Previously on "The Magicians"...
God. Shut up.
What's happening to you looks just like what happened to my mom.
The episodes didn't stop when I was born.
They got worse.
When she's alone, everything's normal, but when you show up...
I still mess her up.
The creatures you call Takers... do you know what they are?
They are guard dogs.
Their realm is a security measure, a barrier between your world and the world of the d*ad.
The d*ad will ruin Fillory.
We must stop this, whatever the cost.
Well, the cost is bl*wing up the entire planet, which is... A decent option.
In the center of Fillory is a clockwork heart built by dwarves.
If I wound the clock backward, it would... it would destroy Fillory.
What about the World Seed, from Q's page?
If we could find it, we could use it to build a new world... a new Fillory.
I intended to rescue my people from this chaotic place, so I also built an ark.
How do they feel? Like ghost fingers.
They work, but magically they still feel severed.
The Couple just got the last thing they need.
They have the Seed, the Page, and the Panel.
We got to tell the others.
They need to steal that seed now.
Guys, Alice has an exit.
Get to the roof.
Ho, ho, ho, f*ck.
Oh, hey, Alice.
Ooh, did I sleep till December?
I couldn't resist giving out a few more gifts while I'm here.
Given your quest-heavy lifestyle, there's no guarantee that any of you will live to see Christmas.
Sit. Have a cookie.
What is that?
No idea. It's for Eliot.
Is that a Microplane for Josh?
He already has six.
Do you question how you bend light?
Well, I don't question how I pick gifts.
Here, put your finger right here, please.
Looking for yours?
You already got it.
Huh? Long time back.
I put it in a locked drawer in Quentin's desk.
What, you... you gave me that?
So what did the page turn out to say?
It was... was a spell. It... grew a seed into a world, but why did you put it there?
What if I'd ignored it or... But you didn't.
You needed something, get back in the game.
You weren't gonna pass on a mystery you thought your guy was working on.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
It really sucks.
Well, now you know.
That page and wherever that quest took you, wasn't his story.
It was yours, Alice.
For what it's worth, I think he'd be really proud of you... the way you keep on fighting.
I told you... I told you you were good.
I still don't know if that's true.
Hey. This is how it works.
You do your best.
You f*ck up, get hurt. People die.
Except for the odd Microplane, jack shit gets wrapped up in a bow.
Oh... you know, you're a real ray of sunshine, Santa.
Ho, ho, ho.
Creatures stirring. Mm-hmm.
What the pumpkin spice f*ck? Huh.
Oh, my God.
These are sold out literally everywhere.
Oh, this is wrapped really tight.
Santa got me a bracelet?
It's the exact right grade for the truffle-shaving technique... This is so thoughtful.
José Andrés showed me the last time we hung out.
What is this even for? Oh, oh, oh, oh.
A-f*cking-plus. This is handy and sort of chic.
Oh, it's a surprise! I love surprises.
Is this baby shit?
Yep. It's baby shit.
Fillory needs you. Now!
There is no uncrucial portion of this.
As per several super-chatty bunnies from our super buddy Rafe, the Dark King is planning on opening a portal to the Underworld tonight.
Now, here's the plan.
Part the first...
Rapture Fillory. Margo and I will go to Fillory.
Activate Umber's Ark.
And then we go to the Clockwork Heart.
How will you know they're all raptured?
Wait, um, I know a thingy.
It's in the castle, so if we just go there and grab it...
Great. Moving on. We will turn back the clock, and then we get ready to say good-bye to Fillory.
W-with you still on it?
Obviously not. We need to GTFO.
You need a traveler.
23 can't aim.
His pervo buddy Hyman's not speaking to us, Gavin's still in the hospital.
Oh, Peach, or whatever your name is.
Unfortunately, when I travel, it's kind of through time.
And puts you in the crosshairs of a time psycho, so, no.
Meanwhile, on Earth, Team WorldSeed...
Alice, Fen, Zelda, you will retrieve the Seed from its special container and... bloom it.
Where? It's in my vag*na.
I mean, circumstances are wacky.
Won't that make it tough to... Neitherlands.
