06x10 - Moe n' Joe

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Tony, hey.

I tented the bulbs.

Oh, good.

I've been meaning to ask you the Sacrimoni's I've been doin' his yard over there a year and change now And? I guess what I'm asking is how much longer do I have to keep doin' this on the arm? Oh, so it was okay when we were gettin' you out of your feech la manna problem, huh? But suddenly short f*ckin' memory? I appreciate that, Tony.

Don't get me wrong, but You're a selfish prick, Sal.

you know that? Her husband's in jail.

don't you think this is the time when Mrs.

Sacrimoni needs you the most? The federal prosecutors and myself have been told to clear our calendars for the next five months.

So trial is upon us.

And the feds have reached a complete accounting of your worth.

"The vintage Wurlitzer"? They go through my f*ckin' sock drawer? They sh*t a video the day of your arrest.

They even tracked down the 180 grand in Boca Raton under your father's name.

They estimate your net worth at $5 million while Ginn lives on scraps.

between your cash and portfolios with Fidelity and Vanguard, your 401k and severence parachute from Essany Scaffolding, condo in deal beach at 450, Maserati, Ginny's Yukon, and the house and its contents valued at a million two.

Is this all part of your plan, Ron make me so f*ckin' depressed that I hang myself? It's my obligation to raise the idea again of cooperating.

Flip? Let me explain something to you again, Ron, but differently.

Being a rat, where I'm comin' from, that's like asking a person where you're comin' from to become a f*ckin' n*zi.

I don't wanna hear that sh*t again.

Good.

Because, frankly, I don't represent turncoats.

'cause it would k*ll your practice.

Huh What happened to my stuffed pork loin? You ever hear of knocking? I ordered it special.

You had them send it up to Carmela? You get what you pay for.

Hi.

She's your little twin.

Bacala's got no f*ckin' genes at all.

You never miss a chance to sh*t on him, do you? I'm joking, come on.

She looks like you, that's all.

I don't know why you just can't admit that you blame us that you got sh*t.

Unfortunately, I have only myself to blame.

"Unfortunately.

" Oh-ho.

So obviously you'd like to blame somebody.

I have only myself to blame.

You don't blame me for the sh**ting? Well you f*ckin' blame me for something! - Jan, the baby.

- You know, marrying the boss's sister usually it's a step up.

But you keep your g*dd*mn foot on our necks.

You punish Bobby because he's my husband.

- Will you stop, huh? - To be his age and not to be a captain? Oh, now I see what this little visit's all about.

He works so hard for you, and what does he get? Merciless ridicule about his weight, about his model railroading.

- He's a grown man! - Oh, but it's okay for Neil Young.

He owns Lionel! Domenica! Take care of your things.

I don't know where it comes from all your anger, your hate for me.

I'm your sister.

I know I'm not perfect.

I know I annoy people.

I think about you lying in that hospital bed I cried for you.

I sat with you.

I know it.

And I appreciated it.

But we both know no matter how much help I gave, you'd still be here f*ckin' complainin'.

Oh my God, there's nothing holding us together but DNA.

I'm askin' what else you got besides slot machines.

That single-deck blackjack? Okay, thanks.

I can't believe this.

- I was - Is this what you're doing all day? I knew there was a reason you wouldn't let me read the galleys of your book.

I'm doing research.

I guess Rocky Marciano was a fan of the greyhounds 'cause I found a f*cking trifecta box ticket in my trash! Hold up.

It's complicated sh*t.

Are you even a sports writer? I mean, here we are talking about taking the next step in this relationship.

I ask you to share my home and you can't Ev be straight with me.

f*ck this.

nice knowing you, Vincent.

Jimbo, come on.

I'm not a writer, okay? I'm not from sCottsdale and the car's not my sister's.

I'm actually from New Jersey - I knew it.

- Some sh*t went down.

I had to leave my home, my contracting business my wife, my kids.

Are you drunk? It's not even 11:00! You think it's easy? I miss home so bad my heart's a f*ckin' lump.

I'm barely holding together, stuck in the sticks, running out of money and now this? You think I was looking for you? A wife and kids.

Of course.

I've been divorced for a few years.

Where do they think you are? You can never tell anybody, ever.

