16x02 - Back in the Saddle

[bunniefuu]

Grey's Anatomy - 16x02 - Back in the Saddle


[RAYELLE X LUCKY DROPOUT'S "I FEEL GOOD" PLAYS]

MEREDITH: When we get sick, our bodies launch a coordinated defense.

It's called the immune response.

♪ Get caught up in the mood while I got the chance ♪

♪ I just wanna move ♪

♪ I just wanna dance ♪

[GASPS] They scheduled my hearing.

- And...?
- ♪ I just wanna feel good ♪

"The medical commission will gladly expedite your process and give you the date of..."

That's in three months!

Okay, well, that's...that's not that bad.

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

I'll have to go to the Department of Corrections to get a day off to see if I'm still a doctor.

You should go dressed like this when you go.

[CHUCKLES] It's good, right?!

It's an impressive fashion statement.

It's my disguise.
Once a germ's detected...

Have a nice day.

- Oh, look out for needles.
- Thanks. Yeah.

...a team of white blood cells, proteins, and chemicals

swarm to mount an att*ck.

You a doctor?

For the moment.

I was wondering if maybe you could take a look at this.

ROBIN: Time to go, people.

Steam burn from an iron. I work at a dry cleaner's.

They told me to run it under cold water,

- but it blistered.
- [BELL DINGS]

They should've sent you to the doctor.

Is it bad?

Well, it's definitely infected.

It needs debridement and antibiotics.

So, are you gonna give me that stuff or what?

These cells catch up to the invaders and latch on,

destroying them in their wake.

People, let's go!

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

Or at least that's what they're supposed to do.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I, uh... I don't know what the special occasion is, but, uh, I want it noted

I do not miss the green smoothies.

The occasion is that I have no joy.

My best surgeons work elsewhere, and Catherine gave away my job.

Oh, but you still have a job.

Mm, I have a job, but then a man, a man who I can't stand, has another job, and he has a title above my job.

Where's my joy, Ben?

Let me tell you something about the woman I married.

She don't let anything stop her.

No surgery, no intern, and certainly no man.

Now, you go back in there, and you take your joy back.

The body's ability to come back

depends on what you have to fight with...

[LAUGHS]

- ...and how strong you are.
- [SIGHS]

♪ I feel good ♪

You don't have to go back to work if you're not ready.

Mm, it's time.

It's time for me to go back and let everyone stare at me like I'm some rare, delicate bird that might shed all my feathers and fly naked through the hospital at any moment.

[LAUGHING] I would definitely like to see that.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, you can always come work for me.

Nobody knows who you are or what happened.

You could run your own fellowship, be your own boss, keep all your feathers.

My therapist, Michelle, says it's important that I try to return to the life I left, you know, revisit my routine without changing things up too much.

You just don't want to work at Pac-North.

Mm. [CHUCKLES]

AMELIA: Is it appropriate for me to tell Link in a text?

So I can avoid having to look him in the eye while I say, "Hey, remember how careful we were? Not careful enough, Daddy!"

[CHUCKLES]

You kept medical textbooks here?

I like to study.

It was a sex thing, wasn't it?

Look, you're a decent person,and Link is a decent person.

He deserves a face-to-face.

[SIGHS]

Is it poor form for me to steal all the toilet paper since I'm the one who always bought it?

Mm, I already stole two protein bars.

Ew, yikes.

"Yikes"? What, "Yikes"?

Nothing.

I... Jackson posted a sunset photo from his balcony last night.

Oh, let me see it.

[SIGHS]

♪

"#Freedom"?

I said, "Ew."

♪

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Emma Griggs, report...

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Hey. Hey.

First day back, right?

Yeah. Morning, Tom.

Oh, sh**t.

Is this weird for you?

We've all shared the same, mm, how should I say it?

- You shouldn't.
- Pastimes?

- Lady friends?
- [SIGHS]

- You have poo on your collar.
- What? Where?

Made you look.

- Oh, you are such a stand-up guy.
- [SIGHS]

Leaving Teddy all alone in a motel with a new baby.

What are you still doing here, Tom? Hmm?

Don't you have a job back in Baltimore, or did you lose that, too?

[CHUCKLES] That's a funny way to talk to your boss.

What, Teddy didn't tell you?

Tell me what?

Oh, since your friends went rogue, Catherine made me God of this place.

So, practice kneeling.

Maybe throw in a few prayers.

Hmm.

[SIGHS]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Oh. Oh, no.

After me.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Nice of you all to finally show up.

