13x17 - The Thing

[bunniefuu]

SAM: (sleepily in greeting) Dean?

DEAN: (pulls out the chair and sits) Yeah?

SAM: What are you doing?

DEAN: (gestures with his hands, casually picking up a coffee cup) Nothing. Uh, whatcha readin’?

SAM: Well..um...I finally found something on the Seal of Solomon, but - it’s really weird.

DEAN: Yeah, Hit me! (he sniffs before taking a sip.)

SAM: All right. (Reading from the book...) Then Mighty Solomon commanded unto his priests ‘Bind my Seal.’ But the jewel was of the cosmos.

DEAN: Jewel of the cosmos? What does that mean?

SAM: I don’t know. Maybe a- a meteorite?

DEAN: (considering) Mm. Yeah, maybe. Well, forget what it is. Where the hell would that be?

SAM: (tossing his hand in frustration) It doesn’t say.

DEAN: (sighing) Okay, so, we’ve got blood of a holy man, we’ve got fruit of the Tree of Life, but this piece of Kryptonite, we’ve been through every book in this place, and we’ve got squat.

SAM: (rubbing his forehead) Yeah. All right, I guess we should check the archives again.

DEAN: Great. (said sarcastically.)

SAM: (rolling up his sleeves) All right. I go left, you go right.

DEAN: I love books. (said even more sarcastically)

SAM: What?

DEAN: (who was just being silly) Nothin’.

SAM: Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? Dean!

DEAN: Sa--Hey.

SAM: Are you serious?

DEAN: What?

DEAN: Oh, it’s hilarious. Forget that, look. The Men of Letters found it. Solomon’s treasure.

SAM: Where?

DEAN: 1917, in what is modern day Isreal. According to this (he shows Sam a document) they dug it up. And, uh, here, look at the, uh, right there. (pointing at the page.)

SAM: (reading from the page) Uh, among the items found -- a crystal that glows with an unearthly light.

DEAN: That’s gotta be the Seal, right?

SAM: It’s gotta be. Where is it?

DEAN: Uh, uh, it says that they took it to uh...Cap...Capitalum seven in Portsmouth, Rhode Island.

SAM: Capitulum Seven?

DEAN: Yeah.

SAM: Capitulum means uh, chapterhouse.

DEAN: (pretending he knew that) Yeah.

SAM: So the Men of Letters has only one bunker, but they have smaller outposts all over the place. Capitulum One is in Jamestown. Capitulum Seven, I guess, is in Portsmouth, Rhode Island.

DEAN: There is is. (pointing at the document Sam is holding)

DEAN: Jinkies!

SAM: You’re going to stop saying that eventually, right?

DEAN: I don’t know. Probably not. Look, (he claps his hand in enthusiasm) Let’s go!

DEAN: You sure this is it?

SAM: That’s what the map says.

DEAN: So where’s the door?

SAM: Dean.

DEAN: (seeing what Sam sees on the manhole cover) Huh.

SAM: No way!

DEAN: Ask questions, get answers.

SAM: This way.

DEAN: Looks familiar, huh?

SAM: [scoffs] Yeah

SAM: Except for that.

DEAN: Hmm.

DEAN: Great. More books.

SAM: You love books. All right, look for anything on King Solomon.

SAM: (looking at the contents of the room with his flashlight) Don’t know where to start, Dean.

DEAN: Hmm.

SAM: (pulling the portfolio off the shelf, and knocking over a number of objects) No way. Dean?

DEAN: Hmm?

SAM: Check this out.

WOMAN: Who’s there? Help me! Is someone there!?

WOMAN: Hurry! Please! Please! Hurry!

WOMAN: Who are you?

SAM: We’re here to help you. But…

DEAN: How long have you been down here?

WOMAN: (struggling in her chains) I don’t know.

WOMAN: You have to get me out of here.

DEAN: Wait, are you...are you Sandy Porter? Born in 1903?

SANDY: Yes.

SANDY: Thank God you found me.

WALLACE: No, no, no, no. Asmodeus is busy.

KETCH: Then why did he call for me?

WALLACE: Don’t know. Ask him yourself when he’s ready, which he isn’t, because he’s busy, so...

KETCH: (disgruntled) Might you have something to read?

SANDY: That’s…not possible.

SAM: It’s true. Sandy, it’s 2018. You were down there for almost a 100 years.

SANDY: No. You’re lying.

DEAN: Sandy, I know it’s a lot to take in, okay. But..Well, look, this is -- what a car looks like now. (gesturing towards the Impala) Well, they should.

