02x17 - This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life

[bunniefuu]

Previously on This Is Us...

‭You know what I thought of the first time I heard your name?

I thought of the expression "déjà vu."

'Cause you remind me a little of myself when I was your age.

They dropped the charges.

I'm here for my daughter.

RANDALL: I've got this big, amazing, beautiful life.

Bye, Randall.

RANDALL: And if I'm seeing me in you...

We just want to make sure that you're safe and you're well taken care of.

Uh, we're making it work.

...if seeing you is giving me that sweet, sweet déjà vu feeling, I think that means it's gonna happen for you, too.

(SCREAMING)

Grandma, I'm scared.

Oh, baby, there's nothing to be scared of.

I was here with your mama.

Feels like yesterday.

Feels like déjà vu.

- Uh-huh.

- Baby. Listen.

(SCREAMING)

All right, Rebecca, one more big push, now.

- (REBECCA EXHALES FORCEFULLY)

- There you go.

Keep pushing, keep pushing.

- (GRUNTING)

- All right.

There you go.

(BABY CRYING)

(DISTANT): First male is out, and he is looking good...

You hear that, baby? We got a boy!

We got a boy! (LAUGHS)

We got a boy...

Welcome to the world, Deja.

♪ ♪

Grandma, I-I can't. Told you, my back's still sore.

Yes, your back.

I heard you the last two times.

I'll get the nurse to get you something for your pain.

But I need for you to hold your daughter.

Get to know her.

- Let her get to know you.

- She grew inside me.

I think we know each other pretty well.

No. No. No, you don't. Not really.

You have to hold her.

You will never forget the first time you bond with your baby.

Grandma, I'm just tired.

You ain't tired.

You're just upset with Dennis.

You and your mom are just the same... always worried about some boy.

But, baby girl, I'm gonna straight-talk you now.

I know you're only , but playtime is over.

And it's time for you to grow up.

This child is here now, and she deserves a mother who will put her first.

So...

Mm.

Watch her head. Watch her head.

(FUSSING)

(CRYING)

♪ ♪

- (HUMMING SOFTLY)

- (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR SHUTS)

G.G.!

Deja, what you doing up?

It's almost midnight. Where's your mama?

(SCOFFS)

Scoot.

Come on. Scoot.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES): Baby girl,

did you give away my brooch?

- Mr. Bear's just borrowing it.

- Well, he'd better take real good care of it, because I know where he lives.

- (GIGGLES)

- (CHUCKLES)

Mwah!

- (RAPID KISSES)

- Mmm!

(CHUCKLES)

Okay, what we gonna read tonight?

Goodnight Moon.

Goodnight Moon! Good choice!

That's my favorite.

Let me see. Uh...

Ah, here it is.

Okay.

(EXHALES)

Now...

"In the great green room There was a telephone And a red balloon And a picture of the cow..."

- (MOOS)

- (GIGGLES)

"...jumping over the moon."

"And there were three little bears sitting on chairs And two little kittens And a pair of mittens."

"And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush And a quiet old lady who was whispering 'hush.'"

YOUNG JACK: "Goodnight room Goodnight moon Goodnight cow jumping over the moon Goodnight light And the red balloon."

"And goodnight noises... everywhere."

Why was that child left alone in this house?

- (DOOR SHUTS)

- Aw, Grandma, come on.

I tucked her in, I put her to bed.

I was just at Brandon's.

His place is two blocks from here.

I could practically see her from there.

I was with Deja all day.

I just thought...

You thought that you could just feed her some cold-ass pizza and put on a hoochie dress and go out and have some fun?

You don't have to talk to me like that. I'm not a child.

Oh, so you think you grown?

- I'm .

- Oh, so you grown enough to clean up around here without me having to stare you down?

- I do clean up.

- When?

- Why you always saying I don't clean up?

Well, you grown enough to pay one of these bills?

Because you use everything and you pay for nothing.

- You think I like living off of you?

- I don't know, Shauna, because you're sure in hell not trying to change that.

If I could, I would.

I would be in college right now with my friends.

I wouldn't be here raising no baby.

Well, I didn't think you'd be here either.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

I'm sorry.

(EXHALES)

I know.

(FAINTLY): Do I use whole or canned tomatoes?

- Both.

- Both.

I can't carry this for you.

Not forever.

(PANTS)

- (EXHALES)

- (KEYS JANGLING)

G.G.?

I'm okay, baby.

(PANTS)

♪ ♪

(FAINTLY): Grandma.

