08x11 - Oni Kalalea Ke Ku A Ka La'au Loa (A Tall Tree Stands Above the Others)

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Hawaii Five-O:

Wearing that suit in here does not guarantee your protection.

Don't worry about me.

Worry about him.

You remember me, Detective Williams?

Oh, I don't know who you are. Should I know who you are?

Danny! Danny!

Who is that guy? Who is he?

We need to get him into the O.R. now, or we are gonna lose him.

It was, uh, touch and go for a while, but, uh... he pulled through.

Yes!

He's gonna be okay.

You get anything on the gunman? Nothing.

All right.

I baked the special Christmas cookies.

No snooping, please. I wasn't snooping.

No? Okay.

All right, so these are very, very, very hot.

Do not touch them. You will burn your face off.

All right? But you can help me blow on them.

Uh, because I got a little jam-up on my right side here, and I can't blow so well, so... why don't you do that for me?

Thank you.

Thanks.

How we doing over there?

Actually, I think we're done.

Yeah? Yeah.

Are you positive that Santa Claus can get through that chimney?

Yeah, I am happy to report the Williams' chimney is now ready for entry.

No chance Santa gets stuck tonight.

In fact, he might bring a couple reindeer down with him. That is fantastic.

Isn't it? What do you say to...

What do you say to Uncle Adam?

Thank you, Uncle Adam.

You are very welcome.

All right, chimney's good.

Cookies. What are we missing? What are we missing?

Um, Santa's special plate.

That's right. Go get it.

Thank you very much.

He, uh... he gets a big kick out of all this.

Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna let you climb up there.

I don't even know why you're out of bed.

How's your chest feeling, by the way?

I'm... I'm fine, I'm fine.

It's not... doesn't even hurt.

He's, uh, curious, but I didn't tell him what happened, because he worries, so just don't say anything.

I don't think you would, but, anyway...

Got it. Yeah.

They-they, uh, have any luck I.D.'ing the sh**t yet?

No, nothing.

All right, what, uh... what are you... what are you doing tonight?

I'm just going home to pack.

Uh, I'm meeting Kono in L.A., and, uh, my flight leaves at the cr*ck of dawn.

Well, then extra special thank you for doing this.

It's nothing. Hey, hey, hey.

What, you think I didn't see that?

You gotta test 'em out, right? Quality control?

All right. Put the, uh, cookies on the plate.

Let's go. Get 'em ready.

Three, four. That's good enough.

He's getting big. Go ahead.

Put it over there by the chimney, and, uh, I'll be in your room and read you a story in a minute.

How about right there?

Say good night to Uncle Adam, too.

Good night, Uncle Adam.

Merry Christmas, Charlie.

Want a cookie?

No, I'm good. You're good?

I gotta ask-- what-what happens to those?

Oh, I eat them, leave the crumbs.

He thinks Santa ate them.

Believe me, you'll do the same thing with your kids.

Yeah, I look forward to that someday.

Yeah.

All right, I'll leave you to it.

Hey, what, uh, story you gonna read him tonight?

Oh, I don't know. Uh, I usually do, like, the traditionals, like the Grinch and the normal stuff.

But I want to mix it up tonight, I think.

All right. Right? Hey.

Hey. Have a safe flight.

Merry Christmas, buddy.

Tell Kono hello, please. Will do.

What's up, buddy?

Which one should we do first?

I don't know. Let's see.

Let's see what you got.

That's a good one.

These are all good ones, but I was thinking maybe, um, we do a... a special story.

A real special story that nobody... nobody in the history of the world has ever heard before.

You'd be the first. What do you think? Really?

What kind of story is it? It's a... it's a crazy, mixed-up, uh, insane story that'll make you feel good inside because it is a Christmas miracle.

You, uh, interested in that sort of thing?

Yes. Okay, so... it was, uh... it was Christmastime on Oahu, and everybody... everybody had the holiday spirit going on.