I'm not f*ckin' around here.

I was married too, remember? I was only gonna say you need some money.

you worked construction.

maybe I can help you get work.

I know some people could always use a good handyman.

happy birthday! - Mwah! - Stop blubbering.

It's a party.

You think we'd let you turn 50 alone? - Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

Hi, Sal! God, he's such a mope.

The girls come around enough, and that helps.

Allegra's a little bitchy, but it's painful for her to be here.

Plus she thinks I resent her happiness.

- Newlyweds.

- She's probably freaked out that she's not happier herself.

Ginny, that kitchen and this room, the light not his decision to make.

I'm running that shop, not him.

My days are completely full.

- I shouldn't.

- Hey, it's your birthday.

- Yeah.

- I've always loved this place.

It reminds me of the palladian villas I saw in Italy.

Thank you.

Sometimes I forget.

And it's embarrassing.

I spend most of my time upstairs.

- Wellbutrin.

- I wish there was a pill John in that place? Of course I can't say my pain's worse than anybody's.

Yeah yeah.

We're both grownups.

I'd rather go with my own instincts.

Your feet are like f*ckin' icicles.

Hands too? Dinner was good.

Shh.

Hey, I found a woodland mountain.

- Bobb - I'm listening, okay? Where are you going? Rafe's brother's making a music video.

They got dry ice.

Where's your helmet? Check out the Moe and Joe action.

Hey, you know what? Let's do a race, the polar express one.

We could trash it.

I can't.

I see the grey cloud hanging around your head.

Where's Prince Albert? still sleeping? Who knows? Tony, I've been very patient with you because you've been sick.

You were going to talk to the building inspector.

- My spec house.

- Oh, yeah.

yeah yeah.

I sent little Paulie.

They made some headway with the supervisor, but the other guy, the inspector, he's a piece of work.

Next I'll get Sil on it.

Gotta pay a visit to the Montville building department.

To what end? I've been promising Carm I'd lean on this inspector.

Completely went out of my head.

The guy's name is, uh, Ron Senkowski.

Ginny Sack's brother, Anthony.

Ah, the lord of the lenses.

Actually we just started carrying these.

the newest Cross pen.

Hmm, a rollerball.

You want a classic fountain? Nah.

Have a seat.

So how's your brother-in-law? John's f*ckin' made of steel.

I was told your ears only.

Oh, that's why he didn't get a pen? - No, I - He's f*ckin' with you, Anthony.

Johnny's a silent partner in this heavy equipment leasing thing in New Orleans.

Good.

Fema's down there handing out Krugerrands in buckets.

He said post-Katrina you had some knowledge of business and the area.

Well, let me say this.

d*ck Cheney for president of the f*ckin' universe.

On account of John's, uh, liquidity problems the asset freeze he'd love you to contact these brothers, the owners, and turn it into cash.

- Me? - Says Phil Leotardo shouldn't be involved.

Just know John's asking as a friend.

And obviously there's a finder's fee.

What the hell's this, a siesta? What? I wasn't sleeping.

I was resting my hips.

I'm supposed to have surgery.

Am I early? - What do you mean? - Dinner.

I am interviewing a new contractor for my spec Bill Degillio.

He built the Sacrimoni house.

He did decent workmanship.

Ginny says he works for a price.

- So? - Well, your sister loves that house.

She said it reminded her of a villa in Italy.

What, is he coming here now? I picked up a couple of sandwiches from Italianissimo.

You know, your father did this house and it was more than decent workmanship.

You think about replacing him before you rush off into something that could maybe cost you a lot more of your time.

Why do you suddenly care so much about my dad? And I like that she has these little projects and charities, what have you.

Makes her happy, keeps her busy.

But even in bed she's a million miles a way.

Sounds like you want to encourage her with this house as long as it doesn't interfere with your life.

Carmela and me, we We came to an understanding when we reconciled I would financially back her spec house and she would have more of a don't-ask-don't-tell policy towards my work and my recreational life outside of the home.

But you tell me there hasn't been much recreating since the sh**ting.

No, and that's okay.

f*cking Janice came to visit me at work.

That doesn't happen often.

Well, she shops for meat there.

We get it free.

