03x02 - Of Rights and Men

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Workin' Moms"...

Cut the sh*t, you're here to ambush me - so you can see the baby.

- It's been two months.

I'm her dad, you have to let me be that, for better or worse.

Frankie, meet your new neighbour, Bianca.

Turns out she's gay, like you.

Dr.

Heshinton, as of this morning you are no longer a professor on staff here.

This is outrageous!

Looks like you've molested your last mind.

Yes!

Hi.

What-what are you doing right now?

As your children's safety is our number one priority, we will be doing weekly emergency lockdown drills in preparation for fire, um, active sh**t, severe weather, !sis, and nuclear fallout.

And so, naturally, we expect all of you parents to be hands...

on, okay?

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Foster.

Sorry.

So nice of you to join our orientation.

I was just explaining to the parents how they should reinforce what the children are learning in school, at home.

Yes?

Oh, parking is such a nightmare.

Oh, please, you were cleaning the dong bong.

Your children's safety is of the utmost importance to us, which is why I'm confused as to why nobody filled out my online questionnaire with regards to your children's histories.

What happened there?

Oh um, Kate said we shouldn't do it.

Oh, uh, that's not true.

I-what-look, uh... here's what happened.

I started it, and I-I was texting Jade.

It was ridiculous.

I-I tried to, but I-I fell asleep.

It was a g*dd*mn novel!

Guys, it wasn't that bad, it was...

And yet, you encouraged them not to do it?

You know, this is just a miscommunication, but the great news is, we filled out those applications, which really, were very thorough.

I-I think Kate's right, it was a lot.

Well, clearly Kate knows what's best for all of your children.

Well no, I wouldn't- I wouldn't say that.

But, they are our children... right?

- Noted.

- f*ck.

- Page 6.

- 6.

6, thank you.

So, you feel ready?

Yeah, as ready as I can be for pre-trial.

It's fine.

Brad Heshinton has nothing on ten angry women.

I guess that's what I mean, the whole anger thing.

Maybe just have a snack before you hit the stand?

- I'm fine!

Totally fine.

- Anyways, forget about Brad, I wanna know about your trip to the boneyard.

Oh my God, it's so crazy, and he'so young, but I can't stop thinking it's the most irresponsible thing in the world.

- What is?

- Go away,

- we were talking about d*ck.

- Anne!

- What?

We are!

- Kate, can I talk to you?

- Hi, Nathan.

- Alone?

- It's fine.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Call me.

Yeah.

Good luck!

- You screening my calls?

- We need to talk.

Maybe you do.

I don't.

Look, you can punish me forever, I deserve that, but please don't punish my relationship with our daughter.

- Where is she?

- She's with my mom.

- I-I have to get to work.

- Let me see her.

Kate, this isn't working!

It's been too long.

If we're not gonna talk, then I need to get a lawyer maybe, to sort out our custody situation.

A lawyer?

Really?

I don't want to, but you're not leaving me any options!

Think about it, Kate, please!

I have rights, Kate!

f*ck your rights.

So, they only serve cereal, huh?

Wonder how often they wash these sheets, though?

- I'm really hard right now.

- What?

Like, got a boner.

- I know what hard is.

- Right now?

Have you ever done it in a...

public washroom?

Actually, yeah, once.

At a friend's wedding.

I would like to challenge that time.

I feel up to it.

I bet you do.

Kate?

Oh, Kate!

Oh, no, no, no.

Mom!

What a coinkidinky!

Are we on another double date, here?

- Nope, uh-uh.

- This is my assistant, Uh, and this is Barry, your financial advisor.

Do you always take my daughter out on your dates?

Oh, it's just a little power walk.

Nothing kinky.

And Francis, could you show him how it's done here?

- Let's go, Barry.

Excuse me.

- All right, Mom...

Yup.

You are absolutely glowing.

Mom.

And I think it's the boy.

Didn't want to say it before, but the last 9 or 12 months, Kate, you looked like total sh*t.

- I was pregnant.

- And could you not today?

I've got so much on my plate.

Let me guess, Nathan?

Well, he wants to spend time with Ella.

