08x01 - Money Can Suck My Cock

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Trailer Park Boys". Aired: April 2001 to present.*
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Ricky and Julian are two guys whose lives were shaped by their experiences growing up in the Trailer Park. Their childhood was typical of most trailer park kids: stealing, fighting, smoking, drinking, scamming and listening to Van Halen.
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08x01 - Money Can Suck My Cock

Post by bunniefuu »

(Dog barks, truck rumbles)

Ricky: how the f*ck are you so stupid, jacob?

Turn it around so the cock-shaped thing's At the back, you f*cking idiot!

Sorry, ricky, if you're gonna yell at somebody, Yell at your own f*cking employee, not mine.

Ricky: jacob, get the f*ck down here.

Holy f*ck!

You're stupid, corey.

This is the stupidest you've ever f*cking been.

Bubbles: jesus christ, ricky, When you said you were getting ac unit,
I thought you were buying one.

Not getting the one they use to cool down The whole f*cking store.

Yeah, man, I got the one off the f*cking roof.

Clint set me up big time.

I traded a half pound of weed.

It's perfect though.

I got a sh*t tonne of weed.

I've got to keep it cool, bubs, or it goes bad.

Oh f*ck.

What in the f*ck?

No, no, no, not a f*cking chance.

You guys can f*ck off with the cameras.

Swearnet's this internet company That approached us with contracts, Wanting to follow us around with video cameras again.

So they throw the contracts on the table, Ricky grabs them, signs it immediately, And the guy can't even f*cking read.

Bubbles: ricky!

No!

Swearnet, those assholes, Tricked us into taking nine f*cking grand.

Supposed to be ninety.

And where's the lifetime supply Of f*cking cigarettes and booze, huh?

Where the f*ck is that?

Did you forget about that?

Think that'll just be water out of the f*cking fridge?

The money's gone!

This contract is nullted.

Nulled and f*cking void.

(g*nshots)

f*cking calm down!

f*cking g*n's hot, ricky!

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ (Cat meows)

♪♪ You negotiated the contract and we signed it, And by law, these fuckheads are allowed to follow us now.

Yeah?

You stay the f*ck out of my way, Or I swear to f*ck I'll blast your cocks right off your body.

(Loud, splintering crash)

Ricky: jesus christ!

Bubbles: f*ck, she snapped!

Oh my f*ck!

Aw, great!

Corey, you get back here!

Jacob, you f*ck nerd, you're paying for this.

So are you, julian!

That was jacob's f*ck-up right there.

Jacob's been working for julian for a while now, And julian's been getting pretty f*cking cocky about it, So it was pretty cool when corey showed back up at the park.

Been running him full-time for about six months now, He's been helping me out with my retirement.

And it sucks having one dummy around instead of two, But hopefully f*cking trevor comes back someday.

Nobody knows where that alien-looking, Cinnamon-twist f*ck chicken even is.

When me and trevor got released from the asylum, We didn't wanna come to sunnyvale right away, So we started hitchhiking and we went everywhere, dude.

It's like, we went to china, we worked in a rice field.

We went to australia And made money playing didgeridoo on the street, And then we went to new york And we were gonna go see a backstreet boys concert 'Cause they were having a reunion, And we wanted to see the subway because, you know, it's cool.

It's like famous.

We got on, And the door shut before I got on behind trevor And...

The train just left.

Oh my f*ck, boys!

Oh god, orangey!

Orangey, are you okay?

Orangey is ricky's goldfish.

You know, when lucy and trinity were moving out of the park To go live with george, Ricky was pretty upset.

So, you know, trinity gave the fish to ricky And he's become very attached to it.

Very attached to it.

(Cat meowing)

Gary laser eyes likes him, too, don't you, gary?

Here, look.

(Gary meows)

here is is.

Hang on, ricky, here!

Jam him in here.

Ricky: good thinking, bubbles.

Oh, thank f*ck.

Oh, you like it in that little water bong?

You okay, little buddy?

