04x03 - Chapter Sixty: Dog Day Afternoon

[bunniefuu]

[BETTY]

Previously on Riverdale What were you doing in there?

I was praying.

My team's been investigating Edgar Evernever for quite some time now.

We had someone on the inside, someone tasked with getting close to Edgar.

[BETTY]

My mother is an FBI informant?

Charles, what if that means she's been found out?

You should go to Stonewall Prep, Jug.

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to go to a school that recognizes your talent.

Hey, are you Forsythe?

Yeah.

Bret Weston Wallis.

Mr.

Chipping asked me to roll out the red carpet.

The Lodge name is tainted.

But my mother's maiden name, Gomez?

I think I could work with that.

But I did see Edgar, and, Betty, he's armed.

Edgar's digging in.

He's getting ready for w*r.

[MUNROE]

Sit your butt down and don't move.

[MALCOLM]

You need to chill out, okay?

Nothing happened!

- Everything all right, Munroe?

- Anything but.

Malcolm's been hanging out at the Wipeout Arcade.

So?

That place is crawling with dealers and fiends and I don't want him getting mixed up in that.

Didn't we say we were gonna turn this place into a community center, Red?

We are.

I still plan on it.

But life kind of threw me a curveball.

But you're right, feels like it's time.

[SIGHS]

[JELLYBEAN]

Found it.

[SCOFFS]

Well, we are certainly not in Riverdale High anymore.

Welcome to the Dead Poets Society.

Not a bad coop, boy.

Okay, kitten, let's go find the vending machine and I'll buy you some Triple Bubble.

You still okay with this?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna miss you, that's all.

Well, you better take your breaks from me while you can, Cooper.

'Cause you and I are in this for the long haul.

Okay?

[VERONICA]

I don't know what happened.

I thought I wanted to sign the document and officially change my name to Veronica Gomez, but in the moment, I just couldn't do it.

Look, if it didn't feel right, it didn't feel right.

I still want to do it.

I just need to figure out who I'm going to be.

And you will.

In the meantime, you want to go with me to the gym?

I'm meeting with Ms.

Weiss about turning the place into a community center.

Of course.

Do we need to leave now?

I mean, we've got some time.

Jughead?

Moose.

(EXCLAIMS) What the hell?

It's good to see you.

Actually, it's, uh It's Marmaduke now.

Marmaduke?

Wait, are you my roommate?

What are you doing here, dude?

After my dad was arrested for impersonating the Gargoyle King, it, uh kind of blew up my life my family everything.

I kind of had a nervous breakdown.

I even ended up in a facility for a couple of months.

- Aw, man.

- When I got out, we decided it would be better if I started someplace new, someplace fresh.

So took a year off and I came here to play football and start over.

Well, are you feeling any better?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I You know, I feel like a person again.

Like this this darkness is off me.

But, please just keep this between us, okay?

If some of these guys got a whiff - of who I was - No.

Your secret is safe with me, Marmaduke.

Thanks, man.

And we'll need to be especially tight-lipped around Bret.

You rang?

Forsythe, welcome.

- Lovely to see you again.

- Yeah, and you too.

I see you've met our roommate.

Ah, yeah.

Marmaduke and I were actually just getting acquainted.

Well, it's about time for seminar.

Did you do the reading?

Munroe and I will group the kids for boxing and MMA lessons according to their age.

We'll keep the gym open until 10:00, so kids like my brother have a place to hang after school and keep them off the streets before they go home.

Oh, that all sounds wonderful.

I just want you to be aware of how much work this will actually entail.

And what about school, Archie?

Mr.

Keller will be here during the day.

Archie, when was the last time the gym had a safety inspection?

If this really is going to be a community center, there are updates you'll have to do.

At minimum, adding a second bathroom.

Oh, that sounds expensive.

We'll figure it out, Mom.

[CHARLES]

You're just in time.

Thanks to your friend Kevin's Intel, I've had this derelict motel under 24-hour surveillance.

According to city records, it's owned by one of Edgar's followers.

And look who's answering the front door.

Great.

If we know they are, then what are we waiting for?

