MEREDITH: Some of the world's top trauma specialists have proven that our brains may forget the traumas we survive but our bodies, especially our nervous systems, always keep score.
- [ALARM BLARING]
- BP's dropping.
Can you mobilize the liver better?
It's the IVC.
Clamp.
- [FLATLINE]
- What?
No, I need a clamp!
NANCY: Maybe you should've thought of that before skipping out on community service.
- We've got it.
- But I - Let's get two units of blood.
- I'm on it.
ALEX: We need distal and proximal control.
- RICHARD: Clamp.
- Let's do total vascular exclusion.
ZOLA: Mom.
I don't feel good.
Me either, ZoZo.
[TRENT DABBS' "EXPLAINING TO DO!" PLAYS]
[SIGHS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Memories are stored in our shoulders, spines, stomach, or hands, without us ever knowing.
It was one of the worst fires I've ever seen.
Smoke was so thick and the roof it wouldn't hold It was [SIGHS]
Is that your way of telling me I'm taking Tuck to school today?
Isn't he in college yet?
[LAUGHS]
Ben.
[SIGHS]
Ben, I have to talk to you about something.
Go ahead.
I'm just, uh, you know, I'm measuring the bed.
Okay.
Uh here I go.
I am We We are - pregnant.
- [SNORING]
We assume a painful backache or a shaky hand is something harmless, random.
But it could be more.
Ellis, eat your cereal.
Where's your orange vest?
No orange vest today.
The mean judge is making Mommy go to court because she's missed so much work.
So I cannot be late.
Hey, Zola.
Is your head still hurting you?
My eyes, too.
- Really?
- [GASPS]
Oh.
Okay, sweetie.
It might be our bodies reminding us of what we've endured and warning us not to let it happen again.
Yeah, you got explaining to do Go on You got explaining to do Eyes on the road there, Doctor.
[LAUGHS]
Gemma.
You're in awful early.
I could say you're out awful late.
No, all night surgery.
I cannot wait to crawl into bed.
Oh, and to think I was gonna get my paycheck and then take you to breakfast.
Um, I should probably Richard Webber, if the second half of that sentence isn't "Grab a stack of pancakes with you," I don't want to hear it.
[LAUGHS]
I am hungry.
Okay.
Stay right here.
Don't go anywhere.
Okay, Mr.
Wilkerson is stable this morning, post-op day 1 from his ACDF, and you also have an aneurysm coiling this afternoon.
And how are we getting your girlfriend to undo the mountain of damage she did with her article?
Well, you'll have to ask her.
Oh, I see.
You think I put you on my service because of all the promise I see in you.
I don't.
But I do think you could talk her into suing that website for libel.
Maybe you could withhold sex until she cracks?
Yeah, that's not going to work.
What?
What?
The sex not good enough?
Are you two on the rocks?
Tom.
- I need a CT for my daughter.
- What's wrong?
She's been vomiting and she has a headache.
Well, it sounds like the flu.
She also has a VP shunt for spina bifida.
So I need you to get her in right away, please.
- Okay.
- All right.
Hey, Zola.
Not feeling well?
I read that hyperbaric chambers were invented before oxygen was even discovered.
A British doctor in 1662 used organ bellows to hand-pump air into an enclosed space.
So cool, right?
I mean, terrible that our patient needs it.
But since she does So cool.
What do you need?
Carly Davis, 46-year-old female, possible su1c1de attempt, carbon monoxide poisoning.
Hoping a 90-minute dive in the chamber can revive her, although it might take longer.
I know her.
Karev!
You in or out?
In.
All right, Schmitt, that means you're out.
But you said I could Goodbye, Schmitt.
[SIGHS]
Do you think it's a shunt revision, or is it just maybe the flu?
[CELL PHONE CHIMING, RINGING]
It's just my lawyer telling me that I'm supposed to be in court in 10 minutes.
Don't.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
How is she?
Is her shunt obstructed?
Oh, goodie.
It's a family affair.
Anyone want to bring some snacks?
Play a rousing game of UNO?
Oh, and Simon says enlarged ventricles.
She'll need a shunt revision.
This is very common with growth I would do it laparoscopically No, I'd do it laparoscopically, because she's not my niece.
She'll be in and out in an hour.
