04x07 - Season 4, Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

Previously on The Affair: Mr. Solloway, you, uh, got a second?

-What's up?

-I was, um, wondering if you could take a look at this other thing I've been working on.

-You reapplying to Princeton?

-Maybe.

I don't...

I don't know.

[assistant]

Mr. Solloway, Principal Wilson's on the phone with the president of the board.

You shouldn't-- -Are you f*ring me?

-What-what's going on?

-Why are you here?

-I thought you should read this.

Don't tell him I gave it to you.

-I owe you an apology.

-No, no, I-I barged in.

-So, you still my boss?

-I'm on probation.

Next week, I have to supplicate to the board.

Thank you for this.

I'll read it over and figure out what to do.

[Noah]

I'm happy to brainstorm with you.

[Anton]

Forgot my history book.

I got my quiz tomorrow, and...

-Mom?

-We were just, um, discussing your Princeton essay.

-You showed her?

-Princeton?

Again?

[Janelle]

He wants to go to the school.

[Carl]

We made a decision.

[Janelle]

Just read the damn thing!

Nellie, let's just admit what this is actually about.

You were never gonna let him stay here for school.

[Nan]

No one drives all the way across the country just to see about a surfboard.

[Cole]

Truth is I'm in love with somebody else.

I'm gonna tell her how I feel.

So I'm going home.

I'm so glad that you guys moved in here.

The last people had a very stagnant energy.

But you...

your being is, like...

it's a little...

[clicks tongue]

-It is?

-Yeah, I don't know.

I-I guess we'll find out.

[Vik]

I'm going to die.

And I haven't really made a single choice for myself.

[Sierra]

I am going to Joshua Tree.

We go out there a couple times a year to do a moon circle.

-Do you want to come?

-I totally, totally don't.

-Oh, okay.

-Okay?

Cool.

I have pancreatic cancer.

I am going to die.

What do you want me to do?

I told you, I want to have a baby.

If you really want to do something for me, you can do that.

♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪ ♪ At the moment of my death ♪ ♪ The echo I created ♪ ♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪ ♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪ ♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪ ♪ And when he d*ed, his widowed bride ♪ ♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪ ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪ ♪ Sink back into the o...

♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ ♪ Sink back into the o...

♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ [soft background music playing]

Excuse me.

Do you know where I can find rolled oats?

Aisle four, beside the granola.

-Excuse me, can you-- -Are you making overnight oats?

No.

What are overnight oats?

My sister turned me on to them.

If you're like me, a total wreck in the morning, it'll save your life.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

It's only like five ingredients.

-Okay.

-Rolled oats, almond milk, chia seed, peanut butter...

Oh, sh*t.

Chia seed, peanut butter, almond milk...

maple syrup!

And you need a mason jar.

Do you have one?

One with a really good top?

-I think so.

-[Helen]

Excuse me.

Could you please tell me where to find the Medjool dates?

Oh.

Sorry, sweetheart.

What do you need?

Medjool dates.

I can't find them anywhere.

Sure, sure.

Aisle seven.

[clerk]

So, the key is to mix everything together-- And can you tell me where the pregnancy tests are, please?

Aisle two.

[sighs]

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [sighs]

♪ I can never get enough...

♪ Mom, why are you taking so many pills?

Um, they're vitamins, and they're for Vik.

I thought, if I organized them, he might actually take them.

Oh.

They're cancer vitamins?

♪ As for me, I've got it all right here ♪ I love that song.

Turn it up.

♪ You're all I need, I'm just a boy...

♪ Actually, why don't you turn it off?

All right, you guys, come on.

-Backpacks, lunches.

-[music stops]

Homework.

Let's go.

-Let's go.

-Hold on.

-No.

Come on.

-I'm going.

-You're not going.

-Yes, I am!

Can I talk to you?

What's up?

I took a pregnancy test this morning.

Why would you do that?

Because I'm late.

We were just at the doctor.

You're not pregnant.

Yeah, I...

well, I know that now.

