We'd like to congratulate Russell Cartwright on being this year's grant recipient.
Rusty? It's Dana. We met at orientation.
Did you know that I've had a crush on you since we met?
I liked you even when you were the Anchor.
Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee?
Are you freaking kidding me? You bl.
There's nothing you can say. We were all friends again.
Why did you have to screw it up? You screwed it up by getti back together with Cappie.
I'm not going to apologize for doing what I had to do for my house.
My house would never ask me to screw with people's lives.
No, you're just a bunch of losers while the rest of us, including your girlfriend, have real lives.
When am I supposed to compromise what I want for a relationship?
This is gonna be trickier than I thought.
Thanks for breakfast, Cap.
Who says guys can't cook? Oh, wow. This is amazing!
Oh, yeah, it's just this little something I threw together called Fruity Cocoa Cinnamon Sugar Frosted Honey Marshmallow Berry Waffle Pops with Clusters.
I was talking about this article on Paula Baker's bill limiting carbon emissions.
I worked on that bill as an intern at her office. "Worked on"?
OK, I made copies of it, but something I was a part of is actually going to the President of the United States to become a law!
I painted flames on my turtle.
That's pretty. He's not supposed to be pretty.
He's supposed to be awesome and intimidating.
Aren't you, Little Earnhardt, Junior...
Jr.
The KT 500 is about to begin. Turtles, to your starting gates!
I glued nunchucks on mine and named him Michelangelo.
Yeah? Well, we're gonna kick your Teenage Mutant Ninja ass.
It'd be so awesome to be there and be a part of the process, making laws.
You know, I thought you had a bad time in Washington.
Fetching coffee, making copies. They called you Elle Woods.
Yes, I remember, thank you.
But just because some people in Paula's office saw me as a vapid sorority girl doesn't mean I should give up.
It means I have to work harder to prove that's not me.
Good for you. You know who else won't give up?
Little Earnhardt Junior, Jr.
I need to focus on my future.
I mean, graduation's coming up and then... and then...
I think the turtle race is about to start.
Don't wanna miss that green flag. Uh-uh.
Sweet Mother of Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, is that the new Magtromex digital microscope?
I didn't even know it was out yet! Pretty great, huh?
I knew, thanks to your grant money, the new lab'd be hooked up, but this is like your own personal Bat Cave!
And you can use any of it whenever you want.
I may take you up on that.
Especially since I'm funding my own research now, and not saving as much as I'd hoped, although I did award myself the first annual Kettlewell Prize.
Congratulations? It's underfunded.
Looks like I'll be entering the work force.
Good morning, Cartwright.
Hello, person who's wasting Cartwright's time.
Actually, I've made some pretty good progress so far.
I got the wire to re-conduct for five minutes.
You must be proud of your little protege.
But you know what they say: Behind every great man...
...is a great roommate. You're still here?
You need to dig up a jacket and tie by tonight.
What for? It's time for your moment in the sun, Cartwright.
It seems that, um, someone talked up our Gary Wyatt Grant winner at the department meeting.
The dean of the Engineering school wants to meet CRU's new wunderkind.
The dean wants to meet me?
What about the winner of the Kettlewell Prize?
Would the dean like to meet him?
He will.
Ash, there's lipstick on this glass.
Eight hour no-smear is such a sham.
I'm not wearing any.
You said you were going to hire a new hasher.
OK, I'm still a little g*n-shy from the whole Fisher fiasco, but I will get to it. Eventually.
Abby, if you have to go to the bathroom, you can just go.
No, I'll do it. I'd be happy to find us a new hasher.
Ash, just let her, please.
OK, fine. Thanks, Abby. Great! I'll start making flyers!
You know, sometimes I really like her, and sometimes I feel like she might try to k*ll us in our sleep.
Forget about that. I have an important question to ask.
OK. Would you rather... have a potato chip from this bag... Mmm! Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy... or from that bag that's red?
OK, obviously, you want me to pick the crunchy one. Why?
It's for my retail marketing class.