And by the way, again, if you ever need a roast or any specialty kind of cut, please just ask.

my dad used to drop us off there when he had to run errands.

We'd go into the back and we'd steal cigarettes, play house, you know, sh*t like that.

Anyway, she was all upset.

She said that I was mean to her and her husband.

- What did you say? - Well, it doesn't matter, 'cause she's right.

I love it when I can take a sh*t on her and her husband.

What's that about? Even when they told me that Uncle Jun' might need diapers, I thought about Bobby having to change him.

I still get a kick out of it.

It makes bob seem weak? Your sister too? These are acts of kindness.

Janice only does acts of Janice Trust me.

You two have never really gotten along? Well, not never.

she was my older sister.

I thought she was pretty cool.

And she gave it back to my mother.

Let me tell you, that was some heroic sh*t.

Because she defended you.

Please.

It was every man for himself.

I remember one time my parents left her in charge.

Go ahead.

Well, she stood in the hallway and she tape-recorded Me and barb having a fight.

And she held that cassette tape over my head for a month.

f*ckin' extortion.

Made me make her bed, get her sh*t.

Did she do that to Barbara too? Well, that's not the f*ckin' point.

I've been coming here I don't know five years now and you still don't understand what it means to tape somebody in my family? You still don't f*cking get this? Listen, as far as that thing goes the coffee with the chicory - What the f*ck is that? - Oh sh*t.

I suck at talking like this, John.

I'm sorry.

Our friend with the stomach.

In town or near home? Your neighbor.

- A.

S - Yeah, all right.

Just say, "the thing I asked you to do.

" "The coffee with the f*ckin' chicory.

" - Is he gonna get it for me? - Yes.

Bad news is he wants Not seven.

All right.

Done.

Did you pick up the birthday cake for gin with the marzipan flowers? The stuff behind the pool? No, an actual f*ckin' cake.

It's her birthday.

- What are you doing? - I'm comin' with you.

okay, but stand clear.

- What's going on? - Pastor heard water running, Went down, basement's flooded and they're trying to shut down the pipe.

But the pastor's trapped, standing on a milk crate.

- Anybody go get him? - There's an arcing wire hanging.

These assholes skipped a conduit when they remodeled.

I spent years as a contractor.

Electrical is where I got started.

Way to go, Vince! What the f*ck did I tell you? f*ck you.

The guy was gonna get cooked.

What are you trying to be, a big man? - Back the f*ck off! - What the f*ck, Jim? Boys, boys, calm down.

Okay, now let's cut the bullshit, get the water turned off And pump out the damn basement.

I gotta say, I thought you guys were morons for doing this sh*t, But now I can see it's a f*ckin' rush.

You should join the department.

we could use another moron.

Of course it's a commitment, firefighting.

Every day it's there.

You have to have a passion, really.

I've got these bad hips.

supposed to have surgery.

Well, this is all bullshit talk anyway.

You're probably gonna forget this crap hole The minute you hear from your publisher.

Hey, darts! Five bucks a point.

Who's in? Nah.

It's almost midnight.

Where the f*ck you guys going? - Let's play some poker.

- Hey, you did great.

Back where I come from the night's just startin'.

Good night.

Good week, even with the f*ckin' dolphins.

Night, boss.

Get his joint.

You know who the f*ck I am? You b*at, n*gga.

what? You come out the bookie's? You a winner or a loser? You're making a big mistake.

Damn! Three G's.

You got what you want.

Please don't.

I got kids.

Yo man, look at his mouth.

Look at his f*ckin' mouth! f*ck this.

Do him.

Do him now.

Jesus, no.

please.

No, please.

sh*t! What the f*ck are you doing, man? Why you pull that trigger? Well, according to John, the retail value of bayou leasing is around six mil.

Seem about right? - Between five and six.

- Let's do this again, Cher.

Well, you're gonna have to find a buyer and deliver John's half to me and in about 30 days, give you a chance to get a couple of bidders.

- His half? - Yeah.

I don't think that's up for debate.

Had you controlled your f*ckin' football jones we wouldn't even have no f*ckin' silent partner.

That man floated me 50 grand.

50.

Next thing I know he's buying in for half a f*cking million.