Sam: I don't give two shits what you heard, barb!

I did not f*cking bang him!

Barb: well, the person who just told me Seemed to know an awful lot of details, So I think you did effing bang him, sam.

f*ck!

Did she just say, "I believe you effing banged him?" Yup.

Julian: for f*ck's sake, marvin!

You gotta pace yourself, man!

I always wanted one of those bars Like that tv show "cheers" - You know, where everybody knows your name - And now I have one.

Julian's sports bar and gym, and this place f*cking rocks.

I mean, look at this place, the detail.

Sarah designed it.

Busy as f*ck.

But the best part about the whole thing Was that bubbles found a loophole With the liquor licence - I don't need one.

All I've gotta do is give away free drinks, Collect donations - money goes in there, Right into my pocket, tax free.

And I hired trin, She's one of my best workers, unlike her dad.

I've had a really good couple of years And basically every wall, the ceiling, And my entire trailer - All insulated with bales of weed.

And then I drywalled over it so you can't really tell.

It's f*cking awesome.

And it's my retirement, So I mean to keep weed the longest, You gotta keep it at a constant four degrees celsnius, And since it is my retirement that's what I have to do.

(Loud crash)

f*ck!

I've been taking the weed and making honey oil out of it.

It's a pain in the f*cking ass to make.

I mean that right there took awhile, But it's worth a lot of money And I've been selling it to high-end clients.

And, you know, I am making over $1500 dollars a month right now Through these clients.

I'm basically retired.

Things are going pretty damn good for me.

I'm all set up here Right in between ricky and julian.

I've got a great big double-wide lot here Because I've got a business about to start up: Bubbles shed-n-breakfast.

Look at that, I come up with the whole concept myself, Made the sign.

I think it's gonna be a f*cking gold mine myself, 'Cause it caters to the millions of people out there That wanna have a nice resort-style vacation, But they wanna be able to bring their kitties with them.

Those places don't exist, so I'm gonna provide that.

I've got four pads there waiting for sheds.

It's gonna be f*cking awesome.

They're all gonna have power, air conditioning, High speed internet.

All the f*cking amenities you can imagine.

And on top of it, I'm gonna be serving pancakes With all-you-can-eat homemade maple f*cking syrup.

I've been collecting the sh*t out of this stuff.

Basically you just filter out all the bugs and the nitre.

Boil the dirty whore off and she's ready to go.

There's all this sh*t And then you just got pure maple syrup left in there, And it is gonna be f*cking scrump-dilly.

Only problem with this process is It makes me really have to use it.

No, gotta use it.

Gotta use it.

(Urinating)

Can you turn off the f*cking camera?

Hey, boys, Listen, I'll got all the f*cking hoses and electrical hooked up.

Cool.

I'll have her ready when you get back.

There's the money for the sheds.

sh*t.

I still don't know why you're wasting your money When you don't f*cking have to.

Bubbles, you need to f*cking learn to see money For what it really is.

Here you go, orangey.

So one night I'm laying awake in the car And I can't f*cking sleep 'Cause I've got all these thinks and thoughts Roamin' around my brain compartments And brain departments, And this f*cking flash lightning went off, or on, Or whatever the f*ck it does.

And my brain speakled out to me and said, "Why the f*ck am I trying to grow dope To make money to buy sh*t, you know, When, pretty much, the people that have all the sh*t I need Smoke dope?" So I got rid of the middle land And I started making my own f*cking money out of hash.

It's perfect.

I mean, with a pocket full of ten, One, two, five gram hash coins, You can buy whatever the f*ck you need.

So I don't need money anymore.

Money can suck my cock!

Bubbles: f*ck off, ricky!

Ricky: f*ck!

Bubbles: we're doing this legit, ricky.

I wanna get my stuff the old-fashioned honest way.

That system might work for you, but I'm not doing that.

Ricky: great.

Bubbles: look!

Bubbles: it's old pissy paws himself.

Randy: what the hell's with the g*nf*re, ricky, you idiot?

Ricky: wasn't us.

