04x01 - Extinction

[bunniefuu]

[all clamoring, laughing]

Mark Collins?

Are you insane?

He was a member of the team, it didn't work out.

Kicking me off Scorpion-- it was a deep betrayal.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

[laughs]

Well, it's about damn time.

We've waited a long time for this.

Buckle up, nerd.

[typing]

Walter?

Last night was worth waiting three years for, huh?

How do you feel this morning?

How do I feel?

I feel like...

♪ I feel like sun is shining ♪ ♪ And the birds are singing ♪ ♪ And the high pitch from its coo tells me ♪ ♪ It's English short-faced pigeon ♪ ♪ I feel mighty groovy, I feel mighty fine ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're sweeter than a pie ♪ ♪ Like 3.

14159 ♪ ♪ I feel just like saying that ♪ ♪ The best equation ♪ ♪ Is Paige Dineen plus Walter equals romantic occasion ♪ [needle scratches]

Good morning, Walter, I brought bagels.

No time for bagels.

I'm doing a musical number.

A musical?

Fantastico!

♪ ♪ Whoa, I can't believe it!

All the way from Portugal, it's Feliz!

[singing in Portuguese]

♪ When I say I love you ♪ ♪ I know that you mean it ♪ ♪ And that is why today I feel like everything is genius ♪ ♪ I love being clean ♪ ♪ 'Cause germs make me squeamish ♪ ♪ I'm talented at wrenching ♪ ♪ I'm a really good machinist ♪ ♪ I so love that you wore that ♪ ♪ You know it is my weakness ♪ ♪ Can't believe we did a musical ♪ ♪ It really has been seamless ♪ ♪ We're gonna be so happy with no awkwardness between us ♪ ♪ And that's why everything ♪ ♪ Is absolutely genius!

♪ ♪ Is absolutely genius!

♪ Walter.

Walter.

I asked you how do you feel this morning?

Sorry.

I feel like...

[phone rings]

Sorry.

Hello.

Male voice: You are receiving a call from a federal correctional facility.

Please hold for...

Collins: Mark Collins.

Sylvester: Man, is it good to be back at the Chest.

Ah.

Pale Hawk.

[caws]

And who's this?

Um, Sylvester the Conquester, meet Sir Thomas Foolery.

Your reputation precedes you.

Tommy Fargas?

You're my pharmacist.

And is that my Stone of Valor?

Kinda.

You guys replaced me and took all my accoutrements?

Uh, everyone thought you were dead.

Look-- we made a shrine.

Oh.

Thanks, fellas.

Is that my obituary?

"Sylvester Dudd, 24..." Dudd.

Classic.

Typo.

"...d*ed in a plane crash this week.

An enthusiastic fantasy player, skilled mathematician, and more.

He will be missed." My life boils down to "enthusiastic" and "skilled"?

"And more." [phone ringing]

Hello, Walter?

Yes, I will drop Ralph off at school and be right there.

What is it?

Trouble.

Toby: Santa Barbara, here we come.

Oh, oh-- is that the bag with the accoutrements?

Oh, you mean weird outfits to stimulate your pervert mind?

Yeah.

All packed.

Sweet.

Look, I know it's not the Tahitian honeymoon that we hoped for, and our credit cards are gonna be bursting at the seams, but, look, after almost dying in the South Pacific, small hotel near the beach-- that's good enough for me.

[phone rings]

Uh, it's Walter.

Don't get it.

It could be work.

That's why I said don't get it.

Hey, what's up?

Are you kidding?

All right, we'll be there soon.

Our honeymoon's a done-e-moon.

Ga-doy.

Why do you think I'm removing the accoutrements from the car?

It's worse than missing our trip.

Walt got a call from Collins.

Collins?

Why the hell is Collins calling Walter?

Walter: He had...

an Archimedes moment.

A what?

Archimedes is credited as the first to shout "eureka" when he discovered a method for determining gold purity, [lock buzzes]

so when one of us has a breakthrough, a real paradigm shift, it's an Archimedes moment.

Guy's nuts.

