03x25 - Boo Normal (Bonus Episode)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lucifer". Aired: January 2016 to present.*

Moderator: Kaelline

Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
Post Reply

03x25 - Boo Normal (Bonus Episode)

Post by bunniefuu »

["SHINE ON ME" BY DAN AUERBACH PLAYING]

♪ You only got a couple miles to go ♪ ♪ If you're trying to drive me insane ♪ ♪ Shine on me...

ELLA: Hey. How's it going, Frank? You still kicking that hernia's butt?

Nice.

Morning, Jane.

Talk about a buzzer-beater last night, am I right?

Bam!

ELLA: Hey, guys.

Morning.

- Oh, I like your hair today.

- Thank you.

ELLA: Tough break, Beth.But we're gonna figure out what happened to you.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING]

Hey, little brother.

You did what?

They said that?

Well, that's never gonna happen.

Seriously?

Fine, okay.

[CAMERA CLICKING]

- [LAUGHS]

ELLA: Dude. What are you doing?

LUCIFER: Well, this macro lens gets so much more detail - than my phone camera does.

ELLA: Gross.

Oh, someone's a crabby-pants today.

How's it going, Ella?

ELLA: Couldn't be better.

Really?

ELLA: Sorry, my brother just called.

Ah, right.

Well, family are the worst.

- Crab away.

ELLA: Well, apparently, uh, my brother moved back to Detroit a week ago. And did he bother to give me a heads-up? Uh, no, señor. Not to mention that he's the reason I moved out to L.A. in the first place. And now my whole family wants me to move back home, too.

CHLOE: Are you considering moving back home?

ELLA: Well, I mean, you guys know how much I love it here, but... they're my family. So, you know, yeah.

CHLOE: Well, Ella, you know, I'm... I'm trying to be supportive, but...

LUCIFER: Well, I'm not. Don't you dare go.

ELLA: I may not have a choice.

Everyone has a choice, Ms. Lo...

Anyhoo, um, so much going on here.

- Let me show you.

- Mm-hmm.

This right here is Dr.

Beth Daly, child psychiatrist.

CHLOE: Looks like blunt force trauma.

Someone hit her over the head?

ELLA: Yes, and yes, but there's so much more to it than that. From what I can tell, the k*ller was standing here when they grabbed their m*rder w*apon. You see this spot in the dust, right here?
Fallen books, and only one bookend.

So she was k*lled with the missing bookend?

ELLA: Mm, yes and no.

So the bookend...

[IMITATES IMPACT]

made her woozy, right? And then, she stumbled, slipped on this toy train, grabbed this chair, fell back, hit her head on this table and bang, that's what k*lled her.

Oh, bravo, Ms. Lopez.

See, that's another reason why you shouldn't leave. Crime scenes would be so dull without you.

ELLA: Thank you. But wait, there's more.

- There always is.

ELLA: I found a weird clump of hair under Beth's nails. It's all gunky, too.

- Is that blood?

ELLA: Mm, I can't really tell yet, there's not enough of it. I got to get it back to the lab.

CHLOE: Hmm.

Oh.

Well, looks like there's a smear here, like somebody tried to wipe away some blood.

ELLA: Good eye.

I'm thinking maybe the girl who called it in?

Yeah.

Beckett Wilson.

She was the doctor's next patient.

She found the body, she was pretty shaken up.

Talk about shock therapy.

Well, I mean, wiping blood off the wound is consistent with someone who cares about the victim.

Well, Dan took Beckett to the precinct to calm her down, so I'll go check in with them.

Okay, and I'll check in with the lab, - see if they can rush this hair.

- Great.

All right.

I will check in with the nearest pharmacy.

DAN: No, she still isn't talking.

Poor kid's pretty traumatized.

No, I don't see any blood on her hands or her clothes.

I'll ask her.

Bye.

[BEEPS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey, Beckett?

When you found the body, did you maybe try to wipe up any blood?

I don't think I did.

But it's all so fuzzy.

Hey, it's okay.

[SNIFFLES]

We'll just talk later.

Is there anything I can do now?

[SNIFFLES]

A Slurpee would be nice.

A Slurpee it is.

- See you, Frank.

- You, too.

What's this?

