08x06 - Return to m*rder House

[bunniefuu]

[BIRDS SINGING]

GEORGE: You have to understand,

we've had so many weirdos who just want to come in

and see this place up close.

So, I need to check on a few things,

and I'll be right back.

There is no way we pull this off.

Okay, we look like the worst possible versions of Heidi Klum and Seal.

Do you ever stop complaining?

I have a right to complain.

Okay, the council sent me here because they obviously think I'm expendable.

And I had to put khakis on, so it's been a hard day for all of us.

So maybe just shut up.

GEORGE: All right, Mr. and Mrs. James.

[CHUCKLES]

The wire transfer went through.

All you need to do now is sign.

I just can't wait to start making babies in our new home.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, before you start that, there, there are issues I legally have to make you aware of.

This house has been unoccupied for quite some time.

Over the past decade alone, there have been

an unprecedented amount of break-ins,

missing persons reports.

And, of course, the most disturbing...

You mean the people that d*ed there?

Yeah, we know.

About all of them?

Uh, what can we say?

[LAUGHS]

The wife's a sucker for a farmhouse kitchen.

Okay, but to be clear, we're not legally liable for any accidents, fatal or otherwise.

Other than that, congrats on your new home.

Yay.

Don't worry, we'll burn some sage.

[ALL LAUGH]

♪ ♪ What. A. sh*thole.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Oh, so you an obstinate house.

Just use the key.

[LOCK CLICKS]

[DOOR CREAKING]

Weird.

How long did the Realtor say this place has been empty?

It looks like someone still lives here.

Something definitely lives here.

The psychic energy is stronger than anything I've ever felt before.

This is not a home, this is a prison.

I pity the souls trapped here.

It must be hell.

I've actually been to Hell.

I promise you, this is better.

Well, I'm sensing really bad vibes.

Maybe we should go clubbing.

[SIGHS]

If you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd be hitting up my coke dealer right now.

But I got a second chance at life.

A third chance, actually.

I can't f*ck it up.

Don't forget who gave you that chance.

Do you honestly think Michael is evil?

That's what we're here to find out.

Cordelia wouldn't send us all this way for no reason.

I've never seen this spell before.

These spirits do not want to be seen by us.

We are trespassers in their home, and if we want to talk to them, we're gonna have to force them out of hiding.

Boy Supreme's family d*ed here.

If anyone has the goods on Michael, it's them.

It's the others I'm worried about.

This place is more crowded than a French youth hostel.

Who knows what we're walking into?

Okay... let's see if this works.

My powers have been off since we stepped into this place.

Monstra te spirituum.

BOTH: Monstra te spirituum.

Ne abscondas. Ne abscondas.

Ne abscondas!

[FLOOR CREAKING]

Did it work?

We're in.

[CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER ECHOING]

[GASPS]

Calm down, skinny witch.

[LAUGHING]

What the f*ck happened in this house?

[MADISON PANTING]

TATE: I've told you this a million times.

You're my psychiatrist. You're supposed to help me.

BEN: I have helped you.

We've had daily sessions going on for years now.

I feel like the only reason you're talking to me is 'cause your wife refuses to talk to you.

Let's leave her out of this.

Well, then, let's talk about your daughter.

'Cause that's what I really need your help with.

♪ Sometimes I feel I've got to run away... ♪ Violet, please, talk to me.

♪ Get away from the pain that you drive... ♪ You're the only thing I need!

It's t*rture.

Can you just talk to her?

What do you want me to say?

You set fire to your mom's boyfriend, you sh*t and k*lled over a dozen kids in high school, you helped k*ll her parents, plus you impregnated her mother.

Any one of those things would be reason enough...

I'm different now. Yeah, I'm...

You know, I'm dead and-and-and I'm hot, and I know she has feelings for me.

You're not so hot.

That's right, you can see us, and we can see you.

Who are you?

I'm Behold Chablis.

This is Madison Montgomery.