- Book an OR, DeLukes.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Look, it's a simple surgery, okay?
You need to go to court.
I'll be with her the whole time.
And I'll update you every step of the way.
I promise.
Are you kidding me right now?
Got it.
Okay.
Yep.
You're not gonna go anywhere.
- Okay.
- Book an OR, please.
Yep, you got it.
I want you texting me from that gallery every step of the way, and don't let Koracick or anyone else kick you out.
Texting you?
As in, your own phone number?
Okay um, I mean, absolutely, Dr.
Grey.
Uh, she's so smart and tough.
She'll be great.
Why are you still talking?
Hey, it's just gonna be a quick little nap, and when you wake up, you're gonna feel so much better.
I know, Mommy.
I pay attention.
I'm gonna be right here the whole time.
And by "right here," she means in the waiting room with the other moms and dads who don't work here.
Are you scared?
You are so brave.
I love you.
Love you, too.
Hey.
I've got her.
Let's go.
[SIGHS]
I can get someone to cover if you want some company out there.
No.
You should be in there with her.
Okay.
You mean to tell me you locked yourself in here with your therapist and you didn't think that was against oh, I don't know all the rules?
Technically she was just one of my therapists when I was in residential treatment.
How many did you have?
Three.
Different therapists, different modalities.
Kind of like when a trauma comes in and we need to figure out how many surgeons we need to send in from how many different angles.
Except in your brain.
Yeah, pretty much.
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Do you know anything about her medical history?
Anything to indicate why she would do this?
Uh all I know is that she's 13 years sober and has a serious addiction to almonds and science fiction.
But other than that, she seemed good.
Happy.
I just I don't know why she would do this.
[LAUGHS]
Dr.
Karev, are you all right?
Yeah, no, she would just she would just k*ll me because I've forgotten everything she taught me about how to just, you know, calm my nervous system.
So if she woke up, she'd be so pissed at me right now.
[RUMBLING]
So I'm guessing the two of you were close.
I couldn't stand her.
She was the worst.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Let me guess, you're pissed I'm taking away your pool time.
I already had Michelle for therapy today, three hours of group, and it's fruit punch day, which is the worst.
And now I'm I'm what?
I'm supposed to stare at a light bar and all my troubles are gonna disappear?
Appendectomies pig parts replacing aortic valves.
And if I read correctly, you put tiny little livers into mice 'cause the one liver wasn't working?
[CHUCKLES]
I'm just saying I wanna know the first guy who said to somebody, "My brain hurts. " And the other guy was like, "If I cut it open, I promise it'll feel better. " And the first guy was like, "Cool. " But, hey, science.
I get it.
EMDR is just another way to get at the root of my trauma.
You spent your media time looking up EMDR?
Yep.
I like to know what I'm getting into.
In that case, tell me what it is in under 30 seconds, I'll let you get your swim on.
Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- Go.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
The lights force bilateral sensory output, allowing you to make connections about your traumas and desensitize you to them.
Aw, so close.
You forgot it helps to illuminate the capital "T" trauma in your life.
I don't have any capital "T" trauma.
I found out awful news about how I was born, and my mother couldn't deal.
I have been through way worse.
You know, if you're gonna eat in front of me, could you at least share?
No.
Because?
Because boundaries.
I don't share food.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Deep breath.
You've already established your safe place with Michelle.
An OR.
Any OR.
If this becomes too much, we can always go back there.
Okay?
What's happening for you right now?
What are you feeling?
Shame.
I feel shame.
I feel worthless that I'm not in an OR.
Is there an image you have in your mind growing up that gave you that message?
That you're worthless?
[SIGHS]
I never spent long enough in foster homes to remember the wallpaper, let alone the people.
I had a husband who b*at me, but he's dead now, so So no trauma.
Any specific memories or moments that play over and over?
[SIGHS]
No, nothing.
It's I'm It's nothing.
It's stupid.
Then there's no harm in telling me.
I reached out my hand to my mom at a crappy diner, and she pulled away.
She couldn't stand to touch me.
But it's just it's so small compared to everything else, so I don't So let's start "small," see what happens next.
Okay?
JO: I shouldn't be in here with her.
I was doing fine.
I was back at work kicking ass.
Everything with Alex is great.