What in the frig is that big thing?

Actually, it's a f*ck-off machine, randy.

You never seen one before?

Who the f*ck is this weirdo?

He's gonna be the new assistant trailer park supervisor, ricky.

He moves in tomorrow, all right?

You better treat him with some respect.

I sure hope you got the permits And necessary documentation to hook that thing up.

I hope you got the necessary doguments And f*cking permutations to suck on my shaved balls, Do you, randy?

Nice slippers.

What happened to your brand new fancy shoes?

Ha-ha.

Very funny, ricky.

I know you're the one that pissed in my new shoes.

Don't think I'm gonna forget about it either.

Come on, donald, let's go.

Wasn't me, randy.

I don't piss.

Gentlemen.

(Engine rumbles)

Bubbles: anyway, boys, get to the f*cking hardware store, The big blowout sale that's happening Right in the parking lot.

Just promise me no f*cking shady horse cockery.

Julian: bubs, don't worry, we're gonna get your sheds, okay?

And then we're gonna come back here and celebrate.

Boys, look around.

Look what we've f*cking accomplished here.

That's great except for the big f*cking massive hole In the roof of my car.

What the f*ck am I supposed to do If it ever f*cking rains again?

f*ck!

Jim: today is my last day as supervisor Of sunnyvale trailer park.

I haven't been getting along that well With my ex-wife, barb, lately, Ever since she married that loser, sam losco.

Anyway, she didn't think it was appropriate To renew my contract.

Nineteen years.

Not even a g*dd*mn thank you.

Whatever.

Oh, and guess who's the new supervisor?

(Vehicle rumbles)

So this is where I live, donald.

Donald: lovely.

Don't pay much attention to mr.

Lahey If he's a little standoffish towards you.

He's not in the best of mood about having to retire today.

Oh, and he's a little uneasy About me hiring a new assistant, too, Especially one as handy and toned as you are.

Thank you.

Mr. Lahey, we've got some company here.

Mr. Lahey, what in the frig are you doing?

You said you weren't going to drink Until after you were officially retired.

Randy!

It's just orange juice?

Wow.

I might have a little drink To celebrate my retirement tonight, randy, But then again I might not.

I haven't decided yet, bud.

I'm in control.

Maybe more in control Than I ever been in my whole life, bud.

(Shoe brush drops)

You must be donald.

Donald: yes, sir.

It's a pleasure to be graced by your presence.

You have intense eyes.

Beautiful.

What brings you two by?

Ricky's installing this big friggin' thing On top of his trailer, And he's got no permits.

I thought you might wanna take him down As trailer park supervisor, one last time.

Ah, leave him alone, randy.

Randy: mr. Lahey, why have you been backing down from ricky lately?

I haven't been backing down.

There's more at play than meets the eye here, bud.

Yeah, like ricky pissing in my brand new shoes.

You didn't back me up on that one either.

Comme ca, comme ci.

Fine!

I'll look after this myself.

I washed those frigging shoes three times In tomato juice and vinegar, And they still smell like piss.

(Sighs)

Ricky: there you go, dale.

I'll give you two tenners and a five, man.

Thanks.

I'll have her back in half an hour.

Bubbles: f*ck, boys, I'm so f*cking excited.

Thanks again for doing this.

One more month of good cart business And I'll have enough money To put the interiors in those f*cking sheds.

Get this f*cking thing lit up!

Ricky: it's gonna be awesome, man.

About f*cking time!

Bubbles: f*ck, I love that car.

(Hip hop music blasts from car)

Where have you guys been?

Never mind where we been, man, we're here now, You know what I'm sayin'?

What up, b?

All: hey, j-roc.

How you feelin', dawg?

What's up, t?

What's up, y'all?

What's goin' on, man?

You too.

Rascal, right?

What's up, fellas?

Did I get you, julian?

J-roc: hey!

What's up, man?

Julian: where's the stuff?

J-roc: I got the stuff wit us.

Well, the stuff should be in the bar.

