13x16 - Scoobynatural

[bunniefuu]

DEAN: Aah!

Aah! Uh!

Uhh!


DEAN: Holy oil!

(to Sam) Okay, move!


SAM: Oh!

Pfft. (blowing his hair out of his eyes)

DEAN: Whoa.

SHOP OWNER (coming up from where he was hiding behind the store counter behind Sam and Dean and the dinosaur): Is it over?

SAM: Yeah. Yes. Uh, sorry about the mess.

SHOP OWNER: You boys just took down an evil plushie that was trying to k*ll me. We're all good.

MAN: Alan? Everything okay in here?

ALAN: (Stepping in front of the man to stop his walking further into the shop): Oh, uh, hey, Jay.

JAY: I heard the ruckus next door, and I... What in the...What... holy heck?

SAM: It -- it was a-a...

JAY: Did they do this?

SAM: No. Naw, it was a... Defective product. Yeah, sometimes the batteries in these...giant stuffed dinosaurs just explode.

DEAN (chuckling): Yeah, never buy anything from Mooselyvania.

SAM: Mm. Exactly.

DEAN: Mm.

JAY (skeptically): Okay.

ALAN: Uh, guys, this is Jay. He's the big man around this neighborhood. Owns practically the whole damn thing --the Chinese joint, the laundromat.

SAM: Great. Great, great, great. Yeah, that's very cool. Can you guys give us a second?

ALAN: Great.

DEAN (to Sam): Nice cover.

SAM: What the hell was that? I mean, we rolled into town because people were seeing a lizard monster. And yes, we tracked it back here, but no way did I think we'd end up --

DEAN: k*lling Barney?

SAM: Yeah.

DEAN (grinning): Was pretty satisfying, though, wasn't it? Probably just a cursed object.

SAM: Well, it didn't act like a cursed object. We should probably do some digging.

JAY: Everything all right?

DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, great.

SAM: Yeah. Uh, we were just gonna head out.

ALAN: Oh, hold up. You boys saved my life.

Anything you want, it's yours.

SAM: We could never. We're -- we're just happy we could help.

DEAN: Wait. Uh...anything?

ALAN (holds his arms out): Hmm.

SAM: Dean, this is ridiculous.

DEAN: Look, giving us this made him feel good, okay?

SAM: Yeah, where are you gonna put this? You...

DEAN: I'm the good guy.

SAM: What?

DEAN: She's delicate!

SAM: She...Pfft.

DEAN: Go that way. I'll lead.

SAM: W-what?

SAM: Yeah. Dean...

DEAN: Shh.

SAM: Dude, watch out.

DEAN: Hey, what are you doin'?

SAM: Uh, research.

DEAN: Okay.

SAM: You know, it's the strangest thing. I-I can't find anything on a-a cursed object that actually physically att*cks people.

DEAN: Dude, it's over. All right? Be like Elsa -- Let it go.

SAM: "Be like Elsa"?

DEAN (nodding): Ah? Right? Come here. I need to show you something. It's important. Come on.

DEAN: Behold (Dean turns on the light) ... the Dean-cave. Or Fortress of Dean-a-tude. Just -- still trying to figure that one out.

DEAN: We got Foosball. We've got jukebox -- all vinyl, obviously. Double La-Z-Boy recliners. And, of course, the bar. Still a work-in-progress. It's gonna have a kegerator because...Well, it's gonna. And finally... the pièce de résistance.

SAM: Okay, hold on, hold on. When did you have time to do all this?

DEAN: When it's important, you make time, Sammy.

SAM: Wh--

DEAN: Let's give this bad boy a test run, huh?

♪ Dun, dun ♪

♪ Dun... ♪

♪ Dun, Na! ♪

SAM: What the hell?

SAM (looking around): Dean? What just...

SAM: Aah! DEAN: Aah!

SAM: You're a cartoon! DEAN: You're a cartoon!

DEAN: I'm a cartoon! SAM: I'm a cartoon!

SAM: Uh, is -- is this...Okay, okay, okay. This is dream. It's gotta be a --

SAM: Dude!

DEAN: It's not a dream. Holy crap.

SAM: This is, uh... You saw that light. Did we just get sucked into the TV?