I don't care if he has an Archimedes moment or a Kodak moment.

He would never sully intellectual purity by declaring a false Archimedes.

So he's been studying climatological reports, title charts, EPA findings, seismograph readings, all from his cell, and he says he's found something very dangerous.

[clears throat]

Walter.

Thank you for getting here so quickly.

There is so much to digest and so little time.

Just so you know-- I have my firearm.

Just in case there's any nonsense.

What kind of nonsense would I possibly try to pull?

The last time that we were together, you tried to k*ll Toby.

Oh, yes.

That.

That was very uncouth behavior on my part.

But, in fairness, I've been through extensive therapy here, and it's done wonders.

Between that...

and my research, it's really allowed my sanity to flourish.

Speaking of which, take a look at this.

Crazy-man wallpaper?

Walter, about 20 days ago, there was a small 3.4 earthquake in the Arctic Ocean right near the Barents Sea.

Now, since then, temperatures have been rising a tenth of a degree a day above the norm.

I've also seen slightly elevated tides, slower wind speeds, and a shift in bird migration patterns.

Walter: Mark, over here.

This is very bad.

Archimedes, right?

Soon it'll be a quarter of a degree a day.

And then a half a degree...

And then, in a few weeks, crops die off, species die off, satellites stop working because of atmospheric interference...

Collins: The grid overheats, there's no potable water, there's widespread wildfires.

I'm taking photos and sending them to the team.

Someone want to fill me in?

Both: It's an extinction event.

Collins: Simply put, the earthquake created these small fissures in the ice.

Methane that had been trapped in that very ice for millions of years has begun to escape into the atmosphere, and...

What is this?

You and the waitress.

I knew that would come to pass.

Get back to your point.

Now, assume you've done the math.

What is the timeline?

Uh, well, in...

...30 days, half of life on Earth is gone.

In 90, all of it.

Except for the insects.

Fellas, this is all hard to swallow.

Are we talking theory or guarantee?

It's a guarantee.

Unless we plug the methane cracks in the next seven days.

What's this "we," pilgrim?

Scorpion can handle it.

You're a former team member.

Emphasis on "former." But Scorpion can't fix what it can't locate.

Now, I've already done the calculations to take you to the exact spot in the Arctic that you need to go to.

You could do those calculations yourself, but, as Walter'll tell you, that'll take about ten days of intensive algorithms, and...

well, you don't have ten days.

Listen close.

You are not leaving this prison.

Walter: Cabe.

He's right.

About what's gonna happen and how we need him.

Looks like new Collins is going on a little field trip.

I know it sounds insane, but you haven't been the Homeland director long enough to know that insane is what Scorpion does.

That's right.

I haven't been director long enough.

Not long enough to totally unpack.

Not long enough to prove myself.

Certainly not long enough to survive the heat I would get from letting an attempted m*rder*r out of prison.

Nothing will happen.

I'll ankle Collins to me.

Digital chain g*ng.

He gets more than 25 feet from my side, he gets 50,000 volts.

If he's right and we do nothing, the world ends as we know it.

If Collins plays us, then a con tricked us to a few days on the outside.

Big deal.

Fine.

But if things go sideways, it will be a big deal.

And it'll be your ass on the line, not mine.

I'm not happy about this.

The world ending or Collins getting out?

Both equally bad.

What if Collins goes after Toby again?

See how she cares about me?

We haven't moved in fully yet, and I'm not doing the rest myself.

Huh?

There was no time for debate.

Collins knows where the fissures are located.

He holds the cards.

Toby: He's right-- Collins has us by the gooty.

What's a gooty?

I'm sorry, it's my new linguistic experiment.

Remember, I try to bring back old-timey slang?

Some would say that endeavor was pure flummery.

Yeah, some would say.

But, sadly, not enough.

So now I'm just trying to create a single word.

My lexicographical goal is to get a word added to the dictionary simply by releasing it into common parlance and seeing if it catches on.

Gooty?

Yeah.

Genitals.

Gonads.

If I were to use it in a sentence, it would be, uh, "Last night, Walter and Paige saw each other's..." We get it.

