02x08 - The Day Reagan Was sh*t

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Timeless...

Your family is lovely.

My worst fear is that I could lose them and not know they were ever here.

Do me a favor, keep this in the Lifeboat for me.

When you gave me that book, you wanted me to read it, and I did.

Sometimes I feel like I know you better than you know yourself.

Lucy, I still care about you.

Getting a second chance with Jessica?

That is the closest thing to a miracle that I've ever seen and there's no way that I'm getting in the middle of that.

Let's see what Rittenhouse has been hiding.

-That's Jessica. -This stays between us.

Dear Jodie... there's a definite possibility that I will be k*lled in my attempt to get Reagan.

It is for this very reason that I'm writing you this letter now.

I would abandon this idea of getting Reagan in a second if could only win your heart and live out the rest of my life with you, whether be in total obscurity or whatever.

I will admit to you that the reason I'm going ahead with this attempt now is because I just cannot wait any longer to impress you.

I've got to do something now to make you understand in no uncertain terms that I am doing all of this for your sake.

By sacrificing my freedom possibly my life, I hope to change your mind about me.

This letter is being written an hour before I leave for the Hilton Hotel.

Jodie, I'm asking you to please look into your heart and at least give me the chance with this historical deed to gain your respect and love.

I love you forever.

Hey, that was educational.

So is school and you're gonna be late. Eat your breakfast, please, sweetie.

I thought we were gonna buy the organic kind.

Sugar's sugar.

Your mother.

No.

So, why didn't you answer?

‘Cause our Grandma Ananya doesn't know we exist.

Why not? I'll explain it to you another time.

I got to get to work.

Are you going to the office or to the place that's kind of far away?

I'll get back as soon as I can, baby girl.

Mark, I've got a meeting across town at 4:00, so I need you to pick up your sister.

I was gonna hang with Max.

You can order a pizza.

Save me a slice, stinkler.

Hey, I didn't even hear you wake up.

Yeah, I got up early, the navigation interface was running slowly thought I'd reboot the drive.

-You need some help? Actually I'm done.

Just gonna get some tea.

I'll make you a cup.

It's all good. I got it. Thanks.

I know what you're doing.

What am I doing?

You're pushing me away.

No, I'm not.

My dad did the same thing when he thought he was gonna die.

Thought it would make it easier.

It doesn't, you know, it just makes you look like a douchebag.

Okay, enough.

You've been brooding like a Real Housewife all week.

No, I have...

You watch The Real Housewives?

Yes, Rufus, many people watch truly awful for them yet delicious television.

My point is quit sulking, tell us what's going on.

I don't sulk.

You sulk.

Been sulkin® up the joint all week.

I'm going to die.

What?

On one of our next trips. Jiya saw it in a vision of hers.

Hold on. Time out.

What vision?

Jiya has been seeing visions of the future ever since she got out of the Lifeboat.

What?

Look, don't worry about it. Okay?

What exactly did she see?

Some guys, dirty yellow teeth, grubby clothes, tattoos all of them had knives, spurs on their boots.

You know what? Doesn't matter. ‘Cause we're not gonna let that happen.

Yeah, and think of all the times that we could have d*ed.

-Right. -Al Capone.

n*zi Germany.

~The Alamo. ~The Alamo.

I appreciate the sentiment, but Jiya has been right before.

Needless to say, I'm going through some things.

Either way, we just need to plan for the future.

The Mothership jumped to March 30th, 1981. Washington, DC.

That's the day that Reagan was sh*t.

Reagan survived.

Maybe Rittenhouse wants to change it.

Where's Agent Christopher? She's probably on her way.

I've tried her cell several times. She must be in a dead zone.

Guess we go.

You coming?

Much as I enjoy our trips together, I think I'll stay.

I was in first grade in 1981.

Yeah, I also missed it by a month or two.

Yes, all right, those of us with life experience will probably have to sit this one out.

I'll go.

I'm sorry. Do you really think that's a good idea?

That's why we so brilliantly put in the fourth seat.

You've already had, should we say, issues with time travel.

Connor, she's right.

Jiya should come with us.

She needs the experience, plus you guys are gonna need another pilot when I'm gone.

I love the "80s.

On our way home we have to stop at a roller rink.

For your first time, you did a nice job of stealing clothes.