DEAN: Or maybe this is an angel thing. Or -- or the Trickster.

SAM: No, he's dead.

DEAN: Or is he?

SAM: Dean, what the hell?

DEAN: I don't know, Sam. I...

DEAN: Whoa.

SAM: Uh...How did the car get here?

DEAN: I had the keys in my pocket? Or maybe -- Wait, seriously? That's what's bumping you about this? Okay, look, are we animated? Yes. Is it weird? Yes.

SAM: It's beyond weird.

DEAN: Well, and "beyond weird" is kind of our thing. So whatever happened, we'll figure it out. This is a case, so let's work it.

SAM: How?

DEAN: Same as always. We drive.

SAM: A malt shop. Really?

DEAN: Look, let's just head in, ask around, see what we can see.

DEAN: Oh, my God.

SAM: (stammering): That -- that -- that --that's, uh, that's...

DEAN (excitedly): That's the Mystery Machine. We're not just in any cartoon.

SAM: We're in Scooby-Doo!

DEAN: Oh! That's the freakin' Scooby g*ng!

SAM: Great. So we're stuck in a cartoon with a talking dog.

DEAN: Not just any talking dog, the talking dog. The greatest talking dog in history. Now come on! Dibs on Daphne.

DAPHNE: Jeepers! Those sure were some super groovy tunes.

DEAN: Oh, man. This is like a dream come true.

SAM: Your dream is to hang out with the Scooby g*ng?

DEAN: Sam, growing up on the road, no matter where Dad dragged us, no matter what we did, there was always a TV. And you know what was always on that TV? Scooby and the g*ng. These guys, they're our friggin' role models, man. Except Fred. He's a wad.

SAM: He's...What?

DEAN: Just think about it -- we do the same thing. We go to spooky places, we solve mysteries, we fight ghosts.

SAM: Yeah, except our ghosts don't wear masks, and we don't have a talking dog.

DEAN: I don't know. I mean, Cass is kind of like a talking dog. Now, how do I look?

SAM: Two-dimensional.

DEAN: Perfect!

DEAN: Uh...hi.

FRED: Huh?

DEAN: Uh, uh, I'm Dean. My brother, Sam. Mind if we join you?

FRED: Of course not! There's plenty of room. I'm Fred. This is Velma, Shaggy, Scooby, and --

DEAN: Daphne.

DAPHNE: Hmm?

DEAN: Enchanté.

DAPHNE: Hmm.

DEAN: Of course, we know you. You guys are famous.

SCOOBY: Famous?

SHAGGY: Like, the only thing we're famous for is our eating skills.

SCOOBY: Yum, yum, yum.

DEAN: So, looks like you guys are celebrating something?

VELMA: We are!

We just found out that Scooby's been named as one of the heirs to a fortune, left to him by an old Southern colonel.

DAPHNE: Scooby saved him from drowning in a fish pond.

SCOOBY: I'm a hero.

SHAGGY: Scooby.

SAM: Okay, okay, but he's dead now, right?

FRED: (hesitantly) Uh, yeah. Uh, cancer.

DEAN: Give us a second.

DEAN: Hey, you wanna pull that stick out of your...nether regions and just play along here?

SAM: Play...There are no words in this newspaper, Dean. We should be trying to get out of here and instead, you-you're hanging out with Marmaduke.

DEAN: How dare you!

SAM: And hitting on Daphne, when she's clearly with Fred.

DEAN: She's settling, all right? Oh, Daphne could do so much better. Last time we got zapped into TV, we got out by playing our part. This is probably like that. The g*ng, they're about to get a mystery.

FRED: I don't know, g*ng. Sounds like this could be the start of a mystery.

DEAN (walking back to the table): You know, uh, Sam and I are actually mystery solvers, too. Mind if we tag along?

FRED: That sounds like a swell idea. In fact, I think it's high time we hit the road.

SHAGGY: You know what that means?

SCOOBY: Uh-huh!

SHAGGY: Road food! SCOOBY: Road food!

DEAN: Oh, heck, yes!

DEAN (speaking around the food): Sam! Sam! Look how big my mouth is!

FRED: Hey, why don't you guys follow us up to the Colonel's mansion?

DEAN: I don't know, Freddie. I'm not sure Baby can go that slow.