I-- Didn't you hear anything that Dr.

Roper said?

Yeah.

You're entering menopause, Helen.

That's why your period is late.

[sighs]

You know, things can happen.

It's not impossible.

Janet Jackson was older than me.

Don't you think I'm too young to be in menopause?

Don't you think I'm too young to die?

Vik, wait.

Kids, let's go!

I'll make sure he takes them, Mom.

Thanks, baby.

Bye.

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [gasps, chuckles]

Helen.

Oh, my God, you scared me.

Hi.

[panting]

You want some?

Yeah.

Sure.

I know you hate California.

You have to admit, we have better weed.

When did I say I hated California?

I can just tell.

You're one of those East Coast snobs who just loves to act like you're in exile out here.

Oh, no.

Where is that cookbook your mother wrote?

It's in there.

Yeah, but which one?

See, the thing that you transplants don't understand is that California is actually the cradle of civilization.

Uh, actually, I think that's somewhere in the Middle East.

Yeah, if you're talking about patriarchal society.

I'm talking about matriarchal society.

And you think that started here?

Not right here.

About 150 miles east, in Joshua Tree.

Sierra?

You know nothing you're saying is true, right?

Such a cynic.

[chuckles]

I win.

Oh, wait.

No, I don't.

You know, I wouldn't have figured you for a solitaire type of girl.

My mom taught me when I was a kid so that I could keep myself entertained when she was on set.

I didn't really have many friends my own age.

That's why I'm such an old soul.

No, you're not an old anything.

Helen, I'm gonna be 30 next year.

Wow.

No, you don't understand.

Thirty is almost, like, 50 in actor years.

Well, I'm almost, like, 50 in people years.

Yeah, but you're still really fuckable.

I'm never gonna be that fuckable when I'm your age.

What time is it?

I don't know.

Alexa, what time is it?

[Alexa]

The time is 11:04 a.m.

Oh, sh*t.

I gotta get an Uber.

Where you going?

To Joshua Tree.

To my women's moon circle.

I invited you, remember?

You kind of spat in my face.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

It's fine.

It's too bad, though.

I mean, I just had this intuition that you really needed some guidance, but...

[cell phone buzzes]

[clicks tongue, sighs]

What is a moon circle, exactly?

New moons represent beginnings.

It's a time for planting seeds and setting intentions, and then committing to behaviors to help us manifest them.

And I'm really looking forward to this one, because Gaelle is going to be there.

Who's Gaelle?

She's my guru.

She's a healer.

She's a true gift.

I mean, my work with her has been so transformative, I don't even see my therapist anymore.

f*ck it.

I'll go.

-For real?

-For real.

Oh, my God.

Awesome.

[Sierra]

You sure Vik won't mind us borrowing his car?

Um, he might, but I don't particularly care at the moment.

What kind of music do you like?

Oh, I think probably nothing that you would like.

Try me.

Uh, I don't know.

I like rock music.

I like some folk music.

Patti Smith?

Uh, sure.

She's my favorite when I'm super depressed.

Probably listened to this album like 500 times in the past week.

-Why were you super depressed?

-Um...

[Patti Smith's "Peaceable Kingdom" plays]

I f*cked a married man.

I'm really annoyed with myself because I've done it before, and it never ends well for me.

I see.

And I even know his wife, and I...

I really like his wife, so...

it was a stupid thing to do.

Why did you do it?

My mom broke up like two marriages, so I guess I just always thought that's how you vet a man, like how you know if he's stable or not.

You mean, if he's married to someone else?

Yeah, like, that's how you can tell if he's serious about commitment.

That's what my mom always said.

You're gonna think I'm full of it, but I wish I had your life.

Oh.

No, you don't.

No, I'm serious.

I would so much rather be you.

I mean, look at my life.

Yeah?

Literally, the only currency that I have is my youth or my sex or whatever.

But you...

you, like, have it all.

-[Helen chuckles]

-No, you're...

