15x10 - The Heroes' Journey

[bunniefuu]

You know, I hate missing my favorite show.

- [g*nsh*t]

- Aah!

[BARKING]

Aah!

[g*nsh*t]

MAN: Who are you?

We're the guys who save the world.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, guys.

- [HISSES]

- Don't hurt her.

SAM: You're married?

To a werewolf.

[GROWLS]

Garth.

You still think that you're the hero of this story.

SAM: We'll take Chuck down.

Exactly what we're gonna do.

Ohh!

No.

Oh, that was just the beginning.

No.

This is the rest.

[CHEERING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GRUNTS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Yeah!

Come on!

Come on!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

[GROWLS]

[CLAUDE DEBUSSY'S "CLAIR DE LUNE" PLAYS]

Yeah!

Supernatural 15x10 The Heroes' Journey - - [SMOKE ALARM BEEPING]

[SNIFFING]

Oh, no.

Oh, great.

Oh!

[COUGHING]

Hey, Teddy.

Hey.

What's new?

Uh, my psoriasis is back.

Oh.

[GRUNTS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

$40. 32.

Um right.

There you go.

Thank you.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Oh.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Aah!

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Uh, declined.

What?

No, no, no, that's No, that card's worked for like five years.

I Sorry.

Aah!

Wha Seriously?

Thanks, Teddy.

Whoa!

Seriously?!

Seriously?

Sammy!

- [DOOR CLOSES]

- Sammy!

Dean?

Hey!

Was that a trip?

Yeah.

Weird.

There's a lotta that goin' on.

In town, I just got a parking ticket.

Because you always park in front of that fire hydrant?

No.

I mean, yes.

Okay, I park there every time.

I never get a ticket, all right?

Oh, and, uh This doesn't work.

That's the card Charlie hacked for us, the one Yeah, the one that's supposed to be our "no more hustling, always working" Golden Ticket.

Nothing.

- Weird.

- That's what I'm saying.

[SNEEZES]

Are you getting sick?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Oh, and and dinner's [SNEEZES]

- Man, this day, I'm telling you - [COUGHS]

What is next?

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

It's Garth.

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

Hey, Garth.

Hey, Dean, it's Garth.

I, uh I need your help.

[SNEEZES]

I'm telling you, man, we're cursed.

We're not cursed, Dean.

We're just having a bad day.

No.

No, no, no.

This is This is more than just a no good, very bad day, okay?

Chuck must've boned us before he left, you know?

Or maybe some of that crap you brought back from Rowena's went sideways.

'Cause this?

I mean [SCOFFS]

This is not normal.

[SNEEZES]

- Oh.

- Oh.

Gross.

Dude Sorry.

Look, just Okay, listen.

Cass is in Heaven seeing if they know where Chuck went or anything.

Oh, yeah, 'cause angels, they're always really happy to help.

And I'm sick, and you got a ticket.

It happens.

We'll deal, we - [ENGINE STRUGGLING]

- What's going on?

- What're you doing?

- I don't know.

No, no, baby, don't do this to me.

Don't do this to me.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, baby Baby, please don't do this.

- Seriously?

- Oh, come on!

[ENGINE STRUGGLING, TIMING BELT SCREECHING]

[ENGINE STOPS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

[SPUTTERING CONTINUES]

Yeah.

Normal.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

GARTH: Who's daddy's big boy?

Here comes the airplane!

Rrrrr!

[LAUGHS]

Come here.

Little bite.

There we go, buddy.

It's good.

Isn't that so good?

Hey, Sammy.

Open wide.

Here comes the airplane.

Rrrrr.

Oh, yeah, that's good stuff, isn't it?

[SPITS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

You got me, you little stinker.

But Daddy was prepared this time.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- Uh, Gertie?

- Yeah.

- Can you watch the boys?

- Sure.

Thank you.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- Is that them?

- It's gotta be.

Hey!

There they are.

Come in.

- Garth.

- Hey, hey.

Come here, you.

Oh.

Oh, I'm I'm sick.

Sorry.

Oh.

You Okay.

Still a hugger, huh?

You know it.

You smell so good.

And we're done.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What took you guys so long?

We, uh W-We had to walk.

Yeah, car broke down about 10 miles back.

I think it's the plugs.

- Really?

- Yeah, we're having a super normal day.

Okay.

Well, no worries.

We'll fix you up.

Daddy, the twins are still hungry.

