Previously.
I'll always be here to protect you.
Proud to be your Zeta Beta Zeta big sis.
You know, it's been four months since we broke up.
So, you can officiallyly categorize me as a a friend.
I met a girl. She's beautiful, and smart, and funny.
That's great.
Did your girl ever show up? I just met this awesome chick.
You're dating Rusty's little brother.
Oh, my God, you totally like him.
What happened, Evan? Why'd you cheat on me?
It can really make you crazy when you doubt whether the people close to you really care about you.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. Me, too.
I got accepted to grad school. Caltech, in California.
I turned down the grant so I can stay at CRU with Casey.
She doesn't know. You can't tell her. I don't want her to feel some kind of obligation.
I love you, Casey. I love you, too.
Aren't weddings great?
The promise of renewal, unlimited possibilities... lots of wedding cake. I look like a walking glow stick.
Actually, you look like...
Not really, exactly.
It's more like...
Remember when you told me my hair looked better down?
Or when I doubted that gamma rays could've really turned Bruce Banner into the Hulk?
Because there's no scientific evidence to indicate... My point is, we've always been honest.
The dress is horrible and it's too long, right?
Unless I strap on stilts, I'm going to stumble my way down the aisle.
I... love you?
Nice save.
I wish I could be as enthusiastic as you about Kiki's wedding.
Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy my grand-big-sis is coming back to ZBZ and getting married. But the fact that Kiki's little sis...
Is Frannie?
I'd feel better if my dress was made of Kevlar.
When I first tried it on, I thought... munchkin couture.
Then I remembered you were invited, too.
Andy's not here. The football team's in Wisconsin.
I know. I'm here to see you.
The house is really quiet.
Nap time. From 6:00 to 8:00, the KT house is the quietest place on campus.
Are you up for a wedding?
With you?
I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but apparently Casey's grand sis...
Your great-grand sis. OK, sure.
She's coming back to get married, which means I need an escort to the wedding.
No, can't. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna be defibrillating a... Transpolymer orgasmitroid?
I looked that up.
Not only does it sound dirty, but it doesn't exist.
Come on Rusty, I told Andy I hate going to these things by myself.
Plus, it would be way more fun with a friend.
I know. Right, we're friends. And Andy's my little brother, but...
Thank you.
I was looking at that last night.
"Sacred and Profane Love," by Titian.
"Forbidden desires and earthly wants."
So, eternal happiness in heaven versus fleeting happiness on earth.
I guess you have to choose. That's a toughie.
I'm going to have to think about it.
I was so sleepy.
I don't even know Kiki, why do I have to go to her wedding?
Kiki loves ZBZ.
She practically bleeds pink. And we're her direct descendents, which is why she wants both of you to be at her bachelorette party and wedding.
I'm getting married! Are you so excited?
My God! I'm so excited! Me too.
It's so beautiful.
Four carats, D color, flawless. It's no big thing.
I read in my psychology class that men who spend large amounts of money on women are over-compensating for small...
And this is Rebecca. She's your great-grand little sis.
Great-grand big sis Kiki. We've heard so much about you.
And you must be Jordan, my new great-grand little.
Which actually makes me feel really old. I know. You can both call me Bubby.
Cause calling you Kiki would be so weird.
I'll... go help Ashleigh with your luggage.
It's so great to be back in the old house again.
And really sweet that my little sis could come pick me up.
Where are you going, Frannie? Maybe Frannie forgot to mention this tiny morsel of ZBZ history that she tried to torpedo the house by starting a rival sorority across the street.
Maybe I wouldn't have done it if ZBZ wasn't falling apart.
Is that true?
And who was responsible for that, Fran-Fran?
Sure, blame me because... Will you two b*tches just shut up?
Don't you forget this is my wedding, not some stupid-ass date-dash at Dobler's.
And if either of you screw up my big day, I will personally rip off your heads and tinkle down your necks. Got it?
Got it.
Because weddings are supposed to be special and filled with love.
And this is doubly-special because I can come back here and share it with my entire ZBZ family, and all my littles.
