01x11 - Nowhere to Hide

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Magnum P. I.". Aired: September 2018 to present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


An ex-Navy Seal returns to Hawaii as a private investigator.
Post Reply

01x11 - Nowhere to Hide

Post by bunniefuu »

I guess you're wondering why I'm running across the Hawaiian sand instead of lying on it with an umbrella drink.

Kind of wondering that myself right now, but, like my dad always said, to reach a goal involves sacrifice, and my goal right now is to complete an Ironman.

My father did a triathlon when I was a kid, and to him it was an honest goal, one he couldn't rely on others to achieve.

The Kona Ironman is in eight months, and I plan on sacrificing enough sweat to at least start it.

Finishing, well, that's another matter.

Higgins, what are you doing?

Training for the Ironman on Kona this fall.

Since when are you training for the Ironman?

Well, I heard you and Kumu talking about it, and I thought it sounded like fun.

You know me, I always like a challenge.

Your shoe's untied.

I'm not falling for that.

Oh, you're gonna fall, but it won't be because of me.

Thomas Magnum.

Yeah, I can be there in an hour. Okay.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You gave up. Never figured you for a sore loser.

You just can't stop gloating, can you?

I didn't give up. I got a call from a client.

Yes, I know, that's why I'm here.

There's a woman named Katya for you at the front gate.

I got an alert as I was coming off the beach.

But she's here early. Why didn't you just call me?

I tried. Apparently, you were busy, uh, washing off the stink of defeat. Hmm.

Anyway, chop, chop, Magnum.

You don't want to lose this one, too.

Come on.

Right this way.

Go ahead and have a seat. Thank you.

So...

How can I help you, Ms. Kudjakova?

Katya, please.

It's, uh, it's my older cousin Sergei.

We grew up in Russia together before my parents and I moved to Ukraine. This is him.

No matter how far apart we were, we always kept in touch.

He moved here last month, but despite the time difference, we still talked almost every day.

And then, last week, I couldn't get a hold of him.

His phone is no longer in service.

He's not answering his e-mails.

I got worried something happened, and I got on a plane.

Do you have reason to believe something happened to him, or is it more of a gut feeling?

Sergei was an online journalst in Russia.

He wrote some articles that were critical of the government.

Made some people angry.

Hmm.

He fled the country before anybody could harm him, got as far away as he possibly could.

He thought he could keep a low profile here, but now I'm afraid someone might have tracked him down.

Did you contact the police?

I'm coming to you instead.

Normally, in these kind of situations, you file a missing persons report.

Is there a reason why you don't want to do that?

Um...

This has to be discreet.

Sergei and I still have family in Russia, and if anyone were to find out that I'm here, trying to help him, it could jeopardize their safety.

Mr. Magnum, I don't know this island, and my cousin could be in danger or even worse.

I have no one else who could help me.

Please.

A missing journalist critical of a government that doesn't like criticism.

Katya's right to be worried.

We'll find him.

In the m*llitary, the mindset of being the best is drilled into your head from day one.

You may leave the m*llitary, but that never leaves you.

And as a private investigator, all cases matter, but most of the time you end up peeking through bedroom windows.

Not exactly life or death stakes.

Here, a man's life could be in danger, and whether he lives or dies could depend on how quickly I can find him.

The m*llitary also teaches you a little something called

"situational awareness," being aware of what's around you and what might pose a thr*at.

For instance, those two guys in the car back there, who I'm pretty sure have been following me.

Are they a thr*at? Maybe.

Thanks for coming. It's always easier to get a favor when you know a guy.

Or in your case, when you know a guy who knows a guy.

I don't get it, though. The guy you're looking for... he's trying to keep a low profile.

Why frequent the same restaurant?

One thing I know is, even if you're in hiding, you always want to find a little bit of home.

Well, this would be the place.

Orel is the Russian restaurant on the island.

We're talking old-school authentic. Trust me.

You got to try the beef khashlama here.

It's borderline erotic.

That's interesting. Uh, I'm not hungry, though.

I am.

Alexi... Rick.

Hey.

Hey, good to see you, too. This is my buddy Thomas I was telling you about.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, thank you for helping us out.

We really appreciate it. Anything for a friend of Rick.

This is the guy I'm looking for. Ah, yes, I know him.

He comes in several times a week at least.

Always sits alone, always pays cash, and, um, he always take food to go.

Hmm. If he comes in again, could you do me a favor, give me a call?

Of course.

Thank you. Hey, thanks for helping me out, man.

No problem. Listen, I'm gonna stick around and get some grinds. You want to hang?

