05x09 - Field of Schemes

[bunniefuu]

No, I was winning but then I changed to paper which is what you have.

But, you not change, that's why I win again.

Try again.

You need practice.

BOTH: Gai-bai-bo.

Pah!

Jee!

(LAUGHING)

- Ah!

- Why do all Korean games involve hitting?

Mm-mm-mn.

I'll play.

Uh-oh!

Janet, try to be hero, gonna be zero.

Why don't you do your mouth a favor and let your hand do the talking.

Okay, big word for little girl.

BOTH: Gai-bai-bo!

Gai-bai-bo!

You're winning, Mr. Kim.

Mook!

Mook!

Janet turns a tide.

Pah!

Jee!

Mook!

Boom.

Okay, okay, no big deal.

Gerald, take my flick.

You can't donate a flick.

Yeah, I'm not sure...

Make it count.

Yeah, Gerald, make it count.

Just right...

Ahhh!

My eye!

- You made my hand shake!

- Ahh!

♪ It's got heft, I like it.

Yeah.

Janet give to me when she get new phone, then I get new phone.

So, basically it's a new phone.

(TAPPING)

Don't make 'em like this anymore.

Yeah, it's a phone, not a nutcrack.

Mr. Kim!

I need bottles of your finest energy drink.

We won our game!

Oh!

And we didn't just win, we crushed 'em!

Oh, T-Rex are fighting!

Although I do feel bad for the kids on the other team.

Like I say to my bridge partner, losing builds character.

Too true.

Thanks again for the phone, Mr. Kim.

I'll transfer you the money.

Okay.

Anyway, championships, here we come!

Oh, congratulations and I see you Saturday.

I'm umpire for final game.

Oh!

So, don't expect extra favor.

Please, just because we're facing Jimmy's team?

Well, you and your boyfriend is going head to head.

Have to be fair, no favorite.

Jimmy's not my boyfriend right now.

You take serious!

No, we actually broke up two weeks ago.

Oh.

But this isn't about him, it's about the kids.

They've worked too hard to lose to some smug jerk who always says "just try your best" when you parallel park.

Well, as two-time Umpire of the Year, you know I call it like I see it.

Of course.

I wouldn't expect anything less.

No favouritism.

Though, I suppose I could go see if they have better prices at another store.

I'm kidding!

No favouritism.

♪ So, would you say the clasps are a deal-maker or deal-breaker?

It's an old lady sweater, and it's not Christmas.

So...

maker?

Oh, hey, Mrs. Kim.

Hi, Gerald.

Where you get this?

Clothing swap at Semira's.

You actually took that?

Yeah.

Semira said it was fine, and it looks pretty good.

Maybe it look better on me.

I don't know if that's true but if you want it, you can have it.

You don't want that, Mrs. Kim.

It was Semira's grandmother's.

And now it's hers.

Thank you.

How can you let her do that?

Do what?

Semira's grandmother d*ed in that thing.

Her spirit could still be lingering in it.

Come on, that's pretty dorky.

And what my mom doesn't know can't hurt her.

Can I pull these off?

Like you say, what you don't know can't hurt you.

♪ Then, other team hit grounder, running to first!

Then, Pastor Nina's team pick up ball, throw to second, second base to first base, bang-bang play.

So close, but I see everything.

And runner is...

out!

Wow!

So, the church team won.

Yeah, other coach is so angry yelling at me, calling me name.

Been there.

Pastor Nina so happy.

Kids is so happy.

First time in year church win championship.

(DOOR JINGLING)

But you know, it's just baseball game too.

Hello, Jimmy.

Don't let me interrupt.

Sounds like quite a story.

GERALD: Yeah, pretty exciting.

Though the coach for the other team sounds like a bit of a loser.

- (CLEARING THROAT)

- What?

He's not a loser, usually.

But in this case, due to a controversial play...

Not controversial.

I call it like I see it.

And when you don't see it, you still call it.

I see everything.

Oh, tell that to your service dog.

I don't have a dog.

No, he's suggesting a seeing-eye dog, as if you were blind.

Not even suggesting.

Next time you need a free tune up or oil change, don't call me anymore!

Okay, fine, see you.

Oh, I wish!