Look at him sitting there like they don't do this sh*t every day.

You took John's loan.

he helped you expand.

Now it's time to cash in.

Listen, Mr.

Soprano, that's what I've been saying all along.

You know, you two don't seem like brothers.

In-laws.

He married my little sis.

but I had to come all the way to New Jersey to get truly f*cked.

You know, I'm doing this as a favor to John.

And I don't need another headache.

So do we got a problem here? No, sir.

I'm buying a boat.

Now you fancy yourself a businessman.

Would you sell now with all that money pouring into New Orleans? John Sacrimoni asked me to.

well, we're very different people.

- Yeah.

- Heard about Bobby Bacala? Yeah, my sister called with the breaking news.

That f*ckin' part of Newark Even the cops don't go there no more.

So you heard everything.

Doctors said the slug blew bits of sidewalk into the eye there.

Yeah, I heard.

- But they're optimistic.

- Right, doctors.

It's always good news till it ain't.

Speaking of that, whatever the f*ck happened to you with the prostate? Well actually, T, I've been dealing with some sh*t.

Cancer, to tell you the truth.

What the f*ck, Paulie? It was early.

Maybe I caught a break.

Still encapsulated.

I'm taking a course of radiation to knock the PSA back into the single digits.

Well, are you all right? The hair and sh*t? Heh, knock wood.

I must have done good things in my life.

Yeah.

All right.

The cancer your ears only.

Absolutely.

You hear about Bobby? - Yeah.

- Should've seen him.

Put a patch over his eye like Hathaway.

He was really rattled.

Still, let's face it, it was kind of stupid to be out there that late.

Ton', cops don't even go there no more.

Anyway, Bobby's vision's f*cked now.

They're hoping the repair will take.

He could be a candidate for a cornea transplant.

He should be a candidate for brain transplant.

To his credit, all he was thinking about was straightening up for the week.

f*ck that honor and loyalty sh*t.

It was a maneuver, Carlo, 'cause he knew it was his own f*cking fault.

What? Don't give me that look.

Including the wife's I.

R.

A.

And his pension, we'd go for 240 months.

Makes trial seem like a risk worth taking.

Have you seen the discovery evidence? You came to us.

My client insisted the house is off-limits.

He wants his wife provided for.

So what do you have in mind? Renee, again, the sh*t that has nothing to do with him: the house, the I.

R.

A.

, the Yukon, the deed on the daughter's condo.

- And 12 years.

- For a conspiracy to commit m*rder? Get back to me when you're sober, Ron.

It's broken.

Wanna switch? Oh no no.

I'm good.

Carm just called.

she's still getting her folks in the car.

Where's Barb and Tom? I asked them to bring wine.

We'll see how long that takes.

Did you take the vicodin? Giants, huh? f*cking blowing 'em out.

As long as they don't b*at the spread.

- Where are you going? - Out.

The giants are kicking ass here.

- I'm going to Eric's to watch the chargers.

- What channel's that on? Some people aren't too cheap to buy the satellite package.

Sit down.

This is a Giants house.

- I hate the f*cking Giants.

- Ho! what'd we say about that language? A.

J.

didn't have to come to Sunday dinner.

A.

J.

has a job.

do you wanna go get a job? Go ahead.

But first go get your last report card and read it out loud to everybody.

no? I thought so.

Now go finish your Spanish report before dinner.

Set the table, honey.

My brother-in-law almost got his f*cking eye put out.

Some f*cking crackhead animals.

- That is terrible.

- Yeah, it is, but Jesus Christ, it's one thing after another with her family.

You mean the bad luck? Or do you feel like somehow they deserve it? I don't know, but f*cking Janice attracts drama.

she creams over the misery.

Does she remind you of anyone? When we were growing up, she had something, you know.

She She had beautiful hair and she was built and guys her age were always buying me ice cream, giving me baseball cards, kissing my ass to get in good with her.

Sounds a little like jealousy.

No guy wants his sister to be the town pump.

You weren't sexually threatened? Oh, Jesus Christ, will you make up your f*cking sick mind? First it's my mother.

now I wanna f*ck my sister? It's normal, not sick, that she functioned as the focus of your early sexual feelings.

In fact, it was probably mutual.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You describe her as "built.