You're, like, this smart, beautiful, sophisticated woman.

You've made all the right choices.

You have...

I mean, you don't have men chewing you up and spitting you out.

You have a family and Vik and...

I mean, you have a whole world that needs you.

Like, literally couldn't live without you.

How do I get that?

♪ To build it back again ♪ ♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪ See?

♪ Back again ♪ Told you.

Pretty great, right?

♪ Build it back again ♪ Come on.

We're gonna miss the Blessing of the Eagle Feather.

♪ rhythmic, tribal music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I want you all to take a big, deep breath.

We've made it to the new moon in tropical Libra.

We call upon this new moon, our cosmic mother...

[whispers]

That's Gaelle?

Yeah.

Isn't she wonderful?

You said she was a guru.

-[Sierra]

She is.

-[Gaelle]

Join us...

She's a teenager.

Well, she was an Incan princess in a past life.

[Gaelle]

Help us uncover our first selves...

I don't care if you don't believe me.

It's true.

[Gaelle]

We call upon fire...

[Helen]

Is she even allowed to wear that thing?

-What do you mean?

-I mean, it's kind of politically incorrect.

-Shh.

-I mean, how many birds -had to die to make-- -Okay, Helen.

Shh.

Let its great power transmute our negative, lower energies.

-[Helen coughing]

-And help us move forward into positivity and light.

[continues coughing]

For people whose chakras are particularly blocked, the sage is very powerful.

I'm allergic to sage.

[sniffs]

It's...

[clears throat]

It's Helen, right?

-Mm-hmm.

-You're lucky the universe chose to partner you with Sierra here.

I've rarely met a sister whose sacral chakra is more aligned.

[Helen coughs]

[woman]

Get a yurt!

[light laughter]

Thank you for holding space.

Thank you for receiving light.

[Sierra]

Oh, my God, I hate having to wear clothes all the time.

Don't you?

That's what I love about being out here.

There's not a man in sight.

It's so liberating.

-[Helen]

Uh...

-[Sierra sighs]

So, what's the, um...

What's on the, uh...

What are we doing tonight?

Well, I don't know exactly.

Um, with Gaelle, anything could happen, but we usually have a banquet, and then we do the moon circle.

Cool.

Ooh.

This...

is for you to wear to dinner.

Oh, uh, do I have to?

Well, no, you don't have to, but I don't know how you expect to have a transformative experience if you don't at least try to participate.

[gong crashing]

What is that?

That's the dinner gong.

Gaelle loves that thing.

So, um...

what's up with the make-out sesh with you and Gaelle?

Oh.

Yeah, there's a little more to that story than I initially let on.

Is she your girlfriend?

No.

No, I mean, she's not...

not now.

She was, briefly, for like a second.

So you're bi?

I don't like labels.

Well, no, of course you don't.

Um, I should call Vik and tell him I'm not going to be home.

How is Vik?

He's fine.

I just...

I-I saw him the other day, and he seemed a little tired.

Well, he has a huge job, so...

Hi.

It's me.

I'm just calling to say that I'm not coming home.

Um, and the kids are with Noah, so you're on your own.

Uh, there's some of your mom's baingan bharta in the freezer.

Okay.

Bye.

[gong crashes]

Are you really not gonna wear that?

Because you're gonna be the only one.

Okay, fine.

[short chuckle]

So...

what about you?

Um, what about me?

Do you only sleep with men?

Um, mostly.

Um, say more.

[gong crashes]

[Sierra]

I forgot to tell you about the pièce de résistance.

Later tonight, we're going to a sensory deprivation t*nk.

[Helen]

A what?

Seriously, you don't know what a sensory deprivation t*nk is?

-Should I?

-Oh, my God.

Helen, you're gonna love it.

The water is warmed to your exact body temperature, and it's like this big womb, and you just kind of float in this mystical cocoon, and it's, like, totally transformative.

You use that word a lot.

Yeah, I'm just noticing that, too.

