03x29 - The Nom Nom Show

[bunniefuu]

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go!

♪ ♪ We'll be there ♪

♪ A wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪

♪ Yeah, we'll be there ♪

♪ Wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪

♪ We'll be there when you turn that corner ♪

♪ We'll jump out the bush ♪

♪ With a big bear hug and a smile ♪

♪ We'll be there ♪

[Music]

Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California...

it's "The Nom Nom Show!" Tonight's guests ...

Viral superstars Daredevil Dog...

[Barks]

...Shakespeare Baby.

[Babbling]

And a performance by the Internet sensation, Amazing Ape!

With music by Hedgehog and the Nom Nom Jam Band!

And here's your host, Nom Nom!

[Audience cheering]

Hey!

Mwah!

Mwah!

Uh-huh!

[Audience cheering]

[Plays solo on piano]

Hey!

[Laughs]

Man: I love you Nom Nom!

I love you too, grown adult!

[Laughs]

Thank you, thank you.

I'm Nom Nom, and welcome to my first-ever TV special, where the only stars brighter than here...

are in space!

[Rim sh*t]

[Man coughs]

Man: Do something cute!

[Laughs]

Well, tonight, we've got a great show!

[Chuckles]

So don't change that channel, we'll be right back!

[Music]

[Muffled scream]

Agent: It was all so great, Mr.

Nom Nom.

A+!

It's gonna be amazing!

Keep this up, and we're definitely getting a primetime show.

You'll be the king of the Internet and TV!

Really great job, sir.

I'm pretty sure the executive loved it, too!

I see a smile!

Sir, I know if this special fails, people will laugh at you, and your career will go down the drain.

But regardless, I am still so proud of you.

[Growls]

Okay, okay, okay!

Just give me some space!

Shoo, shoo!

Give me a moment!

[Groans]

Where's my water?

Interns, where's my water?!

Grizzly: Uh, coming, Nom Nom!

[Crash]

[Rattling]

Your eucalyptus water, Mr.

Nom Nom, sir.

Thanks again for this opportunity, man.

Yeah, Grizz says you're likeable now.

Ice Bear is hoping for redemptive arc.

[Gulps]

Ugh, what am I even paying you for?

The internship's unpaid.

We only get college credit.

Right.

I get free non-union labor.

You get industry experience.

I lost out on this deal.

Hey, Nom Nom, can I get you a refreshing strawberry water?

It'll make you feel better.

Grizz!

He only drinks eucalyptus water.

Ice Bear doesn't like water.

Too wet.

Aah!

Enough!

I need the show to go well.

Stop annoying me and bring me some food.

Okey-dokey.

Okey-dokey.

And be fast!

Go!

Be gone!

[Clatter]

[Grumbles]

Um, sir, we have a problem.

What do you mean, "problem"?

Daredevil Dog can't make it.

He, uh, called in injured.

Injured?

How bad is it?

[Music]

[Dog barks]

[Thuds]

[Muffled bark]

What?!

We can fix this.

What do you mean?!

We just need a replacement!

How are we gonna just grab some nobody to replace him in less than two minutes?

Ugh!

Grizzly: Hey, Nom Nom!

We found you some food!

Not sure what it was doing in the backroom?

Ronald: Hey!

Where'd the cake for the after party go?

Let us know if there's anything else you want us to do!

Yep, we're free to do whatever you need!

Hey, I got an idea.

[Audience cheering]

[Music]

Welcome back!

So, some bad news, folks.

Daredevil Dog was unable to make it in tonight.

[Audience murmurs]

Woman: Oh, what?

[Laughs]

Well, it's gonna be okay, 'cause we've got the next best thing!

Introducing Daredevil Bear!

Daredevil Bear is going to go down the ramp, over the spikes, threw a flaming hoop, a second hoop, more flaming hoops, a spider, over the ramp, through the daggers, over the piranha t*nk, and land safely over on the other side.

All: Ooh!

He signed a waiver, right?

All righty!

Are you ready?!

Um, Nom Nom, this doesn't look like a good idea.

What are you talking about?

It's just that it looks a little dangerous.

[Laughs]

Looks like he needs some motivation!

Let's count down!

3, 2, 1!

[Grizz screaming]

[Screams]

[Both screaming]

[Music]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, just stop tugging at it.

Wow, oh, it's really got you, man.

[Grunts]

Ow, that hurt, you oaf!

So sorry, Nom Nom, but everything's fine now!

[Chuckles nervously]

Good as new!

Agent: Ah, Nom Nom!

It's urgent!

Oh, good, my agent's here to fix everything.

Well, actually, sir, Shakespeare Baby can't make it either.

He got into a fight with his twin, Opera Baby.

[Opera music playing]

[Both crying]

He lost his voice in a subsequent yelling match.

It was super cute and went viral, but not good for us.

What?!

[Groans]

Why is this happening?!

Well, you're on in five!

Okay, okay, we'll just have to work with it.

You!

You're up!

[Whimpers]

You got this, bro!

You're the best drama queen I know.

What?

