03x10 - Tex Therapy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Private Eyes". Aired: May 2016 to present.*
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"Private Eyes" follows an ex-pro hockey player, who irrevocably changes his life when he decides to team up with a fierce P.I. to form an unlikely investigative powerhouse, investigating high-stakes crimes in the worlds of horse racing, fine dining, Toronto's vibrant hip-hop scene, scandalous literature, magic clubs, and more. Based on the novel "The Code".
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03x10 - Tex Therapy

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ I'm back in Toronto, back in the six, ♪

♪ chillin' through the city, chillin' with the clique ♪

♪ I roll around town in my Monte Carlo ♪

♪ In the backwater George Chuvalo ♪

♪ I believe he's coming through Strikes like lightning ♪ Matt Shade!

Hey.

It is you. (SONG ENDS)

Stefani Tadson, huge fan, reporter for Flashback.

Uh, yeah, sure, the sports lifestyle show.

Yeah, where are they now? They being you.

And where are you?

Clearly still in hella great shape.

Yeah, thanks. (STEFANI LAUGHING)

I swear I was just putting together a reel the other day, and there's you playing against Sacramento in the quarterfinals.

You got your own rebound off the goalpost to score the game winner. It was legendary!

Yeah. Well, you know your stuff.

I don't want to ambush, but I'd love to do a piece on you. You know what? Don't say anything now, just take my card.

Call me later.

I will. ♪♪

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey.

Hello, it's Angela. Angie. [UH, YEAH, ]

I think we've met. Matthew. Some people call me Matt.

I haven't had coffee yet.

[Oh, I'll bring you one. I'm coming in.]

What's up? [Danica called. Might have] a case for us. Supposed to meet her at the St. Lucius Hospital.

OK. I'll pick you up. Cool! Yeah, cool!

Coolio! (BEEP)

I am about to blow your mind.

Jujubes? Not just candy, my fruit guy told me... and yes, before we continue, I do have a fruit guy...

Something's off. I can sense it.

Hmmm... allergies?

No. It's you and Shade.

Did you guys have a fight?

Was staying at his place the worst?

Oh. My. God.

Did you accidentally see each other naked?

What? No. Everything's fine, we are fine, and there's a very important case on the docket that requires all of your attention.

Got it. What's the case? I have no idea.

So earlier this morning, two patrol cops found this guy in a park. No I.D., no phone, no shoes.

Someone had a rough night. Or a really good one.

Anyway, we have no idea who he is, and neither does he.

Amnesia? It looks like that.

Also, his fingerprints aren't in the system.

Um, we should talk about the other night.

Oh! Yeah, uh... Thank God for Don, right?

Pretty much saved us from making the worst decision of our lives. Am I right?

Sure.

Sir, no, no. You can't. You can't get up.

♪♪

Mark?

Who's Mark? He's been mentioning that name a few times. This is Angie Everett and Matt Shade.

Do you recognize either of them? Only as humans.

(ANGIE GIGGLING)

It's funny. Have you two ever seen this man before? No.

Never? Are you sure?

We're sure we've never seen him, why?

According to this, he knows you.

♪♪

♪ I see you and you see me ♪

♪ Watch you blowing the lines when you're making a scene ♪

♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪

♪ What my head overlooks ♪

♪ The senses will show to my heart ♪

♪ When it's watching for lies ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't escape my ♪

♪ Private eyes ♪

♪ They're watching you ♪

♪ Private eyes ♪

♪ They're watching you, watching you ♪

♪ Watching you, watching you ♪

Every body tells a story. X-Ray show that, over the years, you've broken nearly every bone in your body.

Maybe he was a boxer.

Were you. A. Boxer? He lost his memory, not his hearing. But that was kind of adorable.

Over the past 24 hours, he's suffered some bruising to his back and to his hips, but it was head trauma that caused the retrograde amnesia. Do you know when he'll get his memory back? - Great question.

Unfortunately, no way of knowing when or to what extent.

We'll do an MRI, but if there's no brain damage, he'll be released in a day or two.