FRED: Well, the Mystery Machine is a lot faster than it looks.

DEAN: Oh, yeah? Well, let's see who can get there first. Or are you...chicken?

FRED: Well, I'm game if you are.

SAM: Hey, why do you hate Fred so much?

DEAN: He thinks he's so cool, with his perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot. Let's do this!

SAM: Did... did you just get b*at by a microvan?

DEAN: The light was red! The light...

DEAN: Look, all I'm saying is that, aerodynamically speaking, there is no way my Baby should lose to...that (pointing to the Mystery Machine). Unless Fred cheated, which he clearly did.

SAM: Dude, get over it.

DEAN: No!

DEAN: "A Night of Fright is No Delight."

SAM: What?

DEAN: That's the episode we're in. I've seen it, like, a million times.

MAN: Attention, everybody. As you all know, I am Cosgood Creeps, attorney of the late Colonel Sanders.

DEAN: Shut up.

COSGOOD CREEPS: My client was a bit odd. His only directions were to play this record for you.

DEAN: Yeah! Classic vinyl.

COLONEL SANDERS: Greetin's, y'all! Cousin Simple, Nephew Norble, Sweet Cousin Maldahyde, Cousin Slicker, and my old friend, Scooby-Doo. You're all gonna receive an equal share of $1 million, providing you spend tonight here in the old family mansion. Oh, one more thing -- the house is haunted.

SAM: Haunted? SCOOBY: Haunted?

COLONEL SANDERS: Yes, haunted. And if any of you can't make it through the night, his or her share of my fortune will go to the others. Now good night and pleasant dreams, y'all.

SCOOBY: Oh, boy.

SAM: What kind of a weirdo sets all this up? I mean, spend the night in a haunted house for $1 million? That can't be legal.

VELMA: Sam, come on. The house isn't really haunted.

SAM: I'm not --

VELMA: And things like this happen all the time.

SAM: Oh, yeah, maybe in a car--

SAM: Dude, what's wrong with you?

DEAN: They don't know that they're in a...a C-word. And we're not gonna tell 'em about anything. Not where we're from, not about monsters. Nothing. Capiche?

DEAN: They are pure and innocent and good, and we're gonna keep it that way.

SAM: Look, if you've seen this episode, why-why can't we just skip to the end?

DEAN: Well, 'cause sometimes it's about the journey and not the destination.

SAM: Or do you just want more time to try and get with Daphne?

DEAN: Do not ruin this for me!

COSGOOD: I'll return to the house in the morning to find out which of you remain, if any. (laughs maniacally)

DEAN: Turns out, he's the bad guy.

SAM: You don't say.

COUSIN SIMPLE: Ten o’clock and I suggest we all turn in.

DEAN: So, Daphne... old drafty house.

DEAN: What say you and I bunk together?

DAPHNE (giggling): Oh, Dean! Boys and girls don't sleep in the same room, silly.

Come on, Velma.

FRED (placing his arm around Dean’s shoulders): Guess you're with me, slugger.

DEAN: Awesome.

FRED: Relax, Scooby. We'll spend the night with ya.

Now let's hit the sack.

SAM: Are you wearing...a nightgown?

DEAN: It's called a sleeping robe. Between you and me, it's freakin' comfortable. It's like I'm wrapped in hugs.

DAPHNE: So those new guys are kinda groovy.

VELMA: Sure, Dean's all right. But that big lug...What a dummy. "Haunted." Sheesh. Like that's a real thing.

DAPHNE: Huh.

VELMA: What?

DAPHNE: Oh, nothing. Just...I thought big lugs were kinda your thing.

VELMA: Huh? (blushing) Pssh.

COUSIN SIMPLE: Hmm? Huh?

SAM: Is that all you're gonna do? Eat?

DEAN: Relax. In a few minutes, we're gonna find out that Cousin Simple's missing, the Scooby’s are gonna think that it's a ghost, but really, it's just the lawyer Cosgood Creeps in disguise.

DEAN: Told ya.

FRED: Come on, g*ng! Let's check it out!

DAPHNE: Oh, no!

DEAN: Wait, wait, wait. No, the dummy bodies don't show up until later.

