04x09 - Soup

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN (OVER PA): Sorry to announcement to passengers on Delta Flight 4251 to Atlanta.

The flight has been delayed due to bad weather conditions.

The flight crew has arrived at the gate, and the ground crew will be deicing the wings of the aircraft...

Here you go. Happy Holidays. Thanks.

WOMAN: Just what I need. Thank you.

Here you go. Happy... Oh. Happy Holi... Get a real job.

I need a real job, too. Thank you.

I said I wouldn't, but that edible really kicked in.

I don't get it. I mean, it looks fine outside, but they're saying there's a Nor'easter with a b*mb cyclone in New York.

Don't say b*mb in the airport.

I mean, okay, but they're not gonna let us, like, fly out in that, right?

I don't know. I don't think you should be reading those weather apps, man.

They're trying to sensationalize to draw ad traffic.

Yeah. Well, not all of us can just, like, get stoned and check out like you can. Oh yeah.

(MUMBLES): Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(SIGHS) You got any more classic quotes from your dad?

Um, no, they all sound the same.

Yeah, I'm sure they do.

WOMAN (OVER PA): We regret to inform you that American flight 1487 with service to Phoenix Sky Harbor International is canceled.

(CROWD GROANING) Hell yeah.

Cancel culture wins again.

What, you didn't wanna go?

I mean, I'm not trying to get on a plane in the first place, let alone one that's going into a b*mb cyclone. Well, you just said b*mb.

(HUSHED): We gotta stop saying b*mb. (PHONE BLOOPS)

Okay, here's the plan.

I say we go back to my place in Brooklyn, and that way, you don't have to go all the way back uptown just to come back downtown tomorrow morning. I mean, I can just meet you back here tomorrow, that's also fine.

You could just also see my new place, meet my new dog.

No? It'll be fun.

You're just gonna go to your dorm and spend the night alone? Yeah, hopefully.

Come on. We'll go to my place, we'll do a little Hanukkah thing.

We'll make latkes.

We make matzo ball soup.

ILANA: I don't know. Oh, I know. I like this plan.

I like it a latke.

ILANA: Uh-huh. Stop.

♪ Oh, I like latkes, lots of latkes ♪

(FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN (OVER RADIO): Merry Christmas. It's gonna be...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

WOMAN: No, grab all three! She wanted the whole pack.

Hey. DESTINY: Don't pet that cat.

Why? Is it diseased?

DESTINY: (SCOFFS) I can't with you right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, please pass the empty baskets back once you're done with them. Thanks so much.

Enjoy your day!

(DESTINY GRUMBLING)

(BABY CRYING) (PHONE RINGING)

PAM-ANNE: You need help? DESTINY: Oh.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

(BABY CRYING) Aw, hey!

DESTINY: ¿Hablas inglés? Okay, hi.

We have a reservation for four nights starting tonight, but our connecting flight in was canceled due to weather here in New York.

We'll be on the first flight tomorrow, but are we out the money we paid for tonight?

(QUIETLY): I would yell. I'm not gonna yell.

Why can't we stay in a hotel?

Because I pay rent here.

And why is it called a crash pad?

That's a terrible name. Oh, I don't know.

Well, at least I can meet some of your friends.

Girl, I don't know these people!

PAM-ANNE: What?

Isn't everybody Delta? DESTINY: Pam, I don't know! Stop!

THE GUY: Your sister visited my last apartment, but you're the first one in the family who's actually ever been here, so welcome.

Did you just leave that burning?

Oh. No, that's the, uh, the dog-sitter, it looks like.

Stupid.

Yeah. Okay, that makes two.

Can I take your coat? Yeah.

Um, did, uh, Dad tell you that Margaret d*ed?

No. I'm sorry. She was such a good dog.

I know. She was old. She was, like, 16, but it was still definitely sad.

Yeah, it happens.

(SIGHS) So, this is the house that weed built.

This is a carriage house built by a Dutchman in the 1800s, most likely, but I can afford it because it doesn't have a certificate of occupancy, so, shh! Hmm.

And you'll be staying here. Mm.