You are Ben Harmon.

You k*lled yourself in this house several years ago after your wife d*ed in childbirth.

What are you talking about?

I didn't k*ll myself.

I was m*rder*d.

What the f*ck is going on here?

We decide when we want to be seen.

Not anymore.

You're looking at two powerful witches.

And the spell we cast is just a small demonstration of what we can do.

So, if you don't want any more disruptions, you're gonna have to answer some hard questions about Michael Langdon.

What are you gonna do, make us more dead?

Even people protected by magic aren't safe in this house.

I'd watch my ass if I were you.

[SIGHS]

Look, it's really important.

Our coven bought you a g*dd*mn house so nobody will come to bother you ever again.

Sorry, you got me at a bad time, I'm busy.

You're dead.

What do you have to do?

I got to look out the window and cry while I masturbate.

It's my daily thing.

Okay, I know it's weird, but I kind of feel for the guy.

Should we try to help him?

You mean the tear jerker?

Ew, no, the other guy.

Sounds like he's stuck in a nightmare, trapped in this Amityville reject with the one thing he loves but can never have.

It's a romantic tragedy.

[BOTH SCREAM]

Aah, get the f*ck off of me!

- Be gone!

- You don't want to do that.

You'll have a house full of spirits coming after you, and they aren't all as gentle as this one.

Beau, sweetie, you want to play?

Play!

Who the hell are you?

A friend of the house and its residents.

They don't take kindly to strangers.

You ain't dead?

Oh, honey, I'm one of the few live ones they let come and go.

And you are Madison Montgomery.

Oh, have you seen my movies?

- I have fans everywhere.

- No.

I've known a few Montgomerys in my time, but it's not every day that I see a witch.

What are you?

Billie Dean Howard, medium to the stars.

So, you're like a shitty Ms. Cleo.

Excuse me?

Now, who do you think you are, coming in here, swanning around, spewing vulgarities?

We're the new owners.

Who are you?

I'm Constance Langdon.

And this... is my f*cking house.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, you two are the most unlikely pair.

But, on the plus side, your spawn will have beautiful skin.

They're witches, Constance.

It's magic, not marriage, that connects them.

They won't be moving in.

Well, now, that is disappointing.

I guess I can't expect you to go running down to the Korean to get me my Crown Royal and Virginia Slims?

You drink Crown Royal?

You're dead.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

It's true that this side of the mortal coil makes it impossible to get a good buzz going, but, well, old habits die hard.

[WOMAN CLEARS THROAT]

It's done.

As demanded, the living room has been tidied yet again.

We'll see about that.

I won't be but a moment.

It'll be more than a moment.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Do you know what this is on the tip of my finger?

It appears to be some dust that I missed.

No, it's my sense of wonder.

Why, it-it's the color of my piqued curiosity, it...

Oh, will you just get on with it?

Just because we're trapped here for eternity doesn't mean you have to jabber on forever to make a point.

Tell me, little Miss Moira, If you're going to be an old maid for all eternity, why not be a decent one, hmm?

[LAUGHS]

My real work, my avocation, if you will, isn't dusting, it's satisfying your husband in the basement.

Be careful.

My mother told me pettiness causes wrinkles.

So does cruelty.

Disappointment makes a woman bitter.

And when I think of all of the unfulfilled dreams that you left behind when you took the coward's way out, well, I guess I'd be pretty miffed at the world, too.

You ladies all right in here?

It is so hard to find good help.

That poor woman.

In a house filled with tragedy, she might be the saddest soul of all.

- Oh, shut up.

- All right.

Look, we need the hot goss on a guy who used to live here, uh, Michael Langdon.

We have nothing to say about him.

You did raise him, correct?

I said we're not talking.

Oh, pipe down, Billie.

I know more about that boy than any woman, dead or alive.

But I don't spill a drop of tea for free, kiddos.

Self-interest, hmm.

That's something I can get behind.

What do you want?