SAM: Dean, this isn't a dummy. This is blood.

SAM: He's -- he's dead. Like -- like, really, actually dead.

VELMA: Jinkies!

DAPHNE: Jeepers!

SHAGGY: Zoinks!

SCOOBY: Ruh-roh!

DEAN: Son of a bitch.

FRED (happily): Well, g*ng, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands.

SAM: Are you kidding me, Fred? Dude, someone's dead. A little respect.

DEAN: Yeah, Fred. He can be such a jerk. (Leaning into Daphne) Right, Daphne?

DAPHNE: Not really.

VELMA (to Shaggy, Scooby, and Sam): We should look for evidence...

SCOOBY: Huh?!

VELMA: Like fingerprints or fluids.

SCOOBY: Uh-huh!

SAM: Fluids?

DEAN (grabbing the front of Sam’s jacket): Dude, this is not the way things went down in the episode. I remember everything that happened in Scooby-Doo and no one ever got stabbed in the back and ended up in a pool of their own blood.

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, okay. Um, so, if that guy can die for real in this cartoon, that means we can, too.

DEAN: It doesn't matter if we die. Scooby-Doo could die! And that's not happening, not on my watch. I'd take a b*llet for that dog.

VELMA: There has to be a logical explanation for what's going on.

SHAGGY: Besides a ghost hunting us down to collect an inheritance?

SCOOBY: Yeah, what he said.

DAPHNE: What would a ghost need with money?

VELMA: Precisely. And besides, there's no such thing as ghosts.

SCOOBY: Huh?

VELMA: So once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

SHAGGY: Look!

FRED: Gotcha!

MAN: Uhh! Aah! Uhh!

DEAN: Not today, freak!

SAM: Cass?

DEAN: Cass?

SHAGGY: Like, you know this guy?

SAM: Uh, yeah, yeah. He's a -- he's a friend of ours.

DAPHNE: Neato!

DEAN: Castiel, the Scooby g*ng.

SHAGGY: Castiel? It sounds like a great Italian pizza place.

CASTIEL: Uh, it's a pleasure to meet you.

SCOOBY: Nice to meet you, too.

CASTIEL: Sam, Dean...this dog is talking.

DEAN: Yep.

SAM: Cass, how did you get here?

CASTIEL: Well, I was looking for you at the bunker when...

CASTIEL: Sam? Dean? I'm back from Syria with fruit from the Tree of Life. The tree was guarded by a pack of djinn.

I k*lled most of them, bargained with the rest. Think I'm... technically married to their queen now. Hello? Sam?

DEAN: I don't know, Freddie. I'm not sure Baby can go that slow.

CASTIEL: Dean?

FRED: Well, the Mystery Machine is a lot faster than it looks.

DEAN: Oh, yeah? Well, let's see who can get there first.

Or are you...chicken?

FRED: Well, I'm game if you are.

SAM: Hey, why do you hate Fred so much?

DEAN: He thinks he's so cool, with his perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot. Let's do this!

CASTIEL: I saw purple sparks, then a flash of light, and the next thing I knew, I was in this strange world. I saw you race off...

CASTIEL: Hey!

and I've been trying to catch up ever since.

SAM: You saw purple sparks? Dean, that's like with the k*ller stuffed dinosaur. And they were both in that pawn shop. Maybe this is all connected.

VELMA: Um, "k*ller stuffed dinosaur"?

SAM: Oh, I-I didn't mean a real...

DEAN: It's a book we're writing. Yeah, about...k*ller stuffed dinosaurs. It's called...

CASTIEL: "The k*ller Stuffed Dinosaur in Love."

FRED: Huh. Great title.

SCOOBY: Yeah. Great title.

DAPHNE: Well, if he isn't responsible for Cousin Simple's death, who is?

SCOOBY: Huh?

SHAGGY: Like, somebody turn up the heat in here, man. It's getting cold.

SCOOBY: Huh?

SHAGGY: Huh?

DEAN: Sam.

SCOOBY: Roh!

SHAGGY: Ph-ph-ph-phantom!

SCOOBY: Aah!

DEAN: Come on, Sam. We're on.

FRED: Yah!

FRED: Uhh!

FRED: Gotcha!

FRED: Uhh! Huh?

