04x04 - Don't Look Back in Anger

[bunniefuu]

♪ Aha-ha

♪ Aha-ha

♪ Aha-ha

♪ I crossed the Mississippi ♪

♪ Went searching for a sound ♪

♪ Set fire to the real nitty gritty ♪

♪ And my feet never touched the ground ♪

♪ I turned it inside out ♪

♪ Till I couldn't tell which way was down ♪

♪ MY whispers turned to shouts ♪

♪ Now my feet don't touch the ground ♪

♪ My feet don't touch the ground ♪

♪ My feet don't touch the ground ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Get higher ♪

♪ Get higher ♪

♪ Get higher ♪

♪ Get higher ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

[LAUGHING]

You like my trail, huh?

- Your trail?

- Yeah.

That's why I run it so much faster than you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You look so familiar.

You know, from the nose up.

Well, you've been eating my dust for... what?

Like two weeks?

- [LAUGHS]

- Right?

Yeah, we'll call it a tie, huh?

[CHUCKLING]

Okay.

You go to the grocery store on nd?

No, farmers' market guy.

I prefer my food like I like my women.

[BOTH LAUGH]

What, hot and sweaty?

Organic and disease-free.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, okay.

I'll, uh, show you mine if you show me yours.

- Sure.

- Yeah?

Warehouse fire.

- Right!

- Oh, my God.

Uh, you're with...

?

- Yeah, yeah!

- I'm at .

Oh.

Oh.

Damn.

This was going so well.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Theo.

Ruiz.

Yeah, I'm Vic.

Hughes.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Vic Hughes.

♪ Get higher ♪

♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

I-I always dreamed of living inside a Buca di Beppo, and... and now we do.

Carina is hanging all this to dry.

She says that it reminds her of home.

What do I do with this?

I don't know.

Throw a dinner party?

[SNIFFS]

Oh, you like that one?

It's Basilio.

Pesto-flavored and made from unpasteurized sheep's milk.

Mmm.

Uh, we're gonna be late.

♪ Aha-ha ♪

♪ Aha-ha ♪

I love you!

♪ Aha-ha ♪

♪ Aha-ha ♪

I don't know if I can do it.

- Hmm?

- Treat Sullivan like a probie.

I mean, the guy looks like he came out of the womb telling the doctor what to do.

Yeah, this is definitely gonna be weird.

I'm just glad I'm not the new guy anymore.

JACK: Hey, hey, check it out.

Seattle Fire's new face of professionalism...

Custom masks!

- Nice!

- Huh?

- Look at this.

- Yeah, they're nice.

- Not bad, right?

- Looks good, looks good.

- Yeah?

- Very good.

These are gonna save some lives right here.

Dude, we look like we're in "Mortal Kombat."

[ALL SHOUTING]

You guys look like Charlie's Angels.

That's really cute.

Totally see that now.

Lieutenant.

Ah.

Robert Sullivan.

You must be the [CHUCKLES]

the new recruit.

Reporting for duty.

[SIGHS]

How am I supposed to stay away from you when I have to watch you rescue kittens and children every day?

- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

- We...

We keep it professional.

Shop talk.

Oh.

Shop talk is how we ended up married.

[LAUGHS]

Just, uh, two more months.

Just

two more months, huh?

Mm.

Come on.

Probies can't be late for lineup.

!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Want you to meet Robert Sullivan.

Yeah.

Uh...

Thank you, guys, all of you, for having my back.

I really appreciate the support from each and...

...from each and every one of you.

I know it's weird, but it doesn't have to be.

You're used to seeing me as your boss, and now I hope you'll see me as someone who's grateful and honored to still be working alongside you, so...

Probie Sullivan at your service.

[LIGHT LAUGHTER]

That had to hurt.

Um...

A-A-A-And as is firehouse tradition, the last probie breaks in the new probie.

VIC: Yeah, Captain, is it just me, or do our probies just keep getting older or...

Okay, you do not want to finish that sentence.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Okay, okay.

Uh, you know, the ladder needs a... a new coat of varnish.

- Mm-hmm.

- So, uh, two coats.

- Okay.

- JACK: And, uh, make sure to clean deep between the seats of the engine.

Pretty sure there's food in there from your first first day at .

[LAUGHTER]

And...

And I hope you love plungin'.

