INTENSIVE CARE -- HALL / NURSES' STATION
J.D. and Turk run through in slow motion.
J.D.'s Narration: Life in a hospital is never boring.
Carla: What the hell are you guys doing?
Turk: Practicing our slow motion run.
J.D.: Makes everything seem more dramatic.
Carla: You're doctors. Doctors.
Turk: Baby?
J.D.: Go get her, Turk!
Turk: [slow-motion] Waaaaaaiiiiit!
J.D.: Oh, he's slow.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Time to go see my favorite patient, Mr. Gregory Marks. He may need a new kidney, but he sure as hell doesn't need a new heart.
Mr. Marks: Hey, I bought you a present.
J.D.: Oh, my God, a journal!
Mr. Marks: Well, you seem like the kind of sensitive young buck that likes to chronicle his feelings.
J.D.'s Thoughts: I can't wait to chronicle this one! Oh God!
J.D.: I gotta tell you, Mr. Marks -- even though I know you'd never take it, I'd give you one of my kidneys in a second.
Mr. Marks: Oh, no, I would definitely take it! I would take it with my bare hands.
J.D.: Awesome. Well...let me check your chart and s-see if we're a match!
J.D.'s Thoughts: Please don't be a match! Please don't be a match! Blood type O! Not a match! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!
J.D.: [sensitive doctor voice] I'm so sorry.
CAFETERIA
Elliot and Turk are in line.
Elliot: Do you have chocolate cake today?
Cafeteria Worker: Nope.
Elliot: Oh. Isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day!
Turk: Elliot, relax; I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh, right, 'cause you're diabetic. Boo-hoo! You know what, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
Turk: Wow!
Elliot: Oh my God, I am so sorry. I'm just having the worst day.
Turk: It's no biggie. [holds up cross] Forgive and forget, right?
Elliot laughs gratefully. Turk responds with a good-natured laugh of his own.
Turk: [to cross] Please get her.
Elliot: I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.
Carla: Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.
They look over at Jordan's table, where she's holding up her keys to a security guard.
Jordan: [helpless girly voice] Could you move my car out of the sun? If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.
The guy grabs the keys and takes off in a flash.
Jordan: Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.
Elliot: Hm. Very classy.
Jordan: Don't judge me, stick. You do what you have to do to level the playing field.
Elliot: Well, Carla and I would never behave that way.
A slice of chocolate cake is delivered to Carla.
Carla: Thank you.
Elliot: How'd you get chocolate cake? He said they didn't have any!
Carla: Oh. I just did like this [thrusts cleavage] and said, "Got cake?"
Elliot: This is ridiculous! You can't just get cake by going like this: [presses chest forward] Mmm?
A slice of cake is dropped in front of her.
===
HALL / NURSES' STATION
Dr. Cox walks through, passing J.D.
Dr. Cox: Hello, Heather.
J.D.: You will never guess what I found on the computer!
Dr. Cox: Is it a set of adult male shoulders?
J.D.: They had to trim them to get me out of that well.
Dr. Cox: Oh, right.
J.D.: Anyway, know Mr. Marks? He said he doesn't have any family to be a kidney donor? But he's got a son! We gotta find this guy!
Dr. Cox: Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself. Like, say, he's got a son. Or he's 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover? [taps J.D.'s journal]
J.D.: Ah, that's a horse with a sword on his head, and he's there to guard my hopes and dreams.
Dr. Cox: Come on, if the guy didn't tell you about his son, I'm sure he had a pretty good reason. You know, you always do this -- you get too involved in your patients' lives. And just exactly how does that usually work out for ya?
***FLASHBACK: ROOM
J.D. is handcuffed to the radiator.
J.D.: Eventually someone's gonna miss me, Jerry!
He reacts to the unseen Jerry.
J.D.: Oh, God, no.
BACK TO PRESENT***
J.D.: He made me watch 'Everwood'.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, yeah. Look, Claudia: Just promise me you won't get too involved with your patient. Okay?
Cut to...
RURAL ROAD
J.D. zooms along on his scooter.
J.D.'s Narration: After getting more involved, I found out Mr. Marks's son was an air-traffic controller at a small private airport.
Cut to...
AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM
Murray the air-traffic controller is watching 'Wings' on TV as J.D. enters.
Wings' Joe: Come on, Brian, I don't wanna do this--
Wings' Brian: Relax, will you? Relax. We're gonna put her on the speakerphone, if you don't like the sound of her voice, she's history.