Have you ever heard of Waco, Betty?

Charles?

Check this out.

Farm's been getting pizza deliveries every day about the same time.

We've got an agent in disguise about to make a delivery as we speak.

[STATIC OVER PHONE]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR ON PHONE]

[FEMALE FARMIE ON PHONE]

Yeah?

Who are you?

[FBI AGENT]

Sorry, I got lost.

Pizza delivery.

10 cheese, 10 pepperoni.

[FARMIE]

You're not our guy.

[MAN]

Go.

Take him!

- [PEOPLE STRUGGLING]

- [FBI AGENT GROANING]

[FARMIE]

Get him.

What was that?

- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

- [FARMIE]

Here we go.

Come on.

[g*nshots]

Echo, this is Charlie, do you read me?

Echo, do you read me?

[EDGAR ON RADIO]

Charles, is that you?

Sending someone in with a wire?

You're usually more clever than that.

I know all your secrets.

Don't send anyone else in or their blood will also be on your hands.

Wait to hear from me.

[SPOOKY CREAKING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

There goes your Nana Rose again.

I swear, it's like every night.

It's like she's scratching inside the walls.

[SIGHS]

Nana Rose is a restless spirit.

[RUMBLING]

Babe it worries me leaving the twins alone with her while we're at school.

Maybe we should hire caretaker for her.

And have a stranger living amongst us, sticking their noses into our business?

Absolutely not.

We're all doing just fine.

[BLOODCURDLING SCREAM]

Nana?

Nana?

Are you okay?

[GASPS]

Oh, Penelope.

There you are.

Thank heavens [WHISPERING]

I thought I saw the triplets burning in the fire.

Nana it's me, Cheryl.

And Juniper and Dagwood, the twins, are sleeping soundly in the nursery.

I'm looking at around 40 grand to pay for the renovations that the gym needs.

I hate to say it, again, but I could just lend you the money.

No, Ronnie, I don't want to take any more handouts.

I want to work for it.

I just need to figure out what that work can be.

We could host a charity concert.

Could have a bake sale?

You'd have to sell a lot of cupcakes.

[VERONICA]

Now, hold on, I think Bee's onto something.

Not a bake sale, per se, but, looking at you four strapping young men, there is another classic way to raise money.

["CAR WASH" PLAYING]

At the car wash Workin' at the car wash Girl Thank you.

Great work, Reginald.

every suburban housewife in the county is spreading the word about our sudsy fundraiser.

What can I say, I have a deep fanbase.

Yes, you do.

Work and work Well, those cars never seem to stop coming Work and work Keep those rags and machines humming Can't wait till it's time to go home Hey, get your car washed today Come on and give us a play Do the wash, right away What's the haul, Ronnie?

A little over four.

Grand?

That's great!

Hundred, Archie.

I think I overestimated the financial pull of your pectorals.

Hey, we're just getting started.

Maybe we do a Magic Mike night - [ARCHIE SIGHS]

- at La Bonne Nuit.

Or dare I say you boys go the full Monty?

[ARCHIE SCOFFS]

We'll figure something out.

We always do.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Oh, my God, Mom.

I was so worried.

[EDGAR ON PHONE]

No, Betty, it's me.

Edgar.

How did you get my mom's phone?

[EDGAR LAUGHS WICKEDLY]

I suspected we had a pretender in our midst.

When I [SNIFFS]

started cutting people's fingers off, your mother admitted to me it was her.

I have a list of demands.

[INHALES]

I'm listening.

I need $250,000, passports for all each and every one of my followers, food, water, and a bus for transport.

Why did you call me?

Why didn't you call Charles?

Because I think you'll have a better chance convincing him than I will.

You have five hours.

[SIGHS]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

Charles, I just heard from Edgar.

"My mother has asked me to help her with the turkey, and I wonder, vaguely, when she'll die.

" Discussion is open.

What is everyone's take on Bret's story?

In a word astonishing.

[JONATHAN]

Yeah, agreed.

It's brilliant.

Thank you, Jonathan.

What did you think, roomie?

Yeah, it was good.

It was good?

[CHUCKLES]

We've got a real Harold Bloom here.