'Cause t-the toilets are clogged, and you're gonna be...

jamming it.

- I can't do this.

I am so sorry.

- Get it...

No...

Well, I'm glad you're all so enthused about chores because today is a COVID cleaning party.

Herrera and Gibson, the apparatus.

Uh, Miller, the beanery.

Montgomery, the lounge.

Hughes, the gym.

Sullivan...

- Uh-oh.

- [LAUGHS]

Oh, no.

- [LAUGHING]

Oh!

- The floors.

- Oh, no, no.

- I-I can teach how to hold a mop,

- in case you forgot.

- [CELLPHONE VIBRATES]

- Oh, thank you.

- So, come on, chop, chop, probie.

Chop, chop!

- I need the aid car.

- That's convenient timing.

I just...

Marsha collapsed.

I need the aid car.

♪ Warren.

Go with Gibson.

Everyone, get to it.

♪ Missed you at my hearing, Miller.

Your, uh, knee okay?

Knee's not why I missed it.

NARI: Hi, honey.

Mom.

Mom, Mom, Mom!

Put the phone in front of you.

Oh!

[CHUCKLES]

I'll never get used to this.

Wait a minute, Mom.

Where are you?

In the car.

At the grocery store.

Can you see?

Mom, what are you doing at the grocery store?

I just need gochujang.

I'm making spicy tofu.

I can put it in Tupperware for you if you want to come get some.

Mom, you are supposed to be staying home.

If you need gochujang, I can go pick it up for you.

You just have to tell me.

Your dad is golfing.

If he can golf, I can shop.

Dad's golfing?

I want to get in and out before it gets crowded.

I'll talk to you later.

Love you!

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

Golfing?

♪ Marsha?

You did a good job, okay?

Marsha, can you, uh...

Right now you need to put your mask on.

- Can you hear me?

- [MARSHA COUGHS]

She's hot.

Sats are low.

Hey, Marcus, uh, has she been in contact with anyone that's been sick lately?

I-I'm sorry.

I'll explain in a minute, okay?

He can't read the lips with the masks on.

You think this is COVID?

I think we need to get her to Grey-Sloan right now.

[COUGHS]



- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

This is Inara.

Please leave a message.

[BEEP]

Hey.

Um, sorry to leave another message.

I-I just wanted to let you know that I have Marcus with me, and, uh...

just call me back.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

He's right over here.

In fact, the boy lives with her.

So, she's headed to the COVID ward.

Are you sure, man?

Because...

She has all the symptoms.

It could just be flu, but we have to treat it like it's not until we get the tests back.

And we'll keep you posted.

Whoa, whoa, hey.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Look,

these

two need tests.

[SIGHS]

Warren, I can only give them to symptomatic patients.

Hunt, look.

They're the only family she has.

[SIGHS]

They're my family, too.

Come on, Hunt.

Please?

Hey.

You?

Over here.

Warren needs two COVID tests.

We have some left over from when we did employee testing, so...

Yeah.

- Hey.

- Dixon?

- Yeah.

- What are you doing here?

Well, I'm volunteering.

Just, uh, wait right here, and I'll be back with the tests, okay?

I-It's for these two right here.

Okay.

She refused to wear a mask.

Every excuse in the book.

Said they were uncomfortable.

Now she's looking at a ventilator being shoved down her throat.

Why don't you, um, take the aid car back, and, uh, I'll wait here with Marcus?

Okay.

Just...

Just call if you need a ride, alright?

Thanks.

No, it's...

No, it's fine.

We just...

We just need to go and get tests, okay?

[LOUD THUDDING]

You alright, Montgomery?

Yeah.

Why...

Why wouldn't I be alright?

Well, it looks like you're going rounds on that recliner.

Well, that's how you clean it, probie.

Chief probie.

Still working.

Come back in .

Alright.

Hey, uh, is there a problem between us, Miller?

I said come back in , probie.

[KLAXONS SOUND]

DISPATCH: Aid Car .

Suspected head injury, struck by a baseball.

- Marsha?

- COVID.

- Aw, damn it.

- No.

I'm gonna go burn this uniform.

Uh, keys, Warren.

You might want to sanitize those.

[KLAXONS CONTINUE]

[SIREN WAILING]

[SIGHS]

My mom's at the grocery store.

And my dad is golfing!

Oh.

And you're yelling at me because...?

