Thunderclap.
ZBZ house - Casey & Ashleigh's room
Casey screams.
Ashleigh : Calm down, Jamie Lee, it's just me.
Casey : I know. That nail polish is super scary.
Ashleigh : Be serious. I have a crucial question to ask you. Do these need more rhinestones ?
Casey : Ash, they're puffy paint perfection ! The pledges are gonna flip.
Ashleigh : I know, right ? Why you're going through the trouble ? We didn't have a party when we were pledges.
Casey : It's simple. Today's pledges are tomorrow's voters.
Ashleigh : Wow, you said Obama was cute but this campaign event seems extreme.
Casey : for Zeta Beta President, you dork. With Franny, and the rest of the house away at the Indiana game, it's the perfect opportunity for me to impress the girls. There are a ton of fun exercises in my Pledge Educator handbook. After tonight the girls will be bonded to each other, to Zeta Beta, and most of all, to me.
Ashleigh : They must be so excited !
Casey : Oh, that's the best part. I told them to pack for a mystery location. I can't wait to surprise them !
ZBZ house – Living room
Rebecca : We missed an away game to spend the night in the living room ?
Casey : Girls, tonight is about sisterhood. It's about all of us talking the time to connect on a deeper level. By morning, we'll truly be sisters. Now, who's up for a trust fall ?
Thunderclap.
Rebecca sighs.
Omega Chi House – Living room
TV is on.
Calvin : OK, so I finished mopping the floors, cleaned bathrooms. Anything else ?
Evan : Yeah, uh, just one more thing. It's time to repaint the kitchen.
Calvin : Uh... (chuckles) It's Friday night. Everyone else is out of town at the game.
Evan : Oh, poor Pledge Owens. You know, I drew the short stick and got house duty too but you don't see me getting teary. Now, come on, if I'm here, then my Little Bro is here.
Calvin : All right, where's the paint ?
Evan : I'm screwing with you ! Come on, plant a cheek; Let's hang out for a bit.
Calvin : Oh. Well, actually I...
Evan : What ? You've got someplace you'd rather be ?
Calvin : No, no, no. I, um...No, this is...great.
Evan : Yeah.
Thunderclap.
Evan : Want to watch TV ?
Calvin : Love TV.
TV is on again.
Evan : Damn. Look like we've got a mouse.
Calvin : Well, that sucks.
Evan : Well, you know what sucks is you pledges still don't know how to clean. Got you're easy.
They smiles.
Evan : Oh, check it out, “Alien”.
Calvin sends a text message to Heath. “Still at the house might be a while”
KT House – Living room.
Plain White T's : Friends don't let friends dial drunk.
Heat receives Calvin's text message.
A man : Spitter, a beer please. Thanks. You're the man.
Rusty meets Cappie who is sitting on the stairs.
Rusty : Hey, why the long face ? This party got your three favorite things : beer, girls, ans a several warning.
Cappie : I'm in a funk, Spitter.
Rusty : Come on. Look at all the hot mamas here. I'm currently off the market because I'm in a relationship. But if I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd be all over this.
Cappie : Subtle.
A girl : Cappie.
Rusty : What about her ?
Cappie : We call her Saran Wrap. Clingy.
An other girl passes.
Rusty : She's pretty.
Cappie : Her perfume gives me hives.
Girl 3 : Cappie.
Rusty : Now what could be wrong with her ?
Cappie : Sleep apnea.
Rusty : You are in a funk.
Cappie : Yeah, I just feel like I'm watching TV and all that's on is reruns, you know ? Maybe I just need a furlough from the females. I could spend some time indulging my other interests. Like beer. And “Days of our Lives”. And mentoring today's youth. Speaking of which, tell me about this girlfriend of yours ?
Rusty : Well... Her name is Jen K, and she has these soft, fluffy pink lips that I could kiss forever.
Doorbell rings.
Cappie : Hold that thought.
Cappie opens the front door to meet a motor girl.
Thunderclap.
The girl : My Harley popped a flat down the road. Can I come in ?
Cappie : Dear God, yes.
Credits
ZBZ House – Living room
Thunder rumbles.
Casey : Okay, everyone has a partner ?
Jen K is with Rebecca.
Jen K : Best Friday night ever, right ? Way better than reruns of “Ghost Whisperer”. We've been pledge sisters for six weeks, but we've barely even spoken.
Rebecca : It boggles the mind.