No one's ever slept up there. It's fun. I do not know about going up and down this ladder.

The ladder's safe. Okay, but you just said no one's slept up there before, so how would you know?

I don't know. Uh, yeah.

Oh! You know what?

I joined this community garden this year.

It was a really good summer.

I made pickles.

I made all these pickles. I grew all of this food.

Do you want a pickle? Do you want... Take any one.

Um, I don't really do pickles.

Well, do you do Judaism? 'Cause that's part of it.

And then I got plant world over here.

This is money tree.

It's hard to k*ll. Dracaena.

I'm even growing some stuff. Check this out.

This is a sesame.

I just dropped in a f*cking sesame seed.

(DOOR SLAMS, MAN GRUNTS)

ILANA: Cool. Oh!

Hey! You're gonna love this. CHAD: Hello?

Here's my little baby! Oh!

(FOMO GROWLS)

(HIGH-PITCHED): Nice to see you!

Ilana, this is Fomo. Hello, Fomo.

THE GUY: Hey. Hey. How are you, my baby?

I'm sorry about your flight. Oh, I'm not. It's okay.

Uh, Chad, this is Ilana. Ilana, this is Chad.

He's my, uh... Chad.

ILANA: Hello. That's nice. Hello.

THE GUY: Yeah. So, you live in Arizona?

No, I live, uh, here.

Yeah, she's going to Barnard. CHAD: Mm!

I know of it. THE GUY: Yeah.

Aw, she likes you, Ilana.

CHAD: You like living here? Um, it's fine.

(FOMO WHINES) She doesn't really go below 110th Street.

Why would you? ILANA: That's true, yes.

CHAD: Oh, I'm glad I got you here.

Um, I have some preemptive concerns about your babies in the closet.

Uh, let's... (ILANA CLEARS THROAT)

... talk about that over here. Oh. Okay.

ILANA: So cute.

I think you might have spider mites.

No... Yeah.

This "mite" be a problem. (THE GUY CHUCKLES)

THE GUY: Where? CHAD: See what I'm saying?

Well, under here, I think these are little webs...

THE GUY: That's impossible, man.

I f*cking sprayed it with an insecticide.

This isn't supposed to...

CHAD: Okay, I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think...

Hi. These are weed plants.

Mm. Cool. Yeah, just keep breaking the law.

THE GUY: Uh... I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

It's almost legal, though, truly.

Fomo, are you coming with me?

THE GUY (QUIETLY): So, that's my narc side of the family.

Her dad is, like, a total f*ckin' narc.

He actually told on somebody at the Tom Petty concert for smoking weed.

This is your brother? Yeah. Like, during that "Roll Another Joint" song, like...

What tour was that?

♪♪

(TRAIN CLATTERING)

They haven't canceled anything tomorrow yet, so maybe. (MAN SHOUTING OVER PHONE)

JENNIE: I don't know, honey. Snow is snow.

MAN: Baby, relax. HOLLY: You know, you're bossy.

Merry Christmas. (CHUCKLES)

Happy Holidays.

Nice spread.

(CHUCKLES) Yes. (CHUCKLES)

MAN (OVER VIDEO): ... of your past, Scrooge.

(MAN SPEAKING IN GERMAN)

HOLLY: No, no. That's not what I said. Pay attention.

(KNOCKS) DESTINY: One second.

PAM-ANNE: Let me in. I don't know anybody here.

DESTINY: I need a minute!

(MAN LAUGHING)

(PACKAGE RUSTLES)

(LAUGHING)

MAN: Hey! Merry Christmas!

Oh, happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas! Oh, can I get the opener?

Oh, please! Yeah, help yourself!

Hey. You guys ready to go? Like this? Are you joking?

D'ANDRE: What? I haven't even showered.

I've gotta shave me legs.

LUCY: We'll follow you, okay?

Where you guys gonna go? Austin's Ale House.

LUCY: The only place that's open.

All right. Have a good night.

LUCY: We can catch up at the airport.

No, it's IROP. There's nothing they can do about it.

(SIGHS) Oh, I know.

Tell her, tell her, I'll be home soon, and Annie May, don't...