We're gonna do things differently today.

Keep up or get out of my sight.

-year-old male, presents with weakness of the hips after walking short distances and erectile dysfunction.

Who do you think's gonna have to clean the window after this?

Whoever asked that question.

Now, someone tell me what to do first.

Check distal pulses, ABIs.

And if needed, proceed with CT Angio.

Who is he? Who are you?

He's Koracick's protégé.

Fifth year from Hopkins.

We are rounding, not talking.

Now, physical exam revealed non-palpable femoral pulses, low ABIs, and the angio shows near-complete blockage of blood flow in the distal aorta.

- Diagnosis?
- TOGETHER: Leriche syndrome.

Leriche syndrome.

Little late, Qadri.

They're three years ahead of us.

[CHUCKLES]

See, uh, you all have been sulking around for the last month since I made changes to the attending staff.

But Alex Karev and Meredith Grey are my creations.

I made them the surgeons they are.

And I will make new ones.

So, do you want to be the new Grey and Karev, or do you want to keep making excuses?

- I want to be Grey.
- Karev!

Grey and Karev would have been studying the case by now.

Go.

Ah!

♪

MAGGIE: I want it noted that I would never send a message through Instagram because I am mature.

Very mature.

But if I did, it would be "#Happier,"

"#INoLongerHaveToPlaySmallToThreatenMen AndTheirThreatenedEgoes."

Mine would be "#JokesOnMe."

I just told Link I didn't want to fast-track our relationship.

You're sure I have to tell him?

- [TIRES SCREECH, HORN BLARES]
- Whoa!

- [SIGHS]
- You're right.

I know. I have to.

- MAN: Go, go, go, go!
- Aah!

[GROANING]

♪

[GROANS]

The hits just keep coming.

- I'll page Hunt.
- [GROANING]

Sir? Sir? Lay still.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

MAN ON P.A.: Dr. Richie to Peds.

Dr. Nancy Richie, report to Peds.

Hey, happy first day!

Is it?

You hired me as general surgery residency director.

I've met only two residents.

Where are the rest of them?

There are only two in the entire program.

Huh? And none of the attendings want to put those two residents on their service.

What was the word they used to describe them?

Oh, right. "Incompetent."

And would you like to know what the residents said?

I feel like you're gonna tell me.

They are so overworked with scut they don't have time to hone their mediocre skills.

All right, isn't this why I hired you?

I need a class of more than two residents, Karev!

I need a skills lab for them, a core curriculum, visiting professors.

- Chief Karev?
- You know what...

There's an inspector upstairs who says the helipad elevator isn't up to code.

[TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]

Did you know this hospital was ranked number one?

- What decade?
- This one.

It's number one in mortality rates, physician burn-out, patient dissatisfaction, and malpractice claims.

A bunch of suits gave me a big pile of money, and you said I could turn it around.

This was your idea. So help.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

You said I'd have an office!

Sir? Sir, I'm Dr. Hunt.

- [GROANS]
- Do you have any pain in your neck?

A little, but more in my chest.

It's fine. I'm okay.

C-collar's secured.

- [GROANING]
- Okay.

The scooter... Is it totaled?

AMELIA: I'm gonna say yes.

Ohh, I stole my girlfriend's credit card for the rental.

Well, she bought it now.

- We ready to move?
- Yeah.

On "three." One, two, three.

- Let's go.
- [GROANING]

Don't embarrass me.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Um, W-Wade Foltz, suffers from Leriche syndrome.

Due to a build-up of plaque in his arteries, he no longer has sufficient blood flow to his legs and his, um...

Gentleman parts?

Sure.

History includes a pack-a-day smoker for years, elevated BP for , and adhesions from a sigmoid resection due to repeated bouts of diverticulitis.

- Hmm.
- [CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

How long have you been symptomatic?

MAN: [CHUCKLES]

Well, I went to my, uh, doctor about a Viagra prescription about nine months ago.

Schmitt? Something you'd like to share?

Um... patient emergency.

Then what are you still doing here?

♪

DeLuca?

Right. Uh, today we'll be doing a surgery called an axillary bi-femoral-bypass.

We will essentially be creating a tunnel from your armpit down to your groin with a graft, which will then redirect blood flow to all of those, uh, poorly perfused areas.

Okay, trauma one's free.

- MAGGIE: Be right there.
- Yeah.

MAN: I heard about the parking lot.

- Everyone okay?
- Uh, we are fine.

He is hemodynamically stable with no neurological deficits.