Be right there, baby.

Come on.

Come back and meet the kids.

- You've got more kids?

- Oh-ho-ho, yeah.

Got a couple'a pups.

So, this is my daughter Gertie.

Gertie, say hi to Daddy's friends.

- Hi.

- Hi.

And these are the twins.

This is Sam.

I, uh, sorta named him after you.

Wow.

That's, uh Wow.

That means this one must be Castiel.

Yeah.

Um [CLEARS THROAT]

On the phone, you said there was something wrong with your cousin?

Oh, not mine, Bess's.

He's, uh Well I think you should see for yourself.

BESS: I tried to wake him, but he's in and out.

He's hurt pretty bad.

This dude's a werewolf?

Pure blood, like me.

SAM: So what happened to him?

We're not sure.

Cops found him down around St.

Cloud, in Minnesota.

DEAN: Those look like Kn*fe wounds.

That's what the cops thought, too, but they're not.

They're from a wraith.

Brad whoever did this to him thought he was dead, and they dumped him in a swamp.

But he somehow managed to climb out, and the cops found his body by the road.

And Bess has been looking after him, but why would a wraith go after a wolf?

Hmm.

When he comes to, we'll ask him.

[MUNCHES]

Son of a [SNEEZES]

[SNIFFLES]

Sorry.

- I'm, uh - Sick.

I know.

Come with me.

I've got something for you.

You know, I gotta say, aside from pincushion in there this is pretty nice.

Yeah, better than I ever thought I'd get.

I mean, hunting I figured I'd be dead before I'm 40.

You know, go out young and pretty.

But now I've got a great wife, great kids.

I guess sometimes things work out.

Yeah, sometimes.

Good, man.

You deserve it.

You do.

- Thanks, man.

- Yeah.

What's up with your teeth?

- What?

- Your teeth.

They hurt, right?

A little.

A lot.

- Since when?

- Since yesterday.

Mm.

All right, come on.

- What?

- Come on.

What are we doing?

Garth, what are we do Oh, no.

You know what?

I'm good.

[GRUNTS]

Get in the chair, Dean.

No You're very strong.

Ohh.

Uh, you know, you you you really don't have to It's my daddy's secret recipe.

Cure everything and anything.

What's in it?

What part of "secret" don't you understand?

Garth, you're not a dentist.

Oh, yes, I am.

I, uh, was getting my degree when the whole Hunter thing happened, and I, you know k*lled the Tooth Fairy.

She had it coming.

Anyway, after I left Hunting, I went back to school, got my degree.

Now I've got a good little practice going.

There.

It's not like all the wolves around here can go to a regular doc.

Can't with all the cow hearts we eat.

Fang maintenance is a B.

You've got to floss all the time.

Mm.

Yeah, actually, it's it's not too, uh [BABY COOS]

Oh, God.

I will tell you it's mostly cayenne pepper.

What?

Oh, God.

[SHUDDERING]

Mommy, the giant's crying.

[SHUDDERED BREATHING]

[CHAIR MOTOR WHIRRING]

GARTH: There.

Ohh.

Aah.

[GRUNTING]

Every Every Everything is burning.

[BABY CRYING]

- Open wide.

- Mnh-mnh.

Come on, buddy.

Here comes the airplane.

Mm.

When was the last time you saw a dentist?

I 'unno.

Never.

[BABIES CRYING]

[GASPING]

[LAUGHS]

All right.

I do see a few cavities.

How many?

- 17.

- What?

But don't you worry.

'Cause I've got you.

- [GASPING]

- [BABIES CRYING]

How do you think I feel?

GARTH: Here we go.

You're gonna be fine.

- What is this?

- Dean - [GAS HISSING]

- I'm doing this for your own good, buddy.

Okay.

- [BABY CRYING]

- Hey, I'm okay.

Big Sam is o-okay.

[GROANS]

There you go.

Let the gas do its thing.

Deep breaths.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Everything's fine.

Yeah.

There you go.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[IRVING AARONSON'S "LET'S MISBEHAVE" PLAYS]

[SHOES TAPPING]

We're all alone No chaperone Can get our number The world's in slumber Let's misbehave There's something wild about you, child That's so contagious Let's be outrageous Let's misbehave When Adam won Eve's hand He wouldn't stand for teasin' He didn't care about Those apples out of season They say the spring means just one thing To little lovebirds We're not above birds Let's misbehave [SCATTING]

Let's misbehave Let's misbehave.