ANTHONY: You don't possibly think my son could've done this.

No, Mr. Rodriguez, Felix is not a suspect.

He doesn't fit the forensic's profile.

However, we did look at Beth's appointment book, and he was scheduled for much earlier this morning.

So do you have any idea why he was still here?

Of course, I do.

He brought his violin to his appointment this morning, and he left it there.

The office isn't far from our house, so I let him ride his bike back to get it.

Well, we think Felix got here shortly after Beth was k*lled.

So we'd like to speak to him, see if he saw anything.

Well, that might be tough.

Uh, Felix is... shy.

He struggles with communication, social skills.

- That's why he was seeing Dr. Beth.

- Mm.

I don't know what we're gonna do without her.

I mean, she's helped Felix so much.

He's thriving in school, he's got all kinds of new friends and-and interests.

He's like a totally different kid.

He's just still not very open with strangers.

I see.

Hey, buddy.

Can I help you get that off?

You know, when I was about your age, I was in a car accident.

It was pretty bad.

I saw lots and lots of blood.

I know how scary it can be.

But you're gonna be okay.

I promise.

[WHISPERS]: I didn't see who did it.

Okay.

Thanks for telling me.

Oh, my gosh, mijito, are you okay?

- What happened?

- Hey, let's just get Felix home right now.

I'll explain everything when we've all calmed down.

Here's my card.

If Felix thinks of anything else, or mentions anything, please, feel free to call me.

- All right.

- Thank you.

Well, aren't you a little strange one?

WOMAN [WHISPERING]: I know you are, but what am I?

ELLA: Ray-Ray?What are you doing here?

AZRAEL: Now, is that any way to greet one of your oldest friends?

ELLA: Okay, hi. We kind of sort of agreed to never see each other again.

AZRAEL: Did we? I don't remember putting such a fine point on it.

ELLA: We did, we did. Super fine. Five years ago, in Detroit? I know you remember.

AZRAEL: Look, I'm sorry. I just... I miss you.

ELLA: Okay, it's not that I don't miss you, too, okay? I just thought that this part of my life was over. The part with you in it. It's just... it's a little too weird. Okay? So please, just go away. Just...

Hey, sorry, uh, should I come back another time?

No.

Good.

I'm all good.

Are you sure?

ELLA: Yeah. Yeah, I'm-I'm fantastic, actually, just, you know, talking to myself.

Mm-hmm.

You sure you're fine?

ELLA: Fantastic, actually, you know, just talking to myself. Uh, uh, to this evidence.

Wish it would just go away.

[CHUCKLES]

Wish it would go away, why?

Because it just showed up out of nowhere.

Just... poof.

- What?

ELLA: Yeah, so, you remember that, um, weird clump of hair that I found on the vic? Well, it turns out that it's a synthetic fur, used to make anything from carpets to, uh, plush toys.

Okay, but it was found under Beth's nails, right?

Which still implies a struggle.

And there was blood on it?

ELLA: Nope. Turns out that it was ketchup. Even though there wasn't a scrap of food in the joint. So, uh, like I said, it just came out of nowhere. Do you see why it's so annoying?

Okay, I'm gonna go search Beth's house. Maybe I'll find a match to the fur there.

ELLA: Great. Uh, I'll join you.

AZRAEL: You're trying to avoid me, aren't you?

ELLA: Nope. No, I am not. La, la, la, la...

AZRAEL: Come on, Ellz, let's just hang for a little bit.

ELLA: No. You're a ghost. [SIGHS]

AZRAEL: Not to be biased, but ghosts are pretty frickin' cool, and you being able to see them makes you extra frickin' special.

ELLA: Okay, first of all, I see a ghost... a ghost... you. And yes, as a kid, I did feel special, okay? But special or not, it's not normal.

AZRAEL: And since when do you care about that? Normal is boring.

ELLA: Since Detroit. We agreed, both of us, that this wasn't good for me anymore, okay? I really like who I am in L.A. I'm just this super happy open book. It feels really, really good to have no secrets.

AZRAEL: Okay, then, tell everyone about me. Don't hide your Ray-Ray of light under a bushel, baby.