My theory is that people'd rather go for crunch than what the bag looks like.
I'll put you down in the "prefers crunch" category.
I'm so happy that you decided to go into marketing after college.
I'm actually thinking about going back to Washington.
That's great! I brought it up with Cappie.
You and Cappie actually had a conversation about graduation?
I wouldn't actually call it a conversation.
We haven't talked about it since we got back together.
He hasn't even said the word.
Well, you have to live your own life, Casey.
You have to go after what you want and not worry about him.
I don't know where to begin if I go back to Washington.
Paula Baker's office saw me as Elle Woods, so that's not an option.
There's someone you could talk to who knows about Washington, whose dad was a senator, who's...
OK, we need a new hasher, stat!
I just found some leftovers in the fridge. They're Frannie's.
I can't believe I'm here. I keep thinking about all the Ph.D's that walked through that door.
Stay focused. You're meeting the dean of the department, not Justin Guarini from the American Idols.
It's OK. I prepared an amusing anecdote to tell the dean how I got my inspiration from watching my fraternity brothers sh**t pool.
No, you didn't. Don't talk about your frat house or toga parties or beer bongs...
I'm not gonna embarrass...
Hello, Milton.
This must be our new wunderkind.
Dr. Lundquist, Rusty Cartwright.
It's such a real honor to meet you, sir.
Please, I'm the one who should be honored.
Your self-healing wire is the talk of the department.
Thank you, sir. I'm always interested in where ideas come from.
Where did you get the inspiration for your breakthrough?
Ah, from these balls. They weren't actually mine.
I was holding on to someone else's.
They were my brother's balls.
The balls of my fraternity brothers.
They were pool balls, sir.
Combo sh*t led me to use the cross-linker. Fascinating.
You know, your discovery could mean big things for CRU, very big things:
Attracting higher enrollment, increased endowments.
It lets us say, "Suck it, MIT. We got Rusty Cartwright."
Wow!
I need to tell the trustees about our major breakthrough at the budget meeting next month.
Think you could have some patent-ready diagrams by then?
Aw, that's a little fast. We just started working...
He's being modest. He was just telling me he's making real progress, weren't you, Cartwright?
Ha! I knew we could count on our wunderkind.
Now, let me introduce the department heads.
They are dying to meet their future colleague.
What is going on here? We're here for the hasher job.
Hey, you're Ashleigh, right?
I'm Hunter. Oh, hell no.
What is going on here? It looks like GQ crashed into Men's Health and spilled hot guys all over our living room.
Oh, apparently the word was out about you and the last hasher hooking up, so a lot of the guys want the job.
These are the ones I really want... for the job.
Just because you have issues doesn't mean the rest of us shouldn't have our chance at a hasher hookup.
Excuse me, I'm looking for Casey.
She's not here right now.
I suppose I can talk to you, then.
I'm here about the flier.
The hasher job. Uh, I do have experience.
I waited tables at Bible camp.
And back home I cleaned up, uh, actual pigsties.
Oh, you're Rusty's funny friend, Kyle.
Dale. Once again, Dale.
Uh, I have a reference here from my boss one summer at Tacos and Donuts.
It was only for a couple of weeks.
They needed replacement dishwashers after this INS raid, but they let on that... You're hired.
Congratulations. Great.
Professor Hastings. Ah, the wunderkind.
Beats being the Anchor, doesn't it? That was amazing.
I'm practically on a first-name basis with three doctoral candidates and a Nobel Prize winner.
Do you think we can be patent-ready in a month like we promised Teddy?
Ted? Dr. Lundquist? You're going to have to be.
You're in the big leagues now, Cartwright.
But just to be sure, I thought you might be able to use some help.
So I arranged for an outstanding student from my advanced physics class to assist you.
Really? An assistant, huh? I've never had an assistant before.
Ah, here she is now. Cartwright, meet Stockwell.
Hey, Dana.
Actually, we know each other.
Is she asking me?
The way her inflection went up at the end there, it sounded like a question. We kinda met before.
