03x04 - Confront

[bunniefuu]

- Am I in trouble?
- Yes.

Every now and then,
you got to break the rules.

You see something you want,
and you take it.

Oh, my God, he's talking to you.

Oh, my God!

Stop! I just told you to kiss the guy.

You gave the Suitress to Madison?

You wanted no part of
the "toxic sludge."

And I didn't want to get in the
way of your "Essential Honesty."

If you want to get to know me
and ask me out on a real date,

maybe I'll say yes.

- I love it.
- Who is this guy?

His name's Xavier. He's a friend.

He's lucky guy.

Imagine a show
about underground dance scenes

all over the world.
And Alexi's gonna host it.

All right, let's make it happen.

There is one person with whom
I've made a real connection...

August.

CHET: See? Her?

Just cut her out.

That's amazing.

Listen, I got some footage.

I think there's a real
zeitgeisty story here.

Two people d*ed last season.

That's on me.

Coming to me was a very important step.

I want to help you figure out
where this...

this darkness comes from.

I need it tighter up here
as well, not just down there.

Hey, Quinn...

[CHUCKLING] Oh, damn! A custom suit?

Don't you think we ought to
actually sell our pitch first?

Oh, Jay, I think you left
your balls in the hall.

That's really cute.
And it's possibly illegal.

Hey, go take a look at that.

Berto, why are your hands not moving?

You're here to work.

- Oh, my God.
- [SIGHS]

Quinn, where did you get
this sh*t of Alexi?

Oh, I got it from his PR people.

Makes you want to
lick the poster, right?

I mean, yeah, Alexi's great,

but Sissy Bounce came from Xavier.

I wouldn't even know what it is
without him.

Who the hell's Xavier?

He's my boyfriend.

I... I-I mean, I always just imagined

he'd be a big part of the show.

Yeah, that's a sticky one.

I mean, for you.

I mean, come on,
without Alexi's star power,

all we have is your niche

dance-around-the-world snooze-fest.

You know, we'd have a better
chance of selling

"Passport to a**l Bleaching."

- [LAUGHS]
- Hey, hey, hey.

Do not laugh when you have

sharp pins around my vag*na, all right?

Here, hold this.

Look, I need you to
get the footage today

of Alexi being sexy and romantic
with Serena

so we can drop it into
a sizzle reel for Gary,

which will make our pitch undeniable.

- Okay. I got it.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]

We have a problem.

- Well, August has a problem.
- What is that?

His man-bun. Someone cut it off
while he was sleeping.

[LAUGHS]

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

That is not a problem.

That is television gold.

I have to go.

DR. SIMON: Rachel.

I went looking for you this morning.

Do you actually live in that truck?

Boundaries. You ever heard of them?

I'm just concerned, okay?

You opened up a lot last night.

That can be destabilizing.

Okay, uh, well,

- maybe I said too much.
- No, you didn't.

And this is why I think we
should keep working together...

so that we can get to
the core of the issue.

No, no, no. I-I-I... that's not what...

I don't to keep
thinking about this, okay?

I don't want to stir things up.

I don't need that noise in my head.

I just need to focus on my work.

I mean, I found Serena.
I brought her here.

I'm the one that saved her
from this princess sh*t.

So I've got to keep my head
together for Quinn.

I just need you to think about it.

Look, I am actually
doing a good job here.

I just want to keep doing it.

MAN: Rachel, you're needed on set.

Really?

Yes, really.
This is what I've always done.

This is how I feel in control.

Huh, 'cause I thought you said
you were feeling

out of control, dishonest,

and a little fearful
of where it might lead.

Can you please stop?

AUGUST: What's wrong with these idiots?

- I have to go.
- No, it's an absolute joke, mate.

No, of course you won't stand up
and admit it, will you?

Wow.

Big and brave in the middle of the night

but total chicken sh*t
when I'm standing right here...

- [LAUGHTER]
- ...wide awake.

Simmer down, Samson.

QUINN: One camera on August

and another camera on his m*nled head.

So, you guys are
seriously okay with this?

- Yeah. Seriously.
- Where's Serena?

She's in hair and make-up.

I thought she should
have her rollers out.

Oh, my God. Your story instincts
are ass backwards.

Dan, fly in Serena now. Please.