To remove that insufferable cloudy-eyed ginger from these premises permanently.

You want us to fire the help?

Well, if you really do have witchcraft at your disposal, then why don't you just abracadabra that g*dd*mn bitch out of my afterlife, huh?

Bless me with some peace and quiet.

And then we can talk about Michael all you want.

Got something!

Ah!

Nope.

Not hers.

It's got a totally different vibration.

Moira's bones would be much more morose.

You know this is ridiculous, right?

This place has more bodies buried than the catacombs in Rome.

If Constance wants us to get rid of the maid, I know a spell that can easily bind her to the closet.

She'll never have to see her again.

Keep digging.

Ah!

You have an enemy.

I'm proud to say I have many.

You can't live with virtue without getting on the bad side of those without.

Constance hates your guts.

She won't talk to us unless we put you away.

Out of sight forever.

What are you going to do to me?

[GASPS]

Oh, heavens be.

My bones.

I can't begin to thank you.

These bones are my means to escape.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

[WHISPERING]: Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, you're getting slobber on my clothes.

- [SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT]

- Moira.

You have a choice.

Where do you want to be buried?

There's only one place I've ever wanted to be.

How original, to be buried in a cemetery.

Her wish was to be close to her mother.

I want my bones to be buried at the studio.

Paramount, Stage .

I would gladly haunt the sh*t out of that place.

It's where they made me do my first nude scene.

Totally gratuitous.

I begged for a body double, but the assh*le producer wanted to get his rocks off, so...

You surprised me.

Under the facade of a heartless narcissist...

Is a stone-cold bitch.

Listen, warlock, I wouldn't think twice about slitting your throat if I thought it would get me out of that house a second sooner with the answers.

Duly warned.

[BOTH SIGH]

♪ ♪ Oh, Mother.

Your hands.

They're as beautiful as I remembered.

What's wrong?

I have to confess something.

I k*lled you.

I pulled the plug on the respirator because I couldn't bear leaving you in that horrible nursing home.

Can you ever forgive me?

Darling, I wanted to smother you with kisses.

I was in agony, and you gave me peace.

- Oh.

- Oh.

It's beautiful here.

I feel like I can finally breathe.

♪ ♪

MADISON: We did what you asked.

Moira's gone,

- so you can start any time now.

- Shh...

I was just savoring the stillness.

Not only was that woman the worst maid in God's creation, but she would never shut up.

Death only made her more verbose.

Tell us about Michael.

Well...

he was born right here in this house to a mother and a family ultimately marked for death.

[SCREAMS]

♪ ♪ When his mother d*ed

pushing him out into the world,

I gladly assumed the burden

of raising him.

You see, I-I-I am a mother myself, four times over.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Why you?

Because he also happened to be my grandson.

His father was that handsome young man in the sweater and the mop top that you saw when you first came in...

Tate.

Now I am the first to admit that, um, there were mistakes made raising Tate.



And that's why, with Michael...

Oh, my God...

He was such a perfect

little angel of light.

I thought that would be my chance for a do-over.

You see, I was born to be a mother.

I always felt that, to raise a great man,

that was the most admirable and selfless act

a woman could aspire to.

He was my destiny.

Oh, such a beautiful child,

with such a cheerful disposition.

Even when he was committing unspeakable acts.

What do you mean unspeakable?

Oh, it was trivial at first, of course, you know.

I'd find dead flies in his crib with their wings shorn off and...

And then, as he got older... small rodents.

I had seen enough Discovery Channel specials to know exactly what evolutionary tree he was shimmying up.

Bundy, Dahmer, they started with small animals, too...

until they graduated to grander things.

He said they were presents because he loved me.

Oh, and his love did flow.

And enjoyable as it was, to have a child

so committed to expressing his love for me, I did try to encourage him to find

another avenue of expression.

Still, nothing I could say

would get him to cease.

Each time I would dutifully

bury one of these gifts along with a little piece of my soul.