Don't hold back, Jones.

I'm a I'm a big boy.

I can take it.

[CHUCKLES]

To be honest it wasn't really my taste.

I thought it was, uh Salinger-derivative.

Thank you for that constructive criticism, Forsythe.

You'd mind if I give you my thoughts on your story?

What was it?

The Gremlin King?

- The Gargoyle King.

- I thought it was a puerile, tawdry waste of time.

I mean [CHUCKLES]

it's pulp.

Pulp is not an insult to me.

Not to mention, your prose reads more like a pre-teen journaling about his abandonment issues than as a coherent narrative Hey, hey, hey, keep it clean, guys.

Taste aside, all good writing does have one thing in common Authenticity.

That's my problem, then.

I can't relate to Jughead's work because I'm not from his world.

I don't have any experience with lowlives, or criminals, - or trailer trash.

- Oh, no?

I could give you the crash course in about five seconds.

Jughead, there is a zero-tolerance v*olence policy at Stonewall Prep.

Do you hear me?

Nana?

Babies?

I'm home.

And who, pray tell, are you, interloper?

[CHUCKLES]

Hello, you must be Cheryl.

Hey.

Babe, don't get mad, but this is Darius.

He's a night nurse I found online.

I thought he could help with Nana and the kids.

[CHERYL]

Fine.

But you will do as you're told, nothing less, nothing more.

You may tend to Nana where she is, but you are not, repeat, not to go into the Blossom Chapel in the basement.

It is forbidden.

Sacred.

Don't sweat it, Dee, not even I'm allowed to go in there.

Do we understand each other, Darius?

Absolutely, Miss Cheryl.

Dude, there's a tie on the door.

I'm I'm just not used to this.

I'm sorry.

Donna?

I'm sorry.

Look, I'm not one for gossip, so I don't care if you are.

I'm not ashamed of anything I do.

But, a word of advice, newbie?

I'd watch your back around Bret.

Why?

What is his deal?

He's a diplo-brat.

Son of a diplomat.

Thinks that gives him immunity to do whatever he wants.

Like, b*at me up?

That's not how Bret fights.

Okay.

It's psychological with him.

And he's not afraid to play dirty.

Okay.

I'll take your advice.

Bye, Marmaduke.

Catch you later.

I'm sorry.

Look, I thought you were I like guys and girls.

- Cool?

- Yeah.

Totally.

I'll keep an eye on the doorknob.

What happened?

What did Governor Dooley say?

The same thing that he's been saying.

That we can't give Edgar what he demands and he will not negotiate with a cult leader.

Is he kidding?

What about Mom and Polly and all of the other Farmies?

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

[NERVOUSLY]

It's Edgar.

What do I say?

You need to buy us time.

Okay?

I'll walk you through it.

Hello?

Hello, Betty.

Did you get what I asked for?

[WHISPERS]

We're unable to meet any demands unless he releases a hostage as a sign of goodwill.

They want you to release a hostage first, Edgar, as a sign of good faith.

[EDGAR]

Betty, Betty, Betty I thought you would be smarter than this.

Working with people who don't share your same interests is a bad idea.

At any rate, anticipating that you and your partners wouldn't take my demands seriously, I've already released a hostage.

What?

- But - [PHONE DISCONNECTS]

What the hell is he talking about?

What What hostage?

Betty?

Polly?

[SCARED]

No.

Stop!

[TIMER TICKING]

Oh, my God!

Polly, stay calm.

We're going to figure it out, okay?

- Tell him to stay back.

- Charles, please.

Stay back.

[CRYING]

Please.

Please.

[CHARLES]

She's holding a dead man's switch.

If she lets go, the b*mb explodes.

Okay Uh, all right, Polly, I know Edgar must have said something to you, okay?

But it doesn't It doesn't matter.

I know you don't want to do this.

I know you don't want Juniper and Dagwood to grow up without a mom, or me without a sister, okay?

So, we're gonna figure it out, okay?

Okay.

What are we gonna Betty, look at the timer.

There's wires connected to the C4.

Three of those are decoys.

They'll trigger the detonator.

