08x05 - Good Mudding

[bunniefuu]

(HARVEY READING)

There's a whole life going on here that you're not even a part of.

You think I don't know what I've missed?

I'm not just talking about birthdays, Harvey.

- I got sick again.

- What?

Why didn't you tell me?

- Did you know?

- Know what?

That Gavin Andrews was gonna ask me to launder money for him?

Help me get out of this.

Please, Samantha.

I should have listened to you, but I have a family.

I want to make a perfect baby with you.

- Are you sure?

- Absolutely.

And I don't want to just pull the goalie.

I want to start trying, and I want to start trying right now.

I know you think we're in competition for the same thing, but we're not.

Robert Zane made me a promise, the next name that goes up on the wall is mine.

Why are you telling me this?

Because we're never gonna trust each other if you think I'm trying to get ahead of you.

I'm not, because I already am.

Sheila.

It's after 9:00.

You're gonna be late.

Then I'll be late, because there's something I need to ask you.

Yeah, of course.

You can ask me anything.

Louis, have you ever gotten a woman pregnant before?

Okay.

Uh...

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Where is this going?

I'm asking because you haven't gotten this woman pregnant yet, either.

Sheila, we just started trying, and I think what I've been doing, is more than meeting the standards.

Louis, you are an A/A-plus lover.

- Everyone knows that.

- There's a slash?

That's not the point.

The point is, have you ever considered the possibility that you're sh**ting blanks?

No more than I would consider the possibility that I don't have a face.

I get that, Louis, and you probably have the sperm of a thoroughbred, but I'd like you to get yourself checked.

Sheila, if you're asking what I think you are, I don't want to go to a place where people do that, unless it's absolutely necessary.

I get that, too, but the fact is, I'm not getting any younger and we don't have time to waste.

So, I'm getting myself checked, and I'm asking you to do the same.

So, here's the address.

You have an appointment today.

- Okay, Sheila, I'll get it done.

- Thank you.

LOUIS: Harvey, do you have a second?

- Sure, Louis, what is it?

- Did you ever have to test your sperm?

- What?

- Sheila wants me to, but I don't think I can do it in one of those places.

Louis, I don't want to have this conversation.

It's bad enough that we share the same dentist.

Harvey, come on.

We're trying to have a baby, and I don't have anyone else to talk to about this.

Okay, what's your problem?

Problem is, I've never had to do it under duress before.

I don't know how.

Well, why don't you do it like everyone else does?

- Use pictures.

- I don't use pictures.

I only think of Sheila, and I can't do that with a bunch of strangers there.

- What did you do before Sheila?

- I don't wanna talk about it.

- I don't want to talk about any of this.

- Harvey, come on.

(SIGHS)

All right, look, you can't use pictures, you don't want to think about Sheila.

Then you'll have to think of something that turns you on, that isn't Sheila.

You mean, think about an inanimate object.

Yes, Louis, that's what I mean.

- Have you done that before?

- Of course, I have.

- What do you use?

- No, I'm not telling you that.

- Harvey, please.

- All right.

You want the truth?

Sometimes, I think about tomatoes.

- Really?

- If you think about it, they're the most sensual fruit.

I thought they were a vegetable?

I am opening my soul to you here, don't criticize me.

I'm sorry, you're right.

Thank you, Harvey.

Good luck in there, buddy.

Yeah.

Tomatoes, holy sh*t.

Never thought of that.

You wanna tell me what that was all about?

No, because I'm guessing you listened to the entire conversation, which means you know what it's about.

In that case, what I really want to know is, is it true about the tomatoes?

I think we both know it's not.

Just like we both know it's really strawberries and whipped cream.

- What, too soon?

- No.

But this is an office, and someone could overhear and misunderstand that that was 13 years ago.

Really?

'Cause it feels like 12 and a half to me.

- You're an idiot.

- No, Louis is an idiot, because he believed I think about tomatoes.

And if Sheila wants him to get his swimmers checked, we shouldn't mock that he has to do that, in a cup, thinking about tomatoes.

You're absolutely right.

We should take it very seriously.

- Tomatoes.

- Okay, you know what?

As much as I would love to do this all day, I came in here to tell you, you need to call Marcus.

Marcus?

About what?

I don't know, but he left me a message that he wants you to call him.

If he wants me to call, why would he be leaving a message for you?

Because when Marcus really needs you, he calls me.

He's only ever done that twice, which means whatever it is he needs, it's important.

