12x06 - Sir. Sir? Sir!!!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Murdoch Mysteries". Aired: January 2008 to present.*

Moderator: Virginia Rilee

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In the 1890s, William Murdoch uses radical forensic techniques for the time, including fingerprinting and trace evidence, to solve some of the city's most gruesome murders.
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12x06 - Sir. Sir? Sir!!!

Post by bunniefuu »

I don't know what it sounded like, McNab, I just said that I heard a strange noise.

Is that precise enough for you?

No, I suppose you needn't send someone.

I'll just have a look myself.

As usual.

Huh...

[Clanking]

[Rattling]

Who's there?

Answer me!

Evening, Officer.

What are you doing out at this hour?

Drinking.

Go home to your beds.

I just need to find one that'll have me.

Station House Four cells will be happy to have you if you don't get a move on.

All right, all right...

Humourless git.

Show yourself!

[Eerie music]

What the devil...

[Snarling]

[Choking]

[Muffled screaming]

[Spooky interpretation of the musical theme]

Amazing.

What's so amazing about some bloody rocks falling from the sky?

It's a true celestial event.

It's fascinating.

It's nothing but a nuisance.

We must have received about a hundred calls from people who thought the world was coming to an end.

What's amazing is not what they're made of, but where they're from.

Yes, they come...

they come from another planet, sir!

Isn't that right?

A bit like Halley's comet except these ones have crashed to the ground.

Well...

It's not exactly like Halley's Comet, George.

Halley's comet has a distinct orbital path.

Meteors are a completely different thing.

Crabtree!

Listen to these two.

There are all sorts of rocks and debris out in space.

Occasionally, they get trapped in earth's gravitational pull and begin a plunge downward.

Sir, how was nobody k*lled?

Well, the speed at which they enter the earth's atmosphere causes them to burn up to nothing.

Surely no, sir.

You mean to tell me that rocks burn?

Let me explain.

Congratulations, Crabtree.

Now look what you've done.

As you know, the earth is surrounded by an atmosphere comprised of gases that provide friction against any object that moves through it.

[Phone ringing]

Thank the Lord.

Friction creates heat.

Yes?

[Murdoch speaking indistinctly]

Yes.

Yes.

I'll send my best man out there immediately.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Crabtree, get out to side road four.

There's a farmer out there reporting a disturbance.

Sir, does it have anything to do with the meteors?

I don't bloody know.

Oh, and take Watts with you.

He seems exceptionally idle today.

So then, sir, am I your...

You said you'd send your best man.

It's just something to say, Crabtree.

Get a move on.

Julia: Oh, I see!

You're trying to determine the atmospheric drag coefficient.

Watts!

Come on!

Yes, I thought I would assume half of the atmospheric pressure at sea level.

That's a good compromise.

Bloody Hell.

I'll leave you two to it.

What's that?

Well, sir, it is a plant.

The particular sort I am not certain.

I know it's a bloody plant, Higgins.

What is it doing in here?

I thought the office could use some brightening up.

I don't like it.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Would you like me to get rid of it?

Just put it somewhere unobtrusive.

What was that telephone call about last night?

Pardon me?

You said you heard a disturbance.

Oh, it was nothing.

But thank you for asking.

Is there anything you would like me to do today, sir?

I am ready to serve.

I'll tell you if I need anything.

Very good.

As I said, I will be ready.

Are you all right, Higgins?

Never better, sir, never better.

What if there are more than just rocks up there?

What sort of more?

Creatures.

Could you imagine there could be life up there beyond the stars?

I don't need to imagine.

Just think of it, all those stars, all those planets.

Who would be arrogant enough to assume that we are the only life in all the vastness of space?

So you believe in space aliens?

I do indeed.

What do you think they look like?

Because I imagine they're terrible looking creatures.

With large heads and long fingers.

Or maybe not fingers.

Maybe...

maybe suction cups.

Or maybe...

maybe they have no heads at all, like a squid.

That's what they're like.

Or who knows, maybe they're lovely.

Maybe they are elf-like and friendly.

Who could say?

Intelligent?

I fear they may be more cunning.

How do you think they would regard us?

That's just the thing.

They...

They might think we're just as terrible.

Which is why we need to keep our guard up.