Understood.

My point is everyone's got 'em.

We all got to deal with it.

You'll see, Walt.

Gooty's gonna stick.

That came out wrong.

[lock buzzes]

Hello, friends!

No friends of yours here.

Happy, I've emotionally prepared for your response.

I've had much psychological treatment since my incarceration, something I think you'd appreciate.

I would've appreciated you not locking me in a warehouse with acid dangling over my face.

Yes, well...

we have had our adventures.

Paige.

I was so delighted to learn of yours and Walter's coupling.

Gross.

No, I-I think it's delightful.

I mean, a-a genius finding a life mate is...

so very rare.

And for that life mate to be normal is even more rare.

And, as everybody knows, Walter's integrity is far too high to only be interested in the carnal, so it's...

[grunts]

[electrical buzzing]

Is he having a seizure?

He got juiced.

He's got a stun-cuff on his ankle.

It pops any time he gets too far away from the one that's locked onto my own leg.

Or if he gets too lippy.

And that, my friend, was for disrespecting Paige.

Aah...

Point taken.

Paige, I apologize.

I'm still evolving.

Bet you felt that in the gooty.

Okay, let's get going back to the garage.

Every minute counts.

[grunts]

I, uh...

Toby, would you mind scooching a bit?

Lockup has given me some shared space issues.

Perhaps I should tie you to a chair inside a dental floss maze.

Would that be more amenable?

Not like I didn't apologize.

No, no, you said we had an adventure.

My intent was obvious.

Your intent was to k*ll me.

Okay, I want Collins in the back.

I'm not comfortable with him next to Toby.

Thank you, darling.

I don't want him sitting by me either.

Guys...

Guys, how do you think this makes me feel?

Like an unpopular psychopath.

That's unfair.

If the straitjacket fits!

Enough!

We are dealing with an extinction event.

Are billions of lives not stakes enough for you to act semi-normal for a change?

Good.

Let's buckle up.

[engine starts]

Um...

you feeling okay?

Oh, I feel like everything's absolutely genius.

♪ Scorpion 4x01 ♪ Extinction Collins: My calculations show that the methane leak is actually coming up through these two ice walls in an approximately 15-foot crevasse.

"Crevasse"?

We're in America, say "crevice".

You sound pretentious.

Okay, wordsmith, you know the difference between "crevasse" and "crevice." Just let him talk.

Thank you.

So, figure our best bet is to neutralize the methane.

I thought a nice little nitrogen hydroxide solution would do the trick.

Well, we'd need a lot of it.

And a steel drum to hold it in.

And an industrial drill to bore through the ice fissure, make the hole big enough for an I.V.

to feed in nitrogen hydroxide.

I can get us a m*llitary cargo plane stocked with whatever you want.

To fly where, exactly?

Yeah, Weirdo Beardo won't spill the beans.

Oh, yes, we will be going just outside a remote village in Northern Norway.

Once there, we will need appropriate transportation.

I'll have Homeland reach out to the local village.

I'm sure we can scrounge up snow terrain vehicles equipped with whatever you need to handle frozen terrain.

Then, all I will need...

is this transistor radio.

We'll pinpoint the methane, we'll chemically neuter it, we'll stop the Earth from heating up, and we will save mankind.

Come on, team!

Let's do it!

[electrical buzzing]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[whimpers]

Sorry about that, I, uh...

[laughs]

forgot about the cuff.

Word of advice: don't forget again.

We've been riding around for an hour.

What's the plan?

We'll stop soon, just not yet.

Oh, this is great.

We're in the middle of the tundra and Collins is trying to get the ball game.

Actually, Toby, ham radio waves bounce off the atmosphere.

But their pattern will be disrupted by the methane buildup in the ionosphere.

Literally hear where the methane is.

Toby: The whole reason you got to tag along is because you already knew the location.

I know the general area.

I am narrowing.

Just let him concentrate.

Does PANNS mean nothing to you?

Taking his side violates the "P." What the hell's "PANNS"?

Don't.

What do you care?

You just flaunt all its rules anyway.

