05x13 - New Directions

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Glee". Aired May 2009 - March 2015.*
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A high school teacher tries to reinvent the Glee Club.
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05x13 - New Directions

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay, Holly, Will Schuester, Mr. Figgins, Brad the piano player?

Oh, that's easy.

I'd bang Will Schuester, marry Figgins, and push Brad the piano player off a cliff.

What?

No way.

Holly, I'd marry Will and have sex with Figgins.

See, I've gotten real good at getting my soul to float above my body when I'm doing the nasty.

So I'd cringe my way through a sweaty hump session with Figgins, and bone Will Schuester well into my 60s.

Oh, fantastic.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't April Rhodes, America's favorite alcoholic dwarf whore.

Oh, thank you, Sue.

Holly and I were just playing k*ll, Marry, or Bone.

Well, April, as you have absolutely no business whatsoever on this campus, normally, I would have you physically removed.

However, since you seem to be hanging out with the willowy and winning Holly Holliday, I am willing to make an exception.

Hey, girl.

Thanks, Coach.

Wait a second.

You guys know each other?

Oh, you bet your sweet ass we do.

Yup, the minute I met Miss Holliday, we immediately hit it off, and we've been best of friends ever since.

Mm-hmm.

We're auditioning for The Amazing Race.

I'm Principal Sue Sylvester.

And I'm Substitute Holly Holliday.

And together we are...

Team Gorgeous!

As a seven-time national championship cheerleading coach, I know what it's like to work as a team.

And I'm looking forward to the physical challenges.

And I'm looking forward to eating those half-formed fetal duck eggs!

So, Sue, um, April and I were just talking...

No.

I'm sorry, Holly.

The glee club's over.

Okay, I know.

I just, um...

I was just thinking, you know, just 'cause Glee Club is over doesn't mean that there can't be any music at the school, right?

What you getting at, Holly?

I mean, you know, there are plenty of other clubs in this school.

Maybe we could work a little music into some of them.

That's right, Holly.

You know, it's a proven fact, when you put music in the classroom, test scores go up.

Oh, please, dear God, shut up.

Sue, we're just asking for one week.

Fine.

You have one week to somehow shoehorn music into McKinley's extracurricular clubs.

But, please, see if you can't involve William in this somehow.

It'll soften the blow of the glee club's cancellation.

Ooh!

This time in a person's life is supposed to feel fresh and full of possibility.

But unlike every other senior at this school, I seem to be the only one still waiting by the phone to be invited to the dance.

I got rejected by my backup school, Ohio State, and Brown still hasn't told me if I got in yet.

And at this point, I'm taking desperate measures.

I get it.

I was adopted, and I've never been to temple.

But all of my friends are going to be in New York, and Mitzvah is the only school that is still accepting for fall semester.

I wrote an essay about why the reason I'm applying so late was because I was on a kibbutz, whatever that is.

So, here we go.

Fingers crossed.

I just got to get to New York somehow.

Well, what are you guys doing?

Well, Mr.

Shue wanted us to pack away the trophies before Sue came in and had the Cheerios!

do it.

No, don't get upset.

Oh.

I'm upset.

Guys, you might want to sit down for this.

I have some huge news.

You guys got married and adopted Russian twin babies.

Yes!

Blaine got into NYADA!

I got into NYADA!

Oh, my God!

Congratulations!

Congratulations.

Wow!

Oh, my God!

You guys, do you know what this means?

All of us...

we're all going to New York together!

Oh!

You guys, we're gonna miss our shift!

Ew!

Oh.

Hey!

Hey!

If I wanted to watch men in capri pants slobbering all over each other, I'd watch Monday Night Football.

Whoa!

Man, those ten flights of stairs are a bitch.

I wish this apartment had an elevator.

It does.

Now you tell me!

Sam, where are your clothes?

Oh.

I think I left 'em at the Laundromat.

Again?

Aah!

Rachel, quit hogging the bathroom!

I'm never coming out of here!

That's what I said sophomore year of high school.

I'm serious!

Open the G-dang door!

I'm never getting spray-tanned again at a Vietnamese doughnut shop.

Where do we keep the ketchup?

Mike Chang!

What are you doing here?

I'm here to win Tina back.

Did I say that out loud?

Also, I'm here to teach dance to the homeless, and I brought a few chums to help me out.

Sam, where's your clothes?

Oh.

I knew I forgot something.

Oh, my gosh, Tina, I-I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm great.

