06x15 - All Sales Final

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Superstore". Aired: November 2015 to present.
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"Superstore" follows the work lives of employees at a big box store called "Cloud 9".
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06x15 - All Sales Final

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♪ Can I help you with something?

Oh, hi.

Um, it's Amy.

We met, like, a month ago.

I thought I'd show up on the last day and surprise everybody.

That's so nice.

What's the surprise?

Um, just me.

Oh, I thought it would be, like, doughnuts or something.

Amy, it's so good to see you!

Sandra, hi!


What are you doing here?

I wanted to see everybody one last time.

So you're back from California.

That's so great.

Don't worry.

You and Eric can stay in my house as long as you need.

Thank God.

Love you.

So glad you're back.

Welcome home.

Thank you.

It's good to be home.



Glenn, hi.

I am so happy to see you.

I wasn't gonna not say goodbye.

We are so short staffed today.

No, I wasn't planning on Just tell you what.

Grab a vest in the back.

I've got something I gotta We're super light in Grocery.

But the thing is, I had a Just do whatever you can do.

My God, this is like God sent me a literal angel.


Like I said, welcome home.

[upbeat music]

Attention, shoppers.

It's the final day of our liquidation sale before the doors close for good.

Our selection's fairly picked over, but the following items are still available: Irregular ladies' golf shoes size and above, grape scented laundry detergent, and the VHS box set of "Sweet Valley High." What'll Jessica and Elizabeth get into next?

Buy 'em while you can, or else wait a day and fish 'em out of our dumpster.

There she is, back in the blue.

Like I never left.

Hey, I heard the news.

Congratulations, Miss Fulfillment Center Manager.

I haven't told anyone yet.


As soon as it gets out, everyone's gonna start asking me for a job, and Zephra's already filled most of the openings.

I can only keep five people, and it is tougher than I thought it would be.

So there's no one you want to take with you?

No, actually, everyone has their strengths.

You know, Marcus has warehouse experience.

Janet's good under pressure.

Jonah's smart, but I don't even know if he's staying in town since him and Hannah broke up.


- They broke up?

- Yeah.

Uh, why?


I hadn't heard that.

Why did they break up?

You know, I'm not sure.

Why are you so interested?

Because it's interesting.

I mean, all kinds of things are interesting.

You know, lots of things are interesting if you really think about it.


[light music playing over speakers]


retirement, huh?

Got any big plans?

Yeah, I think I might finally watch "The Queen's Gambit." Okay, so that's...

seven episodes.

What else?

Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that.

Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?

Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn?

I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.

No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah.

I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.

Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine.

There's gotta be something that you can do.

Well, what if I got a piece puzzle?

That'd take up some time, right?


What, you want me to get a , piece puzzle?

How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?


Yeah, we could, like, you know... get it Smart time to buy a new washer.

Oh, actually, Bo wants to buy them all.


Yeah, get 'em for mad cheap, then resell them to the suckers, make that scrilla.

What if you can't sell 'em?

Then I open up a laundromat.

Come on, man, think.

Use those glasses.

Well, I guess you have more of a plan than I do since I'm basically unhirable now.

Mm, plight of the undocumented, man, and yet the % and whatnots.

You always know what to say.

Well, you can always come over to our place and do your laundry.

Thanks, Chey.

For a price that is reasonable.

♪ When the dance is through, it's me and you ♪ ♪ Come on, would it really be ♪

- Why is this not what the - [scanner dinging]

Well, well, well...

Little Miss Corporate spent so much time at her cushy desk job, she forgot how a scanner works.

No, I did not.

I just I think this one's broken.

I'm messing with you.

I'm messing with you.

They switched us over to CCDs.

Here, look.

You have to press these two buttons at the same time, and you've gotta get it closer than you did with the lasers.

Got it.

Thank you for the pro tip.

[with bad New York accent]

You know, it's always nice when a, uh, working stiff like me can help out a fancy dame, you know?

You know, I still have no idea what that accent is, and I think it's gotten worse.

Oh, oh, come on, now.

I'm a little rusty, you know?

I haven't done it in a New York minute.

Maybe the accent goes away with the store.


Speaking of which, what are your plans in a post Cloud world?


Uh, well, I mean, I'll grieve, obviously, for the obligatory days.


Me too.

- Full veil and everything.