I never met a security tag I couldn't deactivate.

Yeah?

What else did you take?

Vintage Ray-Bans, a pair of leg warmers and this amazing blue eye shadow.

Guys, focus.

Reagan's finishing a luncheon address at the Hilton.

It's supposed to happen on his way out at 2:27 p.m.

sh**t was some nut job obsessed with Jodie Foster, right?

John Hinckley, the son of a well-connected Texas oil family, but a nut job, nonetheless.

He was going to stalk Jodie Foster at Yale when he heard that Reagan was speaking, and thought k*lling him would impress her.

As you do. Nobody d*ed?

Press Secretary James Brady was paralyzed until he ultimately d*ed in 2014 from his injuries.

Brady Bill's named after him. But no, nobody's supposed to die.

Not today.

My guess is Rittenhouse wants to change that somehow.

Where have you been?

I do have a home and a family I like to see on occasion.

-Where'd they go? -'81 DC.

What?

Yeah, off to save Reagan.

No, that's not it.

That's not the reason they're there.

There's Hinckley.

So, we just let it happen?

It's not Hinckley I'm worried about.

There's a sleeper around here somewhere.

It's time.

Stay behind the line. Step back.

Get down!

We need an ambulance over here.

Ma'am, are you all right?

Just a graze.

Thanks to you.

Just doing my job, Officer Christopher.

Denise Christopher?

Yeah.

Wyatt Logan, US Army Special Forces.

Thank you, sir.

I owe you one.

Guys.

Guys, Hinckley got away, that's not supposed to happen.

He's supposed to be caught.

Wait, Rittenhouse came here to save Hinckley?

What, they hate Jodie Foster or something?

Well, not quite. They're here to k*ll Agent Christopher before she becomes Agent Christopher.

That's her in 1981?

I saw a sleeper.

He's a Secret Service agent.

He's going out there looking to finish the job.

Finish the job? Without Agent Christopher...

We never would have met.

We've got to get to that hospital.

Wait, Carol Preston could have k*lled you three weeks ago.

Why get fancy and go to ‘81 to do it?

Because it is much bigger than that.

Look, at any given moment she could disappear, which would mean the very reality we're inhabiting would also disappear.

She's that important?

She created the team.

She recruited Wyatt.

When she learned that her superiors were working with Rittenhouse, she took us off the grid.

She put over 200 of their rank behind bars.

So, without her...

Rittenhouse would almost certainly have control of the Lifeboat by now.

Which is what they want.

Well, on the plus side, I wouldn't have been arrested.

I mean, plus for me anyway.

Popcorn anyone?

What about your children?

I trust the team. You should do the same.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have got some work to do.

Sleeper's gotta be around here somewhere.

Well, if he's Secret Service, he's definitely with Reagan.

Well, you saw him, what's he look like?

Coat and tie, Magnum, P.I. 'stache.

Great, mustache in a haystack.

We still have to do something about Hinckley.

Can't exactly make a citizen's arrest based on the fact that we're time travelers.

But Agent Christopher's a cop, right?

Wait. I think that's him.

Lucy, go with Christopher.

As soon as she's patched up, tell her about Hinckley, she'll know what to do.

-Okay. -I'll stay with you.

Are you sure? Look, I'm not gonna die today, but Agent Christopher might if we don't find that sleeper, so let's get a move on.

Okay. Bye.

Come on.

I'm Cagney and this is Lacey.

We are private investigators.

I'm Denise.

It's just...

Really great to meet you.

Okay.

Wait, who are you working for exactly?

We're not at liberty to say.

But it is about the man who sh*t the President.

They said the President wasn't hurt.

He's gonna be okay.

I mean, that's what the doctors were saying.

Have they caught the sh**t?

No. But that's why we need your help.

Thank God you're all right.

I'm fine, Maan. Who told you?

Sachin Kumar saw you on the news, he told Priya Kapoor who works in the hospital with Meera, and Meera called me.

Well, who needs a phone when every Indian in DC knows each other.

I almost didn't find you.

I had to ask for Denise Christopher.

You told me that name was only for the police.

It was just easier.

I could have bled out before the spell Dhriti Sirivastava.

You didn't want me to know?

I didn't want you to worry.

When you took this job, you promised me you wouldn't get hurt.

I barely got grazed.

