04x06 - Adelante

[bunniefuu]

What an absolute triumph of an evening, ladies, seriously.

You talked about your launch party !

I have so many ideas, okay...

- I'll put my number in your phone.

- That would be amazing.

- Hey, Lainey, your car's here.

- Okay.

Now you...

have it.

Don't be a creep and stalk me.

Seriously, Gen, we could m*rder together.

- Oh my god, what a f*cking idiot.

- Also her art was terrible.

- Give me this.

Is this my car ?

- Yes, I'll get the door.

Will you come to my apartment tomorrow morning to water my plants ?

- Yeah.

Of course.

- Just, not too early.

- What's too early ?

- I don't know.

Bye !

Oh, sh*t !

- Why did we stop ?

- Another passenger.

Oh my god.

I'm gonna f*cking k*ll Neka.

Hey, Lainey.

Oh my god.

This is crazy.

- Definitely not how I pictured this.

- Yeah, no.

Me neither.

I don't know what to say.

We don't have to say anything.

I'm getting out soon.

Okay.

Message received.

You two know each other ?

Yeah.

"Oh wait, was she the great big fat person ?" My sister was a fat person.

I'm sorry.

"Would you f*ck me ?

I'd f*ck me." "I'd f*ck me so hard." You can drop me off anywhere.

Okay.

Hey !

Hey !

Jai Shri Krishna !

What the f*ck ?!

HIGH MAINTENANCE Open, please.

Okay...

There you go.

Get you cleaned off, sir...

- Okay, go ahead and rinse for me.

- Alright.

And give me one second.

Actually, if it's not too weird, would you like to have dinner with me sometime ?

Or lunch, or coffee ?

Or we could go for a walk ?

I promise I can keep up conversation a little bit better when I don't have stuff in my mouth.

- We could go floss shopping ?

- I can't.

- I didn't want to make it awkward.

- I'll call the doctor in.

Yeah, okay.

Can't blame me for trying.

Okay, I know I sound like a broken record, but you've got to type equals before you put in your formula.

If I take the balance of the principle, subtract the monthly in C11 with the added interest calculation from D23, well then you sunk your battleship.

This is important guys, this calculation comes in everywhere.

Renting, buying, mortgage calculations.

Excel, all day long.

This is important.

Basic stuff, like reading, writing, arithmetic.

7.99.

That's 95.21.

Call your aunt to see if we need wipes.

Hey, Dalia, do we need any wipes ?

- Hola !

- Hi, Dalia.

Ay, Dalia I can't listen to music right now.

I'm gonna change it.

Change it.

- So, how was he ?

- He was yelling all day.

My ears were ringing.

I put on the music just so I could get some peace.

- Minnie, where's the pill box ?

- On top of the microwave...

How was class, girls ?

You learned anything good ?

- Mami has a crush.

- What ?!

- No, that's not true.

- Yes, with her teacher.

She thinks he's super hot.

She laughs at all his jokes, she thinks he's hilarious.

Liar.

I could tell she wants to have sex with him soon.

Is he Jewish ?

Nora loves Jewish.

- Crazy girl.

- Nora !

You embarrassed her, now she's going to go jump out of a window.

She won't get too far, we're on the first floor.

Nora, time to get up.

Alright.

Let's go.

You need to take care of yourself.

Oh, it's okay.

It's brave to be scared.

I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.

I went to Michaels.

Couldn't even spend a damn dollar, alright.

I was twisted.

He pissed me off.

I'm ready to throw him the frig out.

Marco, stop it !

Marco, no !

That is it !

- You can't put him in a home.

- What then ?

Hi, Marco.

It's Dalia !

Yes, calm down...

Nora, mami, wake up.

He wants me to shop for myself.

'Go pick something out.' 'f*cking pick something out for me.' Take out your tongue and bite down here.

Bite down.

Thank you.

Nora, you got a call.

Sounds urgent.

Donatella will help you.

Calm down, Marco.

Marco, please !

And then you decide to sell them a hundred shares.

Which hundred shares did you sell ?

Did you sell the cheapest ?

Where were you ?

You weren't in class today !

Get back over here !

Minnie, where were you ?

- And what's additional cost ?

- Additional cost...