Especially this one jolly fella in a red suit.

Merry Christmas!

Mahalo.

Happy holidays.

Merry Christmas.

May God bless you.

Mahalo.

Ho ho ho!

Happy holidays.

Oh. Hey, buddy, you forgot this one.

Peace be with you.

Merry Christmas.

Wait a second.

Why does Santa have a phone?

Well, 'cause he's, uh, not the real Santa.

He's like a fugazi Santa.

Okay? He's a naughty Santa.

He's a bad Santa.

And he wasn't even using the phone to make a real phone call.

Go, go, go, go, go! - Why were the bad guys dressed like Santa?

What happened to all the money?

Did the bad Santas get away?

Okay, these are good questions, and I am gonna answer all of them, but first we need to settle in because this story is just getting started.

[Hawaii Five-O theme song plays]

♪
See that?

Looks like Santa's right over New Jersey right now.

That's good news.

Is he gonna visit Aunt Bridget?

Yeah, he's gonna visit Aunt Bridget.

He's gonna do that. He's gonna do that.

He's a big guy, but he's very fast.

He's gonna visit Aunt Bridget, and then he's gonna come make his way over here, so we gotta get this story going, don't we?

What happened after the bad guys robbed the truck?

Well, uh... oh, I made a mista...

I forgot, I gotta go backwards.

There's characters in this story that I want to introduce you to that I forgot.

Is that all right? Who?

Who? Who? I'll tell you who, my little owl.

Um, they are, uh, people.

Here's a hint, by the way.

They're people that are going to feed other people, bring food to other people that are very hungry at a place called a shelter.

Why would they do something like this?

They're the good guys.

Yes, of course they're the good guys.

That's my man. Good guess.

You guys should grab your coffees before it gets cold.

Hey, thanks for picking these up. Yeah.

It's not so much fun being with Kekoa before he's had his caffeine.

Bite me, Frank.

See?

Hey. What's taking so long to get there?

It's the parade. Traffic's jacked up.

Parades.

Another reason why I hate holidays.

Come on, Josie.

Where's your Christmas spirit?

Get off my case.

I ordered a peppermint latte.

That's about as yuletide as I get.

Who ordered the mocha-chino?

Right here.

Yo, Henry, you didn't order nothing?

So these good guys-- right?-- are, uh, veterans.

Do you know what veterans are?

Uh, no.

Veterans are people, uh... men and women that spend their whole lives making sure that this country is a safe place.

Pretty cool, huh?

Like you, Danno. Yeah, just like me, but these people... these people are, like, real, real, like, heroes.

You know, like, American heroes?

And, coincidentally, the person that they were gonna meet up with later, he is also a hero-- kind of.

Junior, slight change in plans.

Everything okay, Commander? Uh, everything's fine.

I'm still gonna meet you at the shelter, but listen, my sister and niece just arrived in town, and I'm not gonna miss a chance to put that little girl on my shoulders at this parade, okay?

Yeah, I understand, sir.

Thanks, buddy.

They don't get out here very often.

Commander?

Commander, everything okay?

Junior, I gotta call you back.

Uh-oh.

"Uh-oh" is right. Our hero guy is about to run into these bad Santa Claus.

This is no good. This is a tragedy waiting to happen, don't you think?

He should've called the police.

Of course he should've called the police, like a normal person would, but this isn't a normal person, and on top of everything else, this guy is a cop.

And he's a good person-- kind of.

Anyway, that's not the point.

He-- this cop-- went after these guys.

He even left his g*n in his car, 'cause he didn't want to bring his g*n to the parade.

He went after these guys without a g*n.

- Wait. - "Wait" what?

Why did the man in the truck give the crazy man his g*n?

He didn't want it anymore?

No, he wanted it. He just... he decided that he thought the crazy man should have the g*n so he could after the bad guys.

You know what I mean? Okay.

All right, so wait. Hold on. So this is the crazy part.

Hey! Five-O!