Because my dad's not golfing.

Oh.

Right.

Honestly, I don't know what makes me more mad.

The closeted gay sex, the cheating on my mom, or the putting others at risk.

Do you...

You think your mom knows?

That my dad's cruising for guys online and calling it golfing?

I...

Dear God, I hope not.

Are you gonna tell her?

Why would I tell her?

If my husband were screwing around, I would want to know.

"Hey, Mom, how you doing?

[SNIFFS]

Smells good in here.

Uh, quick FYI.

Dad's been secretly playing with penises outside of your marriage, and..." Oh, my God, why would I say "playing with penises" in referencing my father?!

I...

I don't know why you would ever say that.

♪ [SIREN WAILING]

[BRAKES HISS]

[RADIO CHATTER]

Do unto your neighbors as you would have them do unto you!

Oh, fun.

Church.

VIC: Ma'am, are you alright?

We received a call about someone being struck by a... by a baseball.

You want me to call the cops every time you get in a fight with your ugly husband, huh?!

Hey, ma'am!

Ma'am!

We're not the police.

I still don't want you here!

Okay, we're actually from the Seattle Fire Department.

Can you please put this on?

God protects us!

Yep, God protects us with masks!

Ma'am, we got a call about a head injury.

Can you tell us what happened?

Yeah, I got drunk nine months ago and had sex with my loser husband!

That's what happened!

Eddie, try not to be such a bitch baby your whole life!

Alright, Bishop, this is Aid Car .

We're gonna need some backup here.

- Ugh!

- MAYA: Copy.

Do we need PD?

No.

I'd prefer to de-escalate if we can.

Ma'am...

Stay away from me!

- O-Okay, okay.

Okay.

- I'm pregnant!

Okay.

Yep, we can see that.

Did you want another cigarette and beer, or are you good?

♪ Hey, ma'am!

Ma'am, we're here to...

- ♪ Jesus loves me, this, I know ♪

- We're here to help you, so if you could just calm down, we can check you out.

♪ For the Bible tells me so! ♪

Shut up, Gina, you crazy bitch!

Hey, that's not helping!

I-I-I am calling my husband and I am telling him what you called me!

- Please don't do that.

- Come on, lady!

Shut up!

Eddie!

Answer your damn phone, asshat!

- Fill me in.

- VIC: Uh, she's pregnant, possibly high, possibly drunk, more likely a mental-health issue, or, you know... all of it.

There's a husband in the house already, apparently injured.

Warren and Hughes, go inside, check on the husband.

Montgomery, can you stand by the door, make sure she doesn't go back inside?

- Copy.

- Did you call PD?

Well, she's pregnant.

I'm rooting for her baby not to be born in prison.

Eddie, answer your damn phone!

- Ohh!

- Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

- Call PD.

- Okay.

[LAUGHS]

Ah, yeah, that's broken.

[LAUGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- BEN: Eddie?

- [GRUNTS]

Stupid...

Eddie?

I'm in here!

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hey, Eddie.

I'm Ben.

This is Vic.

- Hey.

- Hi, Vic.

We're here to help.

Sh-She gets so mad.

I mean, she gets so mad.

It's...

It's like she's possessed.

Okay, you mind putting this on?

E-Eddie, Eddie, you're bleeding.

Okay, and... and, well...

you got a needle dangling from your face, and I want to get it out, but, you know, I need you to put on the mask first.

Thank you.

- I didn't touch her, man!

- Okay.

Alright.

I didn't even touch her.

Warren.

Warren.

♪ [SNIFFS]

Ugh!

- Is it cr*ck?

- Or meth.

[LAUGHS]

So stupid.

[GROANS]

[OFF-KEY] ♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the song ♪

♪ That saved a wench like me ♪

Herrera, what's the status on PD?

HERRERA: Stand by.

Hey, you can't arrest me.

I'm pregnant.

My baby is innocent.

You should've thought of that before you assaulted a first responder.

Oh.

[GROANS]

Gina?

Son of a...

Gina, are you in pain?

God, does it sound like I'm singing?

Honestly, it's hard to tell the difference.

Okay, Gina, you should really get in the ambulance so we can help you.

No, I'm not getting in there.

You drive sick people in there.

- It's sanitized.

- I'm not getting in there!

- I'm going in my house!

- Well, ma'am...

Move!

I'm not gonna move!