It's been less than six months what if next time is worse?

Here's the part where she tells me that I have to be a doctor like my sister.

Doctors don't get sh*t.

There's nothing wrong with a career in law enforcement.

Great benefits.

And who are you?

Cagney and Lacey are investigators.

Beti, fix your hair. The Devatis are here.

“What? Yeah.

Why did you call them?

They were worried. We all were.

Tell them I'm fine.

I'll be out of here any minute.

It's time for you to stop risking your life for this job and settle down and get married, Dhriti.

Hello.

We'll just be outside.

-Excuse us. -What happened?

We were all worried about you.

That's him.

Excuse me. I'm looking for a Denise Christopher.

-On two. -Thank you.

Going up?

Is the President okay? I heard the news.

They're doing everything they can, Ma'am.

Well, I voted for Carter.

Please don't k*ll me.

Give me one good reason why not.

Because I'll tell you everything.

Everything!

What do you think is going on? L don't know.

Cagney & Lacey premieres later this year by the way.

I like to live on the edge.

How long have you been here?

Since Emma dropped me off in 1969.

Twelve years.

Must've be lonely just you and that mustache.

When were you activated?

This morning.

Who are the other targets Rittenhouse is after?

The time periods.

I only know about my mission.

What did they offer you?

Why'd you give up your smartphone and your Tinder matches for all this?

I didn't have a choice.

Dhriti agreed.

We're getting married!

Beta, congratulation.

What?

No. No. Come here. Everyone will come over tonight to celebrate! Congrats.

This is all wrong. She's gay. She has a wife, Michelle, and two kids.

I have met them.

Okay, wait, wait. This guy existed before we got here.

So, she must have changed her mind first time around, right?

She told me that her mother tried to arrange a few marriages for her, but she made up excuses, dodged them all until she went to Quantico.

So, when did she come out to her mom?

She still hasn't. They only talk a couple times a year.

Okay, then she'll change her mind, right? So, she'll call it off.

Not necessarily.

I mean, the first time around she didn't have a brush with death, she wasn't sh*t in the arm, she wasn't in this hospital.

What if he makes her give up police work?

She doesn't end up in the FBI, she doesn't join Homeland Security, Rittenhouse wins, we're toast.

Agent Chris...

I'm sorry, Denise.

So, sorry to interrupt, but can we please just talk to you for one minute?

It won't take long.

I'll meet you downstairs.

Thank you.

Look, if this is about the sh**ting, you probably should call the hotline.

They probably won't believe us.

Why not?

We believe that a disturbed young man named John Hinckley sh*t the President.

He's obsessed with Jodie Foster so he imitated the plot in the movie Taxi Driver to impress her.

You're right, they won't believe you.

He's staying in room 312 at the Park Central Hotel.

We can prove it. How do you know all this?

-Because... -Jodie Foster hired us.

Yes. Yes, she did.

Hinckley made these threats. We tracked him here.

But we were too late to stop him.

You need to come with us.

My mother, the family they're waiting.

Apparently, she's throwing a party tonight.

Denise.

You have an opportunity to catch the man who sh*t the President.

I know you can't walk away from that.

Yeah, hi. I'm Officer Denise Christopher.

Can I ask you some questions?

Hey, crazy idea, we could, you know, just tell her the truth.

Like who we are and why she can't get married.

Why she has to join the feds.

Okay, I know, but look if anyone would believe us, she would.

Plus there's the whole, "Fate of the world depends on it," thing.

For all we know, it could make things worse, not better.

Besides, we can't let her live the next 30 years of her life under that kind of pressure.

The manager's on break.

Okay, we'll wait.

I radioed my lieutenant. He says this sounds bogus.

We promise it's totally not bogus.

So, you're engaged.

-Exciting. -It is.

You're so young. How do you know that Sunil is the one?

We've known his family for a long time.

But do you love him?

In our culture, marriage comes first.

You find love along the way.

But what if you don't?

No offense, but we've been doing it this way for, like, thousands of years.

Divorce rate's what, 50% here?

How's your way working out?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that I'm just wondering what if it wasn't right for you?

What do you mean?

I mean, like what if Sunil isn't your type.

You know, I mean like some women don't like men who are shorter than they are.

Some women don't like man buns.

What's a man bun?

Some women don't like men at all.