- Okay.
- You know, I think you're mixing me up

with someone who doesn't have a
produced pilot at this network.

Oh, really? What's it called?

"Keeping Up With Gary's Sidepiece?"

I am not his sidepiece.

- He has taken me on vacation.
- Okay, let me guess.

Oh, a lot of private weekends,
dinner alone by the fire.

Madison, have you ever been
out in public with the man?

SERENA: What's going on?

Which one of you did this?

Huh?

I know the plan today was for me to

hear these guys pitch their dream dates,

but I don't give a damn what they want.

Hey, this frat-boy crap
is a huge turn-off.

I only want a date with August.

- I'm really sorry.
- Yeah.

Well, that's not gonna work.

I can go try to flip her.

No, I can handle it. Who do you
want the date to be with?

- Alexi.
- Done.

Okay. Someone had their coffee
this morning.

Maybe you should try
putting some of that

down your throat, Madison.

Oh, Robin, I'd like you to meet
um, Quinn King.

She's my, uh, showrunner.

This is Robin Carr.

She's from The National Page.

She's gonna be writing a story about

some of the important issues
we're gonna be tackling

this season on "Everlasting."

Oh, well, it's nice to meet you.

I'm just curious to know
why you didn't air

the interview footage Chet
showed me from last episode.

It's so zeitgeisty.

That is an excellent
and... nuanced question.

Um, could you just give us
three seconds?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

If you're trying to get me to
pick someone else for the date,

it's a waste of time.

Listen, I totally get it.

I'm just afraid that

you're making it a little
too easy for him.

[LAUGHING] Oh, my God.

First I'm strident, unappealing,
and now I'm too easy.

You said it yourself.
With these kind of guys,

you've got to play
catch and release, right?

You got to pull back to draw them in.

So I'm supposed to play a game? Again?

This whole thing is a game.

You know that better than anyone.

Having a reporter on the set

is like DEFCON-level dangerous.

Hey. We need the publicity
for my Emmy campaign.

Plus, it's good for the sho...
You should be thanking me.

Okay, what you know about publicity

I could fit in a nipple cup.

Is that a thing?

Listen, your, uh,
pal from The National Page

is a real-ass reporter.

And real-ass reporters have one goal

and that is to dig sh*t up.

She's here for me, Quinn, okay?
Let me handle it.

So, let's just think about this, right?

Like, who would make August
the most jealous?

It would have to be
somebody sophisticated.

SERENA: Like Guy?

I don't know. All he wants
to do is talk about food.

I mean, you want someone

soulful, well-traveled.

Like Alexi?

He could work.

Okay.

But if I go on the date with Alexi,

I still want time with August later.

All right, fine. How's this...

you pick Alexi, and I will have
August waiting in your room

for some alone time, off camera.

Atta girl.

There you go.

♪♪

QUINN: So?

- On board.
- Excellent.

MADISON: No, that is what we always do.

I want you to take me
somewhere in public.

I heard Chez Panisse has
a new tasting menu.

Fine, I'll make a reservation.

Oh, um, I have good news
about your pilot.

Oh, my God, really? What is it?

I'll, uh, tell you tonight.

- Okay.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]

Quinn.

Now what? Yes?

Listen, I'm concerned about Rachel.

Oh, seriously?

I actually think she's doing great,

so thanks for swinging by.

She's not great.

We had a real powerful session
last night,

and she told me some things that...

Oh, what did she tell you?

- That's confidential.
- It better be.

I'm just happy she's finally talking,

'cause from what I can tell,

she hasn't had a lot of people
to confide in,

which is why our work is so vital.

Okay [SCOFFS] sorry. Your "work"?

Why don't you slow your roll, dude.

All right?

That was not part of our deal.

You are a safety net, okay?

You are a walking Xanax dispenser.

You are not here to deep-dive
into Rachel's psyche.

I'm here to help my patient.

Or don't you want that?

Oh, what, now I'm getting shrinked?

Oh, do you want to talk about
my mean mommy?

Love to.

[SCOFFS]

The things that have happened here...

I don't know how you're handling it,

but I can tell you right now,
there is no way Rachel

could just stuff it all down
and ignore it.

She's on a collision course,
Quinn, that I am trying to stop.

So either help me or get ready.

Because sooner or later,

she's gonna blow.