I'll check in later.

(INDISTINCT INTERCOM MESSAGE)

That's Texas. Is that where you're from?

You got me. So, this is his casefile and the only other piece of evidence found on his person.

(ANGIE): What is that, a paperclip bracelet?

He was found here. So, if you could figure out who this man is and report back to me...

You're hiring us? No. I...

You're doing this out of the goodness of your hearts, pro bono. (CASSIE AND MATT LAUGHING)

Pro-no-no. See? We don't do free.

Oh, me neither.

But in the last two months, I have for license plates, I have for traffic footage, on addition to taking on Maz's entire workload and a whole string of thefts of my own that I am not even close to solving, so pay up.

We'll take it. Thank you.

Good luck.

Hey, we're gonna need to call you something.

What about Tex?

I like it. Cool. Say cheese.

(CLICK)

Did you really need a souvenir?

What? I'm sending it to Zoe, so she can put it in the missing persons database, and maybe we'll get a match.

That is a good idea. Why do you think Tex had our card on him? Maybe he wanted to hire us.

Which means he could be in danger.

Or was just trying to find out if his wife was cheating on him.

Wife? No. I didn't see a ring.

Plus, he's got a sort of single vibe, don't you think?

Green Gully Park, this is the place.

Did you find anything yet?

Nada. You? No.

Are you sure we've got the right spot?

I know how to read a map.

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

It's over there.

Wait. Shade, check it out.

Paperclips?

Yep, and there's more.

Huh? (CRACKING AND RUSTLING)

Mystery man 10 o'clock. Check out his shoes, they're brand new. (ANGIE): Shall we?

Thieves! I saw you take my keys!

We're not here to steal anything.

We just have some questions. Sister, you're one of us.

Are you from the future or the past?

Uh... the future. And I brought a friend.

Excellent! Step into my office.

Now, tell me what you seek.

We're looking for this guy. Ah, the broken man.

He tumbled down the hill. Perhaps out of a portal.

He had no key, so I traded.

The paperclips for his shoes?

A fair trade. He came from up there?

Beware, the buzzers and honkers will spit you out.

Here.

Take this.

Key to the portals, so you can return to the future and the life you choose. Here you go.

No, no, I couldn't. Fair trade for your help.

Thank you, future man.

Buzzers and honkers, they'll spit you out?

They'll spit you out. And here I thought your poetry-slam days were behind you.

There's no crosswalks, no sidewalks.

I mean, what was Tex even doing here?

Yeah. Ah, skid marks.

And a traffic camera. Call Danica, see if she can pull up the footage. Alright.

♪♪ (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Matt Shade. [Matt, it's Stef.]

Oh, that was quick.

So was your message. Man of few words.

I like to get to the point.

Care to prove that tonight? [Tonight?]

Yeah, we typically do a couple of pre-interviews before we start putting the show together. Are you game?

Dinner's on me. [Hey! See] if she can get footage of the traffic coming from both directions. Yeah. Tonight would be great.

No, tonight's terrible, we need this stuff now!

I'm interrupting.

Yeah, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Why don't you send me a text, we'll work it out, OK?

OK. See you later. Ciao.

Well, are we getting the footage or not?

Uh... that wasn't Danica.

Oh. It was a reporter.

She's interviewing me for Flashback, the TV show.

You know, you don't have to lie, it's OK if you're going on a date.

No, it's not a date. Fans wanna know where I've been all these years, where I'm going.

You're going somewhere? Where I am, what I'm doing now. OK.

I'm gonna go visit Tex, and I'm gonna talk him through what we found.

You go to the cop shop and see if Danica can dig up footage.

Alright. I'll give you a ride. No. Don't worry about it.

It's out of your way. I'll take a cab.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(MATT): There he is.

What are you waiting for?

Angie? Isn't...

Don't you two always roll together?

Isn't she like the Batman to your Robin?

Or the Tegan to your Sara?

Or the Virtue to your Moir?

OK, first of all, I'm Batman, OK? Me.