More stable there.
Wouldn't Fillory be better, since...
Not at all.
In fact, counterproductive, given imploding.
Okay, Peach, I get you're nervous, but this isn't our first donkey show, which leads me to something actually crucial to the plan.
No presh, but...
New Fillory better have a wellspring.
Or we permanently lose magic.
The spell says we can make the Seed anything, so it should be doable.
Great. Now... questions, anyone?
No? And break.
Was I funny? No.
My water just broke.
Ooh, okay. Go time!
Okay. Just calm down.
Are you okay? Go, let's go.
Ready as we can be. ETA?
Julia should be here in under five.
Help! I need help!
What the hell happened to him?
The etheric realm.
A lot of it.
This is our Fogg? You're sure?
When we sent Psycho Fogg to the realm, it spit ours back out.
He called me. He couldn't really talk.
Are you in there?
Hey. We're here!
Push fluids, cast Adler's Sedation.
Henry, be with you soon.
With me. Showtime.
Hard pass, as the kids say.
Nyet! Indian yes.
Oh, hell, no.
Anyway, I'm not speaking to you.
Just wait. Do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
You're asking me to travel as a world explodes?
Can you promise me no debris will h*t me on my head?
Well, no, but... Things on my head hurt!
Life is pain. Ovary up.
I am not a hero.
I am a man tethered to a machine for poop and humiliation, and I abhor it.
I said good day.
I have an idea. Oh.
Hi. How was your nap?
Refreshing. You need him to travel?
He would never. Yes, he would.
No way. Absolutely.
Hyman? Can't squawk.
I have a man in my head.
He's looking for a body.
And you have one that...
You don't even really want.
Jesus. No way he goes for this.
You're an idiot, Charlton.
He wants to take this?
And I would... what?
Stay in the Astral forever?
Well, you could, or you could...
Oh, my God! On one condition. Okay.
Your head pal has to do weird things with my body.
S... sex things.
Okay. What's his name?
No act too depraved, Charlton.
I'll be watching... whether you like it or not.
What have we done?
I'm prepped to sever the energetic umbilical once baby's here, but, um... well, I've never done it. What?
It's a unicorn baby. It's your kid.
It is what it is.
You want dr*gs, girl? Say it now.
Unicorn baby time. Let's do this.
It's okay. It's okay.
Eliot, Hyman, Charlton, wake up.
Did it work?
Great. Let's test that traveling out.
This is the best episode ever.
Just relax, okay? Breathe.
Why can't I do this?
Just give it a minute. We don't have a minute.
We have a world to destroy/save.
He just got in that body! He can't travel!
I want to help. We'll be okay.
Will we? Yes.
I know a shortcut to the portal tree.
We just got to run.
Yeah, you never mentioned that before...
I wanted one shortcut just for me.
Thanks for trying, Charlton.
Come back safe.
Way easier to get in than out.
Hmm. Like so many things in life.
This will keep the Seed safe... for a short time.
We should begin.
Fogg? Why aren't you in bed?
Henry, are you all right? Fogg?
Henry, what are you doing?
Wait here. I'll get him.
You're my last messenger. Listen carefully.
Tell High King Margo to...
We're g*dd*mn trying! Thanks!
What's this now? A royal census scroll.
Two people just d*ed, and a fairy was born.
Hatched. So we can see when they're being raptured.
I love it when a good lay turns out to have a working brain, don't you?
Yeah. That Josh is a keeper.
Well, there's a button under here.
Hey, I think it's working.
Great, but go faster.
I think it's picking up speed now that all the squirrels are in.
Hey, El, you think we should...
Raptured? He's not Fillorian.
I'm not great at that spell, even with enhancement.
Don't worry. He's d*ad. They're all d*ad. So it's time.
Follow me close.
Figured you'd come to Fillory... what, with your translator spying so diligently.
I thought I'd cut to the chase.
And just bring you here to the Taker Realm to ask for your help.
Well... not ask.
The final door.
It's a girl.
Not that it's about that. I mean, she's healthy.
Okay, let's celebrate on the B-side of surgery.
You are a warrior.
Is she up?