Which brings me to you.
On my way in, the flower shop called and they're not able to deliver the flowers.
I need you to pick them up.
We're almost done Kiki. Thanks Ash, you're the best.
Bring help. It's a lot of flowers. Maybe you could take Rebecca?
Still helping with the luggage.
It's all right. I'll just call Rusty.
He's going to the wedding with me. I'm sure helping won't be a big deal.
Hold on. Rusty's your date?
Let's see what you've done with the house.
It's so much stuff. Here, let's start in the kitchen.
Before we continue the Kappa Tau
"I am drunk, and how do I get back to Kappa Tau before I pass out" tour, does anyone have any questions?
Moving on. To your right, Marty's Deli.
Daytime, avoid the pastrami.
Nighttime, ignore the blinking red and green sign.
Many a beery-eyed KT has been stuck for hours, unsure whether to stop or go.
That'd be me. To your left, a public restroom for emergency pit stops in case you can't make it back to the house.
That's an alley. That's why there are no stalls.
If you look ahead, you'll see the Espresso Farm and...
Robin Wylie.
CRU grad, ZBZ alum. God, I had such a crush on her.
She purty.
Strike everything after the Espresso Farm.
Beaver, finish the expedition.
The last time, I got lost on the way home.
Seriously?
You've gotta stop drinking in the middle of the day.
I'm not drinking, I just have no sense of direction.
We need to work on that, don't we?
As I live and breathe heavily.
You look great. Not a day over...
Twenty-four. And you are?
You don't remember me?
I was that dashing freshmen at Kappa Tau.
You were a dreamy senior. Remember?
Crazy Cappie?
Fun, sexy Cappie?
No, to all three.
Wait. Now, I do.
You were that scrawny kid with the funny hair who dated one of our pledges until she dumped you.
The one who stood outside our house in a trench coat, holding a boom box over your head, playing Peter Gabriel.
Or... maybe that was someone else. No, that'd be me.
Personally, I appreciated the movie reference.
Really?
So what brings you back to Cyprus?
Besides a chance to fulfill old fantasies. Specifically, mine.
My pledge sister's getting married on campus this weekend, and I'm just back for the wedding.
If you're looking for a date, I know someone who's completely available.
I prefer flying solo at weddings.
You never know who you're gonna go home with.
I've gotta get to that wedding.
You're crazy. No, It makes total sense.
If I go to the wedding with Jordan and keep my feelings in check, then I can finally stop worrying about doing something stupid.
Like tell her how you feel? Exactly.
"That which does not k*ll us makes us stronger."
Nietzsche.
Nietzsche never had to go to a wedding with his little brother's girlfriend.
Are you saying I can't do this?
Nietzsche knew better than to tempt himself with moonlight, a beautiful girl and wedding cake.
You're right. I'm crazy.
What do I know? I'm not exactly an expert on these kinda things.
In fact, I was kinda hoping you could help me out.
I've been thinking, if I'm gonna ask Casey... if we're gonna take our relationship to the next level, It's time I tell her about Caltech. What do you mean "next level?"
That's where I need you. I have some questions about the Greek system.
Bonne grippe.
This is embarrassing, but to get home, do we go left or right on Briarwood?
Right. OK, thanks.
Pledges.
I want the leads to set anchor bolts and belays for a pendulum swing.
Do it quickly.
'Cause if we're not home by nightfall, we will sleep on this mountain!
I feel sorry for her husband.
Actually, I feel sorry for anyone dumb enough to get married.
"Bonds of holy matrimony," my ass.
My parents are still happy.
Maybe they want you to think that.
So, last night's date didn't go well?
When he saw "coming attractions," he thought it was his cue to feel me up.
You know what your problem is? I'm too hot.
You are a guy fang.
And since Fisher is writing a paper this weekend, I happen to have a ton of free time on my hands.
I am going to find you a slump-buster.
A boy friend to jump-start your hormonal happiness.
Oh, my God, I missed you so much. You're so grown up.
This is Robin Wylie, my big sis.
And reluctant wedding guest.