Murray: I'll tell you something about 'Wings' -- they really got it right.
J.D.: Excuse me, are you Murray Marks?
Murray: I'm busy.
J.D.: You don't look busy.
Speaker: Tower, this is flight 117. We've lost an engine.
Murray: Yeah, you're right. I'm not busy.
J.D.: You can take that.
Murray: No, no, no. Let's talk.
Speaker: Oh, God! We've lost the other engine!
J.D.: Take it! TAKE IT!
Murray: Okay. Pull up, 117. Pull up.
There's nothing but static.
Murray: Hello?
Static.
Murray: Hello?
Static.
Murray: We lost 'em.
So what was your thing?
J.D.: Shouldn't you call the fire department or something!?!
Murray: Nah, nah. That was just Mickey fooling around.
Mickey: Hey.
Murray: This is a tiny airport, we get like one airplane a day.
Mickey buzzes around J.D. with his arms out.
Mickey: [airplane noise] I'm a pretty airplane! Board me! [airplane noise]
Murray: He's a little off.
J.D.: He smells like fuel.
Murray: He's an airplane.
===
OPENING THEME
COMMERCIALS
===
HOSPITAL -- ADMISSIONS(?)
J.D. and Murray are talking.
Murray: I'm not quite sure I'm getting this.
J.D.: Ugh! What's not to get? Look, Dr. Cox told me not to get involved, I defied him, and now, with your help, I'm gonna rub it in his face, okay? Now for the last time, the song goes like this: [singing] "You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I found his son!"
And then you jump out and go, "That's me!"
Murray: Yeah, but--okay, but wouldn't it be funnier if I came on the second "I found his son," just to get to it?
J.D.: Yeah, that would be a whole lot funnier. But I have a question: Who's gonna be singing the "I found his son" song? Because it certainly won't be me! Okay?
Here he comes.
He pushes Murray out of sight as Dr. Cox approaches.
Murray: Whoa!
J.D.: Dr. Cox...? [singing] You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I f--
Murray: That's meeee!
Dr. Cox continues through without a reaction.
Murray: Too early?
J.D.: We rehearsed this!
Murray: We were on your scooter.
J.D.: Gah!
Cut to...
I.C.U.
Dr. Cox and J.D. watch through the observation window as Murray approaches his father.
J.D.: Reunion time. This is gonna be great.
Murray clears his throat to wake his father.
Mr. Marks: Mm? Murray?
Murray: Before you say anything, I just want you to know if you need a kidney, you can have mine.
J.D.: [whispering] See?
Murray: For seventy thousand dollars!
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
===
NURSES' STATION
Elliot approaches Franklyn the Lab-Tech.
Jordan, Carla and Turk are also there.
Elliot: Franklyn. I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinalysis? Because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year.
Franklyn: No. We're done talking now.
Carla: Elliot. We can help.
Turk: No! No. You will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator. I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie. But in here she's an asexual mess. And that's the natural order of things. And you don't mess with the natural order!
He leaves. Carla reaches for a band to put her hair up.
Carla: Elliot, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
Elliot: Look, I will try anything. I just don't want to compromise who I am. Eh?
Jordan: Sweetie, you won't have to do that! Sure, if it's something really important, you might have to occasionally sleep with someone. [chuckles] That's how I hooked up with Perry -- needed a pen.
Carla: You won't have to compromise yourself. It's all about subtlety. It's...a lingering smile --
She and Jordan demonstrate.
Carla: -- a chuckle at a bad joke --
Jordan chuckles.
Carla: -- a look in your eye that says, "If you do what I want maybe something will happen between us, even though you know it never will...."
Carla and Jordan turn their heads towards each other and demonstrate their promising look.
Elliot approaches Franklyn again.
Elliot: Franklyn, if you analyze this urine sample right now, then maybe I'll have sex with you, but probably not.
No effect (shocker). Franklyn leaves.
Elliot throws up her hands.
Carla: So close.
Murray and J.D. walk through.
Follow to...
HALL
J.D.: All right, we--what's the problem with your dad?
Murray: Well, for starters, he named me "Murray." That's an old man's name!
J.D.: Oh, come on, no it isn't!
Murray: MURRAY!
Several old guys stick their heads out of their rooms and go, "Whaaat?"
When all that happens is an "I told you so" look from Murray, they go back in.
Murray: Everything my father's ever done was designed to humiliate me.
