04x10 - Between A Raccoon and a Hard Place

[bunniefuu]

All right, guys, what are the plans for today?

Crafting?

Crocheting?

Making fun of people who come to camp for crocheting?

Oh, I know!

There's supposed to be this great hike to Dead Horse Drop.

That sounds really dangerous.

I know, right?

But I've heard amazing things about it.

Like, "If the views don't blow you away, the gale force winds will." As cool as that sounds, I have a better idea.

Let's play M.A.S.H.!

What's M.A.S.H.?

A game on paper that tells you your future.

Oh.

An indoor thing again.

Okay.

Are you sure, Gwen?

Yeah, of course.

I didn't know playing with paper could tell you your future.

I always thought you had to bury a tooth under an oak tree.

You're at that oak tree a lot.

Where are you getting these teeth from?

I'm not telling.

Get your own teeth.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Where are we going?

If you found a gator you need me to rassle, I've been out of the game for years.

I just noticed that you haven't been doing a lot of outdoorsy things lately, so I found a group of girls who can help you with that.

All: Extreme!

[All grunt]

Hey, girls.

This is Gwen, the one I told you about.

Gwen, this is Riley, Jane, and Talia from Flying Squirrel Cabin, aka the "Extreme Team." Why are you called the "Extreme Team"?

'Cause we're extreme!

Sorry, sometimes I get a little too extreme.

No such thing.

Never apologize for your extremitude.

Unless you're in a library.

In which case, be respectful to your librarians, brah.

They like all the same outdoorsy stuff you do.

That's so cool.

Did you all just come back from mountain climbing?

Psst, yeah we did.

But it was pretty lame.

Only one or two brushes with death.

As a counselor, I'm going to pretend you just said "one or two brunches with Beth." You girls have fun.

Have you ever rock climbed before?

Totally.

But I never use that fancy gear.

It doesn't come up much when your trainer is a mountain goat.

Whoa.

The most extreme kind of goat.

Both: Extreme goat!

Huh!

You guys!

The nurse is completely wrong about my ankle.

I'm fine, I'm great...

Great gravy lumps, that hurt!

What happened?

Lou fell off a ladder trying to get another ladder off the roof.

Stupid question, why was there a ladder on the roof?

Stupid answer, Finn got his paper airplane stuck on the roof, and I told him we could use a ladder to get it down.

So I threw one up there.

It didn't work.

The nurse said Lou has to stay in bed for a while.

Okay.

Why does she have to stay in our beds?

We use the spare mattress to hide our...

Nothing.

The Director's Cabin is too far from everything.

If I have to run this camp from a bed, it had better be a bed closer to the action.

You know what's even closer?

A nice pile of napkins in the Mess Hall.

Funny.

You're going to need that sense of humor when you're taking care of me.

Say what now?

I just don't know how I'm going to do all this stuff now.

[Sighs]

Sign out canoes.

Organize the walk-in fridge.

Don't worry, Lou.

Finn, Matteo and I will run the camp for you while you heal.

Yeah!

Totally.

That's very nice of you guys, but let's be real.

Y'all are better at making problems than fixing them.

Come on, Lou!

We can do this.

Between the three of us...

two of us, we can totally run this camp.

Fine.

But you do know this camp is the most important thing in the world to me, right?

Come on.

Trust us, Lou.

We can take care of the camp for you.

Is your shirt on inside out?

Let's not read into that.

So, if the guys are taking care of the camp, then I guess you can take care of you.

Nice try.

Wash me.

Destiny, I just came back from river rafting with the Extreme Team, it was awesome!

I forgot how much fun deathly peril can be.

Also, look, they gave me this rope and carabiner to show I'm part of the team now.

I'm officially [Loudly]

"extreme"!

You don't have to tell me.

The veins in your neck say it all.

Sorry, I'm just so excited.

And I'm excited for you!

I can't wait to meet your new friends.

You should come see us off tomorrow.

