03x02 - Serious Moonlight

[bunniefuu]

...w*r is coming, Shadow.

And if I don't have the loyalty of my own son, how can I expect support from anyone else?

You were supposed to go to Lakeside.

I don't do your bidding anymore.

We're done.

You are on a path from nothing to everything.

I can help you.

Don't lose this.

What about Lakeside?

You got an apartment waiting for you there.

I'm good.

Chicago, please.

One way.

I do have one.

- Leaving for Lakeside, Wisconsin.

Hey, mister!

My friend, here, Alison...

Have a great night.

Ann-Marie Hinzelmann.

You the fellow that needs a ride?

When the Great River gave birth to the First Ones, they asked Inaemehkiwok, the Thunderbird, to watch over our people.

Inaemehkiwok welcomed the Great Sun to warm us.

Summoned the rain to make the crops grow, and battled Misikinubik, the Great Horned Snake.

♪ Inaemehkiwok.

♪ ♪ The cop, Chad...

something, he just dropped me off.

The key broke off in the lock.

Other half, it's in my left hoodie pocket.

Left side.

Turn around.

I was wondering when you'd show up.

♪ My name's Mike, by the way.

Mike Ainsel.

Wait here.

Next time you get locked out, knock on the door before you go breaking and entering.

I didn't catch your name, by the way.

"Property Manager" works.

Shadow Moon.

♪ ♪ I can't seem to save anything.

It just keeps crashing.

Interesting, ma'am.

When was the last time you did a system upgrade?

Ah!

What do you think you're doing?

You know the rules.

Okay.

Stop.

No...

touching.

All these games we play...

none of them work.

You do not lay hands on me.

You've never done this before.

I can't touch you?

I own the biggest IT company in the world.

Everyone wants something from me.

Everyone wants what I have to give.

It's like I'm a f*cking god.

So I come here to restore some balance.

Because I thought that you were different than the others.

There are no others like me.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

You're special.

As a matter of fact, I am special.

Because I choose to spend my time with you.

No!

Because I am a goddess.

You're smoke and mirrors.

And you're a showgirl.

And this is your stage, bought and paid for by William Huntington Sanders.

But you can call me Bill.

You have no idea who I am.

I know exactly who you are.

But I will show you.

♪ Is this what you wanted?

I am Bilquis.

Mother of all beauty.

I'm sorry.

I am the color of the sky!

I give light to the sun!

You...

...are nothing.

♪ ♪ My dearest Shadow.

We must speak of your head and your heart.

Please attend.

Urgently, Zorya Polunochnaya.

Also, don't forget to bring the coin.

♪ For heaven's sake, Mike, get in the car before you get hypothermia!

In weather like this, you're out there for five minutes with improper attire, and well, the only ride you're gonna need is to the coroner's in Eau Claire.

I was walking into town to buy a jacket.

It's a good thing you're pretty.

Ah!

Look at the beautiful clunker.

Clunker?

Every year, we take a wreck, we put it out on the lake, and then, folks guess the date and the time when it'll break through the ice come spring.

And then, the winner splits the pot with the high school.

It's really fun.

You're gonna love it.

Now, while Lakeside is known for its fishing, it's the to-die-for pasties that put us on the map.

Every delicious bite is like a warm hug.

But you know what really makes this place special?

The people.

- Everyone here genuinely cares for their neighbor.

It's in everything we do.

This spirit was passed down to us by the town's first citizen and benefactor, Lester Hamilton.

And when he d*ed, he left Lakeside his fortune so that its citizens would continue to prosper.

All he asked in return was that we honor some of his favorite Old World traditions.

So every year, we hold an ice festival to celebrate his generosity and give thanks for our magical little town and its Nordic heritage.

I think you're gonna like it here.

Rat-Faced Irresistible.

The trout'll jump into your frying pan once word gets out you got one of these babies.

You talking this poor man's ear off, Ann-Marie?

Lee Hennings, proprietor.

Mike Ainsel.

What can we do for you, Mr. Ainsel?

You need to get this fella into something warmer than a sweatshirt.

Nothing too hardcore.

