04x10 - With Mirth in Funeral and With Dirge in Marriage

All episode transcripts for the TV show "The Royals". Aired: March 2015 to May 2018.
"The Royals" revolves around the life of a modern-day, fictional royal family as they live in the public eye.
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04x10 - With Mirth in Funeral and With Dirge in Marriage

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on The Royals

You will never make a great king.

And I'm sorry.

That psychopath is operating at a level that you can't even understand.

But you can.

- I like you.

- I like you, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Kathryn Davis.


Martin Caine, energy magnate, the man Robert used to black out the entire city.

I'd start in his office.

You've got 20 minutes.


Sit down.

I've had my eye on Martin Caine for a while.


Because I've had my eye on Robert even longer.

I hope I'm wrong, but I fear I'm not.

Liam is planning to remove Robert from the throne.

It's unbelievable.

I have to put a stop to it.


He said, "I know things started unconventionally with us, but my world is more vibrant" "Because of you my heart aches and my body trembles, but I would walk away from all of it to be with you for the rest of time.

" Yes.

You can't marry him.

[COCKS g*n]


When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so very special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here I don't belong here


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today before God, England and the world to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

I require and charge you both, as you will answer at the dreadful Day of Judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, if either of you know any reason or just cause why you should not be joined together in matrimony, you do now confess it.

Repeat after me.

I, Robert I, Robert


Take thee, Wilhelmina Take thee, Wilhelmina


To be my lawfully wedded wife To be my lawfully wedded wife Those things you said to me in your office, about how I'm the gift you've always wished for, were those your words?

Were they from your heart?

I think we could maybe save this conversation till after the ceremony.


Shall I continue?

Were they?

They were Lenny's, and I borrowed them.

You borrowed them or you stole them?

In case you haven't noticed, the entire world is watching us right now.

We'll finish this conversation later.

Right now, stand still, look pretty.

Archbishop, cut to the chase.


To be my lawfully wedded wife To be my lawfully wedded wife I can't do this.

It's all a lie.


It's me.

I'm here.

I love you.

I do.

And I always will.

Until death do us part, baby.




So I have this dream, it comes like twice in a week It's been so for years and years on repeat And since then I've not had a full night of sleep 'Cause it plays out the same way I live with this girl and our kid I'm as happy as a pig rolled in shit You weren't expecting that move, were you, Father?

You were wrong about me.

Admit it.

I'm so much more than you ever thought I could be.

Do not let this thing you got go to waste Do not let your heart be dismayed It's here by some random disclosure of grace From some vascular great thing Let your life grow strong and sweet to the taste 'Cause the odds are completely insane Do not let your spirit wane Do not let your spirit wane Sending the bodyguard to speak with Robert's round table was a risky plan.

If Robby finds out what we're planning Wait.

Is this place even safe to talk?

I bugged the shit out of this room when I was King.

I found your bugs.

I used to make things up just to make you crazy.

You didn't find the bug I put under your bed.

It sounded like a buzz saw in here most nights.

The bodyguard is the least of our problems.

He told Eleanor and Eleanor told Willow.

Holy shit!

I'm going back to the Embassy where it's safe.

You're all going to the gallows.

- Maybe it's a good thing.

- A good thing?

We don't even know if we can trust this girl.

We can.

And you two really need to be more aware of your immediate surroundings.

Why did you tell the one person who actually loves that douchebag?

- She needed to know.

- And can we trust her?

She's a good person.

I'm sure of it.

You know I love you, don't you?

Of course I do.


I need to talk to you.

Do you know what the fatal flaw of every failed coup in history is?

Someone talks.

Some lone wolf betrays the pack.

I'm talking about you, lobo.


She told me what Robert said to her, and I realized they were the exact words that I'd written to Jasper in a letter that he never got for Christmas.

And this is what might undo a revolution that could change history?

Your g*dd*mn love note?

She needed to know.

Liam, what are your instincts about Willow?

I agree with Len.

We can trust her.

If we couldn't, we'd all be arrested by now.


Get down!


Get on the floor!

Stay where you are!


Oh, yeah, we can trust her.


We can trust her.

But we need a backup plan, just in case.


I'll handle that.

I'm his immediate detail.

I can control everything.