Is she okay? Is Lipson?
Yeah. She's as prepped as she can be.
You doing okay? Okay, good.
All right. Okay.
Number 14 scalpel, Selenite.
Okay, start with the baby.
Shouldn't hurt either of you. Just, you know, don't move.
Dean Fogg? What are you doing?
Wait, Dean. Please.
Where the hell is the Seed?
Julia? Is she okay?
I know you're worried.
But it's all going to be okay... because of you.
There is a danger, once this door opens, more d*ad will come through.
This is insane.
Not if you seal it fast.
You didn't just bring me here to help you.
You knew that I would try to stop you.
And deep down...
I know you want that, too.
If I wanted you to stop me, I wouldn't have cast on that door 20 minutes ago.
Right on time.
Seb. Seb, don't do this. Rupert!
Eliot, seal the door.
My love, my stars, my heart.
We did it.
You can't k*ll me. I can't die.
You mean it? We can...
We can... forever.
Hello, big brother.
Save me, Rupert. I love you so.
You're still so predictable.
Your soft heart, your stubbornness, your stupidity.
What did you do to him?
Never even met him.
He must have moved on centuries ago.
Spent some time in the Library with my batty old writer friend, Cassandra, reading about the lengths you were going to to save him.
You didn't work nearly so hard to save me... from Plover.
Of course I did... until I couldn't.
I had to save everyone from you.
You chose the dark path. Says the Dark King.
Anyways, reading about you made me realize, after everything you did to stop me, you were going to give me everything I needed to have Fillory... forever.
All I needed to do was make a few judicious political promises.
Leave it open. More will follow.
And of, course, I had to make peace with the fact that we would need to k*ll everyone.
But what good are the living, really?
The world's better off with me.
You're the sad little addict that tagged along with Julia and Quentin.
How in the blazes are you still alive after all this time?
So much to do!
Onward to the land of the living, friends.
All the lands of the living.
Kady should be back by now.
This doesn't feel right.
We should leave. We can't.
I'm certain we won't be able to cast precisely enough if we...
What was that?
Kady? Is that you?
♪ A-hunting we will go ♪
♪ A-hunting we will go ♪
♪ Heigh-ho the derry-o ♪
♪ A-hunting we will go ♪ I know that voice.
It's The Beast.
No, I k*lled him myself!
Then the d*ad have risen.
We've come to bring death everywhere.
This room is warded, but not for long.
That way... a portal will take you to Brakebills.
Go. Alice... when you recover the Seed...
I-I only have one good hand. We need you. I can't...
There's something Master Magicians know.
You can never fully control external circumstances.
They may even be actively hostile.
But you can control the ones inside you.
And one hand... is plenty.
I've always known you'll get there.
Go now. Hurry.
Come with us. I can't.
I'm going to have to initiate Permafrost.
It'll stop the d*ad using the fountains to get to other worlds.
Once I initiate, every portal will close within minutes.
We can't just leave you here.
For a librarian, death isn't the end.
It is merely a transfer to another branch.
Thank you... for everything.
Hello, noble Librarian.
Did you just...
We have to run... before the sodding fountain to Fillory's locked.
I'll find another way.
Not that you'll be here to see it.
Eliot, stop! Eliot, wait!
You took your sh*t. You destroyed the entire world.
Will you just leave it...
Please... please, let me just at least heal your hand.
I survived w*r, losing Lance, my family torn apart by a monster who said he would take care of my brother, and I thought one thing...
I just want to use magic for one thing I want...
You knew better. I had to try!
You couldn't understand that.
But I do understand. I always did.
Eliot, what was the plan?
Before I, uh...
My friends are here.
They're rapturing everyone so we can destroy this planet that we love, by the way.
But we have to to destroy you.
You left us no choice, Seb.
That could still work.
I could cut off the door to the Underworld, stop Martin bringing anymore d*ad through.
Don't try to cast. You'll hurt yourself.
Great, not like the zombies are coming.
Go. Find your friends.
I can hold off the d*ad. It's not like they can k*ll me.
No, they can rip you to shreds, and then we'd k*ll you anyway.