Nah, I'm still training.

Didn't you get enough running when you were in uniform?

No, you know, it's, it's all about pushing yourself.

Pushing or punishing?

Pushing.

Enjoy your meat. All right.

You heard the man. Khashlamas, and keep 'em coming.

Same guys.

Still not sure if they're a thr*at, but they're definitely interested in me, and because I'm working a case, I'm thinking it could have something to do with that.

Hey, guys, how's it going?

You okay? Yeah.

What'd you say to those guys? "Hi."

Must've been the way you said it.

Think these guys are after Sergei, too?

Seems like a solid bet.

Uh, they must've gotten onto me by following Katya.

Well, that was fun while it lasted.

What are you doing? Why, why? Seriously?

If I pull over, we're gonna lose them.

If you don't pull over, we're going to jail.

Maybe not.

What are they doing?

Get down.

Hands! Let me see your hands!

How come every time I do you a favor, it always ends up with me getting g*ns pointed at my face?

I'm not gonna ask you again!

Katsumoto.

I was hoping they'd send you.

And I was hoping they'd hand you over to Five-O.

The people above my pay grade seem to think it's better if you stayed my problem.

Hey, we make a hell of a team.

Why don't you tell me about these guys you were chasing?

I'll tell you the same thing I told the booking officers.

I have never seen these guys in my life.

I don't know who they are.

They tried to run me over, and before that, they were following me.

And you didn't think to call HPD before you went after them?

I'm more of a... do-it-yourself kind of guy.

Were you on a job when all this happened?

Yeah, it was a missing persons.

Uh, I'm looking for a guy named Sergei.

He recently moved over here from Russia.

His family hasn't heard from him for a while.

Those two guys you chased, you think they're looking for him, too?

I think it's a strong possibility.

All right. Here's how this is gonna go.

Because I know you, and your story matches what Rick told me, I'm gonna let you out of here, but there's something I want to make clear.

I'm done bailing you out of jams.

Whatever good will credit you've built up with me, you've spent it all.

Noted.

I also have one condition.

You see those two guys again, you call me.

That's it.

I'll be sure to do that. Scout's honor.

Boy Scout, right.

Get the hell out here.

Thank you, Katsumoto.

Somebody call for a ride to the impound?

I swear, trouble follows you like toilet paper on a shoe.

That's gross.

It's not my fault. Two guys tried to run me over.

Uh, personal responsibility.

Thomas, maybe you ought to look inward and see what you did to provoke them.

You know, bro, one of these days, the van you're gonna be riding in is gonna be one of those blue ones with the grates on the window.

You're talking about prison transportation?

On account of all that illegal stuff you're always doing for your clients.

He's right, TM, you better watch it, man.

And by the way, I didn't roll on you, under Katsumoto's interrogation.

Really? Because he made it sound like, Like you just folded.

Mm-hmm. All right, you know what?

Sure, I told him what happened today, but, uh, I left out all the other stuff you've done.

Wh-What other stuff?

Really, Thomas? Yeah.

Uh, let's see, uh... tampering with evidence?

Breaking and entering.

Lying to the cops.

Using your buddies as fake P.I.s.

Oh, yeah.

Let's not forget that one.

Yeah, you know, this stuff's gonna come back to bite you, bud.

And I just pray that I am not there when it does.

Eh, you guys worry too much.

In you get.

Kumu, you're a saint.

Oh, the keikis at the children's hospital love these two.

The way their faces light up, I get more out of these weekly visits than they do.

You should come sometime. Oh, I'd like that.

Oh, my God.

What have you done to Mr. Masters' Ferrari?

Police impound lots aren't necessarily known for their cleanliness.

I...

What on earth, Magnum?

Oh...

Really? A hose? That's how you're gonna clean a $350,000 automobile?

I'm gonna get going.

Oh...

What are you gonna use to dry it?

And what about the water marks?

Uh...

I'll dry 'em off. Happy?

I am.

Thanks, Kumu.

Why was it even impounded in the first place?

Well, apparently, chasing two armed men who try to run you over is no excuse for breaking half a dozen traffic laws.

Someone tried to run you over?

Yeah, can you believe it?

I assume this has something to do with your case?

Yeah. My client hired me to find her cousin, and it turns out I'm not the only one looking for him.

You're like a magnet for danger, Magnum.

Why is that?

Occupational hazard, I suppose.

Very well.

I'll leave you to it, Magic Mike.

Hello.

Mr. Magnum, this is Alexi.

The man you're looking for, Sergei, he's here.

He is? Yes, yes.

Positive. That's him.