I'm bringing in my own security.

Mason Stark will be running point on security for the wedding.


Specifically, the person who tried to k*ll me is still at large, and my fiancée was laced with LSD in the Blue State Room.

Yeah, I suppose that's fair.


You'll both retain your duties on the day, but Mr. Stark and his team will complement your abilities with additional security.

You're welcome.


Robert is bringing in his own security for the wedding.

We need to sweep this room for bugs.

I wouldn't recommend using a black light.

Maybe it isn't bugged.

Maybe his little fiancée bitch ratted us out.

One step at a time.

Bodyguard, can you check the room?

- Yes.

- Good.

Until then, we do exactly what we're meant to do.



Eleanor, you continue designing the wedding.

Liam, all your best man obligations.

Bodyguard, security.

Cyrus, fondle the help.

Everything as it's always been.

Do not slip up.

What are you going to do, Mum?

I'll speak with Willow.


But first, I have to meet her mother.

Ah, you must be Felicity.

I've so looked forward to this.

It is an absolute pleasure to meet you.

Please, sit down.

You don't remember me, do you?

- Have we met before?

- Several times.

I was quite close with Dominique Stuart.


I see.

I'm not sure what drug you slipped into my daughter's drink, but I can't seem to talk her out of marrying into this godforsaken whorehouse.

I believe it was LSD.

Is that supposed to be funny?

No, just a fact.

I'll tell you what, I'll leave you here with the tea service and your obvious anger issues, and see if I can just scare up your young.

Has it been worth it?

Have you enjoyed yourself all these years?

I have until I met you.


There's my pensive fiancée.

Are you ready to tell me what's troubling you?


I'm sorry I alarmed you last night.

I I didn't know how to say this, but I've decided to just say it.

I know you caused the blackout.

Who told you that?

You did, didn't you?


Now, please, answer my question.

You were upset with me after I gave that interview.

The one about Martin Caine.

It bothered me.

So I did some soul-searching and connected the dots.

You know who I am, Willow.

Do I?

The Robert I know, or thought I knew, would never have put his people at risk like that.

The blackout caused so much harm.

Surely you can't justify that.

The recovery will take years.

And I will help them.

South London will be stronger than ever.

I know you can understand that.

Parliament exists for a reason!

One person shouldn't hold all the power.

It's too tyrannical.

History bears that out.

I'm not concerned about history!

Parliament was a sham.

Full of corruption and greed.

Do you really think that you know better than all the scholars and politicians and magistrates in the country?

Of course I do.

Don't you?

Willow, we have gone too far with inclusiveness.

Not everyone should have a vote or a say in everything.


There are a lot of very stupid people out there.

People who don't contribute.

People with self-serving agendas.

People who want to eradicate common sense.

This country has lost its way.

There are too many voices in the conversation.

There should be one voice.

Considerate and benevolent.

But only one singular vision.


I don't like what you did.

I don't like how you did it.

And I don't like that you kept it from me.

And I respect that.

But I'm a monarch.

And there are times where I can't include you.

And I won't.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Or any of this, really.

What, our wedding?

Because we have to stand up in front of the world in just over 24 hours and profess our love for each other till the end of time.

I think I need a little time.

Well, with all due respect, my love, you don't have time.

I need to know if you're in or out, because if you're getting cold feet, I need to make other arrangements.


I'm the King.

The world is waiting.

We can't leave several billion people hanging, can we?


That was unfair, I'm sorry.

I love you.

I do.

Marry me.

Let me prove that to you, please.


I'm sorry I doubted you.

I'm the one that's sorry.

Come here.


We're clear.




I can't marry your son.

I'm sorry.

He He needs to be stopped.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Actually, I'm angry as hell.

I wanted to talk to you about what he said before.

King Robert.

About the sh**t still being out there.

Oh, you mean your father?

Yeah, I know it was your father.

So why didn't you tell Robert that?

I didn't tell him about your father because he doesn't need to know.

And I find I can be more effective when people underestimate me.

But for the record, when the Princess plays Robin Hood and Cyrus has a sex party, and every time someone uses the not-so-secret bloody tunnels, I know about it.

In case you wondered.

So do you know about the coup Liam and his family are planning?