(GERALD LAUGHING)

You missed a spot.

♪ (BASKETBALL GAME ON TV, INDISTINCT)

(DOOR OPENING)

Woo!

Boys' night!

Gonna do it right!

(WHISPERING)

Yeah, man.

Okay, one quick thing...

I wasn't sure if we had leftovers so I brought a whole bunch.

You rule, but if we could keep the noise levels to a minimum, that would be even better.

- How?

- Fair question.

So, as it turns out, in addition to boys' night, it's also "babysit Gwen's niece night"!

Is that supposed to be code for something?

Yeah, for babysitting Gwen's niece.

Gwen's working late and her sister's out of town.

I didn't wanna cancel.

For the third time in a row.

Shhh!

Exactly.

But we can still make it fun!

Look, we got b-ball, we got beers!

We got babysitting.

(CRACKING TAB ON CAN)

Wow.

cr*ck that louder next time?

(ANNOUNCER ON TV, INDISTINCT)

(WHISPERING)

Woo!

Yeah, baby!

Oh...

(CLATTERING)

(DOOR OPENING)

Does that mean we can turn it up now?

Are you painting in the new sweater?

New old sweater.

Already so cozy.

(LIGHTS FLICKERING)

Right.

I just don't think of it as a work sweater.

Apparently, it's pretty high end.

Oh, it's fine.

(SINK GURGLING)

Hmm.

Anyway, it might just be a waste to wear the sweater for painting or cleaning...

(PIPES CREAKING)

...or drying?

Janet, you give to me this sweater.

Why do you want back now?

I don't.

Good.

(PIPES CREAKING)

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

(STATIC ON TV)

Um...

okay.

KIMCHEE: Do you want some water?

I know your mom's strict about what you eat.

How about some kale crisps?

I want pizza.

No deal.

Pizza's ours.

It's either the healthy stuff or nothing.

Jung, I got this.

How about we all health it up!

No way.

It's my cheat day!

No kale?

No game.

Can I watch a cartoon?

Yeah, sure.

Let's set you up on my phone.

Can you find your show?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

You got a message from Aunt Gwen.

Uh-huh?

A picture message.

She's wearing no shirt and eating a whole Popsicle in her mouth.

Okay, yup.

You take the TV, we'll watch on my phone.

Absolutely not.

The sooner we give her the TV, the sooner she sleeps.

That's not how TV works!

Dude, stop letting her walk all over you.

Kimtree, I can't hear my show.

Then, go to bed!

Argh!

(CARTOON MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

He gets hangry before dinner.

I think maybe I should take the sweater back.

Just because you call it a Christmas sweater doesn't make it a Christmas sweater.

It turns out it's Norwegian, okay, and very "hygge".

No, Semira's grandmother's sweater, the one with the spirit in it?

I thought you didn't believe in that stuff.

Well, odd things have been happening around the house since we brought it home.

It's probably just a house ghost coincidence.

Oh, hi, Gerald.

You still here?

Just closing up now.

Huh.

Oh!

(LIGHTS FLICKERING)

I wish your mom wouldn't do that.

She didn't.

Oh!

♪ (KNOCKING)

Hey, man, I just wanted to say sorry about the other night.

Yeah, I'm sorry too.

I know it wasn't the night we were hoping for.

But it was funny though, right?

Uh, in what way exactly?

Seeing our parenting styles.

It's crazy how we become our parents.

Oh, yeah, you were totally your mom!

You were all, "Kumbaya, let's avoid conflict!" Well, I don't know about that.

Your mom let us have whatever we wanted.

Yeah, 'cause she was generous.

She was kind of a pushover.

Well, I'd rather have a pushover than a dictator.

Yeah, yeah, my appa was definitely that.

No, I mean you.

With Becca.

Becca's a seven-year-old with basic needs, you're all yelly and angry.

Whoa, whoa, pizza and TV at ten o'clock are not basic needs.

We had to set her straight.

Wow, Ajushee, when did you get here?

Okay, let's just drop it.

And for the record, my mom isn't a pushover, and neither am I.

I'm not saying she wasn't a great mom, she was.

Just some discipline might have been good for you.

Like it was for you?

And your appa?