All right, Donna, I'll call him.

Today, Harvey.

Today.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, Harvey.

I'm glad you called.

I take it Donna gave you my message?

She did.

What's going on?

- I'm getting a divorce.

- What?

I know.

And I know it is a big ask, but I was hoping that you could represent me.

Marcus, hold on.

When did this happen?

The last time I was up there, everything seemed fine.

Yeah, well, it's not fine.

And as much as I hate it, this is what she wants.

If you want me to help you, I'm gonna need to know more than that.

What do you want me to tell you, Harvey?

That we grew apart?

- Well, we did.

- Bullshit, I know you.

- It's not the full story.

- You're right, it's not, and I will tell you everything when you get up here.

I didn't say I was coming up there, and I'm not going to, unless you tell me what's going on, right now.

I slept with someone, all right?

- You did what?

- I was stupid, and I had an affair, and I know you want to rip my head off right now...

You're damn right, I do!

'Cause you know better than anyone, what thatdoes to a family.

Right now, I don't care.

What the hell did you just say to me?

Harvey, you're always telling your clients that "Your issues are your issues," and that you don't judge people for what they do.

So, right now, I don't need to hear how I screwed up.

What I need to hear is that you're on your way up here to help make sure that I don't lose my kids.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about custody, Harvey, because Katie hired a shark to represent her.

Which means even if you didn't want this - to turn into a fight...

- I can't risk not treating it like one, and the best way I know to avoid a fight is to show up with a howitzer.

And, Harvey, the biggest howitzer I know is you.

All right, Marcus, I'll come up.

(SINGING)

See the money, wanna stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody wanna know how it feel Everybody wanna see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie I don't mind Me and missy is so early Busy, busy making money All right!

All step back I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie All right, you have your tea.

Now, let's get you set up in the library.

You mean the room with the books I can literally see from here?

Joy, I don't need to have any attitude.

I can set myself up, Dad, thanks.

These associates get younger and angrier, don't they?

That's not an associate, that's my daughter.

And you think I didn't know that?

I can spot a ninth-grade pushback from a mile away.

ALEX: Let me ask you something.

How'd you manage your kids?

What do you mean, manage 'em?

I mean, Joy got in trouble at school, that's why she's here.

And she may be a pain in the ass, but she finishes her homework in 18 seconds, - and all I have today is paperwork.

- I got it.

Your daughter won't listen, and you don't want to talk to her, anyway.

No, I just don't know what to say to her to get her to hear me.

That's because sometimes, there is no way to get them to hear you.

But they might hear someone else.

Someone cool.

- Someone like you?

- No, no, no.

- Not me.

- Come on, Gretchen, - what's it gonna take?

- I'm not saying I won't do it.

- I'm saying it won't work.

- Why not?

Because it can't be someone you think is cool.

It has to be someone she thinks is cool.

Well, look at that.

Maybe you're not doomed after all.

Now, move out of the way.

I gotta get me some of that almond milk.

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello.

My name is Louis Litt, and I'm here to...

(CHUCKLES)

- You know, make a deposit.

- Ah.

Of course.

11:00, right on the dot.

Punctuality helps me get in the right head space.

Then why don't you take a look at our preparatory materials, and before you ask, I promise, whatever you need, - we've got you covered.

- That's great.

Then I'll just take a quick look - at The Wall Street Journal.

- The what?

The Wall Street Journal.

America's paper of record.

What do you need The Wall Street Journal for?

What do you mean, what do I need it for?

I need it to conduct my business.

But we don't conduct business here.

No, not that kind of business.

- This kind of business.

- Are you telling me...

Yes.

I need a Wall Street Journal a Forbes, Investor's Weekly, anything of a fiscal and fiduciary nature.

We don't have those things.

Who are you?

You just said anything I need, you got me covered.

What is your problem?

Well, it's not the clinic's, but I have the real estate section of the newspaper.

Give me that sh*t.

Standard, standard, standard, blah, blah, blah...

Holy sh*t, they want how much for a two bedroom?

Chubby Checker.

That'll work.

- Really?

- Yes, really.

I need a room.

I need one now.

I'll even share it with somebody.

- Come on, get the cup.

- All right...

- Get the cup!

- This way.

Samantha, you got a second?

What I have is less than four hours to find proof Insight dr*gs has ripped off our client's heart medication.

That's too bad because I need help with something, and you're the perfect person.

- You're asking for my help?

- Yes, I am.

- What's the case?