Casey : this is about trusting that your sisters will always be there for you, that they will catch you when you fall. And trusting that they won't be skanky sluts who sleep with your boyfriend. So, when you're ready, fall back and feel the support of the Zeta Beta sisterhood !
Girls chuckling.
Rebecca doesn't care of Jen K.
Rebecca : Ooh ! Ouija board !
Jen K falls back.
Casey : Oh, my God, are you okay ?
Jen K groans.
Jen K : Brain pain.
Rebecca : Who wants to go first ?
All : Oh, I do.
Casey : We'll have time later once we get through my agenda of activities.
Rebecca : Casey, this corporate retreat ha been a non-stop funfest. But what better way to learn about Zeta Beta legacy than by talking to some old dead sisters ?
All : Yeah.
Rebecca : That is, unless you're scared.
Casey : Rebecca, you should know that I'm not scared of things that are evil.
Rebecca : Prove it.
Casey : Fine. And then we can move on.
Rebecca : Is anyone there ?
Casey : looks like nobody's home.
Rebecca : They must be at the football game.
Rebecca glaps.
Rebecca : Look ! A spirit moves among us.
Casey : Please, Rebecca totally moved it.
Rebecca : Spirit, tell us who you are !
All : V...I...R...G...I...N.
Thunderclap.
Casey : Virgin. I stand corrected. It's not Rebecca. Now, back to bonding. How about some pledge trivia ?
Rebecca : or, we could tell ghost stories !
All : Yeah. Let's do that.
KT House – Living room
Cappie : Welcome to Kappa Tau. I'm Cappie, your humble servant.
The girl : Cappie, huh ? Cute.
Cappie : So I've been told. And, uh... And you are ?
The girl : Destiny.
Cappie sighs.
Cappie : Exotic. Cosmic. Me likey. These are other people. May I take your jacket ?
Destiny : Fine.
Cappie : Destiny, you are …
Destiny : Thirsty. Pour me a drink?
Cappie : What would you like ?
Destiny : Something with a bite to it.
Cappie : I’ll get you something you can sink your teeth into.
Cappie leaves.
Beaver : So should we call someone ?
Destiny : Why ?
Rusty : To fix your bike ?
Destiny : Oh, right. I'll let the storm blow over.
Beaver : Are you a student ?
Destiny : You ask a lot of question. Do I need to have my lawyer present ? Kidding. You learn to ask that in prison. Kidding.
Destiny leaves.
Rusty : She's odd.
Beaver : Yeah. Oddly hot.
ZBZ House – In the hallway.
Jen K is sitting on the stairs and Casey comes.
Thunderclap.
Cell phone ringing.
Casey : Let me guess, it's from my brother. My, oh, my, isn't he captain Romance ?
Jen K smiles.
Casey : How's the head wound ?
Jen K : I'm not showing any signs of a concussion, So I should be OK.
Casey : Are you pre-med ?
Jen K : No, just clumsy.
Casey : I see.
Jen K : So I guess this proves Rebecca Logan can't be trusted.
Casey : That was proven long ago.
Jen K : Via text message.
Casey : Exactly. Wait a second. How did you know about that video ?
Jen K : I sent it.
Casey : What ?
Jen K : Rebecca and I were in the same rush group. I had a front row seat that night for her little indiscretion. I thought you deserved to know.
Casey : Wow. That video was painful to watch.
Jen K : So I shouldn't have sent it ?
Casey : No, no. I'm glad you did. In a weird way it helped me process and purge. I cant' believe you were the cell phone Scorsese.
Jen K : Scorsese ? You think ? I felt the framing was a little off, especially towards the end. I'm sorry (chuckles). Sometimes I misinterpret snappy banter. Just know that I was only trying to help. No matter what, there's always one pledge who's on you side.
Casey : Thanks, Jen K.
Jen K : Oh, I didn't mean me. I was talking about Mandy.
Casey : Funny. You're really funny. I can see why my brother's so into you.
Thunderclap.
ZBZ House – Living room.
Rebecca : Legend has it, the ghost was the spirit of an old student who was the golden girl on campus. Class president, prom queen, all that crap. But, she'd suffered a horrible humiliation. I heard it was some sort of a sex scandal. Anyway, she became the laughingstock of the entire school. And the humiliation mad her snap !
Girls gasp.
Rebecca : She took a razor blade and slashed the throats of the most popular girls at school. Then she arranged the bodies in an elaborate fake slumber party. And that's how they found her, covered in blood, pretending she had friends.