I think is 126.

Nora, wake up.

Alright, let's go.

Peter !

Hi, come back with me, please.

- How've you been ?

- Can't complain.

What about you ?

Okay, I'm gonna take it out.

Much better.

I've been flossing.

You okay ?

I'm fine.

Do you still want to ?

Oh.

Yeah.

I do still want to.

- Do you want to ?

- Maybe I give you my number ?

Yeah, great.

Okay.

Gotta go.

What are you doing ?

Gross.

Thanks, for staying home tonight, mami.

- Nah, I told you I was going out.

- You know I have plans...

- Ask Dalia.

- I already asked Dalia, she said no.

Well, what the hell, I don't want to stay in here with him, alone.

- The whole night ?

- Only for a couple of hours.

- Well, where you going ?

- I'm going out.

- Out where ?

- Out to dinner.

- With who ?

- With a friend.

You don't have friends.

What you talking about ?

- Minnie, please.

He's a new friend.

- A new friend...

You're actually snappy.

Hello, ha !

- You look amazing.

- Thank you.

Your dress goes with your tattoo.

It's like waves and...

Thank you.

Actually, my daughter has the same one.

Tell me about your daughter.

I didn't know you had a daughter.

- Yeah, she's 19.

She's amazing...

- You have a 19 year old daughter.

- Unbelievable.

- I don't think that math adds up.

Yeah, she is uh in school right now.

We get along pretty well, which is good.

You don't see that too often.

- I'm impressed.

- You ?

No I have great admiration for people who raise kids, especially in the city.

That's like...

- Yeah, not easy.

- No.

Very delicious.

- You speak Spanish ?

- Yeah, si.

I spent some time in the Dominican Republic during my scuba days.

I have family in Santo Domingo, but I'm Cuban.

- Cuba.

- I never scuba'd in Cuba.

Cuba'd in scuba.

It was just...

More wine ?

Hey, hey, hey.

Get the treat !

Get the treat !

C'mon get the treat !

Okay, we'll work on that.

- Hi.

Piotr ?

- Yes.

Come in.

Thanks for picking me up on this nice night...

- Let's go, party time.

- Party time USA.

That's too close.

That's too high on the left side.

- How about now ?

- That's too much.

- By a lot, or by a little ?

- Maybe just a little bit...

Ok, there.

You got it.

- That's not straight.

- What ?

No, he was like holding the phone at like an angle.

So now the right side's a little too high.

- Oh sh*t, you're right.

- What are you guys doing ?

It's this app called Be My Eyes.

It connects blind and low vision people to seeing volunteers to assist them visually.

- Can I get a look at that ?

- Sure.

I'd love to see how this works.

- Move the phone a bit to the left.

- Okay.

How's this ?

No, too far.

I mean, that's not centered on the wall...

I'm just saying he might want it centered.

- I want it centered.

- See ?

- Can I see ?

- Look at the road, bro !

- There's too many voices.

- Can everybody just be quiet ?

Yeah, we'll be quiet.

Boris, just step forward a bit and take the picture.

Okay, now the nail is...

oh, you got it.

- You don't need my help.

- Where's the hammer now ?

Hammer's down.

Just point your phone down again.

Yeah, it's down on the left, man.

So where's the center of the wall in relation to this thing ?

Ok, you gotta go two palm widths to the right.

- Here ?

- A little to the left.

- Here ?

- Yes !

Yes, that's it !

Hammer it bro, hammer it !

- No, no !

- Really ?

- Do you have a charger, sir ?

- Droid is good ?

Droid ?

Nah.

It's iPhone.

Man, I was really at the edge of my seat there.

He almost got it.

- We'll never know.

- We'll never know.

You know, last week I went through the drive-thru at bank.

There was braille on the keypad.

So how's person driving thru that needs braille ?

You know, you need to have your vision, to drive, right ?

- Oh yeah, for sure.

- Yeah, but not to go to the bank.

I mean, anybody can go to the bank, man.

You know ?

Oh, I get it, you mean like there was braille- you said braille ?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- On the key pad !

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You got it.

Yeah !

- Sorry, my English it's not so...

- No, it wasn't that.

We just didn't hear the braille part.

Got you.