- Yeah, for sure.

And then, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

I got a lot to figure out, you know, like, am I gonna move back to Chicago or...


I mean, just that Chicago has all that wind, and Hannah's here.

Oh, we broke up.


Oh, no.

- I'm so sorry.

- It's fine.

No, it's...

l mean, we only dated for, like, a month.

Oh, man, that is not long enough.

Well, I had no idea that you two had broken up.

Yes, you did.

I told you they broke up, like, ten minutes ago.

No, you didn't.


No, I didn't tell you that.

It was the other Latina employee, and you all look the same to me because I'm a r*cist, so that's something I should probably work on.


She still thinks Sandra's Latina.

[light jazzy music]

There's balls, and oh, what about boxing as a hobby?

You look great in silk shorts.

I know, but I'm just uncomfortable with the punching.

Well, yeah, there's a lot of punching in it.

Well, what about, uh, fishing?

A lot of retired people like that.

What would be the point?

I can't eat the fish.

His throat's a bone magnet.

You know, Mateo, it's funny.

You're undocumented, and I'm over , and America doesn't want either of us to work anymore.


Right, but...

I'm under constant fear of deportation, and you get discounts at movie theaters, so...

Not new releases.

Wow, must be awful to live in terror of spoilers.

Excuse me.

Ooh, what about grilling?

That could be fun.

Okay, Jerusha, no offense, but you are spiraling right now.

Yeah, I'm hoping I can get another floor supervisor job.

I just bought a ton of clipboards.

What about you, Ames?

Have you thought about what you want to do next?

I mean, I have some interviews lined up.

Turns out, once you've been an executive, it's kind of easy to stay an executive.



Hey, so, um...

how upset was Jonah when I left?

Oh, I'd say...

- pretty upset.

- Pretty upset.

On a scale of to , like...

. .

Solid . .

That makes that makes sense.

You're not thinking about getting back on that merrygoround, are you?

Is this, like, a "you break it, you bought it" situation?

Dina, it's not like that.

No, it's just, once I got out to California, everything just felt...

[exhales heavily]


I don't know, I think I...

I think I made a mistake not marrying Jonah.

Ya think?

I just l can't anymore.

She's been pretty upset too.

Garrett, for the contact list,

- you wrote email@email.email.

- Oh, really?

You too cool to keep in touch with everybody?

I'm just being realistic, man.

Look, we work together, and now we're gonna go work with other people.

I'd rather skip the part where we email for a week trying to plan some fictional group trip.

But we are doing a group trip.

It's either gonna be Kansas City or Tokyo.

Buddy, we're not making it to Applebee's, and we work down the street from Applebee's.

Ugh, love Applebee's.

Okay, any five.

Doesn't matter who.

Let's see.

Here we go.

Oh, oh, God, no.

Nope, not gonna work.

All right.

♪ Hot child in the city ♪

[rock music]

♪ Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty ♪



So I've been meaning to tell you, uh, "The Americans" is really good.

- You watched it.

- I did.

I mean, I watched basically everything.

You know, pandemic.

I kept wanting to text you, but...

Well, I'm glad you liked it.

And, um...

the other thing that I've been wanting to tell you is that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the way I left.

It was...

selfish and awful and Hey, I... we...

I don't...

look, you don't have to apologize to me for not wanting to marry me.


It wasn't even about that.

I just l think that, like, my brain short circuited.

You know, suddenly I had all these options for the first time in my life, and I was like, "Yay, I get to decide what I want, but wait, like, how do I decide what I want?"


Yeah, welcome to the world of privilege.

It's very hard on this side of things.

Why didn't you warn me?

Don't know.

Look, Jonah, I didn't know what I wanted, but I know now, and Amy, I'm happy that you figured it out.

I really, really am.

But I'm not just...

I don't know, I'm not just something you can schedule for whenever you're free, you know?

I'm sorry, but I just I don't know what I want anymore.


Um, if you figure it out...

Let me know.

♪ Sometimes it feels like ♪ ♪ It's all moving way too fast ♪

Excuse me.

Um, where would I find nutmeg?


Well, that's aisle ,

- right over there.

- Aisle .

Okay, thank you so much for your help.

- You're so welcome.

- Uh...

the coronavirus.


Have a heavenly day.

Okay, thanks, okay.

