09x09 - Grill in the Mist

[bunniefuu]

Hey.

How do I look?

Devastatingly beautiful, as usual, honey.

That's sweet.

Uh, now try it while you're actually looking at me.

Oh.

Wow, look at you.

What, are you hiking down to Whole Foods?

Have you forgotten why we bought all this stuff?

It's for our trip to Peru.

Right.

You know, I'm running out of time.

I don't think I can get there today.

- We are gonna go, I promise, I promise.

- Eh, no, no.

You keep saying that and we keep not going.

Don't you remember during the pandemic, we talked about all the things we were gonna do as soon as it was possible?

I thought we were talking about touching our faces.

All right, you know what, rather than joke, if you don't want to go, why don't you just tell me.

I want to go, honey.

We're gonna do that, but this pandemic has changed the sales landscape at work, and I'm doing my best to rebalance it.

Yeah, but does the sales landscape have misty mountaintops and breathtaking Inca ruins?

Hmm?

Do you know why the Inca had ruins?

'Cause they never rebalanced their sales landscape.

You know what, I am getting the feeling that we are never gonna go.

My dream is disappearing, - like the morning mist over Cuzco.

- Honey...

Honey, honey, we're going to go, I promise.

I'm looking forward to it, just like you.

But just because the pandemic is over doesn't mean I don't have to deal with the fallout at work.

Well, just promise me you're not gonna be one of those guys - who dies at the office.

- Oh, come on.

Why do you say stuff like that?

I exercise, eat right.

My life couldn't be happier.

I've got every si...

(IMITATES FLATLINE)

♪♪ All right, what happens when a car gets out of alignment?

Uh, loose steering control, uneven wear on your tire treads, lower gas mileage.

Hi, I'm Mike Baxter's daughter.

MIKE: Thank you, Kris.

And you're right.

The car runs inefficiently.

Just like our store.

Sometimes it needs to be realigned.

When I'm out of alignment, I visit Katerina.

Please tell me she's your chiropractor.

Yes, and my astrologer, too, yeah.

Doesn't have a license for either, but...

They say time is money, but in our case, space is money.

Ooh.

Uh, even outer space?

No.

Listen, Chuck saves us a lot of money in security equipment using just this square footage he has in this tiny office here in the bullpen.

I know where this is headed.

I'm gonna get a door.

(CHUCKLES)

No, you're not.

Listen, you take up just as much space as you need.

You're very efficient.

You're perfect.

I'd rather have a door.

Wouldn't we all rather have a door, huh?

'Cause presently we're averaging about $ per square foot - here at the store.

- Well, if you think about it, a ski boot is really a square foot.

- Right?

The flat part, right at the toe, you put in...

- Kyle, focus.

What Mike is trying to say: parts of the store that are earning more than $ per square foot will get more space.

The parts that are not will be reduced.

From where I sit, the bike department is k*lling it.

Yeah, uh, the Grill's right across from it, and I agree.

That's a good example.

During the pandemic, we sold a lot of bikes... very successful department.

Yeah, I mean, people love exercising outdoors.

I look at it this way: they just like riding away from their families during the pandemic.

I guess I should be glad my space is literally too small to be downsized.

Do you actually need the chair?

Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes.

Look at it.

I don't know how I ended up with so many clothes.

I do.

We traded our money for them.

Kyle texted " emergency".

It's an emergency.

The worst kind.

A fashion emergency.

So that's why Vanessa laughed when I told her to call the cops.

No, the closet.

I'm getting rid of anything that I don't need.

And she wants you to help her.

Oh, no, I can't.

I'm too busy... not wanting to.

No, Jen, Jen, Jen.

No, come on, you're the perfect person to do this.

You're-you're organized, you hate clutter, and you're brutal.

(CHUCKLES): Okay.

Let me be brutal.

You're incapable of letting any of your clothes go.

Whatever I pull out, you're just gonna put back in.

No, I won't.

I promise.

Yeah, and when Mandy makes a promise, she gets pretty darned close to keeping it.

(SCOFFS)

Okay.

But if I do this, we do it my way.

I'll need three hours uninterrupted, one large box, packing tape, and all my decisions are final.

Okay, and then what about the shelves in...

No questions.

Great.

Okay, thank you.

All right, come on, Mandy.

No, no, no, no, no.

- Come on, babe, they've never loved you back.

- (GRUNTING)

Still hard at it, huh?