Grandma.

Please. Help! Somebody help!

Grandma. Come on, breathe for me. Breathe.

♪ ♪

(EXHALES)

You can't sleep either?

(SOBS SOFTLY, SIGHS)

(SNIFFLES)

(EXHALES)

(CRIES SOFTLY)

What are we gonna do now?

(CRYING)

- (SNIFFLES)

- "In the great green room There was a telephone And a red balloon And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon."

- (MOOS)

- (LAUGHS)

"And there were three little bears sitting on chairs..."

♪♪

(SIZZLING)

- TESS: Get ready!

- WILLIAM: Ready.

- Set! Go!

- WILLIAM: Set.

- Go.

- ANNIE: Oh, my God.

- Oh, you're gonna b*at...

- Get it, get it, get it!

- Okay, whip 'em, whip 'em, whip 'em!

- Okay, okay.

- Oh, my God!

- Come on! Get him!

- (GIRLS SQUEALING)

- WILLIAM: How fast you're going!

- (CHUCKLING): Hey!

- Aw.

(GASPING, LAUGHING)

Okay. You see what I'm doing?

- (ROARS)

- (LAUGHING)

- (GROWLING)

- (YELPS)

Careful, Kev! Careful.

(SIZZLING)

Have you seen my vest?

- DEJA: In the bathroom.

- (SIGHS)

They shut the water off.

I get paid Friday.

We can shower at Mrs. Johnson's till the water's back on.

It's : , Ma. You got to go.

I know, I know.

Happy birthday.

Thank you, baby. (CHUCKLES)

Get your stuff.

I'm taking you to school.

No, you can't. Sam's gonna be mad if you're late again.

Well, let him be mad. It's my birthday, and I want to take my baby girl to school.

Okay.

The electricity bill was-was right here.

I put it in the mail yesterday.

What would I do without you?

(ZIPS BACKPACK)

I b*at every girl in my class in the sprints.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yes.

Mr. Troxell had me race against the boys.

- Really?

- (LAUGHING): Yeah.

Well, you might b*at me, then.

(LAUGHING): Mom.

Stop. I'm not gonna race you in the streets.

Fine.

What time are you off work?

(SIGHS) I'm picking up some extra hours, so : .

: like : , or : like : ?

Okay, don't be a smart-ass.

: like : . Why?

I'm making you dinner for your birthday, and don't ask me what, 'cause it's a surprise.

Okay. Just make sure you don't burn it.

- Like last time.

- Get off me. (LAUGHS) Get off...

(ON TV) Manny say whaaaaat!

(METAL CLANKS)

(RAPID BREATHING)

(GASPS)

(PANTS)

(SNIFFS, PANTS)

Ouch.

SHAUNA (ON VOICE MAIL):

Hey, it's Shauna.

- Leave a message.

- (CRYING): Mom.

Mom, where are you?

I hurt myself.

(SNIFFLING, GASPING)

Excuse me.

Excuse me, please.

Can you... I cut my hand.

Okay, okay.

(PANTS)

DOCTOR: Let's get you all wrapped up.

- How's that feel?

- Good.

Now, it is gonna itch for a few weeks, but just try not to scratch it, because we want it to heal, okay?

♪ ♪

- All right.

- (CURTAINS OPENING)

Excuse me.

Deja, hi.

My name is Linda.

I'm from Child Services.

Just want to make sure you're okay.

(PHONE RINGING)

Deja, you told the nurse your mom was at work.

And we called her job and she's not there.

Do you have any idea where she could be?

SHAUNA: Excuse me.

Hello. Um, I got a message that my daughter is here.

- Ma.

- Deja.

Wh-Where were you?

Uh, we went out for my birthday, and my phone d*ed.

I'm so sorry, baby girl.

- Shauna, can I have a word?

- Who are you?

I'm Linda. We need to talk.

- In private, please.

- No, no, no, no, no. Just give me...

- Just step right out...

- Can I just have one second?

- I just got here.

- Just go through the door.

- Did you hear that my phone d*ed?

- Mm-hmm.

Then what do you want?

I can sort of smell the alcohol.

No, no, no. I only had one drink.

- I'm Child Protective Services.

- No, no, no. You don't...

no, no, no. No, that's not necessary.

- That's not necessary...

- I just...

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Can't tell you how many times I've slept on this thing.

It's not much of a bed, but it's comfortable.

I-I'll do it, I'll do it.

I've called around.

I'm gonna need pretty immediate placement.

(PAPERS SHUFFLING)

For one night.