[GROANS]

Hey, Slugger.

You're all done.

You did good.

Mm.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Kids are finally asleep.

How are you feeling?

Uh Better, actually.

- I told you.

- Yeah.

Hey.

Where have you been?

Gettung ma teef fixed.

I had to numb him up.

He'll be fine in an hour.

Mm.

What?

- Okay.

- [SPITS]

Seriously what is going on here?

What do you mean?

I mean, apparently Dean's never been to a dentist before, and suddenly he got a mouthful of cavities, you're sick, and your car is broken down.

Who did you guys piss off?

God.

I'm sorry.

What?

Yeah.

God.

The God is trying to k*ll you?

Well, uh, trying to make us k*ll each other.

GARTH: So, he's a writer, and you've basically been the heroes of his story?

I guess, yeah.

Huh.

Well, what's that make me?

A supporting character?

Special guest star?

No, Garth, it's not like that.

Oh, no, no, no.

I want to be the guest star.

Being the hero sucks.

I mean, sure, you'll probably win eventually, but until you do, your life blows.

Your parents get gunned down in an alleyway.

Your home planet gets blown up.

You, uh, interview this good-looking rich guy, and it doesn't go well, so he shows up at the hardware store where you work, and, man, it starts to get, you know It's from, uh We love "Fifty Shades".

Yeah, we do.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Who's the hero in that?

No, no, no.

The point is, the hero thing it's not fun.

Well, I mean, there are some good things about it.

Like, uh, when was the last time that Batman got a flat tire?

Or Superman couldn't pay his water bill?

Or the power goes out in the Red Room?

Exactly.

See, the hero never sweats the small stuff.

It slows down the story.

So, then, what happened?

Chuck downgraded us?

Maybe, yeah.

- And now you're - Cursed.

C-Cursed.

Cursed.

No normal.

For the first time in your lives, you're having normal-people problems.

You need to get a colonoscopy, stat.

What?

So how do we fix this?

I don't know.

BRAD: Bess?!

Bess?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Who're they?

They're friends.

Like Hunter friends?

Brad, they're cool.

Now tell us what happened to you.

Fell down the stairs.

SAM: Brad, listen, we don't care that you're a werewolf, but you got att*cked by a wraith, which is really weird.

Now, we're just trying to understand what happened.

So help us.

Please.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow.

I mean, wow.

With the furrowed brow and the puppy eyes did you see that?

That never actually works for you, does it?

Aah!

Answer the question.

Ow!

Okay!

[GRUNTS]

It's It's a place monsters go.

They fight for money.

Money?

Like, real money?

Hey, I can talk.

Good for you.

Yeah, real money.

Okay?

They pay to watch it.

They livestream it on the Dark Web or whatever.

Wait a second.

So So, you Yeah, I needed the cash.

Got three baby mamas I got bills.

This place where is it?

I know you don't want to tell us, but Belgrade, Minnesota.

Old warehouse off Peach Street.

Well, that was easy.

Yeah, well, lot of fangs in there.

You know, I figure you two walk in, they're gonna rip you to pieces.

[LAUGHS]

Ow!

Really?!

I don't think you should go.

Garth, we don't have a choice, okay?

That many freaks in one place?

You know they're dropping bodies.

Yeah, but the old Sam and Dean, they could've handled this, no problem.

But you guys Can't?

Hey, look, just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass or whatever doesn't mean that we're gonna give up.

This is our job.

It's what we do.

And, yeah, it might be a little harder right now, but so what?

Bring it.

What he said.

All right.

Then I'm coming, too.

Oh, no, no, no.

No.

Garth, come on.

You got a family, okay?

You got a life.

If something went wrong and, right now, with us, everything's going wrong we're not doing that to Bess, to the kids.

Okay, you're right.

Well, at least let me get you a new set of spark plugs.

Yeah.

Deal.

[BRAKES SQUEAL]

[GRUNTS]

Isolated, run-down yep, that'll do Monster Bloodsport.

This should be perfect.

Oh, man.

Bess makes the best grilled cheese.

Yeah, you ate like seven of them.

Well, I'm a growing boy.

Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

Dean Extra rounds, dead man's blood, first-aid kit, emergency flares Seriously?

Dude, if Garth was right, if we're really normal now, we can't just charge in there g*ns blazing.

We need to be ready for anything.