ELLA: Yeah, I tried that, remember? Remember Laurie Dupont's slumber party, when they wrote "weirdo" on me in shaving cream? Remember that time that that shrink thought that I was legitimately crazy and put me on all those meds? We can't be friends, okay? It's just... it's too hard.
Anyway, I have to get back to work.

AZRAEL: Wait. I... okay, uh, I didn't want to say this, but the reason why I'm here is to help you with, you know, work stuff.

ELLA: Why would a ghost want to help me with work stuff? Ooh. Do you know the victim?

AZRAEL: Like-like, from the ghost world? Yeah, I do.

ELLA: Okay, so why didn't you lead with that?

AZRAEL: Uh, ghost rules. Um, can't share stuff that you don't already know from the living world.

ELLA: Ghost rules? You've never mentioned "ghost rules" before.

AZRAEL: Well, you know, I-I never had to.

ELLA: Okay, fine, so when this case is over, you will go away again? Fine, you can come with me, okay? But just lay low.

AZRAEL: Cool, man, you won't even notice I'm here.

Okay.

I looked away for one second, man.

How could I possibly know what she was planning?

Uh, let me get this straight, you were tasked with escorting the young lady to the precinct and she ran away with your phone.

- Yes, with my phone.

- Ooh!

Clearly, Beckett manipulated me, which means she wasn't really upset and could actually know more about this m*rder than we thought.

Daniel, this is monumentally asinine, even for you.

Oh, thanks, man.

I appreciate that.

And yes, I know, it's bad, it's really bad.

I got to find that girl, Lucifer.

And I-I wouldn't be here if I wasn't desperate, so...

you gonna help me or not?

Of course, Daniel.

- You gonna make fun of me all day?

- Of course, Daniel.

Great.

♪ ♪ ♪ Whoo, hoo, hoo... ♪

Dang. Crown molding, open floor plans. I mean... [GASPS]
L.A. architecture is amazing.

Shh!

I didn't say anything.

Oh, um, no, no, no, I-I stubbed my toe. Shh-ouch.

Okay.

I'll-I'll take upstairs, you take down here.

- Okay. All right. Okay, ground rules. No speaking unless spoken to. And in general, just don't be creepy.

AZRAEL: So no more watching you shower? Okay, geez, I was kidding.

[SIGHS]

ELLA: Holy crap. Look.

AZRAEL: Dude, weren't you into that?

ELLA: I was into cosplay actually.

AZRAEL: Right. Hard to keep track of all your hobbies.

ELLA: Uh, yeah, I had all those hobbies to distract myself from the voice in my head, aka you.
Can you please just give me some space?

- Geez, no Ella love today.

ELLA: Oh, no. I-I was just... Look what I found.

Uh... What is that? Like, a mascot?

No, it's a furry suit. I know, furries get a bad rap, but they're almost never sexual. I mean, most of the time, totally wholesome.

If that's what you were thinking.

I'm thinking that's a big stain.

A hundred bucks it's ketchup.

[SNIFFS]

Which means Beth was wearing this probably shortly before she d*ed.

Also means that that fur clue doesn't lead to a suspect.

I found something that might.

Listen to this.

[BEEPS]

WOMAN: That's it, Beth.

I'm gonna be the only one with Wesley tomorrow night at SCC.

He's mine.

This ends now.

Geez, thr*aten much?

Yeah, Beth and this woman were fighting over some guy named Wesley.

That's a solid motive, but I checked the number, it's blocked.

No worries.

She said SCC.

I know exactly where to find her.

["OBSESSED" BY DANGER TWINS PLAYING]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I'm officially obsessed ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm officially obsessed ♪

♪ Can't get it out of my head... ♪

CHLOE: I don't think this is gonna work, guys.

ELLA: Just ask someone if they know Wesley.

♪ I'm all about it... ♪

- Pardon me.

- [SQUEALS]

- Do you know anyone named Wesley?

- [SQUEALS]

♪ Yeah, I'm officially obsessed ♪

♪ Can't get it out of my head... ♪

Yeah, definitely not sure this is gonna work.

Hey.

Could you ask Beth to describe this Wesley dude that she was trying to steal?

AZRAEL: Um, I think that actually falls under ghost rule no-nos.

Ray-Ray, come on. This is important. And you said that you wanted to help your friend.