And then I just I screw it all up by sticking myself in here, and now I'm and now I'm back to square one.
I need to get out of here.
I need to get out of here.
Dr.
Karev, you know we can't I know, I know!
But if the one person who could help me feel okay could just go off one day and try and k*ll themselves, then what does that say about me?
Huh?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Dr.
Karev Raise the arm of the patient and count down to the 4th intercostal space.
Prep and drape in sterile fashion.
Then why are you listing the steps for a chest tube insertion if it's not indicated?
Inject with lidocaine, make an incision above the rib.
A Kelly clamp - Jo, what's going on?
- This is supposed to help me.
She's the one who taught me this.
Feet on the ground, list the things you know by heart.
It's supposed to trick your nervous system into thinking that you're safe.
But it's not working.
It's not working.
Okay, well, how can I help you?
What do you need?
What I need I need to think of something else.
I need to think of something else.
I'm pregnant!
100% p-r-e-g-o.
With a live baby inside.
Ben's baby.
Our baby.
Super pregnant.
Okay, yeah, that worked.
[SIGHS]
WOMAN ON P. A. : Nurse Potter, 5411.
Nurse Potter, 5411.
[CELLPHONE CHIMING]
[SIGHS]
Okay.
Everything's good so far.
Koracick just started the shunt revision.
So, tell me what we're doing.
Am I walking you through the surgery step by step in real time?
Are we ignoring it altogether and watching bad TV?
We're sitting in silence, thinking the worst about Zola.
And about court.
Yeah, I didn't give you that option.
Derek did a beautiful job with her shunt the first time.
All Koracick has to do is go in and revise it.
And as someone whose brain he has poked around in before, I turned out great.
Tumor-wise.
As for court, I know absolutely nothing about the legal system whatsoever, so I'm guessing you are either fine or locked up for life?
Very helpful, thank you.
I have a very specific set of skills.
- Beyond that, I'm - How is she?
Uh, they just got started on Zola.
She is wallowing.
Not wallowing, preparing for the worst.
Okay, that's not an option.
Pick another thing.
That's what I said.
I appreciate the two of you being here, I do, but I don't need the distraction.
Yes, you do.
I'll go first.
I just finished a quadruple valve replacement.
Only two other people in the U. S. have ever done that, and I felt more in love and alive and seen while my hands were in that heart than I did the entire time I was with Jackson.
There was no endless talking about feelings, or arguing.
I-I made a plan, I came in there, and I did it, and the rush!
[SIGHS]
I mean, clearly I'm still feeling it.
[CHUCKLES]
Now you go.
My daughter is in an OR, and I am abandoning court, and I might go to jail.
[LAUGHS]
Have we lost her?
And Andrew thought I was still going to court.
I think he's just worried that No, wait, I'm not even done yet.
First he thought that I would abandon my child to go to court.
And then he offered to skip the entire surgery so that he could hold his crying girlfriend's hand?
It's kind.
No, it's incredibly stupid.
Cristina and I would have mocked him mercilessly for volunteering to skip out on a shunt revision to be someone's human tissue!
I rescheduled a spinal decompression.
You're not a resident.
You're not volunteering to skip surgeries.
For the woman he loves.
Oh, well well, you know, when you say it like that, you make me sound like an ass.
- No.
- Not at all.
He's kind.
He's trying.
But he's not a parent, and he does not get it.
Okay, so let me get this straight.
He was wrong to assume that you would go to court, but also wrong to support you while you wait for Zola.
I already said I sound like an ass.
But He's sexy, and he's fun, and he's so good to the kids.
But I don't know if he'll ever be more than that.
I don't know if I want him to be.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Oh, they're tunneling in the new shunt tubing.
[SIGHS]
Okay, someone say something that isn't about my stuff.
Uh I don't know Link's parents' names.
I don't know his taste in movies or his favorite song or if he actually likes breakfast for dinner or just pretends to because it's all I can make.
And I am having a baby with him.
I am tied to him, no matter what, no matter how things go between us for the rest of my life because we made a decision to have a child.
Together.
And I will learn his parents' names eventually.
But, um I don't know him.
I'm just tying my life to his "you jump, I jump" style, which sounds Exactly like what you do.