Oh, I get that you want to work in Washington. The question is "Why?"
What do you mean?
DC's a dark and vile place full of bad, selfish people who have no interest in anything but corruption and blind power.
I don't believe it's all like that.
Hey, Casey! Hi! Dale.
Ashleigh waits a month to find a new hasher, and then hires Bible Boy. Wow, you're unpleasant.
Anyway, I prepared a shopping list.
If there's anything special you'd like, let me know.
I was thinking I might whip up a batch of my Aunt Gertie's award-winning vinegar pie just for you. Great.
That sounds disgusting. Wasn't offering any to you.
Anyway, have a blessed day, Case.
Guess Ashleigh and I won't be fighting over this one.
So, let's assume, for a second, that Washington isn't all a cesspool.
What do you want to do there?
Be a lobbyist, work for a federal agency, play for the Redskins? Lobbyist could be interesting.
OK. So you want to be a whore? That's what most of them are.
You have to wine and dine politicians, sometimes more.
It wouldn't be like that. I'd work for an environmental group.
So you'd be a green whore? How PC.
Maybe they could pay you in weed.
The truth is, I really want to work on new legislation, making laws.
Unless you're running for office, and that 16-year-old you slept with or the Psi Phi Pi brownies could be teensy problems.
You should probably start in Congress. How do I do that?
I might know someone you could talk to, but you'd owe me.
Seriously you wouldn't do me a favor this one time without expecting something in return? Nope.
That's your first lesson. Welcome to politics.
Hey, could you hand me the microthermometer?
You ever check the throughput on this fraction collector?
Yes. The microthermometer, please?
You should probably check it again.
You know, you're the assistant.
You're supposed to assist me.
Oh, right, because you're Mr. Wunderkind.
Big whoop.
Well, according to the dean, it's a fairly large whoop.
Look, I realize this is awkward, but we're just gonna have to work through it. Why is it awkward?
Because you said you liked me, and I didn't remember you.
Then I asked you out, and you blew me off.
Oh! Right. No. Now I see why it's awkward, for you.
Hey, this is a big deal for me, OK?
It wasn't too long ago I was the Anchor and now I'm about to have my name on a patent.
I appreciate your help, but we have to focus and work quickly if we're going to get this done on time, and it would be great if we could get along.
Are you trying to ask me out again?
You want me to ask you out again?
Well, it wouldn't be appropriate, would it?
I mean, I am your assistant. Right.
So could you hand me the microthermometer?
Will you please stop doing that?
If anybody knows his way inside the Beltway it's Joel.
He did a lot of heavy lifting on the Hill for my father.
He worked for your father?
Just because he worked for my dad doesn't make him a slimeball.
He's a do-gooder.
Rebecca! Hey.
How's your dad? Oh, you know, trying to fall back in love with my mom by never being in the same state with her.
Oh, this is my...
Casey. She wants to work in the cesspool of lies and greed known as Washington. I tried to talk her out of it.
Maybe she'll listen to you.
I happen to think politics gets a bad rap.
A lot of good comes out of Washington.
You want to barf, right? Same old Rebecca.
So, tell me what you've been doing, Casey.
What makes you think that you want to work in DC?
Well, I just feel like I have something to contribute.
It's why I kind of ran for ZBZ President, and why I've been working on Panhellenic, and why I interned for Paula Baker.
It sounds like you're on the right track, although it never hurts to have more experience for those Hill jobs.
Like working on a campaign? Among other things.
We always need help with voter registration.
We're trying to target more college students, get them involved in the process.
Is that something you'd be interested in?
Getting signatures? I can do that.
Great. I'll get the forms.
This is exciting.
Do little cartoon birds hold up your robe for you every morning?
Hey, Ashleigh, I got a question.
Yes, Dale, I've heard the good word.
Uh, not my question, but glad to hear it.
I thought it'd be nice to spruce up dinner tonight, and since I did take a napkin folding class at Christian manners camp, I was wondering, would you prefer the bird of paradise or the goblet fan fold?
Good one.
Oh! Um... the bird?