AZRAEL: Yeah, okay. [CLEARS THROAT] Let me see if I can, uh, communicate with her.

[HUMMING]

Yeah.

AZRAEL: Dang. Ugh. I can't seem to get through.

What do you mean?

AZRAEL: Uh, there must be some kind of, like, a cell phone tower or something.

Seriously? You don't know Beth at all, do you? How could you lie to me, Ray-Ray?

Okay, the reason why I'm here is... personal.

- Personal how?

Let's just say I have some unfinished business.

Wait a second. Does Beth's death have something to do with why you're still roaming the earth?

Yes, actually.

If solving this case will somehow help you finally cross over to the other side, then let's do this. You'll be at peace, and so will I.

Excuse me. Do you know anyone named Wesley?

Oh, no, I ain't getting anywhere near that drama.

WOMAN: This is the last time!

CHLOE: Hey, what are you doing?

["THE HUNGRY WOLF" BY X PLAYING]

♪ I am the hungry wolf ♪

[BOTH SHOUTING]

♪ And run endlessly with my mate... ♪

[BOTH SHOUTING]

Oh, snap!

♪ Outrun and k*ll the strong ♪

♪ At daybreak I roam ♪

♪ Awake to who follows me, I roam, I roam... ♪

Chloe!

WOMAN: Get off of me!

LAPD.

You're under arrest.

Look, we get it.

Jealousy can make people do crazy things.

Whoever this Wesley is, he's obviously important to you.

Important enough to leave threatening messages and who knows what else.

Wesley isn't a guy.

He's my fursona.

Huh?

Wesley Wolf is my O.C.

Original character.

And Beth completely copied it.

That is a major transgression in our community.

So Beth stole from you.

That's still motive for m*rder.

No.

I tried reasoning with Beth the very first night of the convention, but she denied stealing Wesley.

[STAMMERS]

It was infuriating.

I was upset, yes.

I even threw ketchup on her.

But I realized there was no point in arguing.

She wasn't listening.

I just think that Beth was addicted to conflict.

- Why do you say that?

- When I talked to her, she mentioned that she had just gotten into a fight

- with some other guy in her office.

- Did she mention who?

- Mm-mm.

- Okay.

Well, where were you this morning at : a.m.?

I was at the convention, leading a seminar on building your fursona's backstory.

Is that a thing?

How would I know?

I'm a normie... normal person.

- Totally normal.

- Mm-hmm.

Right.

AZRAEL: Boo normal.Hey, Ellz, check it out.

["OVER AND OVER AND OVER" BY JACK WHITE PLAYING]

Over and over

♪ I think, therefore I die ♪

♪ The anxiety and I rolling down a mountain ♪

Over and over.

It's amazing this modern technology.

Who'd have thought I could track your phone using my phone.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, by the way, J- , Daniel.

J...

What is that?

It's where we parked the car.

I thought I'd remind you 'cause I know you like to lose things.

- You're hilarious.

- I know.

Let's just find the girl and get the hell out of here, okay?

I hate these places.

What?

Women on adrenaline highs, massive potential for wardrobe malfunctions.

Please tell me you're not that boring.

I'm not boring.

Look, I used to love roller coasters, okay?

Until I was .

I took Suzy Jeffreys to our park back home.

- She was the prettiest girl in town.

- Oh.

Took her to the Cyclone, wanted to impress her.

I have no idea why I decided to eat all those damn chili dogs.

Well, looks like you might be able to relive that lovely experience today, Daniel.

What do you mean?

[SIGHS]

DAN: Beckett's on that?

- Of course.

- Hmm, it's high, isn't it?

Beckett?

You having fun?

On the, uh, scariest ride in the park?

I just needed to calm down after everything I saw.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Kind of.

Stop her!

Somebody stop her!

Ah.

Where do you think you're going?

Don't worry, Daniel.

I've got her.

Uh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Ah!

Here we go.

Oh, boy.

[SCREAMING]

- So, uh, what you doing here?

- Well... With new information, like this supposed fight Beth had, I often come back to the crime scene with fresh eyes.

AZRAEL: Man, you must love going to the beach. We should, uh, hit the old sandbox after we crush this case.