Okay, I sometimes leap and hope the net will appear - [LAUGHS]
- Yeah, all the time.
I had a brain tumor.
You also have a personality apart from that tumor.
Which is a wonderful thing, and sometimes it is your Achilles' heel.
We will love you and that baby no matter what happens with Link.
Okay, now it really feels like it's taking too long.
It's taking too long, right?
They're probably confirming the Confirming the shunt patency, which means they should be almost done.
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Andrew's a good guy.
We know.
- I think I love him.
- We know.
We're just at two different places in our lives, and I'm just waiting for my gut to tell me one way or the other.
My gut only says yes.
Ever.
Or like 99% of the time.
It just screams yes, but maybe that's okay because I like the leap and having faith, and if I fall, I learn.
I think surgery might be my truest love.
And I don't think that's ever gonna change.
And I don't think it needs to.
This is taking too long.
I'm going in there.
- No.
- No, no.
I know that you want to, but you can't.
If something were wrong, they would've definitely My gut is telling me something is wrong.
Have you seen my life?
The people that I've lost?
Until someone comes in here and tells me otherwise - Come here.
- [SIGHS]
They should be closing up any minute now, and I am sure they went in through a part in her hair so she won't even see a scar.
Dr.
Grey, she's out of surgery and she's She's perfect, I'm perfect.
You can see her when she gets out of post-op.
[GASPS]
Thank you, Tom.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, a-and but not before that, all right?
Okay.
Thank you, Tom.
- Thank you.
- [CHUCKLES]
Will you stay with her, please?
- Of course.
- Okay.
Go.
- She's good!
- [ALL CHEER]
[RICHARD LAUGHS]
I am serious.
He is a CPA that counts on his fingers, and he had the nerve to give me grief for leaving the office 15 minutes early My work already done.
I'd expect nothing less.
[CHUCKLES]
- He's an idiot.
- [LAUGHS]
But it pays the bills.
And for that, I have to thank you.
I just told the truth.
That I'm a pain in the ass, but great with deadlines?
I softened it a bit.
Well, I have a lot to thank you for, not just that job.
Well, you would've done the same for me.
Damn straight.
But if you had shown up on my doorstep with a heel in your heart, you would've been crap out of luck.
[BOTH LAUGH]
So, um, how's the sponsor search going?
It's slim pickings out there.
Everyone at our meetings is either angry old people or Millennials who wear spikes of driftwood as earrings.
I don't know, just maybe try some other meetings.
Oh, it's It takes some time to find the right one.
Well, you know I've never been one to settle down.
Mm-hmm.
Except for Ollie.
Ollie was the exception.
Yes, she was.
- But - Hmm?
If I wanted to talk AA, I'd be in AA.
[LAUGHS]
- How about you?
- Hmm?
Tell me about you.
Uh, well well I'm I'm fine.
The hospital isn't up to snuff, but, uh, it's getting there.
Oh, please, we work at the same hospital.
[CHUCKLES]
And Catherine?
Uh she's getting there, too.
Now tell me how this works again when she's out of the state more often than she is in your bed.
Gemma.
What, you want to take the South out of me, too?
I already quit drinking.
[SCOFFS]
You know Catherine and I like to fight.
Part of what I love most about her is her her passion, her fire.
But it's like the the light's gone out, and I I don't know how to get it back, you know?
You have the biggest heart I've ever known, Richard.
Catherine may be too wrapped up in her own head to see that right now.
When my mother d*ed, the first thing I thought, and I was a kid was that my father's never gonna have that love, sitting on that porch beside him, the rest of his life.
[CHUCKLES]
See, when my girlfriends would throw pillowcases on their heads as veils [LAUGHS]
they was like, "This was the best day of my life. " I thought the only thing better than one man to love you is a rotation.
I've never been that.
[CHUCKLING]
Ohh.
[CHUCKLES]
Ooh, ooh - I don't need nobody - Ah.
I don't need no one Now, why would you pull away from the first little bit of comfort that you've had in weeks?
[SIGHS]
Because I'm a married man.
I am fully aware that you and Catherine have rings on your fingers for better or worse.
Forgive me for thinking that because you have hit the worst, that you may be, you know looking around.
And don't insult me by pretending you don't know what I'm talking about.