Not sure how long I'll be in this part of the country for.

He's the new tenant on Gorman Street.

Gorman?

Heh.

We were wondering when somebody was gonna move in there.

Welcome.

Alison, can you show Mr. Ainsel the parkas, please?

And we've got some great after-Christmas sales on sweaters, too.

Thanks.

Hey.

I remember you.

Last night, outside of the bus, um, my friend and I were being jerks.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

I was having a bad day.

Made me smile.

Um, okay.

Uh, well, here are the parkas.

And, um, here are the on-sale sweaters, although, personally, I'd avoid the Christmas ones.

They're super lame.

Right.

Okay.

Let's see what this one looks like.

Okay.

What do you think?

Amazing.

I mean...

I mean it seems to fit you really well.

Well, that is good enough for me.

I will take it.

Right, these sweaters.

Anything in reindeer?

Uh, yeah, yes, I do.

What say we sell Mr.

Ainsel a clunker ticket, Alison?

I was just about to ask.

Okay.

Just need to, uh, pick a date and a time.

♪ When do you think it will go through the ice?

♪ March 23rd.

7 p.m. till 8 p.m.

Okay.

Uh, most people pick more than one day.

But, uh, I guess this is your strategy.

That's it.

Okay.

Well, I guess I gotta admire a man who goes with his instincts.

Good luck.

Five dollars.

♪ Now... which one of your teeth...

are loose, huh?

Is it this one here?

Ho!

Whoa.

Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

No.

Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll pay you twice the Tooth Fairy's going rate if I may keep this molar for my research.

Yeah!

♪ ♪ When did our soldiers first carry our totems into battle?

When Gudfred f*cked up that Frankish business.

The last time was Yorktown.

We abandoned our post as Hessian Jaegers and joined Washington's ranks.

Half the art of w*r is knowing when to switch sides.

Mm.

You have done well for yourself.

Oh, I'm comfortable.

Tyr, the w*rlord, comfortable?

Well, the gladiator's bloodlust doesn't make for a very lucrative business.

Ha!

But if it's a w*r god you want...

All I want from you is a donation.

Oh, I'm flattered.

♪ You came all this way when you could have put the touch on me in Chicago.

At the Koliada?

Hum...

Oh, yeah.

Chicago.

For Zorya Vechernyaya.

Couldn't wait 'til then?

Prosecuting the w*r is an all-consuming endeavor.

Things come up all the time, last minute.

Memorials are all well and good, but we both know that an eye for an eye don't come cheap.

Well, anything for the cause.

Should I make it out to...?

"Cash" will be just fine.

Very generous.

How are your teeth?

Nice try.

- Oh, top of the morning to you, Sal!

All right, where was I?

Oh, right!

Okay, Lakeside News is just down that-a-way.

It was started by Zachary Morgan in 1902.

He d*ed of syphilis wearing a diaper, poor fella.

Nice.

Um, so actually...

Andy!

I hope you're looking for a present for your wife!

Your anniversary is coming up.

He happens to forget things like annual marital events, like anniversaries.

Mabel's Restaurant is right over here, and the pasties, as I mentioned earlier, are the best things ever.

You know, she inherited the recipe from her grandmother, who brought it over here from Cornwall.

If I could just sneak in a quick question about where to rent a car.

Oh, that's Eau Claire, that...

I heard from Martha that Kathy's unmentionables were stolen right from her laundry basket!

I know, I know, I know.

Let's not all get in a fuss over the Piggly Wiggly rumor mill.

- Oh, hey, Ann-Marie.

- Hi, Chad.

Oh, Mike.

I see Lee Henning's taken good care of you.

Now you're lookin' more local.

Lot warmer at least.

What's Meg Gunther in a lather about?

Lingerie.

Apparently, three pairs of her days-of-the-week underwear: Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, all went missing from the dryer.

So, in her mind, we have a, uh, panty thief on the loose.

See, Mike, this is what qualifies as major crime here in Lakeside.

You know, if you're rich, you live in Monte Carlo.

And if you're famous, you live in California.

But if you're lucky, you live here in...

in Lakeside.

Oh, sh**t.