SAM: (pulling his cell phone out of his pocket) This...this is a phone, and a camera and...everything else.

DEAN: Welcome to the future.

SAM: (gesturing for Sandy to get in the car) Please.

WALLACE: Yeah, no way. This thing’s amazing. Look, you just click on the kitty video. (Snaps his fingers.) It loads, just like that. Look, napping in a sunbeam! Look at him! Look at this little guy. His little hat! Oh, yeah, I love cats.

ASMODEUS: There we go. Oh, just a little more.

KETCH: (clearing his throat) Bad time?

WALLACE: My lord, I…tried to stop him.

ASMODEUS: (glaring at Wallace) Did you now?

KETCH: Look, you called me for me, I came. If you don’t need me, I have --

ASMODEUS: (scolding) Ketch, Ketch, Ketch.

ASMODEUS: (at Ketch) My boy.

ASMODEUS: I called you ‘cause you work for me. (He ushers Ketch out the door and back to the bench in the corridor with a hand on his back.) And I need you, when I need you.

KETCH: (annoyed) That’s not our arrangement, and I’m not the help. This is a freelance contract.

ASMODEUS: (ignoring what Ketch is saying) So be a good lad...and wait.

BUCK: Amy.

AMY: Hey, Buck. Have you decided what you want?

BUCK :Yeah. I’d like to try something different.

JOANNE: Poor Buck. He comes in here bird-dogging after Amy and she won’t give him a simple yes or no.

BUCK: Well, whatever you think Amy, I mean, you know better than me.

JOANNE :Still, if Amy don’t want any, I’ll go a few rounds with that boy. (she laughs and turns back towards the silent cook) Oh...I like talking to you Marc. You make me laugh.

JOANNE: (addressing Dean) Sit anywhere you like, hon.

SANDY: (looking at the lights on the ceiling) Everything’s so...electric.

JOANNE: Folks, what’ll it be?

SAM: Uh, well, what’s good?

JOANNE: Well, people love the clam cakes, but if you ask me you gotta try the stuffies.

DEAN: I don’t know what stuffies are. I’ll take two. And the clam cakes.

JOANNE: Anything to drink?

SAM: Uh, water will be great. (gesturing at everyone at the table)

JOANNE: (with good natured sarcasm) Oh, that’s exciting. It comes with a lemon. You sure you can handle that? (turning to Sandy) How about you sweetie? Oh my goodness you’re all skin and bones. When’s the last time you ate somethin’?

SAM: You know what, let’s get her the uh, the - the meat loaf.

BRUNETTE: (answering the call) Marco?

MARCO: We got a problem.

BRUNETTE: Yes, we do. A very big problem.

KRISPY’S DINER, INTERIOR

SANDY: I don’t...How...How am I still alive?

SAM: Um...we don’t really know yet.

SANDY: And..and how are you so calm about the fact that... I’m still alive?

DEAN: This kind of weird. It’s sort of our thing.

SANDY: I- I don’t know what that means.

SAM: It means that we can help you. We just have to um… You know what, let’s start with the basics. How did you get down there in the first place?

SANDY: I met this man. He said he was...part of a secret club. I thought he was talking about a speakeasy or something. But he called it Men of...words?

SAM: Men of Letters?

SANDY: Yes, how...how did you know that?

DEAN: Like I said, it’s sort of our thing.

SAM: Wait a second. So these Men of Letters, they were the ones who -- chained you down there?

SANDY: (visibly upset) I think. I..I..

DEAN: Sandy, whatever happened down there, you’re safe now, okay? We’ll protect you. I promise.

SANDY: There was chanting.

SANDY: And then there was this...light. [She remembers the lead cultist chanting “Yokoth! Yokoth!” and the portal opening.]

SANDY: Like a...rip in the air.

SANDY: And it happened…

SANDY: They were using me to...to feed it.

SAM: To feed what?

SANDY: (whispering in fear) The monster.

JOANNE: Sure I can’t get you any coffee?

SANDY: Excuse me.

JOANNE: Sweetie, you okay?

ASMODEUS: (sarcastically) Mr. Ketch. Sorry to keep you waitin’

KETCH: Why am I here?

ASMODEUS: The Winchesters are gathering up pieces to a spell. A real big magic sort of affair.

KETCH: I’ve heard. Their pet angel was just in the Holy Land.

ASMODEUS: You knew and didn’t tell me?

KETCH: You didn’t ask.

ASMODEUS: I shouldn’t have to ask.

KETCH: (slightly conciliatory) I was merely gathering intelligence.