It's not my fault my appa and I don't get along.

No?

'Cause your umma gets along with him, so does Janet, so do I, so does Shannon.

I guess the only one who doesn't is you.

Staring contest?

Oh, sick, I'm in.

Wow, you guys are good.

MR.

CHIN: I swear, Ginger is like a circus dog now!

Here's one from the park the other day.

I call it "Jump and Turn".

Oh, Yobo, that's you!

I'd recognize that belly anywhere.

Yup.

Mr. Kim was umping the championship game.

Never seen the park so busy.

Wow!

I look so professional.

Yeah, like a real children's umpire.

I just remembered I forgot something in the truck.

I'll send you the link to Ginger's YouTube channel.

I'm up to subscribers.

Some people say I could have been umpire in major league baseball.

You said, just the other day.

(CHUCKLING)

Ah, watch this part, it's so exciting.

I know.

Ginger nails the rollover.

No, final play of game.

(CROWD CHEERING ON VIDEO)

Wait, go back.

Can you do slow-mo?

And voila.

Jump and...

turn...

She was safe?

Of course!

She's just playing up the danger for the camera.

But that's Ginger!

Pastor Nina?

Oh my gosh, Mr. Kim!

Joesonghamnida!

Maybe I come back another time.

No!

No, no!

We were just talking about you.

I mean before...

Anyway...

(CLEARING THROAT)

I owe you an apology.

Okay.

It's just, I behaved badly and was a bit of a sore loser.

Mostly because I don't have a lot of experience losing.

Jimmy.

See, I don't even know I'm doing it.

The loss turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

I'm sorry for all the things I said at your store the other day, and on the field and on your Facebook page.

You write lots of nasty things.

Which I'll retract.

But you're a great umpire and both you and Pastor Nina have reminded me about the importance of humility, by calling it like you see it.

Awww!

So you two is back together.

Yeah, she's the real trophy.

Oh, we've talked about that term.

Sorry.

But look at us going on in front of you, Mr. Kim.

You wanted to talk?

Yeah, I just came to, uh...

ask about Jonah in Bible.

What kind of fish swallow him?

Whale shark, maybe?

I see a catfish on YouTube so big it swallow small person.

Anyway, nice talking.

Okay, see you!

(DOOR CLOSING)

Too many wild pitches to the head?

(LAUGHING)

Jimmy!

Maybe.

♪ (APPLIANCES TURNING ON, STATIC)

Umma?

(INDISTINCT VOICES, STATIC)

Hi.

(ANNOUNCER CLOCK RADIO, INDISTINCT)

What you doing?

(GASPING)

Uh, just...

folding.

I'm going to wash.

Okay, just be careful.

I am going to wash in cold water with same color.

What's your problem?

Okay, the thing is, it's no big deal but Semira's grandmother d*ed.

That's kind of big deal.

Well, yes, but what I'm saying is, and don't be scared, but she d*ed in that sweater.

Oh.

Okay.

And it's just...

Gerald thinks her spirit might still be in it haunting us if we don't treat it right.

(LAUGHING)

You tell Gerald if ghost look like Patrick Swayze, I don't mind.

(LAUGHING)

Ghost...

♪ Ahem!

Found you!

(GIGGLING)

Oh, darn!

You got me!

(GIGGLING)

(RATTLING DOOR)

Ha, good one.

Becca!

No!

Becca, open the door!

Please!

So, you didn't tell them?

Jimmy say they get back together because he lose!

I can't say he win.

So, you lied to your pastor?

Not a lie.

Just protect from ugly truth.

Reminds me of the time Ginger lost her chew toy.

She became so sad, but surprisingly listened more.

Then, I found the toy but didn't tell her.

Until one day, she found I'd been hiding it...

Then, what did she do?

Nothing.

She's a dog.

But the guilt, oh!

"Memory full"?

You told me this phone had huge storage.

Yeah, lots of space.

It's a good phone, almost new.

Candy?

Ooh, cherry.

There he is.

Umpire extraordinaire!

Okay, okay.

You can stop.

JIMMY: No, she's right.

I even retracted my complaint I filed with the league.

You filed complaint against me?

No, I retracted it.

But tell him the good part.