Wouldn't you know it?

Bad guys ran out of gas.

They should've filled it up before.

Of course they should've filled it up before-- like smart people-- but they're not very smart people, right?

Anyway, our cop-- our crazy guy-- he goes and tries to get them to give up.

Bang, bang! Bang, bang!

Is the crazy guy Uncle Steve?

Now, let me ask you a question. What gave it away, the "crazy man" part or the "policeman" part?

♪

Oh, no!

What's the matter, buddy? What's the problem?

How's Uncle Steve gonna find the bad guys?

Okay.

Let's go back. Remember what I told you what kind of story this is?

A miracle? That's right.

It's a Christmas miracle, all right?

So don't worry about nothing. Everything's gonna be okay.

All right?

Danno, are miracles real?

Are miracles real?

What am I doing here? What am I talking...?

I'm telling you a story about a miracle right now.

Anybody ever tells you that miracles aren't real, I want you to tell them this story as proof that miracles do happen, okay?

So the bad guys, they come crashing through the crowd, and they're saying, "Everybody down! Everybody out of the way, out of the way, out of the way!"

And they're running really fast.

This one's fast. This one's faster.

They're both fast. Then you got Steve.

And this is Uncle Steve.

Doesn't this look like Uncle Steve?

No. It doesn't?

I think it does. Maybe it's 'cause I know him better than you do. Anyway... these guys, they feel that they're being followed, so one of 'em goes this way, the other goes this way.

Steve-- the donkey-- he's gotta make a choice, right?

He's gotta choose who to follow, right?

Can't follow them both. He's gotta pick one.

And did he catch 'em?

Sort of.

Stop! Freeze.

Drop the sack.

Hands behind your head.

Interlock your fing...

Back off!

Put the g*n on the ground.

All right, all right. All right.

Now lie down on the ground.

Pick up the sack.

Okay, so I know exactly what you're thinking-- why would Uncle Steve get down on the floor?

I mean, why wouldn't he just chase the bad Santa?

But the truth of the matter is there were people everywhere, right?

And he didn't want anybody to get hurt.

So he was just following instructions.

He got down, and he unfortunately had to let one of the Santas go.

But why would he...

Hey, let me ask you a question. Did you, uh... did you brush your teeth after you ate that cookie?

No. I didn't think so.

Danno, how come Uncle Steve's friends didn't help him?

That's a very good question.

Uh, the answer is that they were, uh... they were very busy doing very important stuff.

Like, work stuff-- you know what I mean? Come on.

♪

♪ I ought to say, "No, no, no, sir" ♪

♪ Mind if I move in closer?

♪ At least I'm gonna say that I tried ♪

♪ What's the sense in hurting my pride? ♪

♪ I really can't stay ♪

♪ Oh, baby, don't hold out ♪

♪ Oh, but it's cold outside. ♪ Hey, Cortana, pause.

Why'd you do that? It was good.

It was good, but you're doing the whole thing wrong, Jerry.

You're supposed to be singing the Dean Martin part.

Well, this is more my register.

Jerry, if you don't sing the Dean Martin part, then the whole damn thing is ass backwards.

Then it's like, uh, she's trying to seduce you instead of the other way around.

Feels good to be desired sometimes.

By a machine?

Wait, don't answer that.

Guys, there was an armored car heist a few minutes ago, and it happened right by the parade.

Wait, isn't McGarrett supposed to be at that parade with-with Mary and Joanie?

Yeah. I'm trying to call his cell.

He's not answering. Well, let's ping his cell.

He's on the move.

That means he's in pursuit. Let's go.

Hey. Hey.

Are you okay? Yeah, I think so.

Can you sit up? Yeah.

You okay? Yeah.

Where'd he go? Over there.

Okay, listen to me.

I'm gonna get help, okay? You stay right here.

All right. Okay.

Okay, so... we got the bad guys hiding in the mall, right?

Clear on that. Steve, he knows this.