PANNS is our marital creed.

This shall be delightful.

"P," put your partner first.

"A," always strive for a positive state of mind.

"N," no disparaging of ideas.

"N," no lying.

And "S," SCABOBI.

"SCABOBI"?

"SCABOBI"?

Toby [over radio]: It stands for "Steady Calm Attitude Brings Optimal Bliss Inherently." Stupidest thing I ever heard.

We have hacked marriage.

With a simple, genius five-point tool.

Walter: Actually, it's 11 points: PANN is four and "SCABOOBI" is a seven-letter acronym.

"SCABOBI." [radio crackles]

Stop!

Stop the vehicle.

[radio crackling]

Okay.

Uh...

about 100 yards northeast and we should have it.

Happy?

Goggles.

Yup, I see the leak.

Mark!

Paige: He's running away.

[electrical buzzing]

[Collins groans]

[buzzing stops]

[Collins grunting]

Nice try, jackass.

Now I can add attempted escape to your jacket.

I'm not escaping, we need to turn the drum upright.

The nitrogen hydroxide is leaking!

No, no, no, no.

No, no.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How did this happen?

Oh, you want to know how?

Those morons packed the cargo plane for us with a steel alloy drum.

The chemical ate through it?

I specifically said pure steel.

Well, that's what I told them.

Sylvester: Okay, I'm gonna make some quick approximations to see if what we have left is enough to neutralize the methane.

Little bit of help?

Yeah, yeah.

[groans]

Talk a sec?

Of course.

Paige: So, uh...

Collins sure is making things here a little more lively than usual, huh?

Yes.

I assumed his being here would stir things up a bit.

Right.

Well, that's why I'm curious, uh, why you didn't check with me first.

Check with you?

Well, I am the...

genius whisperer on the squad.

I'm supposed to manage what may or may not knock the g*ng off-kilter.

So, maybe we could've discussed it?

Are-are you asking me as...

my girlfriend or a member of the team?

As a team member, of course.

Yeah, our new relationship status has no effect on-on work.

Uh, okay.

Uh, as the founder of Scorpion, who does and doesn't get to work on our cases is 100% my call.

I don't really need to...

check with anyone.

Okay, then.

Yeah.

Appreciate the candor.

Sylvester: Okay, so, based on a rough estimate, we don't have nearly enough nitrogen hydroxide to even make a dent in a methane pocket the size that Collins says we're dealing with.

Cabe: So what do we do now?

It's not like we can drive an hour back to that Norwegian town and expect them to have a vat of the chemicals that we need.

They don't even have a traffic light.

So where do we get more nitrogen hydroxide?

We've got tundras to the east and west of us, a useless town to the south, and Barents Sea to the north.

We're screwed.

[stammers excitedly]

Not necessarily.

The sea!

That could be our salvation.

The mud at the bottom of the sea in that region has methanoperedens.

It's a bacteria.

It eats methane!

And it gives off H2O and O2, just like the hydroxide would've.

And if we mix that with the nitrogen hydroxide we have left...

The nitrogen will feed the bacteria!

Like crops in a garden that feed off nitrogen in fertilizer.

Toby: And the bacteria will multiply expediently.

And within a day, the methane will be almost depleted.

Walter: Okay, guys, here's the plan: Collins, Toby, Cabe and I will take that van, go collect the bacteria.

Happy, Sly and Paige, you will drill a hole in the ice and get the I.V.

ready.

Yeah?

Let's go.

It's good to be back on the team.

You're not on the team.

I'm kind of on the team.

No, not really.

Are you following PANNS antagonizing this jerk?

Happy, that's not very SCABOBI.

Uh, I am trying to A, always keep a positive frame of mind.

You can't do that if you refuse to SCABOBI.

Walter: Guys?

Shut up.

Let's go.

[motor whirring]

Sylvester: Drill a hole, pump it with bacteria, easy peasy.

Though, it makes me nervous we don't know how much methane is leaking through the fissures now.

Happy: It's safe levels for the time that we'll be down here.

Trust me.

If it were getting bigger, you'd be getting loopy.