Hey, how's freedom?

- You enjoying it?
- What's that?

- Oh, no.
- The sexy firefighter.

She's freedom, right?

Freedom from having to live with someone who intellectually challenges you?

A surgeon dating a firefighter.

You get to feel superior all the time.

Nice.

It wasn't. That was the point.

- Hey.
- Ah.

Maggie, I should...

- Yeah.
- If you or Owen need me, just page.

- Go.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Wendy Bliss to Oncology. Dr. Wendy Bliss to Oncology.

Let's call X-ray.

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

Hi.

Hey!

Uh, uh, could we go somewhere private?

Uh, not that kind of private.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh. Oh! Bad private?

No. No. I just...

You-met-someone-else kind of private?

Pregnant, actually.

[LAUGHS]

I know! It's absurd!

But it's also true.

Uh, judging from my last period,

I'm thinking eight weeks or so.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

And, um, I'm not asking you for anything.

I just want to avoid any kind of secret-keeping or hand-wringing.

Uh, also, I don't have the best track record with pregnancy, which is a story I should probably tell you.

- [CELLPHONE VIBRATING]
- Um...

Head trauma coming in. I gotta go.

Can... Can we finish this later?

Okay.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

Dr. Bailey! Chief! Hi. Hi.

Karev?

I didn't know you were coming back today.

I didn't know if you were coming back at all.

Thank you, for all of your help last month.

I was in bad shape, but I am better now.

I'm rested, and I'm seeing someone on a regular basis and...

I mean I didn't know if you were coming back to Grey-Sloan.

I thought you might join the other Dr. Karev in his new... endeavor.

Oh, well, he did offer me my own fellowship,

- with no oversight, but, um...
- Did he?

Well, as it happens, my plate is fuller than ever with all the groundbreaking things we do here.

So, um, I will need to take a step back from the fellowship, and give you more free rein to pursue and develop as you see fit.
Does that sound appealing?

[CHUCKLES]

Um...

I-I...

Take the day. Think about it.

Let me know.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[SIGHS]

Uh, I-I'm sorry.

How... How... How do you know Meredith?

Community work crew.

She said to come here, ask for Dr. Webber.

He would get a CT of my head.

Uh, what's wrong with your head?

I was running really fast, away from these people, because they thought that I had stolen someone's car.

- But I...
- Uh, you know, n-never mind.

Uh, uh, hang tight.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Brown to Imaging. Dr. Brown to Imaging.

I need a pen.

Uh, where are the CT orders?

- Uh, CT's out.
- What do you mean, "out"?

Broken, I guess.

Well, shouldn't we close to trauma, then?

[SIGHS] What?

Should we close to trauma?

Look, I asked an hour ago, but, uh, rigs keep showing up with some more patients.

- Oh, man.
- Do we have pens?!

- Any pens that work?!
- [SIGHS] Oh, my God.

Hey, are you Dr. Webber?

Um, can I help you?

I'm friends with Meredith Grey.

Dear God.

MEREDITH: So, what you want to do is go to Pac-North.

You want to see either Alex Karev or Richard Webber.

Tell them you're a friend of Meredith Grey's and you want to get an ultrasound on that leg.

- Okay.
- Okay.

You got my stuff?

Lidocaine, gauze, uh, scalpels, bandages, saline.

Am I gonna get arrested?

I feel like I'm gonna get arrested.

- For what?
- I just stole from the hospital.

I own the hospital. That's my stuff.

You just brought me my stuff.

Go set it up.

- Who's next?
- Hey!

So, not only are you not picking up trash, but these "patients" aren't, either.

Who are you?

I don't want to answer.

This isn't a walk-in clinic, Grey!

Get back to work.

Come on, let's go, guys.

Get back to work.

People, let's go!

Get back to work!

[GROANS]

How long have you had that lump on your neck?

I noticed it while you were swallowing.

It's a nodule. It's oval-shaped.

I could take a look at it for you if you want.

Or I could get back to work.

♪

Who can tell me the most difficult part of an a*-bi-fem bypass?

Subcutaneously tunneling the graft?

Wrong.

Your prize... rectals for the week.

Next incorrect answer gets to empty bed pans in the ICU.

Helm?

Uh, is it anastomosing the graft to the axillary artery?

Congratulations.

And that is why you see vascular instruments and PTFE grafts in front of you.

Dr. Bailey.

D... What?

Dr. Grey uses Dacron grafts.

And I don't. Is there a question?
I didn't think so.