Robin, this is Rebecca Logan, Casey's little sis.
And even more reluctant wedding guest.
Where are my suitcase? I'll be right there!
Don't worry. A boyfriend is on the way.
Things haven't changed at all at ZBZ.
Kiki spent years trying to find me Mr. Right.
What happened?
Nothing stuck.
First it was the crappy bridesmaid dress and now Frannie's trying to take over the bachelorette party.
She is Kiki's little sister. Really?
I've been thinking about that, and since she de-pledged ZBZ, she's technically more like Kiki's illegitimate step-sibling.
Funny.
Really.
You know when you said it's important we're honest with each other?
That we don't have secrets?
I knew it. You're finally going to admit that my dress is ugly, aren't you?
Of course not. So, you like my dress?
Actually, I hate it. No, what I'm trying to say...
I can't believe you hate it.
I lied to you about graduate school.
I was accepted to Caltech, got a full-ride scholarship.
But, I turned it down.
Why... would you do that?
Because I wanted to be with you.
And you were so set against having a long-distance relationship.
I know this is a lot to dump on you, and I know it's unfair.
I had to tell you in order for us to move forward with our relationship.
You seem to be handling Max's news pretty well.
If it were me, I'd be a little freaked out right now.
It's fine. I mean, Max not going to Caltech was unbelievably romantic, right?
Figures Frannie dump the party favors on us, so she could go and decocorate Dobler's by herself.
I know what Max did was romantic, but it was also... a little crazy, right?
I mean, giving up everything for someone you've only known for a month?
But you guys are perfect together.
We are perfect together.
It's amazing how many things made for a bachelorette party resemble...
That one's huge.
Are you sure you're OK with what Max did?
Of course.
I'm fine with it.
I'm not. I'm confused.
I mean, I love him, but what Max did... is kinda overwhelming.
It was romantic, wonderful... And a little freaky?
That too.
Thanks again for helping me.
It's been fun hanging out. Yeah, sure it's Fun.
We're here to pick up the flowers for the philbrick wedding.
I was hoping you wouldn't show.
Why not? 'Cause there's nothing to pick up.
I kinda messed up the delivery date.
You wrote it down for next year?
Well... I got the month right.
If you come back, same time, in a year from now...
We need whatever you have today.
Well, I have a nice funeral wreath.
Turned out the dude wasn't terminal after all.
Wait, I think I also got a bon voyage basket.
I'll go check.
I guess you better call kiki and tell her problem.
Are you kidding? She scares the crap out of me.
No, I have to handle this on my own.
That's not your fault.
Yeah, I know, but I still feel like an outsider in the house.
I just want to prove to casey that I belong.
Dumb, right?
No, not dumb at all.
You know, I think there's a flower shop on elm street.
So, no one under five feet. Vegetarians, maybe. Vegans, no.
Hair?
Right.
Head yes, back no. Perfect.
That enough for your profile. An internet ad?
How desperate do you think I am?
You don't want me to answer that. But don't worry, your picture is hot and I'll weed out the pervs.
If this doesn't work, I'll find you a boyfriend.
Lots of eligible bachelors, an open bar... I can't miss.
Don't worry.
I have been looking for you.
They have these things now called phones. They work pretty well.
We're friends, right? Yes... just friends, only friends, friends who can tell anything, right?
What do you want?
Get me on the guest list to the wedding.
It's a wedding, not a date-dash at Dobler's.
Guess I'll have to go as a waiter, or a chef or something.
Why are you fixated on going to this wedding?
Robin Wylie.
She's way out of your league.
Then, cliché as it is, I'm gonna have to crash that wedding.
I have a better idea.
What if you come as my date?
Your date?
Do you think that's a good idea, considering everything?
Look, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and the one thing I do know is that you're a way better friend than boyfriend.
Not that the sex wasn't spectacular.
For a moment there, you scared my big buddy.
Actually, I like to call Edward the third, I know.
My point is, you'll be doing me a favor.
If ashleigh gets too carried away trying to find me a guyat the wedding, I can use you as my cover. And if she actually finds me one, I'll dump you.