- Williams vs.

Williams, - and I'm losing big time.

- What, now?

My daughter.

She's here for two days because she got suspended, and worse, when I asked her what happened, she lied to me about it.

So, you're coming to me because you don't think she'll listen to you or your wife right now.

She's a smart kid, but right now, all she cares about is being cool.

So, I need someone like you to show her that being smart is cool.

So, you're saying I'm cool.

To a 15-year-old, who won't listen to a word her father says, yes.

Maybe that's because she doesn't need to listen right now, she needs to be heard.

Because I can tell you from experience, being a teenage girl is pretty damn hard.

- Does that mean you'll do it?

- I guess it does.

Just don't make me regret this.

Alex, if you don't know by now, making people regret things is kind of what I do.

Then you and Joy are gonna get along just fine.

Thanks, Samantha.

- What is this?

- Sanitizer.

I heard you had a particularly dirty case on your hands.

Harvey told you.

You mean that this was the hardest case you've ever had?

That the client was really jerking you around?

- That...

- Are you finished?

- Are you finished?

- Donna!

I'm just asking as a friend.

Did you slay the dragon?

Did you bop the potato?

Did you wallop the badinger?

- "Wallop the badinger"?

- Yeah, I was on a roll.

Whatever.

No.

Louis, what's wrong?

I was just joking around.

Did it not go okay?

- It's not that, Donna.

- Then what is it?

- What if I can't have kids?

- Louis...

It is all I've ever wanted, but it has never once occurred to me that I might not be able to do it.

Has it occurred to you that the reason you were never worried is that there's no reason - to be worried?

- Except Sheila is worried, and now, it's in my head.

- Donna, what if it is me?

- Louis, right now, we don't even know if there's a problem at all.

So, I suggest you cross that bridge when you come to it.

And if you do, and you need someone to talk about it with, I'll be here.

Thank you, Donna.

Hey.

Did you get a hold of Marcus?

- I did.

- Then what's going on?

- He's not sick again, is he?

- No, nothing like that, - but it's still not good.

- Then what is it?

He cheated on Katie.

She found out, and now, she wants a divorce.

- Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

- No.

And that's not all, he wants me to come up there - and represent him.

- So, what are you gonna do?

What do you think I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna help him.

Okay, look, I have to ask, are you sure that you want to do this?

I appreciate your concern, Donna, but it's my brother.

What am I supposed to do?

All I'm saying is that this could bring up a lot of sh*t for you.

And I don't disagree, but like I said, it's my brother.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Okay.

But before you go, after what just happened, - I think you should tell Robert.

- I already did.

- How did he take it?

- I have to give him credit, he didn't hesitate for a second.

He said, "Family comes first.

"Always does, always will." - You must be Joy.

- That's the name they gave me.

I'm Samantha.

Your dad's gonna be stuck in meetings all day, so, he asked me to check in on you.

Samantha, is it?

He didn't ask you to check in on me.

He asked you to keep an eye on me because you're the cool one.

Well, you might be cool to him, but you're not cool to me.

Okay.

I see what this is.

I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours.

- Your what?

- My "why I got suspended." - You got suspended?

- Just once.

But from three different schools.

That's the football field.

I used industrial bleach.

That sh*t's not coming out for months.

Wow.

That is some colorful language.

- So, what'd you do?

- The worst one?

I boosted a car from the school parking lot.

- You stole somebody's car.

- Not somebody's, the principal's.

Turns out that is not a good idea.

Got it.

Don't steal the principal's car.

I'm not saying breaking the rules is a bad thing.

I'm saying you just need to know which ones to break.

I don't think you're supposed to tell me that.

Maybe not, but if you're gonna help me the next couple of days, you should know how I work.

- Help you?

- Yeah.

I've got a deposition this afternoon, and nothing to force the other guy's hand.

You in?

- I'm in.

- Well, then, Joy, you and I are gonna need some coffee.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Harvey, what are you doing here?

I'm here because Marcus asked me to represent him.

Then you shouldn't be contacting me without my lawyer.

No, I shouldn't.

But I'm not here as a lawyer.

I'm here as your brother-in-law.

- What does that mean?

- It means I know Marcus still loves you, and I need to know if there isn't still a way that you guys can work this out.

And as much as I wish that could happen, it's too late for that.

Look, Marcus told me what happened...

And you're still standing here, - trying to defend him.

- No, I'm not.

When he told me, believe me, I wanted to lay him out myself, but I also know what it feels like to have your family ripped apart, and I don't want to see that happen.