You need to find the one that's linked - to the f*ring circuit and the battery.

- And the battery.

Can I come up and check, Polly?

- [SOFTLY]

Yeah.

- Okay, okay.

Um The f*ring circuit and the battery.

- [POLLY WHIMPERING]

- f*ring circuit, battery.

Uh it's the yellow It's the yellow one.

- It's the yellow.

- Here, take these.

- So I have to Okay.

- [CHARLES]

Yeah.

[PANTING]

Careful.

It's going to be okay.

It's going to be okay.

It's fine.

[WHIMPERING]

It's going to be okay.

Okay?

[TIMER BEEPS]

- It's counting down even faster.

- It's a tripwire.

There may be a system override on the dead man's switch.

A pin connected to a chain, that slides beneath a hole.

It goes underneath the trigger.

- Polly, where's the pin?

- Edgar took it.

- Took the pin.

- Everybody, get down.

Betty!

What am I doing?

The detonator needs a pin.

Needs a pin.

Needs a pin.

- [POLLY]

No!

No!

- [CHARLES]

Betty!

Come on.

[CLICKS]

[BEEPS]

Oh [BREATHING HEAVILY]

It worked.

It's okay.

Scholars, I'm cancelling this afternoon's seminar.

Instead, we will be having an evening session.

You've each been given a copy of the same mystery story, with the final chapter omitted, in which the m*rder*r's identity would be revealed.

You're each to write your own version of the ending, in whatever style you choose.

We'll then read all the endings, and decide the winner by a vote.

Best story wins?

Challenge accepted.

What exactly will this so-called exercise prove, Mr. Chipping?

That there is no single way to tell a story, Donna.

So see you back here by 9:00 p. m.

Don't be late.

[MUNROE]

Red!

We gotta go.

We gotta get these guys, now!

What are you talking about?

Malcolm got jumped by some thugs for not making deliveries.

He wasn't even hanging at the arcade.

He listened to me, and he still got hurt, Red.

Is he going to be okay?

He's a tough kid.

He's seen worse.

Malcolm said that the thugs work for some guy named Dodger.

He recruits kids from the arcade, gets them to break into houses, make deliveries, jack cars All kinds of crap.

Riverdale's no place for people that prey on kids, so let's teach them a lesson.

Me and you.

Let's go down there, like old times.

I don't think that's such a good idea.

If you get caught, you might end up behind bars.

And you got your brother and your grandma depending on you now.

I'll talk to FP, put this Dodger guy on his radar, and we'll let the cops take care of it.

But this place, this is how we're going to help Riverdale.

Polly, you have to help us stop Edgar.

There is no stopping Edgar.

You just have to do what he says.

Governor Dooley isn't letting Charles or the FBI negotiate with him.

Then just do it yourself.

Just get him what he's asking for.

Or what?

Or he'll start sacrificing his followers one by one.

What about Mom?

Where is she?

Is she okay?

If she's still alive, it won't be for long.

Unless you do what Edgar says.

I don't think I can get that much, Bee.

$250,000 is a lot to come up with.

I'm sorry, Vee.

I know that this is an insane ask, but I can't say anything more except that there are lives at stake.

It doesn't need to be cash, does it?

Those Glamourge eggs, they're worth $50,000 each.

That should do it.

Oh, my God, Vee.

Really?

Aren't those your dad's?

My mom's, actually.

Take 'em.

But How are you going to get the other stuff?

I know people.

What do you think?

[SIGHS]

You need fake passports for all these people?

They don't need to be fake.

Blank passports are fine.

They'll do everything else.

I really can't get into it, but it's a matter of life or death.

Okay.

I know a guy.

Thank you, Toni.

Ms. Cooper.

What is the emergency?

I'm sorry to bother you, Ms.

Bell, but I left my calculus book on the bus this morning.

I'm sorry, dear, but you'll have to pick it up tomorrow.

Mr. Fritz has already left for the day.

Oh, geez.

Well, if he's already gone [CELL PHONE RINGING]

[EDGAR ON PHONE]

Yes, Betty?

I got everything you asked for.

Let me in.