Well, I guess we'd need a grenade launcher.

Hey, sweetheart.

I don't think we've used that .

38 in about four years.

Hyah!

Hyah!

Welcome to Fight Club.

[CLATTERS]

I You forget how to walk?

[STOMACH GURGLING]

- Oh.

- What was that?

[GRUNTS]

Not good, that's - [GURGLING CONTINUES]

- You okay?

[GROANS]

Oh, God.

[GURGLING CONTINUES]

I gotta go.

- Go?

- I-I gotta go.

- What?

- Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom.

Dean?

Dean?

[VOMITING]

You know, I think you might be lactose-intolerant now.

[DEAN VOMITING LOUDLY]

- I'm ok - [VOMITING CONTINUES]

[GAGS]

Sam?

Sammy?

Oh, please, just k*ll me now.

Can do.

[VOMITS]

[SCOFFS]

Can't believe they got the drop on me.

I didn't even hear them coming.

Yeah, well, I got jumped while I was in the crapper, okay?

I win.

"Normal"?

Sucks.

[DOOR OPENS]

Sam, Dean?

Can I get you anything?

Water?

Hot towel?

Who are you?

Cutty.

This is my place.

Oh, so all this chain-link, razor wire, and rat crap is yours, huh?

Well, congrats.

So, now you know me, and I know you.

We're like friends.

You keep all your friends in a cage?

Only the ones I really like.

All right.

So, what're you?

A monster?

I am.

Shifter.

Shifter?

So you chose that face?

But I don't let my gifts define me.

See, more than anything, I'm a sportsman.

See, to me, man, monster, they're at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition.

Right.

Yeah, sure, I could've k*lled you, but no.

I want to see your best.

I want to see what the Winchesters are capable of.

Stripped down, closed in, just you against the world.

Or Maul here.

[GROWLING]

"Maul"?

That Maul?

Come on, man.

What's your real name, huh?

Marvin?

Marion?

m*rder.

[GROWLS]

You want us to fight?

CUTTY: Obviously.

Together, though.

I don't want to break up the team.

You sure about that?

'Cause if you know us, you know the stories.

See, me and my brother here, we've taken down way bigger fellas than, uh, [CLICKS TONGUE]

Meredith here.

[GROWLS]

We've k*lled angels, k*lled demons, Gods, and Alphas.

So why don't you do yourself a favor cut your losses, let us walk out that door before we burn this craphole to the ground.

Yeah no.

Maul will show you to your rooms.

[GROWLING]

[BELL DINGS]

ANNOUNCER: Tonight, two of Fight Night's biggest rivals will face off in the ring again!

k*ller Wraith versus Jamaica Djinn!

Who will claim victory, and who will suffer defeat?

And then, in this ring, the mighty Maul returns, and this time, he'll take on the merciless Winchesters!

Get ready for a battle royale!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

All right, all right.

Fighters to the ring.

[CROWD SHOUTING, CHEERING]

There's a lot of people lot of monsters out there.

DEAN: Awesome.

Yeah, it's just how I wanted to die with a freakin' audience.

- [BELL DINGS]

- Fight!

[ROARS]

What are you doing?

Baby, come on, come on.

Ha ha!

I'm picking the lock.

[CLICKING]

[CHEERING]

Hurry.

- Can't get it.

- What?

Ow!

Broke a nail.

Here, let me do it.

Here, come on.

[CROWD CHEERING]

We do this all the time.

What the hell?

Friggin' normal!

That's what.

- [NAIL CLANGS]

- Aw, come on!

So could we ever actually pick locks, or was it Chuck this whole time?

Well, dude, if we can't do this, then how the hell are we supposed to take care of Supervamp out there?

I don't think we can.

[CROWD BOOING]

No way.

Wait.

After everything, there's no way that Chuck lets us die like this.

Or he does, to I don't know to teach us a lesson.

Or maybe we just end up paralyzed.

No, we gotta win.

We gotta win, man.

That's not gonna be easy, okay?

But you and me?

Not everything we did was because of Chuck.

It was us the blood, the sweat, the tears, man.

That's us.

[CROWD BOOING]

[GROWLING]

We've been doing this our whole lives.

We're the best in the world.

So I say we go out there.

I say we go out there, and we kick some ass.

- [BELL DINGS]

- [CHEERING]

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER: Your winner Djinn!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the main event!