Excellent choice.
Billy Graham cr*cker has got to go.
What do you mean? The house is already cleaner, the pantry is stocked for the first time in weeks and, look, he made a little bird.
He put psalms in the cereal boxes, and instead of pouring the pretzels into bowls he lays them out in little crosses.
Yeah, so, he's a little religious.
I think what we're trying to say is, although we understand how Dale suits you and your issue, the house would be much better served with someone that's more in sync with the rest of us, someone that's more responsive to our needs...
Someone hotter that we can totally hook up with.
Someone... not Dale.
No.
Have you registered to vote? How about you?
No, thanks. It's your civic duty.
Nah, I'm good.
Hey, Case. How's it going?
Not great. People either don't know why they should register, don't know why they should register now or they think I'm a front for Scientology.
It was so much easier getting signatures for the Undie Run.
You're telling me college students are more into getting naked than voting?
I'm shocked.
Oh, hey, Rebecca told me about your plans to work in Washington.
You're not the only one with political aspirations.
I think that's great, Case. Thank you, Evan.
I'm glad to see that your personal life is not holding you back.
Thank you, Evan.
I think you're both delusional. Could be.
OK, I gotta get to class. See you later? OK.
Wow, looks like you and Evan are going strong.
Are we really gonna do this? Apparently not.
Good. We need to talk about your sales technique.
What's wrong with it? Are you kidding?
Politics is all about scare tactics.
Didn't you learn anything from the Bush years?
Watch and learn.
You're telling me if I don't register to vote they're gonna bring back the draft, and they're taking girls?
Where do I sign?
Impressive. And thank you again for introducing me to Joel.
You should thank me. After the election he's going back to DC as the representative's chief of staff... Oh.
Which means he's in charge of hiring legislative aides.
Which means if I impress him, then I could get one of those jobs.
And Cappie could open up a DC chapter of Kappa Tau.
We haven't talked about it. Good luck with that.
All right, you try these guys.
Hey, uh, register to vote, or they, uh, might outlaw p*rn.
Go! Come on!
Have any of you guys seen my project notebook?
You're missing all the excitement, Spitter.
There's the crowds, the crashes.
It's even better than last year's record-setting pace.
I think my turtle d*ed.
No, just pooped.
Maybe the lighter weight will speed him up.
Less wind resistance.
Or maybe that's just part of his strategy, like James Bond, so everyone behind him'll spin out on his poop slick.
See what you're missing?
Hey, actually, I was gonna ask you something.
Has Casey mentioned anything to you about me and her or... the "G" word?
I don't think it's appropriate to talk about that part of my sister's anatomy.
No, I'm talking black gowns, tassels...
Seriously, Cap, I don't want to talk about that.
Oh, you mean graduation? Yeah, that.
I never understood the appeal.
Why would I want to leave? My favorite coffee place is here, my friends are here. The weather never seems to change.
It won't always be that way.
Yeah, yeah, I know. The sun will eventually burn out, leaving the Earth a cold, lifeless cinder, but I figure by then I' get a scarf.
I mean, your friends won't always be here.
People are going to move on.
Remember how you felt losing Wade, almost Heath?
Casey's gonna graduate in May.
Thought you talked about this before you got back together.
Well... Oh, there it is.
Sorry.
That's the thing, we didn't.
One second, one second.
Hi, Professor Hastings. Yeah, I was just on my way back...
Yeah.
You're kidding me. It's gonna happen?
OK, I'll be back. Sure. OK.
Good news? There's gonna be an article about me, with photos, interviews, the whole deal.
The university is sending a photographer to take my picture today.
- I'm gonna be in EW. EW?
- Spitter's gonna be in Entertainment Weekly. -
- Awesome. Uh, Engineering Weekly.
Oh. Never mind. Mmm.
Still, good. All right, I gotta get going.
You look good for the photo. Thanks.
You know who else has been in EW? People like Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, and now Rusty Cartwright.
It's hard to believe. Yes, it is.
Hey, so how's that new hasher job going for you?