Okay, stall him. I'm on my way.

Stall him.

Yeah, I can do that.

Katya, it's Thomas Magnum.

I found Sergei. I'm going to get him now.

Meet us back at Robin's Nest in an hour.

Sorry.

Your food should be ready any minute now.

It's coming soon, I promise.

He just took off.

Where? This way. Down the alley.

TC, you up in the air?

Yeah, why?

I got a runner.

You mind dodging skyscrapers to track him down?

You can't be serious.

Sorry, boys.

Little detour.

TC, you see him yet?

All right, hang on.

I see a big guy running down an alley toward the canal.

Make a right at the end of the street and you'll find a grassy path behind the building.

On it.

Your boy's headed south now.

Take your next right.

Copy.

Check your 12, Ironman, you almost got him.

He just went into that building.

Thomas, he just ducked inside an apartment complex on the corner.

Coming up on your right. Thanks.

This is so going on Instagram.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh what?

Okay, you got a problem.

You got two men on your tail.

Both of 'em packing heat.

It's got to be the same guys that tried to run me over.

I think they're after Sergei. Well, I'd say, after f*ring on HPD, they're willing to go through anybody who gets in their way.

I got news for you, homie, you in the damn way.

You got 'em, TC? I did.

Just lost 'em behind some trees.

Another mistake people on the run tend to make is not getting creative enough with their cover.

John Black.

Yeah, that's original.

Heads up, TM. Bad guys are back on your six.

I know, I should call Katsumoto.

But right now there's no time.

I really hope I'm right about Sergei being John Black.

Easy, easy.

My name is Thomas Magnum.

Your cousin Katya hired me to find you.

I'm here to help. Okay, listen, we get to get out of here. There's two guys who I'm pretty sure want you dead.

I'm gonna take you to Katya, but we have to leave now, okay?

Yeah. I just need to get one thing.

No, we don't have time! We got to...

TC.

Hey, these guys are almost at the building.

You got to get out of there.

Okay.

Are you kidding me?

This is everything I took from home. It's all I have left.

Whatever. Let's just go.

TC, what do you got?

You got two tangos coming up on the Ewa side. Go now.

Okay. Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Move. Go.

Go, go.

We're good?

Yeah, you good, playboy.

But I'm running on fumes up here.

I got to bug out.

Copy that. Thanks.

Yes, can I help you?

Uh, yes, I'm here to see Mr. Magnum?

I was told to wait.

One moment, please.

Hey, Higgy, I meant to tell you, my client is coming.

Uh, could you let her into the guesthouse, please?

Magnum, listen to me.

Turn around and go straight to the police.

What? Why?

I ran your client through an old MI6 database.

Her real name is Inna Khamatov.

She's ex-Russian FSB.

The real Katya Kudjakova was k*lled in Finland three days ago.

No, no, not Katya.

Sorry. Sorry, Sergei.

Magnum.

Yeah.

Uh...

We're headed over to HPD now.

What about you? Are you gonna be okay?

I'll call HPD and get some cars sent to the house.

I'll stall Inna until they get here.

Okay. Be careful.

Oh. Hello there.

Uh, would you just give me a moment?

I have to call the police.

Hmm.

I didn't think so.

Back off.

Sweetheart, I got two dogs that'll tear you apart if you don't do what I say.

You deaf?

You and your cousin were close, weren't you?

She was more like a sister.

Both of our parents have passed away.

Neither of us had siblings, so... we were each other's only family.

Higgins.

No. Not Higgins.

But don't worry.

Both her and your other friend... are okay.

For now.

All right.

What do you want?

Sergei.

Here. One hour.

Understood?

I understand.

Get out.

Sergei. I can't let you take me to them.

Sergei, come on... No.

Let me come up with a plan. No. Go on.

Out.

Back away.

Sergei, please.

They're gonna k*ll my friends.

I'm sorry.

But there is more at stake than you know.

He was headed north. Let's go.

TC, any luck?

Not yet.

Working a grid, factoring in the direction he left, average speed, all that, still leaves a big margin of error.

I get it, just keep at it.

We're gonna stay in the direction Sergei was headed.

Just keep the line open.

Aye, aye, skipper.

TC's right.

Oahu seems like a small island until you try to find somebody on it.

Well, good news is, a 488 Spider in rosso corsa... that, my friend, is hard to miss.

Even from a thousand feet up. You know, people love to tell me that that car is a liability as a P.I., but I think that in this case, it's kind of an asset.

Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, um... but I could really use a trip to the loo.

I could use one, too.

Mm.

Neither one of you are going anywhere.