" All those afternoons in your father's office, playing house.

Whatever your bond, what happened between then and now? She fought it out with my mother and finally took off first minute she could.

What if you had taken off? Well, that never would have happened 'cause I wasn't like that.

i did what I was told.

Your father's son.

Yeah, at's right.

And all that went with it.

That's right.

all the success and the money.

But beyond that, what else did you inherit? I'll tell you what I inherited my mother.

Janice got laid.

She took off.

She laughed at all this sh*t.

Then the trip's over and she's back and she's one of us.

And she wants her piece.

Well, let me tell you, she get nothing! 'Cause I got the scars! so it's mine! What are you doing? Cooking.

How was the call? It was nothing.

it was a laundromat on Webster.

Thought I'd make a little dinner like we do back home.

We got pasta badan macaroni and potatoes, real peasant food.

We got a little salad.

Then pork chops and vinegar peppers.

I f*ckin' miss this sh*t, I gotta say.

I can see why.

You gotta wait for that.

- What? - Nothing.

I just realized the other night when you cut the power to the church I was a real d*ck.

Yeah.

But it was only because I was worried, you know.

Something could've happened to you.

That's a nice thing.

You don't understand.

Vincent, I love you.

I love you, Johnny Cakes.

10:30, gotta be.

Hour and half, lunch.

The halfway f*ckin' point.

Don't look at your watch.

not yet.

Save it.

treat yourself.

10:50, maybe 10:55.

Don't look.

Think of those sandwiches Jim made.

When you've eaten the last bite, this f*ckin' day is halfway gone.

11:30, has to be.

Look at the angle of the sun.

Maybe even 11:45.

Okay, look.

Now.

f*ck me! Vincent? Jiggle the toilet after.

Vincent! Vincent.

Moment of truth.

It's still up to the judge, But they're gonna recommend 15 years and $4.

1 million.

You keep the home, the 45k in equity from the girls' variable life insurance, and Ginny's I.

R.

A.

which is worth about 110 grand.

- And? - That's it.

Or go to trial.

You're a young man.

In 15 years, you'll be 67.

The golden years.

Grandkids.

Do I have to to do the allocution? You know the allocution is always part of it, practically the whole point.

I'll take it.

That I.

R.

A.

of Ginny's she worked the tie counter at Wanamaker's.

That's where we met.

No mocha mix? I was looking forward to fresh blueberries this morning but mom hasn't shopped.

What are you doing hanging around here? Finn asked me into the city to see a movie, but I didn't want to go and I told him he could go if he wanted to and he went.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

Don't give it to me, okay? I know.

I'm sorry.

It's just He doesn't f*cking get it.

I don't even know what he's thinking lately.

He spends more time at Jeffrey's apartment than with me.

Come on.

you know who's really good to talk to about stuff? Your mother.

This whole year off together, I've seen such a selfish side.

"I'll come back early.

" he said that.

he actually said that.

All right, well maybe he thought you wanted him to go.

I mean, you did say it.

Yeah, or maybe subconsciously he's done.

We sleep together at Jeffrey's apartment, and Finn sleeps on the floor half the time and I'm right there for him.

Okay, well, honey, when you're living in sin with some guy, - You can't expect - Living in what?! Jesus Christ.

You should talk to your mother about this sh*t! Did you go see that guy at the building department yet? I was going to go on Friday when the schedules are looser.

Well, don't.

f*ck! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Jesus.

Are you all right? What the f*ck are you doing parked out here? Excuse me? I'm getting my mail.

You're driving like a maniac.

My God.

How come your airbags didn't go off? Somebody took it out.

They sold it.

Sold it? Who would do such a thing? Look, I'm really sorry.

I was in a rush.

So you admit it was your fault.

Yeah, absolutely.

Let me get the damages here and I'll be on my way.

Mmm, we should file a police report.

- You got a phone? - No, seriously.

What do you say, 500 bucks? Look, I took the worst of it.

and then you call your insurance on me? No, thank you.

I'm not gonna do that.

Six? Look, I don't want an argument here.

My place is just up the drive there.

We'll call the police.

they'll come right out.

Turn on your hazards.