I'm not gonna move, because I don't want to see you hit your husband with that bat and your innocent child of God baby be born in jail.

Please calm down.

Please.

- Gina.

- Hey.

Okay.

Oh, come on!

Honestly, I hate her guts.

I might even hate her baby.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

Oh, no, no, no.

Easy.

Nice of you to help out here.

Yeah, well, I always liked the medical part of the gig.

It was the running into fires and being held at gunpoint that I didn't love.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

Yeah, I get that.

Okay.

Alrighty, here we go.

No, no, it's fine.

Just tip your head back, okay?

Alright.

And you're done.

Okay.

That's it.

Results normally take a few days, but, uh, Hunt fast-tracked them for you, so...

Seems wrong to fast-track during a pandemic.

Well, it is.

I'm not judging.

I'm just being honest.

But, uh, I don't blame you.

You got to do what you got to do for family, right?

Right.

So your dad, uh, is back with the PD, huh?

Yeah.

And I only found out at Sullivan's hearing.

Family dinners kind of fell to the wayside when Alicia and I broke up.

Yeah, how's she doing?

She, uh... she's okay.

I mean, she was blindsided, heartbroken.

There's no nice way to tell someone who loves you that you love her, too, but just as a friend.

Right.

♪ [SIGHS]

Ooh.

PD is sick of this couple.

- What?

- Yeah, these folks are frequent fliers.

PD's coming, but they don't seem to be in any kind of hurry.

Okay, can you guard the front?

Just direct them this way when they get here.

I would argue, but it stinks in here.

- Right?

- Yeah.

Hey, stop bleeding on my stuff, man!

Ah, how very Christian of you, Gina.

God helps those who help themselves.

We're in a pandemic.

I don't need your germs in here.

[GROANS]

What's...

What...

Are you having contractions?

It...

It's just those Toni Braxton thingies.

- Braxton Hicks?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Or she's just kicking a lot.

- Oh, so you're having a girl?

Ohh, yeah, my third, God help me.

Where are your other kids?

My bitch mother took 'em.

She's a real piece of work.

[LAUGHS]

I bet.

Ohh!

Son of a...

What's happening?

- Ohh!

- Gina.

No, no, no, no, not right now.

- [LIQUID TRICKLES]

- Gina?

Ugh!

My stupid water just broke!

[SCOFFS]

Eddie?

Eddie!

Eddie!

I need you to sit down and put on the mask.

♪ Where's Gina?

We're taking care of her, Eddie, okay?

A little, um, a little fresh air can't hurt, right?

- Am I still bleeding?

- Yeah, hold on.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

I'm not the police.

I just want to mask you and stop the bleeding, okay?

[GROANING]

Okay, Eddie, Eddie, I need you to stop moving.

So, you guys fight like this a lot?

I didn't say we were fighting.

Well, she hit you with a baseball, Eddie, and from the looks of that lac, I'd say it was a fastball, huh?

- [GINA SCREAMS]

- Gina?!

Eddie, I need you to stay still.

- [GINA SCREAMS]

- Gina!

- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...

- Eddie, sit down!

Sit down!

♪ What part of "Come back in " don't you understand, probie?

It's been .

Look, Miller, if there's something you have to say, say it.

You're not the boss of me, man.

I don't got to answer to you.

Hey, Gina, it's...

I think it's time to take you to the hospital.

Get off of me!

I labored for hours when my water broke last time!

I'm Wonder Woman!

Hey, even Wonder Woman rides in an ambulance once in a while, Gina.

- Come on.

- No, get away from me!

Hey!

Okay, you can't have a baby in here.

There's nothing clean in here.

Herrera, we're gonna need clean blankets and a gurney in the garage now.

- HERRERA:

Copy.

- Ooh!

Okay, okay, I'll go.

- Okay.

Thank you.

- Oh, thank God!

- Come on.

- [GROANS]

No.

No!

Don't push.

- Don't push, Gina!

- [GRUNTING]

Holy crap!

- Oh!

- Ow!

- Okay, baby in my hands!

- What?!

Baby in my hands.

[BABY CRYING]

You're trying to keep me away from my wife,

- and I didn't do anything wrong.

- No, no, no, Eddie.

- Eddie, you got to listen to me, okay?

- I didn't do anything wrong.