Some folks are going to a place called Austin's.

Okay. We should go!

It could be fun!

Hey, that's my bed.

Sorry.

JENNIE: I was gonna wrap it as soon as I got there.

Can you, can you do it?

Wrap it and hide it from him?

Why you locking up your rings?

We don't know who's here. It's New York City.

ROCHELLE: Yeah... (SCOFFS) I'm gonna steal your rings.

JENNIE: ... birthday paper and Christmas paper.

PAM-ANNE: I feel weird being here.

Can we please get a hotel room?

Or an Airbnb? No, Pam.

I'm not spending extra money after I've already paid for this.

DESTINY: Excuse me, do you know if all of these beds are taken?

Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry, they are.

Okay, well, you can have my bed, and I'll just take the couch.

No, you can take the bed. I'll take the couch.

You could at least pretend to fight me on that. Damn.

I'm gonna need you to be real quiet, ladies. Thank you.

(WHISPERS): I'm freezing... ROCHELLE: Shh!

MARTIN: But don't tell him. LAERKE: You should Google it.

MARTIN: I should... LAERKE: Yeah. No, it's serious.

I mean, the system crashed.

They wanted to books us like four to five to a room.

(SIGHS) f*ck me.

MARTIN: I swear, there were, like, six beds here when I texted.

It's fine. (SIGHS)

I can sleep on my yoga mat.

Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!

I've got some mulled wine for you ladies here.

Yes. Here you go. Cinnamon.

This is nuts! All the hotels are booked except Tr*mp.

What are you finding? I'm still looking.

MARTIN: How about you?

LAERKE: Sicily. Yoga retreat.

Oh! That's some Chopped sh*t!

I do my best with what I got, honey.

Ha, merry Christmas! Mm-hmm, merry Christmas!

I'm Pam, and this is my sister Destiny.

I'm Cesar. The two of you sisters?

That's so cute. Where's your wine?

Oh, no, love. I'm sober.

But I like to watch.

(LAUGHS) I got you. Mm-hmm.

So, where were you supposed to be today, Cesar?

Oh, I was supposed to fly to Nashville to see my boyfriend, Ephraim, but he got rerouted to Charlotte. It's a whole mess.

Aw!

Well, maybe you can get there tomorrow.

Oh, I don't know, honey, you know?

They're talking about winds all night and all morning, and more snow.

I-I just don't know.

Hey, let me get you some mulled wine.

Tell me your name again. JENNIE: No, no, I'm good.

Uh, Jennie. I'm Cesar.

f*ck it. I'll book the Tr*mp.

Don't judge me.

♪♪ ROCHELLE: I dump anything that goes to PSP.

Hey, no offense about that. Oh no, f*ck Palm Springs.

And he was putting Bailey's in his coffee.

Oh no. They did a Breathalyzer right on the jet bridge.

Oh, that's so stupid.

Austin's is closed.

It's the end of the bloody world out there.

I love your outfit, my God.

Thank you. I like it, too.

Ours is so boring. I wish we had something cute like a ribbon.

You really trying to tie your hair up in a ribbon every day?

Yes. (KALEN LAUGHING)

Hello. WOMAN: You look cute. Good luck to you too.

What's in here? It's a bedroom.

The lady who owns this apartment. Is she here?

KALEN: I mean, I've been here for a month and I ain't seen her yet.

Oh.

THE GUY: Did you see Chernobyl?

ILANA: I did. Really good show.

Yeah? It's very crazy that we almost f*cked up, like, almost everything in that one town.

I mean, they did f*ck up everything.

THE GUY: Yeah, but it... you know, like, nature still bounced back from Chernobyl, right?

We won't survive, but the Earth will.

Kind of beautiful, I guess.

It's very beautiful.

(TRADITIONAL CHINESE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

How are those working for you?

Um, yeah. I mean, so far so good.

It's, like, the best combo they've found for me, so...

Great. You do talk therapy with it, too?

Um, yeah. I still talk to the woman I was seeing in high school.

Really? On the phone.

That's very lucky, man.

I don't know if I would say I'm lucky.