Yeah.

I think I figured out what I need to do.

Oh.

Then why are you still going through all these files?

Well, the answer is, um, actually quite painful.

Well, I mean, if it helps, it'll mean we can finally go to Peru.

And you better pack light, because Peru is not Chile.

(CHUCKLING)

You're laughing at my pun?

It must be really painful.

No matter how many ways I look at it, I still come up with the same answer.

We're gonna have to shut the Grill down.

No.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Kris has...

given so many years to that restaurant.

Well, a lot of restaurants suffered during the pandemic, and the Grill is no exception.

Isn't there another option?

Can't you just trim from a-from a different department?

Could do that.

We could eliminate, uh, like, say, footwear.

"Hey, Mr. Johnson, we no longer sell hiking boots, "but you could strap an...

an ostrich filet to your foot - with a piece of kale around it".

- All right.

Okay, all right, I guess not.

Oh, honey, - Kris is gonna be devastated, just devastated.

- No kidding.

Only way to fix things at work is to break my daughter's heart.

Mm.

Hey, maybe we could go to Peru right now.

Screw Peru.

Just beer me.

MIKE: All right, when Kris gets here, let me do the talking, all right?

Yeah, yeah.

She's worked so hard for this place, - it's breaking my heart.

- Yeah.

She's like a granddaughter to me.

Well, I'm sorry I'm doing this to you.

You've seen the analytics.

The numbers speak for themselves.

Yeah, but there must be something we can do.

Look, for example, what if a generous, handsome, unnamed patron were to purchase a thousand bison chops from the Grill?

Hey, then we could start our own restaurant.

- Hey, doll.

Come on in.

- Oh!

- Hi, gentlemen.

- Take a seat.

Doesn't she look beautiful!

Look at that.

Ed, Ed, Ed.

Hold it together.

Uh, okay, l-listen, so, I've...

- been going over the numbers, - Yeah.

and I think I found a solid way to rebalance the store's financials.

Well, that's great news.

Yeah, well, how are you gonna do that?

We have to close the Grill.

You see?

I knew it.

What?

W-Wait.

Am I the only one here that's concerned for your feelings?

Our revenue per square foot has dropped % since the pandemic, and...

as much as I want it to, Dad, uh, I don't see any sign of a rebound, so...

That's exactly what you came up with.

I thought this would devastate you.

(LAUGHING)

No.

I'm not devastated.

Oh, now, that's... that's a huge relief.

I'm completely destroyed.

But, uh, it's what's best for the business.

The numbers... they speak for themselves.

They-they do.

Listen, I know this is hard, it really is hard, and...

and, uh, don't worry about, uh, letting your staff go.

I'll-I'll handle that.

Yeah, your dad is very good at letting people go.

You know, Bob in the art department, he just asked me out for lunch.

I paid, you know, because I-I just fired him.

Well, I appreciate the offer, Dad, but this is my staff.

I hired them, and I'll be the one to let them go.

I'm proud of you, Kris.

Good.

You can take me out to dinner.

You'll have to pay.

Oh, my God!

Jen, this is amazing.

You could get a job cleaning up crime scenes.

Ooh!

Or organizing closets.

It was a lot of work.

Oh, and I found a book report on The Great Gatsby. Aw, man, that's where that was.

I arranged by color, and within each color, I broke it down by season.

Well, these are all my favorite clothes.

There is not one thing in here that I don't love.

Oh, look.

Seven-year-old Mandy was only five foot, six.

That was a tough year for me.

I was taller than my teacher.

So...

this is everything you're getting rid of?

Yep.

Uh, so, what's in there, exactly?

Doesn't matter.

The fact that you don't know means that you won't miss it.

That's really smart.

Shall we take a look?

Uh, no.

No, no.

That was the agreement.

You're right.

You're right.

Jen makes the final decision.

I will not look in the box.

Thank you, Jen.

You're welcome.

And the fact that you didn't notice this necklace, and I don't work for free, thank you. There you are.

- Hey, I've been looking for you.

- Listen, if you're all hopped up on liquor and want to fight, - I'm good at this.

- (CHUCKLES)

No.

Uh, I think you can hire my staff in other parts of the store.

I'm all ears.

Okay, well, uh, Isabella, she has a great personality.

She would be a natural in customer relations.

Steve is an avid cyclist, he'd be perfect in the bike department.

I mean, I...