ASMODEUS: (leaning forward) In the future, you let me fill in the blanks. The last prophet that checked out of here said they was trying to open up a portal to another even more epically messed up world. To do that, they need ingredients. We need to stop them.

KETCH: Ingredients? Such as?

ASMODEUS: Well, if they got the spell from the Demon Tablet, which they did -- some blood, few other things, and whole mess of archangel grace.

KETCH: Ah, and here you are pumping it into your veins.

ASMODEUS: Everyone needs a little pick me up from time to time. But enough about my juice box. It’s time we talk about us. You see...I don’t believe you understand the nature of this relationship.

KETCH: You pay me. I do what needs to be done. End of transaction.

ASMODEUS: (stroking his beard) Yeah. See. No. It’s more like, I own you.

KETCH: You don’t ow--

ASMODEUS: (cutting off Ketch) And it’s time you get in line, boy.

KETCH: If that’s how you feel. I believe I’m done here. Good day.

ASMODEUS: You’re done, when I say you’re done.

ASMODEUS: You’re gonna learn, son. You do what I say…

ASMODEUS: When I say!

ASMODEUS: And if you ever even think of sassing me again…

ASMODEUS: (annoyed) Ah. Look what you did to my suit.

KRISPY’S DINER

SAM: Okay, what the hell man? I mean...we tested her for everything --holy water, silver, she passed it all so...

DEAN: Yeah, and she’s been down in a basement for 90 years. How does she look the way she does? And this doesn’t sound like the Men of Letters either. I mean, their boring. They wear tweed. They smoke from pipes. They--they...don’t kidnap people.

SAM: Except apparently, they did. Oh, and this, uh the -- the flash of light that Sandy talks about seeing, this rip in the air, sounds like…

DEAN: Like a rift. So what now? They’re opening doors to different worlds and--and ‘Buffalo Billing’ chicks?

SAM: And feeding a monster. So...not boring after all.

DEAN: But all the Men of Letters d*ed d*ed 60 years ago.

SAM: Long than that.

DEAN: So then who’s been keeping her down there?

SAM: You know what? How ‘bout this?. You stay here with Sandy, I’ll go back --

DEAN: No, no, no. What?

SAM: What?

DEAN: I’m not gonna let you go back there by yourself.

SAM: Dean --

DEAN: No, this is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna find Sandy a motel room. We’re gonna teach her how to use the TV. Well, we’re gonna have to tell her what a TV is. And then we’re gonna go back together.

JOANNE: Here we go. (speaking to Sam) Lobster roll, no bun, and kale salad for you, String Bean.

DEAN: (looking disgustedly at Sam’s salad) Kale’s a garnish.

SAM: It’s healthy. I’m watching my cholesterol, like you should be.

DEAN: Yeah, I’m watching my cholesterol. Watching it go up.

BUCK: Well, I guess I will see you...later.

BUCK: What the hell?

JOANNE: Clam cakes.

DEAN: Mmm.

JOANNE: Two orders of stuffies.

DEAN: See? Garnish.

JOANNE: And, meat loaf for our young lady.

BUCK: Hey. Something weird’s going on

DEAN: (calmly, eyes still on the cultists) Sam.

DEAN: Go get Sandy.

DEAN: (alarmed now) Sam? Sam? Hey. Hey! Hey!

DEAN: (to Sam) Wait...wait..

DEAN: Sandy!

BUCK: Hey. Wait. Wait. What’s…

BUCK: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey!

SANDY: What’s going on?

DEAN: (standing up) Sandy! Come here. Sit down.

Amy: (in fear) Buck!

SAM: Dean?

DEAN: (needing some help) Sammy!

SAM: Dean.

SAM: Hey! What are you doing?

DEAN: Sammy?

SANDY: They’re still out there.

AMY: We gotta call the police.

BUCK: My phone’s not working.

JOANNE: They’re all dead. Landline, too

SANDY: (to Joanne) Who’s that?

JOANNE: (wide-eyed) The police.

DEAN: They took my brother. I’m gonna get him back.

SAM: Who are you? What do you want?

MARCO: What you stole from us. The monster.

SAM: (sounding confused) The what?

OPHELIA: Less a monster, more a god.

SAM: (incredulous) A… Wait, what are you talkin’ about?

MARCO: How’d you find our chapterhouse?

SAM: My -- my brother and I, we -- we’re uh...our family was Men of Letters.

OPHELIA: (glancing at Marco) So was ours.

MARO: Kinda.

SAM: Kinda?