And you think I do?

No, I don't, but I'm telling you, the second lawyers get involved, it's gonna get messy.

It's already messy, Harvey.

And my lawyer's already involved, so, be Marcus's lawyer, or don't, but either way, I can't talk to you anymore.

- No, no, you sit here.

- Why?

Those two over there are opposing council and his client.

What does that have to do with where I sit?

It has to do with where I sit.

- I don't understand.

- Let me explain.

I have nothing on this assh*le, but I know he's lying.

So, I'm going to bluff him in an hour, and this is where that bluff starts.

So, you're just gonna stare at him?

No, I'm also going to laugh and drink my coffee and show him how incredibly confident I am.

I get it.

You're trying to get in their heads.

- Not trying, doing.

- Awesome.

- I'll get us some drinks.

- You're buying?

- My dad's buying.

- In that case, I will take a dozen bagels, seven donuts, and one of those fancy espresso machines over there.

Don't tell me, the results are in.

- They are.

- And?

They want me to meet with the doctor in person.

- And?

- And I want you to come with me.

Louis, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I really think that you should do this on your own.

Donna, they said "in person." That can't be good.

But don't they do that for everyone?

Maybe they do, but I just don't want to be alone.

And I understand that, but I'm not the woman you should be asking.

- Sheila.

- She's your partner in this.

I know that, but what if...

- What if what?

- Donna, if I'm the reason we can't have kids, I wanna be the one to tell her.

Not some guy in a lab coat.

And if you really want me to go with you, I will, but if I were Sheila, I wouldn't want to be the second woman in your life to find that out.

You're right, Donna.

Don't tell me they ran out of coffee.

No, I got something better than coffee.

I didn't know what to do, so, I just hit "record." - Does it help?

- It sure as sh*t doesn't hurt.

Does that mean we don't have to sit here and smile at them?

No, it just means it's gonna be a hell of a lot more fun.

(CHUCKLES)

Harvey.

You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

There was something I had to do first.

Yeah, I know what you had to do, - and I wish you hadn't done it.

- Listen to me...

Harvey, you said you were gonna come up here and help me, not stir things up with Katie.

Marcus, you said you wanted peace, so, I tried to make peace.

Yeah, well, what you did was make it worse.

- sh*t.

- What does that mean, "You've been sanctioned"?

Look, it's a fine for contacting her without her lawyer.

- It's nothing.

- No, I know you, and there's something else.

If I file some kind of motion and it's a coin toss, the judge probably rules in their favor.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Marcus, I am sorry.

You asked me to come up here, and like it or not, this is tough for me, too, so, I tried with Katie.

Okay, Harvey, I get it.

I just wish there was a chance in hell that it would've worked.

- So, what are we gonna do now?

- I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

You want a peaceful settlement, we're gonna get you a peaceful settlement.

- Mr.

Litt.

- Yes.

- Please, have a seat.

- Oh, my God, it's worse than I thought.

I have no sperm at all.

(CHUCKLES)

Of course not.

In fact, I'm happy to inform you, that your sperm count is perfectly fine.

I see no reason why you can't make - any healthy woman pregnant.

- Great, fantastic.

- There is one thing, however.

- One thing.

I noticed on the Lifestyle section of our form, - you put down "mudding." - Yeah.

Yes, it relaxes and soothes me.

Come to think of it, doc, I think that's the reason - why my count is so robust.

- You'll have to give it up.

- What now?

- Your count is fine, but due to your partner's age, if you give up mudding, your chances of conceiving go up significantly.

- Define significantly.

- 80%.

Holy sh*t, 80%?

- There's gotta be another way!

- There isn't.

What if I put everything in but my balls?

- I don't...

- Scratch that, defeats the purpose.

- Mr.

Litt...

- What if I cut down on my sessions?

I cut it down in half, it improves our chances 40%.

I'm afraid it doesn't work that way.

Then what are you telling me?

I'm telling you that if you want to have the best chance at having a child, you'll give up mudding for the foreseeable future.

Excuse me.

Who is she, and what's she doing here?

- It's "go to work with your parent" day.

- She's your daughter?

Something like that.

But, of course, if you're too afraid to have her here, - she doesn't have to be here.

- Fine with me if she stays, since this is gonna be the world's shortest deposition.

Because you're ready to admit you infringed on my client's patent to create your generic knock-off?

Because my company developed that drug from scratch, and your client has no proof we didn't.