So, what's your story?

Are you MI6?

No, no I'm just the majordomo of this estate.

And you learned advanced fighting techniques at your local tae kwon do dojo?

I took a self-defense class.

Sure you did.

Come on, tell me.

What does it matter, anyway?

One way or another, we're never gonna see each other again.

I told you.

I'm just the majordomo.

Now your turn.

Why do you want this man, Sergei, so badly?

Thomas, I got him.

Oh, TC, I love you, man.

All right, stay close. I got you on GPS.

You're about two miles behind him.

We got company... again.

That's it, you're gaining on him.

There he is.

Sergei just turned onto Puuloa Road.

Roger that. Just stay on him.

Uh, Thomas, this road trip's about to come to an end.

Pull your vehicle to the side of the road.

Driver, pull your vehicle over now.

I give it five more minutes before they put out road spikes.

And, you know, these tires, they are $800 a pop.

What are you gonna do?

Were you even listening at all?

I said call me before you got in trouble, not when you're being chased by HPD.

I know, I know.

I told you, I'm done helping you.

Look, I know you've gotten me out of a couple of tight spots and maybe looked the other way a couple of times...

Hold up. "A couple"?

"Maybe"?

Okay, a lot and, and often.

But I'm, I'm asking you one more time, just please trust me. Call them off.

You chasing those guys who tried to run you over?

I'm, I'm chasing the guy I was looking for.

Wait, let me get this straight.

This guy you're after, you found him?

Only now he's running from you?

Look, it's a long story, one I'd love to tell you all about once this thing is over, but please trust me on this one.


Call HPD off.

Do you have any idea what you're asking here?

I mean, any concept at all?

No, I-I do, and, you know, honestly, I hate myself for putting one of my closest friends in this position.

I'm sorry, close friend? You serious?

You know full well we're not even remotely friends.

So just stop. Okay.

Well, I guess I misunderstood the relationship.

I'm hanging up now. Good luck with HPD.

Katsumoto, no, wait.

Please, please. Look, I...

I'm sorry, all right, for all the times you've bailed me out, and I-I don't think I've ever said that.

And, well, thank you.

I don't think I've ever said that, either.

Look, Katsumoto, you're a good man.

You know?

Why do I get the feeling you're playing me?

Look, I wouldn't trust me either, but, please, I'm gonna ask anyway.

Call 'em off.

They're backing off.

Are you kidding me?

They are? They're really backing off?

Wow, okay.

Well, I guess it's time to find Sergei.

Right on top of him, boys.

H-Hang on, you really don't want to do that, pal.

Your turn, get out, give it.

Come on. Now, Sergei.

It's time to come clean, and I mean everything.

There's no way somebody's gonna go through all that trouble on foreign soil for some small-time journalist.

You're right.

It's not me they want.

Then what do they want?

All right.

I'll bite.

What's in the suitcase?

A SADM device.

A suitcase nuke?

A prototype, yes.

No, that's not possible.

The U.S. and Russia have been trying to build something like this for years without success.

Until now.

Oh, all right.

Well, I don't know what a suitcase nuke looks like, but I bet it looks like that.

Well, obviously, you're not a journalist.

So who are you?

I was a scientist.

In Russia's nuclear program.

For the past five years, this device is all I worked on.

But I wanted out.

Only I couldn't leave something like this behind.

So I took it with me to keep it safe.

Safe? You've been hiding this in your closet ever since you got here.

I was working on a way to properly dispose of it.

Why not give it to the proper authorities?

So the wrong people don't get their hands on it.

Because no one should have something like this.

Katya understood that.

She helped me to smuggle it out of the country.

And now she's dead because of this.

I had a plan.

I wanted to take this radioactive material to Kaho'olawe.

A b*mb testing site. It's uninhabited.

75% of the island still has unexploded ordnance.

You were gonna bury it there.

Yes, after having dismantled it.

But to do that, it takes time and the proper equipment.

It's complicated.

The bottom line is, this device... has an expl*sive yield equivalent to 1,000 tons of TNT.

I understand your friends are in danger, but you cannot hand it over in exchange for them.

Hey, do me a favor: don't touch anything.

How much time do we have left?

Not enough time to make a real plan.

I guess we're gonna have to wing it.

Wing it? Yeah. Wing it.

I'm not comfortable using the words "wing it" when dealing with a nuclear device.

Ah... we-we don't have a choice.

Make a plan.

All right. We're gonna wing it.

We're gonna wing it.

That's Magnum.

Where is Sergei?

I know what you guys are after.

Relax.

Hey-hey.