Uh, once we crush this case, you're crossing over. Right? You're still lying. You don't care about this case, do you? Well, you know what? I care. I care a lot. And I don't know why you're here, Ray-Ray.
All right? I-I think it's time that you leave.

I'm not lying. I-I am here for personal, unfinished business. It's just not about the case. It's about you.

Really?

I know I agreed to stay away, but, you know, sometimes I, uh, sort of check up on you.

So much for boundaries.

AZRAEL: Boo normal.Hey, Ellz, check it out. And I heard you talking to your brother on the phone. I know you're thinking about moving back to Detroit.

ELLA: I knew it. You're here to convince me to move back home, aren't you?

AZRAEL: No, actually, the exact opposite because moving back to Detroit is a terrible idea.

ELLA: Okay. That explains all the talk about how great L.A. is, but why?

AZRAEL: Because your freaking leech brothers live there.

ELLA: Hey. No one insults my family, except for me. And they need me.

AZRAEL: They don't need you. They use you. And the people out here, they see how kind you are, but they don't take advantage of you.

The people out here don't know everything about me, okay? They don't know about you, but my family does. They know and they still love me.

AZRAEL: You know, the way I look at it is you've always looked out for everybody, but I think you deserve someone looking out for you for once.

Well, that is a very sweet thing to say. And I guess I'm 1% less irritated that you lied. So is that the real reason you're here? To tell me not to move back home?

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

Okay, that was not me.

Uh...

[WHISPERING]: Why are you hiding? Nobody can see you.

[BROOMSTICK RATTLES]

[WHISPERING]: Nice one.

[GROANS]

Okay.

[GRUNTING]

AZRAEL: Now kick him in the nards! You let him get away.

Nope. I got him right here.

Lovely, I love the, uh... it really accentuates your...

Oh, my.
Daniel.

Did you have fun?

Chili dog or not, I hate roller coasters, so thank you.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

- Thank you.

[LAUGHS]

- [DAN GROANS]

Yes, Gemma here gave me a great deal.

for the price of .

So there's enough for everyone at the precinct.

Where's... where's Beckett?

Oh, that little girl is so helpful.

She's the one who introduced me to Gemma, actually.

Yeah, she just ran off to get us a couple of churro...

Oh.

[DAN LAUGHING]

In your face.

She read you like a book.

All day long you're making fun of me for getting duped by a kid

- and you lost her, too.

- [CHUCKLES]

You lost her.

Oh, that's bad.

This is really bad.

Daniel, you don't happen to have my car keys on you, do you?

What?

She took my badge.

Oh.

Well...

good news is at least I got your phone back.

_ BOTH: That little bitch.

Fingerprints on the broom are too smudged to I.D.

All I got were traces of chalk and rosin.

Rosin?

Yeah, a substance with, like, a gajillion uses: adhesives, soap, chewing gum, hard to narrow down.

I think I got something.

This is surveillance footage from the traffic light near Beth's office.

This car sped away after your tussle with that man and was there during the fight that Iris told us about.

- Sweet.

- Sweet.

Who is it?

Well, the license plate and the driver aren't visible, but we do have this.

It's a bumper sticker from Rancho Middle School where Felix and Beckett attend.

Chalk on the broom.

I-It could be a teacher.

- I know.

- Hmm?

We know that there was chalk on the broom, right?

Could be a teacher.

Mm, maybe, but which one?

Well, you know what else rosin is used for?

A violin bow.

Didn't Felix leave his violin in Beth's office?

Look up the music teacher.

CHLOE: There he is, Jonathan Burke.

You're good.

[LAUGHS]

Okay.

Yes, I-I was in Beth's office, but I'm really sorry I scared you.

What were you trying to do?

Destroy evidence that you m*rder*d Beth?!

No, no.

I was, um, I was going to retrieve this.

A check for five grand.

I was worried that it would lead the police to me.

What was the money for?

Felix is my best student.

He's the best student I've ever seen.

The kid is destined for stardom.

I was hoping that he'd take me with him.

So, what?

You were trying to bribe Beth because she was helping him to spend less time on violin and be more social?

The opposite.

Beth recommended that he play more.

Start homeschooling and take private lessons, leaving me behind.

So you were trying to bribe her to change that recommendation.

It still sounds like motive.

- Well, I have an alibi.

- Mm.