I don't know, man.

If I had, like, a f*cking therapist in high school, I would've been... Not a stoner?

(INHALES) Uh...

Maybe so.

This soup is f*ckin' the sh*t.

Dude, this soup is f*ckin' awesome, right?

I mean, it's fine.

I like it. It's just, like, not the best I've ever had.

Well, give me top three soups. Go. Um... chicken noodle... Mm-hmm. matzo ball... That's basically chicken noodle, more or less. And then like egg drop, probably. I should've ordered that.

Maybe next time. I like a lentil soup. Next time.

Lentils make me gassy. Well... you got "lentil illness".

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) I'm sorry.

(PHONE BUZZING) Right.

Runs in the family.

Oh, speaking of, it's your dad.

Hello, Lewis. LEWIS (OVER PHONE): Hi. Stay on the line...

Hi, sorry about that.

THE GUY: Uh-huh. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

LEWIS: Why are you guys in Brooklyn Heights?

I thought you lived in Bedford-Stuyvesant.

Wait. Wait, hold on, hold on. Are you...

Are you f*cking tracking us, dude? Chill.

We're at dinner. Well, I just know you're always on the clock, so I don't know what you're doing.

You know, maybe, maybe you're working.

No, we're at dinner, dude. Okay, fine. I'm waiting on the phone with the airline, but I found a flight out of Newark at noon tomorrow, which I think I'm just...

No, please don't. Please stop. - So, I'm gonna book it, and I suggest you show up three hours early

- because I... Dude, no, no, no.

Stop, stop. First of all, you lost me at Newark.

And second, we can get there five hours early tomorrow, man.

It doesn't matter. The weather's all f*cked up.

We can't go anywhere. (LEWIS SIGHS)

You know, I-I can't say I'm comfortable with you guys staying at your place.

Why not? - Are you serious?

Do we need to talk about...

(GROANS)

What?

I didn't know we were at the Tom Petty concert again.

What? Who's Tom Petty?

You narced on me, bro.

ILANA: Oh, f*ck! f*ck! THE GUY: Oh, it's okay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. ILANA: No, oh my God.

It happens all the time. No, no, no. I can't.

(PATRONS CHATTERING)

THE GUY: ♪ Don't let the light go out ♪ ILANA: That is not helpful.

THE GUY: ♪ It's lasted for so many years ♪ (ILANA GROANS)

ELLIE: Is that the power out?

It is really coming down out there.

(PAM-ANNE GROANS)

ROCHELLE: Reminds me of spreading my mom's ashes.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(PHONE BLOOPS)

(MUFFLED CHATTER)

(ZIPPING)

(CHATTER, LAUGHTER) (KNOCKING SOFTLY)

D'ANDRE: I did not believe in Santa Claus.

We're Muslim, but, in all fairness, my mom put up a tree, a little, small, little tree, little Charlie Brown little... woo...

Oh!

My family is super Catholic and super strict.

I don't know them anymore.

But we always had a huge tree, and I would love to go to Christmas Eve service.

JENNIE: Mm. Mm-hmm.

I go to Hillsong...

Isn't that the Justin Bieber church?

Yes. He came to service once. KALEN: I don't "belieb".

But... but, I-I'm a Christian.

I'm on the path, but I don't respect what your family did to you, and I don't respect how people are treating you.

God is God.

Christians in the US, they don't believe in, um, science, right?

Science was my favorite subject in school.

(LAUGHS) Um, I just don't really talk about it with Caleb very much 'cause it's... he's very, um...

But climate change is not a hoax.

We are k*lling the planet. Girl, it's crazy.

We've got, like, what? Maybe 30 years left?

I think 20s. (MURMURING)

JENNIE: Yeah, and he eventually wants to have, like, several children, and I'm just, like... CESAR: What?

... I don't know how you could wanna bring a child into this world the way things are going.

HOLLY: The f*ck I'm bringin' a baby into this shite!

CESAR: Thank you. KALEN: That's right.

I mean, you basically enlisting your child into the water wars.

Nah, forget that. This world is f*cked. Yeah.

MAN: I am so glad I'm not a young person.