I'm supposed to meet Bart up at the inlet.

I am so sorry.

Um, hey, Chad, could you get our newest resident situated with a pasty?

Oh, you don't have to ask me twice.

- I'm starving.

- Okay.

- Come on.

- All right.

- Thank you.

- You're gonna love it.

You know, interestingly, uh, Mabel's amazing pasty recipe, she actually inherited from her grandmother.

Came all the way from Cornwall.

Grab a seat.

How you doing this morning, sweetie?

Hey, Mabel, this is Mike.

He's staying up at the spot on Gorman.

Oh, it's nice to meet you, Mike.

- Hey.

- Can I show you a menu, hon?

Uh, well, everyone's been talking about these pasties.

Uh, one pasty on the house it is.

It's complimentary to first-time customers.

Ah, thank you.

Can I get a coffee too?

I already know what this cowboy's having.

Chief Mulligan.

Hey, there.

What's good?

Ah, don't leave me hanging, dawg.

You know Derek?

Ah, no.

I think he just wants me to know he's down.

So, uh, what do you do for a living, Mike?

Uh, just working for my uncle right now.

What's he do?

He runs an import-export business.

Oh, yeah?

What kind?

Antiques, mostly.

I sound like a cop, don't I?

Little bit.

Yeah, that's a force of habit.

Jeez, Mike, I'm sorry.

- I don't mean to pry.

- It's all good.

Here you go, gents.

Oh, thank you.

Now, careful.

If you leave here hungry, it's your own dang fault.

Mmm...

Ho!

So good.

Careful.

They're addictive.

You might know.

Is there anywhere closer than Eau Claire to rent a car?

♪ Hey, there.

Look who I got with me.

Hi, Chad.

Mr. Ainsel.

Ms.

Property Manager.

So, you two have met.

At g*n point.

Mr. Ainsel tried to break into his apartment last night.

Due to a key malfunction.

Fortunately, no one was hurt.

Well, the wiser course of action would have been to call your local law enforcement.

Hmm.

Uh, Mike here is looking for some transportation, and, uh, Sandy's old beater came to mind.

The car is not for sale.

Uh, it's, uh... been parked out back better part of two years now.

Possible 10-99.

Bag of laundry taken out of Mariel Larson's Ford Flex.

Bandit strikes again.

10-76.

♪ For the record, I was only lookin' to rent the car.

Just trying to get to Chicago.

♪ What's in Chicago?

Memorial service for a friend.

I leave this afternoon.

You may want to wait a day or two.

The interstate's always a mess after a storm.

I need to be there tonight.

But I'll be back tomorrow.

A hundred dollars for the two days.

Bring it back like you found it.

If I get it cleaned up?

A hundred and fifty.

That's the only key.

Try not to break it.

Thank you.

♪ Allahu akbar.

What brings you back to Cairo?

"My new mission is of vital importance to Mr.

Wednesday.

I don't know how long it will take or how long I will be gone.

Consider this the end of our journey.

Don't look for me." So you know nothing of this "mission"?

I haven't seen or heard anything from Mr Wednesday in months.

All I know is whatever task Wednesday has demanded of the Jinn, it has driven us apart.

But perhaps the Jinn made up his own mind?

Feelings can change.

If he truly does not love me, I need to hear him say it to my face.

Well, I'm due in Chicago for the festival of Koliada.

The Old Gods are assembling to honor the ascendance of Zorya Vechernyaya's soul.

And the Jinn will be there?

Uh, it's... possible.

I would endure the seven gates of hell to know the truth in his heart.

♪ ♪ ♪ I...

know you won't come back ♪ ♪ And I...

know that it might be my fault ♪ ♪ And I've...

got a lot to...

♪ I'm off to the store, Sandy.

Mom.

I'm recording.

Oh, sorry.

Listen, don't forget, you promised to pick up Leon after practice.

Okay?

I loved every moment together with you, Zorya.

But I hated the food you cooked...

...with my entire soul.

I'm sorry.

Every meal worse than the last.

I wish you a safe journey home.

My friends.

To our beloved Zorya Vechernyaya.

Skol!

