02x18 - Stuck with a Hook, Line and Sinker

[bunniefuu]

Big weekend, girls. Gotta make this place sparkle.

Time to clean the fish t*nk.

Do I have to wear this?

I'm not the best with hand-eye coordination, and you're taking away one of the two.

You need a heightened sense of taste.

The big fishing tournament's this weekend, and I want to try some cutting-edge flavors.

Mm. I'm getting cantaloupe... and a hint of kiwi.

I'm calling that one Melonardo Dicaprio.

Try the next one. I'll get you some more.

Hey, Dad, you want one?

Sure.

It tastes like low tide.

Uh... yeah.

I'm calling that one Algae-gi Hadid.

You guys have a good weekend.

Guys, check it out.

Colt Bailey's in the store.

Colt Bailey?

Why do I know him?

Oh, is that our worm delivery guy?

Seriously? Look around.

To be fair, you don't pay attention to people who are famous in the slushy world.

Colt Bailey is the premier athlete of his sport.

Tails and Scales magazine just named him elite fisherman of the year.

Don't let him leave. I'm gonna see if he'll sign a life jacket.

Welcome to the Bait and Bite.

Can I interest you in a Colt Bailey thermos?

I guess any thermos you use becomes a Colt Bailey thermos.

Harley, stop it, stop it right now.

It is such an honor to have you at our store.

I mean, my dad's store.

Well, the family store.

Georgie, stop it, stop it right now.

Thanks.

Hey, maybe you can help me.

I signed up for the tournament late, and I don't have a place to stay.

Every hotel in town is booked.

I'd be willing to pay top dollar.

Top dollar?

My two favorite words.

If I can get Colt to rent our house, we can finally afford our dream vacation.

Hawaii.

We've been trying to save up for years.

That's why I created the Honolu-loot.

We put birthday money, babysitting money, other people's wishes from the fountain at the mall money, all to some day get us to that magical island.

Unfortunately, when it comes to saving money, our family is its own worst enemy.

Who put a stapler down the garbage disposal?

Why is there a hamburger patty in the DVD player?

Lewie!

Beast!

Daphne!

But now, with the terror trio away with Mom, we could finally earn the money quicker than they can lose it.

When the Littles are away, the Bigs can get paid.

I know a place you can rent.

It's a two-story house not far from here.

Sleeps nine; I've stayed there many times.

Sounds great.

That sounds a lot like our house.

That's because it is.

We're finally gonna fill the Honolu-loot.

So, are you Hawai-in, or Hawai-out?

Hawai-in.

Careful. I'm trying to keep down my green slushy.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in a circus ♪

♪ Tryin' to figure out your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up, turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing, don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin, let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle of the party ♪

♪ We're just getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪

So great to meet you. It's nice to meet you, too.

Wow, Colt Bailey. It is such an honor to have you in our store.

Would you sign this? It'll be the thrill of a life... jacket.

Dad, stop it. Stop it right now.

Happy to. I've signed life vests, float boards, even a jellyfish once.

Can't use just an everyday marker for that.

Wow, this means so much.

If I'm ever drowning, I want people to save this before me.

That guy is going to pay top dollar to rent our house?

A guy that is paying top dollar is wearing that vest?

I don't care what he's wearing, as long as I'm wearing one of those neck pillows on the plane to Hawaii.

Also ugly. Don't sit near me.

Hey, if this thing works out, I'm buying my own row.

Time to seal the deal.

So I checked up on the rental.

There was a family planning on staying there, but I managed to free it up.

Aren't you a little young to be renting out properties?

Aren't you a little young to have your own brand of fish food?

I'm catching what you're casting.

But I don't know about staying in a private home.

The good thing about a hotel is I've got a whole staff to back me up. Don't worry.

This rental comes with a top-notch staff.

Right?

Right. And that would be...

Us. Yes, us.

When it comes to staff, we are the toppest of notches.

Hotels have hundreds of guests. We're dedicated to you.

We'll take care of needs you didn't even know you had.

Like maybe redesigning that vest. Rachel!

So do we have a deal?

Sold. I'll get my stuff.

Right. Now we just need to sell one more person.

Hey! Nice. Family show.

It would be even nicer if you could wait ten minutes till the game's over.

Tropical punch?

We don't have juice; that's actually cherry gelatin, so drink it quick before it gets solid.

Now, close your eyes, and listen to the sound of the tropical paradise.

I thought you said you could play that thing.

I'm doing the best I can.

I found this in Daphne's toy box.

It only has two strings, and one of them is dental floss.

Hold onto your couch cushions, because I just found a way to get us all to Hawaii.

Now before you say anything... Yes.

Just let her finish.

Wait, what?

You think getting the family to Hawaii is a tough sell?

If you have a way, I'm in.

Uh, unless it's something I shouldn't know about for legal reasons.

