04x16 - One of my Three Soups

[bunniefuu]

Gordon: Previously on Gotham...

[Groans]

Sofia: We could've had a good thing, you and I.

[g*nsh*t]

You!

Yeah.

Me.

When I get out of here, I'm gonna confess.

My connection with Sofia.

All of it.

No, you wanna pay your debt, you live with it.

It's what the city needs.

Ra's: When I brought you back to life, I asked you to be my eyes and ears in Gotham.

You became so much more.

Let her go, now.

No!

I'll never go with you.

No!

[Screams]

You k*lled her!

Bruce: So, now, you're gonna return it?

What am I supposed to say?

"I stole your jewelry.

Sorry." Sometimes, that's enough.

Can you do it?

Tabitha: Migraine still?

Barbara: It's like I've been hit in the head with a brick.

[Barbara breathes heavily]

Penguin: You could escape anytime.

You're planning something.

Something spectacular.

But, when we're done, the world out there, that'll be the asylum.

[Chuckles]

[Buzzing]

("FOOL FOR YOU" PLAYING ON WALKMAN) Get back in your bunk, Tetch.

[Inaudible]

Don't even try hypnotizing me.

I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm not talking to you!

I'm talking to her.

[Gasps]

Jeez.

Tortuga.

You almost gave me a heart att*ck.

Wait.

Where the hell are your headphones?

[Chokes]

Did I do it right?

Right as rain, in the plain in Spain.

Knock, knock, called the cock.

Time to rise and wield your scythe.

Crane: I fear I will require a moment more, Mr.

Tetch.

Our moment is fleeting, my dear Mr.

Crane.

Its wings desperately b*ating.

[Sizzling]

There, now, scarcely a drop spilled.

Shall we, Mr.

Tetch?

Let us be at pains, Mr.

Crane.

[Electricity crackling]

[Alarm blaring]

When I say "three hairs past a freckle," gentlemen, I do not mean five hairs past.

Let's do better next time, hmm?

Mind both P's and Q's, Valeska.

We are not your militia to be becked and called.

I dread to think where you'd be without us.

Boys, boys, let's not squabble too early in our partnership.

There'll be plenty of time to s*ab each other in the backs later.

But for now, stick to Jerome's plan, and everyone will get what they want.

An earthly kingdom of terror.

A piece of Gotham pie both sky and high.

That's the spirit, boys.

Think big.

And kinky.

[Alarm continues blaring]

And lose the weirdo.

She's giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Your work is done, my dear.

Your race all run.

Glad to be of help.

[Chokes]

Much better.

Now, to free the rest of our cronies, and blow this pop stand.

[All shouting]

[Whooping]

[All cheering]

Onward, march!

[Police siren blaring]

Sure you're up for this, Captain Gordon?

I'll manage.

Picked a hell of a night to come back on the job.

How many got out?

Eighty-seven.

The entire violent ward.

Yeah, we rounded up most of the serious nutjobs, the guys that think they're walruses and whatnot.

Ephram Snow, child m*rder*r, Daedalus Boch, mutilator, Erasmus Rayne, cult k*ller...

All at large.

The surviving guards think your old buddy, Tetch, was behind it.

No.

This big, this insane, Jerome Valeska put this together, and there'll be more to come.

Got a lot of nervous cops out here tonight who are thinking along the same lines.

And I know what you're thinking.

Why not tell them the truth?

About Sofia, and the Pyg, get it all out in the open.

I've kept my mouth shut like you told me to.

Good, and I'm telling you again.

Don't slip.

Go over there and be big Jim Gordon, hero cop.

It's what they need, even if it is a lie.

Male officer 1: Hey, Cap.

Female Officer: Good to see you, sir.

Welcome back, Captain.

Hey, back at it.

Male officer 2: Hey, Cap.

Male officer 3: Good to see you, boss.

All right, listen up.

If I'd have known I'd be seeing your ugly mugs tonight, I'd have stayed in the hospital.

[All chuckling]

Jervis Tetch, Jonathan Crane, Jerome Valeska.