[Gaelle]

Okay, ladies, hand over your fears that you wrote down.

[Gaelle clears throat]

Okay.

Okay, do I have a card from everybody?

Now, the first step in validating our narratives is owning what scares us.

As you all know, a new moon is an ideal time for clearing psychic debris that has accumulated over the previous lunation.

You have all trusted your current blockages to this sisterhood.

Now, together, we will dissolve them with love.

Okay.

[clears throat]

[laughs]

-I'm sorry.

-Read it!

-[laughter]

-What does it say?

-Read it.

-Okay, okay.

"My boyfriend asked me to try a**l with him last week." -[laughter]

-And then there's a frowny face with X's for eyes.

Ladies, suggestions?

[throats clearing]

Butt plugs.

The glass kind.

They're tiny.

They're not offensive.

I mean, at first, I was like, "Absolutely not.

No way.

Not happening." But they are a gateway drug to a**l.

What if I don't want a gateway drug to a**l?

Oh, you do.

You should listen to the lady.

[laughter]

[Gaelle]

Okay.

[Gaelle clears throat]

Next, let's see.

"I am afraid having children is going to steal my creative spirit.

I still have so much I want to accomplish.

What if I wake up an old woman and realize I gave up all my energy to my children?" f*ck.

That...

Anyone?

Okay.

Guys, clearly that's mine.

Um...

I'm, like, freaking out.

Like, seriously, like, I don't even know...

I'm not prepared for this.

Like, what if this ruins my life?

[crying]

Like, I really f*cking like my life, you know?

[Gaelle]

The answer already exists in you, Cass.

It will come if you let yourself surrender.

I am surrendering.

Surrender more.

[Cass]

Okay, Gaelle, with all due respect, you have never been pregnant, and you have no f*cking clue what this feels like.

-Calm down, Cass!

-Guys, don't fight.

I know what it feels like.

I have four kids.

-Whoa.

-Geez.

[laughter]

And I do...

I remember being terrified before my first daughter was born.

My husband said I was acting like a caged animal.

Yes, that's exactly how I feel.

What do you do?

I'm a designer.

I make furniture.

Ah.

I love design.

I used to have a shop.

Where?

In Brooklyn.

-It was a great shop.

-Mmm.

But, you know, um, I can say this.

Your life is about to completely change.

-f*ck.

-No, but not in the way you think.

It-it doesn't get smaller.

It gets larger.

[Cass]

How?

Okay, when...

right after I had my first daughter, Whitney, I had this moment, and I remember it very clearly.

I was looking at her little face, and, um, it suddenly occurred to me that she was going to...

outlive me.

Her life was going to extend beyond mine, and I was finite.

You know, really just dust in the f*cking wind.

And so...

I just said to myself, "Okay, then, if that's true, what am I going to do with my one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver.

You guys don't know Mary Oliver?

Okay, but what was the answer?

Like, what did you do?

Well, I had more children.

-Oh, that's nice.

-[laughter]

But I love being a mother.

And not everybody does, and that's okay.

I mean, you don't have to give everything over to this little person.

You just have to make some room for her.

Or him.

It's a girl.

The heart actually does expand.

I-I have no idea how it does it, but it seems to always be able to make room for children.

Helen...

I'm passing my guru baton to you this evening.

-Oh, please don't.

-[laughter]

I...

I have to.

Tonight belongs to you.

[applause]

What happens if my husband loves a baby -more than he loves me?

-Well, he won't.

And my boyfriend wants to get pregnant.

I'm not so sure about him, but I want to really have a kid, so should I just do it?

-No.

-[others]

No.

Don't do that.

Like, what if I don't find a man in time?

Should I just do it alone?

You can, but it's very hard.

But, I mean, that's why you guys have each other, right?

Why you have this group?

Look, I want to be honest with you.

No matter how many new moons or tropical Libras you circle under, the only way out of this thing is through it.