For the rest of you, studies have shown that one synthetic material is not superior to another in this procedure.

Now, the first person to complete perfect anastomoses gets to do it in the OR.

♪

You just confirmed that it was the hardest part of the surgery.

Then if I were you, I'd start practicing.

♪

Joy.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Well, Reid, it looks like you've gotten away with a few fractures near your sternum.

You are extremely lucky.

I mean, so is she.

You're the one who hit me.

- Hit you?
- I could have d*ed.

You were the one who ran him over?

I-I was sitting still.

You were the one who recklessly scootered into my car, like a squirrel with a death wish.

[ALARMS BEEPING]

[GRUNTS]

Okay. No pulse.

- What the hell happened?
- Ultrasound. He was just stable.

Show me the films. And did you do an EKG?

No, I just saw rib fractures.

Okay. Let me see that.

Okay, cardiac tamponade.

Let's get a chest rig.

We need to open him up right away.

[MONITORS BEEPING]

♪

Link.

I am being treated like a commodity.

Like, I-I came back expecting rare-bird looks, and instead, I am being offered total creative control over my fellowship by two different hospitals.

[CHUCKLING] I mean, this doesn't make any sense.

Link? Hey. Are you okay?

Pregnant.

Amelia's pregnant.

From me.

Whoa.

Okay.

Have you two decided what you want to do?

We didn't get that far.

She, uh... She got paged to a case.

[SIGHS]

I guess she's got some bad history with pregnancy, so maybe she wants to keep it?

Turn your head.

I noticed it at my dad's birthday dinner, which was about a few months ago.

It hurt to cough.

My primary care physician looked at it.

You need to see an ENT.

That's exactly what she said.

But insurance took two weeks to authorize a specialist.

And when I called, the soonest they could fit me in was November.

Okay, well, I know someone who can see you right now.

The crew has two hours left in the day.

You have two hours left.

Who's gonna know if we leave?

I could lose my job!

Cancer, Robin.

This could be cancer.

Yep.

O-Okay. L-Let's go.

Schmitt, you're driving.

On my bike?

[AIR HORN BLOWS IN DISTANCE]

This is why I don't have a resident today?

- Bailey's holding boot camp?
- Mm-hmm.

Uh, without Grey, Karev, and Webber, the pressure is on to improve the caliber of the surgical department.

Sounds like a lot of work.

I prefer not f*ring people.

Also, I don't trust bottom feeders to touch patients.

- [WHISPERING] That's why I don't teach.
- [CELLPHONE VIBRATES]

- Hmm.
- It's a teaching hospital.

Oh. ER. Good. This is boring.

What does that man have over your mother?

Probably just saving her life.

Hmm.

Done!

Done! So done!

All right, Helm will do the anastomosis this afternoon.

- What?
- I am so Meredith Grey.

Dr. DeLuca, you'll still join us in the surgery.

Prep the patient and transport to OR .

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[CHATTER]

The patient has a fever...

Okay. ...no abdominal pain, the labs are normal, and a negative CT.

Yet you paged me, a surgeon.

Who should I page?

Anyone but me.

Mer, my ER's over capacity.

You need to send your street clinic to a different hospital.

- JO: Hey.
- Hey.

Everything okay? How's your day?

Uh, it's weird, for a couple reasons.

Um, Bailey made me the same offer you did... complete control over my fellowship.

Did you ask her to do that?

Is that, like, another pity offer?

What? No way.

Bailey hates me right now.

- Look, nobody's giving you any...
- Excuse me.

Hi.

Uh, you need to wait in the chairs.

Look, Jo, if you don't want to do the fellowship, um, I will make you full general surgery attending right now.

The only pity that needs to be shown is you coming here to help me.

I'm really sorry to bother you again, but the guy sitting next to me...

I think he's dead.

♪

I gotta call you back.

♪

Damn it!

Why is a rib fracture in a trauma room?

And furthermore, why is a rib fracture filleted?

Turns out the rib hit the heart.

MAGGIE: Suture. We need to temporize the bleeding.

We still don't have good pressure.

- Just give it a second.
- [ALARM BEEPING]

- V-Fib.
- Paddles.

Simms, come to trauma two.

See someone save a life without turning him into a sauté.

This guy can't die.

I could be charged with manslaughter or vehicular homicide.

- Clear!
- [PADDLES THUMP]

You didn't hit him. He hit you.

I can't go to jail right now.

Mer's already on the verge, and if I'm in jail and she's in jail, then Amelia has the kids and she cannot handle that right now.