You gonna be careful with that thing?

I mean, you're basically drilling into a giant ball of expl*sive gas.

Huh.

Like Cabe after jerky.

Really?

I cr*ck one joke a year, and I get nothing.

I'm sorry, I've just been thinking.

About a lot of things today.

We're geniuses, we're always thinking about a lot of things.

What's bothering you?

Hey!

Watch it.

Sorry.

There's one more generator cable up here.

[rumbling]

Oh...

Earthquake aftershock.

You guys okay?

Happy [over radio]: Yeah.

Just a little rumbling.

You guys okay down there?

Yeah, we're fine.

Uh, ladder fell off.

We'll never be able to throw the hooks back at you.

You're gonna have to grab the cables and carabiners from the truck, tie it to the tow rig, and pull us up when we're done.

Paige: Okay.

I'll get on it.

Sylvester: And the pump came apart.

We got to do everything over again.

Good.

Gives us time to talk.

You're down here with me trying to save the world.

And if your head is somewhere else other than on task, we could fail, so spill it, before I punch you in the gooty.

See?

It's catching on.

Okay, I'll tell you, just...

take your comms out.

Okay.

What's your secret?

Today I read my own obituary.

And it was pretty depressing.

Obits aren't really knee-slappers.

No, I mean it was short and lame.

And the thing that hit the most was that it didn't even mention Megan.

Marrying her was the most important thing I ever did in my life.

And after I supposedly d*ed in a plane crash...

there was no recording of it.

It was like it never existed.

Like we never existed.

I, um...

I understand why you're upset...

Sorry, I didn't mean to bring you down.

Start drilling.

[drill powers on]

Toby: Uh...

according to the GPS, we're over the sea right now.

Just a quarter mile from where the ice shelf ends and the water starts, so the ice shouldn't be too thick.

We'll only have to lower the buckets a few feet to scoop out sea muck, with all its microbiotic goodness.

Cabe and I will make a hole right here, you guys get the buckets ready.

Okay, Paul Bunyan, let's hit it.

It is so good to be working with you again, Walter.

And thank you for trusting me.

Believing in my theory.

Not just thinking I was some crackpot.

Oh, I do think you're a crackpot.

I also think that you're brilliant.

And I've weighed all the factors, and brilliant b*at crackpot by a...

a-a nose.

Well, thank you for that.

Especially 'cause you seem to be paying the price for it.

How is that?

Comms.

No, I just meant that I saw the little tête-à-tête between you and Paige earlier, and it looked tense.

It's none of your business.

No, I-I know.

I know it's not.

It's just, when I see you and Paige, I see people who need help.

Might be facing an extinction event of their own.

What do you mean by that?

Walter, it just means that you have to be very aware of how different you and Paige are, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Otherwise, your relationship is gonna have the half-life of francium.

22 minutes?

Paige is so sweet and refreshing.

She's like fruit punch.

And you and your brain is like a Ferrari engine.

Now, you can't just put fruit punch in a Ferrari and expect it to run.

You know?

Anyway, Walter, I'm only telling you this because I care deeply about you.

And I want to see you and Paige make it.

[drill whirring]

Okay, hole's done.

Toby [over radio]: Yeah.

We're making progress here, too.

Yeah, a few more buckets of sludge and we should be okay.

I'm almost done with the ropes.

I've attached tire irons on the ends so you can stand on them when I pull you up.

Pretty smart, huh?

Happy: Yeah.

Really good.

Needy much?

[chuckles]

You feeling better?

I'm still upset.

But not about Megan.

I'm concerned about Fruity Moons.

The cereal?

The marshmallow bits?

Stars, suns, even little Jupiters and Plutos.

But they don't have any moons.

It's false advertising.

Yeah, that is a good point.

You know what?

The box had Jupiter and Pluto...

but does it have Uranus?

Get it?

Sweetums, ribald humor is not exactly your milieu.

Toby: What's going on?

I told my second joke of the day.

I told my second joke of the day.

Paige?

Okay, get us up.

Okay, the aftershock must have opened the fissures wider.