Then, just tell me on the plane ride home.

I convinced Colt Bailey... The fisherman Colt Bailey...

The fisherman Colt Bailey, to pay Hawaii-level money to rent our house for just five days.

One tiny question. Where are we gonna stay?

'Cause a hotel would eat up all the money we make.

You're gonna love this.

All of us are gonna go camping on the beach.

Still waiting to love it.

Come on, it'll be fun.

We always talk about camping and never do it.

And Dad, this way, you'll be close to the store during tournament time.

You said you'd be practically sleeping there anyway.

Or we could go stay with Mom and the other kids at Aunt Karen's.

I don't think your mother should know about the whole renting out our house plan.

Let's tell her when she's sunning herself on a white sand beach.

Then, all the fight will be out of her.

Take a look at this kitchen.

Take a smell of this kitchen.

And trust me, it's the first time you'd want to.

It took six gallons of bleach and three mop heads to get here, but we brought this place up to actually livable.

Hawaii, here we come.

Colt Bailey.

Hey, Colt, it's Harley.

Just wanna let you know the place is all yours.

I left the key under the mat.

You're good to go.

Fantastic. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention.

I have this little puppy named Guppy.

Puppy named Guppy?

I'm seeing an official Colt Bailey children's book.

Already in the works. Thing is, I'm gonna need someone to watch him for me while I'm fishing.

Poor little guy can't stand to be alone.

Is that something your top-notch staff can handle?

I just cleaned up after nine animals.

I can handle one dog.

I don't sign salmon, ma'am. It's a personal policy.

Every trip to Hawaii starts with step one.

Camping.

I do not like the look of that sky.

Well, soon it will be dark, and you won't be able to see it.

Did you check the weather?

Of course.

"100% chance of rain in greater Marshport."

So? What's a little rain?

"With microburst tornadoes throughout the night."

Stop reading that.

Please tell me you have a back-up plan.

Of course.

This is your back-up plan?

Staying at the store won't be so bad.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

Because it's a terrible idea.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Staying here is a small sacrifice to get to Hawaii.

Think of it as camping inside. We could tell scary stories.

I've got a really scary one.

It's about a family that had to stay in a bait shop for a week.

Guys, it's gonna be a long night.

Let's not get on each other's nerves.

Sweet dreams, everybody.

The lighthouse is so annoying. Can someone turn it off?

Sure.

What's a few shipwrecks for our personal comfort?

Stop moving or the ukulele comes back inside.

Rise and shine. It's 4:30.

Everyone starts early on tournament day.

Morning, Landlord Harley.

Don't mean to be a snag in your line, but we need to chat.

Last night when I locked up, I saw you did not have a home security system.

We don't, but Marshport's really safe.

One time, they left the front page of the paper blank because nothing was going on.

Yeah, but I've got fans. Groupies.

Don't you mean groupers?

Sorry. It's early.

I need to sleep soundly if I'm gonna win this tournament.

I'm afraid if you don't get me an alarm system by tonight, I'll have to find somewhere else to stay.

No, no. I'll take care of it.

The last family that lived there relied on their youngest daughter for protection.

I won't be troubling you again.

Water's calling.

Landlord Harley, one more thing.

Don't mean to be a snag in your line, but I'm here to drop off my little pup.

Little? Compared to what?

Compared to that marlin I caught last week, Guppy is tiny.

That's not a problem, right?

You did promise a top-notch staff.

I believe your words were "the toppest of notches."

Georgie's, but still, I can handle the dog.

And get you an alarm in a day.

I got this, Harls.

Big's got your back.

You're gonna be with him all day, right?

He doesn't like to be alone.

I come from a family of nine.

I don't know what alone is.

Come on, boy.

All right.

Water's calling.

Landlord Harley, one more thing.

Don't mean to be a snag in your line, but that kitchen has a problem.

It's about as clean as it's ever been, so can't wait to hear this.

It's gonna sound crazy, but I'd like you to remove all the fish and fish-related products in there.

I'd do it myself, but it's bad luck to touch any fish before you actually catch some.

That doesn't sound crazy at all.

Athletes are superstitious.

Football star Brady Rice keeps all his food in alphabetical order.

That's crazy.

But then again, who am I to argue with a world champion?

Interesting.

Landlord Harley, I'm gonna need the pantry alphabetized.

If it's good enough for Brady, it's good enough for Bailey.

What a helpful idea... Georgie.

I'll just add alphabetizing to my list.

Our list. I'll take care of that.

I know a little something about superstition in sports.

I never wash my game socks during a season.

That's not superstitious, that's just unsanitary.

Anyway... water's calling.

Landlord Harley, don't mean to be a...

Snag in your line.

Hey, how did you know I was gonna say that?

Water called, gave me a heads up.

This might be beyond the scope of your services, but I'm gonna need someone to prepare some fresh bait for me.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

Much obliged.