What's wrong with Amelia?

Uh, nothing.

Charge to .

- Clear.
- [PADDLES THUMP]

[SIGHS]

RICHARD: So, he was just half dead in the ER?

Mm-hmm.

Left gastric artery's compromised.

There's a small area of necrosis here.

Karev, careful.
You're using too much traction.

If I go any slower, the entire stomach won't be viable.

And if you perforate it, he'll be more septic and die.

Do you want me to get someone else in here?

Because I'd be happy to tag out and get you another assist.

With one of your subpar residents? No, thank you.

My subpar residents?

I'm only here because you told me to come get this job.

I know this, Karev.

That doesn't mean I want to work here.

You told me to hire you.

I was minutes late for work this morning, and I'm never late.

I find it to be an indicator of laziness.

But I got into my car this morning, and I drove to Grey-Sloan because for the past years, that's where I've driven every day.

I spent more of my life in that building than in my own home.

It's where I was called "Dr. Webber" for the very first time.

I figured one day I would just drop dead in OR , and the thought of that made me happy.

So, no, Karev, I don't want to work here.

I want to work at my hospital!

That is no longer an option.

I started chemo when I was , then radiation, then more chemo, and so on.

I spent my entire childhood getting poked and prodded and listening to my parents fight.

Link, that's not gonna happen to your kid.

Your cancer wasn't even genetic.

It was random, which is... I swear to God it's worse.

There's no way to prepare.
I mean, forget cancer.

What sane person turns on the news and thinks,

"Oh, great, the... the polar ice caps are melting.

The planet is on fire, and all of humanity is whining on Twitter while doing exactly nothing to prevent any of it.

So, yeah, yeah, I should bring a baby into this world"?

Sometimes I forget how dark your dark streak is.

It's her choice, so, uh [CLEARS THROAT, SIGHS]

If she wants to have this kid, do I say any of this?

It's her body, her choice, yes.

But you're a person, too.
You get to weigh in.

[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]

[SIGHS]

It's Amelia.

[SIGHS]

Wait, Link.

You're an excellent friend.

And if it comes down to it, you will be an excellent dad.

♪

Jo, if people are treating you like a commodity, it's because you are.

[CHUCKLES]

♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Don't get fired, don't get fired, don't get fired.

Why are we in the parking lot?

It's a long story.

But don't you work here?

She used to work here.

It was a whole thing. Very dramatic.

Why do I think this must be related to why you're on my work crew?

It's not unrelated.
Can you hold still, please?

Are you trying to lose your medical license or what?

So, Robin, this is Dr. Avery,

- the ENT specialist I told you about.
- Yeah.

Hey, so, Robin has an enlarging mass in her neck.

Ultrasound is showing some concerning features.

You think you could do a biopsy for me?

- Now?
- It'll take you minutes.

I have surgeries scheduled.

She's got an appointment in two months with Clark at County.

- Clark's an idiot.
- Right.

- [SIGHS]
- Please.

I'll see if I can move some stuff around.

Will you not practice medicine in the damn parking lot?

Bailey's gonna see you.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN DISTANCE]

Okay. All right, let's start heparin, and then let's prepare for anastomoses.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Angled DeBakey, please.

I'll obtain proximal and distal control before performing the arteriotomy.

All right, now, remember, the artery is fragile, okay?

- So don't be too...
- Aggressive.

- Right.
- I know.

If anyone's gonna operate from the sidelines, DeLuca, it'll be me.

- Dr. Bailey!
- Yes?

I b*at her. I b*at her time.

Should have beaten her by more than one second, DeLuca.

Helm, let's get to it.

[SIGHS]

[PADDLES THUD, ALARMS BEEPING]

Oh, God. [SIGHS]

How many times have we shocked him?

and multiple rounds of meds.
Come on. Come on.

Another joules.

- [ELECTRICITY WHIRRING]
- Clear.

- [PADDLES THUD]
- [WHIMPERS]

If I wasn't blaming myself for this,

I would have called it by now, wouldn't I?

You would and you should.

Not only is he dead, but you've charred his heart.

- Give it up.
- Oh, God.

Let me try, Pierce.

Let's charge to , okay?

- [ELECTRICITY WHIRRING]
- And... clear!

- [PADDLES THUD]
- You know, if you two get off on this, take a set of paddles down to the morgue, but at least free up my trauma room. You hear me, Hunt?

- Charge again, and, clear.
- [ELECTRICITY WHIRRING]

- We got a rhythm!
- Ohh!