More gas is escaping.

We're suffering from methane poisoning.

[gasps]

Sly, keep your head on, and don't let the gas get you daffy.

In 90 seconds, their bloodstreams will be saturated and they'll die.

Walter!

[yells]

Toby!

Toby!

[faint, echoing]: Toby!

Toby!

Toby?

Toby!

It's too dark.

He can't find the hole.

Toby!

Toby!

He's gone.

W-What do you mean he's gone?

I accidentally knocked him in, and the current pulled him under.

Oh, Collins, you son of a bitch!

Walter: Toby!

Toby!

Collins: There he is.

Busting up the ice.

Wait, wait.

Where?

The current has him moving all over.

Look, if we know where he's gonna be in a couple seconds, then we put a hole there.

How much does the psychiatrist weigh?

He boxed at 168 pounds.

And he moved ten feet in 2.5 seconds...

And in a parabolic arc of 8.12...

Which means that in 30 seconds, he'll be...

Both: There.

Here?

Happy: Better fish him out, O'Brien, damn it!

Everyone, we have a plan.

Paige, what's the ETA on getting the hysterical bride out of the hole?

You worry about your catastrophe, I'll worry about mine.

There!

He's right on course.

Five seconds.

Put your back into it, Agent!

[Cabe grunts]

He's coming now.

Move it, Cabe!

Where are you going?

Hold my feet.

He's got Toby.

Pull.

[all grunting]

[panting]

You pulled me out?

Only a lunatic was gonna jump in that water.

I was the natural choice.

Paige: You'll be topside in 15 seconds.

[gasps]

I'm falling, I'm falling!

Oh, oh.

Guys, I'm sliding.

No, no.

No, no, no.

What's going on up there?

Paige: I don't know.

I'm getting no traction.

Okay, the aftershock must have softened the ice.

Okay, give it short bursts of gas.

Don't floor it.

[engine revving]

Elevator up.

[gasps]

Paige: You guys okay?

Wait.

Uh, wait, hold on, hold on.

I-I lost my-my wedding ring.

It must have come off when I was clawing up against this ice.

Paige, do not stop.

Sly, it is a Band-Aid.

I will get you another.

It had remnants of my original wedding band.

It's sacred.

Happy: Paige, keep going.

What if you lower me down for just a second?

I know I can find it.

That cave is full of poison gas.

I don't care.

I need that ring!

What the heck?

Happy?!

Happy!

Happy!

[grunts]

Happy.

[groans]

I slipped off.

Sorry, Pal, not going back in.

Change into those ASAP.

Hate to rush you, but we still got to get the bacteria to the crevice.

[door closes]

Let's move that wet jacket.

I, um...

guess I owe you a thanks.

It's the least I could do.

No, no, the least you could have done was let me drown in the Barents Sea.

That's exactly the behavior of the old Collins, not the man you see in front of you now.

You were telling the truth.

Or you're a sociopath who knows how to circumvent my brilliant eye.

The bacteria's loaded.

Buckle up.

[engine starts]

[hands rubbing together]

Happy: Okay, we are married for ten minutes, and you're already being dumb.

I didn't actually want to go in the water.

Oh, I love you, too.

[door opens]

[Collins groans]

Whoa, whoa.

Am I about to be struck?

Quick reminder, he's the one who actually saved me.

He is also the one who put you in danger.

Accidentally.

Sweetums, you're breaking the "A" of PANNS.

"Always strive to be in a positive state of mind" Come on, don't let Collins challenge our marital creed.

It was an accident, kiddo.

I was there.

[whispers]: I'm not buying this "new you" bit.

God, she is terrifying.

We're constructing gas masks out of the air filtration system from the vehicle so you and Cabe can descend down to the crevasse and inject the bacteria into the methane bubble and neutralize it.

Make those masks sturdy.

We can't be saving the world from a bug takeover debating Fruity Moons.

Okay, I'll start working on mine.

Cabe, can you pop the hood?

And, Happy, Sly, finish on Cabe's.

Can you hold this?

Hmm, you seem...

thoughtful.