Threatened to get a lawyer.

Let me give you some advice, do not take children into the courts.

Lawyers are for money and property, period.

So I should just give into him?

Kate, you have to move on.

She is his child, let him see her.

And you, keep seeing Florence over there.

It's Forrest.

Doesn't matter.

Whoever you're doing, he's working.

- Yes!

Yes!

- Yes, okay, awesome.

Awesome, draft that, and email me the contracts.

Okay, thanks.

Oh, sorry, G.

I have a house closing this afternoon, another showing tomorrow.

What's up?

We still haven't paid Rhoda's fool tuition yet.

- It's stressing me out.

- I took care of it!

- Really?

- Yeah.

Uh, I'll pay you back my half.

No!

Don't worry about it, I got you.

- Wow, thank you.

- Yeah!

It sounds like things are going well - at Frankie Coyne Realty.

- Ooh, what makes you say that?

Could it be these new cards?

Whoops!

- Oh.

- Bam!

What is this?

- It's my new campaign.

- Whadda ya think?

What does it, what does it say to you?

Oh, that you love cash?

No, no.

It's me, telling my clients, I'm gonna get them cash.

Oh, 'cause it really just screams, "I'm rich, bitch!

Hey!" Is that what you're going for?

I have to look the part.

Hang on.

You got Frank!

- Hi.

- Oh hey.

Hang on.

Okay.

Come on in.

Come on in.

No I-I know!

Okay.

Can I, can I just call you back?

'K, thanks.

Ugh, sorry!

Bianca!

Holy sh*t!

This place is amazing, Frankie!

Thanks.

Yeah.

The only thing that's missing is you next door.

Anyway, come on in.

Speaking of, um, I brought you these.

Oh.

Yes.

Mail from your old place.

- Oh!

- Yeah.

Okay.

And I also, I think I should warn you, there appears to be a diamond-studded leprechaun roaming the streets, looking to buy and sell homes.

Hey, it works.

The phones are ringing, you assh*le.

Well, obviously.

Sit.

Sit.

You want some- some tea, or something?

Oh, I'd love that, but uh, I gotta run to a doctor's appointment, so.

- Uh, okay.

- Well, I'll see you soon...

I'll see you soon?

- Sorry, I gotta take this.

- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

- Okay.

Bye.

- Call me.

Bye.

- Oh, hi.

- Hey.

Oh, this came for you.

Who's it from?

I don't know, do you have a secret admirer?

Hmm.

Cigar box.

What is this?

- Steve.

Huh.

- Hmm.

As I've said before, Kate, I like your story.

That's one of the reasons I brought you here, today.

And what is here, exactly?

I mean, love the decor, but does Stenton own this place?

No, no, this is a matter unrelated to Stenton Capital.

Chester!

Nick!

Wally!

Hey, gentlemen, come on, let's gather around.

There's someone very special that I want you to meet.

It's feeling an awful lot like that scene in "The Accused." I kid, of course.

But don't r*pe me.

Kate, I'd like to introduce you to MOOD...

the Men of One Direction.

Oh, like the band?

Told you that name wouldn't work.

- Drop it, John!

- I already made the cards!

Anyway, this is the woman that I was telling you about.

Tell them your story, Kate.

Oh.

Uh, well, I'm in public relations.

No, not that.

Tell them about your living situation.

- The divorce.

- Hmm?

- Oh, I'm divorced.

- Uh, well, separated.

- Like, I live in an apartment.

- You didn't take the house?

No, I let my ex keep the house.

I wanted to be out on my own, and I can afford it.

Well, sort of.

If only all women were like you.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, thank you.

Yeah.

Look, I see myself as one of you, you know?

Just an entrepreneur, trying to build a business.

And look, if there's anything I can do to help the men of MOOD, I'd be happy to.

What is it exactly that you guys do?

Kate, these men are after one thing.

Equality.

Mhmm.

But don't they have enough already?

Oh no.

No, not when the women's movement has, well, has gone as far as it has.

Pardon?

Gentlemen, I strongly suggest that you, you come to Kate Foster PR for all your uh, spin needs.