We're going to try that hike I've been wanting to do, up to Dead Horse Drop!

Okay, sure!

Hey, you want to go grab dinner?

Nah, I'm good.

The Extreme Team gave me a bunch of their homemade gopher jerky.

Is that what happened to the cute, little gopher that lived under our cabin?

Do you want the truth or do you want to feel good?

Congrats, guys, on a successful day yesterday.

Everything went easy peasy, mac and cheesy...

Although we never did find the cheese for last night's macaroni and cheese.

But surprisingly, the macaroni and nothing was a big hit.

I still don't get it.

Who would take 200 packets of powdered cheese?

No clue.

[Coughs]

You can cross solving that mystery off the list.

Why don't you guys start today by cleaning up the kitchen?

On it.

[Dishes clattering]

Um, Noah, you didn't take out the trash last night.

Correct, because I'm management.

And I also took a peek, looked super squishy.

But don't worry, I know you guys will be all over it.

Actually, a bunch of raccoons are already all over it.

What?

[Raccoons chittering]

[Dishes clattering]

Hey there, Lou!

[Chuckling nervously]

How ya doin'?

What a welcome surprise!

Do something!

I just thought I'd check on y'all and see if you needed my help.

Make sure my camp hasn't b*rned to the ground.

Again.

Ava.

[Slurping]

Ah!

If you do burn it down, make sure I'm in it.

[Clattering]

What's going on in the kitchen?

Just kitchen stuff.

[Chuckles nervously]

Maybe you should go back to bed.

You're asking crazy questions.

Okay, okay.

I thought y'all might need my help, but apparently you're doing fine.

I should've known you wouldn't have needed a crutch.

Unlike me.

[Raccoons chittering]

[Laughing loudly]

Yeah!

[Raccoon chittering]

[Continues laughing awkwardly]

Wow, I didn't think it was that hilarious.

Guess I didn't break my funny bone in the fall.

Yep, should've gone out on top.

Please make sure Lou doesn't leave Woodchuck Cabin until we fix...

[Loud clattering]

A situation.

Ava!

Juice!

You think you have a situation?

The more juice she drinks, the more tinkle trips we take.

Okay, so we tried to chase the raccoons out with a broom, and, long story short...

they're armed now.

Destiny, come and meet everyone.

Hello, Extreme Team!

I brought you all some homemade trail mix.

This is Riley, Jane, and Talia.

Destiny, this trail mix is trail max!

I'm always trying to perfect my on trail food for minimum weight and maximum fuel, and this is extreme!

Whoa.

[Chuckles]

Does she do that all the time?

Do what?

You gotta join us on our hike.

Thanks, but hiking's not really my thing.

I prefer to take walks the old-fashioned way, on a treadmill.

Have fun.

Aw, come on.

Join us.

Join us.

Join us!

Well, okay then.

But only if Gwen's all right with me tagging along.

Of course!

I always want to go hiking with you.

Great!

You know, I'm actually kind of excited.

Where are we going again?

Dead Horse Drop.

Okay, less excited.

[Panting]

I can't believe I said yes to this.

I'm sweating!

Don't worry.

Once we get to the mountain top, the wind will blow our sweat on each other.

It's like an ocean spray.

But the ocean's my pits!

Great.

I don't know.

We still have a long way to go.

Maybe you should head back before you get too tired.

Or, hear me out...

We can all take this trail!

"Wildflower Walk." I don't know.

That doesn't sound very extreme.

Does it, Riley?

But they're not just any flowers.

They're wildflowers.

Ooh, "wild" is almost as good as "extreme"!

But come on, Gwen, we can do Dead Horse Drop tomorrow.

Right now, we should do a hike we can all finish.

Is that okay with you?

Of course.

Cool.

Lead the way, Destiny!

I'm gonna pick the snot out of those flowers!

Uh, guys?

Is that counselor's belly button winking at me?

Funny story.

Um, remember how you asked me to send the laundry out?