It's good. It's amazing what slobs sorority girls can be, but it's good.
I thought Ashleigh was never gonna hire anybody after the whole Fisher thing. Who's Fisher?
He's the guy who had the job before you when they were dating.
They had an intimate relationship?
Until they broke up, and then she fired him.
What?! I'm sorry I'm late.
Oh, wow.
Um, I'll catch up with you later.
Have you been waiting long? Uh... no.
I just got hair... here.
Go ahead and laugh, but I'll be the one laughing when my ex-partner sees this in EW.
This is how I would've looked 20 years ago if I got the credit I deserved for our miniature hard drive.
You would've had a toupee? I would've had my hair!
Along with everything else he got instead of me:
The success, the respect of our peers, the Victoria's Secret model.
This is just the beginning for us.
First EW, then Charlie Rose, and after that, who knows? Nova?
We don't even have a wire that lasts longer than five minutes.
Then I suggest you make that happen ASAP.
Everyone's counting on you, Cartwright.
OK, guys, let's get ready for the picture.
Move in a little closer.
Thanks. Hey, Casey.
Whoa! Are those all new voter registrations?
Uh, yep. Um, and I already edited out all the Eileen Dovers and Ivana Nailors.
So they're pretty much good to go.
Wow, you're really good at this. Thanks!
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you speak to what's important to people.
It's kind of how I felt working for Paula Baker on the carbon emissions bill.
I didn't know you worked on the Baker bill.
Yeah. Um...
Well, I was just happy to see it made it out of conference committee without a lot of amendments.
Oh, me, too. It's a good piece of legislation.
Let me know if you want to do some more campus registrations.
Actually, I had this idea to get a lot of new student voters all at once.
There's this bar near campus called Dobler's...
I went to law school at CRU. I'm familiar with Dobler's, perhaps too familiar.
I was thinking that we could throw a big voter registration party with this organization called Do Something, that promotes students getting involved.
We could offer a free cover for every new voter.
You know, that is a really good idea.
If you could pull that off, it'd be great.
Better than great, it'd be fantastic.
Maybe even impressive? Are you kidding? Big time.
So, Dale, um... Hi.
Ooh, shiny. Drop the act, Ashleigh.
I know what this is all about. You do?
I know the real reason you hired me.
Oh.
Dale, I don't know what to say. I...
Well, I heard about what happened with my predecessor, and it's pretty clear to me that you expect the hasher to be your personal concubine.
Wait, what?
Well, despite what you may have heard about my recent... lapse, I'm not that kind of guy anymore, OK?
I can't be your new hasher boy-toy.
Oh, my God, you're such a riot.
You're like Dane Cook, but funny.
Sexual harassment is no laughing matter.
I felt your yearning looks as I leave a room, the accidental physical contact.
Seriously? I need a secure job to fund my project.
I can't afford to be your plaything and be tossed aside once you inevitably desire a new carnal conquest.
You know, I'm sorry, Ashleigh, I quit.
Dana.
You were sleeping. Why aren't you working?
OK, first of all, it's rude to speak in that tone of voice to someone who just woke up.
Sorry, but we're on a tight schedule here.
There's a lot of people waiting for me to finish this.
Uh... Yeah, I, uh, I hate to break it to you, but I don't actually think that's gonna happen any time soon.
What are you talking about? I checked your work, and it looks like you're heading for a dead end.
With the current formulation, maybe we can push the wire to reconduct for 20 minutes, half hour tops.
But the decay'll accelerate and then it's dead.
No offense, but I don't think you know what you're talking about.
I think I know as much as you do, and you might see that if you weren't so cocky all the time.
I am not being cocky. I did win a major grant for this.
OK, that sounded cocky, but you just said my wire won't work.
Not unless you plan to keep the environmental temperature at absolute zero.
A patentable prototype at room temperature? Ch-yeah, right!
You're gonna have to start out with a new formula.
Now this doesn't have anything to do with you being mad at me for forgetting your name at first, right?
What?! Oh, my God!