I mean, and you can talk to astrologers or gurus or shamans, but the only thing that really works is living and making choices and making mistakes, and then eventually, you get old enough...

and you start to figure sh*t out.

I thought we were going to a sensory derivation bank.

A sensory deprivation t*nk?

What did I say?

I think maybe we should take that away from you.

Actually, be careful, 'cause sometimes Gaelle's stuff is laced.

Oh, well.

[takes a deep breath]

So, what was your fear that you wrote on the card?

Um, I couldn't think of one.

Your life is so perfect that you don't have any fears?

[laughs]

My life is a total f*cking wreck.

I thought I was pregnant this morning.

Oh, my God.

Are you?

No.

I'm in menopause.

Oh.

That's a bummer.

Is it?

I don't know.

Is it?

I mean, do you want more kids?

You know...

I have four children.

I don't actually want another baby.

I just... you know, but Vik wanted it.

And I thought that I should give that to him.

But this whole day, I've been thinking about it, and I've been wondering, how many of my children did I want?

Was it for me, or was it for Noah?

Who's Noah?

My first husband.

I mean, all my life, I've been feeling...

I don't know how to say this.

I've been feeling needed.

By men, by my children.

You know, I remember when Noah and I first got together, his mother had just d*ed, and-and-and...

I remember how much he wanted me, in this kind of really desperate sort of way.

And he would just, like, climb into bed with me and need to f*ck me, to feel, um, connected or, uh, safe or cared for.

I don't know, and I-I was...

I was happy to give that to him when I was young, because I thought that that's what I was supposed to do.

And then my children came along, and they're just all need.

You know, they're like little, tiny, little, walking balls of need.

And men...

men don't understand.

I mean, they have this notion of...

of-of what bringing a child into their lives would mean, but...

but-but they only do a fraction of the work, and the rest is, like, up to us.

I think I'm...

I think I'm relieved to finally be in menopause, because I will never...

have to make a decision like that again.

You mean whether or not to give a man what he wants?

Yes.

Yeah.

f*ck.

Yeah.

I think maybe that's it.

[chuckles]

You know why...

You know why I like having sex with women?

No.

Why?

Because I find that sex with women is just...

so much more intimate.

You know?

Because I can relate to their struggles, because they're my struggles.

And so, when I see a woman there naked and confident and hungry for orgasm, it's like this primal admiration.

It's very sexy.

And also, usually with women...

[clears throat]

I feel like I have a lot more control.

And, um...

I don't know, control is really hot.

♪ "Peaceable Kingdom" by Patti Smith ♪ ♪ Yesterday I saw you standing there ♪ ♪ With your hand against the pane ♪ ♪ Looking out the window ♪ ♪ At the rain ♪ [both moaning softly]

♪ Maybe one day we'll be strong enough ♪ ♪ To build it back again ♪ ♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪ ♪ Build it back again ♪ [both chuckle]

Listen, can I give you some advice?

Yeah, okay.

Um...

lay off the married guys.

Yeah, I know.

You don't, really, because you're not married.

You've never been married, so you couldn't know.

And that's okay, but...

When you sleep with a married man, it's not just him.

There's a whole constellation of people behind him, and it takes...

years to build trust in a marriage.

And when you sleep with someone's husband, it's not just a moment.

It's years of his life, and hers, and the promise they made to each other and-and their kids, and it's everything.

And you're just sh1tting all over it.

f*ck.

[dance music playing]

[indistinct, festive chatter]

The deprivation t*nk is here?

Yeah.

I want to have four kids one day, too.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ -Hey.

-No.

Sorry.

Hey, Helen.

There you are.

Oh, my God, I found it.

I found the t*nk.

Come on.

Let's go.

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [spits]

[taps lid]

[b*ating lid]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[Sierra]

Helen.

Helen, wait.

Where are you going?

♪ tense, atmospheric music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Helen.

What are you doing here?

I-I thought you were in the desert tonight.

What's wrong?

Come here.

What is it?

I don't want you to die.

I don't want to die, either.