DEAN: Wait, what?

SCOOBY: G-g-g-g-ghost!

VELMA: Guys, no. It's not a ghost

SHAGGY: Oh, yeah? Then, man, how did he just walk through that wall?!

VELMA: Well, there's probably a hidden door.

FRED: Well, whatever it was, it's gone now. It looks like he was coming out of here.

FRED: Well, that's not good.

DEAN: I think I'm gonna be sick.

FRED: Come on, g*ng!

SAM: So do they always just walk away from dead bodies or...

DEAN: Sam, the cold spot, fritzing out...that was a ghost --our kind of ghost. I think this cartoon is haunted.

DEAN: All right, Prepmeister Fred, what's your plan?

FRED: We should all split up and search the house for clues.

CASTIEL: That's a plan?

DEAN (disapprovingly): Mnh-mnh.

SAM: I-I don't think we should separate. It'll be easier for Dean and me to keep you safe if we're all together.

VELMA: Really, Sam? I wouldn't expect such a big, broad-shouldered fella like you to be as chicken as Shaggy.

VELMA: No offense, Shaggy.

SHAGGY (peeking out from behind a suit of armor that him and Scooby are hiding behind): Like, none taken.

SAM: If this is a real ghost, these guys are in trouble. We can't let anything happen to them.

DEAN: Exactly. So, for now, let's follow ascot boy's lead. (running to Daphne) I call team-up with Daphne!

FRED: Great! It'll be just the three of us.

VELMA: Sam and I will check the attic. I mean...unless you're too scared.

SAM: What? N-no, I-I'm...Let's check the attic.

SHAGGY: Like, man, I guess that leaves me and old Scoob with you, Castiel.

CASTIEL: Wonderful. I once led armies, and now I'm paired with a scruffy Philistine and a talking dog.

VELMA: So I guess this is your first mystery. So if you could keep those giant linebacker shoulders from knocking over any clues, that would be great.

SAM: Why do you keep talking about my shoulders?

VELMA: Oh, I, uh, huh.

Uh...

SAM: Aah!

VELMA: Maybe that was the ghost.

SAM: Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but ghosts are real.

VELMA: Huh?

SAM: My brother and I, we hunt them, along with werewolves and vampires and demons and...We've saved the world. A lot.

VELMA (laughing): Look, Sam, the simple fact is monsters are nothing more than crooks in masks -- usually unscrupulous real estate developers.

SAM: One, there are way better real estate scams. And two --

VELMA: Hey, look! A clue.

VELMA: That's strange. SAM: That's strange.

VELMA: I guess we both noticed that these toys are the only things up here that aren't covered in dust.

SAM: Actually, I was noticing this. (running his fingers through the goo) Ectoplasm. This gets left behind by ghosts.

VELMA: Oh, stop already. You can't really believe in ghosts.

VELMA: Oh! SAM: Oh!

SAM: Told you.

VELMA: Aah! It's not a g- It's probably just Christmas lights and -- and fishing line.

DEAN: So, Daph, I usually don't have to do this, but what do you look for in a guy?

DAPHNE: Oh, I don't know. Strong, sincere, and an ascot wouldn't hurt.

DEAN: Whoa, hold on. Check out that book.

FRED: There are a lot of books in here, Dean.

DEAN: No, that one. The one that isn't painted into the background of the car--Library. The...library.

DEAN: Huh. Sorry. I thought it might be some kind of secret passage or...

ALL: Aah!

DEAN: Whoa! Daphne, you okay? Maybe I should just give you a once-over to make sure.

DEAN: AHH! Oh! Oh, hell no.

SHAGGY: Like, did someone open a window?

SCOBBY: Yeah, it's cold in here.

CASTIEL: Never seen a ghost wear such a ridiculous costume.

CASTIEL: Huh?

SHAGGY: Aah!

Run! Run!

(Shaggy, Scooby, and Castiel are chased by the ghost as the Scooby Doo theme starts to play)

♪ Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? ♪

♪ We got some work to do now ♪

♪ Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? ♪

DEAN: Hey!