Let's push epi, and let's get him up to the OR now!

- [PADDLES THUD]
- [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] Aah!

Oh!

Aaaah!

- Oh!
- Crap.

No, no, no, no.

No. Mnh!

That son of a bitch tried to k*ll me!

Tom, you should really sit down.

I physically can't!

I had no idea you were behind me, Tom, and the paddles were still charged.

I was just trying to resuscitate the patient.

You hit him with joules of electricity.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Simms, go find him a bed and page urology.

Page Catherine Fox.

I'm not letting incompetence touch me.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Aah.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Also, disposable scalpels, bulk packages of bandages, a lot of x s, bags of saline.

Why are you telling me all this?

I'm a Gryffindor. I'm brave.

I'm scared all the time, but I am brave and sometimes stupid.

So, when Dr. Grey called, I went.

I just do not want to lose my license or go to jail.

So, when Chief Bailey asks me why I took those supplies,

I'm hoping maybe you could say you asked me for them.

[SIGHS LIGHTLY]

Fine.

Here's a sample.

Fine? Really?

Meredith Grey's a good friend and the best doctor I know.

I'm not scared of getting in a little bit of trouble if that means she's helping someone.

Also a Gryffindor.

♪

I named him Christopher.

I, uh, donated his organs, and it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

So, the thought of being pregnant again, um, the idea of reliving it, it just, um... it was always paralyzing.

That is why I am militant about birth control.

[SIGHS] I mean, I've honestly been on it for so long

I barely get a period anymore, which is why it took me a while to notice... this.

And I've had a long time to process it, to grieve him.

But... even though I, uh...

I'm in a privileged situation now, I'm... with my sobriety and with my career, and even though I could give a kid a good life,

I just don't think that's a reason to have a child.

And, um...

And even though the odds of what happened with Christopher ever happening again are like a million to one,

I...

I just...

I know I wouldn't survive it.

So, um...

Sorry.

[CRYING]

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

♪

And, uh, I know it's my body, but, uh, you are free to have feelings.

♪

Um...

[CLEARS THROAT] Um...

[SIGHS]

I've spent the day trying to wrap my head around this, um, imagining worst-case scenarios if we [SIGHS] actually went through with this, a-and I've got about a million of them.

Cancer, uh, global warming, g*n v*olence, antibiotic resistant superbugs.

But, um, talking to you now, looking at you, listening to you, and hearing what you have survived, I...

What I know I don't want is for anything to hurt you.

That feels real to me. That feels tangible.

And everything that scares me suddenly feels irrelevant.

So... if you want to have this kid, I-I will suck up my fears and I'll be a dad because [CHUCKLES]

Well, I mean, let's be honest.
Kids love me.

And, um, if you don't want it, I-I, um... I'll drive you to the appointment.

I will be there for you in every way I possibly can.

That's what I know.

That's [SNIFFLES]... That's my feelings.

[SIGHS]

♪

Damn it, Link!

[SIGHS]

♪

TARYN: And... done.

Ready to tie.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Awesome.

Time to remove the first clamp.

And flush the graft.

The graft is...

...good.

Mm-hmm.

Air's out.

Now for the second one.

[CLAMP DISENGAGES] [ALARMS BLARING]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Why... Why's he bleeding?

Where's it from?

Uh, seems to be coming from your suture line.

Suction. What?!

There's so much blood.

Do something. Fix it.

Why aren't you fixing it?!

Can you fix it?!

I don't know. Can I?

Oh, God. Ohh.

DeLuca.

He's bleeding out too fast, Bailey.

So, what do you do?

Aah...

Clamps.

I'll get proximal and distal control.

All right. Ahh.

All right, coming around.

- Prolene. Right now. Come on.

[ALARMS CONTINUE]

- Thyroid cancer?
- Papillary thyroid cancer.

It's the most common and the most treatable.

You'll need surgery, possible iodine treatments, but all of it's perfectly doable.

If it wasn't for you, I'd still be waiting two months to get checked.

And that's if I could afford the time off.

If I miss work, I don't get paid.

And if I don't get paid, I can't pay rent or I can't pay for my asthma medication.

Insurance doesn't cover the cost of the inhaler?

They'll cover one per month.

I shell out $ a month if I need another one, which I'm guessing may be cheap compared to what it costs to treat cancer.

We'll make sure you're given options to consider.

Yeah.

Bankruptcy or death.

Dr. Grey? Are you back?

Is she back?

I'm visiting a friend, Helm.

Walk, Helm.

♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

So, we were able to repair the hole in his heart, but it'll be a long road to recovery.

He steals my credit cards.

He lives in my apartment and eats my food.

Why do I stay with him?

Because at one point, things were good.

He made you laugh.
You were attracted to him.

And maybe a quiet part inside of you raised a red flag here or there, but you ignored it because dating in today's world is miserable.

It's digital and terrifying, and, let's be honest, the pickings are slim for an educated, independent woman.

So you stayed.

But, Tara, the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.

And maybe you think that he will leave first, but if he does that, then you'll just feel like a victim, which I think is worse than just ripping off the Band-Aid yourself.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Thanks.

Hey. Our guy's stable.
His wife's on the way.

Well, it's nice that one thing went right today.

Yeah.

Hey, Dr. Webber.

I-I didn't want to work here, either.

You know, at Grey-Sloan, I inherited a-a legacy.

Bailey's legacy, your legacy.

You know, I mean, every choice I made,

I heard your voice in my head... "Don't settle. Do better."

At Grey-Sloan, failing was our last option.

But here, failure's the culture.

But we can change that.

I mean, dying in an OR at Grey-Sloan is one plan, but maybe there is a better plan for you here.

A new legacy.

Help me turn this place around.

Help me do the impossible.

H-Help me prove Bailey wrong.

[SEEKER LOVER KEEPER'S "DEAR NIGHTTIME" PLAYS]

♪

Yeah.

Oh, I, uh... I almost forgot.

I had to pull some strings with maintenance, but, uh, ta-da!

Your office.

Karev! Do better!

♪ Walking down the road ♪

♪ And watching as the sun goes down ♪

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

♪

- ♪ Heading to the place I go ♪
- [BUTTON CLICKS]

♪ When I've got stuff on my mind ♪

♪

You're wrong, you know?

♪ No one's there, no one's around ♪

Excuse me?

What you said about Vic.

♪ Just this land and just this house ♪

She's really smart, Maggie, and she's brave.

And you're right.

She is different from me.

♪ No sound, no fuss ♪

I don't think that's a bad thing.

- ♪ No people waiting up ♪
- I'm sorry for what I said.

Even so, "#Freedom" is a little aggressive.

- ♪ Dear nighttime ♪
- I wasn't being consciously spiteful.

Unconsciously, then?

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

♪ My freedom, my freedom ♪

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

DELUCA: You hear that, Wade?

It's the sound of blood flowing through your body.

- That's good.
- That's right.

[MONITOR BEEPS]

Monitor proximal and distal pulses every hour.

[SCOFFS] Really? That's it?

Nothing else to say?

What? Oh, you want praise?

Um, good work, Dr. DeLuca.

You did your job.

You let someone who wasn't ready do the most critical part of his surgery.

I should have been doing that anastomosis from the beginning.

- [SCOFFS]
- But instead, you sidelined me because of my relationship with Meredith Grey.

Excuse me?

I aced that skills lab, Bailey.

My suture technique was far more advanced...

Helm needed the practice!

She needed the adrenaline and the fear because all of that is what makes you a surgeon!

And don't you dare question my methods!

This is not personal, DeLuca!
Unless you make it personal.

If I were you, I'd start thinking about my career and let go of certain... loyalties.

[SIGHS]

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Lawson, extension .

Dr. Lawson, extension .

Dr. Bailey? Hi, um, can you talk?

Is now a bad time?

I no longer have good times. What?

I've taken the day, and I've made my decision.

I want to be a general surgery attending.

I don't recall giving you that option.

Did Tom Koracick...

No one did.

Well, no one here did.

So, you're going to Pac-North?

That's up to you.

They've made me a tempting offer.

Your husband.

Their chief.

They believe that I'm ready.

I've trained under the best, and most of whom no longer work here.

I know how this place works.
I know how you work.

And I'm ready.

I would be an asset to any hospital.

The question is... do you want that hospital to be yours?

♪

♪

Let's go to my office.

♪

[WHISPERS] Yes.

♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Uh, hey. I wanted to apologize for the...

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'm sorry, Tom, for the incident.

- Incident?
- Yeah.

You deep-fried my nads.

[SCOFFS] It was an unfortunate accident, Tom, and I am very sorry, so...

Actually, champ, I'm gonna need you to step back a few feet.

feet, if we're gonna be sticklers about it.

- Court orders.
- What?

I've obtained an emergency restraining order against you,

Hunt, due to acute emotional and physical distress.