Sounds good to me.
Toast on.
You eat that, I'll rip off your head and tinkle down your neck.
Something I learned from my bubby.
If this doesn't work, we're gonna be stealing daffodils from people's front yards.
It's not looking good. No.
Excuse me.
We have a big emergency.
We need flowers for a wedding...
I'm sorry. The only flowers left are for the rosenberg bar mitzvah.
Not that they care about flowers.
It's juste for something together. "Sure, why not."
Honey, we don't have to get married.
We can wait.
No, we will wait.
For, "Without the sweet perfume of nature's greatest gift."
"We wouldn't have each other?"
Because, "Flowers are just rainbows you can take with you."
That's... what I've always thought.
"A Nose, by any other name..." "Would smell as sweet."
"A daisy's petal is a true love's kiss..."
You make such a perfect couple.
"Perfect, and eternal."
Stop it.
Stop it.
Our car's out back.
Are you OK? We got the flowers, it's time to go home.
We'll make it just in time.
We did good, didn't we?
We're like the bonnie and clyde of botany.
The cops are running scared
'cause no daffodil is safe when Bonnie and... Rusty?
Call me clyde. OK. Clyde, you're looking red and blotchy.
So are you Bonnie
And my throat's constricting.
Mine, too.
You have danced on a table. Check.
You have flirted with a bartender...
Check. You flashed a complete stranger.
Double-check.
That's some potent lemonade. I pre-gamed back at the house.
The scavenger hunt? Sorry. Only two items to go.
Next up, you have to confess the craziest thing your hubby-to-be has ever done.
To me or for me?
Let's start with "for you."
C'mon, bubby. Spill it.
He has my name tattooed on his right butt cheek.
Frannie, your turn. What's evan done for you?
There're so many things.
I wouldn't know where to start.
Suit yourself. Casey?
Max turned down caltech just to go to graduate school at cru, so he could be with me.
That is the most romantic thing I've heard in my entire life.
It is? That's so awesome!
Really? Yeah, I guess that's awesome.
It's great. He really loves you.
Really great.
That's beautiful.
Really heartwarming. OK, last one.
The lucky bride-to-be has to...
Kiss a girl.
It has to be a real kiss.
Tongue optional.
What a wimp.
Like you'd do it? Maybe I would.
Or, maybe you'd chicken out too...
All right bakmachin show's over.
To the bachelorette party!
Cheers.
OK, let's see.
Wait, here we go.
How about this?
No. Yeah, you're right. Of course.
She's older, she's wiser to the ways of the world.
I need something that says sophisticacated, yetet amoral. L.
Maybe I shohould lose some of my jewelry. What do you think?
Hello?
Sure.
Is something wrong? No.
Everything's great.
I've just been thinking... When you're done think I need help.
What're your thoughts on seersucucker?
I want you to kiss me.
I thought we were gonna be friends. I don't mean it like that.
I just want you to kiss me.
It starts with a kiss, and the next thing you know...
Well?
Interesting.
Thanks.
And I'd go with the navy blue.
Not the navy whites? No!
I thought about what I said... nine out of ten sorority girls agree what you did was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done.
What do you think? I'm voting with the majority.
OK, then I have one more surprise... I'm too drunk, too tired.
Tonight, I just want you.
Who knew we were both severely allergic to hydrangeas.
I guess the enclosed space pushed the pollen count to astronomically-high levels.
Weird.
If Andy ever wants to get me a gift, tell him to with teddy bears.
What if he asks about chocolate?
Chocolate is also on my list of taboo ingestibles.
Really? Same with me.
Funny. It's like they...
Cut us out of the same immune-deficient cloth.
I'm not afraid of much, but needles and iguanas freak me out.
OK. Clench your fist for me.
It's their claws.
Thanks.
Anytime.
It's just gonna hurt a little.
There you go.
Have you seen my shoes? I swear, I left them in the bag.
Can we talk? Not right now, no.
But, I have something for you. Unless they're bright green, size 8, with a three inch wedge, I'm not interested.