Your first fighter, weighing in at 310 pounds, the mighty Maul!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[ROARS]

ANNOUNCER: And his opponent sorry, opponents straight out of Lawrence, Kansas.

You know them, you don't like them the Winchesters!

[CROWD BOOING]

It's time.

Oh, and, boys?

Shirts off.

Damn it!

[DEAN COUGHING]

I think a bug went in my throat.

[COUGHING]

Oh, freakin' normal.

- [BELL DINGS]

- ANNOUNCER: Your winner Djinn!

Dean?

Dean!

It's time for Garth?!

Yo.

- What are you doing?

- I tried to call, and when you didn't pick up, I figured you were super boned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're super boned.

Super boned!

Come on.

Get us out of here.

- [GROWLS]

- Hurry.

You are so strong.

Let's roll.

So strong.

It's time.

Oh, and, boys?

Shirts off.

Damn it!

Come on!

We gotta We gotta get somewhere!

We gotta regroup!

We gotta come up with a plan!

[CROWD BOOING]

Garth?

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

We gotta get outta here before the Monster Squad shows up!

- I've already got a plan.

- What?

The Monster Squad were the good guys.

We're the Monster Squad.

[DETONATOR BEEPS]

[expl*si*n]

C-4 a Hunter's best friend.

Cool, right?

- Thanks, Garth.

- [LAUGHS]

All right.

Bring it in.

- Oh.

- Well, still [ROARING]

[BONES CRACKING]

No way.

Go!

I've got this.

[ROARING]

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]

Garth Garth!

[GROWLS]

Hey, did you believe me when I said I thought we could win this thing?

- Nope.

- Yeah, me neither.

[GROWLS]

Bring it on, Madison!

Hyah!

Ohh!

[BODY THUDS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[CHUCKLES]

Unh!

Hyah!

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLS]

Ooh.

[GRUNTS]

[CHOKES]

This was fun.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

[GASPS]

Fun.

Huh?

Unh!

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[GROWLS]

[FLESH RENDS]

He got Garth'd.

Aha-ha!

[HIGHER-PITCHED]

It's weird.

It, like, hurts in my stomach.

It's not even It's, like, up here.

It's, like, where my ribs are.

I don't know why.

Has my voice gone higher?

[BABY COOS]

This Cass keeps looking at me weird.

So kind of like the real Cass.

I packed you some of those grilled-cheese sandwiches you love.

Oh.

Oh, thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GROWLS]

Uh, you know what?

I think this guy's got a little something for you.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

We better go.

Oh.

Okay.

Bye.

I'll walk you out.

- Okay.

- Bye, guys.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Hey, listen, Garth, I just want to say, what what you did Ah.

It was nothing.

Nothing?

You saved us and blew up a bunch of monsters.

That's not nothing.

That's That's being a hero.

[CHUCKLES]

I guess I learned from the best.

You guys, you gonna be okay?

What?

Because we're normal?

That, and because the Almighty's after you.

Right, yeah.

Um, I, uh We don't know.

Listen, I wasn't gonna say this earlier, but there might be something that could help.

What kind of something?

I heard this story once about this place you can go if your luck's gone bad.

What kind of place?

Not sure.

The guy who told me said it was in Alaska, on the road between Barrow and Kotzebue.

He said, "You'll know it when you see it", whatever that means.

Look, it might not even be real, and you know this stuff works.

There's always a catch.

And being normal I mean, maybe you'll get used to it.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Anyway, if you ever need anything We know.

Good.

Thanks for everything.

All right, Garth.

[SNIFFS]

Hey, you know what?

You don't smell too bad yourself.

Thanks.

It's Hai Karate.

Okay.

Stay safe out there.

You too.

[WARREN ZEVON'S "WEREWOLVES OF LONDON" PLAYS]

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

Aa-hooo!

Werewolves of London Well, you were awesome at the Macarena.

Yeah.

Aa-hooo!

Werewolves of London So What now?

I don't know.

Garth's right stuff like that, there's always a downside.

And being normal Is fine.

For normal people with normal problems.

But you and me?

There's zero about our lives that's normal.

And the way things are going, if we don't fix this, we might k*ll each other by accident.

[SCOFFS]

Yeah.

And if when Chuck comes back, we can't go up against him like this.

[SNIFFLES]

So, uh Alaska?

Alaska.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[ENGINE STRUGGLING]

[ENGINE STOPS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Aa-hooo!

Son of a bitch!