Well done.

I'll see you outside.

[CELL PHONE DISCONNECTS]

At last, we meet again.

[LAUGHS]

I got everything that you asked for.

Money, passports, food, water, it's all in the bus.

Now where's my mom?

Mmm [GRUNTS]

I knew you wouldn't fail me.

Oh Betty.

It is such a shame that you didn't accept the simple truths I tried to instill in you Edgar.

Where is my mom?

because without those truths Betty, all you're left with is pain.

[GRUNTS]

Nighty-night.

[LAUGHS]

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

Could you knock it off?

Sorry, am I distracting you from your genius?

Hey, Forsythe, I was wondering, is it common for gangs to have a writer among its ranks?

I mean, I suppose a kid like you needed something to call a family.

After all, weren't you just a little urchin wandering the streets after your mom ditched you and your good-for-nothing drunk of a father?

And, come to think of it, isn't your little sister a budding hooligan herself?

Only 13 years old, and already roped into your mom's drug business.

You're right.

I wasn't born in rarified air.

I didn't grow up with any silver spoons.

But my dad had the strength to turn his life around and become a sheriff.

And I have friends, and family that actually care for me.

Can you even say the same?

So why don't you try writing a compelling drama, instead of starting it?

Smithers?

Daddy?

You're supposed to be in jail.

Mija, I own that jail.

I come and go as I please.

I heard a nasty little rumor that you were dropping the Lodge name.

I've never taken the trash out, Daddy, but I know when something's rotten.

That name is mud, and I'm done with it.

Do you know who Jaime Luna was?

Doesn't ring a bell.

Yeah, well, Luna was my father's name, And Jaime Luna was the name of his only son.

Me.

I wasn't born Hiram Lodge.

I became him.

You have no idea what it was like to be a Luna in a town like Riverdale.

Everyone looked down on us because of that name.

So, I took a name that people would respect.

Lodge.

And when my father found out, he was angry, and he b*at me.

And I didn't understand it, because I didn't want his life, I wanted mine, my own name.

What was the big deal?

Well, mija, [SIGHS]

it is now in this very moment that I understand my father's rage.

Do you think that changing your name is going to wash away your sins?

It won't.

I'm not going down the same path as you did, Daddy.

You keep telling yourself that because you will always be part of this family.

It's in your blood.

And that doesn't wash out.

Don't bother changing the locks.

You can't keep me out.

Hey, can we talk?

Sure.

What's up?

I want you to come back to Chicago with me.

Mom You can finish your senior year there.

You can start again.

I don't want to start again.

And my best bet at going to college is on a football scholarship.

Otherwise, how would I even be able to afford college?

Your father and I started a fund for you when you were born.

What?

A fund?

I have money?

I was reluctant to tell you because I thought that you would want to use it on the community center.

Of course I would.

[SIGHS]

Archie, as noble an idea as that may be, do you really think that's going to make a difference here in Riverdale?

I mean, all the crime here, your friend Munroe's little brother beaten up by a bunch of thugs?

Is that really the town that you want to invest in?

No one is safe here.

Look.

I'm not going to give up on Riverdale the same way you did.

I moved to Chicago because I couldn't find a job here.

And don't blame me if I am trying to stop my child from putting his money into a losing proposition.

Yeah.

Well, I guess that's the difference between you and me, Mom.

I don't think Riverdale is a losing proposition.

The same as Dad.

I'm not moving.

And I will make a difference here.

[PANTING]

[VIDEO GAMES BEEPING IN DISTANCE]

All right, if we're gonna do this, we got to do it right.

Okay?

- You guys follow my orders - Hey You Dodger?

That ain't your business.

Yeah.

Your days of exploiting kids to do your dirty work ends tonight.

I want you and all your little buddies out of Riverdale.

You and that Louisville Slugger?

[THUGS MURMURING]

I'd take a closer look, friend.

You're outnumbered 5-to-1.

I'll take those odds.

[NECK CRACKS]

[GRUNTS]

I'm sorry I came by so late, Mrs.

Andrews.

No, not at all, but Archie's in bed.

I'm actually here to see you.