Well, the stuff's in my trunk Till we talk about some sh*t first.

J-roc, we've been through this before, okay?

I don't need a f*cking bar partner right now.

This sh*t's running perfectly.

Ask yourself why it's running perfect.

It's because of my sh*t, you man.

This here's roc vodka, you know what I'm sayin'?

J-roc: can I get a zhyeah?

All: zhyeah!

Comes in four delicious flavours, You know what I'm sayin'?

Blueberry, ban-orange, pazamagranate, And apple cizinnamon, y'all.

Delicious and tight as piss, you know what I'm sayin'?

J-roc: can I get a rra-rra?

All: rra-rra!

Cut me in, bwoy.

We can be partners, dawg, I'll make it some next level bullshit, You know what I'm sayin'?

But you gotta trus.

The two of us.

I went as far as I could in the rap game, y'all.

Got accolades, had shorties pushin' up on my junk, You know what I'm sayin'?

Then I was like, There's gotta be more to liz-ife, You know what I'm sayin'?

I looked 'em up.

I was like my homeboys j and fitty, And all them ma'f*ckers, they got briz-and, dawg.

You know what I mean?

So I wanna be a business ma'fucker.

I wanna be a business ma'fucker.

Now I just need one thing, And that's for julian to cut me in On a little ear-a ear-a, iggita-iggita ear-a Azh-brap zha-brap ear-a ear-a iggita zlam!

Peace!

You gotta think about this.

All right, I'll think about it.

We'll talk about this later.

J-roc: let's talk about it now you- No, let's talk about it later.

A'ight!

Let's talk about it later, But I can take this sh*t next level, b.

I know.

You gotta trus!

I know, man, I trust you.

Promise.

I'll talk to you later about this.

A'ight.

I'm busy.

Mr.

Green, kajijojiji...

Julian: just unload the sh*t.

J-roc: rascal.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Mr. Finch, mr. Green, Unload that sh*t, y'all.

(Jars clank)

Bubbles: is that a new flavour?

J-roc: yeah, right.

Pound that in your word hole And tell me it ain't the birth of christ.

(Sniffing)

Berry flavoured.

Berry delicious, ain't it?

It's dope!

Julian: hey, man, just park in front of these sheds.

Rick: it's coconut and talk-o.

Julian: rick, we don't have time to talk to coconut and talk-o.

Rick: I just wanna give talk-o a little piece of weed.

He f*cking loves it.

I love that f*cking bird.

What the f*ck's going on, coconut, You spicy son of a whore.

Parrot: agg!

Spicy son of a whore?

Talk-o!

Coconut: told you, man, watch the language around me bird, man.

Me have customers.

Talk-o likes weed.

Parrot: agg!

Talk-o likes weed.

Ricky: you like that, don't you?

Coconut: ricky, come on, man.

Tongue my balls!

Tongue my balls!

Coconut: come on, ricky, man.

Julian: come on.

Let's go buy these sheds.

Parrot: finger my ass.

Suck my cock.

Bawk!

Ricky: bubbles hasn't thought this out very well, if you ask me.

We can get those f*cking sheds for free, okay, And then sarah can take that money.

We're not stealing the sheds.

But she could take the money And get the interiors all decked out, Then he's set up like we are.

Look at those two, it'd be a f*cking joke.

What're you thinking?

Hey, coconut, Can I borrow your f*cking lights for a minute?

(Car rumbles)

Hey, bubbles, I need to see the permit for this thing?

Are you even qualified to be doing this?

Bubbles: what?

I don't have f*cking permits for this, randy.

Well, I've got to ask you to cease work immediately.

I'm sorry, but I know this has got something to do With ricky growing dope.

No, it doesn't have anything to do with growing dope, I swear on jehovah's nutsack.

That's just an air conditioner.

We all needed one for the businesses And we thought if we just got one biggie and shared it.

You know, I'm gonna have it all hooked up to code And everything, I promise.

Please, randy?

Please?

It does make a lot of sense, randall.