You guys, New York, it's gonna be amazing.

You know, being here with everyone has brought so many good feelings and memories, and...

I mean, look at Puck and Quinn.

I mean, I have no idea what's going on there, nor do I know where her boyfriend ran off to, but it looks like we can be expecting another "accidental" pregnancy sometime soon.

Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah!

- But, alas, with the old good feelings come the old bad ones, too.

Why, just today, Mercedes and I were in the lunch line when a battle from way back in the day came out, a-and we found ourselves at each other's throats again.

They have zero nutritional value.

Listen, potatoes are vegetables, okay?

And Tots are made from potatoes.

Ergo, Tots are vegetables.

Well, I'd like some kind of proof of how much potato is actually in there.

And ruin the mystery?

What in the hell is wrong with you?

Move it.

Yes, I know.

It's really hard to see friends fighting, but I'm just glad that none of you guys were there to see it.

I was right behind you in line.

Because the most upsetting thing is watching two people you love fight about something ridiculous and there not being anything you can do to stop it.

But, thankfully, we made up and we have never been closer.

- Mmm.

- And we've decided to heal our hearts with a song.

♪ I am ♪

♪ Changing ♪

♪ Trying every way I can ♪

♪ I am changing ♪

♪ I'll be better than I am ♪

♪ I'm trying ♪

♪ To find a way ♪

♪ To understand ♪

♪ But I need you ♪

♪ I need you ♪

♪ I need ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Hand ♪

♪ I am changing ♪

♪ Seeing everything so clear ♪

♪ I am changing ♪

♪ I'm gonna start right now, right here ♪

♪ But I need a friend ♪

♪ To help me start all over again ♪

♪ Oh, that would be just ♪

♪ Fine ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ I know it's gonna work out ♪

♪ This time ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ 'Cause this time I am ♪

♪ This time I am... ♪

♪ I am ♪

♪ Changing ♪

♪ I'll get my life together now ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ I am changing ♪

♪ Yes, I know how ♪

♪ I'm gonna start again ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave my past behind ♪

♪ I'll change my life ♪

♪ I'll make a vow ♪

♪ And nothing's gonna stop ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Now... ♪

You remember when we first met?

I was in here doing my hair...

Are you trying to make peace with me by getting all nostalgic?

Because, if so, you are forgetting the one thing that you should have learned from all of our magical time together, and it's that I have no heart.

Look, I've been unkind to you, okay?

And-and I won't get into the whole thing about how watching Kurt and Mercedes sing got me all sentimental because I know you'll just make fun of me for it.

No, you know what?

Go ahead, please.

Because if I don't express my venom at least once a day, I get constipated.

I want to give you ten shows.

Any ten shows after the first three months, all right?

And you can pick.

They can be ten in a row or one at a time.

It's a peace offering.

That way, your mom can come or your abuela.

I just...

I don't want to do this anymore.

It's exhausting and it's depressing.

No.

I want them all.

The only reason why you're doing this for me is because you know that I'm gonna go all Showgirls on you and win.

No more scraps, Rachel.

I will be happy and kiss and be friends once you give me the part.

God, what is it about anymore with you, Santana?

I just...

I don't get it.

Yeah.

I'm just not sold on the whole idea.

Will, this is going to work.

I swear.

You just have to trust me.

Okay...

Hey there, Animal Husbandry Club!

I'm animal rights activist Temple Grandin!

Overcoming autism gave me insight into how to slaughter livestock in a more humane way.

I think in pictures, not words, and I'm hypersensitive to loud noise!

But that don't mean I don't know how to party.

Hit it!

♪ Girl, I can't understand it ♪

♪ Why you want to hurt me ♪

♪ After all of the things I've done for you ♪

♪ I buy you champagne and roses, put diamonds ♪

♪ On your finger, diamonds on your finger ♪

♪ Still you hang out all night, what am I to do? ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ She parties all the time ♪

♪ Girl, I've seen you in clubs ♪

♪ Just hanging out and dancing ♪

♪ You give your number to every man you see ♪

♪ You never come home at night ♪

♪ Because you're out romancing ♪

♪ I wish you'd bring some of your love home to me ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time, party all ♪

♪ The time... ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ She likes to party all the time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Parties all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ My girl wants to, yeah ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ My girl wants to party all the time, party ♪

♪ All the time... ♪

How's that for a field trip?!

Oh, my God.

Are these all lilies?