Look.

I've typed them all out.

All right.

Well, you put a lot of work into this.

Uh, well, yeah.

I guess once I was forced to fire my staff, I realized they weren't just my staff.

They were my people.

And I can't let my people down.

When did you become such a compassionate businesswoman?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Hi, I'm Mike Baxter's daughter.

Well, listen, you're gonna have to go to HR and discuss this.

Already did.

I spent all morning going over the lateral hires with Kyle.

It turns out I actually saved the company quite a bit of dough on recruitment costs.

I love the sound of that.

We close the Grill, but we don't lose any employees.

Mm, not quite.

Couldn't find a position for the manager.

(CHUCKLES)

You.

There's no restaurant for me to manage.

I'll be okay.

Thank goodness your husband sells dr*gs for a living.

Thanks for everything, Dad.

Oh, hey, Jen.

Is that a new dress?

No.

It's one of Mandy's old sweaters.

My closet's full of them.

- That smells fantastic.

What is it?

- Yeah.

It is braised short rib.

I only make it when Mike's feeling, you know, down.

Like when he missed something he sh*t at.

He's more sensitive than people think.

Now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Baxter sad.

I've only seen him annoyed - and shamelessly pleased with himself.

- I know.

Yeah.

What does he have to be sad about?

Well, this thing with Kristin and the Grill closing.

He was so proud when she took over and made it successful, and now he's just devastated.

- Mm.

- Hey, guys.

What's going on on this beautiful night, huh?

What?

Every day, something new to confuse me.

VANESSA: No, I-I don't understand.

You were devastated when I talked to you on the phone, and that was only half an hour ago.

That was then.

This is now.

Changed my mind when I was driving down I- , saw that big Outdoor Man billboard with my smiling face on it.

So, seeing a picture of yourself made you feel better?

Generally, I drive by that billboard, - same one, I get kind of bummed out.

- VANESSA: Mm-hmm.

'Cause I wonder when I retire, what's gonna happen?

I mean, who can fill those rather attractive European rock climbing shoes?

Tonight, it was different.

I drove by there, I got an idea.

When I pack it in, Outdoor Man can be run by Kristin.

Kris.

(CHUCKLES)

Of course.

- Of c...

Wow.

I...

Yeah, I love that idea.

- She's got - great business instincts.

- VANESSA: Yeah.

Great.

She's the one that told me the Grill should be closed, right?

- She's great with her staff.

- VANESSA: Mm-hmm.

You know what else she did today?

Tell me.

I want to know what my baby did.

What, what, what?

She relocated her entire staff into the store.

She's got great management skills.

- She's got a big heart.

- VANESSA: Yeah, she really does.

Oh, you know, I-I want to find that potholder she made me in third grade.

I love this.

- Outdoor Man is gonna be run by a woman.

- VANESSA: Mm.

Just like that, you turn it political.

Well, this is so incredible.

- MIKE: Yeah.

- (CHUCKLES): Yeah.

Uh, but-but there is only one problem.

- Um...

- What's the problem?

What are we gonna do with the short rib?

I only ever make it when you're sad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

O-Okay, okay, um...

Do I have to share it with Jen?

Of course.

Then I'm very sad.

What are you doing?

Shh, I'm sleepwalking.

It's dangerous to wake me up.

You were gonna look inside the box.

I got to know what's in there.

Kyle, it's driving me crazy.

What if there's something in there that I want to wear six years from now?

All right.

If I tell you what's in there, will you drop it?

How could you know what's in there?

Because I know what's not in the closet.

The blue romper that you were wearing the-the time that pigeon landed on your foot.

The, uh, striped sweater you had on when we ran out of gas in Aspen and had to push the car.

(MANDY CHUCKLES)

The Christmas dress you were wearing when I told you that Rudolph joke and you laughed so hard that eggnog just sh*t out of your nose.

The dress you were wearing to your cousin's wedding.

You didn't outshine her, but, boy, did you come close.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Should I keep going?

You remember all my outfits?

Of course I do.

Everything you've ever worn is tied to some great memory.

That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

It's true.

And these clothes aren't going anywhere!

Our life is in this box.

All right, how about this?

You keep all these clothes, and I get rid of all of mine.

You know what?

No.

It's okay.

The memories are what's important.

We can let all of these clothes go.

I don't need them.

I have you.

And you can buy me more clothes.

Can you say that again so I know that I heard you right?