What is it?

[Soft music plays]

But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun!

[Music]

[Clears throat]

Arise, Fair sun!

Uh, whoa.

Oh, geez.

Where ...

Wherefore art thou, uh, art thou?

[Sneezes]

Oh my.

Your lines, Juliet!

Stick to your lines!

I'm sorry, but these flowers!

I think I'm allerg...

[Sneezing]

[Laughter]

Come on!

Pull me up, pull me up!

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid, since she is envious.

Since she is envious.

Well, I can't.

I'm really allergic to the ...

Come on, just take the flowers already.

[Sneezes]

[Screams]

[Laughter]

[Screaming]

[Laughter continues]

[Sneezing]

[Grunts]

You're ruining the act!

Get it together, you ...

[Both scream]

[Crash]

[Laughter]

Oh, gosh, Nom Nom, I'm so, so ...

[Sneezes]

Great job, guys.

Sounds like you got the crowd going [Growls]

Nom Nom, I'm so sorry for that.

That's it!

You embarrassed me in front of the whole crowd!

You're fired!

Oh wait.

You're all fired!

Agent: [Panting]

Sir!

Bad news, sir!

I just got off the phone and...

Don't tell me.

The ape isn't gonna make it.

No.

He isn't real!

Turns out he's just a fake Internet meme.

We've been bamboozled, sir.

Say no more.

Grizzly: So, uh, should we go?

[Screaming]

Now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our last and final act.

Featuring my assistant, the amazing, last minute guest star ...

Magic Bear!

[Dramatic music plays]

All: Ooh!

I will be performing the ultimate escape from this box, while being completely submerged.

Observe!

With a heavily fortified 200-pound door, along with two inches of the strongest glass.

All conditions impossible for escape.

Especially with...

handcuffs!

[Dramatic music plays]

[Clears throat]

Magic Bear.

Handcuffs!

All right, and there you have it folks.

Behold!

I'm now clearly restrained.

I will have just seconds to escape.

Don't forget to leave the master key with me.

[Dramatic music plays]

[Water splashes]

[Lock clicks]

♪ This is the moment ♪ [Music]

♪ This is the moment ♪

[Gargling, muffled screaming]

[Dramatic music]

[Gasps]

Nom Nom's in trouble!

We're coming, Nom Nom!

We're coming!

[Laughter]

[Whoopie cushion sounds]

[Wings flap]

[Keys jangling]

No worries, Nom Nom.

We'll get you...

out of there!

[Keys jangling]

[Japanes flute plays]

[Glass breaking]

[Muffled screaming]

[Water splashes]

Oh, my gosh, Nom Nom.

Are you okay?

Speak!

[Gasping, coughing]

[Laughter]

[Air horn blows]

[Laughter continues]

[Cellphone beeps]

Put me through to the network, please.

Wait, wait, wait!

Wait, I can fix this!

[Shudders]

[Laughter]

[Groaning]

[Screams]

[Grunts]

[Music]

[Nom Nom screaming]

Ahh, he's coming this way!

Nom Nom: Aah!

It's over and done!

[Screams]

This was gonna be my own show!

My only sh*t!

My chance to top The Corgis, Andy Bangs, everybody!

My career is over!

Wait, stop Nom Nom!

Leave me alone!

But Nom Nom!

Just listen!

The audience is calling for you.

Huh?

[Chanting]

Nom Nom!

Nom Nom!

What?

[Chanting continues]

[Cheers and applause]

That's right, guys!

It's me!

[Laughs]

Mwah, mwah!

[Laughs]

Whoo!

[Laughs]

You did it, Nom Nom!

Whoo-hoo!

[Laughs]

Whoo!

Man: I love you, Nom Nom!

Love you too, so and so!

[Cheers and applause continue]

Oh, man, that felt amazing!

I can't believe it!

Ah!

Nom Nom, you see.

You're such a success!

Oh, no, no, no, let's keep this professional.

Oh, right, of course, Mr.

Nom Nom, sir.

Congratulations, Nom Nom!

Ha!

See?

Everything turned out okay!

The crowd just loves you, man!

You're huge!

Executive: [Clears throat]

Nom Nom, darling.

I spoke to my network's board, and after this response...

we'd like to extend you for a full season!

What?

Really?

The performances were all such a hit with the crowd, and we want to bring on the bears as regular co-hosts!

[All gasp]

We get to be in the show too?!

Wait, no, no, no, no.

Why are they in on the deal?

They're just a bunch of interns!

Ice Bear will steal the show.

As usual.

The audience loved the chemistry you guys had.

To us, there's no "Nom Nom Show" without the Bears.

So, what do you say, Nom Nom?

Do it, sir!

Take the deal!

[Groans]

[Grunts]

No, no, you know what?

No.

No bears.

This is supposed to be my show.

Mine ...

"The Nom Nom Show." It's just me, or I'm out!

And good luck finding another cute Internet star that can carry this show!

I'm all you got!

Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California, it's "The Hedgehog Show"!

[Music]

[Piano riff plays]

[Wink]