I was teaching ninth-grade chamber class when Beth was m*rder*d.

You-you can call the school.

If that's actually true, then we're back to bupkes.

Unless Dan got a lead from Beckett.

Beckett Wilson?

Well, it figures that she'd be involved.

She a student of yours?

Was.

The kid's a nightmare.

I nearly ran her over this morning on her scooter.

She was ditching first period.

Where are Beckett and Dan, anyhow?


- [TIRES SCREECHING]

- What, Beckett?

Yup.

I'm looking right at her.

Dan, where are you?

You were supposed to be at the precinct hours ago.

I... uh, yeah.

- Sorry.

Battery.

- [PHONE BEEPS]

[PANTING]: What, you couldn't run?

I mean, it is your car.

Oh, I'll get it back, unlike your dignity.

I make mistakes, man.

But guess what?

So do you.

You're not perfect, you know.

- [CHUCKLES]

- You know what, man?

It's a big deal now.

All right?

I just talked to Chloe.

Beckett, she's a suspect.

So we got to call in some backup.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And I think we both know who's best at hunting down humans.

No.

No.

What'd you two idiots do now?

Um...

[LAUGHS]

Let me get this straight.

So, you lost a -year-old kid and she stole your badge and your car?

[LAUGHS]

It's annoying, isn't it?

Well, it is when she does it.

[SIGHS]

Listen, Maze, I know t*rture's your thing, but are you gonna help us or not?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I have got to meet this kid.

Excellent.

♪ Ooh, ooh, la, la, la, la... ♪

Lucifer said to put it on his tab.

How old are you?

This old.

- [BECKETT SHOUTS]

- Maze.

- Stop!

- Easy, easy.

- She's a minor.

- No, no, not easy, Daniel.

This little hellion deserves to be punished.

Okay, now I'm seriously traumatized.

Ow!

Maze, let-let her go.

Come here.

Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?

This is serious, Beckett.

You're a m*rder suspect.

What?

I-I didn't k*ll anyone.

Truth is, I didn't really see much, either.

I just said I did so I could skip class.

[LAUGHS]

I'm in major trouble, huh?

Look, Beckett... everyone makes mistakes.

As long as we learn from them and we try hard to fix them.

Now tell me the truth from the beginning.

♪ God only knows... ♪

- So Beckett was lying?

- DAN: Yes, ma'am.

At the time of the m*rder, she was hustling some guy named Rocco at a pool hall.

It checks out.

That's quite an act she was putting on at the crime scene.

Right.

That's the other thing.

Turns out Beckett's tears weren't entirely fake.

I guess she's, uh, allergic to fragrance, freesia?

She said Beth's office reeked of perfume when she found her dead.

Perfume.

All right.

Thanks, Dan.

[CLEARS THROAT]

So, I didn't exactly tell Chloe the whole story.

Ah, no need.

We all make mistakes.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Hey, Ella.

ELLA: Oh!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sorry.

I'm a little jumpy today.

I noticed.

What's going on?

ELLA: What would you say if I told you that I...am thinking of, um, new hobby. Collecting protractors or Star Trek phasers. Which do you think is cooler?

Um, well, I think they're both really cool, but... I know that it's probably really hard thinking about moving home and I don't know. Do you-you want to talk about it?

Okay, well, I'm here if you do and I completely understand if you need to be around your family.

Absolutely.

But, Ella, this place, all of us, we won't be the same if you leave. I mean, I know I won't be.

ELLA: Thanks. Uh, so, what's up? Okay, so I just got off the phone with Dan and I think I know who our next suspect is.

Um, I'll catch up with you in a minute.

Okay.

Just say it.

AZRAEL:I understand why you chickened out.
It was too risky, okay? You do?

Yeah.

AZRAEL: You're afraid that people, even nice people, wouldn't accept people who talk to dead people. But...

ELLA: No but. Okay? You don't know what it's like to tell someone the truth and have them look at you with pity in their eyes like you're crazy. And if my friends here ever looked at me like that, it would break my heart.

AZRAEL: I think your coworkers here are real friends, like Chloe...

ELLA: Chloe is the nicest person ever. Okay? But she's all about things that she can see and prove and I don't think that she'd get it. And the truth is, I don't want to give her the chance not to.
Ray-Ray. The neighbors have a construction dumpster. Holy smokes.