They're the lesbian of flowers.

I also...

got you this.

Two tickets to Lesbos Island?

But these are both one-way.

Yeah, I figured once we arrived at the girl-on-girl paradise that is Lesbos that we'd never want to leave.

Okay, listen.

Brittany, I love you, but running away with me and living on a lesbian island is not what you want to do.

You just don't want to go back to MIT.

And you shouldn't.

Just because your amazing mathematical mind can solve all the world's problems doesn't mean that it has to.

It's not your dream, and neither is being with me.

You're one to talk.

Since when is becoming a Broadway star your goal in life?

A star is a star.

It doesn't matter where in the sky I shine.

I don't want to run away with you because I want to run away.

I want to run away with you because you and I are the only truly awesome people I've ever met, and I'm tired of doing stuff that only matters to people less awesome than us.

Okay, but this isn't like your math stuff.

I'm going to be rich and famous.

This is a great first step for me.

And, besides, I'm not gonna let that dwarf Berry win.

Listen...

you have spent most of your life in the closet because you cared about what people thought about you.

Walking away from a dream that you don't actually care about is you winning, because it's you saying, "This is not who I am, and I don't care who knows it." You know, it's funny.

I spend months tangled up in knots, and in five minutes, you straighten me out.

Mm.

You really are a genius.

I'm just the world's foremost expert in the field of Santana Lopez.

So...

what do you want to do?

My life is literally over.

Where the hell did all these flowers come from?

What's wrong, Tina?

Nothing.

Just the fact that I'm going to spend the rest of my life in Lima because I'm not Jewish enough.

Dear Tina, Mitzvah University was delighted to receive your application, albeit five weeks late.

However, we know the truth.

Your name is not Tina Cohen.

You are Tina Cohen-Chang.

You are a big, fat liar.

I didn't get into Mitzvah, so I guess I'm the only one in this room who's not going to New York.

Why?

You don't need a college acceptance letter to get over that bridge.

I can't just go there without some kind of plan.

Well, uh, Kurt did, and I think he's doing pretty great.

It's an adventure.

Not for me.

You don't understand.

Without some kind of direction, I just feel like a giant, free-floating loser.

Yeah, like me.

And me.

And me.

♪ You may think that I'm a zero ♪

♪ And everyone you want to be ♪

♪ Probably started off like me ♪

♪ You may say that I'm a freak show ♪

♪ But give it just a little time ♪

♪ I bet you're gonna change your mind ♪

♪ All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way ♪

♪ It ain't so hard to take ♪

♪ 'Cause I know one day ♪

♪ You'll be screamin' my name ♪

♪ And I'll just look away ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll just look away ♪

♪ Just go ahead and hate on me ♪

♪ Run your mouth so everyone can hear ♪

♪ Hit me with the worst you got ♪

♪ Knock me down ♪

♪ Baby, I don't care ♪

♪ Keep it up, and soon enough ♪

♪ You'll figure out ♪

♪ You wanna be ♪

♪ You wanna be ♪

♪ A loser like me ♪

♪ Push me up against the locker ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ All I do is shake it off ♪

♪ I'll get you back when I'm your boss ♪

♪ I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ And I could be a superstar ♪

♪ I'll see you when you wash my car ♪

♪ And all of the dirt you've been throwin' my way ♪

♪ It ain't so hard to take ♪

♪ Oh, and, and ♪

♪ I know one day you'll be screamin' my name ♪

♪ And I'll just look away ♪

♪ Just go ahead and hate on me ♪

♪ And run your mouth ♪

♪ Run your mouth ♪

♪ So everyone can hear ♪

♪ Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down ♪

♪ And knock me down ♪

♪ Baby, I don't care ♪

♪ Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out ♪

♪ You wanna be ♪

♪ You wanna be ♪

♪ You wanna be ♪

♪ A loser like me ♪

♪ Loo-oo-oo-oo ♪

♪ A loser like me ♪

♪ A loser like me. ♪

Ooh, that was nice.

Hey, please, please, please, please come to New York.

You don't need a plan.

You'll figure something out once you get there.

We can get an apartment.

You guys are the best.

Let's do this.

Yeah.

Nick, I'm a good friend of yours, and in a dumb way, I'm kind of smart.

So I'm gonna tell you what you ought to do.

You ought to marry me.

So I'm gonna tell you what you ought to do.

- You ought to ma...

- Well...

you certainly are dedicated.