Right? He's very aware of this.

He doesn't want 'em to get away. The mall's a big place.

So he has the police show up... surround the place like that.

What about Uncle Steve's friends?

They came. They showed up. Bang.

Jerry, are you sure they're still in there?

Affirmative. I'm looking at street-cam footage from about ten minutes ago.

I got Santa releasing a female hostage onto King Street.

Then I pick up the same guy on a different camera a few minutes later.

He meets up with the other Santa, and they enter the mall.

All right, tell me you can pull the cameras inside this mall. Uh, pulling it up now.

All right, good. See if you can get eyes on our suspects and get back to me, all right?

We need a plan.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

We shut the place down, do a store-to-store search.

No, no, no. These guys are armed, all right?

And they have shown they are not afraid to use those weapons, regardless of civilian casualty.

We go in there snooping around, they see us, we end up with a hostage situation or, worse yet, a firefight inside a crowded mall at Christmastime.

What do you want to do, then?

Write a letter to Santa Claus, tell him to put 'em on the naughty list unless they give themselves up?

That's very funny. We have a tactical advantage.

They don't know we tracked 'em to this mall.

Right, so we go into the mall as civilians-- no g*ns, no badges-- and we catch them by surprise?

Exactly. All right, I'm with it.

Let's make it happen. I got gifts to wrap.

Junior, what are you doing here?

When I didn't hear back from you, I called Jerry, and he let me know what was going on, and I came here as fast as I could, and I brought some backup.

Everyone, meet Kekoa, Reggie, Frank, Josie.

And that's, uh, Henry.

Sir, these guys want to help out, and I think, with their skills and experience, they could prove useful.

Reporting for duty, Commander.

So they went into the mall?

Yeah, they went into the mall, but there was a problem, you see, because the mall is a very, very big place.

Right? And Steve could not search the place all by himself, so, uh, lucky for him, his friends showed up to help him, along with, uh, some angels.

Real angels?

Yeah, of course real angels.

I told you, this is a Christmas miracle.

I have all the respect in the world for retired service people, but I-I don't know if this is the situation...

Excuse me, sir.

Major Frank Bella, 3rd Brigade, Ivy Division.

I used to work in this mall a few years back.

Place is so big, I got lost on my first day.

I don't see how any of that information helps us.

Point being, you could use a guy inside who knows his way around.

I don't disagree with you there, Major, but the thing is we got hostiles in there, they're armed, extremely dangerous, and I'm just not prepared to put more civilians in harm's way.

HM-1 Josie Ackerman, 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine.

All due respect, Commander, all of us here have taken fire behind enemy lines.

You really think we can't handle a couple of Santas... sir?

I think, you know, she had a point.

Couple of rotten Santas were nothing compared to the bad guys that she was used to fighting when she was a soldier, right?

And Frank, Frank, he-he knows his way around the mall.

Right? And Steve knew that.

He's kind of intelligent.

He realized that Frank could be helpful.

Right? All of them could be helpful.

So he decided to let them help.

The vets-- are they the angels?

What do you think?

Mm-hmm. That's right.

'Cause you're very smart.

Very clever.

Mommy tells me that all the time.

She says I get it from her.

She does?

She's right. You do.

You get it from her.

Anyway, uh, Jerry and Steve had to have a, uh, phone conversation.

Got 'em. Santas are on level two.

It looks like they're heading into that department store.

You got cameras inside of that department store? Checking.

They're not online. It must be closed-circuit.

All right, keep an eye on the exits.

Let me know if they go back out.

Oh, and one more thing.

Looks like Adam's in the mall.

Our Adam? Adam Noshimuri?

Yeah, I guess he's doing some last-minute shopping.

All right, get in touch with him.

Let him know what's going on.

Have him stand by in case we need his help.

Roger.

All right, here's what's gonna happen.

Now, Junior, you're gonna take the vets, you guys are gonna clear the department store, but you're gonna do it stealthy, you're gonna do it quiet, you're gonna make sure nobody panics.