Each of these madmen has wreaked a different kind of havoc on our city.

Now they're on the loose, and presumably working together, along with several dozen other garden-variety psychopaths.

Know their MOs, their associates, their home turf.

Gotham needs you tonight.

Have each other's backs, and we'll get through this.

Let's go.

All: Yes, sir.

[Phone ringing]

Captain Gordon.

Jim, Jim, Jim.

Why so grim, Jim?

Tetch.

What do you want?

I'm not playing any of your games.

No games this time.

Just some maims, and your own share of blames if you don't do what I tell you.

To wit, James.

Find your way to Wood Street and James Way.

Do it, or I'm gonna k*ll someone!

In case you had any doubts.

It's a setup.

It's also our chance to catch him.

If we can get Tetch, he can lead us to Valeska.

I'll put a squad together...

No.

The force is spread too thin looking for the escapees.

Let's go.

Sure?

You said we had to have each other's backs tonight, right?

I'm following orders, Captain.

I had a thought.

I'll alert the press.

What if we're hypnotized?

What?

Stick with me here.

We both listened to Tetch on the phone.

What if he hypno-ed us into coming down here alone?

That would be pretty stupid, wouldn't it?

So, what, we're either idiots, or we're hypnotized?

Good choices.

You did a good job with the troops back there.

Thanks.

This is Whit Street.

Lights out.

What the hell?

We gotta get them out of there.

No, don't sh**t, they're hypnotized!

They're hypnotized!

Don't sh**t!

Back off!

All right, buddy.

Come on, hey!

Tetch: Lo and behold, the bold Captain Jim Gordon, and his rusty caboose in tow.

You have us, Tetch, let them go.

Do you recall when I first came to this fair city, Jim?

A bawling mess, wanting nothing more than to address the safety of my dear sister, Alice?

What's the choice this time, Tetch?

How do I save them?

Just tell me what you want.

What I want is my sister back!

But you kept me from saving her.

You gave me no choice!

So, no more choices for you, either.

No more saving.

[Chain rattling]

No!

[Grunting]

Soon, the bells will toll, Jim.

How many more will grow cold, Jim?

Like your soul, Jim!

How many would-be flyers will be die-ers?

Splattered like my poor spitted Alice.

When the Gotham bells toll their full roll!

[All clucking]

You said you needed help, but you didn't say anything about walking straight into the GCPD.

You wanna bail out now?

No, I just wanna make sure there's no jewelry debt.

There's no debt.

I helped you to get the jewelry back because I want to help.

Nobody does anything just to help.

Fine.

Once this is over, there will be nothing left to settle between us.

Can you do it?

[Scoffs]

[Lock rattling]

Okay.

[Lock clicks]

Okay, got it.

Which file?

Jerome Valeska.

There'll be a red Arkham stamp on it.

Valeska?

What do you want with that nut?

He broke out of Arkham tonight.

Yeah.

What does it have to do with you?

Can you just get the file before someone sees us?

Man on radio: The largest single breach of security in the troubled history of Arkham Asylum has led to a citywide curfew as many of the worst criminals who have ever plagued Gotham flood the streets.

Twenty-seven deaths have been attributed to the escapees...

The city is going crazy pants.

Can we turn that thing off?

We could be out there making a k*lling while the cops are rounding up all these nutjobs.

I am gonna go nuts if we don't turn that damn thing off!

Man on radio: Please be aware that these escapees are extremely dangerous...

[Radio switches off]

Another migraine?

Nothing a little self-medication won't fix.

And your hand?

Got a pill for that?

[Exhales sharply]

I'll fix it.

I've been reading ancient history, mysticism, philosophy, anything that might reference Ra's al Ghul.

I'm sick of hearing that charlatan's name.

He brought me back to life.

We've never even met.

Why choose me...

[High-pitched ringing]

[Groans]

For all you know, he lied to you.

Maybe he just told you, you were dead.

I mean, you can't even remember what happened.

It hurts to remember.

What?

The att*cks I'm having, it's like memories are trying to push their way into my brain, but when I go to touch them, it's just this searing pain.