It's okay, there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

No, I know that.

I mean, you're gorgeous and I'm flattered, but I'm not interested.

No.

Wasn't hitting on you.

Because... I... Cagney...

Here... We're...

-We're together. Yup.

Yeah, and just...

-Together. Yup.

So... And we were just kinda getting a vibe.

Yeah, you totally set off our gay-dar.

-Gay-dar? -Were we wrong?

Experimented back in college, okay? But I'm an adult now.

I don't think that it's, you know, something that really goes away.

I totally respect the two of you, but that's not an option for me.

I know what it's like.

Look, my parents, they had all these expectations for me when they moved here.

All the other kids were out partying and drinking, and I was studying.

And my dad d*ed and my mom, she moved back to Lebanon.

And I finally had to start making my own choices.

I just wish I had started making those choices sooner.

We both have demanding mothers.

But we didn't let them dictate our future or our happiness.

My cousin married a white guy.

It's been 10 years and her parents still don't talk to her.

Sunil's nice. He likes me.

But you'll never like him the same way.

It doesn't seem fair to him.

It's already been decided. We're celebrating tonight.

My mother drives me crazy, but she sure can cook.

There's the manager. Let's go.

Wait outside, please.

Don't touch anything.

You weren't kidding about this guy.

Hey, look at this.

This is written confession.

Hashtag MeToo for Jodie.

What?

Nothing.

So, where do you think he is now?

Jodie is a student at Yale, in New Haven.

It's possible that's where he went next.

He would've checked out first.

Is that blood?

That's not supposed to happen.

Do you think he k*lled himself?

And where's the body?

Are you sure he didn't cut himself shaving?

Guys like this, it's not about getting away with it.

It's about notoriety.

He'd want to know what he did mattered.

He'd want to know if he was successful.

He wants to know if Reagan survived.

And if he did?

There's only one way into the emergency room that's secured by Secret Service.

Create an emergency.

Just be more careful next time.

Suspect is Caucasian male, 25 years old. Possibly wounded with a straight razor.

My father, he was caught embezzling money.

And my family lost everything.

And my dad k*lled himself.

Cry me a river, Madoff.

Rittenhouse bailed us out.

My mom, my brother Zac, and me.

Zac bought into all their ideology, but I had my doubts.

Carol Preston, she promised she would take care of us.

She just wanted something in return.

Time travel.

Sounded like an incredible adventure.

Going through time k*lling people?

That sounded like an adventure?

They didn't tell me about that. Not until this morning.

That how it normally works?

I don't know.

Why'd they bring my wife back?

I don't know anything about that.

Please. I don't. I don't.

I only know about my mission. That's it. I swear.

Please. I got a wife and two kids in 2018.

If I don't do what Rittenhouse says, they're gonna k*ll them.

Please, do whatever you want to me.

I just want them to be safe.

I'm going to tell the lieutenant everything you did.

You don't have to do that.

We... We wouldn't want to jeopardize our clients.

We work undercover a lot.

Usually as prostitutes.

Sure.

So, you think you'll keep being a cop?

After you're married?

Sunil's family is pretty traditional.

Sunil's completing his residency, so they'll be expecting me to stay at home.

But you're so good.

And you love this.

You wanna know why I became a cop?

When I was four, my father bought a Cadillac.

He was so proud.

He'd tell us all how he came from India with only $10 to his name, how it was his American dream.

He stopped for gas.

There was a man with a g*n.

He tried to stop him.

Not because of the car, but because I was in the back seat.

He sh*t my father.

An off-duty cop saw what happened and arrested him.

You father, did he... He was k*lled instantly.

My God.

I never knew that.

I mean, I'm so sorry.

I was crying.

They sent someone to watch me.

I'd never seen a female cop before.

Officer Christopher.

I asked her why a girl would wanna be a cop.

She said she wanted to stop the bad guys.

I promised myself that was what I was gonna do.

Well, so, then why would you wanna give it up?

Because I also promised my mother she'd never lose me the way she lost him.

Christopher, can I see you for a minute?

Yes, of course.

Jiya, we have to stop this marriage. Okay.

What can we do?

I have an idea.

But we have to get something from the Lifeboat, come on.

What exactly are you doing?

Paperwork.

No, I mean. What are you doing?