Do you not get that I don't want you to die?
You're not evil. You're just...
You're just some deluded assh*le...
That I care about.
Who says I'll die?
Your daughter is healthy. Good.
Has not regained consciousness.
When do you expect?
Her organs are shutting down.
We are trying everything, but...
Can I see her? Yeah.
Hold tight. Okay.
Hey. I got you some food.
You should really eat...
I know I told you you shouldn't do it.
But... but I will protect you, okay, somehow.
I know a way to get to Jane Chatwin.
She'll help us, and you can go back to before...
Professor... You can go back and stop Julie from dying, please.
Why the f*ck not?
Because we already did.
What... what... what do you mean "we already did"?
This is the do-over.
It got so much worse, so fast before...
So you took me to my grandmother, Jane.
Time loop... only way to undo time without getting that grouchy time traveler's knickers in a knot.
Big magic, though.
Unfortunately, she told me that I only had enough plasma to do it once.
Okay, but what... what did you change?
Only Josh had escaped Fillory.
In the West, they had no way of knowing if the Ark even worked, so they got trapped waiting.
I pushed Josh to find a way.
And the Seed, they tried it here and failed.
And Zelda took them to the Neitherlands.
They never came back.
Why didn't you tell them not to do that either?
They wouldn't listen!
And Jane said not to do too much, or that might do more damage.
It's a tricky business.
But she was adamant that I try.
Professor, we have to tell her.
She is trapped here and... insane to think about it... pregnant with my mother.
Tell me what, my dears?
We are going to destroy Fillory.
With you on it.
It is the only way to stop your brother.
Best we can do is to try to stop our legacy from hurting anybody else.
You're doing the right thing, both of you.
But I won't be gone.
I'll still be here in the Clock Barrens.
Without Fillory, it'll be a little bit harder to find me.
Look, I had no idea that Fogg would suddenly att*ck her.
Fogg didn't att*ck last time?
No, I-I have no idea why he would.
Fogg remembers time loops.
What if he remembered something and... and is... is trying to change this one?
The etheric realm shook loose most of his screws.
He's useless, as you can see.
But there's still Fogg under there.
You know, it's like hardwood under shag.
Well, how do we get rid of the shag?
I'm not doing this, okay?
This is banned in 14 countries.
The cat will hold all his crazy, but only while he's touching it.
What happens to the cat?
It goes, well... crazy.
Don't tell PETA.
All right. We ready?
Hey. Thank you, Professor The cat looks normal.
Trust me. This cat's having a shit day.
But I managed to get everyone out of the Neitherlands in time.
Plum may not know, but, yes, they are going to be att*cked.
Well, it seems you did manage in your way.
Good. Tell Kady the Seed is in the lab.
Why did you att*ck Julia?
Because she and your child would die if Eleanor had performed the g*dd*mn surgery.
Yeah, well, she's dying now, so...
If you had succeeded in delicately separating the cord, it would be rendered useless.
Quick, rough cut... counterintuitive, yes, I know.
The cord goes into a state of shock.
Allowing it a chance for implantation.
This will let Julia recover.
Last time you realized far too late.
The only catch is you need to attach it to someone else, someone who can handle the physic input from, well... a clearly very powerful traveler baby.
It looks still alive... for now.
The Circumstances control panel is gone, and the Moon is not gonna make this easy.
So choice is, do it here where the casting's jacked or let it die?
If we do it here, who knows what it'll make?
I think the people of Fillory deserve a place to go, even if it doesn't end up as Fillory.
Okay. I'll get started.
What about Eliot, Margo, and Josh?
We still haven't heard from them.
Do you think they've been able to...
Let's just hope they're having more luck than we are.
The slide to the Clock Dwarf is at the end of the hall.
It takes ten minutes just to slide down and even longer to get back up.
Sorry, I was really stoned the last time I did this.
Time to discuss your shortcut, Margo.
Yeah. There isn't one.
What do you want me to say?
Somebody had to egg up and do this, and I am Margo the Destroyer.
I didn't name you that just so you...
Get destroyed while destroying?
I'm not wild about it either.
But... this thing's got to get done, so...