Well, I tried to find

a silver lining

to make lemonade out of lemons,

so every time I buried one of his presents,

I planted a rose bush on top.

You know, from death springs life eternal.

You are childless, I presume?

A skinny little thing like you would struggle to carry.

I don't really have the disposition for motherhood.

If my child wasn't cool or good-looking, there's no way I'd love it.

Well, not me.

I love them all.

It was Michael who made me realize that I was put on this earth to raise the monsters.

I never thought I would tire

of the smell of roses.

Roses had always been my favorite flower,

but soon they made me

just want to retch.

And of course then there was that incident with the sitter.

I was able to convince the authorities

that she had taken her own life.

At least I didn't have to bury that one.

Um, up until that point, I thought I was raising

a garden variety serial k*ller,

or possibly even a gifted one...

You know, with its

attendant challenges.

But then came the day when he was late

getting up for school,

so I went in to wake him.

And there was a stranger in his bed.

Well, not a stranger,

I mean, it was still my grandson,

but he'd aged a decade overnight.

Now that was something far outside the natural realm.

It was almost as if he was

in a hurry to get somewhere,

age-wise, know what I mean?

[CHOKING]

You don't tell me what to do anymore.

[GASPING]

Grandma?

[CRYING]: Oh.

I'm-I'm sorry.

Can I have a glass of water?

[STAMMERS]

M-M...

May

I?

M...

May I?

Yes.

Yes, you may.

[CRYING]

When you look at men of significance,

you know, like artists or world leaders,

inventors, they have all had

their particular peccadilloes on their road to the top, haven't they?

But aging ten years overnight...

...that called for sacred intervention.

[GAME DEVICE CHIMING]

I had to accept that once again,

my days as a mother were at an end.

I have been burdened with heartbreak my whole life.

Broken dreams, broken promises, broken marriages.

But this one...

[LAUGHS]

...this one shattered me beyond recovery.

Michael had made me believe

that my presence here meant something.

That I mattered.

[SNIFFLES]

But I was just an invisible step along the path.

He was done with me.

Honestly, I think that...

if I had corrected his grammar one more time, he would've just slit my throat.

Like the help.

I wasn't going to give him or any man the satisfaction.

I have always lived my life

on my own terms.

So I came here.

A prison, yes.

But one where I knew the rules, and more importantly...

["YOU'RE GONNA MISS ME" BY CONNIE FRANCIS PLAYING]

...where I knew the company.

♪ ♪

♪ One kiss ♪

♪ One little sigh... ♪

Bottle of whiskey and a fenny chaser.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Ooh, that's what I call a bon voyage.

♪ Someday, baby, someday, darling ♪

♪ You're gonna miss me ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ Long gone ♪

♪ Is your caress ♪

♪ And with it ♪

♪ All of my happiness ♪

♪ But someday, baby ♪

♪ Someday, darling ♪

♪ You're gonna miss me ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Yes. ♪

I awoke to find myself

surrounded by my precious children.

Well, minus my beloved Addie.

God rest her soul.

But the others were there.

All of them.

With me, forever.

And that is the real reason

I bound my soul to this place.

Because, like I said earlier,

I was born to be a mother.

Why not die to be one, too?

As for my grandson...

I never wanted to see him again.

Well, there it is.

[EXHALES]

The whole story.

Was it everything you dreamed of, witchypoos?

GIRL: Mommy.

Yes, my darling?

It's almost tea time.

Of course it is, my little beauty queen.

How foolish of me.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Well, now.

You'll have to excuse me now.

My family calls.

Let's go.

[MOANING]

[FLOOR CREAKS]

[CRYING]

You gonna be much longer, DILF?

What the hell?

People don't knock anymore?

We still need to talk to you about Michael.

BEHOLD: We're leaving no stone unturned.

I still have nothing to say to you.

Now get out.

What if we were to fix it so you didn't have to do that anymore?

Stand at the window, crying, while you double-click your mouse?