Easy.

Whoa! Oh, it's me. You guys okay?

Where are the other two?

Neutralized.

And the man they were after?

He's safe.

Besides, they weren't after him.

They were after something he had.

What?

Mahalo, Thomas.

A SADM device. A SADM device?

What, do you mean to say that you brought a functioning nuclear w*apon onto Robin Masters' estate?

What was I supposed to do? I wasn't gonna let 'em hurt you guys.

Besides, looks like everything worked out.

What if it didn't?

Well, Rick's up in TC's chopper with a sn*per r*fle, and HPD's sitting right outside the gate.

Might want to call the dogs off before you let 'em in.

You wanted to know who I am?

I'm the woman you're going to be thinking about while you spend the rest of your life in prison.

What were they gonna do with that nuke, anyway?

Probably sell it to a terror cell, would be my guess.

One thing I don't get.

What would you have done if that little

"release the hounds" routine didn't work out?

He makes a good point.

The dogs could have just as easily gone after you.

I just needed a distraction.

You know, sure, they don't like me, but they're trained to neutralize a thr*at.

Right?

Oh, I guess it could've really gone bad, though.

Come along, lads. Extra treats today.

Called in the pros to make sure that suitcase gets properly disposed of.

But let's say, from now on, you stick to going after missing cats instead of missing nukes.

I don't choose my clients. They choose me.

Well, then, you should do a better job screening them.

Agreed.

Hey, thanks for trusting me.

Don't get used to it. Today was a one-off.

Yeah.

I'm winning him over.

I'm sorry.

Well, let's just hope that your government has the wisdom not to use it.

Yeah. You all right?

I'm not sure.

I always thought one day I'd go home.

But Katya was my only family.

I really don't have anything to return to.

I guess...

Hawaii's my new home.

You know, a really good friend of mine told me that the beef khashlama at Orel is just insanely good.

Your friend is right.

I've never tried it before, but, I don't know, maybe we could get together next week, grab some lunch.

I could give it a sh*t.

I'd like that.

Me, too.

Oh. Hi.

Chef said you wanted to see me?

Yes, thanks. Um, I, I just wanted to check you're okay.

I'm fine. Why?

Well, I suppose because the first time I went through an ordeal like the one the other day, um...

Must be old hat to you by now.

Maybe, but I'll never forget the first time someone pulled a g*n on me.

It was in Kiev.

My second assignment for MI6.

It was terrifying.

He had this, uh, cheap revolver pointed right in my face.

I remember being able to see directly down the barrel of the g*n.

What happened?

Oh, that's not important.

What is important is, um, what happened after that, once I got home.

You broke down?

Quite the opposite. I buried it.

So deep.

I tried to forget that it had ever happened.

Which is the absolute worst thing I could have done, of course.

Just 'cause you bury something doesn't mean it's gone.

Very true.

Anyway, my point is that if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here, any time.

That's very human of you.

I know I can, uh, sometimes come across rather cold.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... No, no.

No, it's okay. It's okay.

God knows, the accent doesn't help.

Truth is, it's been an easy way for me to keep people at an arm's length.

But I'm trying to do that... less.

I think people can pretty much do anything, with a little practice.

Me, too.

Anyway, I appreciate the offer.

Hopefully, I don't have to take you up on it.

Me, too. Hopefully not.

Well, I have to get back. All right.

Enjoy your run.

Thanks. Hmm.

Thank you, Juliet, for everything.

You're welcome.

Turns out, my dad was right.

Reaching goals does require sacrifice, but so does doing something for the greater good.

Sergei and his cousin were ordinary people who made extraordinary sacrifices in order to do the right thing.

And no one outside of a few people will ever really know.

As sacrifices go, they don't get more noble than that.

Rematch, Magnum?

Rematch? We've never officially raced.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You quit.

Here.

You ever think that, I don't know, maybe racing is more about pushing yourself and less about b*ating somebody else?

No, I don't, and neither do you.

We both know that the whole point of competing is to try and win.

Hmm. Intriguing prospect.

You want to make this run a little more fun?

How about we race to that lifeguard tower over there?

Okay. Sounds good.

What's in it for the winner?

Bragging rights. I already have those from our last race. Whatever.

Just name your stakes.

Okay. If I win, you cannot ask a single favor of me for an entire month.

Four weeks?

Yes, that constitutes a month, Magnum.

I'll do two weeks.

Ah, you're that certain you're gonna lose?

No, I'm gonna win. Right.

Four weeks, then.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

On one. Ready.

Three...

...two...

Cheater!

Sore loser!
Post Reply