I think you'll like this more.
Doubtful, since kiki is pretty particular about footwear.
You know when I said weddings were about renewal, about limitless possibilities?
That got me thinking about us... Please get up...
Wait. Let me finish this.
I know we've only known each other for a short time, but I also know how I feel about you.
And I think I know how you feel about me, too.
Not now, max. What? What's wrong?
That. But you haven't seen it yet.
That's a lavaliere. What did you think it was?
Kiki's threatening to break our knee caps unless we get into the van now.
Kiki's more unstable than usual, so... We better go.
Look!
All right. Max, I love you, and I'll see you at the wedding.
We'll talk then.
Bubby should be happy.
We got the flowers and it only took 19 hours.
And no one got hurt.
Matt did.
Matt? Rosenberg?
He's not gonna have flowers for his big day.
The way I see it, we saved his ass. Pink hydrangeas for a bar mitzvah?
He'd have d*ed of embarrassment.
At least we know where to pick up a funeral wreath, cheap.
You should probably get back to your apartment.
You should go in.
And I'll see you in two hours, wearing a dress.
Trust me, that doesn't happen very often.
Do I have permission to tease you?
As long as I can hit you as hard as I can.
Nope. Teasing's out.
Good choice.
Thanks for everything.
Please, what're friends for?
I'm sorry. I don't know why I... No, that's OK.
That's the way the french say good-bye... to friends.
Really? Sure. Come on.
You kiss me. I kiss you back.
OK. It's no big deal.
I'll see you later.
Right, later.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this day to celebrate the joining together of kiki philbrick and charlie german in the bond of holy matrimony.
Kiki, do you take charlie to be your lawfully-wedded husband, in good times and in bad, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, to continually bestow upon one another your heart's deepest devotion, to be a friend, a lover, in times of plenty and in times of want, that regardless of the obstacles you may face on your path through life, to always be faithful to one another, and vow to do so from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?
I do.
You may now kiss the bride.
Can I get two glasses, please?
So. I struck out online, but there're plenty of guys here, so don't worry.
Trust me, I wasn't worrying.
OK, good, because I think I found you a keeper.
You're gonna love this one, He's cute, he's single, and I'm pretty sure he can make you see God.
Yeah, I don't think he's my type.
No, he's Protestant.
Ash, maybe today is not my day to find a boyfriend.
You're not dating him again, right?
Well, no.
I just agreed to bring him as my date so he could make a play for Robin.
Well he's in for a surprise. Because Robin's gay.
Really? Really.
Which means you're still looking for a boyfriend. Be right back.
What are you doing here?
Just taking a break from the fun, fun, fun. You?
Hiding.
Me too.
Max told me he gave up Caltech.
You knew, didn't you?
I promised I wasn't gonna tell you.
Now, you're mad at me, aren't you?
Right now, I'm...
... scared and happy and mad and thrilled and everything in between, and it's all wrapped up in this overwhelming desire to puke my guts out.
Add itchy to that and I'm right with you.
It's my allergies.
And Jordan. And Andy?
Yeah, and Andy.
Life shouldn't be this complicated.
You know, you and Jordan can't.
I know. I gotta deal with it.
It's just not that easy.
This afternoon, I thought Max was going to propose.
I thought he was going to lavaliere you.
He tried. You didn't accept?
I always thought the hard part would be finding the right guy.
But, it turns out it's not finding the guy that's hard, it's staying on the same page with him.
And right now, I feel like we're in different chapters.
It's better than me and Jordan.
Because right now, we're in different books.
And someone else is reading her book.
Or, her book is in someone else's library.
Yeah, maybe...
We should just wait here until everyone leaves.
Or at least, until the end of the song.
Nice wedding, right? Yeah.
So, Ash tells me you're gay.
Which makes you wonder about that kiss.
No. Yeah.
Actually, I don't really know what to think.
It was just a kiss.
And the feelings you're having are what a lot of people go through in college.
It's just a part of growing up.
You'll figure it out eventually.
So, I shouldn't obsess over it?