♪♪

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

♪♪

Hey, babe.

No, I know. I'm sorry.

I... I've just been really busy. Uh...

No. Actually, Quinn's, like,

really excited to take the pitch
to the network.

No, Xave, stop. It's j...

Obviously she thinks you're incredible.

She wants you to be
a big part of the show.

♪♪

Yeah, I love you, too.

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

♪♪

Hey, Alexi...

So, um, I-I just, uh,
wanted to let you know,

I wrote up a couple things
for you to say

when you pitch Serena
your dream date today.

Uh, which is, uh...

Wait a minute.

So you making me learn lines
like puppet?

Oh, dude, it's like three lines.

[LAUGHS]

This is just great...
career hitting rock bottom.

Yeah, well, um, I...

There's something else I need to
talk to you about, actually.

We kissed.

So what?

Get over me.

♪♪

♪ I can feel it ♪

You and I will gallop along
the beach at Point Reyes,

maybe take our horses out into the surf

if you don't mind getting
just a little bit...

- wet.
- [LAUGHS]

We'll go for a ride. You drive.

You, me, and an afternoon
in the park with my boy Lou.

You and I will spend the day
sailing with the dolphins

and sipping on the finest champagne.

♪♪

I'll show you real magic.

Quality time with no distractions.

Just you and me and... beautiful stars.

♪♪

You have heard all eight dreamy dates,

Serena, some truly dreamy.

Somebody hose Graham down.

But only one can become
a dream come true.

Thank you for putting so much...

creativity into your pitches.

Uh, but there really is only one
dream date for me.

♪♪

Alexi.

♪♪

- Yes!
- Whoa.

Thank you, thank you.
All right, and that is a cut.

Rachel, nice job.

You are k*lling it.

- Hey.
- What's... What's going on?

Serena said she only wanted
a date with me.

RACHEL: What do you care?

You're lucky you're still here.

♪♪

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

How you doing?

'Cause you kind of seem like
you're on fire.

I know, right?

Yeah, no. I'm good. I'm really good.

Okay, good.

Because I know
I said some words yesterday.

Yes, I know.

And, um,

I've taken those words to heart.

I don't want to be the curse anymore.

No, I never said
you were the curse. I...

It doesn't even matter, Quinn. I just...

Look, I just want you to know

that I am, like, fully committed.

My mind is clear.
I just... I don't know.

[CHET SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I just really want to
give you everything

that you need to make an amazing show.

Okay, you know what? Tell you what.

Uh, if you want to give me what I need,

then I'd like you to
go on the date with Alexi.

Get him to sizzle.

And get his sizzle all over Serena.

[CHUCKLES]

♪♪

Adrienne Idalis doesn't do
private performances. Ever.

She's doing it for you,

so you should be
really excited about it.

Dragging lonely businesswoman
to ballet. Big whoop.

You know, I thought you and me,
we had a connection.

So, why are you making me do this?

I think this could be a really
great opportunity for you...

and Natalia.

You know about Natalia?

The woman who broke your heart?

The reason you went on
a public coke binge

which led to your dismissal
from the Royal Ballet?

- That Natalia?
- We haven't been in touch, okay?

Okay, well, she's been tweeting
up a storm about the show,

so she's watching you.

Natalia's tweeting me? That's good.

Don't shine for
"the lonely businesswoman."

[DOOR CLOSES]

Shine for Natalia.

It'll destroy her.

Seriously?

You're producing my guy again.

Dude...

You should be happy.

Come on. Alexi's into the date now.

I was gonna use Natalia
when I needed it.

It is not up to you to decide
when I play my ace, Rachel.

Why do you even care?

Okay, you know that this is
what we need him for.

You have no idea
about what it is that I need.

JAY: You're a piece of work, Rachel.
Just stay out of my business.

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

♪♪

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Are you coming or what?!

QUINN: That reporter is real trouble.

I can already feel her
climbing into my assh*le.

MADISON: She's actually
a pretty good writer.

I've read some of her articles.

You know, I know girls just like her.

Looking for a big story

so she can make a real name for herself.

Ohh.

[CHUCKLES]

We should give it to her.

Today's your lucky day, Mini-Me.

[CHUCKLES]

Rachel and Jay are off campus,
so you're up.

Get ready.

We're gonna blow up this man-bun thing.