We'll all go. Yes, we'll all go.
You know, if I learned one thing from Quentin... one... it's that sometimes you sacrifice for those you love.
I'm doing this so you two can live, so don't you dare follow me.
In case the Clock Dwarf wasn't raptured, a bribe.
A ham sandwich?
A ham sandwich. That is culatello, capicola, speck, a bit of Jamón Ibérico, shaved black truffle from the Microplane.
That is the best g*dd*mn ham sandwich ever made.
This way I'll know you guys are safe.
I'll wait until you get through the tree to do it.
Hey. You're... you're, um...
You're up. How are you... how are you feeling?
Oh, decent, considering.
Oh, Lipson took her to get changed.
How come I can't hear her?
Here she is, baby Eleanor.
I don't remember naming her Eleanor.
Yeah, it's 'cause we didn't.
People name their kid after their doctor all the time.
It's a thing that happens. Sure.
All right, Eleanor.
Oh, I think she, uh... she may have just pooped.
Oh, hey, uh, I got this.
I've been practicing.
I like that.
I never said that. I thought it and...
Yes, I can... live with Quentin as her middle name.
Good. Again, what the hell?
Uh, we had to attach the cord to Penny, and when we did, you got better.
Wait, so you got your... You're psychic again?
Only when I'm holding her.
What else can you do while holding her?
Of course not.
"Do not turn backward, or Fillory will be destroyed.
Guess he got raptured.
Show me you were able to make it out of here.
In case you can read lips, I just want to say, you're the love of my life.
I know. Duh.
Anyway, um, we're here.
Okay, we are officially at zero, which means...
Oh, she looks very pregnant.
Actually, the male seahorse carries the young and gives birth.
Margo would have dug that. Yeah.
Are we really doing this?
I don't think I can do this.
We'll do this together.
Here we go, Bambi.
She's not coming back.
You don't know that.
What is this?
They ended Fillory.
Well, that hardly seems sporting!
Come with me if you want to live!
Yeah, sorry! Josh wanted me to say it!
It seemed real important to him! Come on!
I've never cast magic before.
You're not casting now, Fen.
Just... I'm just happy to be included.
I feel all tingly.
Is that what casting magic feels like?
Too late to swap her out for Kady? Don't be mean.
Look, I haven't spent time in Fillory.
Unless you want your new world looking like the Lower East Side?
I could try.
Lipson said it's too soon.
Permanent damage. I just want to help.
The Moon is cranky.
Zelda's gone, and Alice is down a hand, so...
Um, I know something that might help.
You cracked the code on Moon circumstances?
Nope. Then what the hell is your plan?
My plan is I'm going to accept exactly everything I am right now.
Instagram that nonsense later, girl. I mean...
Every single good and shitty part and especially the shit.
I suggest we all do it.
We have to acknowledge it in order to adjust for it in your casting.
Internal circumstances... it's the one thing we can control.
One hand is plenty.
Are you ready?
Hold Fillory in your minds, okay?
Too late to pee?
You know what? It's... it's fine.
It's fine. Sorry.
It's ready, Fen.
Do I just... Talk to it.
Um, okay. Okay.
Uh, I remember the... the Silver Banks and Chatwin's Torrent and, uh... the Chankly Bore?
Huh, that was weird.
Uh, there's Broken Bay and...
Nothing's happening. What the f*ck, Fen?
You can't just describe it.
You need to give it your memories.
I remember... the first time...
I saw a Pegasus.
I was ten.
Only in Fillory.
I remember the first time...
I saw my dad use magic to make a Kn*fe.
And then he wouldn't show me 'cause I'm a girl.
I remember my dad gave me away to a stranger.
And that's where I realized Fillory kind of sucks sometimes.
What are you doing? I'm talking about my Fillory.
That place could be, uh, backwards as shit.
And I'm thinking I don't want to replicate that.
We kind of need a wellspring, so...
Can't I just... have the best of Fillory?
The best of us, of Earth.
Plus the best of those cool movies Todd and I watched.
That's the home I want.
That's what we deserve.
It's happening. It's happening!