You have to let them in.

It hurts too much.

Listen to you, whining like a little baby.

What?

You have been hiding here for weeks, reading these books.

And now, you're telling me you might have all the answers in your head, but don't want to get them because it hurts too much?

You have no idea what you're talking about.

No, I have no idea who I'm talking to.

The Barbara I know wouldn't let anything that she's afraid of stand in the way of what she wants.

Not cops, not criminals, not blood, and not pain.

[Barbara sighs]

I remember when it all went dark.

It was this blinding electric light, and then, nothing.

And then I remember...

[Exhales]

I remember...

[Screams]

[Electricity crackling]

[Groans]

Ra's: I know.

I hear you.

The world and its cruelties, how unfair it's been to you.

I can hear you cursing it.

[Sizzling]

[Gasps]

[Exhales heavily]

What a vital, poisonous little mind you have.

And yet, everybody hates you for it, don't they?

Yes.

Everybody hates me.

I don't know why.

I understand that feeling very well, Barbara.

You are just the one I've been looking for.

And I have a present for you.

But it's a secret.

You shall become The Demon's Head.

The League of Shadows will be yours to command.

An army of assassins.

The world is weak, Barbara.

And you are strong.

Use the League to make the world more like you.

Barbara?

[Breathes heavily]

I'm okay.

Ra's just really...

Understood me.

So, you remember something?

Yeah.

It's a beacon calling them here, and they're coming.

Who?

The League of Shadows.

[Camera shutter clicking]

All right.

Hey!

Same story all around.

Last thing they remember is, they were driving, and then they were here, and then it was cluck cluck, here a chick, there a chick.

Any luck?

Something bad's gonna happen.

And there's a time limit.

That's the Gotham bells' full roll.

Midnight, right?

That's less than an hour.

What's the bad thing that's gonna happen?

I don't know.

He's gonna hypnotize more people?

To do what?

"Splatted like my spitted Alice." His sister Alice jumped, was impaled.

"Flyers will become die-ers." They'll be splatted.

Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on.

[Mouthing]

Bruce Wayne?

What are you doing here?

Detective Harper.

Where is Captain Gordon?

I need to see him.

He's out on the Arkham break.

What do you need?

[Clattering]

I need protection.

Last year, I captured Jerome Valeska.

He's clearly escaped so that he can get his revenge on me.

Okay, I think it's a little bit more than that.

I am very close friends with Captain Gordon.

I'm sure he wants me to be well-protected, but if this is a matter of payment...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Put that away.

What do you want, a bribery charge?

I...

I just...

I'm sorry, I just...

I'm just really scared.

[Sobs]

I know Valeska wants me dead.

I just know it.

Take it easy, Wayne.

All right, you can stay here.

You'll be perfectly safe.

Okay.

All right, Wayne.

Let's find you a seat.

Hold on, we're gonna get you down.

Gordon: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Tetch has them booby-trapped.

If we get too close, they'll jump.

But if we do nothing, they jump at midnight.

How did he get to all of them?

And the drivers, how did he hypnotize all of them?

What's that matter?

We gotta help these people.

We gotta put a net around the building.

A net won't work, Harvey.

Do you know this diner?

Zach's?

No, why?

Look, Valeska's uncle owns it.

He might know where Jerome would go after escaping.

Still sounds like a cop's job to me.

I could've k*lled Jerome after he kidnapped me, and I didn't.

Any harm he does now, I share a part of it.

In a way, I'm responsible for his life now.

I can't just wait to see what the cops will do.

I have to get him back to Arkham.

What?

Your ego, Bruce.

It's huge.

What?

Not everything is your fault, or your responsibility.

Get over yourself.

It'll make you a little easier to be around.

[Car door opens]

Thanks for the advice.

[Selina chuckles]

You sure you don't need my help anymore?

We're even?

You don't owe me anything, Selina.

You never did.

Are you sure you haven't heard from your nephew, Mr.

Trumble?

That monster k*lled my sister.

If I ever see him, his screams are what you'll be hearing.