Okay, we just have to stop the bleeding from your face so you can see your wife and your baby, okay?

You can't bleed on your little, tiny baby, right?

My...

My...

My...

My baby?

- My ba...

My baby's coming?!

- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!

Sounds like it's coming, Eddie, but you want to be ready, right?

You want to be ready, so let me do this.

- I want to be a good dad.

- Yeah.

I-I really want to be a good dad.

I want to be a better dad than my dad was to me!

And you

can

be, and wanting to is half the battle, alright?

But we just need to stop the bleeding now, okay?

- GINA: Eddie, where the hell are you?!

- Gina!

Eddie, Eddie, stay still, stay still.

If I'm not out there when that baby comes, she'll...

- Eddie, calm down!

Now!

- S-She'll k*ll me!

- I'm serious!

- Okay.

- GINA: Eddie!

- Gina!

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!

Hey!

Warren, you okay?

I'm fine.

Stop him, Hughes.

Okay.

Damn!

Hi.

I'm Captain Bishop, and I don't hate you.

- Eddie!

- That's my kid!

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

- Stop.

Stop!

- Hey, hey!

Unh!

- Eddie!

- Get off me!

That's my kid!

- That's my kid!

- Eddie!!

Is it Marsha?

She has it?

We don't know yet.

It'll be a few hours before we get the results back.

Is she awake?

Barely.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Oh, God.

Hey, it'll be okay.

Just...

Just take a breath.

I can't take a breath, Jack.

We might have COVID and we have to find a place to stay, and...

What?

If Marsha dies, we have to find somewhere else to go.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

Take it a step at a time.

I am

taking it one step at a time, Jack.

I'm a single mother of a deaf child who's still running from a psycho ex-husband.

We have no idea what Marsha will even do...

Her son's been calling.

She hasn't been answering, but he's been calling.

What if he takes over the apartment?

I mean, I have to think about where we're gonna live.

If that happens, you can stay with me.

Ted can trace you to me.

We don't even know if she has it, okay?

She refused to wear a mask, Jack!

Of course she has it!

[GASPS]

[SIGHING]

Oh, God.

I'm such an ass.

I'm so sorry.

You're not an ass.

You...

You're scared.

Okay?

You're just scared.

[SIGHS]

Like everyone else.

We're all scared.

[VOICE BREAKING]

I really wish I could hug you right now.

Yeah, I wish you could, too.

♪ No, it's okay, buddy.

Uh, we just need to...

We just need to get your mom a test.

We're gonna take this step by step, okay?

♪ I'm sorry.

I-I didn't mean to hit her.

Whether you meant to or not, you're going to jail.

He needs rehab, not jail.

He's too stupid for jail.

He'll never survive.

I just want to hold my baby.

Not happening.

I'm not letting anyone take this one.

Not my mom.

Not that fool I married.

Gina, that sounds like the start to some excellent parenting.

Montgomery, you and Herrera take the aid car.

Get her to Seattle Pres.

Wait, is that your blood or mine?

Oh.

Might be mine.

Okay.

You okay?

Yeah.

He didn't mean to hit me.

Great.

He can say that in court.

Up.

I can't go to jail, man.

I just...

I just had a baby.

For what it's worth, his wife needs to go to jail, too.

She hit a baseball at his head with a bat.

God, I'm so stupid.

I'm so stupid.

No, you're not.

You're not stupid, Eddie.

You're j...

Oh, my face hurts too much to finish that sentence.

- Aah.

- You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

- in a court of law.

- He's a

little

stupid.

You have the right to attorney.

[SIREN WAILING]

♪ Hush, little mija, don't you cry ♪

♪ Papa is gonna buy you a pumpkin pie ♪

♪ And if that pumpkin pie... ♪

"Papa's gonna buy you some pumpkin pie"?

[LAUGHS]

That's what my dad used to sing.

Ahh.

I've been so mad at him.

So mad at my mom for their lies, for the pain.

But seeing this, my God, this baby.

What chance does she have?

Two parents who hate each other.

dr*gs, alcohol, misery.

[SIGHS]

What's gonna become of her?

My dad did okay.

And I guess my mom kinda did okay, too, 'cause she knew better than to stay.

♪ Does this crazy lady really get to keep this baby, Travis?

Yeah.

Yeah, she probably does.

♪ [HISS, WHIRRING]

I miss all the fun?