Hmm-mm.

Woah!

And this happened last night?

Just after the meteors.

What did you hear?

I thought it was a fight, but when I came outside there was no one here.

Just this strange thing.

What do you think it is?

I have no idea.

I'm going to bring it back to the Station House.

Suit yourself.

Madam.

[Sniffles]

[Sighs in disgust]

Tea, sir?

Thank you very much, Higgins, that's very kind.

What the devil's going on?

I understood you liked tea, sir.

I do like tea.

Nevermind.

Very good.

Would you like me to go on patrol now?

What have you done wrong, Higgins?

I hope nothing, sir.

I am just ready to take on the obligations of my job.

Get back to your desk.

Very good.

Very good.

Henry!

Did you see this last night?

I did not.

What is it?

I'm not sure.

It looks like rubbish.

Let me get rid of it for you.

No, Henry.

I want this.

Are you all right?

Everything is perfectly fine.

Sorry to disturb you, sir.

[Groans]

[Ominous music]

Lucky it didn't hit the house.

When did it happen?

Around two in the morning.

Heard a crash, came outside.

Just replaced the boards as well.

Can you see to the bottom?

I can't.

Must be an awful distance.

What did you say it was?

A meteor.

Can we be expecting more?

I don't know.

It could have brained me as easy as not.

See if you can find out anything else.

I'm going to visit the neighbouring farms, see if there have been any other reports.

I'll be back presently.

You say it came from outer space?

I did.

Should we be worried?

My God, yes!

Mr.

O'Riely, heaven knows what sort of beasts inhabit the cosmos!

Wasps nests and many others of the phylum arthropoda build their homes out of chewed wood.

And silk secreted from their bodies.

But this is neither of those.

It is organic.

It seems to be some sort of cocoon.

Yes.

But what species?

I don't know.

Miss Hart, could you perform a thorough examination of this?

Let's see if we can try to determine what material it's composed of.

I'll do what I can.

Do you have any thoughts, Julia?

I do indeed.

My main one being that this is beyond us.

Hopefully someone at the University's zoology department will be able to shed some light.

Looks like it goes on forever.

It can't go on forever.

Right?

I mean, that's...

that's impossible.

We would be able to see China if that was the case.

So you're one of those who believes the world is round?

Yes, I do.

Okay.

Wait.

[Blowing]

[Both exclaiming in surprise]

There's something down there.

Clearly there is.

And what happens to us if it gets out?

Let's see that it doesn't.

[Chirping]

Hmm.

♪ ♪ Hello, Miss Hart.

Would you like some tea?

I have some freshly steeped.

Orange Pekoe I believe.

I don't enjoy tea, Constable.

It's very good.

What are you doing?

Trying to figure out what this thing is.

And why are you doing that?

Well, the Detective asked.

You shouldn't be doing that.

What are you doing?

What is going to happen is for the best.

[Screaming]

What took you so long?

I'm sorry, George, the woods were particularly pleasant.

I may have lingered longer than I should.

What are you doing?

Trying to keep whatever's down there from coming out.

There's something down there?

Something alive!

We have to tell the Detective.

And what exactly do you think it is?

I don't know.

But...

I fear I may have angered it.

How?

I may have struck it with a piece of wood.

Then you're right.

We should tell the Detective.

That is our job and those are the rules and the rules must be obeyed.

Well, I agree with that, but...

But what, George?

Well, I've never...

quite heard you speak like this.

Really?

Well, I suppose you haven't been listening.

Let us go get the Detective.

I'll be along in a moment, George, I just need to get some particulars from Mr.

O'Riely.

Now, Mr.

O'Riely, I have a few questions for you.

O...

okay.

[Typewriter clanking]

And Professor McPherson at the University of Toronto has never seen the likes of it.

Has it done something wrong?

Well, no.

Then I don't care.

Then why did you ask me to come in?

I was hoping you'd have a word with Higgins.

Higgins?

Why?

I'm not sure he's right in the head.

Really?

And how is that manifesting itself?

Look.

He's being very dutiful.

And remarkably pleasant.

And that's a condition that concerns you?

There's something not quite right about it.

Could you estimate how deep the caldera is?

The what?

The caldera.