I'll need worms, crawdads and sand fleas.

I'm your girl. I love everything fishing, and fishing-ish. Great, thanks.

Also, if you can get out this snag in my line, I'd appreciate it.

Since when do you offer to help, especially when it involves gills and guts?

Since I overheard Colt's going fishing with Ryan Reynolds, and I want to go.

Look at us Bigs, doing our part.

We step up, and without those three little anchors, we can fly.

You are looking at the lock squawk.

It's a voice-activated lock you customize with your own password.

I started inventing it for the girls' room, but this will be a good test run.

And once I set this password, Hawaii, here we come.

Harley, I have an emergency!

It's probably not nice to say this about your sister, but she better be bleeding.

That's a good boy.

Who's a good boy?

You're not gonna poop on Uncle Ethan's shoes anymore, are you?

No.

Do you mind if I take a picture with you really quick to post on my feed? If I tag it "Colt Bailey's dog,"

I could really get a boost in followers.

All right. You didn't say no.

This alphabetizing thing is not easy.

Do I put this under "R" for rigatoni, or "P" for pasta?

I'd file it under "N" for not an emergency.

Then there's this jelly situation.

I mean, is this jelly or jam?

The label says preserves. Preserves!

Then there's this mind-bender.

Half peanut butter, half jelly.

Put it under "S" for swirl.

I am so glad you are here.

I never thought you'd ask.

But these are crawdads.

My personal favorite.

What's your personal runner-up?

Come on, don't be shy.

Dive in and grab a plump one.

Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds.

Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds.

Bite?

And ziti.

If Colt wants tubular pasta, he knows where to find it.

That looks great. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

"Almonds comma salted" would be after "almonds comma plain."

Really?

It'll just take a sec.

Perfect.

I'm about to really comma really lose my cool.

I know you left the front door open... oh!

You do, because a pack of raccoons obviously got in here.

I'm gonna go shower fish guts off me.

You can't leave fish guts in Colt's shower.

It'll make him feel at home.

And if you wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ethan.

Why?

You posted Colt's phone number?

No, just pictures of me and Guppy.

Colt's personal cell phone number was on the dog tag.

Oh, that's why I have 2,000 new followers.

It's my fault Colt's having all this bad luck.

If I'd alphabetized the food quicker, it wouldn't have happened.

He's probably been swallowed by a whale by now.

This better not affect my sh*t of going fishing with Ryan Reynolds.

You're going fishing with Colt's dog groomer?

What? Ryan Reynolds.

That's Colt's dog groomer's name.

He's this guy. He's following me now, too.

I spent two hours touching dead fish to hang out with someone's grandpa?!

That's it, I quit. You can't.

You're supposed to be doing bait prep for Colt.

Yeah, and you're supposed to be doing house prep.

But look at this place.

And anyone could look at this place, because Harley's security system let me and Ethan walk right in here. I didn't lock it yet.

Colt asked us to do four things, and we haven't done any right.

Five things. We can't even get that right.

Guys, all of this arguing isn't getting us to Hawaii.

We need to focus.

Georgie, you cut up some more bait.

Rachel, you handle the social media situation.

Ethan, keep Guppy out of trouble.

I'll stay here and deal with the house.

You really think we can fix all this? Of course.

We're the Bigs without the Littles.

We're unstoppable.

Lock Squawk engaged.

Does that mean we're locked out?

Yes, but relax. I know the password.

Flounder.

Password invalid.

That's weird. It's definitely a fish.

Halibut.

Password invalid.

Uh, Ethan, did you forget something inside?

Oh, no. That dog cannot be alone.

Last time he was, he turned a parking meter into a piñata.

We've gotta get in there.

I know it now. Monkey.

Password invalid.

Monkey? Fish weren't working.

And he's getting into the suitcase.

How do you not know your password? You set it.

Okay, time to set the password.

Harley, I have an emergency.

You're a real snag in my line, Georgie.

Snag in my line. - Welcome home.

Okay, I know it looks bad, but we're the Bigs.

Yeah, named after the size of trouble we're in.

Lewie, Beast and Daphne never caused this much destruction, and they're actively trying. So...

It's not over yet. If we all work together...

Whoa! Let me guess.

Someone left Guppy alone.

Yeah, now it's over.

Well, Colt checked into a hotel in Boston.

Said he would rather have an hour commute than deal with us, not that I blame him.

And since we had to pay for all the damages, these are the closest we're getting to the islands.

Well, I guess that's aloha, Hawaii.

Aloha meaning good-bye and not hello.

Thank you for trying, Harls. We'll get there eventually.

At least I still have my signed life jacket.

Son of a g*n. He made it out to Tim.

I guess the Littles weren't the problem after all.

Nope. We managed to empty this thing faster than they ever have.

We're not going to tell them about this, are we?

Never.