We're gonna go full Bun-ghazi.

[LAUGHS]

N-Normally, I would be
really excited about this,

but I actually have to
leave early tonight.

I have a dinner with Gary
at Chez Panisse.

Huh.

So that wasn't just a one-time thing.

Do I look not shocked?

'Cause that's what I'm going for.

It's just for work. It's about my pilot.

Yeah, I bet it is.

Look, you are always saying that
you want to be just like me,

but all you've done
is sucked off my fiancé

and spread your legs for my boss.

So, if you want to earn
real power and respect,

you're gonna have to step into
your balls and grab it.

Be your own woman.

Not somebody else's bitch.

The quest for Serena's heart

has taken a mysterious
and a violent turn.

But we will unearth the truth.

And attempt to heal the wounds
of our fractured brotherhood.

Welcome...

to the Man-Bun Inquisition.

You know, the, uh, Inquisition,

uh, isn't uh, just about
who att*cked August but why.

What are the roots,
the values of male aggression.

It's very of it's moment, you know?

It's very "Lord of the Flies."

[CLEARS THROAT]
So, welcome to backstage.

Those are riggers. They hoist...

- Mm.
- ...scenery.

- That's very important.
- Oh, yeah. It's a...

whole magical world.

Why is this so hard for him?

Why can't he just be happier?

- This is him happy. Okay? He's Russian.
- Ugh.

Wait a minute.

Sergei?

I can't believe it!

- [RUSSIAN ACCENT] Alexi!
- Seryoga!

[LAUGHTER]

[CONVERSING IN RUSSIAN]

Ahh! [GROWLS]

Jay, this is very good friend of mine

from Mariinsky Theatre
in Saint Petersburg.

Can I have two minutes to catch up?

Yeah. I mean... yeah. Definitely.

We should get all this on camera
anyway, so it's good.

No, no, no. No camera. No camera, okay?

Just two minutes alone with my brother.

- No, no, no. I can't.
- Come on. Two minutes. It's nothing.

You're the cool one. So be cool. For me.

Hm?

Two minutes.

Great.

QUINN: You're bleeding
Instagram followers.

I mean, you're down ,
since the season started.

How... How is that possible?

You're just not popping.

Yo, this can't be happening, man.

I told my publicist taking me offline

for six weeks was su1c1de.

You just need to figure out
a way to make some noise.

I mean, you know what you could do?

You could confess to
cutting off August's man-bun.

- That's noisy.
- Yeah.

Are you high?

"A," I didn't do that puss move,

"B," everybody would
hate my ass if I claimed it.

Serena would definitely chop me.

What's that look?
Can y... Can y'all talk to me?

[BOTH WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Look, we weren't
gonna tell you this, okay?

But we heard from Serena

that she's probably cutting you
tonight anyway.

What?!

Who will lead us into
the pathway of light?

Come on.

Somebody knows the truth here.

Open your hearts and be honest.

- Come on, Zach. Come on.
- Anyone? Huh?

You can do this. Own it. Own it, buddy.

What are you, a coward?

Oh, Graham, give me the damn stick.

Thank you.

JASPER: This is ridiculous.

So we all have roommates.

So, at least two of us know
who snuck out last night

to, uh... to scalp Mr. Augie up.

AUGUST: Yeah, I'd like to know.

I did it.

Huh?

It was me.

I snipped off his weak-ass man-bun.

I did it.

- Oh!
- And I liked it.

- Good one.
- Hey!

- Good one, Zach.
- Good job.

MAN: Good job, man.

Where is Alexi?

Honestly, what is going on with you?

Look, I am freaking out, okay?
I lied to Quinn.

I told her Alexi already agreed
to host "Passport to Dance."

But I haven't even talked to him
about it yet.

Are you kidding? Jay, seriously?

She's getting fitted for a custom suit.

I know. But I promised Xavier
he could host,

like, way before any of this, Rach.

You have no idea what
this empire thing means to her.

- Rachel...
- What?

Rach, please don't say anything.

I can't get wrapped up in
any more dishonesty, Jay.

- I am so sorry. I just can't.
- You know, it's cool.

You know, you've never kept
anything from Quinn anyway.

Really? Handle your sh*t, Jay, okay?

Get Alexi on board now.

[SIGHS]

Jay Carter as I live and breathe.