When a meteor hits the ground, the impact depression is known as a caldera.

Or more commonly as a crater.

Well, see, sir, I know what a crater is.

Why wouldn't you just say that?

I'm sorry, sir, I don't mean to seem testy.

I just...

Something strange is afoot.

I can feel it.

Good day, Detective.

Constable.

Good day.

You see what I mean?

See what?

Sir, people almost never say hello to us.

I hadn't really noticed.

Well, I have.

Often.

I have often thought a policeman's lot is a lonely one.

Sir, why this?

You said you heard noises.

Yes, that's right.

It sounded like...

[Clicking and lapping]

Oh!

I...

I can't do it, but it sounded something like that.

Yes, well, I plan to use this recording equipment to get a more accurate representation.

Detective.

Constable.

Miss Hart.

I bring news.

I believe what you found is the nest of a cecrophia.

Cecrophia!

Good Lord!

That's just a moth, George.

Oh...

Oh, sir, that makes perfect sense.

A moth from outer space!

Its wings would come in handy.

There's no air in space, George.

I think wings would be of little use.

Don't you think the cocoon is a bit large for that, Miss Hart?

Perhaps it is a large specimen.

From what I have read they do vary in size.

Yes, well, I do agree it does resemble the nest of a cecrophia, but I just don't think that's it.

Please keep looking.

I shall, Detective.

Are you planning a trip?

More like an expedition, Miss Hart.

A very important one at that.

[Tongue clicks]

Henry!

Thank you for coming in.

Please, have a seat.

So...

How are you?

I'm very good.

So everything is going well?

Things could not be better.

I am a lucky man.

Why do you say that?

I am an important person.

I have a loving and dutiful wife and I am a policeman.

Yes.

You are.

And I am honoured to be thus.

Can you imagine a more important job?

And I hold it.

You must be very proud of your husband because he is the best policeman.

Yes, I am.

So...

You're sure everything's all right?

I have never been better.

Why do you ask?

Well...

and don't take this the wrong way...

you're being very, very nice.

[Tongue clicks]

Thank you.

It is important to be nice.

Perhaps it is the most important thing a man can be.

What are you doing?

Having some plant and talking to you.

[Gulps noisily]

[Laughing uncertainly]

Anything I can help you with?

No, Doctor Ogden, thank you very much.

We were just waiting for our friend.

[Both]: Henry.

[Ominous music]

How many feet of wire do we have, George?

Sir, a hundred feet, almost.

That should do it.

Let it out.

You really think the meteorite is down there, George?

Meteor, sir.

Not exactly, George.

When a meteor is in the sky, it is a meteor, but when it hits the ground, it is then technically referred to as a meteorite.

Why is that?

It just is.

Well, it seems an unnecessary complication.

And you are quite sure you...

you heard something down there?

More than that, sir.

I threw a piece of wood down there.

Something threw it back.

Hello!

Would you gentlemen like some tea?

Thank you, but no.

You know, you two don't have to be here.

I have a man coming by to fix the hole in the wall.

And he gave me a very fair deal.

And he can start soon enough.

We won't be taking up much of your time.

You think something criminal is going on down there?

I don't know.

You're a detective, aren't you?

Isn't it your job to fight crime?

It is.

But this is more of a scientific endeavour.

That's it, sir.

I've reached the end.

[Chirping]

Fascinating!

Do you hear something, sir?

Can you hear something, sir?

Yes!

Yes!

It appears you were right, George.

There is definitely something down there.

Sir!

No, I...

I won't.

I suppose not.

Aaah!

Quick, George, get something so we can capture it.

Good Lord, sir.

What is it?

I don't know.

It's from space!

Let's just say it's from the ground.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Everything.

I don't know.

Why do you say that?

The station hasn't received a single call today.

Not one complaint.

No littering, no loitering, not even any lollygagging.

And that's bad?

It's not right.

Best of the day to you, Inspector.

See?

Everyone's being so damned pleasant.

You know what I would do if I were you.

What?

Enjoy it.

The world is not often this way.

I know that.

I just don't much care for it.

Oh, Thomas.

[Chirping over recording]

It's just a lot of noise.

Sir, I believe it could be something more.

Do you?

What?

I don't know.

Well, it's bloody annoying.