♪ We need some help from you now ♪

♪ Come on, Scooby-Doo, I see you ♪

♪ Pretending you got a sliver ♪

♪ You're not foolin' me 'cause I can't see ♪

♪ The way you shake and shiver ♪

♪ You know we got a mystery to solve ♪

♪ So, Scooby-Doo, be ready for your act ♪

♪ Don't hold back ♪

♪ And, Scooby-Doo, if you come through ♪

♪ You're gonna have yourself a Scooby Snack ♪

♪ That's a fact! ♪

♪ Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? ♪

♪ Scooby-Doo ♪

♪ You're ready and you're willin' ♪

♪ Scooby-Doo ♪

♪ If we can count on you, Scooby-Doo ♪

♪ I know we'll catch that villain ♪

FRED: We have to stop this ghost.

DAPHNE: We almost did. Dean had him by the thigh.

CASTIEL: He what?

DEAN: I almost caught him. That's the point.

VELMA: Guys, come on. For the last time, there's no such thing as ghosts.

VELMA: Oh, no!

VELMA: That costume looks really...real.

FRED: I'll get him.

SAM: Fred, don't!

FRED: Uhh!

DAPHNE: Fred!

DAPHNE: Huh?

VELMA: Huh?

DAPHNE: Oh!

DAPHNE & VELMA: Uhh!

SHAGGY: Like, that's our cue to get out of here! Aah! Run!

SHAGGY: Aah!

DAPHNE: Shaggy!

SAM: Dean! Iron!

DAPHNE: Oh! VELMA: Oh!

BOTH: Ah!

FRED: What just happened?

SCOOBY: Where's Shaggy?

SHAGGY: Over here!

SHAGGY: Like, little help?

SCOOBY: Shaggy!

CASTIEL: Scooby!

DEAN: Scooby!

SCOOBY: Gotcha!

SHAGGY: You've got me! Who's got you?!

SCOOBY: Oh!

SHAGGY: Aah!

SCOOBY: Shaggy!

DAPHNE: Shaggy! Are you okay?

SHAGGY: Like, do I look like I'm okay?

CASTIEL: It appears his arm is broken.

SHAGGY: What? That's not -- I have jumped out of a biplane in a museum and was fine! How did this happen?!

FRED: I-I don't know. I...Something threw me across the room.

VELMA: Wires. Probably just wires.

SHAGGY: Like, hello! Broken arm here!

VELMA: Shaggy, brace yourself.

DAPHNE: Uhh! Fred, give me your ascot.

SAM: Dean, we have to tell them the truth.

DAPHNE: What truth?

SAM: The truth about the phantom.

DEAN: Look, this phantom isn't like other ghosts you've faced. He's real. He is a real ghost.

SCOOBY g*ng: Huh?

FRED: Um, I'm not totally following you.

SAM: Look, that isn't a guy in a mask and a costume. It's a vengeful spirit that's come back from the dead.

DEAN: That's the truth.

VELMA (taking off her glasses): So everything you told me, it's true?

SAM: Mm-hmm.

VELMA: Werewolves? Vampires? Demons?

SAM, DEAN, and CASTIEL: Mm-hmm.

VELMA: I thought I was blind without my glasses, but I was just blind. Oh, how could I be so stupid?

SAM: Uh, well, I mean...

FRED: We've been stopping real estate developers when we could've been hunting Dracula?

FRED: Are you kidding me?!

SAM & DEAN: Ooh. Ah. - Uh...

FRED: My life is meaningless!

DAPHNE: If there are ghosts... that means there's an afterlife. Heaven. Hell. Am I going to hell?!

SHAGGY: We told you every freaking time! But did you ever listen to Scoob and me? No!

SCOOBY: We're doomed.

DEAN (sternly): All right, knock it off! Come on! Scooby g*ng does not have nervous breakdowns. Now you may not have tangled with the supernatural, but you've fought monsters, real freakin' psychos. Well, you stopped Zeke and Zeb. Shaggy figured out that the sharks Old Iron Face rode were really just torpedoes disguised to look like sharks. And what about the Black Knight? Huh? Mamba Wamba?

SAM: The Space Kook.

DEAN: I knew it! You love this show, too.

SAM (shrugging): Mm.

DEAN: Space Kook, Ghost Clown, Miner 49er. You guys have all jumped into danger with no thought for yourselves. You're heroes, and together, we're gonna take down this phantom. Are you with me?