O-M-G, I love that look of shock
on your gorgeous face.

This is exactly what I wanted...

to catch your organized,
fussy ass unawares.

- Come here.
- Xave, what are you...

What are you doing here?

I'm here for the pitch, boo.

It's Sissy Bounce. And
I'm the bounce bounce, right?

[LAUGHING] Yeah, you are.
You're the bounce.

All right. All right.
Shut up. This is insane.

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

- Zach is lying. It wasn't him. I did it.
- [INDISTINCT GRUMBLING]

- You know... You know I did it.
- Sit down, man.

Here's the truth.

I grabbed his little nub...
didn't like it...

and I hacked it off, okay?

Sit down! Come on, man, we all know...

Get the producers out here.

There are security cameras.

Come on. Cut these cameras.

I know you know what I'm talking about.

Do you have the security footage?

Boo!

Of course I do.

- Xave, this is Rachel.
- Hi.

Girl, you mean so much to my baby,

so you mean so much to me.

Alexi's ready, beautiful people!

Let's do this!

Oh, my God. It's you. It's him.

Jay loves to talk you up.

I have seen you bounce, bounce, bounce.

Holy moly.

You're Alexi Petrov.

And you are super lucky sissy
to this silky man.

Mm.

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Her soul is singing,

each movement a note.

♪♪

[GASPS]

This is divinity!

♪♪

[SERENA LAUGHING]

You're crazy!

♪♪

Raise a glass to the God of the Gravity!

And those who defy it!

So, he's playing straight.

No, he is straight.

He's very straight.

Please.

I have got to focus on this
right now, okay?

We can talk more after wrap, I promise.

Flesh and bone

and blood and grit!

All catapulting...

[LAUGHING]

...in the air!

Bravo!

[LAUGHS]

We have uncovered footage

from the midnight scalping of August.

This is the moment of truth.

For Zach. For Billy.

For America.

- Do it, Graham. Play it.
- Okay, boys.

BILLY: Moment of truth, boys.
Get ready for it.

Here it comes.

[INDISTINCT GRUMBLING]

Hey!

I told you! I told you!

- No, no, no, no, no.
- That should be my face.

You wiped my... you wiped
my face, snipping that thing!

- They wiped my...
- No!

Come on.

That Billy, he's, like,
a bit of a wackadoo.

I think you might need to
go check under his hood.

Yeah. I have a feeling I know
exactly what I'm dealing with.

[INDISTINCT YELLING]

Yeah, this is why we have
a psychologist on staff.

You know, things can get a bit intense.

Yeah, well, you don't want
another contestant

jumping off the roof, do you?

[ INDISTINCT GRUMBLING]

ZACH: Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Zach is really something, huh?

Big heart, huge star power.

I actually brought him over from
my pilot, "Hashtag Adulting."

You sh*t a pilot?
Did you do it together?

Oh, no. I did it on my own.

Oh, yeah, this one here,

she's on a real, uh, meteoric rise.

Tell her, Madison.

How you zipped up the ladder.

Or was it un-zipped?

I always get those two confused.

♪♪

ALEXI: [TRILLS]

- You okay?
- The king is back!

[LAUGHS]

Mmmmmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm!

Okay. Come on, let's go.
Let's get you inside.

I know... I know I signed a contract.

- But I didn't sign for this!
- Hey, let's go, Alexi.

- [LAUGHS]
- Let's get you... let's go.

Thank you for convincing me
to go on that date.

I have... I have no words
for what just happened.

- That was... That was nuts.
- Oh, my God.

Okay, but I still want my time
with August tonight.

I-I still think he's the one.

Absolutely.

He's gonna be in your room
after the elimination ceremony.

Thank you.

♪♪

We need to talk.

Excuse me, are you Rachel Goldberg?

My least favorite question.

Hi. I'm Robin Carr
from The National Page.

You're Quinn's number two, right?

Yes. It's or depending on the day.

I would love to talk to you.

Actually, we need to...

We're gonna go. Excuse us.

You know, Rachel isn't her number two.

We're all producers,
so we aren't ranked.

- Technically that's true.
- [CELLPHONE BUZZING]

Oh, excuse me. Got to get this.

Ah, my girlfriend. How are you?

Oh, no, no, no, no. That...
That... That's for the lights.