I was just asking. That was out of line.
But if this is about that, I said I was sorry.
I wanted to go out with you. I'm out of here.
But, um, if you can climb off your ginormous ego for five minutes, which is about how long your stupid wire's ever gonna last, you might wanna check my notes.
It's all in there in black and white.
Later, dunderkind.
Wow, someone's in a good mood.
Um, yeah, well, I think I might have some pretty exciting news.
Things have been getting pretty exciting here, too.
I think Earnhardt is gonna try and make his move coming into this next turn.
Yeah, it's a nail-biter, all right.
Listen, I had this idea for a voter registration party at Dobler's.
Well, that is exciting. No, that's not it.
But, if it goes well and if this congresswoman gets re-elected, I might have a sh*t at a job in Washington in the fall.
And not just making copies, but a real job as a legislative aide.
Well, you know what they say:
When life gives you legislatives, make legislative aide.
That's great, Case.
Anyway, um, that's really soon.
So... I think, maybe, we should talk about, you know, the future.
And I was wondering what you were thinking about you and me and, um... graduation?
So, what do you think?
I like turtles.
What? Listen, Case, I know it may not seem like it, but I have given this a lot of thought, and I have a plan.
You do? That's great. What is it?
We'll figure it out when the time comes.
That's your plan? Yeah.
That's not a plan. That is a plan to make a plan.
Which is a plan, is it not? You don't even have a major.
I just don't see the need to hash out all the details before it's absolutely necessary.
If you'll excuse me, I thjnk Earnhardt blew out a left rear claw.
I think I need to get him into the pit crew.
Uh, Ash said to give you this.
Dale's last, and only, hasher check.
Why couldn't he come himself?
He said he wanted to, quote, "avoid even the appearance of impropriety," whatever that means.
Yeah... Oh, hey, um, I don't know if you heard, but I am throwing this voter registration party at Dobler's tonight.
- You should come. I can't. I'm being interviewed by EW tonight.
- Oh! Engineering Weekly.
Oh, yeah. Got it. But that's, like, a really big deal, right?
You should be proud.
Yeah, sure. Here, let's sit for a second.
It's just, uh, I have this assistant who thinks I'm heading down a blind alley with my wire, so I'm not feeling all that proud right now.
Hey, but this party of yours sounds impressive.
Yeah, I'm hoping it'll get me a job in DC, but it's causing this weirdness between me and Cappie, and I don't know if it's even worth it
'cause Rebec says everyone in Washington is a slimeball.
Why are you listening to Rebecca? Good point.
But what about Cappie?
Maybe Cappie will surprise you.
Maybe.
And maybe you should be more excited about this interview.
You've worked hard. Enjoy it. I know.
Look at us.
The Cartwrights are kicking ass.
Yes, we are.
Hey! So, who's the hottie I saw you talking to downstairs?
That would be Hunter, our new hasher.
His name's Hunter? Seriously?
What happened to Bible Boy? He didn't want to be my sexual plaything.
Ash, has it really come to that?
So Hunter's all yours. You can kiss him, jump on him, roll him in bread crumbs for all I care, 'cause I am done with the whole Fisher thing.
OK, that new hasher has got to go.
You're kidding, right?
He is smokin' hot! I thought that's what everybody wanted.
We thought so, too, but we get a bad feeling about him.
He seems kinda pervy. We want Dale back.
He's weird and judgey, but we trust him.
Well, I can't get Dale back. He quit.
I brought you ladies some towels in case you want to take a shower later.
Thank you.
I'll call Dale. Yeah.
Well... I'm impressed.
You actually made registering to vote not seem like a total boring waste of time.
Yeah, I hope Joel feels the same way, mostly.
Have you seen him yet? No, but here's your boyfriend.
Rebecca. Hey, Case.
Hey. Can I get you a drink?
I can't. Working. I would love a water.
Water. OK, sure.
That was awkward. What's up?
Um, are we really going to do this? Yeah.
Fine. Um, I told him about Washington, !nd that we should talk about graduation.