SCOOBY g*ng (raising their fists in the air): Yeah!

FRED: Let's do it!

VELMA: But how? We don't know the first thing about fighting real ghosts. We don't have the proper tools or weapons.

SAM: That's okay. We do.

SCOOBY g*ng: Ooh. Whoa.

SAM: Here, Velma, take this.

DEAN: Sam, are you crazy? They can't use this stuff. That's a Scooby-don't.

FRED: Dean, we've gotta do something. I mean, you guys are amazing!

DEAN: Thank you, Fred.

FRED: But we can help. We have to.

DEAN: (bleep) right you can. You're gonna do what you do best -- build a trap.

FRED: Ahh. That should do it.

DEAN: Lay it on me, Freddy.

FRED: Well, you see, Daphne's covered all the exits except that one with salt. So the phantom will enter there, tripping the iron chain that'll activate the a*, which cuts the rope that holds the coconuts.

SAM: Where'd he get coconuts?

DEAN: Shh!

FRED: The coconuts are gonna roll, tripping the phantom, sending him careening down a slide of soap, right into the washing machine which we'll secure with those iron chains.

SAM: And with the ghost captured, we can finally find out what's going on.

VELMA: Now all we need...is bait.

SHAGGY: You think the phantom decided to leave?

CASTIEL: No, it's still here. Don't worry.

SCOOBY: That's what I'm worried about.

SCOOBY: Hmm. Mm-hmm?

CASTIEL: Aah! Run!

SHAGGY & SCOOBY: Aah!

SCOOBY: Shaggy Whoa!

Aah! Whoa! -

Aah! Whoa!

Ahh. Whoa!

SAM: I told you it wasn't going to work.

DEAN: Yeah, Fred's traps never work. (yelling) Daph, Plan B! Operation Bookworm is a go.

FRED, DAPHNE & VELMA: Aah!

SHAGGY: Good sh*t, Scoob old buddy.

SHAGGY: Give him another one.

DAPHNE: Scooby, now!

SAM: That's a salt circle. You're stuck.

GHOST: Let...me...go!

DEAN: Happy to, Sparky, soon as you tell us who you really are.

CASTIEL: It's...a child.

DEAN: yeah, creepy ghost kid. You get used to 'em.

SAM: But...Wait. Why are you trying to k*ll us?

BOY: I'm not. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But the bad man, he makes me.

CASTIEL: The bad man?

BOY: His name is Jay.

DEAN: The dude from the pawnshop.

BOY: When I d*ed, my soul was tied to a pocketknife.

BOY: My dad gave it to me. It meant everything. When Jay found me, he used me to...Sometimes, I get so angry I break things, hurt people.

BOY: But I don't want to.

BOY: I just wanna see my dad again.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry. It was wrong of him to do that.

SAM: None of this was your fault.

DEAN: Look, if you get us back to the real world, we can set you free.

BOY: Do you promise?

DEAN: Cross my heart and hope to d-- Well, you know what I mean.

FRED: Should I -- should I make another trap?

VELMA: I could get the shotgun!

DAPHNE: I could get two shotguns!

SHAGGY: Like, tell Scoob and me when it's over!

SCOOBY: Yeah!

DEAN (to the g*ng): Okay, okay, hey, give me a minute. We can't leave 'em like this.

DEAN: Kid, we need a favor.

g*ng: Aah! Uhh!

FRED: Did you send it back to the fiery pit from whence it came?!

SAM: Look, everything's under control.

SCOOBY g*ng: Aah! k*ll it with fire!

DEAN: Whoa! Slow your roll, guys. We were wrong.

g*ng: Huh?

DAPHNE: What -- what are you -- what are you saying?

SAM: Velma...w-was right.

SHAGGY: Like, she was?

SAM: This wasn't a real ghost. We were fooled.

SAM: But you never were, right, Velma?

VELMA: I, uh...I don't know.

DEAN: Hey, guys, do your thing. This is my favorite part.

SCOOBY g*ng: Cosgood Creeps?!

DAPHNE: But...the flying.

SAM: Wires.

FRED: Huh.

SHAGGY: What about the walking through the walls? And the bodies?