But the blind person could be sitting in the backseat, and the driver can pull up further and the blind person uses the keys.

- It's not weird.

- Right.

That makes sense.

You right.

That's true.

I guess...

this guy could have a driver, right.

Yeah, you could just take a Lyft, man.

I can pick the best ones for ya, that's why I like it.

What happened to the little baggies ?

Well, I figured f*ck plastic.

So coming soon really cute, little nug jars.

But for the moment, you have to provide the container.

Sounds mad impractical.

It's not more impractical than carrying around a bunch of pickles !

I had too much from my garden, so here you go.

These are for me, man ?

Aw, I appreciate it.

I figure, I'm in an eco-phase, I gotta go full tilt.

Alright, well, I mean, Earth's f*cked anyway, but...

You know, I've thought about that but consider the quantum reality where somewhere maybe it's not.

- It kinda is, but...

- Yeah, you're right, it probably is.

But I do know for sure that I'll have some cute nug jars for your weed.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

And thanks for the pickles.

I love pickles.

Who doesn't, baby !

- Mena !

Where are you ?

- Is everything okay ?

- No, man, I'm sorry you gotta go.

- Okay.

Okay, I getcha.

- I'm super sorry about that.

- Have a good one, man !

- I appreciate it.

- Yeah.

Instead of focusing on like key words and responding with a lot of spam, it's looking at the whole phrase, the whole sequence of words which can yield very different results.

And you're still of course getting ads cause that's you know where the revenue comes from but...

- sh*t I gotta take this.

I'm sorry.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, did you put him in the shower ?

It works.

It calms him down.

I told you she's not around, we had that conversation, Minnie.

It's okay, it's not a problem.

I'm coming home.

I'm coming home and I said it's not a problem.

I don't want to hear another word about it, I'm coming.

That's it.

Bye.

- So sorry, I have to go.

- Oh is everything okay ?

- Yeah, you know, just family stuff.

- Of course.

Here, Sam.

Thanks, man.

I gotta run...

It was a nice thought.

Thank you for dinner.

Yeah, I had such a great time.

It was really very nice.

- No.

Sorry, I just don't...

- No, it's fine.

That's totally fine.

- Can I call you a car or...

- Sure.

Let's see.

- Peter ?

- Yep.

Let's go, Peter Pan.

- Do you want some music ?

- Yeah, sure.

- Any requests ?

- Whatever you like is fine.

Okay.

Can you put both hands on the wheel ?

Yeah, well I'm using my knees.

- No, like both hands on the wheel.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Look at that.

- It's a whole technique.

- I see.

- The knee technique.

- The knee technique...

- Do you want to try this one ?

- Yeah, sure.

- Oh, this is the tambourine ?!

- Yeah !

Yeah.

Okay, hands, please...

- And you have...

What is that ?

- Look at this !

- The melodica.

- Where are you getting all this ?

Is this for real ?

- Aquarius...

- Yes !

- Thanks a lot for the ride.

- You've been awesome.

You work on that knee technique, though.

Hey, Miss Peter Pan.

You can say no, but can I buy your panties off of you ?

He's okay, he's okay.

- It's good now ?

- Yeah.

- It was intense though.

- It always is.

Smells funny in here.

What are you doing ?

Nothing.

Studying.

So ?

How was it ?

- You know, he went in for the kiss.

- Jesus f*cking Christ...

Don't say God's name in vain, nena.

How many times should I tell you ?

Stop with the God stuff, mom.

- How was it ?

- It was...

none of your business.

Well...

Don't look at me like that.

Did you forget I can look good ?

I still look pretty ?

Marco, I went out with a patient tonight.

It was only for a drink and dinner, too, but he wouldn't stop talking.

Talk, talk, talk...

It wasn't that bad.

I kinda liked it.

Not him.

But being out.

Do you remember this dress ?

How we used to go dancing ?

And you were such a bad dancer.

- Need anything ?

- Hi, mami.

- All good, mom ?

- All good.

We're okay, aren't we ?

Go to sleep, mami.

I love you.

I'm going to sleep.

Love you, pops.

You drive me crazy.

Marco, I gave the cab driver my panties tonight !

HIGH MAINTENANCE End of episode 6 Season IV