What did he say? "I like turtles."
Oh. Well, what'd you expect?
That's our... uh, your Cappie.
Great turnout, Casey. I'm impressed. Thanks, Joel.
With these demos, we can really address a solid voting block.
Yawn. Wonk talk. That's my cue.
This place is packed. Casey must be really happy.
She would be, but she tried to talk to Cappie about working in Washington after graduation, and he just wants to talk about turtles.
Of course.
I knew you'd find a way to blow it.
You know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity.
It's turning out just like I said:
Casey's gonna leave you after graduation, and what will you have left here? Turtles.
Oh, here you go.
Um, it's going really, really well.
Actually, I was thinking about, um, doing a bunch of these at college campuses all over the district.
That sounds interesting. I'd like to talk more about that with you.
Why don't you come back to my apartment later for a debriefing.
Casey, if you want to talk about Washington we should talk about Washington.
It's OK. I don't think it's going to be an issue.
So, on behalf of ZBZ, I'd like you to know that we would really... You want to close the front door?
No, I prefer to leave it open, if you don't mind.
Great. Anyway, I would really like it if you would consider coming back.
Are you asking for the house or for you?
For the house. Definitely the house.
We need you, Dale, and not some flashy hunkazoid in a cashmere V-neck.
If you were a chip, you would be the crunchy kind in a plain, honest bag.
I'm saying, I like your package.
Obviously, there would have to be some ground rules.
You'd have to take a sexual harassment seminar and agree to sign a contract swearing not to make any unwanted advances.
I will do that. So, are we good?
You'll come back and be our hasher?
Let me sleep on it.
Alone.
Ah, this must be our young Einstein now.
Cartwright, this is David Fanning from Engineering Weekly.
Hello. Can't wait to hear all about this wire of yours that's going to change the world.
Can we go off the record?
Well, we haven't gone on the record yet.
What are you doing, Cartwright?
Dana thinks we may have found a problem with our new formula.
That's interesting, and something we should talk about after we're interviewed by a national science publication.
Back on the record. Off the record.
She thinks we're heading for a dead end, which means a patentable prototype might not be possible for years, if at all.
That's ridiculous. Back on the record.
Off the record.
I think she may be right.
I think we should cancel this interview, tell the dean.
Are you insane? Opportunities for recognition like this come around once in a lifetime, twice only if you're very, very lucky.
I'm not about to let this one pass me by.
I don't understand. Am I supposed to pretend that everything's OK so you can get back at your ex-partner who screwed you over 20 years ago?
So you do understand.
Sorry. The brilliant ones are always a little off.
It's not easy being the wunderkind.
Oh, please stop calling me that.
Look, I got this wire to self-heal, turn on a light bulb for five minutes.
So far that's all it does.
Maybe one day it will change the world, and I really hope I'm the one to do that, but right now, it just has potential.
Potential, like me, I hope.
So if you don't mind, I'd rather not do this because I don't feel like a genius, I'm not a wunderkind, I'm not a wunder-anything.
And in case there's any way you didn't know, that's not his hair.
Is that on or off threcord?
Right.
I've been thinking about what you'll owe me.
If you become president, I want ambassadorship to France...
...or a battleship. You might have been right about politics being scummy. I think Joel hit on me.
He asked me to his place for a "debriefing."
That was my dad's line.
I didn't think Joel was like that.
Why are all guys so disappointing?
Damn it, I really wanted that job.
Well, if you really want the job... No, uh-uh.
I'm going to get to Washington, but I'll be damned if I get there that way.
Shouldn't you be telling that to the slimeball?
You're right.
Hey. Let me tell you something, Joel.
Slimeballs like you are the reason why politics suck.
Everybody's in it for what they can get. You know what?
You're not getting me. I am not having sex with you.
So are we all still going back to your apartment for the debriefing?
Wait, you're going back to his apartment, too?
All of you?
Please say you're planning some really weird orgy.
Maybe he thought it was funny.
Yeah, I'm sure he thought it was hysterical.
I blame you. Me? What did I do?