SAM: Well, that was just a projector. As for the bodies...

VELMA: Were they...dummies filled with corn syrup?

SCOOBY: Huh?

SAM: Exactly.

FRED: Of course! Cosgood was trying to drive everyone from the house so he could get the money for himself.

DEAN: Right. But the joke is on him because the money's worthless.

DEAN: It's all Confederate dollars.

SCOOBY: Aw! Oh, well. Easy come easy go.

VELMA (laughing) So... I was right. I told ya, ya big lug.

There's no such thing as the supernatural.

SAM: Looks like you were right, and now we know.

SHAGGY: (taking off the sling) Hey, my arm's feeling better. Don't think it was really broken after all.

FRED: This is great news! Let's meet at the malt shop and celebrate.

DEAN: Sure, Fred. And hey, you're not so bad.

Yeah, I know. Thanks.

DEAN: (placing his hand on Daphne’s waist) So, uh...I guess this is it.

DAPHNE: This is what?

DEAN: (placing his open hand on Daphne's mouth) Shh. No words. We'll never know what could've been.

DAPHNE (running away): Freddy, wait for me!

CASTIEL: (hugging Shaggy and Scooby tightly) I will miss your wise words and your gentle spirits.

SHAGGY: Like, we will miss breathing.

SCOOBY: hh!Ohh!

CASTIEL: Thank you. You've shown me the great strength of laughter in the face of danger.

SCOOBY: Danger?! Where?! Let's get out of here, man.

SHAGGY: Aah! SCOOBY: Oh!

SAM: Great working with you, Velma.

VELMA: You, too, Sam.

VELMA: Mmm. Mwah. Those shoulders. Jinkies! (she raises her arms triumphantly as she leaves the room)

DEAN: Shoulda known Velma was good to go. Gah! It's always the quiet ones.

CASTIEL: We're ready.

SAM: Okay. That was...something.

DEAN: That was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes the Cartwright twins.

CASTIEL: What did you do with the Cartwright twins?

DEAN (laughing) Oh. I'll be right back.

SAM: I don't think I wanna know.

DEAN: Well, sorry, sweetheart.

DEAN: Time to go, kid.

BOY: What about the bad man?

SAM: Don't worry about him. We'll take care of him, all right?

JAY: You sure about this?

ALAN: Look, you're gettin' this place for a steal. But...I'm too old for this crap.

JAY: If you say so. Just, uh, two more signatures, and...

DEAN: Not so fast.

ALAN: Is that an ascot?

DEAN: Yes. Yes, it is.

JAY: Uh, what are you guys doing here?

SAM: Hey, Alan, your friend here, he's been driving people off their property so he could buy it on the cheap. And he's been using his own personal ghost to do it. You see, he'd plant the haunted object, then let the ghost go to work.

DEAN: Then they would possess something, like a big dinosaur or a perfectly beautiful TV.

CASTIEL: And scare people so much that they'd be desperate to sell.

SAM: When we got nosy...

SAM: I think we should probably keep doing some digging.

JAY: Everything all right?

SAM: Where you gonna put this?...

SAM: he sicced his pet ghost on us.

DEAN: Take it easy!

SAM: What?

DEAN: She's delicate, all right?

DEAN: I'll lead.

SAM: Oh, she...Pfft.

"She"? She? Really, she?

CASTIEL(holding up the b*rned pocketknife): But now, that spirit is freed.

JAY: They're lying. They're... You think anyone's gonna believe that?

SAM: No, but that's why we hacked your financials. Turns out you're not so big on paying your taxes, are ya?

DEAN: Good enough for Capone, good enough for you.

SAM: Ha! Velma was right. It was a shady real estate developer after all.

COP: Here you go.

JAY: It's not fair. I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

DEAN (excitedly): He said it! He said the line!

COP: Watch your head.

DEAN (in a Scooby voice) Scooby Dooby Doo!

SAM: What are you doing?

DEAN: Well, I mean, at the end of every mystery, Scooby looks into the camera and he says --

CASTIEL: Dean, you're not a talking dog.

DEAN: I know that. I...

SAM: Yeah.

DEAN: No, but come on, I-I do look cool with the ascot, right?

No?

Guys? Come on, guys.

Look, red is my color!