Well, under normal circumstances I would be, but considering the fact that I have to worry about you pushing me off the stage at any moment, I can't slip, even for a second.

Well, I don't like that.

You have been dreaming about this role since you were in gay-utero.

And you have actually worked your tiny butt off to get it, and I'm coming and sucking all the celebration out of it.

Why?

Honestly, like, what have I ever done to you?

Nothing.

I'm just not a particularly nice person.

And sometimes I make choices that seem like the right thing at the time, but then, looking back, they're actually kind of mean.

Listen, I don't want to be a Broadway star.

I'm too lazy to do eight shows a week.

Wait.

So, does...

does that mean that you're quitting the show?

I texted gay-face director ten minutes ago, and said, "I hereby resign as U.S.

of this production of F.G." - Pithy.

- Listen, don't get all sentimental on me or anything like that.

I'm really happy for you, but I didn't do this for you.

I did this entirely for myself.

I know, and that was very brave of you.

But do you think that we could maybe at least sing a song together in the glee club?

Fine.

But I'm not gonna sing some tired old song that we've already done.

'Cause Santana Lopez is way too badass for that.

♪ Fresh cut grass ♪

♪ One cold beer ♪

♪ Thank the Lord ♪

♪ I am here and now ♪

♪ Here and now ♪

♪ Summer dress ♪

♪ Favorite park ♪

♪ Bless your soul ♪

♪ We are here and now ♪

♪ Here and now ♪

♪ I'm wide awake ♪

♪ So what's the point of dreaming ♪

♪ When your life is great ♪

♪ Celebrate the feeling ♪

♪ Celebrate the feeling ♪

♪ Oh, can't complain about much these days ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Can't complain about much these days ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ We'll scream it out ♪

♪ We'll scream it out ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ We'll be okay ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ We'll be okay ♪

♪ Can't complain about much these days ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

♪ Can't complain about much these days ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Can't complain about much these days ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ We'll scream it out ♪

♪ We'll scream it out ♪

♪ I believe we'll be okay ♪

♪ We'll be okay. ♪

Oh, thank God.

I have before me a buttload of angry letters from members of the Animal Husbandry Club, their parents, state and local politicians, the National Autism Association, as well as One Million Moms.

Although in actuality, there aren't a million of them.

There's really only 100,000, but each and every one of 'em is an uptight bitch.

I hardly need to tell you that this will mark the end of your extracurricular musical experiment.

I understand.

I'm sorry about this, Sue.

It won't happen again.

Will.

Will.

Will, Will.

Wait one second, please.

This isn't over yet.

We can go to the hockey team, and we can do Glee on Ice.

Please.

Stop.

Look, it's finished.

The glee club is over.

All I want to do is just get through this week and-and try to enjoy graduation.

I've accepted it.

It's done.

Artie Pants, I need you.

Oh, finally.

I'm in love with you, too.

Just give me a second.

I'm gonna send Kitty - a breakup text.

- What?

No, this is about Will.

Oh.

Y-You're in love with Will?

No.

I'm not in love with anyone.

Get your camera equipment, meet me in the Spanish room.

♪ Right from the start ♪

♪ You were a thief, you stole my heart ♪

♪ And I, your willing victim ♪

♪ I let you see the parts of me ♪

♪ That weren't all that pretty ♪

♪ And with every touch, you fixed them ♪

♪ Now you've been talking in your sleep ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Things you never say to me ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Tell me that you've had enough ♪

♪ Of our love ♪

♪ Our love ♪

♪ Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough ♪

♪ Just a second, we're not broken, just bent,

♪ And we can learn to love again ♪

♪ It's in the stars ♪

♪ It's been written in the scars on our hearts ♪

♪ We're not broken, just bent ♪

♪ And we can learn to love again ♪

♪ I'm sorry, I don't understand ♪

♪ Where all this is coming from ♪

♪ I thought ♪

♪ That we were fine ♪

♪ Yeah, but this is happenin' ♪

♪ You've been having real bad dreams ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ You used to lie so close to me ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ There's nothing more than empty sheets ♪

♪ Between our love ♪

♪ Our love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Just give me a reason ♪

♪ Just a little bit's enough, just a second ♪

♪ We're not broken, just bent ♪

♪ And we can learn to love again ♪

♪ It's in the stars ♪

♪ It's still written in the scars ♪

♪ On our hearts that we're not broken, just bent ♪

♪ And we can learn to love again ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ah. ♪


I'd like to make an announcement.