That's $40,000.

I'm giving it to you, to give to Archie for the community center.

He's too proud to take it from me.

Veronica thank you.

But we can't accept this.

We can't be in that kind of debt to your family.

And if you put that money into the center, it keeps Archie here in Riverdale, away from college, away from his future.

At the risk of overstepping, Mrs.

Andrews, I'm not investing in a building, I'm investing in your son.

I believe in Archie, and he makes me want to believe in myself.

And I need that right now.

[SIGHS]

Tear the check up if you want.

But I really hope you don't.

[SIGHS]

[CHERYL]

Rise and shine, my dearest.

It's another magnificent day that's ours for the taking.

Jay-Jay?

Weren't you over there whilst I read to you at nighttide?

[MUNROE]

Red?

[MOANS]

What the hell happened?

[GRUNTS]

You should see Dodger and the other guys.

They're not going to be messing with your brother anytime soon.

[CHUCKLES]

You went after them without me?

And what happens if those scumbags come looking for payback?

They're not going to.

I was in disguise.

Oh, so you're a superhero now?

Look, the good news is, we got enough money to buy a second bathroom.

Oh, hell no!

You know we can't use this, right?

This money is dirty.

Only a fool would spend this cash.

It needs to be cleaned first.

[SIGHS]

Any chance your girlfriend could help us with that?

So, we have three votes for Story C.

Which makes makes Story C our winner, which is penned by Donna Sweett.

Stories A and B, written by Bret and Jughead, tied for last place.

Well, at least you didn't k*ll each other.

[ALICE]

Elizabeth Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Mom.

Where are we?

In one of the motel rooms.

Edgar's been keeping me here ever since he figured out I was the mole.

I'll k*ll him.

Honey, I'm so sorry, I was trying to keep you safe.

I didn't want you to know, and I needed to get Polly out.

Do you know what Edgar's plan is?

What?

Evelyn is going to drive the bus full of Farmies off of a cliff as a distraction while he What?

Takes off in his rocket.

- What?

- Yeah.

He bought a rocket?

No, he's been building one.

Yeah, because harvesting organs isn't isn't enough.

What is he planning to do with us?

We're going to be tied to the front of the bus as shields.

Unless we can figure out a way out of here.

I think I actually have an idea.

We have to get back to back.

Miss Cheryl, Miss Antoinette, I'll be needing some money and the skeleton key for the house.

Excuse me?

What possibly for?

Thistlehouse has rats in the walls.

- I went into the basement - Halt!

You went down to the basement, specifically after I ordered you not to?

You didn't go into the chapel, did you?

No, Miss Cheryl Thistlehouse has never had rats.

But, Babe, we did hear something last night.

Remember?

No, you're right, Tee-Tee.

[SCOFFS]

And suddenly, I am feeling the presence of a rat, a six-foot-tall rat with muscles and bedroom eyes, Darius, I knew you were a mistake from the beginning.

So [WHISPERS]

you're fired.

Toodles.

All right, ladies.

Times up, let's go.

When the dark is Closing in What's your Those b*tches Tell me [GRUNTS]

Tell me, would you burn your kingdom down?

Now we just have to make it to the courtyard without being sh*t.

Tell me are you laughing now When there's nowhere left to go?

Who's gonna save your soul?

Tell me what's your endgame?

Where did you get this from?

I took it off some lowlife drug dealers.

Ronnie, I hate to ask you this, but is there anything you can do?

Any way you can clean it, so I can use it for the center?

Archie I know you're trying to do good, but this isn't it.

My advice Burn it.

All of it.

And let me pay for the renovations.

- [SIGHS]

Ronnie.

- Archie, please just forget your pride for a second and let me be a part of what you're doing.

I need to be a part of what you're doing.

Keep it moving, keep it moving.

Hey, Edgar has decreed it's time to go.

Okay?

Everybody on the bus.

Keep moving.

That's the thing about cults.

Speak with enough authority, and they'll do anything you say.

Once we drive the Farmies out, Charles can move in and take down Edgar.

Okay?

Traitor.

- There is a trait - [GRUNTS]

He's he's fine.