Where is your sense of inquiry?

Something has landed here on Earth, from space.

And now these noises.

Sir, I think it's possible something could be trying to communicate with us.

All right.

What are they saying?

I don't know.

Then who cares if they're trying to communicate or not?

Sir, we could be on the threshold of a whole new era.

Look, sir, have a listen.

It's still just bloody noise.

And you've spoken to Higgins?

I did.

He's gone off his nut, has he not?

I'm not sure I would phrase it that way, but he did seem different.

Different?

Doctor!

By the time Watts and I got back from the farm, Higgins had done all my paperwork and cleaned the keys of my typewriter.

That was thoughtful.

Yes, exactly.

Higgins is not a thoughtful man.

It's because of those meteors.

I'm telling you.

Nothing has been the same since then.

Now, George, meteors are nothing but rocks from space.

Well, that may be so, but...

even Watts is acting strangely.

And some might say Watts is strange to begin with.

I'm telling you, something is wrong, and it makes me very, very uncomfortable.

Good day Constable.

Lovely day out isn't it?

Yes, indeed.

Do you see what I mean?

It's just someone being courteous, George.

It's not that unusual.

It's Toronto.

This behavior is completely normal, George.

People were very alarmed with this recent celestial event.

Some may have even thought it the end of the world.

And then the next day, the sun comes up as it always does and everything is well.

Being grateful and appreciative after avoiding a tragedy is a most human reaction.

So what are you suggesting?

That from this day forward the world'll be a better place?

Oh, no, George, don't worry.

I am sure the m*rder and mayhem will continue shortly.

[Ominous music]

[Chirping]

Hello?

Hello?

[Chirping]

Who's in here?

Julia!

Look.

Have you ever seen anything so fascinating?

What is it?

I have no idea.

But it certainly isn't a cecrophia.

And it's definitely not of this continent.

But it's from here.

Well, it's from the calder...

uh, crater that I've been investigating.

You think this is from another planet?

Well, it is possible that it came out of the inside of the meteor.

How fascinating!

And if you can believe it, I think they may be trying to communicate with us.

Well, what would be the point of coming all this way if they weren't going to say something about it?

[Knocking]

Oh...

That's disappointing.

Hopefully there are more.

[Ominous music]

[Tongue clicks]

Capricious...

[Chirping]

[Tongue clicks]

[All chirping]

Holy herd of M...

[Loud chirping]

[Muffled chirping]

Sir!

George!

Listen to this.

I've heard enough of that.

It is some kind of language.

I know.

George...

Do you know what this means?

It means you were right.

We have been contacted by creatures from another planet.

George, you were right!

Sir!

I'm pleased I was right, but I'm not happy about it.

There is something at the bottom of that crater sending out transmissions.

I am certain of it.

We need to get whatever it is out of there.

Sir, I don't think we need go that far.

I believe that Constable Higgins is one of them.

As is Miss Hart, as is Detective Watts as is God knows how many people.

Now, George, I've believed everything you've said up to a point.

I don't think I'm quite prepared to push the boat all the way out.

But, sir!

Alright.

If you think something strange is going on, then by all means keep an eye on them.

I have to find Doctor Ogden.

She knows a number of clever linguists who may be able to help decipher whatever is being said.

[Sighs]

Julia?

Julia?

Can I help you?

Ah, yes.

Have you seen Dr.

Ogden?

No.

But I am sure I can help you.

Would you like some tea?

No.

It's fine.

It's very good.

You were right, it was no moth.

But did you have to k*ll him?

What harm had he done?

Miss Hart, are you quite all right?

Let me help you.

You don't need Dr.

Ogden.

Please just tell Julia that I need to speak with her.

Become one of us.

Life is better if you're one of us.

No!

No!

Aaah!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Sir!

I've been thinking.

This...

this may not be any ordinary interplanetary visit, but rather some sort of alien invasion.

Go on.

Sir, I believe that these space creatures have figured out a way of changing our behaviour.

I don't know if it's through these infernal sounds they keep emitting but I believe they've figured out a way of influencing the way that we act.

The sounds, George?

Sir, think about it.

Higgins...

Higgins is being responsible.

How often does that happen?

Detective Watts is...

acting as normally as you or I and Miss Hart has being exceedingly pleasant.