Keep going! Keep going!
Where'd they go? I don't know.
Well, how's it feel?
Like I'm holding a g*dd*mn crazy cat and the fur is ruining my custom suits.
No wonder all those Bond villains were always so pissy.
Bright side... you can actually complain while you're holding it.
Ah, what a joy.
And magic hasn't vanished.
The Moon's more wonked than ever, of course.
Why should anything be easy?
Maybe we should take a cue from the Hedge Witches.
Safehouses are starting to keep a moon-brained lunatic on retainer.
So can we count on circumstances holding through tonight or... ?
Yeah, I'd move fast, though.
That we can do. Right, boss?
Speaking of adjustments, how's the newest member of our faculty holding up?
His hands are healed.
He just has to get used to the fact that half of his friends are gone.
Charlton, in Hymanesque form.
Here you are in your happy place, but... you don't seem happy.
I thought being here and teaching would help, but... it hasn't.
I miss them.
I feel lost and alone without them...
Margo, all of them.
I even miss Fillory.
Do you think, um...
There's no way Seb survived, huh?
But maybe it's better now.
Maybe now he's somewhere with someone who loves him.
You're not alone, you know?
I am still not used to how strong alcohol is.
Keep drinking. It'll come.
So I have a surprise for you.
I have had a lot of terrible surprises of late, Charlton.
I've been getting help from Pete... the Hedge Witch who deals in magical objects?
Good Lord. Why?
He helped me figure this out.
Santa left it for you.
You look like you.
I also feel like me.
If you touch me but also inside...
Well, this is weird. Good weird?
So... I have an awkward question.
I often ask myself what you'd say, and the answer's, "Of course not.
Don't be stupid, Charlton. Eliot's isn't the kind of... "
I wonder whether you could ever be romantically inclined with some someone like me?
A thousand-year-old Fillorian in a pervert ghost's body wearing a transfiguration amulet?
A man who knows you well, is emotionally available, and plans to stick around.
Well, shit, Charlton.
Are we going somewhere?
Upstairs to explore this further.
And what of the efforts to find our missing students?
Eliot send those? Hey.
Where should we start?
I guess at the top.
I'm sorry there's always another quest.
I know you wanted to just, uh...
Make a home.
And this is a batshit way to do it, but it is a way.
Plus, someone's got to find those idiots.
Shit's never what we think it's gonna be.
Very occasionally it's better.
Here, just hold my hand.
Where do you think they are?
Maybe they got sucked into the World Seed because it needed matter to turn into a new world.
Maybe it didn't work, and they got vaporized.
And yet... we still have magic.
Somewhere a wellspring exists.
Look what I found.
Turns out this place has Kn*fe trees.
I mean, if Josh could find naturally occurring pizza ovens, then why not?
Found a Margherita here, if anyone is hungry.
This definitely isn't Fillory.
Yeah, but it's not not Fillory.
Kind of smells the same, right?
The opium made it. That's a plus.
I passed a field of bacon... crispy.
Is that a Fillory thing? Mm. More of a me thing.
Well, the air is breathable, food galore, no predators in the vicinity.
Is it time?
If we let them out, we have to tell them we're utterly lost.
No idea where we are and not a bunny in sight to get a message to our friends.
And they'll be homesick and scared and cranky and hungry.
We'll have to build infrastructure from scratch.
Who wants to do the honors?
You carried the whole world in your cooch.
You earned it.
Thanks for saying that.
But New Fillory needs a leader.
And... as its literal birth mother...
I feel I get to say...
I hereby dub thee High King Margo, the Creator.
Fine. Make a meal out of it.
You guys know our lives are about to get even weirder in some insane way we can't possibly predict?
I mean, yes. Yes.
I mean, yes. Yes.
I find that somehow... perversely comforting.
So do I.
That's how I know it's our story.
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05x13 - Fillory and Further
Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Magicians". Aired: December 2015 to April 2020.
"The Magicians" follows a young man who enrolls to be trained as a magician, where he discovers that the magical world from his favorite childhood books is real and poses a danger to humanity. Based on the novel of the same name.
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1 post • Page 1 of 1