Maybe longer, I'm not sure yet.

♪ ♪

♪ Lookin' like a court jester, heard what ya said ♪

♪ And that's messed up ♪

♪ But we won't address ya ♪

♪ We go bang-bang, we go bang-bang ♪

♪ And if it don't concern you... ♪

(LAUGHING): Come on. Try it.

I can't. I'm not as good as you.

Nobody's as good as me.

Now get up. I can't have you at the school dance acting all boring.

♪ ♪

- (GIGGLES) Doing good.

- (DOOR OPENS)

What's with all the damn noise?

You can't knock?

Turn that crap off and get your asses to school.

But the buses aren't even here yet, Foster Dad.

Out. Now. Before I toss you out that window.

♪ Well, can you see me now? ♪

♪ Revenge is sweet, but we had fun... ♪

Well?

Did you see his face?

Why do you talk to him like that?

That only gets him madder.

You should be thanking me.

Long as I talk, he focuses on me and not you.

- But you always get in trouble.

- Exactly.

When he gets drunk, he's gonna hit me, anyway.

Might as well have some fun before he does.

Stop worrying about lame-ass Mr. Miller.

His life sucks.

He's got no job and his wife's butt ugly.

(LAUGHS)

You know what you're wearing to the dance?

I got this purple dress I like, but I don't have any makeup.

We could just get our own.

With what money?

Raven, no. Mr. Baldwin's so old.

We can't do...

That's why it'll be easy. Deja, damn.

- I like you, but you're soft.

- I'm not soft.

- Okay.

- I'm not.

You're soft, Deja.

You're quiet and you're sweet and you're soft.

Now, come on.

- Hey, Mr. B.

- Hey, Mr. Baldwin.

Hey, girls.

RAVEN: Deja, come on. Take this.

Stop looking at him.

Here.

And this.

And one of these.

Let's go.

Bye, girls.

Um, is-is this really necessary?

Yes, it's necessary; it's contouring.

MR. MILLER:

Raven, Deja, come on down here.

He's never b*at you that bad before.

LINDA: The Millers tell me you're going to a school dance next week.

- That's wonderful.

- When do I go home?

Deja.

Your mother's been in and out of treatment for the past year.

She only started using that stuff 'cause she misses me.

I understand.

But I want to make sure the next time you go home it's for good, and that's not the case right now.

Is everything okay here?

You can tell me if something's wrong.

Okay.

I'll have a quick word with the Millers before I head out.

Enjoy the dance.

I'll see you in a couple weeks.

He hits us.

♪ ♪

(WHISPERING): Raven.

Raven, are you awake?

Raven, are you mad at me?

RAVEN: Leave me alone.

I had to say something.

Do you know how many beds I've slept in?

I don't.

'Cause by the year I turned nine, I lost count.

At least he only hit.

We could have stayed in those beds for years.

Now we'll get separated.

It's like a storm once it starts, Deja.

Bed after bed after bed.

Before, at least we had each other, at least we weren't alone.

Your mom's doing much better; I'm optimistic.

Deja.

I was thinking about making dinner, maybe Grandma's jambalaya.

Been a while.

And I can help.

What would I do without you?

A friend from rehab might join us tonight if that's all right.

Uh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm telling you, even the abuelitas were dancing in the street.

- SHAUNA: Mm.

It was crazy. But that's DR, you know.

I don't know. Maybe...

- I can take you there some day.

- (SHAUNA LAUGHS)

- Do you have a job?

- Deja!

That's okay. She can ask.

- I work for myself.

- Doing what?

I run a few businesses.

You know, merchandizing mostly.

Look, I know this is a lot for you, Deja.

You and your mom are just trying to figure your stuff out, and here I come, fresh out of rehab.

(LAUGHS) Laugh like a Disney villain, right?

(SHAUNA CHUCKLES)

You know, I think I was just a little older than you when my mom met my stepdad, and no matter what he did, I hated the guy.

But I really hope that you'll give me a chance to prove myself to you, because I really like your mom.

You know, like, I really, like, like her.

Like, so much. Like, serious, you know?

(SHAUNA LAUGHS)

(LONZO SPEAKS QUIETLY)

- Give me a break.

- Give you a break?

You took my money and did what with it?

I told you it sounded like a good deal, right?

That was a lot of money, Lonzo.

- ♪

♪

- (ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

(ARGUING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

- Then, what are you doing?

- Please.

I'm trying to get you and Dej out of here.