Not unless you liked it.
Because, I did.
Robin Wylie.
We are at the same wedding. Imagine that.
The coincidences are mind-boggling. Well, conveniently, so am I.
Dance?
Don't mind if we do.
You know, the secret to cake and concrete is in the powder?
Yeah. It all has to do with adhesion forces and collisions...
Why didn't you tell me about Caltech?
Before you made the decision not to go?
It's because I thought, it would freak you out.
Well, it did.
What you did was kind of huge.
I don't know what is the next step.
Next?
Just lavaliere you.
I thought you were going to propose.
Wouldn't that be going a bit too... fast?
And changing your whole life, based on a month-long relationship is not too fast?
I love you.
I love you too.
But, I kinda can't breathe.
Sorry, I didn't mean that...
You know, the... egg yolk lipoproteins are an essential part of maintaining the cake stability.
It must be going around. I'm... having a tough time breathing myself.
True to the day he dies More than a dream-come-true With eyes of ocean-blue While sisters will be True love is theirs to seek He won the heart of our hearts Z-B-Z
OK, ladies, everybody get close.
Move your asses. I got a plane to catch. Bridesmaids to the front.
Who wants a piece of me?
You?
I forgot what a bitch KiKi could be.
You know, she purpose to put us in these dresses to make herself look better.
Speak for yourself. I look hot in lime green.
So...
What was up...
... back at the house? With Max.
Nothing.
So, where's Evan?
We broke up.
Yeah, well, we didn't exactly... bring out the best in each other.
So...
Far be it from me to give relationship advice, But, if you think you're with the right guy, and there's a chance it might work, don't give up.
I wonder when Kiki knew that he was the right one.
Probably when he knocked her up.
Wh...
What?
Dinner was good.
Yeah.
You know, if you think about it, nothing happened this morning.
Sure, something... almost did, but it didn't.
And you cannot feel guilty over almost.
We were pretty tired.
Personally, I'm chalking it up to intravenous dr*gs.
So, we're good.
We're good.
Friends.
So...
Do good friends dance together? Sure.
You don't mind if I lead? You're OK if I make fun of your dress?
OK, you lead.
Hey, Robin.
Before you take off I was wondering if you might like to...
What?
... continue this night of romance and love at Cappie Tau.
Sounds like fun, but... it's never going to happen.
Well, never as in never, or never as in not now, or never as in Never Neverland?
Fitting you'd end with Peter Pan.
Let's just say... never.
Well, that sucked.
Wendy, darling. Cappie!
Both of us at the same wedding? Imagine the coincidence.
Hey.
I didn't want you to leave without saying good-bye.
That's nice.
Hey, I'm staying in town for a couple weeks with my parents.
So...
So maybe I could give you a call?
I'd like that.
See ya. Bye.
This is John. He's new at Cyprus, and I thought that...
Sorry.
We should look at this as a celebration for us, too.
I mean, we didn't die.
And Kiki got her flowers.
A happy ending.
And I finally have my answer.
For what?
Whether or not it's worth risking eternal happiness in heaven for fleeting happiness on earth.
I will never let you go
I will never let you go
I can't. We shouldn't be doing this. I'm dating Andy.
No. I know you're dating Andy. No. I have to go.
I brought you cake.
Actually...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about you having to keep your secret.
I'm sorry about you giving up Caltech.
Why should you be sorry about that?
Because I don't know if I would do the same for you.
In fact, I didn't. I went to Washington.
I didn't expect you to give that up.
But Max, that's not fair.
It's not fair we started in different places?
What would be unfair is if I expected you to be where I am now.
I lost a girl once in my life.
And I vowed that if I ever felt that way about someone again, that I wouldn't take that lightly.
I wouldn't lose them.
I didn't want to lose you.
But we're supposed to be a couple, which means we're supposed to be on the same page, meet in the middle, travel together down a shared path.
And you're so far ahead of me, I don't even see you anymore.
So...
What now, then?
Slow down for a while.
And let me catch up?
I can do that.
I know you can.
What?