Puck has asked me to go out with him as boyfriend and girlfriend.

'Cause, you know, we've never actually dated.

So, um, I decided to throw caution to the wind and say yes.

Wait, what?

Yeah, I-I can't make any promises, but, you know, you're the only guy who's actually been okay with me just being myself.

Well, once you've seen a baby come out of a girl's magic garden, everything else is easily acceptable.

I think I love you, Puck.

And I know it's not gonna be easy, what with me in New Haven and you...

who knows where.

But I'd rather do hard with you than easy with somebody else.

Wanky.

Santana, for once, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your inevitable snark to yourself.

No, no.

Look, I got to be honest, I really like this pairing.

Come here.

Well, in many ways, that brings us full circle, which is perfect because that was officially...

the last song that will ever be sung in Glee Club.

We all have more songs to sing.

We just can't sing them in here anymore.

Glee Club...

is officially over.

Thank you, guys.

It's been an honor.

Hey.

So, we don't actually know your name because this video was made before you were born, but you are the son or daughter of our teacher.

Will Schuester.

You know, many of us don't get to know our dads as men until they're older, past middle age, maybe a little beaten down by life.

But we want to tell you about what your dad was like when he was young.

When he could dance like Fred Astaire.

And sing like Michael Bublé.

He was an amazing teacher.

Your dad and I almost hooked up, which means I could have been your mom.

Hit me up when you want your first tattoo.

I know a guy.

If it wasn't for your dad, I would've never been Prom Queen, though that was kind of a bad experience for me when I think about it.

But I still would've been living my life with a fake stutter.

You had to be there.

Okay, it may seem a little weird to you, but back here in the Dark Ages, it was still crazy for girls to love girls and guys to love guys, but your dad made sure that we felt safe loving whoever we chose.

He does this magic trick where he pulls a duck out of a hat.

You should have him show you sometime.

Your dad had a passion for teaching.

He really loved that moment when he connected with a kid.

And he was prone to overemotional yet often inspiring pep talks.

To put it simply, I was not a particularly nice person.

That sweater's legit.

And then your dad came along, and I became a man who was kind a relatively large portion of the time.

I can say without a doubt that your dad saved my life.

Little Hepburn and Tracy wouldn't have a daddy if it wasn't for your dad.

Those are the names of my kids who aren't born yet either.

We used a surrogate.

I donated the egg.

In the whole wide world, you'll never meet a man more accepting and open to nature in all its wonders than your father.

He's a gem.

The best thing about your dad and that horrible perm of his is that no matter how talentless, misshapen, ugly, miserable or sexually ambiguous you are, he will still love you unconditionally.

Your dad made sure that everyone in this school understood what it was like to see the world from this chair, and he helped me see all that I could be even though I was in it.

He is the most genuine...

honest...

...kind...

generous...

...sand dollar...

amazing man any of us have ever met.

He loved and looked after every one of us with as much care and concern as he does for you.

We love your dad.

We love him very, very much, and no matter where we are or what we're doing, he's with us.

Because we have his name tattooed in our hearts.

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da... ♪

♪ Just a small town girl ♪

♪ Livin' in a lonely world ♪

♪ She took the midnight train going anywhere ♪

♪ Just a city boy ♪

♪ Born and raised in South Detroit ♪

♪ He took the midnight train ♪

♪ Going anywhere ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ A singer in a smoky room ♪

♪ A smell of wine and cheap perfume ♪

♪ For a smile they can share the night ♪

♪ It goes on and on and on and on ♪

♪ Strangers waiting ♪

♪ Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ Their shadows ♪

♪ Searching in the night ♪

♪ Da, da ♪

♪ Streetlight people ♪

♪ Livin' just to find emotion ♪

♪ Hiding ♪

♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ In the night ♪

♪ Working hard to get my fill ♪

♪ Everybody wants a thrill ♪

♪ Paying anything to roll the dice ♪

♪ Just one more time ♪

♪ Some will win ♪

♪ Some will lose ♪

♪ Some were born to sing the blues ♪

♪ Oh, the movie never ends ♪

♪ It goes on and on and on and on ♪

♪ Strangers ♪

♪ Waiting ♪

♪ Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ Their shadows searching ♪

♪ In the night ♪

♪ In the night! ♪

♪ Streetlight ♪

♪ People ♪

♪ People! ♪

♪ Livin' just to find emotion ♪

♪ Hiding ♪

♪ Hiding ♪

♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ In the night ♪

♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Believin' ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Hold on to that feeling ♪

♪ Streetlight ♪

♪ People, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Believin' ♪

♪ Hold on to that feeling ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Streetlight ♪

♪ People ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Don't stop! ♪

You done good, Holly Holliday.