Lou, TANI, let's go get some bad guys.

We got a little bit of an emergency.

♪

♪

They ditched their costumes.

Great.

Now our two suspects look like everyone else in this mall.

Okay, we're good. Milk's all set.

Cookies are still there. If he would've showed up, we would've heard him, right?

I saw that.

No, please, Danno, I want to hear what happened to the bad guys.

Come on, come on, come on. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Get in there. Come on.

Okay, so if you remember correctly, the bad Santas, they've taken off their costumes, so now they look like everybody else in the mall, right?

Right?

How's Uncle Steve gonna catch them?

Well, that's a good question, but Uncle Steve, he had some ideas, you know?

That's a lot of stuff you've got there.

Will that be cash or credit?

Neither.

Here you go, kid. Five-O discount.

We'll be back. Come on. - They stole it?

Well, no, these are good guys we're talking about, so they don't steal; they borrow.

They just borrowed it so that they could set up a... a checkpoint.

What's a checkpoint?

A checkpoint is, uh, basically how you catch bad guys, um... when you don't know what they look like.

No, that doesn't make any sense.

Okay, here it is. Steve-- he called all the people in the mall, and he said, "Get out of the mall.

Quick, everybody get out of the mall."

All the shoppers gotta get out of the mall.

On the way out, the good guys will check their I.D.'s.

Their identification says who they are.

And what you do is you take that identification and you run it against, um... uh, a list-- like, a bad-guy list.

And if you do something bad, you end up on this list.

A naughty list, like Santa's?

That's exactly what it is.

Uh, and Jerry-- Uncle Jerry, coincidentally, he had one of these lists.

Okay, Lou, I'm ready on this end.

Stand by, Jerry.

Ladies and gentlemen, please have your I.D.'s out.

This is Special Operator Kekoa Maki.

Who am I speaking to?

This is Special Consultant Jerry Ortega.

All right, Special Consultant Ortega, we're gonna have to run these checks fast, or we'll be looking at one hell of a bottleneck here.

You ready to patch me into your system?

Aye, sir.

You a Navy boy, Ortega?

Uh, no.

What branch were you with?

No branch.

You've never been in uniform?

Outside of high school marching band... no.

All right.

Well, you sound like good people.

I'm glad we're in the trenches together.

Stand by. I'm sending you a secure link.

Of course, that's a relative term when you're used to uplinking with Milstar satellites.

Whoa. You were a comms specialist?

Yes, sir.

7th Infantry in Afghanistan.

I used to have to do this stuff on the scramble so the enemy couldn't lock onto my signal, take me and my boys out with an aerial strike.

Wow.

Well, thank you for your service.

And for helping us out today.

Oh, no need to thank me, man.

I'm just glad to be back in the saddle again.

All right, Ortega, let's catch some bad guys.

Ready.

What about the other angels?

Were they helping? Of course they were helping.

They were helping a lot.

This one guy Henry, he had a very important job.

His job was to try to find out who the Santas were-- the bad Santas-- when they weren't in costume.

When they had their costumes off.

Like a secret identity for a superhero?

Yeah, uh... pretty much like that, but for a supervillain, right?

Henry, he went all the way back to where the truck was robbed.

You remember that? Mm-hmm.

Where the truck was robbed? And he was looking for clues.

He served in Iraq.

Munitions expert.

Then you can bet he knows what he's doing.

Let's hope he finds something.

CSU's come up empty with the armored car and the getaway vehicle.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Could you pick this up for me? Sure.

You think that's part of the b*mb?

Could be. I figure this is the edge of the blast radius, based off the amount of C4 they used, judging from the damage it caused.

You can tell all that just by looking at that truck?

You know, um, my father served, too.

See any action?

Yeah.

First Gulf w*r.

But he really... he didn't like to talk about it.

Listen, um, I-I just want to say...

I'm really sorry about what happened to you.