I fully endorse her, because Kate Foster is a woman for men's rights.

Well...

Kate, Kate, Kate.

Give me a call.

Might have a job for you.

Thank you.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

And Ms. Carlson, can you state for the record, - what you do for a living?

- I'm a psychiatrist.

And, a couple of Mr. Heshinton's accusers saw you as a counsellor, before coming forward with charges?

Not as a counsellor, but yes.

I'd like to submit Exhibit C.

Did you present this to Mr. Heshinton's initial accusers?

Predator Party.

A little glib, no?

That's not what it looks like.

So, it wasn't a celebration of your collusion against Mr. Heshinton?

No.

My friend made that cake.

Yeah, it's a little crass, but that's not...

So, answer me this, after your divorce from Mr. Heshinton, did you receive any spousal support?

No!

That's not what this is about!

Making him pay in other ways?

- Objection!

- I'm not after his money!

You can't object, Ms. Carlson.

Fine.

I'm sorry.

I came forward on behalf of young women, on behalf of myself!

He's a scumbag mind-molester!

Is that what you told the women at the Predator Party?

- Come on.

- No further questions.

This is never going to trial.

- Equality.

- Equality.

Ugh!

- For themselves?

- I know.

- Ugh.

- It's crazy, right?

Disgusting.

They reeked of privilege and stone crab.

- We can't work with them.

- No!

No, they're evil.

I know, I should just throw all these in trash, right?

Yes, immediately!

It is kinda hard to say no to money right now.

- Are we too broke for morals?

- Kate?

But maybe we're being a little bit sensitive.

They are just a bunch of harmless dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs aren't harmless.

Have you seen "Jurassic World"?

The park is gone, Kate.

It's gone!

- They can't be that bad.

- Don't we want multiple clients?

You know, increased cashflow?

This guy.

I met him, he seemed okay.

Okay?

- Look at this.

- Mhmm.

Huh.

Ooh, personal worth, 5 billion.

Business worth?

8.

Oh, that's a lotta money.

That's a lotta money.

How misogynist could he be?

I'm a woman.

I mean, technically, that is business he could've given a man.

- You're right.

- That's progress, right?

- Uh huh.

- He's basically a feminist.

- Okay, okay.

- Yes.

Yes!

Do it!

- Yes!

Do it!

Yes!

- Okay.

But if there's any funny business, we're out.

- Out!

Same page, completely.

- Right?

- Pinky swear.

Eskimo kiss me.

- Okay.

No, we're good.

We're good, we're good.

Okay.

- Thank you, Rosie.

- Break a leg.

Ouch.

Yeah.

Right.

I do, I do hear what you're saying.

I...

yes.

Okay, well can you just...

Can...

mhm?

Hello?

Holy sh*t, Juniper?

What?

- What?

What do you mean, what?

- What are you doin' here?

Oh, I stopped by your old place, and they told me you moved here.

Anyway, I've seen you on like, the back of 40 buses.

- You're like, famous and stuff?

- Oh.

Must've cost some dough.

Yeah, things, things, are goin' good.

So uh, what's new with you?

Nice new haircut, by the way.

Oh this, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was gonna do the whole thing, but then I stopped, and I was all like, wait, yeah.

Cool.

Then I tried selling it, but you know, Craig's List is weird.

Why-why are you selling your hair?

Tuition money.

Oh.

My uh...

my bigot mom cut me off when I came out to her.

- Oh.

God, it's so awful.

- I'm so sorry.

And uh, I've been applying for loans, because I don't wanna quit.

You know, my parents...

shouldn't get in the way of my education, right?

Just 'cause girls make me wet.

Mhmm.

You think you could help me?

Until the money comes in?

Uh, well how much is school?

It's 10K.

10.

10K.

She made me look like an idiot, like a legal idiot.

You are not an idiot.

- No, I'm not!

- You are, though.

That cake that you made is the reason that he is walking around, just probably rubbin' his boner all over people's brains.

How many times do I have to apologize for that cake?

Lest you've forgotten, that cake brought people together.

Can't get away with this.

I need to do something.