Door opens.
Ashleigh : Dobler's is closed. Can you freaking believe it ?
Casey : Perhaps because of the tornado watch.
Ashleigh : So ? It's karaoke Friday ! Their loss. I was gonna do my reggae version of “Lady Marmelade”.
Casey : Ash ! Rebecca is totally hijacking my slumber party. She's in there telling ghost stories. Help me get control back.
Ashleigh : No problem. Let me handle this. Everyone listen up ! Dis you know that a ZBZ d*ed in this house ?
Casey : Ash !
Thunderclap.
Ashleigh : Her name was Virginia.
Rebecca : I bet that was the Ouija board was spelling !
All : Yeah.
Light is off. All gasping.
Rebecca : See ? Told ya.
Omega Chi House – Living room
Generator fizzles.
Both : No !
Evan : Oh, man ! Just was just about to blow it out the airlock !
Calvin : Thanks !
Evan : What ?
Calvin : Now I know how it ends.
Evan : I'm sorry.
Calvin : Gotcha !
Evan : Oh, ho, ho !
Calvin : Who's easy now ?
Evan : I've seen that movie like 87 times.
Calvin : Cell phones are out too.
Evan : What can two guys do alone in the dark ?
Calvin : Uh...Uh, how about we catch that mouse ?
Evan : Great idea !
Calvin : Yeah.
KT House – Living room.
Destiny : Did you arrange this lighting ?
Cappie : Well, I do look best in candlelight.
Destiny chuckles.
Destiny : And how do I look ?
Cappie : You look...familiar.
Destiny : Let me guess, you've seen me in your dreams ? Come on Cappie, is that the best you've got ?
Cappie : I love your smile. I just want to put it in my pocket.
Destiny : I love your eyes. I want to gouge them out and wear them on a chain around my neck.
Thunderclap.
Cappie : You're a little bit twisted. Refreshing.
Rusty comes.
Rusty : cap, can I borrow a candle ? I'm gonna look for some flashlights.
Rusty leave to find a radio-light.
Whirring.
Woman : Will be in effect...(Static) High winds have knocked out power lines throughout the area. Everyone is advised to stay inside.
Whirring.
Rusty finds a note in Destiny bad.
“Kappa Tau Gamma – 129 Chancellor St. - Cyprus, Ohio”
Rusty : She came here on purpose.
ZBZ House – Living room.
Girls murmuring.
Casey : Hold the hysteria, everyone. It's just the storm.
Rebecca : Or is it Virginia ?
Casey : There is no Virginia. Right, Ash ?
Ashleigh : Then, why did they make this ?
Casey : What is that doing here ?
Ashleigh : Franny hung it there. She said it was too depressing for daily viewing.
Jen K : I wonder how she d*ed.
Rebecca : She was probably m*rder*d. By a serial k*ller. Who ate her !
Thunderclap.
All gasp.
Casey : Please. I'm sure she d*ed of something boring like cancer. And, Ash, we don't know she d*ed in the house.
Ashleigh : If only we could Google her.
Casey : Ah, but we can't. Moving on. How about we all gather around for a sharing circle ?
Rebecca : We could use this.
Ashleigh : Oh, right ! Books ! Duh !
KT House – Living room.
A man : Where's the lights Spitter ?
Man 2 : Yeah, man.
Wade : Spitter ! Cut it out.
Rusty : Sorry. Wade, have you seen Cappie.
Wade : No.
Rusty : That girl Cappie's with has been lying to us. She said she came across this house by accident, but I found our address in her purse. What should we do ?
Man 2 : Spitter, come on.
Rusty : Wade ? You there ?
Omega Chi House
Evan : Ok, “Alien” versus “Aliens”. Discuss.
Calvin : What's there to discuss ? “Alien”. Sigourney Weaver, uh, Ridley Scott, it's in an different league.
Evan : Yeah. I don't know though. I don't know. I mean, “Aliens” had James Cameron. And Paul Reiser.
Calvin : Paul Reiser ? You call that an argument ?
Evan chuckling.
Calvin : No “Alien” is a classic. Like “Jaws”.
Evan : Uh, please, don't... don't bring up “Jaws”. My sister d*ed in a shark att*ck.
Calvin : Yeah, right.
Evan : No, it's true. It was two summers ago. We were taking surfing lessons in Hawaii. She'd just caught her first wave. I'll never forget the smile on her face. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere a fin appeared.