PAM-ANNE (SQUEALS): sh*t!

(CHATTERING STOPS) I think I got it!

(EXCITED CHATTERING) MAN: I've got dibs on the bed.

KALEN: Working over there the whole time!

I was wondering what happened to her.

Y'all not gonna have that lady mad... Wait, wait, wait.

(DOOR CREAKING)

(SCREAMING) What is that?!

HOLLY: Is that a doll? CESAR: That is some...

There we go! Look at that.

(EXCITED CHATTER)

This is nice! CESAR: What is that?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

CESAR: Girl, we don't want your soup.

♪♪

THE GUY AND ILANA: ♪ Baruch atah Adonai ♪

♪ Eloheinu melech ha'olam... ♪ I'm gonna go low. (IN BASS): ♪ Asher kid'shanu ♪

(ILANA LAUGHS)

BOTH: ♪ B'mitzvotav ♪

♪ V'tzivanu l'hadlik ner ♪

♪ Shel Hanukkah ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ Let's eat donuts ♪ (LAUGHS) I feel like we should wait 'cause what if we leave tomorrow...

Well, we might just have to eat donuts tomorrow, too.

Come sit soft.

Do you know that term, "sit soft"? ILANA: Yeah. Hey, bud.

THE GUY: You don't want yours?

Um... no. I'm okay.

You were in NFTY, right? Yeah.

And is it still just a...

Jewish hookup venue?

Um... (LAUGHS) I mean, NFTY wasn't that necessarily, but Birthright definitely was, like, just that. Wow. Did you?

Me? No.

No. No?

No. You know, I was supposed to go on Birthright.

Really? Did you... Why didn't you?

I don't know, man.

That plane ride, the politics.

You keep in touch with your friends from NFTY?

Uh, I didn't make any friends at NFTY.

I just went 'cause my mom and dad said I had to.

Yeah.

What about your friends from school?

Um... Do you still talk to them on, like, Instagram or whatever?

I don't use social media. Really?

That's impressive. I mean, I feel like I'm, like, messed up enough already, and social media would just make it worse.

You're not messed up. I-I have accepted that I am, and it's just, like, something that runs in our family.

It just sucks that I got stuck with the Uncle Jonah gene.

Oh, I thought I got stuck with the Uncle Jonah gene.

I think it's kind of bullshit, man.

Like, any time any person in the Mann family is going through a hard time... and all of a sudden, there's this boogeyman of Uncle Jonah and his mental illness that hangs over us and it makes us feel like what we're feeling is wrong.

Yeah. Everyone just says that I remind them of him.

I want you to eat that donut.

(LAUGHS)

I'll take a donut. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

I just... I feel like my parents are scared of me, and I don't even know what they would be scared of, but, eh...

Here's what I found in the past 15 years, since I've been gone.

Is that all of the people that our family said was weird, or, like, f*cked up, are just kind of normal people, and they just don't match with our family's version of normal.

You know? Yeah. Yeah.

They're very judgy.

Yeah.

Why do you think I said I worked at Vimeo for all those years?

Did you not? No!

(ILANA LAUGHS) No. I had a client who I used to deliver to who worked there, and I thought the building was cool, but no.

And guess what?

I'm f*ckin' good. I'm happy.

I really like what's going on.

(SIGHS) Until I tell anything about my actual life to those people, and then I'm made to feel like I'm not fine, and I'm told that I'm not fine.

Yeah, I can relate to that.

Yeah, I'm sure.

But you know what? There's nothing wrong with us.

We're not broken, and we don't need to be fixed.

We're all just, just trying to maintain, and we each got our own way of doin' it.

This is the most Hanukkah-Hanukkah I've ever had.

Look at all these f*cking candles.

It's like way too much Hanukkah.

"The Festival of Lights". (LAUGHS)

You ever listen to Adam Sandler?

I just love that song.

Like, he doesn't have anything else... Hmm.

... but he's so proud of his drumming... Mm.

... and they love his song.

PAM-ANNE: Yeah. Are you tearing up over "Little Drummer Boy"?