Secondly, we're not joined at the hip.

OK.

Oh, my God! Wow!

Well, that explains the injuries.

♪♪

There's a special place in Hell for people who hit and run.

OK, I got a clear sh*t at the license plate.

Mm-hmm. (TAPPING ON KEYBOARD)

I'm gonna run it. I'm gonna text the photo of that woman to Angie, see if Tex recognizes her.

I was being chased.

(SIGHING) I wonder if I know her.

If you do, I would consider making new friends.

What's this?

"5 of diamonds, 54, song bowl."

I've been writing down anything that pops into my head.

It's mostly gibberish. Hmm!

"Brown-eyed girl," someone you know?

Maybe that's you.

(CHUCKLING) At least we know you're a flirt.

(CELL PHONE RINGING) Oh! Hey.

Oh. Yeah, sure, I'm on my way.

(MURMURING): Talk to you later. Yeah.

(SOBBING): You won't tell my parents, will you?

They'll k*ll me if they know I borrowed their car to pick up Trish. But she's so dramatic.

Like, if we didn't get in on the university's scavenger hunt, we'd be ruined, right?

I have a whole new appreciation for Jules right now. The emotions just keep coming.

I'm super freaking out.

Well, you did hit someone with your car.

Am I going to jail?!

Could you just tell us what happened?

(YOUNG WOMAN WHIMPERING)

Yeah. I want to preface this by saying I was for sure going the speed limit, OK?

OK. Super OK.

So I'm driving, and something just runs out in front of me.

And I think it's a deer or something. It's so fast, right?

So I get out of the car, and I see that it's this guy.

And he's tough and scowly.

But also super cute, which is confusing, right?

But then I see it, and I'm like, "Nope." So I get in my car and drive off.

"See it"? What did you see?

The g*n!

This is silly. We don't even know if Tex had a g*n.

Driver of the car was pretty clear.

A hysterical 20-year-old who just got in a hit and run isn't exactly a reliable witness.

If the g*n is here, we can run it through ballistics, see if it's been used in any crimes, maybe find out who Tex is. Why crimes?

That's what criminals do. You think Tex is a criminal?

Ooh, if the g*n fits... He could be a cop.

His prints would be on file.

Yeah, the same place they'd be if he was a criminal.

He said he was being chased.

Maybe because he was doing something illegal.

Like what? I don't know. Robbing, stealing, stalking. OK, fine, so let's say he might be a criminal.

That is what I've been saying. Why are you getting so mad?

I'm not getting mad. (CELL PHONE RINGING)

(BEEP) Hey, Zoe. What do you got?

I don't want to call myself a genius, but I was staring at Tex's list of words, and I started thinking, "What the heck-a-doodle is the five of diamonds?"

So I started digging, and I found a bar called the Five of Diamonds.

Well, a lot of thought went into that one, huh?

How do we know that the words Tex wrote refers to a bar?

[I cross-referenced Tex's image] with the Five of Diamonds, and I got a hit on the bar's ameechee page.

Sent you the address. ANGIE: [Thanks, Zoe.]

(BEEP) (COP): Got it.

You were saying? Let's go.

♪♪

(POOL BALL HITTING OTHER BALLS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Ooh, I like this place. (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, can I get you something?

We're looking for some answers. You know this guy?

(SIGHING) Who's asking?

You're looking at him.

Who's he to you? Let's just say we're friends.

No. Never seen him. Can we speak to the manager?

You just did, honey.

And if you want to talk to the owner, same guy.

Alright. do you mind if we show this picture to some customers?

Look, people come here to drink and relax, not to be hassled by two strangers nosing their way in, starting to ask questions.

Guess that's a no.

He definitely knows Tex.

He's probably calling him right now.

On the phone we don't have.

Probably a burner anyway. How do you figure?

Seedy bar, defensive bartender, not to mention g*n. You're being biased.

In my opinion, we do not have all the facts.

Maybe our bartender will make a move.

♪♪ Maybe sooner than we thought.