Aren't you the least bit concerned that you're gonna be snuffed out of existence?

I trust the team.

What about your family?

If I die in "81, Michelle and I will never meet.

The children, they wouldn't exist.

And yet, here you sit doing paperwork.

What would you have me do?

Try to save myself or get my affairs in order?

How exactly does one prepare for one's absence from the past 37 years?

I have wracked my brain trying to come up with a solution.

But there is...

There is nothing I can do.

No, no. You're wrong.

One night, three years ago, I was putting my daughter to bed.

She wanted to stay up later. Said, "Ten more minutes, Daddy.

"Three more minutes.” As any good parent, I told her to go to sleep.

I told her I'd see her in the morning.

The next time I saw her, she was dead.

Since that night, I've done nothing but try to change that.

And I failed.

I'm sorry about that.

-I really am. -Save your pity.

Do you know what I would give to have had those three more minutes with her one more minute, one more second?

So you can sit there doing paperwork and fretting about time travel rules or you can get the hell back home and look at your wife and children while you still can.

I mean, it's your choice.

I sure as hell know what I would do.

So, we're gonna just k*ll him?

Well, we can't leave him here, Rufus.

Wyatt.

Look, we've never caught a sleeper before.

What if we take him with us?

Like a POW, we make two trips.

Just k*ll me.

I can't go back there. I'd be better off dead.

-Sounds good. -No.

We don't just k*ll people.

We are different from Rittenhouse.

Then leave me in "81.

What so you can just go after Christopher the moment we leave?

I promise I won't! Why the hell should we trust you?

I'll tell you about my brother.

He came here to activate me.

I stole Christopher's file from the hospital with her address and I gave it to him.

Zac's probably on his way to take out Officer Christopher right now.

You could've told us that before! I'm telling you now.

Why would you sell out your own brother?

Rittenhouse brainwashed him.

If he lives, he'll tell them and my family will pay the price.

You can stop him.

I'll give you the address if you just let me go.

If we get there in time to save our friend, then we'll worry about what to do with you.

I'll get it.

Okay, still not hitting on you, but you look amazing.

Thanks.

How did you find me?

Whitepages.

Go figure, your mom is the only Ananya Sirivastava in DC.

Is there somewhere private we can talk?

Time travel?

You're joking.

It sounds impossible, we know.

No, it sounds insane.

-You both should leave. Now! -No. No.

Denise, we can show, we have proof. Just give us one minute.

Please, okay?

Ever see a computer like this before?

-No. -That's because it's from 2018.

And it's how we knew about Hinckley.

But that's impossible.

Time travel doesn't exist except in movies.

Not now. But it will.

It does.

Then why didn't you tell me this before?

Because we were... We were trying to protect you.

Every day we make decisions.

Get married or don't get married.

Take this job or that job. Go left or right.

And at that time they seem like they don't matter, but they do.

Especially in your case.

Why "in my case"?

You get recruited by the FBI.

You work for Homeland Security.

What's Homeland Security?

It's... In...

It's too hard to explain right now.

But the point is you are at the top of your field, you save so many lives.

Including ours.

You have a family.

But it is not with Sunil.

That's Michelle.

Your wife.

Mark and Olivia are your children.

No.

That's... That can't be.

That's you.

That's your family.

Two women can get married?

In 2015. Sooner in California.

California.

That's where you all live.

Why are you doing this?

Because you asked me to.

In 2017, you invite me over to your house for dinner.

And you introduce me to your family.

And you give me this.

It's kind of like a floppy disk.

And you made me promise to show you this in case something happened.

What do you mean if something happens?

In case they disappeared from history.

Which they will if you marry Sunil.

Denise, you have to call off this engagement.

You have to tell your mother the truth about who you are.

Before anyone gets hurt.

How do you think the talk is going?

You know. We could've told her everything.

About Rittenhouse.

We have no idea what kind of butterfly effect that would create.

Knowing the future is a huge responsibility.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'm sorry.

This gift that I have, what's it for?

So I can start grieving in advance?

Maybe Rufus is right.

Maybe I'm supposed to walk away from him.

Jiya.

Did you ever think that maybe you're seeing these things so that you can save Rufus?

Just like we're trying to save her.

I used to think that history was set in stone.

Unchangeable.

And then my sister disappeared and I just...