Just maybe give us a call before things go that far.

[Door bell tinkling]

Jerome: Jeez, there's a lot of gum under here!

Ah.

You're lucky those flat-foots didn't check under the table, Uncle Zach.

[Grunts]

I mean, it's gotta be some kind of health code violation or something.

Harvey: Jim, it's happening all over the city.

Thousands are climbing up on roofs, more every minute.

Drivers, people at work, on the streets, at home.

How's he getting to them?

Radio.

He's broadcasting on radio.

He must have taken over a radio station.

Which one?

We don't have time to hit them all.

The drivers who grabbed us.

They were listening to the same station.

[Radio playing indistinctly]

Gordon: XTJN here.

Harvey: WYED.

WEPV.

They were all on different stations.

He must have commanded them to change the station, so we couldn't find him.

There's only one way to know which one he's using.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no, Harvey.

Harvey, hey!

Harvey.

Hey!

WYED.

Clear.

Harvey, no, let me go...

KPIL.

That toilet-paper jingle I love so much.

I kept Tetch out of my head once before.

I can do it again.

XDNJ!

[Groans]

It's that song I hate.

Come on!

[Music playing]

Jerome: Mmm.

Too cold.

Ah!

Too hot.

Ah!

Oh.

Just right.

Mmm.

You always could cook up a storm, Unc.

I remember back in the circus, we used to dare each other to sneak into the chuck wagon to steal one of your cookies or two.

That reminds me of my favorite meal you ever cooked.

[Taps on table]

You remember that time you caught me trying to snag a snickerdoodle?

Oh.

That soup you made that day.

Mmm, mamma mia.

What was the special ingredient again?

Ah, right.

It was my hand.

The one you dipped in a boiling pot of chicken stock!

That smell, it was...

Mouth-watering.

[Laughs maniacally]

Almost as good as this.

Mmm.

That's a good story, nephew.

But aren't you curious about the soup?

Don't tell me it's poisoned.

[Laughs]

Not at all.

Mmm.

You had me worried there for a second, Unc.

[Chuckles]

I set out three bowls of soup, nephew, so I'd have enough for all my guests.

[Groans]

[Laughs]

You remember Lunkhead from his strongman days at the circus?

The minute I heard you broke out, I knew you'd be headed here.

So, I invited good old Lunk for some supper.

The "just right" soup is for him, the "cold" is for me.

I always loved gazpacho!

[Laughing]

The "too hot," that's for you, nephew.

[Grunting]

[Laughing maniacally]

[Electricity crackling]

I'm just saying, how could there be a global army of assassins we've never heard of?

What part of "League of Shadows" do you not understand?

And they're coming here?

To me.

They're coming to me.

Well, hell, Barb, shouldn't we be getting ready for them or something?

Oh, I'm ready.

As soon as they wanna show themselves.

What?

You can stop hiding.

[Electricity surging]

I know you're there.

We're here for The Demon's Head.

Where is he?

"She" is right here.

Harvey!

WZPZ.

Tetch on radio: Time to climb to the tippy-top of every tower.

When the bell strikes 12:00...

Jim!

WZPZ.

Pell-mell over the edge...

Stop listening.

That's an order, you hear me?

Stop listening.

WZPZ.

Change the station.

Come on, Harvey, change the station.

[Radio stops playing]

Oh, whoa.

Wait...

Sorry, pal, there's something I gotta do.

Hickory dickory dock The cop who went up the clock The clock struck 12:00 He fell pell-mell And that was it for the cop.

Harper: Gotham Central.

Harper, it's Gordon.

Cap, it is crazy here.

I got seven cops ready to jump, I got calls coming in from everywhere.

It's Tetch, he's broadcasting from the WZPZ station.

Okay, I'll redirect units.

No, I want all cars on the street, ready to amplify in the emergency G911 band.

Radio teams on as many roads as possible.

And then what?

Wait for my signal.

[Grunts]

Wait, wait, wait.

No, no.

No!

[Laughs]

Here, nephew.

Have a taste of one of my three soups.

Jerome: No, no, no, no.