Well, the clothes were a mess, so I thought it would be best to have them washed in extra hot water and...

they kind of shrank, a little.

A little?

These kids looks like they robbed a toddler's closet.

Wow, toddler crime.

I just got really sad.

Well, it's a good thing we're all going to look at this as an endearingly funny anecdote.

[Chuckles]

Right?

Finn!

I asked you to water the lawn!

Okay, in my defense, I'm incredibly inconsistent.

We have to fix this before Lou sees any of it.

At least I got the raccoons out of the Mess Hall.

Where'd they go?

Who cares?

At this point, anywhere is better than where we eat.

[Chittering]

Except for where we sleep.

That would be worse.

Yay, you're here!

We're making leather belts.

But I thought we were finally going to do our hike.

We were, but Destiny says matching accessories would be a better way than ropes and carabiners to say we're the Extreme Team!

Plus, it means I get to punch holes in stuff.

Woohoo!

[Grunts]

Yeah!

Holes!

But I really liked the rope and carabiner idea.

Matching belts are not very extreme.

That's why we're making them extremely long.

Mine wraps around my body four times.

How hardcore is that?

So hardcore.

And so in right now.

Want me to start you a belt, too?

I don't want a belt.

How about [Gasps]

an arm cuff?

I don't want an arm cuff either.

I want to hike to Dead Horse Drop!

It's all I've wanted to do for weeks.

But no!

We're doing exactly what Destiny wants.

Just like always.

Wow, Gwen.

That was extremely rude.

Well, at least there's still one extreme person on this team.

Another tinkle trip?

I'm taking away your sippy cup.

No, I need to go check on my camp.

I can't believe I left it in the hands of someone who still makes airplane noises when he feeds himself.

Lou, Noah's got everything under control.

You know, you just need to learn how to trust people more.

You never trust anyone.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Sorry if I feel like you should just relax, and let someone take care of you for once.

Well...

it has been nice having someone feed me my juice.

And my grapes.

And my ribs.

Yeah, especially when there's nothing wrong with your hands.

Ava?

Can you open the shades to let the sun in on my face?

It's so dark in here and I'm so...

[Stammers]

cold.

You know, too much Vitamin D is not good for you.

How about instead I just...

rub your feet?

Oh.

Well, don't I feel like a pretty, pretty princess?

Ava?

You know you have to touch them for it to work.

I'm just realizing that now.

♪ Forty-four bottles of fish bile on the wall ♪

♪ Forty-four bottles of bile ♪

♪ Only four more miles to Dead Horse...

♪ [Screaming]

♪ ...

Drop ♪ Help!

Anybody?

Help!

Okay, so animal control is coming tomorrow.

But for now, we've trapped all the raccoons in our cabin.

Which actually wasn't as hard as I thought.

Speak for yourself.

But joke's on him.

This shirt is Matteo's.

No, joke's on me.

[Chuckles]

Oh, yeah, right.

That reminds me, Matteo, where are we with the new clothes for the camp?

I ordered everyone new T-shirts and shorts.

People will be able to bend over and pick stuff up now.

Great.

Finn, how's our lawn looking?

All green again.

Amazing.

Great work, team.

Yes, and now that everything's under control, can I please let Lou leave the cabin?

I finally got her off to sleep but I cannot be the big spoon anymore!

It's definitely safe to let Lou roam around again.

We're going to give her camp back, disaster-free.

Thanks for letting me borrow this.

I didn't.

Ava, have you seen Gwen?

I'm really worried about her.

Why?

What happened?

Well, she got mad at me earlier, then stormed out of the Mess Hall.

It's been hours since I've seen her.

Did you try the weird oak tree with all the teeth buried underneath it?

I saw her heading off towards the woods.

She was mumbling something about a red horse.

She's taking the Dead Horse Drop hike by herself.

That's really dangerous.

Let's not jump to any conclusions.

But just in case, we should go look.

And we'll make sure Lou stays in the cabin until you find Gwen.

Look, guys!

I'm on the mend.