What does your unbiased opinion say about that?

Hey, it's Colin. Are you in?

♪♪

(SIGHING)

(ELEVATOR DING)

OK, rationale for breaking in, go.

We've been hired to find out who Tex is, and this might be his apartment.

We know there's no one inside. You know how to pick a lock.

♪♪

Well, it's a little sparse for my taste.

You think?

"Two people came by looking for you. I got descriptions."

Definitely Tex's apartment.

♪♪

OK... Guess he's looking for someone.

Got a file here for "Green."

Empty. Oh!

I've got brass knuckles, fake badges.

Both of which scream upstanding citizen.

OK, you win. Hey, maybe he's someone good who got caught up in something bad.

You don't need to make me feel better about him.

I don't think I could. Saw the way you looked at the guy.

Potted plant. So?

You see any other decorating touches around this place?

I'll check the last number he dialed.

(AUTOMATED VOICE): Last number dialed, 416-555-0184.

(PHONE RINGING) Hey, boss. How's Sexy Texy?

What did I say about nicknames? My talents are wasted on you.

Can you do a reverse lookup? 416-555-0184.

OK. Hold on a sec.

Hey, are you ready for this?

Think I found a name for our friend Tex.

Anthony Brown. Really?

Never took him for a Tony. No, you don't like that?

How about Carter Smith?

Lars Andersen? Ooh, Marty McDonner!

What the... He's got a half-dozen identities here.

All top quality too, professional.

Just when you think you don't know someone, you find out you really don't know them.

Who is this guy? Spy?

Hitman? The real Jason Bourne?

[HEY, THE NUMBER YOU GAVE ME BELONGS TO] a Mark Green. I'll text you his details.

I'll call you back.

OK, first time we meet Tex, he thinks you're a guy named Mark and here we find a file named Green.

And knowing what we know about Tex now, this Mark could be anyone.

Partner? Rival? Or a target.

I think we should call Danica. And say what?

You got a better idea? Yeah.

- Mark Green? Yes.

This is my wife Candice.

Take a seat. OK.

What's this all about? We know what you tried to do.

We have proof. What are they talking about?

I have no idea. We're talking about him.

That's Ethan.

He's in the hospital. Is he... is he OK?

Is he a friend? Family?

No. He's our private investigator.

♪♪ Ethan Clarkson? Technically, it's Texas Ethan Clarkson. Hey, you guessed my name.

Well, you do have a tattoo of Texas, it wasn't that much of a stretch.

You own your own firm.

T.C. Investigative Solutions.

And Mark hired you to find a stolen sketch.

An original Egon Schiele.

Uh, uh... you have the picture.

Oh, geez, I'm such a clod!

Ah, thank you. Just shove it in.

It was a wedding gift from our families.

(MARK): At last appraisal, it was worth nearly $500,000.

Wow!

So you called the police?

They've had a few art thefts recently. They said something like this gets sold on the black market right away.

It's probably gone forever.

Maybe not.

Tex may have been onto something. There's gotta be a reason he was on Valley Road. "Valley Road"?

It's where Intimate Intentions is.

What's that? It's a retreat.

Candice and I have been going there for a year to, uh... recharge.

We haven't been in about three months.

Anyone there know that you own that sketch?

Doctor Lisa is a collector.

Doctor? Intimate Intentions is a very special place.

It's been a lifesaver for us.

(ANGIE): OK, I just texted Danica about the sketch.

I figured it might have something to do with the string of thefts she mentioned.

(MATT): Good call. (BIRDS SINGING)

♪♪

"Intimate Intentions," it's a little on the nose, isn't it?

It's a little on something.

Let's just make this quick. That's what he said.

♪♪

(MAN): Welcome to Intimate Intentions.

(ANGIE): We'd like to speak to Dr. Lisa.

Oh, she's fully booked today.

Is there any other way I can make your day more sex positive?

Uhhh... no, we're good.

OK.

How can you say that, Matthew?

When are you gonna start being honest with yourself?