I didn't know about that.

Well, you do now.

I'm sorry that I always try and do everything by myself, but this time I need your help.

I'm the King's Head of Security.

And while he's the King, my job is to protect him.

And so is yours.

And if I don't?

My job is to protect the King.

James Hill isn't with us.

Does that mean he's against us?

It means he has a job to do.

As long as we do things legally, he won't be a problem.

Need I remind you the King has royal prerogative.

If we don't remove him swiftly, he can have us all prosecuted for treason.

I could expose him.

We really need to be aware of our surroundings.

In front of the world, during my vows, I can tell the world what he's done and who he's been.

And they'll believe you because you've got everything to lose.

Maybe he goes graciously because of the cameras.


And maybe I'm the Pope.

It's more likely he loses his shit.

If he does, I can contain him.


It's risky.

We'll be exposing our dysfunction to most of the world.

It could be the end of the monarchy.

Isn't that what Dad always wanted?

Are you sure you can do this?

Give up the throne and overthrow a regime while the world watches?

I can do it.

I have to.

I know that now.

What are you building, Boone?

Your coffin.

What do you want, Frost?

How would you like to overthrow the current King of England?

I already k*lled the man once.

More than happy to do it again.

I'll never cease to be amazed by your talents.

It looks perfect in here.


Look, I know you've been busy, but I'm sensing a distance between us.

Is everything okay?

Just trying to be respectful and stay out of the way.

You don't need to stay out of the way.

You know you're my favorite.

Anything else?

You know you can talk to me.

Trouble with Jasper?


Jasper's fine.

Although You know when I wrote him that letter at Christmas.

The one he claimed he never got?

That's always really bothered me.

It's difficult, isn't it?

Knowing where to place your faith.

Especially considering who we are.


You've always had good instincts about people.

Believe in them.

I love you.

My fury won't sympathize An eye for an eye Oh, life for a life This fury won't sympathize



I hope you get everything you deserve.

There will be retribution There is no other way My wrath is never-ending Until the price is paid There will be retribution There is no other way



So we're all set for tomorrow.

So when the Archbishop asks Willow to say "I do," instead she'll tell the world that Robert caused the blackout.

Because there's billions watching.

Potentially he goes quietly and power transfers to you.

But if he pushes back, then we take him by force.

How do we do that?

It's probably best that you don't know that but your job remains the same.

Protect Willow.

Do not engage Robert.


I got it.

The plan is to simply contain him.

And make sure that Willow is safe until justice is served.

I know he's your brother, but you're doing the right thing.

The people will see that.

There will be retribution There will be retribution Hi.


I read your letter.

I wanted you to have my reply.

It's beautiful in here.

Just seems like such a waste.

Something like this should only be for two people in love.


Then let's not waste it.


I know you're feeling disillusioned, and I know that heart of yours has been roughed up a bit.

But if you ever feel like this is going to waste, you just look for me with those perfect, pretty eyes, and we'll make sure at least one couple gets out of here happy and together.

Did you just propose to me, Jasper?

Not in the way that I'd want to.

Not even close to the way that you deserve.

But I love you so much, Princess.

So if those trust issues make you start doubting all the quiet little things that are worth believing in, then you just reach out for me and I'll be there.

For the rest of time.

I love you, Jasper Frost.

And I'm going to love you for the rest of time.


Jasper Frost, King's detail.


I need your w*apon.


King's orders.

Please step back through security.


Mr. Frost, I'm gonna ask you one more time.

I said no.

Mr. Stark.

The man got sh*t recently defending the King.

He has lead inside of him.

Let him pass.

I've given Mr.

Frost a direct order.

And I'm the Head of Security.

Not today, you're not.

Could I have a word, please?




When you walk out of this room, Mr. Hill, you'll be charged with treason.

- If you live that long.

- Shut up and fight, junior.


He said it was too quiet around here.

I'm telling you, he suspects something.

We need to make some noise.

Nice day for a wedding.

There's something you never said to poor Alistair Lacey.

He wants noise, I'll give him noise.



I just love weddings, don't you?

Your mum seems lovely.


I learned this move from Dynasty reruns, bitch!


It's my hair!

Oh, you scraggy old cow!






You had him right where you wanted him, Mr.