Not much.

I delivered a baby.

Montgomery's nose almost broke.

Warren crash-landed into a pile of dishes.

And Hughes got clocked by a crackhead.

Oh.

You hit him back, at least?

In the sense that her face hit his fist.

[LAUGHS]

Lookin' good, !

Nobody asked for your approval, probie.

What's the problem, Miller?

You.

Yeah, I gathered that.

You reached a level most Black firefighters will never sniff, let alone see.

And what do you do with all that success?

Everything they think we do.

We have to work twice as hard just to be considered.

Well, that's not exclusive to firefighters.

You don't give two craps about making it harder for every other Black firefighter coming up after you!

Don't assume what I did or did not give a crap about!

Don't you think I'm sorry?

You don't think I know what I did?

No, I think you knew exactly what you did.

You just did it anyway.

I stole dr*gs because I'm an addict, Miller.

You have no idea what it feels like to need a drug.

You don't know my pain.

Everybody here knows the pain of the job.

Only one person stole dr*gs and lied about it.

I'm not patting you on the back.

I remember you at the academy, all high and mighty, constantly preaching about integrity.

You pushed me to be better, and now you're just a lying, drug-stealing thief with a free pass to do it again.

I was injured, Miller!

And you're about to be injured again, Robert, if you don't get out of my face.

Guys, guys, guys.

I already got my ass kicked once today, but I swear I will stand between you if you try to play this out.

Think about where you are, okay?

People are watching you.

♪ - Yo, Miller, uh...

- [WATER SLOSHES]

you're carrying this Sullivan thing around like an anchor.

It's pulling you down.

Can't hear you.

You ever stop to consider what he's carrying?

Riding mighty high on that horse, aren't you?

[METAL SQUEAKS, SHOWER WATER STOPS]

Don't talk down to me, Warren.

He lied.

So did you.

He made mistakes.

So did I.

Mistakes?

We got to constantly think about what neighborhood we're in, what we're wearing, what we say, how we sound.

We don't get the luxury of mistakes.

Sullivan knew better.

You knew better.

You're right.

You're right.

Everything you just said is spot-on.

[WATER SLOSHES]

Look, all I can offer is this.

If...

If Dixon screws up, it's on Dixon.

He's a...

He's a bad apple.

But if Sullivan screws up, that's on every Black firefighter in Seattle.

- Sound fair to you?

- No.

That's exactly my point.

Just the way the world works.

Yeah.

It is.

That doesn't mean that you have to.

♪ [DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Captain doesn't stack hoses.

[CHUCKLES]

Only one person allowed in the gym at a time.

I'm making do.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

That family.

They, uh, they remind you of the mess you grew up with?

Nah.

No.

My dad raged and threw things, but only at the walls.

Never at us and never in front of the neighbors.

I'm afraid to go home.

- To Carina?

- No.

God, no.

Carina's a salve.

It's me.

I'm afraid of how much I'm like my dad.

My brother and I chose such opposite ways of dealing with him.

Mason buried his head in the sand, like my mom, and me, I just wanted to please him.

[SIGHS]

I made myself into a perfect copy of my dad so that he wouldn't find a reason to be mad at me.

I spent so many years learning how to read his sighs and silences, the hunch of his shoulders.

So many years mimicking the tone of his voice.

I'm scared that by protecting myself from him, I turned myself into him.

You are nothing like him.

And for my th birthday, I was allowed to have three friends spend the night.

I didn't have three close friends, but some girls from the softball team came over, and we hung out in the basement.

We painted nails and talked about first kisses, and I pretended like I only liked boys.

[BOTH LAUGH]

And this one girl, Holly, she went to the kitchen during the movie, and she came back with a soda, and I freaked out.

I asked her where she got that because those were my dad's and no one else was allowed to touch those.

And Holly shrugged because she was and it was a can of soda.

[PANTING]

And then, sure enough, a few minutes later, my dad came tearing down the stairs.

"Who drank my last soda?"

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

I can still feel every muscle in my body tensing up.

And Holly was terrified.

And he pointed his finger at her and he said, "Who said you could drink that?" And she just stared at him, suddenly, this...

This tiny, little girl.

And he came lumbering over to her, and he ripped the can out of her hand.

And he went back upstairs.

And she called her mom, crying, and her mom came and picked her up.