With me, for once? (SOFT SOBBING)

I'm... sorry. Do you need a tissue?

No! What we need is help! We need a miracle!

We need Dr. Lisa! (ANGIE HYPERVENTILATING)

I can't breathe. Let me see what I can do.

Help me. Yeah, yeah.

(DR. LISA): So this is an emergency appointment, so let's just jump right in.

How long have you two been together?

Two years. Three years.

OK... And how's your sex life?

OK, we've struck a nerve.

You can talk freely. What's this about?

Matthew, you first.

Uh, uh, well... Uh... what it's been about, for a while, is... whether or not we should...

get one of those.

A sex swing?

Uh-huh. They can be liberating, but intimidating.

Let's talk about what it means for you to have one.

I, uh... I don't really think Mr. Inflexible over here could handle it.

Stretching could help. Oh no, I'm talking about anything new. Change is not his thing.

Since when is change not my thing?

Don't you remember "Meat-free Mondays" experiments?

Threw off his whole week. I know what I want, and I go for it. You, one minute you're into the swing; next minute, not at all.

Well, it takes me a while to figure things out.

The swing's a big deal, I wanna be sure about it.

Let's try an exercise.

Thinking in context of the swing, why don't you tell each other why you're afraid?

And use the phrase "I am afraid" to each other. ♪♪

(ANGIE CLEARING HER THROAT)

I am afraid that if we... get the swing, then everything in our lives will be about the swing.

There will be all these expectations, and the pressure will be too much.

Good. Now, Matthew, tell Angela why you're nervous about getting a swing.

I am afraid that I'll screw it up.

I've had swings before, and I always seem to break them.

So you're assuming that you'd break the swing? Holy arrogance!

You won't even talk about the swing.

So where does that leave me?

I'm not gonna wait around to get a swing forever.

I think we've gone off course. Could I get a glass of water, please? I think I just... I need a moment.

Of course. ♪♪

Angie... Just cover the door.

I'm gonna check her schedule.

(ANGIE TAPPING ON KEYBOARD) I really think we need to talk about this. I think we just did.

(SIGHING)

It's a dead end anyway.

She was in Chicago the same week the sketch was stolen.

She's coming. ♪♪

We're out of time, but I think we should put something in the books.

You both have a lot more to talk about.

(REVERBERATING RINGING SOUND)

Shhh! Do you hear that? That ringing sound?

No, it's a singing sound. Song bowls, it was on Tex's list. (MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Reaching forward, letting those hips sink into the ground.

(CELL PHONE RINGING) We are in the right place.

(MAN): Letting in that breath deep.

Hello?

Yeah, sure, we got it.

OK. That was Danica. Tex is being released from the hospital; we can pick him up.

Uh... I can't, I got that interview with that Flashback reporter. Oh, right.

I could cancel. Oh. No, no, no.

I can handle Tex. You go. Be interviewed. Have fun.

(SIGHING)

♪♪

(INDISTINCT SONG PLAYING) (STEFANI): This is cute.

My dad owns it. It's kind of my go-to.

Let's start with your new career.

What drew you to the PI life?

OK. Well, it was a young hockey prospect that I'd scouted who I was hoping would get drafted.

His career was being sabotaged. Oh!

I was investigating it, and that's when I met Angie.

Everett. Owner of the Everett Agency. OK.

Now, did you and Angie hit it off immediately?

No. Not at all.

In fact, she warned, threatened, demanded that I back off.

So you pursued her then? Professionally, I mean.

Well, when I see something I want, I go after it.

OK. So you and Angie, what makes you two such a great team?

Uhhh... we're honest with each other, and she's smart, funny, easy to be around.

Like a match made in heaven.

Haha! Yeah, you'd think, wouldn't you?

What do you mean? Nothing.

Haha! You know, let's... let's just go all the way back to a young hockey player barely out of his teens first hitting the big leagues. Day one, tell me about it.

(SONG ONE LOVE BY VALK) - OK, it says here that you help locate sculptures ancient texts, a Fabergé egg.