He turns and starts to walk off.
J.D.: Murray!
Again, the old guys come out. "Whaaaaaat?"
Murray: What.
J.D.: No, the youngest Murray!
They all go back in but one.
Old Murray: I'm sixty-eight!
Murray: Thirty-four!
Old Murray shouts something incoherently argumentative and goes back in his room.
Follow to...
I.C.U.
They head towards Mr. Marks's room.
Murray: You don't know what it was like having him as a father. He had me in his shadows my whole life. He actually sang at my senior prom. My date threw her panties on the stage -- first and last time I saw them, by the way.
Whenever I'm around the guy I'm invisible.
J.D.: Oh, come on, you're exaggerating.
They arrive to find Mr. Marks the center of attention as he sits up in his bed, playing guitar and singing to the staffers gathered around.
Mr. Marks: [singing] Heeeey, good lookin'! Whaaaa'cha got cookin'? How's about cookin' something up with me!
Murray: See what I mean?
J.D.: Shhh! I love this song.
One of the staffers tosses her panties at Mr. Marks when he finishes.
Mr. Marks: Ooooh. Thank you!
They laugh and applaud.
===
HALL / NURSES' STATION
Franklyn walks through singing "Hey, Good Lookin'" in...Chinese, I'm assuming.
Elliot arrives.
Elliot: Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!
Jordan: Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!
Carla: Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you.
Jordan: Exactly!
J.D. arrives.
J.D.: I can't keep my kidney guy's son from leaving.
Carla: Elliot will help.
Elliot gives her a panicked look as Murray approaches.
Carla: You can do this!
She pushes Elliot over to the man.
Elliot: Hi, I'm Elliot.
Murray: Hi, I'm Murray.
Elliot: Hi, I'm Elliot.
[turns to Carla and Jordan, hissing] I'm f*ring blanks, here!
In an act of quick thinking, Jordan reaches into her coffee cup and splashes Elliot on the breast.
Elliot: Frick! These are my favorite scrubs! Is it a bad stain?
She rubs at the wet spot, utterly hypnotizing Murray.
Murray: No. That's a good stain. That's a very good stain. That's my favorite stain ever.
She turns back victorious.
Elliot: I did it!
Jordan: She has nice breasts.
Carla: They're real.
Jordan: Yeah, right.
J.D.: No, they are.
Jordan: They're not.
===
CAFETERIA
J.D. and Murray are at a table.
Murray: I can't believe you got cake! The guy said they didn't have any.
J.D.: Just do what I told you to do.
Murray stretches, pushing his chest out.
A cafeteria worker, Glen, delivers a piece of cake to him.
Glen: [effeminate] Sweets for the sweet.
Murray: Thank you...Glen.
J.D.: Look, Murray, it doesn't matter that your father's handsome and charismatic and sings like a young Joan Baez. He's your flesh and blood, and you gotta step up.
Murray: Look, you obviously have some issues with your own father that you're projecting on to me. So why don't you go ahead and give him a jingle?
J.D.: He's dead.
Murray: [chuckling] Good stuff!
J.D.: No, I'm serious.
Murray: [chuckling] Classic!
J.D.: He had like a massive heart att*ck.
Murray: [awkward] I'm sorry for your loss.
J.D.: Now, about the kidney....
Murray: I wish I could fly my plane right now. I always like to fly it when I have to make a big decision.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Make the "flesh and blood" argument again but in a different way.
J.D.: Blood and flesh, Murray.
Murray: I'll do it!
J.D.'s Thoughts: Jackpot!
Murray stretches again, and another piece of cake lands in front of him.
Murray: Yawning, Glen!
J.D.: One for the road, Glen?
J.D. stretches, and another piece of cake is dropped in front of him.
J.D.: Thanks! Happy weekend!
===
FIRST FLOOR HALL
Elliot and Turk walk through.
Turk: Elliot, did you talk Franklyn into doing your patient's urinalysis before mine?
Elliot: No, I just told him I lost my voice and had to whisper in his ear...[whispering]...like this.
Turk: Careful, Elliot.
Elliot: Oh, come on, what harm could come from a little flirting?
She demonstrates by stroking the mopping Janitor's cheek as they pass.
The Janitor reacts by dropping his mop right there and taking off. He jumps into his van and tears out of the parking lot.
Cut to...
JEWELER
The Janitor examines the merchandise in the case.
Janitor: Ah! I wanna see that engagement ring.