Thanks, but I'm not.

I'd do it again.

Saved a lot of lives that day.

Truth is, I'd go back if they'd let me.

Really?

Even after...

You can only lose your legs once.

Can you look under that truck for me?

That may have capped the housing to the expl*sive.

Plastic's light and durable enough, it could be blown clear without much damage.

Shape it's in, you might be able to get a print.

Check.

That is a fingerprint.

Whoa.

That's from my finger?

Yeah, that's from your finger. Check it out.

Here's the thing.

Everybody in the world has fingerprints.

But that one specific fingerprint on that glass could've only come from one person.

Me? Yeah, you.

So, basically, if you got the right technology and you got a fingerprint, you'll be able to find exactly who you're looking for, 'cause you know exactly who made that print.

So that's how you found the bad Santa's secret identity.

Yeah.

All right, guys, this is our primary.

His name is James Wendall.

35-year-old Caucasian male, six-foot-one, medium build, multiple felony convictions.

All right? Now, we know him as one of our Santas, but he's ditched his costume.

Jerry's gonna send this picture to all of our phones.

Uh, my phone don't do pictures.

Don't worry about it, Frank. It's all right.

We're gonna be breaking up into teams.

All right, Reggie, you're gonna go with Junior.

Josie, you're going with Adam.

Hey, Josie. Adam Noshimuri.

Hey. You Five-O?

No, just a guy who has a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And, Frank, you're gonna be with me, okay?

Yes, sir. You're gonna show me every nook and cranny of this mall. All right?

Every alcove, every janitor's closet, every secret little cubbyhole that you and your boys ever snuck a smoke break in.

All right?

Done. Good.

These guys may have ditched their costumes, but they have not ditched their weapons.

Especially Wendall. He's armed. He's extremely dangerous.

So under no circumstances should you engage.

If you guys get a visual on this guy, you let me know, and Five-O handles it.

Everybody clear? Understood, Commander.

All right, let's move out.

Okay, so now the search was on.

Right? Now that the good guys knew exactly what the bad Santa looked like with the costume off, Uncle Steve and all the angels, they were ready to search the entire mall.

Meanwhile, Kekoa and Jerry were checking their naughty list to make sure no bad guys had left the mall.

But the Santas had one more trick up their sleeves.

Josie.

Is that blood?

Yeah, it's dried.

But only recently.

Wait. You hear that?

Adam, what do you got?

We just found two men tied up in a janitor's closet.

Turns out they work here at the mall as Santas.

They just told us they were on break when they were approached by two guys and forced at gunpoint to hand over their costumes.

Wait a minute, you telling me that the costumes we found in that dressing room were put there to throw us off?

Which means our suspects are most likely still dressed as Santas.

Right in the camera there, Santy Claus.

He's good.

Okay, Jon Banks, you're good to go.

Don't forget to put me on the nice list.

Merry Christmas.

All right, looks good. Looks like, uh, Santa's reindeer are just about to leave the West Coast.

Which means we'd better get going.

Because if he gets here and we are not asleep, what's gonna happen?

He won't bring me any more presents.

Yeah, that's right, but-but we don't have to worry about that because the story is coming to a close very soon, okay?

What happened to the bad Santas? Did they get away?

Well, kind of. Yes and no.

You see, 'cause Steve had called down to the checkpoint, and he said, "Do not, under any circumstances, let any of those Santa Clauses get through the checkpoint."

But they had already kind of let somebody through.

Right? But then they realized their mistake right away, so it was okay.

Hey! Hey, Santy Claus.

Come here. Let me talk to you for a second.

Ah, big mistake, pal.

Santa's on the move.

What about the person that got pushed to the ground? Were they okay?

Yeah, they were okay. That's a very good question.

The reason they were okay is 'cause one of the angels was an expert in dealing with injuries.

You're gonna be okay, sir.

It's my shoulder.

Yeah, it's dislocated.

Are you sure?