Get him in the bus, okay?

Please.

Okay?

Keep keep going.

Keep going.

Keep moving, all right?

Oh, no.

Give me the g*n.

Get everybody on the bus.

- I'm going to stop Edgar.

- Okay.

Okay.

Keep going, keep going.

Mr.

Weatherbee?

I told Edgar I wasn't the mole, but he wouldn't listen.

He cut it off.

Ms.

Cooper, I don't know how I let myself get embroiled in this madness.

Mr.

Weatherbee, this is your last sh*t at redemption.

Okay?

Get everybody on this bus.

Go.

Please.

Okay?

[MR.

WEATHERBEE]

On the bus, please.

- [PANTING]

- Everyone get on the bus.

Let's go, everybody.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Hello?

- Charles, it's me.

I'm inside the motel.

Betty, you have got to get out of there.

Governor Dooley is sending in a team of mercenaries right now.

Tell them to stand down.

There's a busload of unarmed civilians, including women and children, headed your way.

Hands up, Edgar.

Sister Alice.

Come with me peacefully, or so help me, I will sh**t you in the kneecaps and drag your ass out of here myself.

You betrayed us.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

[g*n COCKS]

Do you remember the story of the prophet Elijah, Alice?

He was seized by a whirlwind and lifted up into the sky in a chariot of fire.

Elijah ascended.

And I will too.

[g*n f*ring]

[SCREAMS]

Mom?

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[PANTING]

Oh, my God, Mom.

What happened?

Are you okay?

[BOTH GASPING]

Edgar ascended.

[GASPS]

[MUNROE]

Jab high.

Jab high.

Jab low.

Jab high.

Jab low.

[CHUCKLES]

And cross.

Good work.

And cross!

And jab.

And jab!

And cross!

Need any help?

Mom, what's going on?

I was leaving, but what's going on is I will be focusing more on pro bono work in the foreseeable future, here in Riverdale.

And my first order of business is to get your community center declared a 501(C)(3).

That's a non-profit.

It means that you can ask for donations, you don't have to pay taxes, you can apply for grants.

Well, that's amazing.

Except that I don't know how to do any of that.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

You're lot like your dad in that way.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So, you'll just leave it to me, and you can go help those kids out there.

Deal.

What happened to Chicago?

Um I'll call the airline and cancel the flight.

I don't think I'll be back anytime soon.

Hello, Daddy.

I'm sure you'll be getting a call from Mr.

Sowerberry soon, but, I just wanted to let you know face to face that I'm no longer a Lodge.

[CHUCKLES]

Mija How many times must we go through this?

I'm officially changing my name to Veronica Luna.

And I am changing the locks.

And I'm installing an alarm.

And I'm sleeping with a taser under my pillow.

And you better believe I'll use it.

He didn't see you did he, Jason?

[CHERYL GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

Ahhh!

Get off!

Get off him!

[SQUEAKS]

We're gonna fix you right up, Jay-Jay.

[TONI]

Cheryl?

What the hell is going on here?

Toni you've never met Jason, have you?

[JUGHEAD]

Oh, no.

[GIRL 1]

His dad was the Gargoyle King.

[GIRL 2]

His real name is "Moose".

[GIRL 3]

His girlfriend was m*rder*d by the Black Hood.

Everybody knows.

[EXHALES]

So much for a new start.

[SHAKILY]

I'm done here.

[JUGHEAD]

He was a broken man, Betty.

And it was Bret, of course.

He did it because he blames me for not winning the contest.

Or maybe he's just a sociopath.

He knew that he couldn't get to me directly so he went after Moose.

This is nothing like fighting the Ghoulies.

This is psychological warfare.

God.

Poor Moose.

Just be careful, Jug.

Aw, don't worry about me.

Hey, how's your mom and Polly?

[LAUGHS]

My Mom was already working on her expose of the Farm.

Polly started this program at the Shady Grove Treatment Center.

She's getting the help that she needs.

What about Charles?

Is he the real deal?

Can we trust him?

Yeah, I think so.

I'm just happy that this nightmare is finally over.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[WIND BLOWING]

Famous last words.