You know, I love your perfume.

What is that?

Freesia?

- Yes.

Thank you.

- That music, it's beautiful.

You must be so proud of Felix.

He's so talented.

- Well, he never puts that violin down.

CHLOE: Really? My daughter, she goes through interests like candy. I can't get her to commit to anything.

Commitment has never been Felix's problem.

He loves his violin.

Once, he walked out the door without pants, but he still had his violin.

[BOTH LAUGH]

So, he would never leave it behind, like at a therapist's office?

Oh, God no.

He sleeps with the thing.

CHLOE: Hmm. And how did you feel when Beth recommended that Felix do homeschooling so he could play violin full-time?

I'm sorry, but that's not right.

Um, Beth recommended that Felix stay in his school.

In fact, she was encouraging him to branch out with new activities.

At least, that's what Anthony told me.

And where is Anthony now?

AZRAEL: What the heck are you doing?

ELLA: Where would you hide a m*rder w*apon? Not in your trash. That is way too easy. Your neighbor's trash, maybe. But a construction dumpster? Perfect.

AZRAEL: You're really good at this stuff, you know. Even though it is, um, gross.

Yeah. I mean, this is my thang! And you know what they say. One man's trash is a forensic scientist's treasure. One m*rder w*apon, with dried blood from the victim to boot.

- [DUMPSTER CLANGS]

AZRAEL: Duck!

I really wish you hadn't found that.

CHLOE: Freeze!

Lower the bat, Anthony.

It's over.

We know Felix didn't leave his violin at Beth's.

He followed you there, and has been covering for you ever since.

You don't understand.

I sent Felix to Beth to help him, not make him worse.

He doesn't have any friends.

He doesn't have a life.

"Play the violin more." That's not normal.

ELLA: You're right, that's not normal. It's amazing. And that's what makes him special.

CHLOE: Put your hands behind your back.

[DROPS BAT]

Thanks.

[SIGHS]

ELLA: I see ghosts. Well, more like "ghost." I see one ghost.

Okay, um... I think I'm gonna need a bit more.

ELLA: Okay, so... when I was eight years old, I was in a really, really bad car wreck. And-and that's when I saw her for the first time. And at first, I thought she was just a figment of my imagination, from the trauma. But she kept coming back. And-and-and then I thought she was just an imaginary friend. But as I got older, I realized that she wasn't imaginary, she was real, because she felt so... so real to me. And that's when she told me she was a ghost. So I have a friend who's a ghost. Or at least... at least I hope that's what she is, 'cause if it really is just all in my head, then I'm legit crazy.
Do you think I'm crazy?

No.

It-It's... definitely a-a lot to process... but no, Ella, I don't think you're crazy. Honestly, I have seen a lot crazier things. Like, a lot. And besides, there is nothing that... that you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you.

Come here.

[SNIFFLES]

You okay?

I've never been better.

Oh, and any news on the move to Detroit?

[SCOFFS] Detroit schmetroit.

ELLA: I ain't moving back there.

- Oh...

- Hell no.

- [LAUGHS]

Yeah, girl!

- Makes me so happy.

ELLA: Thanks.

- Good job tonight.

- Thanks.

AZRAEL: Told ya. See? I told you your friends are great.

[SIGHS]

The best.

AZRAEL: So... a deal's a deal. I said I would leave after, uh, this case was closed, so I guess this is adios.

Uh, wait... question.

If you say you're here to look out for me, is that what you've been doing since the car wreck?

Sort of like a... I don't know, ghost guardian angel?

AZRAEL: You could say I'm just a friend who's got your back.

ELLA: Well, I suppose you can check on my back, you know, once in a while. But, seriously, don't spy on me in the shower.

AZRAEL: Deal. Well, smell you later, Lopez.

ELLA: Uh, what is that?

Well, I think it speaks for itself, but unfortunately, I'm sworn to secrecy.

[CHUCKLES]

Hmm.

Well, you do you.

Oh, I always do.

Smell you later, Lucifer.

Uh, Ms. Lopez?

Hmm?

Since when do you use that particular turn of phrase, "Smell you later"?

I've never heard you say that before.