Well, words are fleeting but actions, they mark the measure of a real change and transformation.

We nominated you for Umpire of the Year!

- Whaaa?

- Yes!

Add another plaque to your wall!

(CLEARING THROAT)

You okay?

Yeah, I'm...

ahem, fine.

Oh, well, that's so nice of you.

I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Game's almost done.

How's the phone working out?

Why is your home screen a picture of you?

(RINGING)

Ugh!

My show is ringing.

It's Kimchee.

Yeah, what?

Hey, I know it got a little heated before and I'm sorry about what I said.

Yeah, me too.

It's just different styles, right?

Totally!

That's all it is.

Anyway, you still got a key to our place, right?

'Cause I'm locked out on the balcony. Can't Gwen do it?

Gwen's at work.

I'm watching Becca.

Wait, Becca's out there with you?

No.

She's inside...

coloring.

Oh, my God, Kimch, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

This is why you have to be strict. Hey, Becca!

I'm so serious right now!

(GIGGLING)

Open the door!

'Cause I'm so serious!

I'm getting weaker just listening to you.

Well, we'll be praying for you, Mr. Kim.

And if you ever want to trade in that Kia, let me know.

Yeah, okay!

(CLEARING THROAT)

But, uh, maybe this not my year for award.

Other people deserving, too.

I'm not perfect.

Oh, no one said you were.

All umpire make some mistake.

Some, many.

I make wrong call!

What?

Last play of game, runner was safe.

Then, why didn't you say anything?

Because I only find out after, and because you two seem so happy when you think Jimmy lose.

He's right.

We did find our way back to each other.

In that way, we're all winners.

Oh, I know what you're doing.

- What?

- Oh, you're infuriating.

Just because Mr. Kim is too scared to stand by his call.

I not scared!

- Did he bribe you?

- What?

A Kia trade-in?

Please!

No, I do this for you, and you...

and now, him.

What?

It's a blessing in disguise.

Don't use my words against me.

(SIGHING)

And the nomination?

I think she'll be retracting that, too.

I don't get it.

You were home free, yet you spill your guts like a prison rat.

What?!

Just because you keep clearing your throat and looking at me like that!

Oh, sorry.

It's the cherry candies.

Delicious, but very tart.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Go!

JUNG ON PHONE: Becca, smarten up and open that door right now, or I will cut your stupid little stuffy into pieces and set them on fire.

Ahhhh!

Whoa, a little harsh.

We're sorry!

Yeah, sorry.

Hi.

What's going on?

JUNG: Becca locked him out.

GWEN: Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, no.

Did Becca have these?

I told you not to be slack with her.

JUNG: That's what I said!

♪

I'm so sorry about what happened.

Hopefully, you'll be in a better place soon.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, Sidney's mom.

Oh, thank God!

Her place flooded.

The co-op board is moving her to another unit.

Thanks again for your help!

SIDNEY'S MOM: Oh, and don't forget about the goat's blood or red food coloring's fine, too. You bet.

(PIPES GROANING)

What's going on?

I was right about the sweater.

We disturbed the spirit.

Sidney's mom is Wiccan, says we'll have to dialog with the garment.

It's actually Frank.

What?

FRANK: That's me!

Sorry about that!

Sorry about all the noise.

What a day.

(SIGHING)

But... that should do it!

He's been working on the house.

I upgraded the fuse panel.

Then there was a problem with the water t*nk.

Then, I had to fix the fuse panel flub I made the first time.

I know, it freaked me out too.

I was on the toilet when he came to check the pressure.

I still think that was on you.

(POWER FLICKERING)

But that one's on me.

Good thinking on the candles.

Somebody knows my work.

Excuse me, do you carry Wentworth's orange bicarbonates soda?

All pop is in back fridge.

Got it, thank you!

Snazzy sweater, by the way.

Oh, thank you!

Oh, hi, Janet.

Just sweeping in sweater.

Hope I don't curse the whole store.

Okay, in my defense, I had no idea Frank was doing repairs.

Anyway, the Jesus is protecting us.

You cash out customer, I put away broom.

What customer?

Heh!

Look better on you.

I don't want it!

Umma!

Umma!

I nearly forgot my soup!