You specialize in lost and stolen art, which explains all your fake identities.

Oh! Look, you also live on the West Coast.

"Seattle." I've heard it's beautiful.

Do you kayak? No.

'Cause I do. Once with whales.

This is working. Things are starting to come back to me.

I told you we'd find stuff on the Web.

You're a genius. More. Alright. Hmm...

Oh, wow!

You were a cop.

I remember dr*gs...

Was I a dirty cop? No. No, no, no, no.

Undercover. You were instrumental in bringing down a major drug ring.

And that's why your fingerprints were never on file.

I lived in Colombia.

Damn, this article blew my cover, it k*lled my whole career. But it made Britney happy.

Britney? My little sister.

Oh!

Hey, you know what?

I just remembered something else.

I'm single.

Huh?

Hmm... Refill?

You know, this is not fair. You know so much about me, and I really know nothing about you.

Oh, I'm pretty basic.

I doubt that. ♪♪ Let's see. Let's see if I'm as good a detective as the Internet says.

OK. sh**t.

Judging by the placement of your father's mementoes, says you two had a pretty strong bond, but the crumpled sticky on your fridge reminding you to call Mom speaks to... a strained relationship.

Batch of melatonin on the counter speaks to insomnia.

And the fact that you have old Everett Agency letterhead floating around, that means you haven't had a partner for very long.

Aren't you just a regular Cumberbatch.


And you're also smart, witty, a little clumsy.

And you got that from...? Watching you.

Not in a creepy way.

Ah...

And now, I bet I can guess what you do when you can't sleep.

Research.

(FEMALE SINGER VOCALIZING)

♪ One love altogether ♪

(DOOR OPENING)

Good morning! Hey!

Someone engine's running this morning.

Ask me how my night was. Pretend I just did.

Fabulous!

Hey, Shade. Hey.

Angie, toothbrush?

Uh, bottom left drawer.

Got it.

So, Tex spent the night, huh?

No.

Yes, but not like that.

We got caught up doing research. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Check it out.

Mark and Candice used to go to Intimate Intentions, right?

Mm-hmm. Turns out they took yoga from Mateo Navarro. OK.

I think he's scamming them.

Based on what? Before he was a yoga instructor, he was getting his Masters in 20th century European art, which of course includes...

The stolen sketch that Tex was hired to find.

Zoe just texted. Her and Tex are on their way over to his apartment.

Hopefully, they find some clues in there.

You certainly look the part. I've done yoga before.

Really?

OK, fine. The Mat's Zoe's. I'll see you after class, and be careful.

Yeah. I'm just gonna poke around Mateo's office.

Child's play. Uh, Angie...

Namaste.

Knees bent as we sweep the arms overhead.

Draw in the belly.

And sink into the hips.

Remember, our hips are the centre of our sexuality.

Oh yeah, you're very tight. Geez, buy a girl a drink first. Better.

Do you feel that? It's vaguely familiar.

Yeah. The hips are opening, lubricating.

The name that comes to mind is...?

I'm gonna say Gavin. I don't really know, it's been a while.

Psoas. Our hip-flexors.

Oh! Haha!

Of course.

♪♪

♪♪

(CLICKING)

(ZOE): You realize that a person's space is a reflection of their mind?

Yeah. We're in trouble then.

Well, first thing on my radar: your phone.

Which I don't keep in my computer.

No. But if you're smart, and I suspect you are, tall, good looking, funny, first born, all scientifically proven signs, then you will have downloaded an online tracker for your phone.

You're a little weird, aren't you?

Angie says the exact same thing.

If someone was one of a kind, my grandmother would say they were a "One."

Angie's a "One." Matt Shade's a lucky man.

Oh, Shade? No, no, no, no. She and Shade are just business partners. So she's single?

Oh, embarrassingly so.

Yet don't tell her I said that.

O.M.G.

What? Your phone, you're never gonna guess where it is.

You mean in this very office where I'm standing right now?

[I've linked your phone to Tex's locator app, so]

I should be able to get you there within a foot or two.