OPHELIA: Our great-grandfather, Diego Avila, was a member. Well, until he --

MARCO: Went psycho. Jim Jones style.

OPHELIA: Pretty much. Diego fought in World w*r I, and after that, all he could see was blood and v*olence in this world, so he decided to fix it.

SAM: How?

Marco: Summon a god from another dimension and start over.

OPHELIA: (quoting Diego) 'Upon us we shall call forth new gods, Yokoth and her mate Glythur. And they will cleanse this world of hate and bring a new paradise.'

MARCO: They summoned Yokoth, but didn't exactly bring paradise.

OPHELIA: It ate Diego and most everyone else. Then it tried to summon its mate before they bound it.

MARCO: Men of Letters disavowed the whole deal. It banned all the survivors, closed down the chapterhouse tight. Our grandparents, our parents, us, we've been watching over it ever since.

SAM: You mean...Sandy?

ASMODEUS: (addressing Ketch) You think you’re so high and mighty, better than the rest of us. But you, Mr. Ketch, you are more wicked than any demon I know. (He smiles.) I know ‘em all.

KETCH: At least I still have a soul.

ASMODEUS: (chuckling) What’ you think that buys you, huh? Souls are messy, all conflict and confusion.

KETCH: Well, I know who I am.

ASMODEUS: Do you? Because you say you have this code, this Men of Letters code, handed down for centuries. But wait. Wait a minute. You work for me. You act like you’re this cold-blooded k*ller. [Asmodeus crouches down in front of Ketch.] But you know what I see when I look in your eyes. Fear. And regret. And pain. I see your chewy middle, boy. You want redemption, but you ain’t never gonna get it. Your kind -- our kind -- we can’t be redeemed. All we can do is spread out pain around. So no, you don’t know who you are. But I do. Which is why no matter where you go, no matter what you do, you’re mine.

JOANNE: Are they gone? Someone -- someone should see if they’re gone?

BUCK: No. No, not happening!

SAM: You’re trying to tell me that Sandy is a god from another dimension?

OPHELIA: All she wants to do is eat.

MARCO: And breed.

SAM: Then why didn’t you k*ll it?

MARCO: You don’t think we’ve tried? As far as we know, she can’t die.

OPHELIA: So we have been keeping her locked up. Well, that is, until you came along.

MARCO: So, you know, nice work on that one.

OPHELIA: When we saw what you did, we knew that we had to get her back. So, Marco slipped something into your food.

SAM: (sarcastically) Oh, you don’t say.

OPHELIA: We have been starving Yokoth for decades, keeping her weak. But if she gets food in her belly…

MARCO: We’re all dead.

BUCK: Hey.

DEAN: Sandy?

KETCH: What are you looking at? If I had half your power, I’d…

KETCH: In fact...

KETCH: I believe it’s time to go.

KETCH: Consider this a rescue.

KETCH: Come on, you. Come one!

KETCH: Come on.

KETCH: This would all go so much faster if you just flapped your bloody wings.

WALLACE: What the hell?

KETCH: Where were we?

JOANNE: Arrrgh!

SAM: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

JOANNE: String Bean! I thought you were dead

SAM: No, not yet. Where’s my brother?

JOANNE: He came out to check on Buck.

JOANNE: It’s them.

SAM: No. Take it easy. They’re with us.

JOANNE: What?

SAM: It’s a long story.

SAM: Oh, no! No, no, no.

OPHELIA: She got food in her belly.

SAM: (frightened) Dean.

OPHELIA: If she fed on him, he would be here.

SAM: So what, then?

MARCO: It’s like we said, if she’s not feeding, she’s breeding.

DEAN: Sandy, what the hell?

YOKOTH: Sandy’s dead. She’s been dead for a long time.

DEAN: Okay. I’ll play. What’s your name?

YOKOTH: Yokoth. Star of Madness. Ravager of Galaxies. Mother of Faceless Hordes.

DEAN: Cool. Let me guess. You’re not from around here.

YOKOTH: I’m really not. When foolish humans opened the door, they had no idea what was waiting for them on the other side.

DEAN: You mean you?

YOKOTH: I mean us. It was supposed to be us. Glythur and I, together. But my love…they shut the rift before he could make it through.

DEAN: (with maximum sarcasm) Oh my God. That's tragic. It's like a Hallmark movie. But with tentacles.

YOKOTH: I like you, Dean. You’re strong. And I enjoy looking at your face.

DEAN: Whew. You’re making me blush.

YOKOTH: (grabbing Dean’s face) That’s why I’m going to allow you to be Glythur’s host.