Calvin : Oh my God.
Evan : Yeah. We screamed for her to paddle but it was too late. The shark att*cked.
Thunderclap.
Evan : She screamed... 'I can't believe you're buying this, Calvin !”
Calvin : Oh, you jackass !
Evan : No, no, I don't even have a sister, only brothers. And a addiction to horror movies.
Calvin : Oh, same here.
Evan : Really ?
Calvin : Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid my parents would only let me watch PBS. Late a night, I would sneak downstairs and stay up all night watching horror movies.
Evan : Watching two inches away and you keep the volume low.
Calvin : Which made it even scarier.
Evan : I know ! Plus, in those 1980s slasher movies, there's always a hot girl flashing her boobs.
Calvin : Yeah.
Evan : Yeah. Do you hear that ?
Calvin : Evan.
Evan : What ?
Calvin : It's right behind you.
Calvin laughing.
Calvin : Oh, Evan.
Evan : Yeah, you'll pay for that, Owens.
Calvin : That's for you dead sister.
Both scream.
Evan : What ?
Squeaking.
Evan : I think I'll need a bigger spatula.
Calvin : Yeah.
KT House
Rusty : Cappie ?
Rusty screams and pants.
Destiny : Manly scream you got there.
Rusty : Yeah, well, you surprised me. Have you seen Cappie ?
Destiny : I’m not his mother. Is the bathroom this way ?
Rusty : Yeah. Destiny, wait ! Why are you here ?
Destiny : Someone needs to work on their listening. I told you, my bike broke down.
Rusty : How do you explain this ?
Destiny : Where did you get that ?
Rusty : Never mind that. I'm on to you.
Wade : Relax.
Rusty : Hey, Wade...
Muffled yelling.
Wade : Nice one, Spitter !
Rusty : Who are you ? Sydney Bristow ?
Destiny : OK, listen, I came here to see Cappie.
Rusty : You know him ?
Destiny : We went to Camp Kitchi-Wa-Wa together ten years ago.
Rusty : Why didn't you just say so ?
Destiny sights.
Destiny : Because...God, this is so embarrassing. Look... My real name isn't Destiny. It's Patty. Back in Camp, I was the fat girl. A total outcast. Cappie was the only thing that made it worthwhile. I had such a crush on him. But he was part of the cool crowd. So I promised myself that one day I'd make him notice me.
Rusty : You chose tonight ?
Destiny : I drove up from West Virginia. Just my luck, there's a freakin' hurricane outside.
Rusty : Let's get Cappie and tell him.
Destiny : No ! No, this is our little secret. If you tell Cappie it'll ruin our moment.
Rusty : He deserves to know who you really are.
Destiny : This is who I really am ! Are you the sale person you were back then ?
Rusty : No, I'm not.
Destiny : See ? I swear I'll tell him eventually. Cool ?
Rusty : Fine ! Could you please release your kung fu grip ?
Destiny : This is me being gentle. If I wanted to, I could snap it like a twig. I'm real glad we had this chat.
ZBZ House – Living room
Ashleigh : I found her. Oh my God, she's wearing the Rachel. Hello, hair cliché !
Jen K : It says here that she was Pledge Educator, just like you, Casey.
Rebecca : Really ? I wonder if she planned a slumber party.
Jen K : In fact, she ran for President. But according to these minutes, she lost by one vote to Trudy Henderson. Oh, my gosh !
Casey : What ?
Jen K : The election was the day she d*ed.
Rebecca : You guys, I found out how Virginia croaked. She hung herself from the chandelier.
All : O, my gosh. Gross.
Jen K : She must have been really depressed about losing.
Casey : How sad ?
Rebecca : Sad ? It's pathetic. Who makes that big of a deal about a stupid sorority election ?
Thunderclap.
The chandelier falls down. All screaming.
KT House
Plain White T's : Making a Memory
Cappie : You're hypnotizing me with those hips, aren't you ?
Destiny : Go ahead. Try and pinch an inch. You can't, can you ?
Cappie : You're perfect.
Destiny : I'm perfect for you.
Cappie : I couldn't agree more.
Rusty comes.
Rusty : Cappie, you've got to come quick !
Cappie : What is it, Lassie ? Is the barn burning down ?
Destiny : Yeah. Can't you see we're kind of busy ?
Rusty : It's Beaver. He's drunk. And he's peeing in your closet.