You could do that?

You can make the impulse stop?

Actually, it's only the crying part I can live without.

The day Constance d*ed was when I first saw my son.

Grandma?

Grandma!

Grandma?

[CRYING]: No.

Grandma.

Hey.

Hey, wake up.

Hey, wake up.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's all my fault.

Hey.

Grandma.

BEN: The spirits in this house can't be seen unless they want to be seen.

She doesn't want to see me?

I'm sorry.

Who are you?

Someone who wants to be seen.

Someone who wants to help.

If you really want to change, I think I can show you how.

I'm a monster.

Why would you want to help me?

Because I can't help but think of you as my son.

Even though you're not, really.

And so we started talking, doctor to patient,

on that very day.

He wanted to be good, desperately.

I could see in his eyes how much he needed me.

♪ ♪ I wanted him to have all the simple joys

he never had without a real father to show him how.

♪ To somebody new... ♪ He was brilliant, off the charts.

His brain always seemed five steps ahead of everyone else.

♪ Although... ♪ The more time I spent with him,

the more I began to feel like a father to this boy.

♪ You're a part of my heart... ♪ Everything in this house was dead.

My wife,

My baby was never going to grow up.

Violet was never going to get married.

But Michael was alive,

the only light to come out of all this.

I wanted to give him everything.

♪ It will seem once more just to... ♪ What are you doing?

Stay away from my sh*t.

- He was just exploring.

- He's f*cked-up.

You stay away from my sh*t, you understand?

Well, I just want to be like you, Dad.

Who told you that?

Other spirits.

They whispered to me.

You didn't spring from my nutsack, got it?

Not even I could create something as monstrous, as evil, as you.

You stay away from me.

BEN: I could see him turning away.

Turning to the dark side.

And it was about to get worse.

The darkness was always on the edges.

Encroaching.

It's impossible to avoid in this house.

What are you doing?

Giving her a smile.

The things you have to do to be a star.

BEN: I was losing him.

And then the house sold.

[ENGINE RECEDING]

- Ooh...

- Hey.

That's it, baby.

- We did it.

- Okay.

- Last one.

- Okay.

All right, here we go.

Ooh!

- [Kn*fe SLICES]

- [WOMEN SCREAMING]

No, no, no, no!

[PANTING]

Those were good people.

They deserved a chance.

They don't belong here.

Because of what you did, they'll be here forever.

[WHIMPERS]

GRACE: What's happening?

I don't feel right.

You didn't have to k*ll them.

I know you.

This isn't who you are.

[GRACE AND ELIZABETH SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

I never could have helped you.

It was foolish to try.

Michael didn't just k*ll those women.

He made them cease to exist.

He m*rder*d their bodies and then destroyed their souls.

f*ck.

So basically, our new Supreme is pretty much pure evil.

We should go.

Cordelia will know what to do.

How to get rid of him.

It won't be so easy.

Vivien.

Ben.

Are we speaking again?

I don't know yet.

Every haunted house has a cold spot, and I think we just found it.

I never stopped loving you.

I know.

But I never stopped hating him.

And I couldn't forgive you for needing Michael.

Although, just now, I'm starting to realize maybe you never had a choice.

[BABY CRYING]

Your son needs you, Ben.

He needs his father.

[BABY CONTINUES CRYING]

What you're dealing with here is not just evil.

Michael is not just a bad witch for you to exterminate.

What is that supposed to mean?

"Then I saw a beast with ten horns and seven heads rising out of the sea and all who dwell on the Earth will worship Him." Nothing about Michael is natural to me, not his birth, not his appearance.

I kept away from him at first because it was painful.

And then strange things started to happen.

A m*rder of crows would encircle the house every day.

Inside it was sweltering hot.

And then they came.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

"And the son became black as sackcloth with hair, and the whole moon became as blood...

and the stars fell from the Heaven to the Earth for the great day of wrath is come." [GASPS]

I am in the presence of my Lord.