[Alright, go for it.] Ready? Turn left.

Wait. Did you go to your left or my left?

My left. Yeah. OK, turn right.

Alright, I'm standing in front of a big cabinet.

[OK, perfect. Go to the right.]

Alright. Down. Your down.

Zoe, down is down.

Alright.

It's locked. Hold on a sec.

(ANGIE): Oh, Mateo, this is your office?

Oh, crap! (ANGIE): Couldn't find it.

You were a bad influence in there.

I am so sorry. Next time, I will focus on my breathing or these beautiful paintings.

Sadly, they're only prints. Hmm... Well, you know, there's nothing like the real thing.

That's so true. Do you... own a real thing?

Oh, my family has a small collection but they're mostly just sketches.

Oh, I always find the sketches more interesting though.

The raw, sudden expression of an artist, it's... it's breathtaking.

Exactly.

And between you and me, it's much more affordable.

I mean we're talking hundreds of thousands versus millions.

I'm sorry, what was your name again?

Uh, Paloma.

(MATEO): "Paloma." Pleasure.

I heard you have an indoor yoga studio;

I would love to see it. Sure. Anything for you.

By the way, has anyone ever told you you have beautiful form?

No, actually.

Do tell.

Alright, Zoe. All clear.

Did you hear that guy macking on Angie?

Didn't it just make you wanna punch him in the Jimmy?

Zoe, men don't punch other men in the Jimmy!

Forget it. Look, just give me a second.

Um! (CLICKING)

Zoe, please tell me you have Tex's passcode.

Yeah. It's 0411, his mother's birthday.

Isn't that just so sweet? Yeah, the sweetest.

Got you.

Well, I think we were right about Mateo.

He went full Casanova on me.

He's not the only one.

I found Tex's phone, and you'll never guess who's on it.

Candice Green?!

I wonder what that yoga position's called.

[OK, so we think Mateo Navarro is behind the art thefts.]

OK. I'm running his name now.

Walk me through what we know. [OK, uh, ]

Candice and Mark go to Intimate Intentions for relation therapy, yoga, blah blah blah.

Mateo discovers they have an original sketch ripe for the picking. Mateo seduces Candice who secretly keeps going to Intimate Intentions after Mark pulls out, so to speak.

Mateo steals the sketch. [Mark hires me.]

[I catch them in a very compromising position.]

They catch me catch them, and bam.

Mateo chases Tex, sees him get hit, steals his phone.

Now, Candice knows all this, but she can't say anything or she'd have to admit to the affair.

So we just need Mateo to lead us to the artwork.

Except... Except what?

Mateo and Candice are still sleeping together after the sketch is stolen. That's when you took the photograph. So what?

So if a Lothario like that pulls a scam like this, he'd be in the wind faster than you can say

"next wealthy socialite." They're still sleeping together.

That means Candice is in on it.

Wow! You two are good.

Is that Mateo's office?

(MATT): Yeah.

Candice had the same orange key tag in her purse.

But what would they both need a key for?

A storage locker. Number 54.

[OK. There must be]

200 self-storage places in the city.

There's no way I could get a warrant for every single one.

So we need Candice or Mateo to help us narrow that down.

I'm beginning to know that look.

You almost have your memory back.

That's right, so?

So Candice and Mateo don't know that.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Hey. Hi.

Thanks for meeting me. Of course.

How are you? I'm good. I'm working on the memories, but not having much luck yet.

That's good. Well, I mean that you're working on it.

And listen, don't even think twice about the case.

Consider it closed.

Look, the Schiele sketch, it's just a thing.

But we'll pay you in full of course.

Listen...

I think you're in grave danger. What?!

A few foggy memories keep coming back to me, and I keep seeing this man with curly dark hair.

I think he's dangerous.

And the number 54, it keeps coming up.

Does any of this mean anything to you?

No. I'm sorry, but I'll...

I'll keep a look out.

Listen, I'm running late for a meeting. I've gotta go.

You take care of yourself.