I can feel the sincerity.

Your soul is pure.

Pure.

Randy: if I find out ricky's growing, I'm shutting it down.

Jim: (over walkie-talkie)

randy, there's a big shitstorm going down at barb's.

Meet me there!

Come on, don.

Don: and away we go.

(Truck rumbles)

Ricky: on the ground!

Undercover intercontinental insect enforcement agency.

Julian: get down!

Ricky: hands where I can f*cking see them!

Do not f*cking move!

People are f*cking stupid, especially college peoples.

You show up with a flashing light and hand g*n And use a bunch of big words, And you basically get whatever the f*ck you want for free.

This is worse than we thought, officer lahey.

Totally infested with the afnican Hellimenium-eating zulu petes.

Julian: oh, jesus christ.

Ricky: we gotta burn all these right now, All these new ones.

Let's go, on your feet!

Let's go!

Get up!

On your feet!

Give us a hand.

We gotta take all these away right now.

Julian: oh, jesus, rick, we got a pisser.

Ricky: oh my god, did you piss yourself?

Kid: you f*cking scared me.

Ricky: oh, you're lucky we got here when we did.

They spread across the country in two weeks, They bang like crazy.

It's a good thing.

Come on, let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go!

You know, I feel bad.

Here's a couple hash coins, okay?

I got these from the last bust.

Don't tell your f*cking boss.

Let's get these going quick before he comes out here.

These things are gonna f*cking spread everywhere.

Move it, move it.

Holy f*ck, college peoples are stupid.

Do not say a f*cking word to bubbles about this either, You assholes.

Barb: I don't care!

Sam: barbie!

Barbie!

Barb: I don't care!

I want you out of my life!

Sam, I want you out of my life and out of this trailer park!

Jim: barb!

Go back inside.

I'll deal with this.

I don't know why I keep ending up with men Who turn out to be something other Than what I think they are.

Don't you tell me what to do, jim lahey!

I want you off my property, too!

Just go, both of you!

Sam: you can't kick me off this park!

I own half this f*cking sh*thole!

You don't own half of sunnyvale, sam, 'Cause I own one percent.

So calm the f*ck down!

Calm down?!

Don't you f*cking tell me to calm down, lahey!

Jim: randy?

Sam: if I want any lip from you at all, I'll wave my d*ck at you.

Barb: oh!

Just go!

Sam: yeah.

Jim: b*at it, sam!

Just go!

You are a f*cking...

You're a cheating bi-sexual- Don't say it!

Barb: cavemaaaaaan!

You had to f*cking say it, didn't ya?

Let me show you a f*cking caveman.

Here!

Here!

Here's your caveman right here.

Right here.


Yeah, you want some caveman?

You want some caveman?

Oogah f*cking oogah!

There's your caveman!

(Sobbing)

anyway, that is that, And I have to sell the park to split the assets with sam, And I will take my half And I will buy some cute little place Down south where it's warm, And, um...

And I will never look back.

Ricky: where in the nuclear fiddlecocks is my f*cking car?

Corey took it to get it fixed, ricky.

He actually felt pretty bad about this morning.

Ricky: good!

He f*cking should.

Bottle kids!

(Bottles smash, kids laugh)

Bubs, come check out your shed, man.

Bubbles: this is amazing!

Amazing, boys.

You did it!

Oh my f*ck, you even got the oil t*nk.

Ricky: f*cking right!

I paid a bunch of hash coins towards everything, man.

Saved you a tonne of f*cking money.

Ricky?

Look me in the eye.

You guys stole them.

You stole the f*cking sheds.

Not exactly, bubs.

Julian, I can't believe this!

I've been working my nuts to the bone, day and night, Hauling shopping carts, Just so I can live a clean, respectable life, And this is what you f*cking do.

(Sobs)

But now you have enough money you can open up immediately, man.

We did it for you!

It's awesome!

Julian: the people at the store had no idea we were stealin' them.

They thought we were doing them a favour by getting rid of them.