- ♪

♪

- (ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

Lonzo, please. What is this g*n doing in the house?

- What are you doing in my stuff?

- Just tell me.

I was trying to help you out.

Didn't I tell you to stay out of my stuff?

Okay, I'm sorry, but we have a child in this house. You know that.

I know we got a child in this house.

Okay, then just get rid of it, okay? Please.

Shauna, why don't you just admit it, right?

You're better off without me.

- No, that's not...

- (DOOR CLOSES)

SHAUNA: Where are my car keys?

I can't be late for work.

Pass them chips, dude.

(KEYS JINGLE)

Did you at least fill up the t*nk? Lonzo?

Hey, Ma, I'm gonna be home late.

Why? What's going on?

Nothing. I just...

I got this thing after school.

Oh, okay.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, have a good day.

- I love you.

- Love you, too.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING AND CHEERING ON TV)

(LAUGHING)

- (DOOR CLOSES)

- (MAN MUTTERS)

(LAUGHING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hey, you got

that math test today, right?

Yup.

Let me help.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

MAN: All right, girls?

Girls?

Girls, come on!

- Let's get started.

- (GIRL GIGGLING)

Hey, uh-uh. Kesha, zip it.

Listen, we have the fall dance slam in a week.

I need y'all to just show out on these solos.

Come on. Deja, you're up.

Can I help you, Officers?

(INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION)

Why'd I get taken out of school?

I'm missing drill team. What's going on?

Your mom's been arrested.

She's in custody.

All I know so far is she was pulled over, and the police found a g*n in her car.

(LINDA SIGHS)

Well, it's not hers.

Well, they are gonna try to get to the bottom of this as quickly as they can, and in the meantime...

Where am I going?

Hi there. Come in.

- Hi, guys. This is Deja.

- BETH: Hi.

Hi, Deja.

It's really nice to meet you.

I'm Randall.

I'm Beth.

So happy to have you here.

This is Tess and Annie.

You can sleep in the reading chair if you're scared.

RAVEN: You're a good person, I think, Deja...

but you need to listen to me.

The next time you find a bed that feels even a little safe, don't blow it.

♪ Please take the words to carry away ♪

♪ There's others in need of the song ♪

♪ We all bury our fathers... ♪

"I had fun, too, Foster Dad."

I'm going to talk to my daughter!

- I just...

- Mom?

Dayje.

Hey, Tater Tot.

♪ We are singing ♪

♪ To comfort pain... ♪

You remember what I told you about working hard. All right?

Big house, fancy car?

Big house.

Fancy car.

♪ If my path is to worry ♪

♪ Then I'll walk in shame ♪

♪ I'd rather find beauty in pain... ♪

Bye, Randall.

Bye, Dej.

♪ ♪

- Is Lonzo...?

- He's gone. It's just us.

I'm gonna get it right this time, Deja.

♪ ♪

Look what I made.

- What's that?

- I made it at school.

It's kind of like a home bank.

We can use it to save money.

(BOTH LAUGH SOFTLY)

Go on, say it.

"What would you do without me?"

(BOTH LAUGH)

Okay.

♪ ♪

DEJA: My mom doesn't know I'm here.

We're past due on our gas.

We haven't had heat in a couple of weeks.

I didn't know where else to go.

SHAUNA: I paid you on the first.

WOMAN: With a bounced check.

That is your third bounced check.

SHAUNA: Hey, lower your voice.

WOMAN: I should have kicked you out of here months ago.

- I told you I'm good for it.

- You're good for nothing.

You pay your rent by the end of the day, or you're gone.

We're getting evicted?

Nobody's getting evicted.

- But Terry just said...

- Don't worry about it.

I said I'll figure it out.

The box is empty, Mom. What happened?

We have bills, Deja.

Damn. I'm picking up extra shifts, but we have bills.

And I had to help with Lonzo's bail.

- What?!

- Look, he's locked up, and it's my fault.

I can't just turn my back.

- What is wrong with you?!

- Excuse me?!

It's always gonna be something, isn't it?

Okay, you need to watch your tone.

Look, I'll figure this out.

You don't have to worry.

(SCOFFS)

Deja?

Come back here! Deja!

Deja...

(RECORDED):

You've reached Randall Pearson of R & B Properties.

Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

(BEEP)

(SIGHS)

Uh, what can I get for this?

Look, we're not Goodwill.

We don't take this kind of stuff here.

Sorry.

(SIGHS)

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

♪ ♪

(PHONE BUZZING)

Hello?