I'm too old for this shit.

Mum, is there something you'd like to say to the Queen?

You're too old for that dress.


Simmer down!

Today is Robby's wedding.

Do I need to remind you how important that is?

I'm sorry.

You're right, you're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I lashed out.

And I'm sorry that Willow's mother is such an assh*le.


- Mum.

I'm sorry.


And I could apologize, but I'm not going to.

Is this the kind of life you want?

This is what you're signing on for?


This is absolutely not what I'm signing on for.

Such a dream come true.


Oh, k*ll each other or don't.

Now listen.

Once the wedding starts, a car will be waiting at the front steps of the palace.

The driver will take you some place safe.

Wait there until then.

I'll find you when this is over.

Get to the car when the bells chime.

I need you and our baby safe.


It's nearly time to go.

I wish Dad was here today.

Do you think he'd approve?

His heart was broken when he lost you.

The family always meant more to him than the monarchy did.

Then why did he tell me that I wouldn't make a great king?

Why leave me with that if he was so concerned about his son more than the Crown?

Maybe he was trying to save you from all this.

You mean from my destiny?

Your darkness.

Dad wanted to disband the monarchy because he understood how that kind of power can corrupt even the best of us.

Is that how you see me, brother?

Dark and corrupt?

All my life I've watched you.

Tried to emulate you.

Not because I was jealous, but because I was mesmerized.

I've spent a lifetime trying to be more like my big brother.

Because you were great.

I'll be outside.

Liam, wait.

Let's finish the game.

I didn't come in here to compete with you.

I just wanted to spend a few minutes with my brother.

Remind him that I love him.

And tell him that when he was at his best, no one admired or appreciated him more than I did.


He's always been there for you, your brother.

Unlike you, who gave up on me.


I never gave up on you.


And I never shall.

You know where your salvation lies.

You would have liked her.

I have no doubt.

She can save you, my son.

When you forget who you are in spite of what you think you've made yourself.

That's the way back for you.

I made my choice.

I chose to be King.

To fulfill my destiny.

You can have both.

Love and the Crown.

Or you can have none if you don't change your mind and your heart.

Regardless, don't diminish her light with your darkness.

You're better than that.


It's just a dream I'm drowning in Wake me up, wake me up I'm dreaming I can't swim Wake me up Wake me up I'm dreaming You look beautiful.

You're not supposed to see me yet.

We need to talk.


Everything okay?

No, everything's a g*dd*mn mess.

- Are you ready?

- Yeah, I guess so.

I feel terrible about all of this.

I I really do.

Mostly for you.

Why me?

You shouldn't have to lose your big brother in all of this.

I have a big brother.

A damn good one.

I'm sorry I didn't believe in you.

It's okay.

I should go.

Good luck.

Walk upon England's mountains green And was the holy Lamb of God On England's pleasant pastures seen And did the Countenance Divine Shine forth upon our clouded hills?

And was Jerusalem builded here Among those dark Satanic Mills?

And did the Countenance Divine Shine forth upon our clouded hills?

And was Jerusalem builded here Among those dark Satanic Mills?


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today before God, England and the world, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

If anyone knows any reason or just cause why these two persons should not be joined together, do now confess it or forever hold your peace.

The blessing of the rings.

How you doing, handsome?

I'd be better if I had my g*n.

Cucullus non facit monachum Veni vidi vici Carpe diem Habeas corpus Memorandum These rings have been blessed, signifying unity and the binding of two souls in one.

Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.


Robert Simon, will thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony?

Will thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in good times and in bad In sickness and in health I wish I was special And forsaking all other.

So very special Keep thee only unto her But I'm a creep [SIGHS]


Let's go.

I'm a weirdo Hello?



Until death do you part?

I do.

I don't belong here Violet?

I don't care if it hurts Hi.

I want to have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul I want you to notice [ARCHBISHOP]

Wilhelmina Margaret, will thou have this man to thy wedded husband to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony?

Will thou love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in good times and in bad [CLICK]

in sickness and in health, and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him until death do you part?

I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here I do.

She's running out Again In front of God, England and the world, I now pronounce you husband and wife, man and woman, King and Queen.

You may now kiss your bride.

I don't belong here
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