I think Ava's foot massages are magic.

Although, a little angry.

Don't push yourself, Lou.

I really think you should rest up more.

You know what the doctor says, "Done with the crutch, shouldn't walk much." "Foot feels good, doesn't mean you should." "He who smelt it, dealt it." As sage as all your medical advice is, I think I'm going to take a stroll around the camp and check on things.

Um, before you go...

why don't you try one of my foot massages?

Are they better than Ava's?

Only one way to find out.

I knew those baby-soft L.A.

hands were good for something.

Let's do this.

But first, we have to wrap you in this sleeping bag, because...

Because...

Why?

Because why...

Because why...

Because increased body heat helps circulation and speeds up the healing process.

And he who zipped it, ripped it.

We're not doing that anymore.

Let's go.

Hey, what about my massage?

Sorry, Lou.

But this is for your own good.

We don't want...

your leg gettin' in trouble.

I knew you were hiding something.

Oh.

Apparently, I was hiding something, too.

I think I just found a peanut.

Gwen!

Ava: Gwen!

Destiny: Gwen!

Gwen: Hello?

Help, I'm down here and I can't climb out!

We're here, Gwen.

We'll get you out.

We need leverage.

Do you have a rope and a carabiner?

Ugh, I did, but I tossed them away in a huff.

It seemed like an important huff at the time!

Wait...

We don't have a rope and carabiner, but we do have a super long belt with a buckle.

That might work.

Hang in there.

Gwen, do you think you can buckle this around your waist?

I can try.

I did it!

Great.

All right, Destiny, when I say "pull", you pull.

And here I was about to push.

Just do it.

[Both grunting]

[Grunts]

[Grunts]

[Both gasp]

[All grunting]

[All panting]

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Okay, let's climb down a little.

Whoa.

My heart's still pounding.

I'm so sorry.

I should have never tried to do this hike on my own.

I can't believe you felt like you had to.

Do we really always end up doing what I want to do?

Well...

yes.

And most of the time it's okay, because you're teaching me new, fun things.

But sometimes I miss doing the old fun things.

My things.

I didn't even realize I wasn't listening to you.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

So, are we...

extreme?

We're extreme.

[Sniffles]

Are you crying?

No.

It's the stupid pollen from the Wildflower Walk.

I can cure that.

I have some fish bile that'll clear you right up.

And clean you right out.

[Grunts]

Let me out of this thing, Noah!

Not only do I have an itch on my nose, but it's steamier in here than I care to mention.

[Exhales]

Now, what's really going on here?

Nothing!

Yeah, Lou.

Everything's going great.

Hmm.

Recycling bins are emptied.

Lawn looks fine.

[Sniffs]

I don't smell smoke.

Aha!

But where are the Woodchucks?

Destiny: Here we are!

So...

there's really nothing wrong?

Oh.

Looks like you guys handled everything perfectly.

Without me.

See, Lou?

I told you, you could trust us.

Looks like I really can.

Thanks, guys.

[Squishing]

What in the world...

Why is my foot green?

Why is your other foot not green?

And why is everyone wearing gigantic clothes?

Sizes confuse me.

I buy my clothes from Europe.

It's the superior tailoring.

[Chittering]

Dang it, they've mastered doorknobs!

I forgot about their stupid opposable thumbs!

Guys?

What's really going on here?

Okay, fine.

We failed at being Camp Directors.

Everything just fell apart without you.

Turns out you should have never trusted us.

Yeah.

I wasn't being well-supervised and I ended up in life-threatening danger.

Sorry, I thought we were all confessing things.

Can you forgive us?

Kids.

I am so thrilled!

You really do need me.

Ugh, it would have broken my heart if everything had gone well.

But you turned everything into a raging dumpster fire that you all should be ashamed of.

You guys are the best.

So does this mean you're gonna fix everything now?

Absolutely not!

I'll be in Woodchuck Cabin, finally relaxing knowing that you all are failing without me.

I am a great camp director.