I think, Kris, you're the perfect candidate to take over Outdoor Man when I retire.

(LAUGHS): Holy cow.

I never thought I would hear you say the word "retire".

That's like hearing you say, "Go, Raiders".

Oh, take the Kn*fe out of my back.

Ed and I talked about it, and we both think you have the right instincts to become the future CEO.

CEO?

- Future CEO.

- (LAUGHS)

- Is this an elaborate prank?

- No.

Like-like that time that you, uh, convinced Kyle that you were the purple ostrich from The Masked Singer? I almost had him.

I almost had him.

But no, this is real.

And I know it's a lot.

I know it's serious.

I want you to think about it.

Go home, talk to Ryan about it and get back to me, okay?

It's an amazing offer, Dad.

I...

I don't need time to think about it.

I didn't think you would.

- My answer is no.

- Yeah.

"No" like, "There's no way I can say no"?

No.

As in "no".

Why would you turn down this big opportunity?

It's-it's financial security.

You get to be your own boss.

- You-you get your own door.

- (CHUCKLES)

Yeah.

Because I know you.

Y-You will never leave this place.

What are you talking about?

You know, I've always said I was gonna retire someday.

Yeah, I-I don't think you could ever let this place go.

Who in their right mind would stay at Outdoor Man forever?

Hey.

I'm making nachos in the office.

Anyone want to chip and dip?

(CHUCKLES)

Not now, Ed.

All right.

But don't come crying to me after they're all gone, huh?

I said who in their right mind.

Listen, you are Outdoor Man.

Your whole identity is wrapped up in this business.

You really think you can ever let that go?

It may come news to you, but I have aspirations outside of this very aromatic office.

You serious about this, Dad?

Your mom and I have a whole second act planned.

And I-I'm excited to spend time with her, so don't mess this up.

And when does this second act begin?

(CHUCKLES)

As soon as you're ready to step up and take over.

Uh, and how long will that take?

A year?

A year to teach you everything I know about running the business?

(SCOFFS)

- Fat chance of that.

(CHUCKLES)

- Mm.

So, two years?

(STRAINING)

Yeah.

- Okay.

- Okay.

I want it in writing.

(CHUCKLES)

I just said I was gonna retire.

Yeah, yeah.

That's nice.

But I want it in the contract that you will retire in two years.

Okay.

And I want it to say that if you don't leave in two years, I will get a big penalty payment.

How big?

Hmm, that's something my, uh, lawyer will have to figure out.

Your lawyer?

Boy, you turned into a real pain in the ass.

No.

No, no, no.

I'm just...

I'm Kristin Baxter, - future CEO.

- Future CEO.

(KRISTIN CHUCKLES)

- Is this thing happening or what, huh?

- (KRISTIN SIGHS)

Yes.

Yeah.

Uh...

I will not let you guys down.

Outdoor Man will be in great hands.

- (CHUCKLES)

- Ah.

All right.

You're a pro, Kris.

You're a pro.

Come on.

(SHRIEKS, LAUGHING)

(VOCALIZING)

(ED LAUGHING)

You know, sometimes, I still see her as a little girl, you know, all grown up.

Just keep it together, Mike.

Try it with a smile.

Come on.

Hey, Mike Baxter for Outdoor Man.

You know, they say being a parent is the toughest job in the world.

That's only because "they" never operated a horizontal jackhammer in a coal mine.

(CHUCKLES)

Once you've had a giant pneumatic drill banging against your chest all day, I'll bet changing a stinky diaper's actually pretty fun.

- (BABY CRYING)

- No, being a parent isn't the toughest job in the world, but it is the most important.

And every child will give you at least one moment where you feel like you've completely blown it, right?

They fail a math test or a driver's test or a pregnancy test.

(GROANS)

And you think you've failed, too, right?

But then, if you've done your job right, your kid will show you a resilience you never knew they had.

As parents, we get up every day and work hard so we can take care of our kids, but there's no more gratifying feeling than realizing we've done a good job.

Good enough that they can take care of themselves.

Because, let's face it, once they can do that, we know they can take care of us, too.

And I, for one, plan on being every bit as demanding as my kids were when they were with me.

Maybe I'll get a little bell.

- (BELL RINGING) - "I want soup.

Not that stuff in a can.

That weird stuff in a box".

Baxter out.

Huh?

(CHICKEN CLUCKS)