That's sweet. (HUMMING "SILENT NIGHT")

PAM-ANNE: Come on, it's Christmas. She loves it.

I just feel like if you're gonna meet Jesus, you know, learn how to play a lute or something.

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is... ♪ (HUMS)

PAM-ANNE: Friends! (LAUGHING)

Can I just say thank you for letting me crash at your crash pad.

I know I'm not one of you guys, but I just wanna say that if I'm ever on any one of your flights, then maybe you can hook a sister up?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Okay, it's still $20 for me.

(LAUGHTER, CHATTER) I need money.

PAM-ANNE: We were trying not to do Christmas this year.

My daughter, she's studying abroad. My... husband's not my husband anymore.

Oh, I'm sorry.

And Destiny never does anything nice for herself, so we said, why don't we go snorkel?

SYD: Yes! Go snorkel, bitch! (MURMURING APPROVAL)

MAN: Water wings on, girl.

CESAR: Don't scuba. So, God willing...

- Inshallah... (LAUGHTER)

'Cause you're Muslim.

... we will be on a plane tomorrow and go see about some fish.

Yes! Woo!

KALEN: I'll drink to that. HOLLY: Happy Christmas.

And I am gonna go see about a man!

(LAUGHTER) You didn't say that!

You didn't say that. MARTIN: He lives there?

He runs a diving school.

(EXCITED MURMURING) KALEN: He got money. He got money.

I'm sorry, what? (CHATTERING STOPS)

What?

We met on Instagram.

We've been DMing for a few months.

Is that why you wanted to go on this trip?

So you can meet some guy from Instagram?

Uh...

What did I do? CESAR: Nothing.

People get jealous when other people are having sex.

It happens to me all the time.

You know, I watched something, right, about these men, and they... and they claim to be veterans, and they, and they screw lonely women out of all their money.

LUCY: Yeah, I saw that.

You'll be snorkeling for catfish if you're not careful.

(LAUGHS) I'm only messing!

But he didn't ask you for any gift cards or anything, did he?

ROCHELLE: 'Cause that's a sign of a scam. (MURMURING)

(NOISY CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(CANS CLATTERING)

CESAR: Oh my God... HOLY: sh*t!

LUCY: Water? That's okay.

Water?

PAM-ANNE: Who's he? ELLIE: I don't know.

He just walked in and asked me for a coffee. That's my bed.

Oh... Trash?

(CANS RATTLING)

(DOOR CREAKS)

_

_

_

(PHONE BLOOPS)

(INHALES)

(EXHALES)

(PHONE BLOOPS)

_

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

(DOOR OPENS)

(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) Hello?

I'm sorry, I don't have a place to go.

Shh! (WHISPERING): Oh, uh...

I don't have a place to go because when you said I could stay here, then I sublet my room.

I would hate to, like, put him out. It's okay.

I just don't want to interrupt on your family time.

Ah, it's fine.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Holly jolly.

Hm, hm, hm.

(COUGH) So, you got a flight tomorrow or something?

(INHALES) No. We couldn't get one, so we're gonna leave in a couple days, but you can still stay here.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

I don't wanna go.

So don't go. (THE GUY SNORTS)

Hmm.

I guess I could do anything.

CHAD: Sure.

CORA: ♪ We make joy ♪

♪ Now, in this fest ♪

♪ In quo... ♪

♪ Jesus ♪

♪ Natus est... ♪ Oh, no.

I can't sing that one with you. Oh!

Aya! (LAUGHING)

Medieval.

Medieval.

DESTINY: Hi. Merry Christmas.

DESTINY: Merry Christmas. Thanks for the cigarette.

CORA: Oh, better you than me.

(PAM-ANNE LAUGHS) Look, if you burn this building down...

I'm not gonna burn the building down.

It's too cold out. Where'd you get that coat, and that hat? Upstairs.

Okay, well, we need to get that back up there.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him.

It's okay.

I'm sorry I reacted that way.

It's just, uh, (SIGHS)...

It's been hard.

I know.

It's been real hard. I'm having a hard time.

And it's Christmas. I know.