- Restraining order?
- If you need any clarification, feel free to reach out to my attorney, Ron Brickman.

He can answer any questions you have.

He's a good friend, hell of a tennis player, actually.

Tom, we work together.

Shut the door on your way out, would you?

[SNIFFLES] Ohh.

[SIGHING]

Ahh.

[HORN HONKS]

...which is just a long-winded way of saying thank you for the offer, but I'm afraid I have to pass.

Wait. You took my offer to Bailey to get a better one?

It didn't feel that calculated in the moment, but basically.

I feel used. I know! I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But it's the smart choice.
The facility's better.

The tech is cutting-edge.
Higher-profile patients.

Look, you're making it sound like I'm the chief of a burger joint.

Someone d*ed in your waiting room.

Nobody d*ed.

Webber and I got to him in time.
He's fine.

[CHUCKLING] Okay, you're basically making my argument for me.

All right, just make sure you get a parking spot.

Bailey's really tight with them, so demand one.

She gave me yours.

After we've been sick or hurt, our bodies remember.

[ANDY GRAMMER'S "DON'T GIVE UP ON ME" PLAYS]

So, he had them in... His nuts?!

[LAUGHS]

♪ I will fight for you ♪

- Look, it's only funny because he's okay.
- Yep!

- ♪ I always do until my heart ♪
- We learn from the past and develop tools to help us cope.

♪ Is black and blue ♪

Basically, the more we go through something, the better we can handle it if it happens again.

♪ And I will stay ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

♪ I will stay with you ♪

♪ We'll make it to the other side ♪

- Hi!
- Hey.

♪ Like lovers do ♪

Now, I heard a rumor you were at the hospital today.

♪ I'll reach my hands out in the dark ♪

I, uh, stumbled across a patient at work crew.

I actually have stumbled across

- a lot of patients at work crew.
- ♪ I'll wait for you ♪

I know I got fired for trying to help a kid who fell through the cracks.

And as much as I try to keep my head down and lay low and just get through my hours, I keep coming across people who can't get the help they need because of the same crap.

They keep falling through the same cracks.

Okay, look, before you decide to do whatever it is you're doing, okay, jail sucks. It's not fun.

You're not gonna be able to see your kids or pee in private.

The water tastes like feet.
Should I go on?

Okay, I'm not planning on going to jail.

But what I'm planning to do is write about what I'm seeing.

- ♪ Even when nobody else believes ♪
- You want to publish?

I do.

You're about to face the medical board.

- I know.
- ♪ I'm not goin' down that easily ♪

Didn't the lawyer say to lay low?

Yes, but I-I-I don't think I'm capable of that.

♪ So don't give up on me ♪

[SCOFFS]

♪ And I will hold ♪

What?

- [CHUCKLES]
- ♪ I'll hold onto you ♪

Nothing. Nothing.

You're just very, very sexy when you're about to burn your whole life down.

- You know that?
- [BOTH LAUGH]

Our bodies are prepared to bounce back.

Or so we think.

♪ I'll reach my hands out in the dark ♪

♪ And wait for yours to interlock ♪

♪ I'll wait for you ♪

♪

♪ I'll wait for you ♪

Did I... say the wrong thing?

♪ 'Cause I'm not givin' up ♪

♪ I'm not givin' up, givin' up ♪

- I had made up my mind.
- ♪ No, not yet ♪

♪ Even when I'm down ♪

- ♪ To my last breath ♪
- Because I was scared.

♪ Even when they say there's nothin' left ♪

Of what happened with Christopher, and, um...

♪ So don't give up on ♪

...of doing this alone.

- And a million little things.
- ♪ I'm not givin' up ♪

♪ I'm not givin' up, givin' up ♪

♪ No, not yet ♪

♪ Even when I'm down to my last breath ♪

I was scared.

♪ Even when they say there's nothin' left ♪

- And then you said things.
- ♪ So don't give up on ♪

♪ I'm not givin' up ♪

That made you less scared?

- Less scared and a little bit in love.
- ♪ Even when nobody else believes ♪

It's probably just the hormones.

♪ I'm not goin' down that easily ♪

Probably.

- Please don't say it back.
- Okay.

♪ So don't give up on me ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

- You and I...
- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

- We'd make an amazing kid.
- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

And now I kinda want to meet that kid.

♪ I will fight ♪

Well...

- I kinda do, too.
- ♪ I will fight for you ♪

Sometimes an unknown throws the whole thing off.

♪ I always do until my heart ♪

♪ Is black and blue ♪