♪ What the hell are you doing here?

I said, what the hell are you doing here?

Out.

You were not invited.

Neither was I!

But here I am.

Oh, sh*t.

Without our evening star to guide us, the firmament is forever dimmed!

Oh, the two of them!

Shouldn't you be in Lakeside?

Look, she was a special lady.

I didn't come for any trouble.

Gifts go over there to table.

Yeah, I brought, I brought...

Yeah.

The same pile.

Gift.

The cigarette, I want.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Very well done.

The kid's learning.

But, you missed the most important bit of all.

From the finest cheese laboratory in Hovedstaden, thrice-fumed Havarti to ease the pain of loss, comrade.

And for Zorya Utrennyaya, a token that you may temporarily escape the agony of losing a sister.

She was a cold-hearted, sexy bitch.

And why she liked you, I don't understand.

It's beyond me.

And you, I think we have some unfinished business.

I don't care if you try to cover that nice skull.

My hammer still has an appointment with it.

Pretty sure that's not why I was invited.

You were not invited.

Well, definitely on the guest list.

Outstanding calligraphy.

It's a lost art.

Your sister invited him.

Can I pay my respects now?

Yes, you can pay your respect by going up to the roof.

Now.

Tonight, you and I will drink ourselves stupid, piss ourselves, and remember the wisdom and beauty of Zorya Vechernyaya.

Hey, you take that name out of your mouth.

Oh, this is not the place or the time...

Votan!

Listen, you did this.

You as good as pulled the trigger of the g*n that ended her life.

She was m*rder*d by shared enemies.

The balls on you, Votan.

Are you here to pay your respect to Zorya?

I don't think so.

You're here because of your stupid w*r.

Is that a sin?

I came here to mourn the death of someone who once owned my heart, and at the same time find myself surrounded by Slavic deities of every stripe.

A cotillion of allies to be recruited to our cause.

Or...

have you forgotten our cause?

Has it slipped your mind that you, Czernobog, the Dark One, swore an oath to me?

To the evening star.

To the evening star.

♪ I like the hair.

Much better look.

It was time for a change.

Did you bring the coin?

Yeah.

I carry it everywhere.

Because you are just like it.

Always half in light, half in shadow.

Part of you always hidden from sight.

The stars tell that a day is coming when you will face two paths.

You must choose which way your destiny unfolds.

The only destiny I want is a normal life.

You say that, but...

...your head and your heart are not in agreement.

Half of you comes from the All-Father.

It tempts you.

His power, his...

history.

Okay, this is what I want.

I want no more riddles.

You know?

No...

no more cryptic answers.

The stars can only reveal so much.

But, when you cannot see your way, the night sky will guide you.

♪ That was worth the drive.

♪ Ah, these New Gods, that k*lled our beloved Zorya, if they want a w*r, bring me w*r, huh?

Now, hear me, Czernobog!

I, Votan, the All-Father, swear to avenge Zorya's death!

And invite all, and any, hot-blooded bastards to help restore honor to the true gods!

♪ Wow.

He really did invite everyone but me.

Nice lift.

I don't know what you're talking about.

The postcard.

What, I wouldn't notice?

But before you pay her a visit, ask yourself if you have anything to offer her except for heartache.

Stay in your f*cking lane.

♪ My boy.

You assh*le, Wednesday!

You lied to me!

Oh, well, now, "salaam aleikum" to you too, brother.

The hell with that!

You sent him away!

I did not!

That sodomite hates me with every hair on his chinny-chin-chin.

Please.

I need to find him.

After the way he pumped and dumped you?

Get over it.

Hey.

You should have let the leprechaun k*ll him.

One day you'll thank me.

- I'm, uh...

I'm out.

- Uh-huh.

Back to Lakeside?

The place grows on you, doesn't it?

Nearly froze to death twice and almost got my head blown off.

But, yeah, food's good.

I'll be in touch, Miguel.

♪ ♪ I thought my ride was sexy.

What's your hustle?

You a sugar baby?

You got daddy issues?

I'm just doing me.

Which means what?

Playing the old man's fiancée?

That would be a no.