You a big spice guy?

That man might be my last customer ever.

It's so sad.


Yeah, we're all I'm gonna miss this.

You know, I thought I had a few more good years left in me.

You know, my dad, he worked at our hardware store till he was .

I thought I'd do the same, but...

it's just so unfair.


If you don't want to retire, then don't.

No one's making you stop working.

- Hey, Mat - [scoffs]

[light music playing over speakers]

♪ Hey, everyone!

I'm not gonna retire.

Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna get a new job or maybe even reopen Sturgis & Sons Hardware, though I I have to check with Jerusha, because, you know, it's a very big commitment.

I think it's a great idea!

Hey, guys, good news.

Jerusha's in.

You okay?


I'm the new fulfillment center manager, but I can only keep five employees, and I can't make up my mind.

When I have a tough decision to make, I like to spend a Sunday on the bus.

Pack a little lunch, and just bus on it.

Ah, Sandra, I can't get sucked into your bleak life, okay?

Zephra needs a list now.



Yeah, that's it.


Why the "AM" next to your name?

'Cause I'm your assistant manager.

[marker clatters]


If that's okay with you.

I don't want to be presumptuous.

No, you're in.

I was going for, like, a...

cool, badass moment.

Yeah, I got that.


Yeah, you don't need to do okay, you did.

- [marker clatters]

- All right.

This is probably the last time I'm ever gonna clean up slushie vomit.

Oh, can you take a picture?




Look, I don't get it.

We work in a big, dumb, ugly store, and everybody's acting like they're Jordan walking off the court for the last time.

Aw, your last slushie vomit.

Come on.

Look at this.

I was cleaning out my office, and I found these old tapes of everyone's job interviews.

- Ooh.

- Wait, I don't remember did you secretly record our job interviews?

Yeah, but, you know, just so I'd have proof in case someone accused me of not hiring them unless they did me sexual favors.

I mean, Pastor Craig was falsely accused times by women and men.

♪ Time to bring this ship ♪ ♪ Into the shore ♪ ♪ And throw away the oars ♪


Jesus seizes cheeses.


Jesus seizes cheeses.

I don't know if I've ever seen her videos.

Hi, you must be Amy.

- Damn, Amy, you were hot.

- Thank you.

- Boner alert.

- Dude, she's a teenager.

Yeah, but I was a teenager then, too, so it's not weird.

So glad I came back for this.

- Yeah.

- Um, once you've worked here

for a year, it starts to get good.

Oh, um, thank you so much, but actually,

I'm going to college in the fall,

so I'm only planning to be here a few months.

months, to be exact.

Oh, young Amy, with your big, big dreams and your tiny, tiny pores.

They were so tiny.


No, please, go ahead.

- [laughter]

- Oh, my God.

You worked at The Spaghetti Factory?

I go there all the time.

Wait a minute, I know you.

Fettuccine Alfredo, side of grilled cheese,

three glasses of juice.

- That's incredible.

- Yeah.

Aw, you guys used to get along.

I also worked in the bird department at Petco.

Oh. God, you know, I don't get how people

can keep birds as pets.

They're disgusting.

- Rats with feathers.

- Uhhuh.

Let's move on.

Okay, well, um...

Hey, here's what you need to know about Garrett McNeill.


Oh, my God.

That guy's handsome.

Am I hard on myself?


but I call it taking the job seriously.



I give a good interview.

What can I say?

Why do you want to work at Cloud ?

Um, actually, I already work here.

You hired me two weeks ago.

I don't think so.

I think I'd remember that.

You gave me one of these.

I'm so sorry.

It's just that you've got such a forgettable face, you know?

- I know.

- I think you'd make a great spy, though.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

♪ I cut my hair ♪

[rock music]

♪ You might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care ♪ ♪ 'Cause I can tell what's going on ♪ ♪ It's hip to be ♪

And so we were in line at Claire's...

Oh, my goodness.


My purple hair thingy.

Corona was like, "You eat it."

And I was like, "Nah, girl, that is narsty."

You eat it."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is our current floor supervisor.

I know, right?

Life is nuts.

I don't know if I should say anything,

but there's a Scott Baio wannabe waiting outside,

and I heard him tell his meth dealer

- that he just wants to rob the place.

- Hey, um, when the store closes, do you want to... keep hangin' and bangin', like, as my boyfriend?