Your "hysterical bride" comment, insinuating that I was not doing my job by failing to keep Happy's genius psyche in balance?

Uh, you're upset because I critiqued your job performance?

Are you asking as my boyfriend or as a team member?

Team member.

Um, this boyfriend/girlfriend thing, i-it's a blurred line, to say the least.

I-I just...

I never anticipated these types of problems would continue after we got together.

I just think that we should...

be aware of potential pitfalls, just so that we can continue to, you know, be...

together.

That is very EQ of you, Walter, and I agree.

Okay.

Okay.

Happy: O'Brien.

Quit your yacking and get those filters ready.

What are you looking at?

Just an incredible woman.

I just wanted to congratulate you.

Walter O'Brien three years ago versus Walter O'Brien now?

It's like night and day.

Not that you don't still have a long way to go, but still, kudos.

Are you done, Mark?

No.

But I'll conclude.

Speaking as one of his oldest friends, Walter is like the fermented fish that he eats so obsessively.

He's a...

acquired taste that most people never fully acquire, unless you're a harp seal, which...

[laughs]

Anyway, you can discuss the emotional divisions ad nauseam.

Are you a team member, or are you his girlfriend?

You were listening?

Well, it's a small tundra.

My point is, at the end of the day, there is no end of the day.

Whereas you used to be able to escape the constantly cerebral with the occasional baseball player or Navy SEAL, now it's just...

fermented fish with every meal...

forever.

I'm sorry.

Am I being negative?

'Cause I-I don't mean to be negative.

It's just that, well, I see you guys and I'm worried about you.

[rumbling]

Aftershock.

Brace yourselves!

The gas generator.

If it falls into the crevasse and ruptures near one of the methane leaks, it could...

Duck!

Oh, this is bad.

Aah!

It could've been worse.

Almost lost a gooty.

Happy: Aah, this is very bad.

Every single gust of wind pushes the fire back down into the methane pocket.

It'll produce an expl*si*n equivalent to an atomic b*mb.

That's us dead, along with half of Northern Norway.

Not gonna happen.

Walter?

Fire.

We need fire.

I think we have too much of that.

Walter: No, we need to harness it so we can direct it to where we want, like the interior ice wall of the crevasse.

Melt the wall.

Water flows down into the hole, dowses the flame.

k*lling the flame is great, but if you blow out an oven burner, it doesn't mean gas isn't still escaping.

We're gonna avoid imminent expl*si*n, but there's still gonna be methane pouring into the atmosphere.

We'll tackle that when we're not in danger of being disintegrated.

Oh, oh, oh!

The Arctic vehicle.

It's m*llitary surplus.

It has an armored undercarriage.

Pitch the Arctic truck into the crevasse, so it sits over the flame, redirects it around the sides, right into the crevasse wall.

Leaving one little issue.

Someone's got to go the driving.

At exactly the right speed and angle to pitch the truck into the crevasse so it sticks.

Sylvester: Miss by a hair and it topples into the flames.

I'm on the numbers.

This sounds like a su1c1de mission.

Not if Cabe rolls out the driver side door just before the crevasse.

Thanks for the nomination.

Believe in you, man.

No, the doc's right.

I know how to ditch a car at 30 miles an hour.

Uh, you're gonna have to go 45.

Okay, guys, let's get to work.

[grunts]

Careful.

Yeah, I got it.

Okay, we got it.

20% pitch at 45 miles an hour, which means you need to get up to 46 when you ditch out and the ditch-out spot needs to be precise.

All right, so mark the ice.

Place a stake in it.

Too big a window as to when you're gonna hit 45 miles an hour because of the icy terrain.

The exact moment of ditch is going to have to be calculated on the fly.

So, somebody that knows the numbers is gonna have to ride with me.

I know the numbers.

Also, if Cabe drives off, you're gonna be writhing on the ground with more juice in you than Con Ed.

That also factored into my decision.

Settled.

Collins is shotgun.

[door opens]

Walter: The numbers should work.

We accounted for the many potential variables.

Solid odds for a successful outcome.