Actually, we do have proof, we're just not gonna use it.

(SCOFFS)

You're not going to use it because it doesn't exist.

I'm not gonna use it because I'd like you to lie to my face in this deposition.

And why is that?

So, when I reveal what we know in open court, you not only lose this case, you get charged with perjury.

Can't you get sent to jail for that?

Why, yes, Joy, you can.

But you'd probably go bankrupt first, trying to fight it.

BOTH: Hmm.

You're bluffing.

You don't have sh*t on him.

I guess there's only one way to find out.

So, Mr.

Coleman, did you or did you not rip off our patent to create your bullshit new drug?

And before you answer, I'd like you to think back to that decaf latte you were drinking before coming up here.

And, more specifically, to the person waiting in line by your table, while you were trying so hard not to look at me.

That's what she's doing here.

- You set us up.

- You set yourself up because you went to a public place, and discussed a case loud enough for a 15-year-old girl, who just happened to be recording the coffee shop to pick you up on tape.

Now, for the last time, where'd your new drug come from?

All right.

How much do you want?

Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting.

My client and I were just discussing a few last matters.

Not a problem.

Now, that you're ready, I suggest we start with division of property.

Actually, we'd like to start with the most important issue...

- Our kids.

- LAWYER: Exactly.

Because we're seeking sole custody.

What?

We didn't talk about that.

And what was or wasn't previously discussed - is irrelevant.

- That's bull...

Marcus, let me handle this.

Because they don't really want sole custody, they just want to start on one end because they're expecting us to start on the other.

But we don't want a fight, so, why don't we just all start in the middle?

I'll tell you why, because we're not moving on this at all.

- Excuse me?

- Katie, don't do this.

You did this to yourself, Marcus.

No, he didn't.

He may have screwed up, but you don't have the grounds to take the kids.

- Actually, we do.

- HARVEY: Bullshit.

And I'm not gonna let you play games like you did with those sanctions.

- What sanctions?

- You know what sanctions.

The ones you had your lawyer slap me with for coming to talk to you.

- I didn't authorize anything like that.

- You didn't need to.

After you told me he approached you improperly...

You thought it was a good idea to use that to bias the judge.

I thought it would be a good idea to protect my client's interests.

Well, those kids aren't just your client's interests.

They're my brother's children...

Then maybe he should have cared enough to put their needs ahead of his own.

HARVEY: Katie, he may not have been a perfect husband, but I am not gonna let you say he's not a good father.

How would you know what kind of a father he is?

I'll tell you how.

Every time I have seen them with him, every time he has told me about them...

What about what he told you about why we're splitting up?

Just because he slept with someone else doesn't mean he's not a good...

Slept with someone else?

Oh, my God.

He didn't tell you what happened, did he?

- Katie...

- Marcus, what's she talking about?

Know what?

You can have that conversation on your own time, 'cause I'm not gonna let you tell me this is all my fault when you don't even know the whole story.

But let me be clear, I'm taking the kids because that is what is best for them.

And if you have a problem with that, Harvey, you can take it up with the man sitting next to you, 'cause I'm done defending myself.

Katie!

Okay, you tell me, and you tell me, now.

What was that all about?

- I was gambling again.

- I don't believe this...

It was just for a few weeks.

It was almost a year ago, and I've been in a program - ever since.

- Let me guess.

You didn't tell Katie, just like you didn't tell me.

- I was going to tell you.

- When?

After the judge took your kids?

Because they're right, Marcus.

They do have the grounds to do that, - and you gave it to them.

- Harvey, there's gotta be something you can do here.

Not when I don't have all the facts!

I point-blank asked you what happened, and you said it was because of an affair.

Look, I know I should have told you, but I'm telling you now.

Then you tell me right now anything else I should know, and I mean anything.

Haley caught me making a bet, and I told her that I was just playing a game, and that it could be our little secret.

- Are you kidding me?

- Where you going?

- Back to New York.

- No, please, you can't...

These are my kids!

Your kids that you asked to lie for you, which makes you no different than Mom was.

That is not fair.

What Mom did is nothing like this.

You asked your kids to keep your secrets.

- How is that different?

- It was one time, and Haley had no idea what I was doing was wrong.

You know what?

Tell yourself whatever you want about what kind of man you are.

You're not just a shitty husband, you're a shitty brother, and I'm done here.

Oh, ho, ho.

What's this for?

I know it was a stressful day, and I thought you deserved something with a little umbrella.