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [crying]

Don't die.

Please don't die.

-I won't.

-Promise me.

I promise.

I promise.

[shuddering breaths]

-[Noah]

Trevor, straighten up.

-[Trevor]

I am.

-[tires squealing]

-[Noah]

No, you're not!

[Trevor]

Well, I'm trying.

[Noah]

Holy sh*t, stop!

Brake!

Brake!

[both panting]

This sucks.

Come on.

I thought you'd enjoy this.

Why?

Well, your first driving lesson.

I don't know.

This isn't my first.

Vik lets me back Mom's car out of the driveway sometimes.

Yeah, I know, but, you know, here you're learning how to steer and park and...

Whatever.

[sighs]

Okay, buddy, why don't you try reversing out?

Are you giving up?

This is pointless.

I can't even take driver's ed until next year.

Vik and I were gonna start lessons next summer.

Hey, Trev.

Listen, I-I wanted to talk to you about something.

Your friend, Brooklyn...

What about him?

Well, I just wanted you to know that if there's...

if there's anything you wanted to...

tell me about him or...

-Anything at all.

-[Trevor sighs]

Can we just get Stacey and go back to Mom's now?

Please.

Of course.

[engine starts]

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [Trevor]

You better not be heading for the Switch.

[Stacey]

It's my day!

[Vik]

Helen!

What did you do with my razor?

-[kids running]

-[Helen]

Hey, knock it off.

What?

[Vik]

Razor!

It doesn't have a blade.

Well, I threw it away.

It was dull.

Oh, hi.

[Vik]

It was only dull because you shaved your legs with it!

There's more of them in the top, right-hand drawer.

How was the lesson?

-Can I talk to you?

-Yeah, sure.

[Trevor]

You'd lose your mind if I went into your room!

[Stacey]

I didn't go into your room!

I swear to God, if you guys don't stop...

You and Vik need to work with me.

-Work with you?

-I am trying so hard.

I've upended my life to follow you here for Vik's work, -to be near my kids.

-Yeah, me too.

And you guys won't meet me halfway.

I don't...

What?

This is supposed to be a partnership, Helen.

We are co-parenting, and right now, I am the only one extending myself.

You won't encourage the kids to call back.

You roll over my visitation.

Vik is incredibly competitive with the kids.

I mean, for f*ck's sake, Helen, they are my children.

Not his.

You just need to tell him to back the f*ck up.

He's dying.

Vik has cancer, and he's going to die soon, so...

...maybe you'll forgive us if we aren't at our best right now.

What kind of cancer?

Does it matter?

The kids know?

Oh, God.

You should have told me.

Why would I have told you?

Because we're friends.

No, we're not.

Jesus, Helen, I...

I'm so sorry.

Look, i-if there's anything you need, anything I can do...

I-I can take the kids.

You and Vik can have some time.

Oh, God, Helen, I...

Sorry.

I can also...

I can just give you guys some space.

That would be great.

Sure.

Thank you.

[Anton]

Hey.

What the f*ck?

Sorry.

Your-your door was open.

Did I scare you?

[sighs]

No.

It's the hoodie, right?

The hoodie makes me seem threatening.

Better?

That's not funny.

Yeah, it is.

Well, now that you've made yourself at home...

want to tell me why you're here?

How do you even know where I live?

Read through my mom's personnel files.

I've seen all your pay stubs.

Well, then you should have known not to eat all my prosciutto.

I'm playing.

I-I White-Paged you, actually.

It's that easy, huh?

That's disturbing.

Yeah, I think you can get it blocked.

I need your thoughts.

Okay.

What about?

On whether or not I should join the Marines.

What?

What about college?

I need to be my own man, Mr. Solloway.

I-I can't keep letting my parents push me around like this.

It's not right.

Look, I know you and my mom have something going on right now.

She can be a real bully.

You should know that.

Yeah, I do know that, Anton.

I also know that she loves you like a crazy person, and right now she's having a hard time letting you go.