Let me get my registration.

m*therf*cker! f*cking cock-sucking c**t! f*ck! Tony! Hey! I was just coming to see you.

I'm on my way home.

It's just I haven't heard from you.

Uh, the fuckhead from fuckland? - Yeah.

- It's gonna be too much effort.

well, John was really counting on this.

And Ginny needs the money, for Allegra, for the family.

What? He changed the terms.

What, a bigger piece for his fat mouth? No, smaller, actually.

But it's the house.

He wants you to unload it to his sister at a reduced price.

Half, actually.

But the New Orleans thing They'll knock 2% off his finder's fee and he'll make sure those pricks sell.

I guess beggars can't be choosers.

And the worst part is I gotta sell the idea to Ginny somehow.

Gab took me to her Moroccan tile place.

By the way I don't wanna pester you Did Sil make a visit? Yeah, I meant to tell you.

He didn't have any luck with that inspector.

Really? You're kidding.

No.

Sorry about that.

Did he bring him a gift? Cash.

So how hard did he lean on the guy? Carm, Sil knows his business.

Look, I know you're disappointed, but I just gotta put this out there Just sell it.

you'll get a good price.

So that's it? you you just give up? I don't think I ever heard that before.

Look, the guy said no.

How far do you wanna push this thing? Oh, those sons of b*tches.

All my planning for a f*cking year! And they let people build those f*cking monstrosities! You wanna go out to dinner tonight at least? Why not put a runner here or a large diameter round oriental? It could cut down on the echo and warm it up.

Well, I'd rather we spend on what we have to right now.

Window treatments.

Mr.

Sacrimoni, during the time period beginning approximately January 1, 1996, through today, were you employed by or associated with the New York faction of an organized crime family of La Cosa Nostra? Yes.

Sacrimoni allocuted in federal court, admitting at least a 10-year connection with La Cosa Nostra.

f*cking nauseating! Could have been worse.

he could have flipped.

Are you f*cking kidding me? You don't ever admit the existence of this thing.

Ever.

He should have stood trial like a man.

I did 20 f*cking years.

What? Johnny Sack pleaded guilty.

It was just on the radio.

He got 15 years.

f*ck! Hey! Hold on.

Wait a f*cking minute.

- Are you the owner of this vehicle? - Yeah.

I got a spot in the garage.

I went in for a half an hour, tops.

Douche bags make that a red zone? This is a seizure order for all assets belonging to John Sacrimoni.

No no.

I bought it from his wife.

Well, if she sold it, she violated a court order freezing his assets.

Of course she sold it.

I paid her f*cking 25 grand cash.

It's going to be auctioned in May up in Parsippany.

You like it so much, buy it again.

This is f*cking insane, you cock-sucking m*therf*cker! Keep talking like that.

I'm gonna get a truck out here for you.

To think that piece of sh*t was my friend once.

I hope he dies in there.

You know how this looks? I wish I was on the courthouse steps to throw acid in his face, just to distance myself.

Excuse me, Tony.

I've been meaning to ask you I was just wondering about the Sacrimoni place.

What about it? Well, now that Mr.

Sacrimoni is guilty, do you think I could maybe take him off my route? What the f*ck did you just say, Sal? I don't know.

The f*cking lawnmower man just said John was guilty, T.

He pled guilty, Sal.

Okay? Yeah, okay.

With this government, no f*cking trial.

Maybe they stuck tasers on his balls and b*at him mercilessly with a rubber hose.

- Ever think of that? - No.

But of course, it makes sense.

Don't besmirch the man, Sal.

So about the yard do you believe this f*cking guy? You're done with that.

Come on.

Let's go check out these DVDs.

Mead, put the Cavatell' in.

- Hey there.

- Hi.

- Where's Christopher? - He went out to an AA meeting.

- Tony.

- Yeah.

I just wanted to say thank you.

You're welcome.

No one's ever done something so so it's okay, Janice.

Really.

- Hey Tony? - Uh-huh.

You got the wine? We're almost ready.

Hey, what happened? Jan.

No one knows what goes on in my head.

What's the matter? What happened? She's happy about the house.

Oh, honey, it's okay.

It's okay.

- Come on.

you okay? - Oh yeah.

- You all right? - Yeah.