Julian, f*cking listen to yourself, "They thought you were doing them a favour." Maybe you could do me a favour once in a while Without turning it into a g*dd*mn crime spree.

Do you think you could do that?

(Sobbing)

I'm going up to haul more shopping carts.

When I get back, these dirty stolen sheds Better be off my property.

Who's got your belly?

You get your f*cking hands off my belly!

Holy f*ck.

Cocksucker!

(Sobbing)

Julian: nice going.

What the f*ck are we gonna do now?

Let's get high as f*ck and build some sheds.

Bubbles: ...f*cking do this my way!

People f*cking it up on me.

Agh!

What the f*ck!

(Shopping carts rattle)

(Sobbing)

(Car alarm blares)

(Three g*nshots pop)

Hey, we're almost done here, guys.

Julian: nice!

Great work today, everybody.

Good hustle.

Cheers!

Least we could do for a ma'f, you know what I mean?

(Siren wails)

five-o, y'all.

Woop!

Ricky: f*cking pussies.

We businessmen.

We don't play five-o, b*tches.

Ricky: f*cking joke.

Good evening, officer highcock, Beautiful night out there tonight.

This new cop shows up to the trailer park With his pants pulled up to his tits.

He looked like a f*cking idiot.

He was an idiot.

I don't know what j-roc and t And the roc power are so worried about.

The guy's f*cking dumb.

Probably dumber than george green.

Officer highcock can f*ck right off.

I'm not scared of him.

Officer daniels: it's officer daniels, to you.

I've heard a lot about you guys.

Ricky: oh good.

Then you probably heard that you can (coughs)

suck (Coughs)

our cocks.

Officer daniels: what was that?

You want to repeat that, son?

Ricky: no, nothing.

Just coughing.

So what can we do for ya?

Where did you get the sheds, boys?

We actually found them in the classified ads, Got a really, really f*cking good deal on them.

So those 4 sheds weren't stolen from the hardware store today?

Because the description of the two idiots that took 'em Matches you two unemployed dumbasses.

Lucky for you, there were no cameras On that side of the building.

Ricky: some sheds got stolen?

Man, that sucks!

What colour were they?

We can keep our eyes open for them.

We know a lot of people.

Officer daniels: oh yeah, you don't think I know that you painted them?

Ricky: oh, so you think we did it.

Okay, so we stole the sheds and then we painted them, And wired them up with electricity, Put air conditioning in, Did all the insides, decorated them, And got drunk in one f*cking day.

(Laughs)

That's quite a f*cking theorny you got there, eisenstein.

You know I've met a lot of dumb shits just like you in my time, And every single one of them ended up in jail.

Just a matter of time.

See ya around, boys.

Ricky: love your pants.

Sarah: bye, officer!

Ricky: f*ck off.

You stole those sheds?!

You guys promised.

It was the only way, sarah, to get 'em open this quick.

It's always the only way with you, ricky.

Julian: I think I hear bubbles coming.

(Shopping carts rattle)

Wobbly son of a whore!

Looks like you got a pretty good haul there, bubs.

What, you're not gonna talk to me now?

Bubbles: no.

Julian: listen, man, I'm sorry.

I gotta show you something.

Bubbles: well, I don't wanna see anything.

Julian: well, I'm gonna stand right here until you change your mind then.

Oh, is that right?

Well, I'm not gonna change my mind, So it's gonna be a long night.

Fine then.

I'm gonna sit right here Until you change your mind then.

Well, it's gonna be a long night, julian.

Hope you got lots in your drink.

Julian: certainly do.

Hope you don't gotta piss.

No, I already pissed.

I'm good for about eight hours, bud.

Julian: sure you don't wanna come see what I wanna show you?

Bubbles: no, I'm perfectly fine standing here 'til the morning.

Julian: so am i.

Bubbles: set your alarm clock.

Bubbles and julian are two of the most stuvern people I know.

I've seen them get into f*cking mexicali stand-ons That can last for 3 or 4 hours.

It's f*cked.