Because I've known you too well for too long.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I love my wife.
I have no intentions of competing with Catherine Fox.
Y'all are having a hard time.
You'll find your way back.
But in the meantime you're miserable, and I'm here, and life is too short to deprive ourselves of what we've been feeling for so many years.
[SCOFFS]
You know, I think you've mistaken my friendship for something else entirely.
And if you think this is just friendship, than you're as dumb as that man who counts on his hands.
Barely 17 Learned it then that a good man gonna do you wrong Okay, um if I've done anything to mislead you, Gemma, okay, I apologize.
But, uh, there is nothing between us, and there never has been.
'Cause it ain't a lesson, you can take it from me Well, suit yourself, but if history serves, when hard times hit, you bury yourself in a bottle of vodka or another woman.
And we both know which one you can handle.
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]
Are you really going to just walk away after what we felt in there?
All that talk about rigorous honesty.
I'm in love with Catherine.
My wife.
And you're in love with Adele, too.
Until there was Ellis Grey, and then it was back to Adele, and when she lay in that home dying of Alzheimer's, who were you with?
I tried to visit Adele all the time.
It only upset her.
And whose arms did you fall into then?
Catherine.
Just because you know my history doesn't mean you can use it against me to make yourself less lonely.
Richard!
Call your sponsor.
Get a meeting.
That was not sober behavior.
[SCRAPING]
[MONITOR BEEPING]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
Oh, go ahead, get it over with.
[SQUEALS]
How are you feeling?
How's Ben feeling?
Was it planned?
Don't know, doesn't know yet, and hell no.
Uh her A. B. G is better.
She's less acidotic, and CO level is down.
She should be awake up by now.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
It's okay to admit if you're feeling scared.
What happens in the hyperbaric chamber stays in the hyperbaric chamber.
- I'm not scared.
- Okay.
I'm surprised.
Tuck is the light of my life, but I thought I was done with diapers and strollers.
Now there's all these new diapers with wings and strollers that can practically fly to the moon.
And I think I could be happy.
I might be happy but out-of-my-mind terrified.
And terrified.
It's a therapy thing.
You listed all these positive feelings and then you said "but" as if being terrified erased everything that you said prior, but the happy, the terror, it's all true.
Well, I don't like it.
Right on time.
What?
What are you, stalking me?
Nah.
Therapists rotate every night.
There's always a runner.
I figured after our session this afternoon, odds were on you.
Besides, I like staring at the stars for funzies.
I don't want to run.
It doesn't make any sense.
I feel shame over things I didn't even do, things that were done to me.
That's all I can feel.
Yep.
[CRUNCHES ALMOND]
Is that all you're gonna say?
Well, technically, I'm off the clock.
[SCOFFS]
You're used to being exceptional.
Right now, you're just like everybody else here mentally.
You're stuck, can't see past the one moment that's defining your entire life.
You mean the moment where I watched my mom walk away from me in a diner?
No.
Then what?
For you.
Purple juice day.
Best day ever.
[SIGHS]
[SCOFFS]
Okay.
Okay, boundaries.
If you could move through that fear and that shame and let yourself feel angry I can't.
Which means I'll be stuck here forever.
Yep.
[SCOFFS LIGHTLY]
JO: Tuck's childhood bedtime routine.
Go.
Okay, uh uh, bath, diaper, PJs, a glass of milk, brush your teeth, one book, out like a light but then when he got older and we'd finished the book, all of a sudden, he needed to go back to the bathroom Just stick to the baby routine.
Again.
Baby routine, okay.
Uh, bath, diaper, PJs, glass of milk, brush your teeth, one book, out like a light.
- One more time.
- Bath, diaper, PJs, a glass of milk, brush your teeth, one book, out like a light.
[SIGHS]
I swear to God, Karev, next time I go on sabbatical, I'm going wherever the hell you went.
You learned all the things.
I learned it all from her.
[ALARM BLARING]
Oh!
Oh, she's seizing.
Okay.
Damn, I thought she was getting better!
Her labs are fine.
I can't tell why [BLARING CONTINUES]
She doesn't share food.
The almonds she was always eating.
What if she's diabetic?
What was her glucose when she came in?
Uh 78, which is low normal, but the hyperbaric therapy Is using the glucose to metabolize the oxygen.