I mean, these are not the normal course of events.

What are you talking about, George?

Sir, I believe these creatures are taking us over one by one.

You or I could be next.

[Sighs]

There is no alien invasion, George.

The creature I found was just a moth.

A moth?

But sir, you even...

You said you agreed with me.

That was a joke, George.

I was pulling your arm.

You, sir?

A joke?

Yes.

Something to evoke laughter.

[Laughing awkwardly]

And a good one at that, sir.

A real knee-slapper.

Yes.

[All chirping]


[Tongue clicks]

Crabtree!

Aaaah!

What are you doing?

Inspector!

Uh...

The Detective asked me to gather up some of his recording equipment.

Of course he did.

Sir?

Well, typical bloody Murdoch.

Always scared of a little heavy lifting.

And digging.

Sir, thank God!

I have to talk to you about something.

Thomas.

It'll have to wait, I'm afraid.

Sir!

It's important.

Are you saying that my wife, Margaret Brackenreid, isn't?

Oh, Thomas!

I'll talk to you when I'm good and ready.

Coming, darling!

[Sighs]

Mmmm...

[Chirping]

And you are telling me that one of these voices is William?

I'm afraid so, Doctor.

It's clear now that he has become one of these creatures.

No!

No.

It's not possible.

Doctor, I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true.

Even the Detective believed that space aliens were taking over this planet.

That is until he became one of the creatures himself.

Now, George, you are letting your imagination...

Doctor!

You've seen it with your own eyes.

People all over this city are acting differently.

There are people who were near and dear to us who are...

who are no longer themselves.

Space aliens are taking over the world!

I need to talk to William about this.

You cannot talk to William about this.

William is no more.

No!

Doctor!

Look, you need to find him and restrain him somehow until we can figure out what to do about this.

I'm sorry, I feel awful about it.

And I feel awful on a personal level.

What do you mean, George?

You may not be aware of this but over the years, I've had some rather fantastical theories.

And I've always wished that one of them would come true.

And now that it has...

[Sighs]

... I've lost my best friend.

I'm going to go home.

And if William is there...

Then you need to...

You need to lock him up.

Lock him in the potato cooking room!

Turn it on if you have to.

George!

I'm telling you, Doctor!

Do you know how to use this?

Yes.

Of course.

Then use it if you have to.

Are you suggesting I k*ll my husband?

Doctor, he is no longer your husband.

What about the rest of them?

Constable Higgins, Detective Watts...

[Sighs]

Don't worry.

I think I have an idea.

Watts!

Higgins!

Yes, George.

I need your help.

Certainly.

That is why we are here.

[Both]: To help.

Right.

There's a ruckus in the cells.

A ruckus?

We can't be having that.

Let's get to it.

Wait!

Watts, you come with me.

Higgins, I need you to fetch Miss Hart.

One of the prisoners needs medical attention.

Certainly, George.

Police action.

I wouldn't get too close to him, Watts, we don't know what he's ailing from.

Where are the other prisoners?

Well, we haven't really had any other prisoners in several days.

It was just this chap who was acting up.

Ah, Miss Hart.

Please come in.

Higgins.

I don't know who you are or what you have done with my friends, but it takes a great deal to put one over on George Crabtree.

A great deal indeed.

This planet is ours, not yours.

And you won't be taking it from George Crabtree, Toronto Constabulary, human being.

[All chirping]

All of them?

Everyone of them, sir.

Even the Detective, I fear.

That is troubling.

It's a lot more than troubling, sir.

Do you think we should do something about it?

Yes.

Of course.

Sir, what are you doing?

We need to formulate a plan.

[Door closes]

William?

Welcome home, Julia.

How was your day?

It was lovely.

You?

It was most pleasant.

Would you like to have romance?

Pardon?

It's what a husband and wife do, is it not?

Let me get changed.

I can help you with that.

Uh...

Not now, William.

I want romance.

Not another step!

Romance.

Aaaah!

[Chirping]

[g*nshots]

[Screaming]

[g*nsh*t]

You don't want romance?

[Whimpering]

William...

So what do you think we should do about this alien invasion?

Sir, we need to...

tell somebody.

The army.

The Prime Minister.