And that's normal.

That's not her.

That's just what happens when the time comes for kids to flee the nest.

You'd really rather go to w*r than go to college?

Well, they said the chances of me seeing combat are slim.

Yeah, they're lying.

This country is pretty much at w*r somewhere all the time.

Well, any way I go, one of them is going to be disappointed.

Look, you came here.

You want my advice, right?

I really think you need to see Princeton.

Just see it.

Just...

spend some time there.

You have this idea in your head that it's a terrible place.

Maybe it is, but maybe you'd like it.

Well, how am I supposed to pull that off?

It's all the way across the country.

Your mom will take you there.

No, she won't.

-How do you know?

-I just do.

Have you asked her?

How did you get here?

You drive?

No, I Ubered.

I never get to drive.

I don't have a f*cking car.

Okay.

Let's go.

Where are we going?

To talk to your mom.

No.

I just got here.

She'll k*ll me if she finds out -I came to you.

-Come on.

I'll let you drive.

Down the PCH.

[Janelle]

Why can't you rebel like a normal kid?

Go to Europe for a year.

Date a white girl.

You really want to f*ck with me and your dad?

Do the Peace Corps in some awful third-world place.

Don't join the f*cking Army.

-Marines.

-Boy, I will k*ll you.

Look, if I go to the Marines, I won't be a victim.

What are you talking about?

How is sh**ting other brown people gonna give you agency?

Hear yourself.

No, hear yourself.

It is always about race and agency with you.

What nine-year-old has a Black Revolutionary-themed birthday party?

f*cking Marcus Garvey on the chocolate cake?

Malcolm X napkins?

-Like, who does that?

-They make those?

Yes.

This is what I've had to deal with my whole life.

-To protect you.

-Look, if I have a target on my back, why shouldn't I sign up?

At least then I'll have a g*n.

-What are you doing here?

-Your mother called.

She didn't know where you went.

You can't disappear without telling her where you're going.

You know that.

She worries.

Why?

I'm 19 years old.

Tell him.

Go on.

You're such an adult.

Tell him.

Tell him what you did.

I talked to a recruiter about joining the Marines.

You did what?

[clears throat]

Uh...

Hi.

Does this m*therf*cker live here now?

Look, I-I know it's not my place-- Oh, you're damn right.

But your kid came to my house looking for help, so...

I thought maybe we could all just talk about it.

Who the f*ck does your boyfriend think he is?

He's not my boyfriend.

Reason he wants to join the Marines is because he can't make a decision about this Princeton thing because he is terrified of hurting one of you.

So, what I suggested was that somebody should just take him there.

Let him see the school, see if he likes it, make his own decision.

Sounds reasonable to me.

If I go, it'd have to be -this week.

-Why?

Because I scheduled to take the GED next Monday.

Anton...

in order to take the GED, you have to drop out of high school.

I can't join the Marines without it.

-Oh, no.

-You have school this week.

Hell no.

You're not joining the f*cking m*llitary.

Look, I can miss a couple classes.

I already took these f*cking classes anyway.

Boy, don't talk like that to your mother.

Why is it, whenever you're mad at me, you act like you're still her man?

-You want to live?

-Oh, Jesus.

Not another word.

Look, Carl, my friend-- Man, why are you all up in my family?

You don't have your own?

Yeah, I do.

Then what the f*ck you doing here?

Anton, go to your room.

Carl, go home.

Let's...

let's just sleep on this, okay?

We don't have to make any decisions tonight.

We don't have to do anything.

-It's my decision.

-Okay.

[sighs]

If you want to go to the school, I'll take you this week.

I promise.

Janelle, what about the board meeting?

This is more important.

[Carl]

Janelle, hold up.

We talked about sending him to a state school-- public education.

We agreed on that when he was a baby.

-Things have changed, Carl.

-No, you've changed.

-Dad, what if I want to go?

-Anton, just be quiet.

Just because you couldn't make it there doesn't mean I can't.