This morning, I woke up in the apartment, and I looked around it.

Her cheeses and her pastas and all of her wonderful everything, and I could feel the rage building inside of me.

I could feel the "Who drank my last Coke?" rage.

Because I'm so used to having control over every last inch of my space.

And now she's here, and...

it's terrifying.

I am terrified that I am gonna snap at her like him and that she is gonna stop loving me and...

Am I broken?

Look, I'm still working on this one myself, Maya, but I think being afraid to be like your dad is the first step to not being like him.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV]

Hey.

Any news?

Uh, well, I checked in with Hunt, and, uh...

Marsha tested positive for COVID.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

But the good news is that all three of you came back negative.

Okay.

At least that's...

That's good.

Yeah.

So, uh, what now?

Well, they watch her for the next hours in the COVID ward, and, uh, well, you won't be able to visit her, except remotely.

Um...

I'm sorry, man.

I wish I had better news.

- Thank you.

- Oh, um...

[CHUCKLES]

I swiped you these.

Uh, I know you said Marcus can't read lips with the masks, and, uh, well, the hospital got a shipment of these in after a deaf doctor consulted.

They're pretty cool.

Not pretty cool, man.

These are...

These are game-changing.

Thank you.

No problem.

♪ [DOOR CLOSES]

♪ Mm.

How's the jaw?

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, I'll live.

Plus, it adds to my street cred, you know?

[GROANS]

How's the nose?

Uh, I don't think it's broken.

- [LAUGHS]

- It hurts, though.

I mean, I know that this job is dangerous, but getting b*at up by a pregnant Christian woman is not something I expected.

[LAUGHS]

It's a charming couple.

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[SNIFFS]

They'll be forgiven, though.

Right?

They'll go to church and confess their sins.

[SNIFFS]

You know, they...

[SNIFFS]

They b*at each other, they t*rture each other, they... they're cruel and they're violent.

They drink while they're pregnant.

They do dr*gs, they lie, they cheat and they steal and they abuse their kids.

[SNIFFS]

And they're just... forgiven.

But if I went to church and I talked about the deep love that I have for my husband and the profound ways that he changed me and my life and my heart...

If I, uh...

If I admit all that and then I don't repent?

Well, I'm not going to heaven, right?

♪ I get to go to hell.

[SNIFFLES]

I get to go to hell for who and how I love.

♪ That's what my dad's up against.

[SNIFFS]

That's what he's buying into.

♪ [MOTOR WHIRRING, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]

Only one allowed at a time.

That's what Seattle Fire used to say about us.

[BEEP, WHIRRING SLOWS]

I know what you're carrying.

We all carry it.

We share the burden.

But you dropped your corner and you left it up to the rest of us.

Yeah, you have no idea what I've carried.

[GRUNTS]

I spent two of the worst years of my life in Montana after my wife d*ed.

Small station, all white firefighters, except me.

I absorbed hundreds of these racial jokes from them.

"Look at that monkey racing up that ladder."

I had a thousand fantasies about swinging on them.

But you know what?

I never did.

I sucked it up.

I bit it back.

And when I couldn't do it anymore, I put in for a transfer.

- We've all experienced that crap.

- Because if I threw that punch, It only proves that things haven't changed,

- and it doesn't excuse your behavior.

- And I'm over here and I'm supposed to just take the same crap from you?

Comparing me to racists now?

It's not the same.

It feels the same!

You know, Miller, you may have walked in my shoes, but we haven't traveled the same distance.

We back to dr*gs now?

No, I'm talking about the silver spoon stuck between your ears.

Pull it out, and maybe you'll be ready to listen.

I don't have to tell you what it's like to be Black.

And you have rank over me, so you can yell all you want.

Just know one thing.

Us fighting is exactly what they want.

I'm not fighting you.

I just don't have time for your excuses.

♪ I'll be back when you're done.

♪ I literally spent hours cleaning this entire room, and you've covered it in salmonella in minutes.

Well, some people write symphonies, but Vic Hughes makes messes, you know?

♪ Hughie?

Hughes.

Hughie, Hughie.

- Hmm?

- You're...

Sorry.

Sorry.

Uh...

[BOTH LAUGH]

I, uh...

Whew!

I haven't been touched in, like, a really long time.

Yeah, very, very long time.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Miller, you know I get it, right?

I get why you're so upset with Sullivan.