The other button is for the bubbles.

So, what's it like working for Quinn?

I've heard a lot about her,
not all positive.

I probably shouldn't say anything.

Ooh, now I'm intrigued.

The word is, aside from Rachel,

female producers don't really
last around here.

[ICE CLINKING]

I just need to make things right, okay?

'Cause, like, Serena trusts me.
I just can't keep lying to her.

I had sex with August a few times.

- It's over. Move on.
- I know. But she's into him

because of what he said to her
on the date,

- but he was talking to you.
- Wait.

So, what we're producing on
"Everlasting" isn't real?

I think Quinn is threatened
by younger, ambitious women.

Mm-hmm. No, I can totally see that.

But I mean, she's still
a phenomenon, right?

♪♪

She's a mess.

She's been drinking on set.

The network president caught her.

And he told me, privately, of course,

that she's on her way out.

They just don't trust her anymore.

Well, you seem like a real up-and-comer.

Thank you. I think the network
thinks so, too.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, you know what
I could use your help with?

Serena.

They've been trying to
keep her away from me all day,

but it would seriously make
my story if I could talk to her.

I can definitely help you with that.

♪♪

Quinn, I just can't keep
doing this, okay?

I'm, like, trying harder than you know,

but I really need to
get back to being honest.

No, you don't. Just stop it, okay?

You cannot do this job

and be essentially honest
at the same time.

And I am sorry if that is gonna
make you explode or whatever,

but you just have to let it go.

Okay, well, I can't, Quinn.

I'm, like, barely hanging on here.

I really need to do something.

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey. Can you give us a sec?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

So, Serena, this is Robin.

Robin, Serena. You have five minutes.

Thank you.

What's going on?

Hi.

I'm writing a story on the show
for The National Page.

Do you mind?

Uh, no. Sure.

I read that profile of you
in Flash Talk.

It was really illuminating.

Thank you.

I'm just wondering how
a Silicon Valley baller

let herself descend into
a literal damsel in distress

- in a matter of weeks.
- Excuse me?

I mean, what message are you
trying to send to women?

I'm not sending any message.

I'm just trying to find someone

to spend the rest of my life with.

Okay, look, the damsel thing
was a regrettable blip,

but if you had seen my date with Alexi

or the connection
that I have with August,

you would know that
I have real options here.

Oh, my God. You sound like
a kidnapping victim.

You have to realize they are
manipulating you at every step.

No, I'm a lot more in control
than you think.

Okay. Serena, they've created
this whole man-bun investigation

just to keep me occupied.

Who knows what they're hiding here.

This morning, I heard Rachel
convincing Alexi

to pretend to be into you.

What?

These producers are monsters.

And I'm gonna expose them.

If I were you, I'd trust no one.

♪♪

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Rachel?

Have you been producing the guys
to like me?

Who told you that?

That reporter.
She saw you talking to Alexi.

Come on. You told me you'd
always be straight with me.

That is why I came on this show
in the first place.

So just tell me
what the hell's going on.

♪♪

Okay, fine.

Yeah, like, sometimes we do have to,

you know, like,
push the guys a little bit.

To like me?

Okay, maybe Alexi.

But not August.

Oh, come on. You told me he was solid.

You said it right to my face.

Please don't make an ass
out of me, Rachel.

I will not survive it.

Okay, look, I, like,
legitimately thought

that August was a good guy.

I really did.

And then... and then I found out...

What? You found out what?

August slept with Quinn.

Okay, they had this whole thing.

And she asked me
not to say anything to you,

but it has absolutely been k*lling me.

I am so sorry, Serena.
You deserve the truth.

♪♪

Rachel told you that
I slept with August?

It's true.

You're vile.

You are everything that reporter
said you are.

Obviously I am gonna cut your boy toy

the second the cameras roll.

All right, I wouldn't, okay?

It's a mistake
to blame this all on August.

You know what? I don't want to
hear your self-serving spin.

Hey, we all make mistakes, right?

I slept with August
and you slept with the jockey.

♪♪

Our bad.

And besides, August
didn't even really know you

when he slept with me.
Why not give him a chance?

- [SCOFFS] Oh.
- Oh, come on.

He is the hottest guy here.

Unbelievable.

None of this is anything like
it was supposed to be.