Cappie sighs.
Cappie : Not again. All right. Stay here, I'll be right back.
KT House – Cappie's room
Cappie : Well, they're urine-free. You must have given him stage fright.
Rusty : Cap, we don't have much time.
Cappie : That's why we should live in the moment.
Rusty : No, I mean until Destiny finds us. She's not who you think she is.
Cappie : She's not a hot girl ?
Rusty : No, she is.
Cappie : The she's exactly who I think she is.
Rusty : But you know her. She went to camp with you.
Cappie : What ?
Rusty : Listen, I might die for telling you this, but her name isn't Destiny. It's Patty.
Cappie : Patty ? From camp ? The only Patty there was Patty the Fatty. Oh, my God, she's Patty the Fatty ! What are the odds that she'd get a flat tire outside of our house ? Oh, my God, she came to see me.
Rusty : Yeah. She's always had a crush on you. She spent the past ten years getting in shape. So you two could have a second chance.
Cappie : That is really...
Rusty : Insane.
Cappie : Hot !
Rusty : What ?
Cappie : A fat girl turn into a hot chick for me. It's like... It's like a Reese Witherspoon movie ! She went through all that trouble to get into shape, the least I can do is reward her effort, right ?
Rusty : But she sounds crazy.
Rusty : Crazy like a fox. A super fox in leather, to be specific. I'm flattered. You need to relax.
Rusty : Listen. No... Cap. I think she's dangerous. She's really strong ans she got these crazy eyes. She tried to...
Cappie : Wow. You're really mowing that grassy knoll, huh ? I think I can handle her, Spitter.
ZBZ House – In the hallway
Casey : Breathe, girls. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This is all because of the storm.
Ashleigh : The storm entered and knocked down the chandelier ?
Casey : No, the chandelier is older than Madonna. We've been trying to get an electrician in here to secure it. The wind made the house vibrate, which was enough to make it fall.
Rebecca : But Casey, I saw the electrician in here last week.
Casey : that's not possible.
Rebecca : This has got to be Virginia. She is one pissed poltergeist !
Thunderclap.
Casey : you're freaking the girls out.
Rebecca : Good, it's working.
Casey : What is your problem ?
Rebecca : These girls might buy your slumber party bonding crap, but I see right through it. You just want their votes.
Casey : That's not true.
Rebecca : It's good politics. I'm actually impressed.
Casey : Why are you sabotaging it ?
Rebecca : Well, first there's the whole arch nemesis thing. But also, I feel my pledge sisters deserve to see how their future leader reacts in a crisis.
Ashleigh : Wait, everyone, shut up ! I know how to fix this. We need to have a séance !
Rebecca : Great Idea !
Omega Chi House
Creaking.
Evan : You see anything ?
Calvin : No yet. He's too fat to have gone far. Evan, three o'clock.
Squeaking.
Evan : All right, begin Operation Rodent Round-up.
Calvin : Dinnertime, Mr. Rat.
Evan : On three.
Calvin : OK.
Evan : OK. Ready ?
Calvin : Ready.
Evan : One... Two...
Squeaking.
Thunderclap.
Evan : What the hell was that ?
Calvin : I don't know.
KT House
Heath : Hey, Rusty. What you watching ?
Rusty : A freaky, delusional romance that could have deadly consequences.
Heath : Uh – huh. So do you know how to work this thingy ? I was kind of wondering when cell service is gonna be back.
Whirring.
Heath : Cool. It's like magic.
Rusty : Actually, it's a simple crank generator that turns friction into electricity.
Heath : Or magic !
Man on radio : This is just : Stonybrook Mental Institution reports that one of their patients has escaped. She's described as a Caucasian woman, five-foot-eight...(Static)
Whirring.
Man on radio : ...years old. Listeners are warmed to avoid contact since she is considered unstable and extremely dangerous.
Heath : Scary.
Rusty : you have no idea.
ZBZ House
Ashleigh : we're already.
Casey : This is ridiculous, Ash.
Ashleigh : Trust me. I had a Goth phase In middle school. This séance will work.
Rebecca : Yeah, Casey. We gotta see this through. Virginia's trying to tell us something.
Casey : Probably that there's no such thing as ghosts.
Ashleigh : Shh ! OK, we all must be quiet and relaxed. Everyone close your eyes and hold hands.
Rebecca : Eww ! Clammy.