You, too, babe.

Our work is done here.

We did it flawlessly and looked flawless while doing it.

Amen.

Hey, do you want to go get drunk, rob a bank and sail around the world on one of those gayboy cruise ships?

We'd be the only women there and get all the attention.

I thought you'd never ask.

Kitty, when you see me in the hall, will you say hello?

Of course.

Someone's got to tell you your shoes don't match your purse.

Cheerio, please.

My shoes always match.

I cannot believe that Sue Sylvester finally shut us down.

She won.

She actually won.

You guys, you're gonna miss my big moment.

Get your butts to the auditorium.

Hang on a second.

Sue Sylvester didn't win.

Maybe she took away Glee Club, but she'll never take away what we had.

We were part of something incredible.

It was more than that.

You know, we helped each other become better people in this room.

No one can ever take that away from us.

Come here.

Bring it in, guys.

Come here.

You remember Superman?

I do, that was good.

That was good.

This broom is poking me in places I don't...

Arthur Abrams.

Blaine Anderson.

Tina Cohen-Chang.

Sam Evans.

Rebecca Jackson.

Blaine, you guys, I can't go to New York with you.

Tina Cohen-Crazy.

You can't get cold feet on us now.

No, it's not that.

I was gonna tell you later, but the Dean of Admissions from Brown called me this morning...

And you got in?

I got in.

I'm going to Brown!

Oh!

Tina.

Congratulations.

Wow, that is great.

Thank you.

And, finally...

Brittany S.

Pierce.

I called in some favors with Sue.

I figure that everybody deserves a high school graduation, even if it's a year late.

You guys, I'm graduating.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the William McKinley High graduating class of 2013.

Brittany, I have to tell you something.

I think I've made a huge mistake.

You don't want to run away with me, do you.

What?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Of course I do.

I was doing some research on Lesbos island, and it turns out that it's not chock-full of lesbians.

It's full of German tourists, so, I bought us our return tickets.

I think that we should go to Lesbos first, and then Hawaii for a couple of weeks, and then come home.

Well, I don't want to go back to MIT and I can't return to Lima.

I want you to come to New York with me.

Is that a yes?

Yes.

Here for one last verbal beatdown?

These are my last two Razzle Dazzle Fruit Punch wine coolers from my cellar.

Company went out of business back in the '80s, and I've been saving them for a special occasion.

Well, what could be more special than the glee club's funeral?

Mm.

Well...

You finally won.

Honestly, I-I don't get the way you see the world, William, but I got to give you this: whatever it is you did in this room, you changed a lot of kids' lives for the better.

And your own.

As you know, I find both of your spouses intolerable and bony, but at least this one is kind to you.

Yeah, I'm not gonna miss this.

Oh, I am.

Nobody ever went the distance with Sue Sylvester the way you did, Will.

My whole life I've been searching for a worthy adversary.

I'm gonna miss the fight.

I could have done more.

There's still so many more kids out there.

Well, who says you can't?

Listen, William, you were a horrible history teacher and you were a worse Spanish teacher.

If you're going to be of any good to anybody, you need to be coaching a glee club.

Which is why I got you an interview for the open slot at Carmel High.

Vocal Adrenaline?

Think of what you could accomplish with a real budget.

And without somebody like me constantly trying to take you down?

Wow.

I mean, tha-that's really amazing, Sue, but they're our mortal enemies.

There is no "our" anymore, William.

We're in the middle of the new computer lab.

You did what you could do here.

And that was much more than I will ever care to admit.

But it's really over.

It's only an interview.

You could always blow it.

Oh, God, that's awful.

Yeah, that's why they went out of business.

I'll give you a minute.

Being great at something's going to change it.

Being a part of something special makes you - special, right?

- I was tossing kids into Dumpsters.

I had never kissed a girl before.

I wasn't honest about who I was.

Five...

And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Shue, because you are Glee Club.

'Cause in this room it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight.

What matters is that we're friends.

The struggle continues, but...

at least I know I'm not alone.

If I'd let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never forgive myself.

We went around the room and everybody said what they wanted to win this thing for, and we all said the same thing.

We want to win this for you.
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