You know what?

From here on out,
I'm only dealing with Rachel.

I don't trust you
as far as I can punt you.

♪♪

They're plastic but they're changed...

Uh, excuse us, okay? We are done here.

Are you kidding?

You can write whatever you want,

including me kicking you off our set.

You know, I can't believe
that Madison thought

that it was okay to let you
talk to our Suitress.

How did you know it was Madison?

I didn't.

Until now. Dan!

You know, it's surprising to me
that you're so rough on her.

Because she's like
a younger version of you,

even following your example of
sleeping your way to the top.

[LAUGHS]

You don't know me, okay?

I rose up on this show

after busting my ass for years
in the shadows

until I finally got
the credit I deserved.

It is so interesting
that you position yourself

as this feminist hero.

- I never said that.
- Good.

'Cause I think what's really
happening is you hate yourself,

which is why you've made it
your life's work

to destroy other women.

That's the real story here, Quinn.

The real story... is you.

Have a good night.

My fact checker will be
getting in touch soon.

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

I can't believe that woman.

Did you talk to Serena?

- Yes.
- And?

And worked like a charm.

She loathes me and loves you.

So, we are back on
with you as her guide.

Okay? Feel better? Super honest?

Because I feel better.

I mean, we all should feel better.

Except Serena. But, you know, Kumbaya.

Yeah, I should feel better.

I mean, I definitely
thought I would, but, um...

Rachel?

What is going on?

I've been talking to Dr. Simon.

Yeah. I heard.

I almost did something this morning.

What did you do?

You know what? Never mind.

Rachel...

This is not the time.
We have a lot of eyes on us,

and you can't be going off the rails

or doing a deep out with Dr. Simon.

Okay, well, that's not what I'm doing.

I'm just...

I'm, like, fixing myself.

[SCOFFS] What does that even mean?

I mean, just produce the show,

don't k*ll anybody, and you'll be fine.

Don't you want me to get better?

Of course I do.

But just not now.

I mean, can you just wait
till the season's over?

No, I can't.

I'm not waiting anymore.

[INHALING DEEPLY]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, Alexi, d...

Oh, my God.

Where did you get...

Is this what you were doing with Sergei?

This is what makes me feel alive.

It makes me be the man
Natalia wants me to be.

AD DAN: Jay, where's Alexi?

We need him for
the Elimination Ceremony.

You need to get your sh*t
together and get dressed. Now.

GRAHAM: As the great Dostoyevksy
might've said,

there can be no crime
without punishment.

And so it is time for Serena
to mete out justice.

One contestant must be ex*cuted.

From the show, obviously.

And the rest will get their freedom.

And a Coif Chopper DX
portable hair-cutting system.

Because why settle for a hair cut

when you can get a hair vacuum?

Serena, who are you choices?

Owen, will you stay?

Guy, will you please stay?

Warren, will you please stay?

Okay.

Alexi, will you please stay?

No. Just joking.

[LAUGHS]

ALEXI: Here.

Oh. Oh. Ohh.

Finally somebody with something.

Jasper, will you please stay?

Wait till she finds out
about your bet, d*ck.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

[CLEARS THROAT]

August, will you please stay?

Yeah.

Good girl. [LAUGHS]

Hey, where's Rachel?

I haven't seen her since this morning.

♪♪

[WHISPERING] See you in the room later?

[WHISPERING] Not a chance.

GRAHAM: And now just two remain.

But only one can receive
a stay of execution.

SERENA: After everything
that's happened today,

I can safely say

the most important quality
that I am looking for

is honesty.

At least one of you had the guts
to show your true colors.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Zach.

Bitch, what?

- ZACH: [ LAUGHS]
- You sure?

No.

Hey, this isn't right.
Get me a producer.

Thank you.

Okay, he's saying he
did it which he did not.

And even if he did,
why are you not cutting him?

Because I'm finally cutting you.

Bitch.

- Oh!
- That's very nice.

No, you didn't!

That's fantastic.

[GRUNTING]

We'll miss you.

- [LAUGHING]
- [CELLPHONE RINGING]

Okay, hey, and that's a cut, everybody.

Well, I will miss Billy
but not his toothpicks.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, um, Jay.

I got to tell you.
I saw the footage with Alexi.