[Gags]

My sister had the wrong idea with you, keeping you around.

She should have put you in a sack with some rocks and dropped you in the river!

[Coughs]

Put this creep out of our misery.

[Groans]

What the hell are you doing?

Get outta here, kid.

No.

Look, kid, I appreciate a concerned citizen and all, but this is Jerome Valeska, the psycho who broke out of Arkham tonight.

And what we're doing is giving him what he deserves.

No one deserves that.

You tell him...

Shut up.

Bruce: Stop.

Call the police, and they'll come for him.

Aw, jeez, let him go.

And get rid of the kid.

[Laughs]

Look what we left lying around.

Enough reliving old memories, Uncle Zach.

Tell me what I wanna know.

You know why I'm here.

I don't know anything!

It's too bad we're out of soup.

I wonder what else is on the menu.

Ah!

She's got the mark of The Demon's Head.

Ra's chose her.

She doesn't even know what it is.

I know it means I'm your new damn leader.

Is that all you think it is?

Ra's didn't explain everything.

Look at the mess he's left us with.

You have the mark of The Demon's Head, but no woman has ever been allowed to lead the League of Shadows.

I'm sorry, you just said what?

Women serve in the League, but they do not lead.

That's not a law, just a stupid tradition.

Ra's chose her.

We need to honor his choice.

That's true.

As long as you have The Demon's Head, the League must follow you.

Now, we're back on track.

So, I guess I'll have to cut The Demon's Head from you.

[Groans]

Anyone else want a sh*t at the title?

Jerome: Here comes the airplane.

No, no, no.

No, no, I'll tell you!

I'll tell you.

She picked St.

Ignatius!

The school is St.

Ignatius!

Got it.

Lost it.

Write it down.

[Bruce grunts]

Thanks.

It's been great catching up, Uncle Zach.

You really brought back the utter helplessness of childhood.

Well, see you around.

I mean, except the opposite.

Boy billionaire Bruce Wayne, my savior.

Wow, I did not see that one coming.

[Chuckles]

Uh, you know, with Uncle Zach, the beatings just never stopped.

They went on and on.

And nobody ever helped me.

Ever.

And that makes a man wonder, what the hell is wrong with you?

[Laughing manically]

The only thing funnier than you saving my life, would be if I saved yours.

No!

No.

Wait.

What would be funnier is if you were choked to death by the guy that you saved me from.

Yeah, yeah, we'll do that instead.

Yeah, yeah, do your thing.

[Laughing maniacally]

Almost magic hour, Gothamites.

Time to climb to the tippy-top of every tower.

When the bell strikes 12:00, throw yourselves, pell-mell over the edge, onto your heads!

[g*n cocks]

[Gasps]

Shut up, Tetch.

[Radio static]

This is Captain Gordon of the GCPD.

Am I coming through?

You're coming through.

They can hear you all over the city.

All right, Tetch, you're gonna tell those people to step back from the ledge.

No tricks.

You go off-script, and I'll sh**t pieces off you till you do what I say.

I would love to do as you command, Jim.

But sadly, I've tied my own hands.

[Chuckles]

Your hands?

[Laughs]

[Screaming]

[Grunts]

[Panting]

I can't stop them.

If anyone tells them to save themselves, they'll jump.

You're more than welcome to try, Jim.

Obey the next voice you hear!

Tell them anything, it will not matter when the bells start to ring.

Your oh-so-callous caused the death of my darling Alice, Jim.

Try, and they die.

Stand by, and they all try to fly.

[Laughs]

Cap?

Cap, what do we do?

How do we save them?

[Laughing maniacally]

I could watch this all night, Bruce!

[Laughing]

Hands off, big boy.

[Grunts]

Still don't need my help, Bruce?

Selina.

"Selina," huh?

Well, isn't that a nice name.

[g*n clicks]

Selina.

No, no, no.

She's not that kind of girl.

Wrong answer, freak.

Oh.

That's funny, 'cause...

[Laughs maniacally]

[Panting]

Oh, all right, see you crazy kids later!

Ciao!