If not, he wins.

Right?

- I mean, I did slash his tires.

- Excuse me?

And I smashed his windshield, so.

Well, we've all smashed a tire, and smashed a window.

- Really?

- No, of course not.

That's crazy, Anne!

You gotta walk away from this.

You gotta move on!

Do something positive.

I know!

Okay!

There's a job at the university.

Hey, that sounds good.

Yeah, and they need a therapist, and I'm applying, so I can you know, get even.

Get ev...

Anne, this feels an awful lot like another tire slash.

What, I love you, but why are you taking this job?

- No, I am a professional.

- Hmm.

I'm going to professionally help the victims of that monster, okay?

I'm fine!

f*ck you, fucker!

I'm going, okay?

- Jesus Christ!

- You're a lot right now!

Hey!

Nick?

Ooh, Kate!

- I just got your message.

- You said you needed my help.

- Excuse me?

- I do, indeed.

I'm going to send you a picture, and it has been circulating out there.

Uh, and it's very legal.

- You're being awfully vague.

- Is there a woman in this photo?

Not a one, just me and my son.

Right, and is it sexual?

No, it's a-it's a camping photo!

It's a time-honoured tradition in our family.

Okay, so you just need a strategy if this photo - should come to light.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Excuse me?

- Exactly.

And I think you're gonna be very impressed with this photo.

Very impressed.

Okay, do me a favour, why don't you send it to me.

All right?

We'll speak soon.

Bye, bye.

I'm sorry, but you can't just walk in.

- Of course.

- I'm just picking up my son.

- We bring them to you.

- And you are...?

I'm Kate Foster, Charlie's mom.

Oh, the Headmaster actually wants to speak with you.

Oh, Oh.

Okay.

What's going on here?

Mrs.

Foster, please take a seat.

I've just been informed that you entered the school to take Charlie?

No, if you'd been listening during orientation, you would know that you can't just enter the school and take your child, we have to bring the child out to you.

Anyway, I did wanna speak with both you, and your husband, about Charlie's impulse control.

Charlie has...

- Jazz...

no, diarrhoea.

Wait?

- Kate!

No, I'm gonna get this.

Gas.

Outbursts of energy.

It's as if he's mimicking some expl*sive behaviour.

I need to ask, is there any tension in the home?

Are you asking, or insinuating?

Mrs.

Foster, I just need to know what I'm working with, so I can best determine next steps for your child, and quite frankly, if we don't see some significant improvement, uh, I'm gonna need to recommend a behavioural specialist.

I know what's goin' on here, okay?

You and I, we just got off on the wrong foot.

Actually, I'm the uh, source of the problem.

Look, we've been trying to make things more stable for Charlie, but I've created some serious obstacles for Kate.

It's not her fault.

Well, I do offer counselling.

- No, we're good.

- No, thanks.

I think we need to go to therapy.

No one can fix our problems, Nathan.

Maybe not, but we have to figure out how to parent together, right?

Okay, fine.

You know what?

We'll just let the lawyers figure it out.

Well...

I can't fight with you anymore, Kate.

I love you, buddy.

Hey.

What are you doing right now?

Hi.

Come here, sweet girl.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh, there she is.

Oh my God.

Hi.

Oh no, no, no.

Hi, sweetie.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Hi.

Hi, hi.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept her from you.

You deserve to be her father.

Oh God, I gotta get outta here.

Look at how big a person I'm being, I'm like, exhausting myself with this maturity.

- Mom?

- I'm here.

Okay.

Let's leave Nathan alone with the baby.

Fine.

Except Nathan, I know exactly how much money I have in my wallet.

He's not gonna steal from you!

He stole from you, the best years of your life?

- What?

- Okay?

Now get Charlie, let's go.

It's your dad.

Hi, hi.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Ugh, old guys.

Am I right?

Mom, you know Barry's older than Nathan?

Oh, quit spoiling my boner, Kate.

Oh.

Uh, hold on, it's work.

Here's the photo I told you about, I'm having one of those days, I guess.

- Oh no.

- Ew, who's that?

Oh God, my new client.