[SIGHS]

I've been writing strongly worded letters to him in my head for weeks, but...

Let me guess.

You think I should give him a break?

No, I didn't...

N-No.

No, don't...

You don't need to give anyone a break.

No one's given you

one.

But I do think you should prove yourself wrong and become the next Black Battalion Chief.

Come over tomorrow.

- To your place?

- Yes.

So we can look over the Lieutenant packet.

And Pru would love to see you.

♪ Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ♪

♪ I know that it feels like hope ♪

- ♪ Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ♪

- ♪ Has come and gone ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ♪

♪ Soon, the winds... ♪

Whatever we can do to help, you just let us know.

♪ It won't be long ♪

MARSHA: Don't forget to water my plants.

I promise we won't.

Where is he?

- Oh!

- _ ♪ Mm-hmm ♪

[LAUGHS]

- ♪ One day, I know ♪ - _

- ♪ We're gonna rise up ♪ - _

What if I stay here for a while?

I mean, just until she came back.

♪ Rise up, rise up ♪

♪ Steady we climb ♪

♪ Straight to the sky ♪

♪ We're gonna rise up ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

Hey.

Uh, I-I can come back.

No, no, no.

I'm...

I'm...

I'm done.

The water's warm, so...

Good.

Um, I just had the...

the worst first shift.

- Um...

- Do you want to talk to me about it?

No, no, I'm good.

I just need, uh...

I just...

Come on.

♪ Only God ♪

O-Okay, after Montana, this was the first place that felt safe.

So I thought coming back here was gonna be like coming home.

I mean, I knew that being a probie would be hard, but I thought the hardest part was gonna be cleaning toilets.

[SIGHS]

Or...

Or watching you in a towel.

I just...

This Miller thing is just...

He's overreacting.

No, he's right!

That's the problem.

He...

Everything he says is right.

Look, my dad always used to say, "A lo hecho, pecho."

- "What's done is done."

- Mm-hmm.

You can't change what you did, Robert.

You can only change what you do now, and you're doing everything you can to make things right.

You're putting up with our crappy jokes.

You threw yourself into probie work.

Oh, and I know you had to mop the floors outside your old office, and that had to suck.

Mm.

But you are...

amazing.

And brave.

And resilient.

And I'm gonna need another shower if I have to stand here any longer.

♪ We will rise up ♪

[CHUCKLES]

Two more months.

♪ We're gonna make it through ♪

Two more months.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪ Gonna rise up ♪

♪ To the darkest night ♪

♪ Gonna rise ♪

♪ Yes, we will ♪

♪ Yes, we will ♪

♪ Gonna rise up ♪

♪ Oh-ohh ♪

♪ Oh, we're gonna riiiiiise up ♪

Hey.

Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh.

Shower first.

Seriously?

Bella.

[SIGHS]

Okay, I'm sorry, but what is with our kitchen becoming a cheese cellar?

It reminds me of home.

Yeah, I know.

You said that, but it is starting...

Maya, my home is really scary right now.

It's worse than here, and...

And here is really bad.

I'm...

I'm scared for my dad.

He was never the one to follow the rules, and...

and I cannot be there to take care of him and to make sure that he does what he's supposed to.

So, um...

It feels good to look up a-and to be reminded of...

of...

Of the good memories of Italy instead of the constant fear and worry.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to be.

Gotta go get ready to bring some babies into this terrifying world.

I did that today.

You did what?

I brought a baby into this terrifying world.

You did?

I mean, brought...

Maybe...

Maybe more like caught.

Tell me everything.

Well, first I'm gonna shower, and then I will tell you all about it, naked, in bed.

No.

[LAUGHING]

No.

Maya.

PAUL: Good boy.

♪ Dad!

Travis.

Well, that looks painful.

You okay?

Yeah, I-I'll live.

Your mom's inside.

- Come on.

- Dad.

♪ It's time ♪

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians : .

♪ Now I'm on my own ♪

I saw your profile, Dad.

♪ Now I'm on my own ♪

I know.

I h...

[CHUCKLING]

I don't know...

Yeah.

Actually, I'm... too tired to have this conversation today.

♪ This is freedom ♪

I'm just gonna get some spicy tofu. ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

♪

♪ Oh, freedom ♪

♪ Ohhh, freedom ♪

♪ Ohhh-oh, freedom ♪