Ashleigh : Virginia Horton, the sisters of Zeta Beta Zeta invite you to commune with us
Casey : Maybe she has her cell phone turned off.
Rebecca gasps.
Muttering gibberish.
Rebecca : Ow !
Casey : Sorry, you were possessed.
Rebecca : Her spirit passed through me. (Whispers) She is here.
Casey : Ashleigh, could you ask the ghost what she wants so we can move on ?
Ashleigh : Virginia, tell us what you want.
Casey : I bet she wants us to get back to bonding.
Wind gusting. Window opens.
All screaming. Glass breaks.
Girls murmuring.
Casey : You guys, it's just the wind.
Ashleigh : Um... I'm not so sure.
Girls gasping.
Omega Chi House
Evan : What do you think that was back there ?
Calvin : No idea. I'm just, uh, hoping it doesn't bleed acid.
Evan : Don't worry, little bro, I'll protect you.
Calvin : What do you think I need protecting ?
Evan : Well... You seemed little scared, that's all.
Calvin : Me ? No. I've faced some pretty vicious animals in my day. See that ? My little sister's bunny, Flopsie, took a chunk out of it. I needed four stitches and a tetanus sh*t.
Evan : That's nothing. Petting zoo, 1998, got att*cked by a rogue goat. Six stitches and they closed the zoo for a week.
Calvin : Paper route, eight grade. Rabid poodle att*ck, 12 stitches ans I passed out.
Evan : Poodle ? Try a polo horse. I fell of one four years ago, got a concussion ans a CAT scan.
Calvin : Ah, head trauma, huh ? Explain a lot.
Evan : What ?
Calvin : Uh... (Stammers)
Thump.
Evan : It's on the move !
ZBZ House
Rebecca : You guys, there's no such as ghosts. Right, Ashleigh ?
Thunderclap.
All gasping.
Ashleigh : You can never be too safe.
Rebecca : Casey, tell them they're being ridiculous.
Casey : Well, you did call Virginia pathetic. Everyone heard you.
Rebecca : But I was kidding. I was kidding ! It was just a joke !
Clatter. All gasping.
Casey : Oops. Loose brick.
Jen K : You guys... Look.
Ashleigh : The ghost is writing us notes !
Rebecca : Virginia is such a pretty name !
Jen K : I don't think these are notes. I think these are votes.
Casey : Then that can only mean one thing.
Jen K : Someone fixed the election. The minutes said that Virginia by one vote. But if these were counted, she would have won.
Casey : You guys... I know what we have to do !
Omega Chi House
Banging. Both screaming.
Evan : All clear ! Sweep the room. You know, we really make a good team.
Calvin : Yeah, like, uh, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
Karate Yell. Laughing.
Evan : To think I thought, you know, we wouldn't get along.
Calvin : Really ?
Evan : You know, you're...You know.
Calvin : Um, what ?
Evan : You're pals with Rusty. Him and I aren't exactly “amigos”.
Calvin : Yeah I know, I was there for paddlegate.
Evan : Oh, yeah. It's cool you can see beyond that, man.
Calvin : Well, you know, I just try to stay out of others people's business, you know ?
Evan : I do. And I respect that. You know how many people want in my business because I'm a Chambers ?
Calvin : Yeah. It's... It's crazy how one little word can define you.
Evan : Totally.
Calvin : Uh... Evan, there's something I think you should know.
Evan : What is it ?
Calvin : Giant snake ! Above you !
Evan : Nice try (laughs).
Both screams.
Evan : Get it off ! Get it off !
Calvin : Get away from him, you bitch !
Evan : Get it off me ! Get it off me !
Calvin is screaming.
Evan : Counter-clockwise ! Counter-clock...
KT House
Rusty : Cappie ? I really need to talk to you.
Clattering.
Rusty : Cappie ?
Water leaking.
Beaver : Dude, give me a second. It's just number one.
Rusty : The bathroom is that way, Beav'.
Beaver : Why do they keep moving it ? (sighs)
Beaver leaves.
Rusty : What the hell ? Whoa ! (gasping)
Destiny : Do you like my art project ?
Rusty : I can see you're influenced by the deconstructionist movement.
Destiny : Ah... Sit down. We're not done. I'm really good at arts and crafts.
Rusty : I can see that.
Destiny : This was what I did every day at camp, alone, while everybody else played kickball and rode horses.
Rusty : Well, creativity is a much more transferable skill.