Listen, I was a medic with the Marines.

Which means I've heard every cuss word you can think of. Used 'em all, too.

So don't feel the need to hold back on my account.

What are you talking...?

What about the other Santa?

Was he still hiding in the mall?

He was hiding in the mall.

And Uncle Steve was sick and tired of chasing the guy, so he decided to call him.

How does he know his phone number?

He didn't need his phone number

'cause he used a different form of calling.

James Wendall... we have your partner.

We've evacuated the mall and have it surrounded.

Your only option is to surrender.

Show yourself with your hands raised above your head.

You got 60 seconds.

Guys, I got eyes on Santa.

Repeat-- target spotted, heading west on level two.

Suspect now ducking into the stairwell on the southwest side.

I got no coverage in there.

Southwest stairwell.

You know where he's going?

That stairwell's got roof access.

From there, it's a short jump over to the top level of the parking garage next door.

Can you get me to that stairwell?

I can do better than that.

I know a shortcut that'll put you on that roof a lot faster.

Steve was really lucky.

He was really lucky that Frank knew the mall so well.

But they had one little problem

'cause they had to use a shortcut, and at the end of that shortcut, there was an elevator that they had to use, and the elevator had been locked from before, when they had to evacuate the mall.

Could they take a different shortcut?

There was no other shortcuts.

They didn't have time.

Danno, the bad guys are gonna get away.

Well, they might have, but the angels had one more miracle left. You remember Reggie?

The man with the metal arm?

That's right. Reggie with the metal arm.

You're not gonna believe what this guy was able to do with that arm.

Thanks, Reggie.

Go get 'em, Commander.

Did Uncle Steve catch up to the bad guys?

He did.

But, unfortunately, the bad guy was there waiting for him.

You see, the bad guy knew that Uncle Steve was coming, and he wanted to be ready.

Buddy?

I'm coming under there.

Hey. What are you doing under here, buddy?

I'm scared the bad guys are gonna get Uncle Steve.

Let me ask you a question.

You think I would tell you a story that's got miracles and angels that doesn't have a happy ending?

No. All right, then.

So, can we get out of here?

No.

Well, we can stay here if you want.

We can finish the story under here.

That what you want?

Yes.

What happened next?

Well, Steve and the bad guy, they started to talk.

And talk and talk and talk. You know Uncle Steve-- he likes to talk and talk and talk and talk until he gets his way?

No. Well, that's... that's how he is.

He likes to argue. He loves to argue.

He's never met an argument he didn't like.

So he started arguing with this bad guy.

And he started talking so much, so much that the bad guy got so bored listening to Steve's big mouth that he just fell right asleep.

The end.

See?

Told you-- it wasn't so scary, was it?

Danno, why do people do bad things?

Well, I don't know, buddy. That's a good question.

I mean, I guess just, uh, there's some people out there that kind of... they're kind of bad.

You know? But there's also really, really good people.

And in this story, some of the good people, they all got together.

♪ Just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling... ♪ Who's a good boy?

Eddie's a good boy.

He's a good boy.

Aw, yeah.

Don't bite.

Sucker. Aw...

Please don't tell anybody this.

Mm-hmm.

Making out with my dog there?

Yeah, you want kisses?

Merry Christmas, buddy.

Merry Christmas, brother.

How you guys doing? Doing good.

You're good? You good for drinks?

All set. All right, good.

Good, good, good.

Noelani, you look nice.

Oh, thank you, Commander.

Oh, it's like a little Christmas gift.

Yeah. I like your hat, but I think you forgot the rest of the costume.

I'm pretty sure Steve's seen enough Santa Claus costumes for one day. Thank you.

Thank you, Duke. Yeah, I think I will be leaving those honors to somebody else later on in the night.

Time to suit up, big guy.

Anything for the keikis.

Showtime, cuz.

Yo. I'm going in.

Okay, buddy. What's up? Hey.

I got a favor to ask.