We need to mobilize our forces and b*at back these invaders.

We need to save the world.

Are you sure?

Yes, I think so.

Don't you think this is for the best?

The best?

Look at the world.

It's all so much more peaceful.

Well, sir...

You might be thinking that...

but...

I should go.

But why?

We've only just started to talk about what we're going to do.

Yes, sir, but I might be mistaken about the whole thing.

I mean, uh...

I'm certainly not sleeping very much.

I'm sure my mind is playing tricks on me.

No, George, I believe you.

I want to help you.

That is my job.

To help.

I'm a policeman.

It is my duty to serve and protect.

[Retches]

[Coughing]

Sir?

[Choking]

Sir!

Man's best friend.

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Doctor!

You better be right, George Crabtree.

I believe I am.

I just k*lled my husband.

Dear God, I listened to George Crabtree and k*lled my husband.

He wasn't your husband anymore.

He was just some sort of bug.

Listen, Doctor, whether you like it or not, Detective William Murdoch is no more.

Watts is no more, Higgins, Miss Hart, even the Inspector, they're all gone.

The Inspector's wife?

Hard to tell.

Hard to tell with her.

But listen, Doctor, I want you to stay there.

I think I have an answer.

What do you mean you have the answer?

You think you can bring them back?

No.

But I think I know how to k*ll them.

And if we can k*ll them, we just might be able to save the world.

Please hurry, George.

I will.

Don't let anybody in.

I won't.

Romance?

Higgins?

Watts?

Good day, Constable.

I'd like to thank you for all that you do.

You're very welcome.

Could I buy you a tea?

Thank you, no.

Are you sure?

I really think you should join us for tea.

I can't.

I knew it!

Alright.

You should've said you'd like something stronger than tea.

Tea?

Yes, I've never...

I've never fancied the stuff.

These fellows certainly needed their rest.

Rest?

Yes.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you have a drink of what I'm drinking?

I assure you...

it's much better than tea.

I'd love it.

Thank you.

Should we toast?

Certainly.

To your health.

[Sipping noisily]

[Satisfied sigh]

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

Aaaaah!

Burning...

[Tongue clicks]

[Thuds]

Careful picking your poison.

[High-pitch scream]

[Chirping]

[Coughing]

The one they call Crabtree.

He knows.

Then we must find him.

Thievery is a crime.

I'm a policeman.

Then it is a worse crime.

Oh, good God!

[Tongue clicks]

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

[Horse neighs]

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Doctor!

Doctor Ogden?

Doctor!

Ah!

Doctor, I think I may have found it.

I believe I've found a solution.

Solution to what, George?

What's going on here?

You're supposed to be dead.

Dead?

Why would he be dead, George?

You said you k*lled him.

I am his loving wife.

Why would I k*ll him?

I'm to honour and obey him.

No...

Not you as well.

She's my loving wife, George, why wouldn't she join us?

You can too, George.

Would you like some tea?

We could talk about it.

It's good to talk about things.

Yes.

Hello, old friend.

What?

You're dead!

Why do you think everyone is dead, George?

Can't you see?

We're all right as rain.

Would you like some tea?

No, I would not.

What are you doing here?

Why don't you just leave us alone?

[Chirping]

Stop it!

You're not from here!

You don't belong here!

We want to help.

We want to make a better world.

Our world is just fine.

No, it's not.

To me it is.

Don't you see?

To have a better world...

All humans must die.

We have watched your world for a long time and all we see is...

Crime.

Disease.

Death.

m*rder.

And mayhem.

All humans must die, George, so that all of the other creatures on this world can live.

No.

No.

No!

No!

No!

Don't struggle, Bugalugs.

Bugalugs.

That is a good one.

Why, thank you, Henry.

[Tongue clicks]

From this day forward, we will all be bugalugs.

All: Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Bugalugs!

Would you like the honour?

[Whimpers]

I thought you would never ask.

No!

No!

No!

No!

[Chirping]

[Typewriter clanking]

[Indistinct chattering]

[Panting]

Help!

I need help!

Tom!

Tom!

They're out there.

They're everywhere!

Why don't you have a seat?

Have some tea.

Uh?

Let's talk about it.

[All chirping]

Help!

Aaaaah!
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