(CHUCKLES)

You have no idea.

So, how did it go?

- It was great.

- Really?

What did he say?

He said I should have no issue getting you pregnant, and nothing else.

- Nothing else?

- Absolutely not one thing else.

That's funny, because I was told - you have to give up mudding.

- What?

- How'd you know that?

- They called me - right after they saw you.

- I don't believe this.

This is a total violation of the doctor-patient...

Cut the bullshit, Louis.

You signed the form.

The question is, can you do this?

- Of course, I can do it.

- Are you sure?

Because you couldn't even admit it to me.

I didn't wanna talk about it because it was a difficult thing, but I can handle it.

You know nothing means more to me than having a family.

I do know that, Louis, but I also know how your brain works, and you're gonna try to figure out a way to convince yourself - that you can have both.

- Okay.

I am a grown man, and I am telling you, if a doctor tells me I have to give up mudding, - then I will give it up.

- Promise me.

I promise.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(SIGHS)

Mom, if you're here to talk about Marcus...

Of course, I'm here to talk about Marcus.

Question is, are you going to let me in, or not?

Then go ahead and say your piece, but it's not gonna change my mind.

Well, I don't know if it will, or it won't, but I came to tell you you're right.

What Marcus did was horrible, and I understand you being furious, but Haley's in fifth grade.

She barely knows what gambling is.

She knows what lying is.

She knows that her father asked her to do it.

And Marcus feels terrible about that.

Yeah, that's what all addicts say.

And your brother has never been as strong as you are, - but that doesn't mean...

- This isn't about strength.

No, it's about forgiveness.

And Marcus forgave me, even when I failed you both, and then he forgave you when you walked away.

Are you saying I owe him?

I'm saying people make mistakes.

Harvey, I know how angry you are, but you can't let him lose his children.

Because I can tell you from personal experience, there is nothing worse for the parent or the child.

What am I supposed to say to that?

How about if I say what we both know is true?

This is all my fault.

I modeled all of this behavior for both of you, but please, Harvey, don't make him pay for my mistakes.

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

But I'm gonna need to ask you some questions.

So, make yourself comfortable, because we're gonna be here for a while.

Thought you were done with me.

I'm your brother.

I'm never gonna be done with you.

- You talked to Mom.

- I did.

She basically said it was all her fault.

- Well, it wasn't.

- I know.

But if I can forgive her, I should be able to forgive you, too.

I figured out a way to get you shared custody.

But I am putting in the agreement, you ever gamble again, she gets the kids.

You don't live up to that, I don't care what the law says, I'll represent her to make sure that's what happens.

- Okay.

- Okay.

(SIGHS)

Uh...

This claims that Katie's an unfit mother.

You were traveling for work, and Haley broke her arm at the playground.

- Where was Katie?

- She was in a meeting.

Her phone was off.

So, you'd think she'd be more mindful in the future, but when her son wandered off from camp two years later, she didn't even bother calling them back - for three hours.

- She didn't get the message!

When you got the message, you drove up there like a rocket to go find him.

- Harvey, you're twisting the facts here.

- No.

- I am getting your children.

- Not this way, you're not.

I know this doesn't feel good, but you said it, we need a howitzer.

- This is it.

- I don't care.

- Marcus...

- Katie is a good mother.

She loves those kids.

I'm not gonna let you say these things about her.

Damn it, Marcus, there's no other way.

You're the best g*dd*mn closer in New York.

Isn't that what you always say?

Well, the best g*dd*mn closer would find another way.

Hey, Dad.

Got you some churros.

Thanks, but I gotta say, I thought you'd be here an hour ago, begging to go home.

Well, Samantha and I went to Otto's Tacos to celebrate.

- Celebrate what?

- Her destroying this dude in a deposition all because of what I gave her.

- She said I did great.

- What do you mean, "what you gave her"?

I overheard this guy telling his lawyer that they stole our drug formula, - and then I just...

- Wait a second, you overheard this?

I didn't just overhear it, I recorded it.

And then Samantha used it in a deposition.

Well, she didn't really use it, she just threatened to use it, which I thought was pretty badass...

I want you to stay the hell away from that woman.

What?

- You heard me.

- Wait, aren't you the one who wanted us to work together in the first place?

Not to work together, keep an eye on you, - and definitely not use you.

- She didn't use me.

- I volunteered.

- You don't know what she did because you're 15 years old.