[Janelle]

Carl!

Hey.

[both panting]

You gonna hit me?

Hit me.

Go ahead.

Carl.

So you a man now.

Okay, be a man.

Go see what it's like.

[door opens]

[door closes]

♪ quiet, atmospheric music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [line rings]

Hi.

It's Whitney.

Leave a message.

-[phone beeps]

-Hey, Whit, it's Dad.

Uh, it's super late where you are.

You're probably asleep, but I just, uh...

I was just calling to say hi.

Mom keeps me informed about most things, but, um...

good to hear from you once in a while.

It's been a while.

Okay.

Love you.

Call me if you can.

If you feel like it.

Bye.

[knocking at door]

-Hey.

-Hey.

Can I come in?

Of course.

It's nice.

Thanks.

You renting?

Yeah.

Thank God.

How did you find me?

Um, I made Anton tell me where you live.

What, and you drove all the way up here in the middle of the night?

You didn't call or text or...?

Should I go?

No, no, please, no.

Sit down.

Can I get you anything?

I...

I've got whiskey.

You can, but let me just say something first.

[sighs]

Thank you for what you did.

I didn't do anything.

No, you did.

You stood up for my son.

That was crazy earlier.

Well, we've all been there.

We've been, uh...

divorced for so long, you'd think we'd be over it by now, figured out a way to forgive each other, find some peace.

But somehow...

They say time heals all wounds, but sometimes it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

It just makes things worse.

Anyway, I just...

Of course he should have seen the damn school.

I should have taken him.

I'm gonna take him this week.

What about the board meeting?

What about it?

If they fire me, they fire me.

[chuckles]

Look, what if I take him?

You?

I'm the neutral party.

I can take him there, introduce him to my friend.

He can observe a class.

Then we come back, and he can make his decision.

You'd do that?

I'd be happy to do it.

If it's okay with you.

And Carl, of course.

If it's a choice between this and the g*dd*mn Marines, who knows?

Maybe he would.

He should go.

Why are you doing this, Noah?

You really think my son is that brilliant?

Yeah, I do.

But I'm not doing it for him.

♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Mmm.

[panting]

[grunting]

[chuckling]

Does it turn you on -that I'm your boss?

-Oh, Jesus.

-Janelle, shut the f*ck up.

-[Janelle chuckling]

[moaning]

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

[chuckling]

Oh, my God.

[panting]

Oh, my.

[chuckling]

[both panting]

Oh, f*ck.

Excuse me.

Can you tell me what the connecting gate to New York is?

We don't have that information.

You'll have to check in on the ground.

Okay, thanks.

Hey.

Because we were delayed taking off, we're gonna have to book it when we hit the ground to make our connection, okay?

Should've got a direct flight.

Yeah, well, your mother booked this yesterday.

We were lucky to get any flight at all.

Did you talk to your dad?

He won't call me back.

You're listening to my book?

Yeah.

It's pretty good, actually.

Thanks.

[indistinct chatter]

What?

That's weird.

Yo.

Hi.

Uh, we missed our connecting flight to New York, so...

Uh, no.

"No"?

No, we have no more flights to New York today.

What about the shuttle?

They're all booked.

[sighs]

We've had delays all day because of the wind.

What about standby?

Good luck with standby.

Come on, is there anything you can do to help?

Well, let me see if I can switch you to...

Ah.

Tomorrow night, 8:23.

No, we have to get to New York tonight.

Then rent a car.

They're gonna run out of cars.

[cell phone ringing]

Cole?

Wait.

Wait.

Cole, slow down.

What do you mean?

[Anton]

So, who's coming to get us?

[Noah]

An old friend.

[horn honks]

♪ tense, atmospheric music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [announcer over P.A.]

Welcome to O'Hare International Airport.

Loading zones for rideshare services are located on the upper level of terminals one, three and four.

I'm sure she's fine.

That makes one of us.

♪ rhythmic, atmospheric music ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