You should've let me sh**t him.

Would've been over by now.

Selina, I told you I'm responsible for him.

I can't just let him be sh*t, Selina, I can't.

I'm not taking responsibility for this mess.

So, let's get out of here before the cops show up.

Yeah?

Come on.

It's not over yet.

[Exhales deeply]

Hey, suit yourself.

Just don't take so much responsibility, that you get yourself k*lled.

[Swords clanking]

Some legacy your dead boyfriend left you.

No.

Ra's chose me for a reason.

I know it.

[Barbara gasps]

You're weak.

You're all so damn weak.

That's it.

That is why Ra's chose me.

Because he knew I would see how pitiful you all are.

Afraid of change, afraid to take orders from a woman.

Well, listen up!

I am The Demon's Head!

So, you sons of b*tches better start bowing down right now, or it's gonna get ugly up in here.

[Rapid g*n f*ring]

You're right.

They were weak.

And the mission of the League of Shadows is to cull weakness.

They were unfit and needed to die.

But the sisters of the League are yours to command.

Well, it's not much of a league now, is it?

We're the point of the spear, Barbara.

Hundreds will follow you.

What the hell?

You have no idea what they expect from you.

This is mine, Tabitha.

And I'm taking it.

Tell me what I need to know.

[Wind whooshing]

[Bell tolling]

[Siren wails]

Harper: Cap, what do we do?

[Bell continues tolling]

I can't save you.

Save each other.

Save each other.

Save each other.

Harper: It worked.

It worked.

They're stepping away.

[Gasps]

What?

I got you.

I got you.

[Cheering]

[Sighs]

Heard we got nothing from Tetch about Valeska's plans.

Not a word the whole time the medics were patching him up.

Still, 40 escapees back in the can, and a lot of people with their feet safely on the ground.

You need a drink.

I don't keep it around.

Squirrels hide nuts for the winter.

I got this for whenever.

I don't belong here.

I don't deserve to be here.

Not in this office, not in this building.

By rights, I should be in jail.

No argument from me.

But say you were in jail, sucking on your own misery, where would the thousands of people you saved tonight be, huh?

Where would I be?

What you did tonight was heroic.

You could've done what I did.

Anyone could have.

You know what I was thinking when I jumped in that car and I was flicking through those channels?

I was thinking, "I can do this crazy thing "'cause if it goes sideways, Jim Gordon will save me." And here we are.

Who I am, what I've always said I believe in, it's like it's a lie now, Harvey.

Feet of clay are heavy to carry around.

That's what the whiskey's for.

I judged you.

For a long time.

I shouldn't have done that.

What you know about me, Jim, is just the tip of the iceberg.

There are no heroes here.

No heroes here.

[Knocking on door]

Yeah?

Got the Wayne kid on line three.

Something about Valeska.

[Door closes]

Gordon: Bruce, are you okay?

I saw Jerome Valeska tonight.

He k*lled his uncle.

What?

He was looking for the name of a school, St.

Ignatius.

Why?

I'm on my way to find out.

No, wherever you are, stay put.

Valeska is my problem as much as anyone's.

I'm going after him.

Damn it, Bruce.

Stay the hell away from that madman.

I'll see you at St.

Ignatius, Jim.

You can yell at me there.

Bruce...

[Line disconnects]

Kid in trouble again?

More than he can handle.

Let's go.

[Tires screeching]

[Gasps]

[Screaming]

How do you like the new threads?

Hmm?

Oh, speechless, I know.

[Gasps]

Crane: You look a fright, Mr.

Tetch.

Somewhat lame, my dear Mr.

Crane.

But I do confess pure joy in besting Jimmy boy with our ploy.

Yeah, yeah, you did a great job keeping Gordon occupied, meanwhile, Crane got his Fear gas, I got my information.

Everything is going according to my plan.

But no time to palaver, gentlemen.

We have fish to fry.

And by "fish," I mean faces.

Or feet.

Ah!

Something fun to fry.

Buckle up.

All aboard!

Ooh, I'm coming!

[Laughing maniacally]