Jeweler: That costs ten thousand dollars.
Janitor: I got twelve bucks.
Cut to...
HOSPITAL -- ADMISSIONS
Turk walks along and trips, falling over the dropped mop.
He hops up again and goes over to the front desk, where Carla is.
Carla: You okay?
Turk: Yeah, why?
You have created a monster. Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.
Carla: So she used her femininity! The only reason you usually get your lab-work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball, even though he always sh**t his foul sh*ts granny-style. [demonstrates the move]
Turk: This is different.
Over at the gift shop, Elliot cuts in line.
Guy: Excuse me.
Turk: This is gonna cause problems.
Elliot briefly acknowledges the guy she cut in on.
Elliot: Oh, I'll just be a sec.
[then, to gift shop guy in a sultry voice] Dave, can I get an orange soda? I'm so hot and thirsty.
Dave: [producing a soda] It's on me.
She giggles and takes her soda, blowing him a kiss.
Guy: I'd like an orange soda too.
Dave: Oh, I'm sorry, that was the last one. How sad.
The guy angrily picks up his briefcase and goes over to the front desk.
Guy: That's the way female doctors around here behave, I hope the young lady I'm interviewing is a different breed. Do either of you know where I can find Dr. Elliot Reid?
Turk laughs at Carla.
J.D.'s Narration: "I told you so" moments are rare. So when they come, you have to savor them.
Meanwhile...
HALL
Dr. Cox breathlessly approaches J.D.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Newbie! The good news is that Murray and his dad are a match, kidney-wise. The better news is that the test revealed a little secret you're gonna wanna share with your new pal. Gregory is not Murray's biological father!
J.D.: Oh, no.
Dr. Cox: By the by? This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments. [chuckles]
J.D.: Dammit!
===
COMMERCIALS
===
OUTSIDE -- BENCH
J.D. sits there with his journal.
J.D.'s Narration: I couldn't decide whether I should tell Murray his dad wasn't his dad. Luckily hospitals are full of supportive colleagues eager to help.
Dr. Kelso is sitting next to him.
Dr. Kelso: Go tell that little bastard this second, before he coughs a kidney up to his fake father and sues this hospital!
Write that down in your little unicorn book.
J.D.: Uh, actually, sir, it's a horse with a sword on his head.
***FANTASY: The cartoon unicorn comes to life.
Unicorn: [J.D.'s voice, high-pitch] You know I'm a unicorn. Why can't you just say it?
BACK TO REALITY***
Dr. Kelso: What are you going to do, son?
J.D.: [unicorn voice] Well, Dr. Kels-- [clears throat] Well, Dr. Kelso, I'm just gonna tell him. Murray's got a good heart, and he'll do the right thing.
Cut to...
SEMI-PRIVATE ROOM
Murray is getting his preliminary tests, where J.D. has just told him the news.
Murray: I'm outta here!
He takes off.
J.D.: Murray!
The Old Murray from earlier sits up in the next bed.
Old Murray: Whaaat?
J.D.: Not you, Old Murray!
===
NURSES' STATION
Carla briefs Jordan and Turk on the situation.
Carla: Okay! I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient. Now. How we gonna fix this thing?
The Janitor pops up from behind the counter, causing Turk to gasp in surprise.
Janitor: You're okay.
The guy wanted an orange soda, right? We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.
Carla: Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy. Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Janitor: I will.
He leaves, pulling a ring box out of his pocket.
Follow to...
HALL
He gets down on one knee and holds out the ring as Elliot passes. She doesn't even notice and walks on by.
Janitor: [to ring] Dammit! I told you to sparkle!
===
RURAL ROAD
J.D. is leaning on his parked scooter, talking on his phone.
J.D.: He says he clears his head by flying his plane. But I went to his airport? He doesn't have a plane there! What should I do?
CAFETERIA
Dr. Cox is on his phone.
Dr. Cox: Who gave you this number?
RURAL ROAD
J.D.: Come on, I'm really asking for your help here.
CAFETERIA
Dr. Cox: Yeah, but, it's very important we focus on the whole "who gave you this number" issue.
RURAL ROAD
J.D.: Fine! Maybe I got too involved like you said. But would it k*ll you for once to acknowledge that my heart is in the right place instead of spending all your time berating me?
CAFETERIA
Dr. Cox: You got the number from Jordan, didn't you. She hates me.