I may only be 15, but I actually came in here to admit that I was wrong for not wanting to come into work with you, and that now, I can't wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow's not gonna be like today, because you're gonna stay away from that woman.

- You can't make me do that!

- You'd better believe I can.

You really are a piece of work, aren't you?

I'm sorry, shouldn't you be coming in here to thank me for taking care of your daughter?

If you think what you did is what "taking care of" means, I hope you never get a g*dd*mn houseplant, - let alone a child.

- Excuse me?

Joy told me about the stunt you pulled, and how you told her she did a great job.

Did you also tell her it's illegal to record someone else's conversation?

It is not illegal to record sound in a public space.

That's not what happened, and you know it.

It doesn't matter, because I didn't use the recording because I didn't need to.

Oh, I know that, because if you had, we'd have a whole other set of problems right now.

And what would those be?

Because what I did was completely within the bounds of the law.

You don't get it, do you?

I trusted you with my daughter who's been getting in trouble and lying, and then she does something like this.

And instead of you telling her it was wrong, you gave her - a g*dd*mn cookie.

- What I did was treat her like an adult and show her how the world works.

She's not an adult, and she can learn how the world works when you and I did, and that's not 15.

Some of us learned a hell of a lot younger than that.

You must have had a shitty upbringing, because a parent's job isn't to teach their kids how the world is.

A parent's job is to teach them how the world should be.

Her parent asked me to get through to her in the first place because he couldn't do it himself.

Well, that's on me to grapple with.

In the meantime, stay the hell away from my daughter.

Good morning, Gretchen.

How are you this...

I'm busy, Louis, just like you'd better get.

- Which is what I'm doing here.

- Wait, slow it down.

- What are you talking about?

- The Nielson depo - got moved up to tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?

Yes, and Joan Walsh wants her quarterly update yesterday.

There are 16 other things waiting for you in your office.

You got lunch with Sheila at 1:00, and I don't know - what the hell...

- Stop right there.

You need to reschedule half of those things.

That brings me to the last thing.

- I gotta go to the dentist.

- What?

Gretchen, no, you can't leave me like this.

Did you hear me?

I got a hole in my tooth the size of Colorado.

And before you ask me to call Lipschitz because you can't handle the pressure, he's out of town till next week.

Good luck.

Good mudding, Louis.

- Good mudding, Louis.

- Hey, Louis, good mudding.

- And good mudding to you, too.

- Top of the mudding to you.

- Good mudding.

- Good mudding.

- WOMAN: Good mudding.

- MAN: Hey, Louis, good mudding.

(ECHOING)

Mudding, mudding, mudding...

So, what's on the agenda for today?

Nothing.

After last night's lecture, I didn't think I'd be seeing you today.

Yeah, my dad told me to stay away from you, but he doesn't know anything.

- That's not true.

- Yes, it is.

- He's an assh*le.

- Don't say that.

Why not?

It's the truth.

I learned more from you than any adult ever, so, if he wants me to stay away from you, he's wrong.

No, Joy, he's not.

I'm the one who was wrong.

That car I boosted when I was 14?

I didn't tell you the other half of it.

I didn't just get suspended, I got expelled.

- Holy sh*t.

- Yeah.

And after that, I had a choice, either get my sh*t together, or get nowhere in life.

So, by the time I was a senior, I got a scholarship, and that's how I was able to go to college in the first place.

Well, I don't need a scholarship.

My dad's rich.

And if you think that's your father's value, you don't know anything.

Whether you see it or not, he is looking out for you.

He doesn't look out for me, okay?

He just tells me what to do.

Telling you what to do is looking out for you.

As someone who didn't have anyone telling me what to do when I could have really used it, (SIGHS)

you have no idea how lucky you are.

So, whether you want to listen to him or not, I do, and we're not working together anymore.

I didn't think you'd take his side.

What can I say, turns out your father's pretty smart.

You should listen to him sometime.

Maybe I will.

He was right about one thing this week.

- Yeah?

What's that?

- You are the cool one.

Joy, what I'm trying to tell you, is I think, maybe, your dad is the cool one.

Mind if I sit?

Harvey, I told you, I'm not talking to you without my lawyer.

And I tried to tell you that lawyers only make things ugly.

Here's proof.

What is this?

It's a list of all the times you put those kids at risk.

- This is bullshit.

- Maybe, but it's the kind of bullshit that works in court.

- You wouldn't do this to me.

- You'd better believe I would, because I care about those kids, and I know they both need you and Marcus in their lives.