Bubbles: (imitates a blaring alarm clock)

Can't turn off my honker, julian.

(Imitates blaring alarm clock)

Jesus christ, this is getting ridiculous.

I got a deal for you.

You come see what I wanna show you, You win.

I win?

Yes.

I wanna hear you say, "all right, bubbles, you win." All right, bubbles, you win.

All right, let's go then.

Winner.

Hey, sarah, they're coming!

They're coming!

Julian: okay, keep those eyes closed, bubs.

Bubbles: I got them closed.

Quit bossing me around.

Julian: bubs, we spent all day working on this, all right?

Okay.

On the count of one, open those eyes.

Three, two, one, open.

(Cheering)

Bubbles: oh my god!

Sarah: do you like it, bubbles?

Bubbles: do I like it?

Look at this!

It's unbelievable!

My god, it looks like a norman rockwell painting.

Did you decorate them up, sarah?

Sarah: well, everybody helped.

They're f*cking amazing!

Look at the little kitty signs over the beds.

I know, barb donated those.

She made them especially for you.

Look, I have to tell you something.

I'm so sorry.

Nobody told me that these sheds were stolen.

Yeah, sorry, man.

It's all right.

They were just trying to do a nice thing for me.

Julian: well, everything's gonna be legit And running smooth from now on, I promise, okay?

Julian: no more crime, buddy.

Bubbles: (sighs)

all right.

Girl: congratulations, bubbles!

Bubbles: is that a cake for me?

Ricky: congrats, buddy.

Bubbles: (laughs)

look at that.

"Congrats, ma'fucker." J-roc must have put the icing on.

(Blows out candles)

I'm so proud of you, bubbles.

Bubbles: well, I did have some help from my friends.

(Laughs)

Bubbles: is it ice cream cake?

Ricky: no, man, it's frozen.

My f*ckin' trailer's outta control.

Are you sure you hooked that thing up right?

It's f*cking freezing in there; it's on the lowest setting.

Bubbles: ricky, that was meant to cool down A 20,000 square foot f*cking department store, Not a trailer packed full of weed.

(Car rumbles)

Ricky, I am so sorry about what happened today, But check it out.

Corey, you know that's a f*cking house window You put in there, right?

What're you thinking?

Ricky: oh, I know what he was thinking.

I get it.

A f*cking sun roof!

Great f*cking encore!

You fixed jacob's mistake.

Corey: case of pepperoni and smokes, dude.

Ricky: good work, corey.

Corey: thanks, dude.

Barb's selling the park, what's up with that?

Ricky: what?

Bubbles: what?

Well, lahey's out front putting a for sale sign up.

Ricky: what the f*ck are you talking about?

(Hammering)

Ricky: what the f*ck do you think you're doing, You f*cking assh*le?

Jim: I'm just doing my job, ricky.

You should get one sometime.

Ricky: oh, yeah?

What, you're retiring, So you're gonna f*ck with us one last time By trying to sell the trailer park?

That's bullshit.

Jim: I'm not trying to sell the trailer park.

Barb and sam are, to split the assets, ricky.

Julian: what the f*ck are you talking about?

Jim: well, apparently someone made an anonymous phone call To barb today And barb and sam's marriage came to an abrupt and shitty end.

Jesus christ.

Great.

This is gonna totally f*ck everything up.

We gotta get a hold of barb.

Maybe we can help her buy out sam or something.

It'd be great if it were that simple, julian, But unlike she did with me, Barb didn't have sam sign a pre-nup And now they own equal shares of the park.

So what does that matter?

Well, one of them needs a majority To buy the other one out.

It's true; it's a shotgun clause.

Jim: and there's only one other person Who owns a share in this park!

One percent to be exact.

And who's that?

Oh, f*ck.

You called barb.

What are you talking about?

That's crazy talk.

(Watch alarm beeps)

Oh, look, I'm officially retired, boys.

Ta-da!

Bubbles: oh my god, he's on the f*cking liquor.

Ricky: we're f*cked.
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