(PHONE RINGING)

It worked. Great!

Candice is on the move. We need to stick with Mateo.

Let's hope we were right. You know, I've got a feeling we're gonna have the Greens' sketch in our hand by nightfall.

A feeling? More of an observation. Look.

Lady, start your engine. (ENGINE REVVING UP)

(BEEPING)

♪♪

(MATEO): We have to sell it. Tonight.

We can't. If we sell it before the divorce goes through, Mark gets half the money.

Half of your money, you mean. Oh, it'll all be ours once we're free to be together.

We talked about this.

Why don't I fence it? Put the money in an overseas account? With your name on it?

Oh, what, you don't trust me?

Oh, come on, baby, please. (MATEO CHUCKLING)

♪♪

Let's go.

Oh, hey.

You found your Schiele. You tricked me!

Technically, you tried to trick me first.

Uh, Mateo! Sorry, Candi. Nothing proves I was ever a part of this. This isn't my first rodeo, sweetheart. It's not ours either.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIRENS BLARING)

He seduced me! He stole the sketch!

Never trust a man who tells you everything you want to hear, Candi.

(INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO) Mateo Navarro?

I didn't do anything wrong. Not under that name.

But under several others, you're wanted for international art theft. That's not true.

Come with me, we've got some art to discuss.

♪♪

So that's what all the fuss has been about, huh? Beautiful woman. Isn't it always?

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Stefani!

[Hey, where are you?] Hey. Yeah, I'm getting out of here in a minute. No, there's no need to reschedule.

So, we should go celebrate.

Oh, I, uh... think Shade's busy.

Good. He's not invited.

That's terrible. He's my partner.

Well, maybe I'm not the nice guy you think I am.

Really?

Wanna find out? (ANGIE CHUCKLING)

Yeah, right away. Yeah. [Alright. See you tonight.]

Everything used to be about goals, winning.

Now. it's about winning for other people:

Jules, my dad, clients.

Angie? Yeah.

♪♪ You OK?

Oh yeah, I'm good. Just too much AC.

(CHUCKLING)

(SONG BETTER DAYS BY OLD SEA BRIGADE)

You are so insanely down to earth.

Thank you. I could throw in a scandal or two if you think it'd make a better episode.

OK, I'm intrigued. There was that one time in Albuquerque, but that one goes to the grave.

(BOTH LAUGHING) ♪ 'Til the rhythm it ♪

♪ Breaks ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

Oh...

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I thought... Wow, that was really professional.

No, that's... No, I...

I get it, I get it. But I am gonna go, and I will call you soon.

About the show. ♪ Run me to the ground ♪

♪ Leave a better scene ♪ I don't get it, Dad.

A beautiful woman leans in to kiss me, and...

I didn't reciprocate.

Yeah... real mystery you got there.

What's that supposed to mean?

You can be ridiculous sometimes, you know that?

I can be ridiculous sometimes?

Oh, come on! I'm not an idiot.

I know what I walked in on the other night when I came back from the soup competition.

Didn't walk in on anything. Oh, really?

Really!

Everything with Angie is fine.

Everything with work is fine.

It's better than fine, it's great!

♪♪ Whatever you say, son.

♪ Time stands still for a while ♪

♪ Running empty ♪

♪ Running wild ♪

(MEN LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

♪ I've seen better days before ♪ Thank you. Welcome.

What are we drinking to?

To the life we choose.

To a life we choose.

♪♪ Mmm!

Hey, the other thing in my list, "Brown Eyed Girl," I remembered what it meant.

Ooh, something case related? No, it was just my favourite song. Oh! Hahaha!

I remember hearing it for the first time, and I couldn't get it out of my head.

The first time I saw you, I felt exactly the same way.

♪ Run me to the ground ♪ - Oh.

♪ Leave a better scene than ♪ Wanna get out of here?

Yeah. ♪ The one you found ♪

♪ I've seen better days, you know ♪

♪ Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow ♪

♪ Run me to the ground ♪

♪ Leave a better scene than what you found ♪
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