- D-50!
- D-50!
[BLARING CONTINUES]
Okay, Carly, here we go.
All right.
Now.
Okay.
Carly, it's Jo.
Can you hear me?
[GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
You're good.
You're okay.
It's okay.
I'm here.
You're okay.
I'm pissed now, okay?
Are you happy?
Good morning, Carly.
Do you have a few minutes to talk?
10 sessions with you and that dumb-ass light bar.
Not really fair to take it out on the light bar, but okay.
I hate everything!
My mom.
My r*pist dad, Paul.
The fact that I'm here staring at the same image of my mom pulling away from me in a diner over and over and over again, and never moving past it.
And that.
You know what?
I'm adding that to the list, the fact that I'm in pain and you're treating it like a joke.
This isn't a joke.
It's a breakthrough.
You're finally allowing yourself to move past your fear and the shame and into the anger.
This is progress.
Okay, I can't be angry.
Why not?
Because if I start being angry, I will never stop, and then I'm Paul.
I'm no better than him.
That's because you don't know what healthy anger looks like.
No, no, no.
I'm not I c I can't do EMDR today.
I'm not doing it.
I know it's life-changing or whatever, but just, I can't, not today.
Hi, I'm Carly, and my core feeling today is pride because my patient asked for what she needed for the first time in 22 days.
What's happening?
I'm throwing crap at a wall.
- Care to join me?
- [TOY SQUEAKS]
Are we both consenting adults?
Yep.
Are we okay if we agree to throw things at walls not people just the walls?
Yep.
Right there.
That's what makes you not Paul.
Because you can feel anger while controlling your behavior.
Throw first, judge later.
Okay.
[TOY SQUEAKS SOFTLY]
Remind me not to pick you first if we ever start a trauma league.
[LAUGHS]
Give me a minute.
[TOYS SLAMMING WALL]
Fall into my shadow [GRUNTING]
Use me 'til there's nothing left [YELLING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Every night's a w*r And love's a battle Lose yourself inside the silhouette I'm gonna go off script here and admit something.
I used to be the on-call social worker for Safe Haven.
Moms and dads would drop their babies off at fire stations, and I would get the call.
And no matter how fast I drove, by the time I got there, that baby would be wrapped in a warm blanket, in some firefighter's arms, a crowd around it.
Why are you telling me this?
You were five days old when your mother abandoned you.
Your brain may not have a memory of her pulling her hand away from you, but your body does.
And your body felt the same way in that diner when she pulled away and left you Alone.
Fall into my shadow It's why it hurt so much.
- Use me 'til there's nothing left - Your body felt the same way it did when you were a baby, all over again.
Every night's a w*r, and love's a battle And you were surrounded by love.
Lose yourself inside the silhouette Still are.
Lose yourself inside the silhouette Now, if you want to go home and take care of yourself, I can do this part.
No.
I should be the one to tell her.
All right, well, I'll be right out there if you need me.
[INSTRUMENTS CLATTER]
Today I watched you teeter on that edge, bring yourself back by yourself, bring me back and save someone else's life in the process.
I don't know what "square one" looks like, but there was nothing square one about that.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
You're giving me that death look.
I don't have a death look.
You did whenever I gave you homework, told you something you didn't want to hear.
It's just my face.
You had carbon monoxide poisoning.
You had a seizure because your blood sugar bottomed out, but we were able to bring it back up and oxygenate you.
And in theory, you should be well enough to go home tomorrow.
In theory?
You know that I have to call psych now.
I don't want to, but it's the law all su1c1de attempts have to be reported su1c1de attempt?
Hold up.
One minute, I was 200 pages in to the newest Margaret Atwood, curled up next to my heater, the next I'm in some space chamber in the hospital.
You didn't do this on purpose?
Never again.
You were in your home.
Well, I wasn't in my garage with a locked door, a note, and a death wish.
If you want to 5150 me for forgetting to change the batteries in my CO detector, that's fair because that thing's been out for months, and I-I could've d*ed.
[SIGHS]
Thanks for not letting me die.
Breathe.
I'm breathing.
Her chemistries are stable, but should I get an endocrine consult?
Um Carly [SIGHS]
I can't be your doctor anymore.
I never should've been in the first place.