Destiny : I'd imagine this was me and Cappie, holding hands for eternity.
Rusty : I can see the resemblance.
Destiny : Now, I kind of picture this as us and all our friends. Oh, look. This is you. Oopsy.
Rusty : Listen, Patty.
Destiny : Destiny !
Rusty : Destiny. I know what it's like to want to go back and revise history. I wasn't always this cool frat guy you see before you. But... you can't change the past. And you can't make someone love you.
Destiny : Yes, I can ! Tonight is going to be perfect. You'll see. Because I have waited too long to let anything mess this up. Or anyone.
Cappie : Camp Kitchi-Wa-Wa, it's really fun.
Destiny : It's really fun, Cam Kitchi-Wa-Wa.
Cappie : Our campers are the bravest ones.
Destiny : We don't write letters to our mamas. You remember me ?
Cappie : Of course. From the moment you walked in. How could I forget the way the water glistened off your Wonder Woman bathing suit ?
Destiny : You didn't stand up for me ! You let them call me names !
Cappie : I know, and that was wrong. I was young and stupid.
Destiny : Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone who has caused you so much pain ?
They kiss.
Rusty : Cappie, look out !
They kiss again.
Destiny : That's it ?
Cappie : Excuse me ?
Destiny : I lost eighty pounds for that ?
Cappie : I never had any complaints before. Let me just try a better angle.
Destiny : Yeah, no, that's OK. Listen, it's been fun, but I really need a doughnut.
Cappie : Stay in touche !
Destiny : Uh – huh. Yeah.
ZBZ House
Casey : Sisters of Zeta Beta Zeta, this election is called to order. Our President is the person who shapes the future of our sisterhood. It is a role that requires vision, tenacity and grace, so choose wisely. We have two candidates this evening : Virginia Horton and... What's that chick's name ?
Jen K : Trudy Henderson.
Casey : … Trudy Henderson. Would anyone like to make a supporting statement for either candidate ?
Rebecca : I'd just like to say that Virginia seems like the clears choice. She is by far the skinniest, prettiest, most worthy candidate. She's definitely not pathetic. In any way.
Casey : Thank you, Pledge Logan. Let's get on with the voting. All in Favor of Virginia Horton, raise your hand. Well, it looks like...
Ashleigh : Wait ! Hold on, I'm not done counting !
Casey : Ash, it looks unanimous. Virginia Horton wins. Congratulations, Virginia ! This election is adjourned.
Ashleigh : Now what ?
Casey : Now we can get on with our evening.
Rebecca : Do you think it worked ?
The light is back.
Casey : Apparently so.
Ashleigh : Let's hear it for Casey, everybody !
All : Yeah, Casey.
Casey : Now, who's up for some ice cream ?
Jen K : It looks like you owe Casey your life.
Omega Chi House
Calvin : The exterminator's gonna be here in two hours.
Evan : Two hours ? OK, I think we can make it until then.
Calvin : What do we tell the guys ?
Evan : I say we never speak of this again. Everybody's got their secrets, right ?
Calvin : Right.
Keypad beeping.
KT House
Heath's cell phone ringing. Text message from Calvin “Hang tomorrow ? Miss you”
Man on the radio : In other news, police have apprehended the escaped mental patient. Officials sat that luckily the 60-year-old woman had a bad hip and was unable to travel far.
Cappie : Could I be a bad kisser ? It's like having a dangling booger, someone would tell me, right ?
Rusty : Cap, you can't listen to what she said. She was crazy after all.
Cappie : She wasn't crazy, she was in love. It's a fine line between the two.
Rusty : She drove here from West Virginia to find you.
Cappie : She went after what she wants. You have to admire that.
Rusty : But what did it get her ?
Cappie : Closure. Now she can move on.
Door closes.
Beaver : Guys... Look who I found outside.
Cappie : Hey, Timmy !
All : Timmy !
Beaver : I'm so glad that I found you. Who's my buddy ? Who's my buddy ?
ZBZ House
Ashleigh : What's up with the redecorating ?
Casey : Just putting Virginia back where she belongs. After tonight, she deserves to be up there.
Ashleigh : Yeah, funny thing about tonight. What a coincidence that these votes were hidden in the fireplace.
Jen K : I know, right ?
Ashleigh : And what's more impressive is one of them's in Casey's handwriting. Crazy, huh ?
Casey : Really ? (chuckles) What a coincidence.
Winds gusts.