You're the one who put it in my head that everyone in politics is a slimeball.
I didn't tell you to call him one. Yes, you did.
Uh, thought you guys might like a healthy snack, so I threw together a crudite, beef sticks and Cheesaritos for Cappie. Thanks, Daley.
Great, he's back.
I really thought I had that job.
Clearly, I don't belong there. You know what?
Yes, you do. Well, what am I supposed to do now?
I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
You're gonna go talk to that guy and you're gonna get that job back.
I can't, I am too humiliated.
You're Casey Cartwright. You can do anything you want.
That's how I know you're gonna go to Washington, and you're gonna be amazing.
OK, even if I could, what about us?
What about... Graduation?
Oh, my God, he said it.
You'll never leave here. You love it too much.
That's true, I do love it here.
But I don't think I could be anywhere that didn't have you.
Aww! We'll be fine.
So go get that job.
I'd kiss you for luck, but I've got beef stick breath.
You wanted to see me?
That was quite a little stunt you pulled.
When the dean heard about it, he wanted to have us both expelled... from the country!
Fortunately, I reminded him that I have tenure, and that you're the Gary Wyatt Grant winner, so we're both safe. For now.
Thanks.
I realize that my first impression was right about you.
What was that? That you lack drive, ambition.
It isn't just about the science, you know.
You're never gonna get anywhere with that "aww, shucks" attitude.
Trust me, nobody's gonna toot your horn if you can't do it yourself.
Maybe you're right. I just couldn't pretend I deserve it.
I hope I'll get another chance when the time is right.
But if I don't, I'm not gonna let it rule my life.
Try reversing the polarity on the capacitors.
Excuse me?
Casey? I just want you to know how sorry I am about the misunderstanding last night, really sorry.
If there's any way you could forget that it happened, that'd be great. And I hope you'll still consider me for a legislative aide job in Washington, because I know that I would be great at it.
But I am sorry. I already said that, but I am sorry.
First off... there's no need to apologize. I should have been clearer.
And I think there may have been another misunderstanding.
You were never gonna be considered for a legislative aide job.
Oh. You're an incredibly smart and resourceful person, and someday you're gonna do great in Washington.
But we mostly hire people with postgraduate degrees for those jobs.
With a bachelor's degree you could maybe cover the phones or answer constituent correspondence... But I want to do more.
Then you're gonna need more experience or more education, maybe in local government.
Have you thought about graduate school? What about law school?
I thought about law school, but it was kind of for a boyfriend, though.
Well, maybe you should really consider it for yourself.
I will. Um, thanks.
I still know some people in law school here.
Deadlines are coming up, so if you decide to apply and want some help...
And that is not a come-on, by the way.
Thanks. I'd welcome that. The help, not the come-on.
OK.
So, you really botched it with the dean, huh?
You heard about that?
Nerd Twitter's all atwitter about it.
So I guess now the pressure's off, you don't need me anymore?
Actually, I'd really like you to stay. I mean, if you want.
I read your notes. I think you were right about the dead end.
And if I'm going to have to work up a new formula, I could really use your help.
Maybe you're not as big of a jerk as I thought you were.
Thanks. I said "maybe."
Um, OK, so where do we start?
Professor Hastings thinks we should try reversing the polarity on the capacitors. He's probably right.
Oh, hand me that cooling fan.
Oh, it's over? I can't believe I missed the whole turtle race.
Relax, Spitter, I believe there's still a straggler or two.
Oh, hey, how did your, um, interview go?
When is the magazine coming out? That's not gonna happen.
Not yet. I decided that when it does happen, I want it to be the right way.
Well, I've made a decision, too. I'm gonna go to law school.
That's great, Case.
And I've made a pretty big decision myself.
Check this out.
This is a form for declaring a major.
Oh, my God, you declared a major?
That's amazing.
Wait, this is blank. Well, baby steps, Russ.
You know what they say about slow and steady.
And it's down to the wire! No telling how this one will end.
And... Earnhardt takes the checkered flag! Whoo!