I just see how fragile it all is.

If we can change the past, there has to be a way that we can change the future.

No, no, no.

We were gonna let you go.

He must've thought Rittenhouse would find him no matter what.

In a way

I guess he was a victim, too.

What do I do now?

Take that job with the FBI.

The rest will fall into place.

What if I make the wrong decisions?

You won't.

I promise.

Here. Take this.

You won't be able to use it for another 20 years, but it will help you remember why you're doing all this.

Come here.

-Thank you. -It's gonna be okay.

I've waited 37 years to say thank you to you.

No thanks necessary, ma'am.

You saved my life twice.

Guess that's why I always knew you were the right man for this job.

"Cagney and Lacey."

You saved my family. I've never forgotten that.

I'm so sorry to put that kind of pressure on you.

I can't imagine the stress.

Maybe you should hold on to this for now.

I can't tell you what it was like the first time I saw a computer that could use one of those.

All right. Well, now that everyone's back safely, I'll be taking off early.

It's family night and my mother's got a chicken biryani and a shrimp curry waiting for me.

I'll bring you leftovers.

Wait, your mother?

Yeah, it wasn't an easy road, but she came around eventually.

Must be nice having her in your life.

We still have our moments.

You know what a pain in the ass she is, but she sure can cook.

And she loves my kids.

I can't imagine our lives without her.

There were definitely some rough patches, but knowing what was waiting for me...

It gave me hope.

You tried to save him.

There was nothing else you could've done.

He tried to k*ll Agent Christopher.

Because they threatened his family.

Believe me, I've been there.

That could have been me.

It could still be me.

What are you talking about?

If your visions end up true then I could end up just like that sleeper.

Alone.

Dead in the past.

Some unidentified body, an 18th century John Doe.

You're not alone, Rufus.

Okay? You have the team. You...

You have me.

I don't know how much time I have or how I'm gonna end up, but whatever time I have left I wanna spend it with you.

From now on, it is me and you.

All in, whatever you want.

Even if it is a Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon.

As long as every second I have left is spent with you.

What if I'm not okay with that?

This is a weird time to break up with me.

No, I mean...

I mean, we have to try to stop it.

-But your visions... -I don't care if they come true.

We're problem solvers, Rufus.

We don't just give up. We find a way. We make more time.

Okay, ‘cause the only visions that I wanna see are of you and me growing old together, bickering over what TV series we're gonna binge next.

And...

I'm so in love with you.

When you gave me the journal, you said you got it from me.

Please do come in.

I wanna know what you meant by that.

-Sure you wanna know? Yes.

I do.

It was two weeks after my family was k*lled.

I was alone, in hiding.

The only thing keeping me from k*lling myself was the idea of stopping these beasts who had done this thing.

At that point, I had no plans.

I ran as far as I could.

I ended up in a bar in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

I was on my third drink when you walked in.

You looked maybe five years older than you look now.

But no less.

You looked good. You told me your name.

You knew everything.

How my family d*ed.

That Rittenhouse was behind all of this.

You told me there's a way for me to stop them and that to do it, I was going to need your help.

And that's when you handed me the journal.

So, Lucy, you started all of it.

No. That isn't possible. We can't travel into our own timelines.

Maybe not now, but maybe one day Rufus and Jiya will figure it out.

Wait, what are you saying in the future...

I'm saying you came up to me in the bar, you handed me this journal and then you just left.

But that doesn't make any sense.

Lucy, that's all I know.

The rest, I suppose, you'll have to wait and see what happens.

We both will.

Hey, what are you looking at?

Just my family.

What I'm missing down here.

I don't know how long they're gonna buy that I'm pouring pints on an Alaskan cruise ship.

I'm sorry you have to lie.

Who's that?

Kevin.

Kevin who?

Kevin, my brother.

Who you sh**t pool with all the time.

“What? -Not in my timeline.

What do you mean?

In my timeline I never met him.

He was...

Very sick as a kid.

He had leukemia.

Jessica, he d*ed before he was three.

No, he didn't, Wyatt.

How'd he get better?

I don't really remember.

Some kind of cutting-edge treatment, or stem cells or something.

I don't know.

And how'd your family get the money?

Can we please not talk about this?

Jess.

Is there something you're not telling me?

Yeah, there is.

I'm pregnant.