You should meet him. (CHUCKLES)

No. I probably shouldn't.

And he did get a gift card out of me.

He's not the reason why I was excited about the trip.

I'm pregnant. What?

When did you find out? (SIGHS)

Just now. I just took the test.

Oh my God!

Shh! (LAUGHING): Yes!

God, I didn't know you were trying!

Well, we weren't really.

(LAUGHS) I'm so happy for you!

(LAUGHS)

I'll have to stop working. Good!

You work too much. And they were all talking about bringing babies into the world and how everything's about to be on fire... Oh, honey, burn up with that baby.

(LAUGHING)

So, did you tell Kirk?

No, I'll... I'll call him in the morning.

Wait. You told me first?

(SIGHS)

Wow. (LAUGHS)

This is such an exciting time.

When you first find out, it's...

(HYDRAULIC HISSING) (SCREAMING)

Jesus! Okay, wait! ("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYING)

See? I just, uh... Oh! My nerves...

(SIGHS) DESTINY: I can't with this building.

I need to get out of here. SANTA: Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho, ho!

THE GUY: Okay, okay, okay.

All right, all right, all right, I did it.

I gave up my seat. Told them I'm having a personal emergency, so, you know, the truth. Someone is absolutely gonna call me out for this vest.

Dude, it's kosher. She's registered to you.

All right. Don't stress.

I mean, I'm stressed that you haven't picked anywhere yet.

That's part of the fun.

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

Oh, what about Tokyo?

It's pretty cold there. I feel like you'd need to buy, like, way warmer clothes than you brought.

Yeah, I think I want somewhere warm.

Yeah. Uh, I mean, you should definitely stay somewhere south of the equator then.

(GASPS)

New Zealand!

Mordor!

Wow. That's awesome.

Okay, this is a very expensive and long 30-hour trip.

Just do it. You know what? Thirty-hour trip.

I will give you some Klonopin, and then you can watch, like, 20 movies, or however f*cking long that is, and eat some Chex Mix, and then at the end of the 20 movies, you'll be there.

Okay. Here you go.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna get on the next flight to Auckland.

You should do it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Aw yeah.

MAN (OVER PA): Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. At this time, we'll begin boarding American flight...

All right, baby. Come on, Fomo. THE GUY: Let's go.

Good girl!

(ANNOUNCEMENT CONTINUES INDISTINCT)

Well, baby. (SIGHS)

Have fun out there.

It's just gonna be a couple weeks, okay?

You're gonna see her again.

I know. I'm just getting used to this joint custody thing.

Take care of that eye, please, 'cause if that eye goes... Yes.

... it's all over. Right. Fair enough.

I had fun. That was fun. (FOMO WHINES)

Yeah, it was.

(BARKING) Aw, you ready to go, girl?

Don't you forget about me.

Don't, don't, don't. Well, thank you for this, seriously.

For real, thanks. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'll talk to you.

All right, Fomo. Okay.

Bye, Uncle Rufus.

Bye, Ilana. Come on.

Bye, Fomo.

(MAN SPEAKING OVER PA INDISTINCTLY)

We are now inviting those passengers with small children and any passengers requiring...

(SIGHS)

Please have your boarding pass and identification ready.

Regular boarding will begin in approximately 10 minutes' time.

Thank you.

("STATE OF INDEPENDENCE" BY JON & VANGELIS PLAYING)

♪♪

♪ State of life, may I live? May I love? ♪

♪ Coming out the sky, I name me a name ♪

♪ Coming out silver word for what it is ♪

♪ It is the very nature of the sound the game ♪

♪ Siamese, Indionese, to Tibet ♪

♪ Treat the life as a game if you please ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Coming up, Carabi, sense of freedom ♪

♪ Derives from a meditative state ♪

♪ Moving on, believe, that's it, call it magic ♪

♪ Third world it is, I only guessed it ♪

♪ Shablam idi, shablam Ida ♪

♪ Shablam idi, shablam Ida ♪

♪ Shablam idi, shablam Ida ♪

♪ sh*t to the soul, the flame of Oroladin ♪

♪ The essence of the word, the state of independence ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

♪♪