Who are you?

I am Anton LaVey, Black Pope of the Church of Satan, and these are my cardinals.

I faked my death to prepare for this day.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

What's going on here?

We followed a dark star from the west.

The signs are impossible to miss: the temperature in this house, a home built over the portal to Hell, and the crows worshipping from above.

The omens are complete.

You're the chosen one.

The time has come to remove the scales from your eyes, to show you your true power.

VIVIEN: Something changed in Michael.

It was like they opened a door and they showed him his true path.

Why didn't you stop them?

I think I thought it was a joke.

I mean, they were lost souls following a con man from some pathetic circus.

That's what it seemed like to me.

That is, until the Black Mass.

Oh, dear child, you must be freezing.

Hop in.

I'll give you a ride.

Thank you.

["[DON'T FEAR]

THE REAPER" BY BLUE OYSTER CULT PLAYING]

You're a lifesaver.

I'm just a couple miles up Riverside.

♪ They're gone ♪ ♪ Seasons don't fear the reaper ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la...

♪ You know something, I...

I think I'd rather walk.

It's not going to be possible.

[WHIMPERS]

But it's such a lovely night.

Isn't it?

For what?

m*rder.

[MOANING]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[FOOTFALLS APPROACHING]

[GASPING]

[CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

For you, Michael.

It's all for you.

Hail Satan!

[SHOUTS]

[SCREAMING]

LaVEY: Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

♪ ♪ [CARL ORFF'S "O FORTUNA" PLAYING]

Ave Satanas.

♪ ♪ Father.

I am with you now.

VIVIEN: That night was a terrible storm.

Hail as big as rocks,

rain of blood.

It was then that I made the decision to k*ll him.

♪ ♪ [VIVIEN SCREAMS]

Tate saved me.

And after we put the fire out, Michael was gone.

I don't know where he went.

I don't know who raised him after he left.

The only thing I know is, Ben is not his father, nor is Tate.

He was born from the evil of this house.

The source of darkness is his true father, and he is here to destroy the world.

BEHOLD: Madison.

Madison.

Look, I know it sucks that the guy you put your hopes into turned out to be the Antichrist, but you are not stopping me from telling the council.

I wasn't gonna stop you.

I never would have fought for Michael to be Supreme if I had any idea about who he truly is.

We just wanted a leader.

But he is clearly not that.

What if we can't stop him?

What happens then?

I don't know.

[SOFT CRYING]

[CRYING]

Give me a second.

If you want to ask me about Michael, I can't help you.

I stayed clear of him.

Probably a good call.

I think we got enough on him, anyway.

Then what do you want?

Seems like you're having a hard time.

You and that Tate guy have a real angsty thing going on.

We don't have anything.

We can't.

He's a monster.

He didn't seem like a monster to me.

You don't know him.

You can't imagine what it's like to know all of the horrible things he's done.

And still be in love with him?

It's t*rture...

every day.

I've done some bad things I'm not exactly proud of in my life and my second life.

But those were my choices.

I think what happened to Tate was different.

He wasn't the real evil here.

What does that even mean?

It's like this house used him as a vessel to create something way, way worse.

My guess: any evil inside Tate left with Michael.

It would be nice if that were true.

Maybe you just need to see the truth for yourself.

♪ ♪ Tate?

You saved my mom.

I'm so sorry for everything.

I...

I know.

["SPIRITS IN THE MATERIAL WORLD" BY THE POLICE PLAYING]

♪ There is no political solution ♪

♪ To our troubled evolution... ♪

You're really nothing but a softie, aren't you?

[SCOFFS]

Whatever.

I just thought I'd help two ghosts get laid.

At least someone's gonna get a happy ever after.

There's not gonna be an ever after for anyone if we don't find a way to stop Michael.

♪ We are spirits in the material world ♪

♪ Are spirits in the material world ♪

♪ Are spirits in the material world ♪

♪ Are spirits in the material world. ♪