ELLA: Oh, it's just something my friend Ray-Ray says.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

LUCIFER: I know you're here.

Come on, time to show yourself.

[WHOOSHING]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

LUCIFER: Well, hello, Azrael.

AZRAEL: What, too cool to call me Ray-Ray anymore?

LUCIFER: Well, endearing nicknames are reserved for siblings who didn't abandon me for millennia, so...

[SIGHS]

AZRAEL: I didn't abandon you.

I've been busy.

LUCIFER: Oh.

AZRAEL: I mean, you try being the Angel of Death. A lot of people die, Lu.

LUCIFER: You're telling me.

AZRAEL: Okay, I get it, you're pissed. I should have reached out to you when Dad kicked your butt down to Hell. And I was going to, but, you know, a day turned into a week, which turned to, you know, a thousand years, and then it just seemed weird.

LUCIFER: Well, congratulations. Weirdness averted.

AZRAEL: Uh, you weren't there, Lu. You don't know. When Dad kicked you out, the whole family was rocked, me especially.

LUCIFER: Oh, really? Why is that?

AZRAEL: Because, I lost my favorite big brother, you dope.

[SCOFFS]

AZRAEL: Come on, Lu. Remember when we used to prank Amenadiel? Please tell me he still has that hilarious angry face.

[CHUCKLES]

LUCIFER: Still angry. Still hilarious.

AZRAEL: Mostly, I just missed you listening to me drone on about whatever was on my mind.
I know it may have not meant much to you, but it mattered a lot to me.

AZRAEL: Look, I-I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. But you started a freaking rebellion, Lucifer.
Nobody's perfect.

[SCOFFS]

LUCIFER: I suppose you're right about that. But why are you here now, and how does Ms. Lopez know of you?

AZRAEL: Oh, that.

Oh, don't worry, I'm not Dad. I have no qualms with you interacting with humans.

[SIGHS]

Well, come on.

AZRAEL: Ella was in a gnarly car wreck when she was young, and I showed up to, you know, do my Angel of Death thing.

But what, false alarm?

AZRAEL: It happens. This time, I don't know, I-I didn't want to leave. I mean, you know Ella.
There's just something about her. She's so positive. She makes you feel like...

LUCIFER: Good about yourself.

AZRAEL: Yeah! Exactly! I only ever get to talk to dead humans. I mean, they're so morose.
Anyway, whenever I was in the neighborhood, I'd stop by, see how she was doing, and we became friends. But apparently, it's weird if people talk to invisible angels. So I told her I was a ghost, which didn't help. So I sent her to be out here with you.

LUCIFER: You did what? First, Dad puts the detective here, and now you're trying to manipulate me with Ms. Lopez. Why does everyone think I need help meeting women?

AZRAEL: Relax. I-I didn't do it for you, I did it for her. Well, both of you, I guess. See, since I couldn't really be with her, and I couldn't be with you, I thought at least two of my favorite people could be together.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

LUCIFER: And that's the only reason that you're here?

AZRAEL: Pretty much.

[WHOOSHING]

LUCIFER: Listen, Azrael...

♪ ♪

♪ When the darkness don't let you sleep ♪

♪ I'm-a hold you close ♪

♪ And when space is all you need ♪

♪ I can let you go ♪

♪ And if the spark in your eye goes out ♪

♪ I can be your glow ♪

♪ Bringing you home, yeah... ♪

- Uh, everything okay?

- Yes.

Yes.

I was just wondering how it's going with my good friend, Ms. Lopez, as I just heard you'll be staying with us a while longer.

[CHUCKLES]

Excellent choice, by the way.

Yeah, I mean, I was just, you know, comparing DNA on a block of regular wood versus synthetic wood.

Oh.

So, the cells in the synthetic...

Sorry, you were probably just being polite.

LUCIFER: No, no, no, no. Not at all. Please, tell me more. I'm all ears.

Oh, well, it's fascinating.

See, the plastic preserves the DNA. Right? But with the regular wood, the cells get soaked up, kind of like, um, like a parasite fusing with its host, right?

♪ This is our sanctuary ♪

♪ We can find shelter and peace ♪

♪ This is our sanctuary ♪

♪ 'Cause this is our sanctuary. ♪
Post Reply