Tell me more about you.

I just want to say

that if you give me the chance,

I will work harder

than anyone you know.

I will literally dig through concrete

with my bare hands

until they're bloody stumps

and I have to do stuff with my feet.

You know, I could use a hard worker like that at Sturgis & Sons.



Thank you.

Should we do, like, denim or leather aprons?

Denim, right, like, a raw denim?


I love it.

I love it.

It's more my color.

[light music]

Jonah Simms.

Wow, you have had a lot of jobs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I worked at a consulting firm

for a few months

and then an ad agency for six weeks.

I sold gym memberships.

I was a barista, a tour guide.

I went to business school for a semester,

but now I'm just at a place in my life

where I really want to change.

You know, I just want to spend a couple months

just not using my brain.



All right, yeah, I know.

I get it.

I know.

I can't listen to myself either, so enjoy.

- [laughs]

- All right, all right.

- Use your brain?

- No, no, I mean,

it's not just that.

It's you know,

when you think about it, a store like this

is actually pretty incredible, you know?

You help people do their homework

and find their styles

and feed their grandchildren.

You know, there's magic in that.

I don't know, people always talk about going out

and finding something special,

but, you know, maybe we don't have to look that hard.

You know, maybe everything is special.

How many jobs have you had?


Not including paper routes and babysitting or whatever, how many actual jobs?

Too many to count.

, ?

Yeah, you never stick with anything.

Except this.

You've been here six years.


I don't know.

It's a good job.

No, it's not.

It's a terrible job.

It's not that bad.

Jonah, why did you stay here?

Why do you think, Amy?

You know, when I first met you, I thought you were the most annoying person I'd ever met, with your "moments of beauty," "seize the day" crap like you'd watched "d*ad Poets Society" too many times.

Shows what you know.

You can't watch "d*ad Poets Society" too many times.

I hated how cheesy you were.

I hated how woke you were.

I hated how often you used the word "artisan." But most of all, I hated how you believed that life could be better than it was.

And yet here we are.

And my life is so much better than it was...

because of you.

And I...

I screwed it all up.

I know that.

[poignant music]

But you waited six years for me, so if I have to wait an ♪ I'm sorry, it's just, you were talking so much.

I didn't know what to do.

Excuse me.


Does the "cup" in "menstrual cup" refer to, like, the shape or the volume?

Have to say, I always thought when they shut this place down, it would be because of something you did.


- Me too.

- [Chuckles]


Take care of the old gal, will you?

I will.

Attention, shoppers.

Please bring your final purchases up to checkout, 'cause this store is about to close forever.

On behalf of everyone here at Cloud , I'd just like to say...

buh bye.

[chuckles softly]

♪ Sorry, that shouldn't be the last thing I say.

... years of announcements.

I mean, I'm not a sentimental guy.

But it did just occur to me that this is...

this is the end.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

It's a job.

If jobs were fun, they wouldn't pay us to do it.

But occasionally there were moments that...

weren't so bad.

And for whatever reason,

those are...

the only things I can remember right now.

You know, most jobs suck

% of the time.

So you really...

really gotta enjoy those moments that don't...

Are we Sturgis & Friends?

Both: No!

Those bits of fun you have during downtime...

- Are we Sturgis & Sons?

- Both: Yes!

All right, let's get to work.

Or an interesting conversation with a coworker...

For the lab.


Or something happens

that you can laugh about later...

Oh, that's a picture of my honeymoon.

Sorry about that.

Or you do something

that you're actually proud of.

Looking great, guys.

Keep up the good work.

If you're lucky, maybe you even get to be friends

with a coworker or two along the way.

Not sure what else you could want in a job.

♪ - How did you do this?

- With my mouth!

♪ Oh, my God.

Look at that.

I know.

♪ Love you.

- They're asleep.

- Both of them?

- Yeah.

- Nice.

♪ At any rate...

thank you for shopping with us.

Cloud is now closed.

♪ ♪ You see the moon is bright ♪ ♪ In that treetop night ♪ ♪ I see the shadows that we cast ♪ ♪ In the cold, clean light ♪ ♪ Now my feet are gold ♪ ♪ And my heart is white ♪ ♪ And we race out on the desert plains ♪ ♪ All night ♪ ♪
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