So Dr.
Bailey will take good care of you.
What?
Boundaries.
Looks like somebody learned something after all.
Okay.
[DRAWER OPENS]
Oh, you're home.
Yes, I am home.
[GROANS LIGHTLY]
You worked all night again?
Yeah, I did.
I went to breakfast, then, uh, I came back here to lie down.
I guess I slept all day.
How was your trip?
Same as it always is.
You look tired, Richard.
I am, Catherine.
I really am.
Go back to sleep.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
I came as fast as I could.
What's What's going on?
What's Is Are you okay?
Is Is Tuck okay?
[SIGHS]
Oh, okay, so not an emergency.
Well Well, can we talk about it over dinner?
Because I'm starving, and that that tandoori chicken at Monsoon on Main is calling my na I'm pregnant!
But you you y-you said were going through menopause.
Turns out a lot can be true at the same time.
[LAUGHS]
It's crazy, right?
And I know, we've we've never talked about this, but I've been thinking about how much more prepared I am now compared to when I had Tuck.
I was just a resident.
I thought I knew everything, but basically knew, uh, nothing.
But now I've got mad skills, nothing can stop me, and I kind of think this might be great and something that we'll have together.
Right?
Or mm, am I wrong?
Um, and it's okay if I'm if, uh I'm sorry.
Uh I've just been spinning all day waiting to tell you, and then I got stuck in the chamber - Oh, we're having a baby!!
- [LAUGHS]
Y-Yes.
Oh, and nausea is a classic symptom of pregnancy one more spin and we Cold light wakes me in the morning We're having a baby.
Your side is empty, I was calling out to you You happy?
I was calling out to you Oh!
[LAUGHS]
- And all of the nights and days - [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
Tell them.
Tell them.
Hey, hey.
We're We're having a baby.
- We're having a baby.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
But I don't need your love We're having a baby.
- I just need your talking - [LAUGHS]
Okay.
MEREDITH: Trauma doesn't tell time.
It can't tell if we're 8 or 41, if our kids have the chicken pox, or if we have the biggest surgeries of our lives to perform.
Hey.
How was your day?
Rough.
- Do you want to talk about it?
- No.
You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely It doesn't have to be with me.
I just don't want you to keep it inside like before.
Do you wanna throw crap?
Huh?
And when it sneaks up on us, it's easy to think we're right back at square one.
- [GRUNTS]
- [TOY SLAMS WALL]
All that I need is sweet escape [SIGHS]
You okay?
Yeah.
Getting there.
Ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh, well, I'm leaving now [TOY SMACKS SOFTLY]
Lame!
You got to - You got to really throw it.
- Okay.
And oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm leaving now [LAMP RATTLES]
[LAUGHS]
That felt oddly satisfying.
Right?
[LAUGHS]
Okay, but let's do it over here.
Let's do it over here, come on.
- And all of the nights - All right, come on.
And all of the days This wall.
Come on!
We're watching them fade away Whoo!
BOTH: One, two, three.
What a life when you're rolling the dice One, two - Three.
- Aah!
And all of the nights and all of the days We'll be watching it fading away And, oh, what a life when you're rolling the dice But the truth is, even when our brain convinces us we're lost, if we try hard enough, our bodies always remind us there's a way back.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll be right back.
Hey.
Hey.
How's she doing?
She's fully recovered.
She's asking for Jell-O, so I'm on a hunt.
And oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm leaving now Thank you.
How are you doing?
I'm glad Zola's okay.
Good.
Nancy.
"The girl who cried medical emergency. " That's what the judge called you.
- How's your daughter?
- Much better, thank you.
She had to have neurosurgery, so I couldn't leave her.
I get that.
But sadly, you're going to have to leave her, along with the rest of your children while you make up for your missed hours.
I was able to squeeze a small drop of humanity from the judge.
Thank you.
I will be at trash duty first thing, and no more excuses, as soon as she's sent home.
Dr. Grey, you're not going back to clean-up duty.
You'll be making up your missed hours in jail.
And prepares us for whatever fight lies ahead.
16x05 - Breathe Again
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A drama centered on the personal and professional lives of five surgical interns and their supervisors.
A drama centered on the personal and professional lives of five surgical interns and their supervisors.