You can do this.

Get out of there safely, okay?

All right.

Thank you.

Watch the wheel pulling left, old man.

Cabe: Oh, right.

Thanks.

Cabe, I know you can do this.

All right, buddy.

You guys do know that I'm going with him, right?

Yup.

[engine starts]

Hold on to your beard!

Collins: Hey.

Angle it three degrees to your left.

Almost there.

Hold your position.

I hit 46 miles an hour!

We ditch in three, two, one!

Go!

My cuff is caught!

No!

Wait!

Collins isn't jumping.

Jump, you lunatic!

[van crashes]

[electrical buzzing]

[buzzing continues]

I can't believe I'm saying this.

We have to save Mark Collins.

Less than 30 seconds before Collins is cooked alive.

All those volts going through him, he can't even attempt to climb out!

Grab the grappling rope and throw it down to me.

Down?

Where are you going?

[grunts]

Come on!

Move out!

Let's go!

Hurry!

The crevasse wall is melting!

[rumbling]

That truck is gonna fall.

[metal groaning]

Get your foot in there.

Okay.

Pull!

[shouts]

[crashing]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[pants]

You still amped to be a part of the team?

[laughs]

Keeping an eye on that guy.

He's a bore worm.

He burrowed into us, into PANNS.

Now I think he's messing with Walt and Paige.

We should've known he'd play games.

We should've protected PANNS.

I know, right?

That is the new wave of marital stability.

It's an unbreakable contract and bond.

Well, the ketubah's been around for a thousand years.

Happy, that's a PANNS violation right there.

Cabe: Thank you, sir.

That was Director Carson.

I downloaded him on our current situation.

A new drill is coming in from the Gulf of Mexico in 36 hours.

That would suffice.

The collapse of the crevasse significantly slowed down the methane release.

It's probably a week till we're back in the red zone and we should have all the necessary chemicals and bacteria pumped in well before then.

There's no "we." Them.

Carson has a m*llitary transport waiting at Thule.

He wants wheels up within the hour with you and me on it.

I'm taking you back to lockup.

Team's gonna stick around for the next day or so and wrap things up without us.

Course.

You may be a crazy man...

but what I saw today showed a lot of guts.

Hey.

Don't go too far.

Been lit up like Liberace's Christmas tree one too many times today.

[chuckles]

Well...

it appears I'll be going back to my federal accommodations.

You guys might not believe that I've changed.

Y-You don't have to.

But what is important is that you know that I care very deeply about you two.

And it was in that spirit that I shared the observations that I did about your relationship.

I may have overstepped, but I don't want you to feel like I was pouring cold water on a beautiful, new flame.

You couldn't if you tried.

Collins: That's the spirit.

But if there is any ill feeling...

I apologize.

I'm not used to trying to be...

human.

Mark.

Walter.

Miss Paige.

So, he talked to you, too, huh?

Walter: He did.

But he predicted an extinction event for Earth and we stopped it, so...

perhaps we can stop our own extinction event.

Perhaps.

Perhaps we're too inherently different.

I'm not saying he's right.

I'm just, I'm saying...

he is one of the six smartest people alive.

He could have a point.

Or maybe he's just...

being a jerk and messing with...

I don't know.

Well, I'm one of the five smartest people in the world and I do know.

Not to repeat myself, but if we can stop tons of methane in its tracks, then...

we can make this work.

You really feel that way?

Oh, the truth is, I feel like...

♪ I feel like sun is shining ♪ ♪ And the birds are singing.

♪ Sly, come on.

Sing about being squeamish and cleanliness.

Uh, no.

Walter.

He's jumping for joy.

What a dope.

You have such beautiful eyes.

What's wrong with you two?

I'm feeling light-headed.

Oh, man.

Okay, shake off the cobwebs, guys.

Uh...

Methane geysers, hundreds of them.

Must've opened in the last aftershock.

Guess we didn't stop the methane in its tracks.

We don't have a week to plug up these holes.

This will start warming the Earth's atmosphere within hours and then...

Mass extinction.

♪ Not good.

♪