I'm on the all-girls squad.

So, how'd you end up with him?

Oh, his Craigslist post was dope, so I replied, "interested".

Next thing I know, I'm driving Betty and getting paid in cash.

All right.

You know what?

I don't care.

My junior year of Hunter, I got kicked out, arrested for hacking.

Up to my ass in debt.

When along comes the perfect job, right when I needed it.

Craigslist.

He paid off my legal bills and tuition.

I help him with...

um, tech stuff.

Well, the good news is, on account of me, you can now reach your old man, day or night.

What happened to the phone booths?

Right?

Hella progress.

Look, I got all sorts of sh*t with my old man, but maybe consider your Pops isn't a complete f*cking assh*le.

Now, that is a stretch.

Heh.

I hear you.

But if you ever need a friendly voice, I get it, not him, just call the number.

You'll get me, at least.

All right, listen.

When it all gets too much to handle, and it will.

Likewise.

What the hell is going on in there?

Wednesday.

♪ ♪ Hey, Mabel.

Yes?

Ah.

If I have another one of those pasties, I'm gonna want four more.

So I am gonna take it easy and I will have, uh, bacon and wheat toast, please.

Everything all right?

♪ Hey, Chad!

Hey, Mike.

I'm gonna have to ask you some questions.

You left for Chicago about 4 pm.

You stop for gas before you left town?

Thank you.

Yeah.

The, uh, the CITGO at, uh, Main.

What's up?

Alison McGovern didn't show up to school or work yesterday.

No one's seen or heard from her since her shift ended at Hennings the previous day.

Gotta understand, Mike, this is nothing personal.

We're going to go over your whereabouts for the past 72.

And Mike, I need you be as specific as you can.

Sure.

It took about seven hours to get to Chicago.

You were there for a memorial service.

This a family member?

Friend of my uncle's.

Yeah, I stayed at the, um, Freehand Hotel, East Ohio.

And drove back this morning.

The windshield?

I hit a deer on Route 36.

The mechanic shop in Stevens Point fixed it.

Okay, Mike.

I am gonna need you to write down the exact route that you took so we can confirm that with highway surveillance cameras.

♪ Also gonna need to hang on to the vehicle for a Luminol test.

Sure.

f*ck it.

♪ Hey, Mike.

Wait, is...

Is that for the fireplace you're not allowed to use?

You know what?

Just sh**t me.

Okay?

For real this time.

Because it's a lot quicker way to go than just freezing to death.

I think maybe you and I got off on the wrong foot.

I spoke to Chad.

He said your story checks out.

Chicago, the windshield.

I'm sorry.

Anything on Alison?

Talked to some of her friends.

No one knows any reason why she might have left town or where she could've gone.

The family's putting up fliers and asking for volunteers to help in a search.

Let me know if I can help.

Look, Mike...

The thing with the shotgun.

That wasn't cool.

No.

It wasn't.

I had the breaker for the furnace turned off.

No one was living here.

Why heat an empty place?

Oh, uh, almost forgot to give you this.

I got the guys at the body shop to save it.

Figured your son might want it when he got back.

Where's he at school?

You didn't say.

Florida.

Nice.

What's he studying?

Uh, if your heat goes out, or you want some help insulating those windows, you know where to find me.

♪ ♪ Little Margaret, sitting in her high hall chair ♪ ♪ She saw sweet William and his new-made bride ♪ ♪ Riding up the road so near ♪ ♪ She threw down her ivory comb ♪ ♪ Threw back her long yellow hair ♪ ♪ Said, "I'll go down and I'll bid him farewell ♪ ♪ And I'll nevermore go there" ♪ ♪ It was late in the night They were fast asleep ♪ ♪ Little Margaret appeared all dressed in white ♪ ♪ Standing at their bed-feet ♪ ♪ For I want to kiss those cold, cold lips ♪ ♪ For I know they'll never ♪ ♪ Kiss mine ♪ ♪ Three times he kissed her cold, cold hand ♪ ♪ Twice he kissed her cheek ♪ ♪ But once he kissed her cold cold lips ♪ ♪ Then he fell in her arms asleep ♪