I don't know what you were doing
to keep him on his stride,

but keep it coming.

Because that is the Alexi we need.

No, yeah, yeah. I understand.
That's fine.

I can just meet you later.

♪♪

QUINN: Chez Panisse?

He had to work late.

He's just gonna order in.

Am I fired?

'Cause that's what I do, right?

Destroy other women?

[SCOFFS]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Come here.

[CLEARS THROAT]

You don't get it, do you?

I'm hard on you because
I'm trying to help you.

Do you think Rachel
got so good at her job

because I was nice to her?

You should be looking for a career

that lasts and means something.

Slow down. All right?

You're trying to cut to
the front of the line with Gary.

And I promise you,
that is not going to end well.

Does anybody have eyes on Rachel?

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

May I help you?

I'm Rachel Goldberg.

I'm sorry. Do I know you?

[VOICE BREAKING]
My mother is Olive Goldberg?

She was your therapist?

Oh, my God.

- You lied to me.
- What? No, I did not.

I said the food would be terrible

but the view would be magnificent.

You cannot question this view.

I meant the wings.

They're amazing. Sriracha?

Cool. Yeah.

I wasn't sure if you like spicy.

Aw, you think these are spicy.

- Aww.
- Mm.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

You always this happy?

Why wouldn't I be?

Working in TV's been a dream come true.

I remember when I used to think
coming to work was fun.

♪ Breathe in, the lights fade ♪

♪ It's the dr*gs ♪

I think this is fun.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

♪ Until I love you once again ♪

♪♪

Mm. Nah, it's not that fun.

♪ Defy gravity ♪

♪ Defy gravity ♪

[INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES]

If you're thinking about
drowning yourself,

that coat looks awfully buoyant.

[LAUGHS]

Mind if I join you?

No?

This place is making
my head spin, as well.

I'd offer you a sip, but, um,
I'm gonna need every drop.

That's fair.

♪ Defy ♪

♪♪

Tell me something.

If we met in the real world, [CHUCKLES]

if you walked into Vertigo
and I was there...

♪♪

I'd get your number.

And I definitely wouldn't let you leave

before I made sure that it was real.

And then I'd call you up

and I'd, um, ask you out
before you'd even got home.

♪ Defy gravity ♪

♪ Gravity ♪

You know, actually,
I think this is a lot better.

It's always so noisy there.

How... How's that torte?
That looks delicious.

So, what's the exciting news
about my pilot?

Did you finally watch it?

Uh, you know, I wanted to.

It's been a week from hell, honey.

But the good news is

Lenny, my assistant, watched it,
and he loves it.

Um, actually, my head is pounding.

Do you have any aspirin?

Uh...

Yeah. In the, uh, kitchen down the hall.

♪♪

I'll get it. How about that?

And, um...

Mmm.

Oh, that is good.

Save me some of that torte, okay?

♪♪

[MOUSE CLICKING]

♪♪

[SCOFFS]

Okay, here's the deal.

I'm pitching a show with Quinn
called "Passport to Dance,"

and you're gonna be the star of it.

What makes you think I'd do that?

♪♪

Look, I think I just need some closure.

You know, about what you did to me.

No.

What we did.

No.

No, like, what you did to me.

Come on.

We both know that your mother
was into some weird stuff

with that "experimental"
couples therapy.

You came in and saw us.

- You were watching.
- N...

- You followed me into my bedroom.
- No.

I went to the bathroom and you
were waiting in the hallway.

That is not true.

I asked you if you were curious.
You said yes.

I was .

What?

N... That's not possible.
You said you were .

I lied.

♪♪

[SCOFFS]

If I say yes,

you'll bring me more?

Yes.

♪♪

[TAPPING]

[SNORTING]

You're sorry? [SCOFFS]

Is that supposed to make me
feel better or forgive you?

Because I... you know, I don't.

You ever even think about
what you did to me?

Every time I look in the mirror.

Your father came that night...

My what?

My father never even knew
about what happened.

Of course he did.

He came that night,
and he b*at the crap out of me.

What are you talking about?

That's just not possible.

It's not. Because if my father knew,

he would've said something to me.

[VOICE BREAKING] If my father knew...

♪♪

God, I'm sorry.

♪♪

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪♪

You're scaring
the hell out of me, Rachel.

Where are you?

♪♪