Well, then maybe Marcus should have thought about that - before he did what he did.

- Yeah, he should have.

But he's thinking about it now, which is why, as much as I'd like to use this, - he won't let me.

- What?

I told him this was the only way.

He told me to find another one because he doesn't want to hurt you any more than he already has.

Katie, he loves you, and whether or not you're willing to give the marriage another chance, he deserves another chance as a father.

I never thought I'd hear something like that from Harvey Specter.

Well, if there's one thing I've come around on, when it comes to family, forgiveness is a hell of a lot better than anger.

I'll think about it.

That's the most I can ask.

- Hey.

- Louis, it's past 3:00.

We were supposed to go to lunch two hours ago.

I know.

Work was a sh*t-show, so, I got you these to say I'm sorry.

They're beautiful.

- And I have a gift for you, too.

- Oh, yeah?

- What kind of gift?

- The best kind.

You don't have to give up mudding because I've decided to get my tubes tied.

What?

Why would you...

Because clearly mudding is more important to you than having a baby, so, I thought, why not make it easier for both of us?

Sheila, that's not...

You're gonna tell me that's not mud under your fingernails?

All right, it is, but it was just one last time.

And how can I trust that that's true?

Because I just told you, work was f*cking crazy.

Gretchen was coming at me with 1,000 things.

- You don't understand.

- I do understand, because I'm the one who asked her to come at you.

LOUIS: So, let me just get this straight, you didn't trust me, so, you did this to me.

No, I didn't do anything to you.

You made me a promise.

All you had to do was let go of one thing, - and you couldn't do it.

- It was a big thing, and I don't even know if it's the only thing.

Now, let me get this straight.

You can't put the needs of our child above your own.

- I'm not saying that.

- Okay, then what are you saying?

Because I may not be a mother yet, but I know - that's what parenthood means.

- So do I!

Then what happens the first time he's sick when we have tickets to the ballet?

Or there's a deposition at the same time as a parent-teacher conference?

- Those are different.

- How?

Because I would be giving those things up for him, not for...

For me.

No, you're not giving any of it up for me.

You're giving these things up to have a child.

Do you want to know what I'm giving up?

Coffee, and drinking, and cheese, and my hair color, not to mention the pain of pushing another human being out of my body.

So, if you're not ready to make this one little sacrifice, then you're not ready to have a child.

Sheila, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking, and I won't...

I will just get rid of my membership today.

No, you don't have to give up your membership, Louis.

You just have to stop till we get pregnant.

Don't you see?

If I keep it, I'll be tempted.

Sheila, having a family is far more important to me than going mudding.

Okay, good.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Let me guess.

You fixed everything, and you're calling me to tell Robert that you'll be back in the morning.

HARVEY:Okay, mind reader.

- What do I have to say to that?

- I don't know, Harvey, but I'm glad you went.

To tell you the truth, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I swear it took a piece of me, Donna.

Well, you could look at it that way, or you could look at it like you chose to give a piece of yourself.

That's pretty good.

You should be a philosopher.

- And who's to say I'm not?

- (MICROWAVE BEEPING)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to give a piece - of something to someone else.

- Thank you, Donna.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Donna, no offense, but a cup of coffee is the last thing I need right now.

Among other things, I'm trying to give up caffeine.

I know that, Louis, and that's not coffee.

Oh, my God, don't tell me it's...

Iron-rich Peruvian ground silt, heated to the recommended temperature of 102.68 degrees Fahrenheit.

Sheila told you I sold my membership, didn't she?

She did, and I have to say, I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Thanks, Donna.

And thanks for this.

One more thing.

Something tells me that you're gonna need this for coffee sooner than you think.

Good night, Louis.

You have a minute?

Depends on what it's for.

I shouldn't have said what I said about your upbringing.

- And?

- Whatever you said to Joy, - I appreciate it.

- I'm glad.

Is it true, what you told her about family?

I don't want to talk to you about my childhood, Alex.

What is true is you're a good father.

I overstepped my bounds.

I'm sorry.

Ah, sh*t.

- What?

- I told you I'm trying to teach Joy to do the right thing, but I haven't done right by you.

You told me Zane promised your name would be next on that wall, but I didn't tell you that Harvey promised me the exact same thing.

Well, now that you have, you wanna give it up?

No.

- You?

- No.

- You wanna share it together?

- No.

Me, either.

I guess there's only one thing left to say.

I guess there is.

- When the time comes...

- May the best woman win.