Uh, you know, last year, the guy that, uh, came over and did the chimney - Yeah. Santa thing for Charlie?

You remember? Yeah, you asking if I can get him to come back out again? I know it's last minute, but... No, don't worry.

Yeah? If he can't swing by, I'm sure I can find someone.

My man.

Thank you.

Hey, excuse me, everybody. Uh...

Um, hey, come on in here a little...

Yeah, come on in, guys. Grab your drinks.

Hey, listen, I just want to thank all you guys for coming out tonight.

Okay? It means a lot to me.

And, uh, look, if we look around the room right now, there's a lot of familiar faces in here.

But also gonna see a bunch of new faces, okay?

And to the first-timers at the, uh, famous Steve and Eddie McGarrett's Christmas Bash, on behalf of all of us, our deepest gratitude to you guys.

Not just for what happened today, but for all of your personal sacrifices-- all right, defending this country that we all love.

So thank you very much.

It's our honor to call you guys 'ohana now.

So welcome, and merry Christmas.

Hear, hear.

And another beer.

All right.

Commander. Hmm?

Hey, thank you for that. No, Junior.

Thank you, buddy. If you hadn't have showed that initiative today, we probably wouldn't have caught those bad guys.

I'm always happy to lend a hand.

Yeah, I know you are.

That's why I got a little something for you.

I-I'm sorry.

I didn't realize we were exchanging gifts.

No, we're not. It's not a gift.

A gift is, uh... a gift's charity.

This is something you earn.

Oh, for real?

No, I'm kidding. What do you think?

Yeah, for real. Come on.

But, um... HPD training--

I-I haven't finished the course yet. You didn't finish...?

Thought you guys told me he... he finished the course. This is... Come on.

Listen, you will finish the course, all right?

But over the last couple of months, you've proven to me, you've proven to all of us that you're more than ready for that.

So merry Christmas and welcome aboard.

Thank you, sir.

Junior!

Hey, man. It's heavier than you thought it was gonna be, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, it is.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Welcome to Five-O. Oh, thank you.

Congratulations there, kiddo.

Thank you, Captain. You know you ain't getting paid, right?

No. Okay, long as you know.

Congratulations, my guy.

Thanks, man.

Thank you.

And there you have it.

Happy ending, just like I promised, right?

Yo, why you gotta hold out on me with these cookies?

Why wouldn't you tell me about these?

These are shockingly good. You don't tell me about these?

I don't know why that's shocking.

I'm a fantastic baker.

You bake these? Yeah, I baked those.

Do me a favor-- next time you steal, just...

Wait, wait, wait. What'd you just say? "Steal"?

I didn't steal anything. You didn't?

They're sitting right there.

For Santa Claus. They're sitting right there for Santa Claus, not for you.

Okay?

I hope you're proud of yourself. You stole cookies from Santa Claus, animal. Okay, all right.

Let me... let me explain something to you.

All right? Please, explain something to me, because I need things explained to me.

If Santa Claus... Uh-huh.

...got his big, fat sausage fingers on these cookies, that means he would be guilty of a home invasion.

You ever think about that? What about you?

You just broke into my house. Did you think about that?

No, I didn't think about it, but you just broke into my house.

No, I didn't break into your house. Yes, you did.

I used the key that's behind the rock that you leave outside behind the rock that you put there for emergencies.

What's the emergency?

I needed some cookies.

Uh-huh.

Now I'm eating cookies.

What are you doing?

I can't have one of my cookies?

Yes, you can. You can have the top cookie.

No, now that you touched it...

I didn't touch it. I'm touching the bottom cookie.

Your finger is on a piece of this...

It literally... It doesn't even matter. The truth of the matter is I have a whole tray of cookies that I can have for myself with my own milk.

Where are they? In the kitchen.

Go get 'em. I'm gonna.

Good, Grinch. I'm... I'm a Grinch?

You're kind of Grinchy. You're a gorilla.