DEAN: Sorry, what? The host?

YOKOTH: We’ve consumed most of our universe. But this one is so full of...light. And of life. And it looks... (she licks her lips with a tentacle that comes out of her mouth.) It looks delicious.

DEAN: Okay, I don’t know what kind of kinky Gatekeeper-Keymaster think you go going on here, but...I think I’ll pass.

YOKOTH: Insanidox koth munto, Glythur.

YOKOTH: Insanidox koth munto, Glythur!

OPHELIA: She has the Seal of Solomon.

YOKOTH: You can’t k*ll me!

OPHELIA:Panto koth munto!

SAM: Dean.

DEAN: Glad you could make it.

SAM: So, that’s why we came. I mean we--we--we--need the Seal to get our family back.

DEAN: If it could take us somewhere other than, uh, tentacle p*rn land -- not that there’s anything wrong with that.

MARCO: When you cast a spell, you need a guide, something that’s been where you need to go. Got it?

SAM: Got it.

OPHELIA: Careful. When you open the door it only stays open for 24 hours. And you never know what’s on the other side.

DEAN: Well, whatever it is, we’ll be ready.

OPHELIA: I hope you’re right.

SAM: You sure you’re all right?

DEAN: Considering I was about three seconds away from being an interdimensional booty call, yeah, I’d say I’m all right.

SAM: (chuckles) Well...we have the Seal. Right? So all we need now is an archangel and we’re set.

DEAN: Sure, that sounds easy.

SAM: (wryly) Yeah.

KETCH: Wait.

DEAN: Son of a bitch.

KETCH: I come in peace.

SAM: Yeah, right.

KETCH: And I brought you a gift.

SAM: (looking shocked) Wait a second. Is that….

DEAN: That Gabriel?

SAM: No,no that’s impossible. He…he’s dead. We -- we saw him die

KETCH: Or did you?

DEAN: What’d you do to him?

KETCH: Not me. Asmodeus. The Prince was holding him prisoner until I liberated the poor man. And I understand you may need an archangel for a spell, perhaps. Well, what luck.

SAM: We need his grace.

KETCH: No, no, no, no, no. Calm down. Calm down. Nervy.

KETCH: Here. Take that. And, uh

KETCH: The Archangel blade.

SAM: Why would you… What’s the catch? What do you want?

KETCH :Protection. From Asmodeus

DEAN :(suspiciously) The one you’re working for?

KETCH: Was working for. But when he finds out that I stole his prize milk cow, well, I imagine he will hunt me to the ends of the earth. So...this is the only safe place I know.

SAM: (scoffs) What? Do you think you’re gonna just move in?

KETCH: (hopefully) Dibs on the top bunk?

SAM: No.

DEAN: (speaking at the same time as Sam) Deal.

SAM: What?

DEAN: I don’t know what the hell’s going on here. But if this helps us get Mom back, helps us get Jack back then...sure. Whatever you want.

SAM: Gabriel...Man what happened to you?

DEAN: All right, let’s do this.

SAM: Well, shouldn’t we wait?

DEAN: Wait? Why? We got everything we need. Everything else is just burning daylight. Come on. Let’s open this door.

SAM: All right. I’ll gather my gear.

DEAN: Uh...hold on. I’m heading in alone.

SAM: What?

DEAN: Look, we got a busted up archangel here. And who the hell knows what else? Okay? Somebody’s gotta stay here just in case.

KETCH: And I’m coming with you. As I said, Asmodeus will be hunting to the ends of the Earth, so it’s better if I’m not on this Earth.

SAM: It’s not much better over there. You know it’s a w*r zone, right?

KETCH: Won’t be my first, shan’t be my last. Hmm.

DEAN: Fine.

SAM: Fine? (lowering his voice for Dean) So you want Ketch to go and not me?

DEAN: I don’t care if he dies. Hell, I’m kinda rooting for it.

SAM: Still, you can’t --

DEAN: No, I have to. It takes something that’s been over there to open up the right door, so that’s either you or me. So I’m gonna go. And if something happens to me, if -- if-- if time runs out, then I need you to come and save me, and save Mom, and save whoever else, okay?

SAM: It’s safer if we go together.

DEAN: Oh, there’s no such thing as safer over there. You know that. I know you don’t like this, okay? I don’t expect you to. This is the way it’s gonna be.

DEAN: Something that’s been there, right?

SAM: All right. Remember, it’s only 24 hours.

SAM: Koth Munto Notox.

DEAN: Okay.