RANDALL: Deja. It's Randall.

I saw you called.

Uh, yeah. Um...

that Bill Nye guy was just on TV.

I just thought of you.

Oh. Okay.

Well, uh, we're in Las Vegas, but I'm keeping my phone on me, okay?

If you need anything.

Okay.

So your heat's back on? It's all good?

Yeah. Um, I'm sorry.

It's hard to call when my mom's around.

♪ You have ♪

♪ Been ♪

♪ Strong in my mind ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Who that ♪

♪ I love ♪

♪ Stands in ♪

♪ My way ♪

♪ Keeps me ♪

♪ From trying ♪

♪ Who am I ♪

♪ To say ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ Is dying ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ On your way ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Am I always ♪

♪ Drawn to the darkest light ♪

♪ It seems ♪

♪ That I ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ I can help it shine ♪

♪ So let me... ♪

Hey, uhm, let me get you something to drink.

- You're back!

- Deja!

- (CHUCKLING)

- RANDALL: Girls, you remember Deja's mom, Shauna?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- There you go.

Why don't you guys take these into the other room, huh?

This is just temporary.

Yeah. I mean, we'll sort it all out.

You stay here tonight, get a good meal.

But we don't have to decide anything now.

I'm sure you want to wash up, settle in.

Yeah, bathroom's upstairs.

You'll find it.

There's, uh, fresh towels on the rack.

Thank you.

(BETH SIGHS)

- ♪

♪

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- I don't like it. But I like red.

- Oh!

(LAUGHTER)

I don't know... I don't know if she meant it in a nice kind of way...

- BETH: Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I see.

- (LAUGHTER)

- MAN (OVER TV): I would like to introduce to all of you, my instructor, the man who taught me how to fight. (MAKES PUNCHING SOUND)

- (LAUGHTER)

- Please welcome... if you will... Sergeant John Hurney.

- (RANDALL GUFFAWING)

- (LAUGHTER)

♪ ♪

Sorry it's the couch for tonight.

The basement's a bit of a mess right now.

- Oh, this is fine for us. Thank you.

- Okay.

Um, can I sleep in my old room?

If that's okay.

Of course.

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Good night, Deja.

Good night.

You ran track?

Yeah. In high school.

I was anchor in the four-by-four. You?

No. I just did cheerleading.

(CHUCKLES) I hated it.

I only did it to impress this guy on the basketball team, Richard Gavin.

He looked like D'Angelo.

Say no more.

- Mm-hmm.

- (CHUCKLES)

I never seen her acting like that, like she was tonight.

- Like what?

Like a kid.

I was a teenager when I had Deja.

I don't mean that as an excuse.

Well, maybe I do. I don't, I don't know.

She's special though, isn't she?

I know all mothers think that, but I-I think she's really special-special, you know?

She is.

I failed Deja.

- No. You didn't.

- (BREATH SHUDDERS)

No, I failed her, and I can't keep failing her.

You know what I always say to her?

I say, "What would I do without you?"

I've been saying that to her since she was five.

Who puts that on a kid?

Who does that?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

May I?

You kept them alive.

It's no biggie.

Just made sure they got enough light, enough Beyoncé, enough water.

This one's looking a little droopy.

Oh, you didn't know?

That's a new species.

It's a Hibiscus droopus.

It's very rare.

Oh, my God, you're still so corny.

Like I'm on the cob, baby.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, God.

(SIGHS)

- You okay?

- Yeah.

I know it's kind of a weird night.

(RANDALL SIGHS)

What you thinking?

Thinking about how many beds I've slept in already, in my whole life.

S-Scary thing to think about, 'cause the number's pretty high.

You remember, a while ago, you told me I reminded you of you?

I do.

That was kind of weird to me, honestly, 'cause you seemed so different from me.

- (CLICKS TONGUE) Psst.

- (CHUCKLES)

It just didn't seem very déjà-vu'y to me.

But then I started thinking, isn't it weird how everyone goes to sleep at night?

Like, everyone in the whole planet.

All these people.

People I'll never know.

Some are poor.

Some are rich.

Some sleep in beds.

Some sleep on the floor.

But, at the end of the day, everyone sleeps.

And I guess, if you think about it hard, you know, got other stuff everyone's got, too.

Things that hurt them.

Things that make them feel better.

Anyway, I don't know if that's déjà vu, but, um, that's just what I was thinking about.

I'm really tired.

(DEJA SNIFFLES)

I know, sweetheart.

♪ ♪

I got to go.

And I can't take her with me.