RURAL ROAD
J.D.: You've been great as usual. [hangs up]
Dammit, Murray! What corner of the sky are you and your plane hiding in!?
Foo Fighters' "Learn to Fly" comes up as a red biplane soars overhead. In the nearby field, Murray stands with the radio controller in hand.
J.D.: There you are! Hi, buddy!
He waves.
Murray: [waving] Hey...!
Murray chases J.D. down with the plane.
Murray: Ohh, ohh! I'm a doctor! I'm a doctor! Everything can't get to me!
J.D. hits the dirt as the plane flies low, it turns and crashes behind a small hill, producing a large fireball.
J.D.: What an odd sized expl*si*n.
The song ends.
===
NURSES' STATION
Elliot arrives.
Carla: Elliot, your interviewer called, he's running late. Would you take Turk somewhere for me?
Elliot: Where?
More quick thinking from Jordan, who spots a newspaper.
Jordan: Oh. The, uh, honey festival!
Elliot: Oh my God! Is that back in town?
Carla: Sure is! And Turk would love to go with you.
Elliot: You would?
Carla gives him a convincing look.
Turk: Yes. I love large groups of white people eating pollen.
Elliot squeals excitedly as they leave.
Cut to...
HONEY FESTIVAL
A small crowd of honey lovers are gathered around an outdoor stage.
Emcee: On behalf of the honey festival, I would like to thank our two volunteers: Our taster, Elliot...
The small crowd claps as Elliot eats a spoonful of honey.
Emcee: And of course, Christopher, the human honeycomb.
Turk stands frozen, covered head to shin in bees.
Turk: I thought you meant the cereal! Ow. Ow!
===
AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM
J.D. enters to find Murray b*ating some equipment with a tennis racket.
J.D.: Can I talk to you for a second?
Speaker: Tower, are you there? I lost an engine!
J.D.: I'm not falling for that crap again!
Murray: This is real! Mickey's not here.
Speaker: Oh, God! I lost another engine!
Murray: Calm down, Frank. You left your engines in the storage shed.
Speaker: Oh, there they are! Thanks, Murray.
Murray: It's what I do.
J.D.: Anyhoo, what do you think your dad is doing right now?
Murray: He's not my dad, he's my fake dad. Which means what my fake cousin Samantha and I almost did in the tenth grade would have been beautiful...and right.
J.D.: Been there with my gram-gram....
All right, fine, what do you think Gregory's doing right now?
Murray: Probably playing his stupid guitar.
Meanwhile...
MR. MARKS'S ROOM
Dr. Cox sits next to the man, who is indeed strumming his guitar as he talks.
Mr. Marks: Ah, so maybe I wasn't the perfect dad. I mean, there were the occasional missed baseball games.... And the taking of his college sweetheart to the Bahamas for two weeks without telling him.... But I still don't see why he resents me this much.
Dr. Cox: Boy, tell me about it. You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face.
Mr. Marks: Do you wanna sing about him?
Dr. Cox: No. Not ever.
Meanwhile...
AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM
J.D. sits next to Murray, who's vaguely strumming his tennis racket.
J.D.: Sometimes Dr. Cox is all over me, like every second of my life.
Murray: Why do you keep talking about your boss like he's your father?
J.D.: Remember? Recently deceased dad?
Murray: Massive heart att*ck!
J.D.: Yes! I mean, yes.
Meanwhile...
MR. MARKS'S ROOM
Dr. Cox: You do know he's not yours, don'cha.
Mr. Marks: I figured it out.
Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her. But there were other signs.
Dr. Cox: 'Course.
Mr. Marks: But his real dad was such a jerk we just decided not to tell him.
A boy needs a father who loves him, you know?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.
===
NURSES' STATION
Carla and Jordan are trying to keep things together as Elliot storms back in.
Carla: Elliot! What are you doing here?
Elliot: My interviewer called my cell phone. He has been waiting to talk to me!
Jordan takes up questioning the lagging Turk.
Jordan: What the hell?
Turk: Woman, I was covered in bees!
Elliot charges towards the room holding her interviewer.
Carla: Elliot, wait!
Elliot, you did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there, and now, well, he kinda thinks you're this despicable floozy ho excuse for a doctor.
Elliot: Oh. Um...well, then I will just explain it to him. It'll be fine.
She goes in. Before the door can really even click shut behind her, it opens again and the interviewer st*lks out.
Elliot: Wait! Sir, just hear me out! It-- UGH!
Turk: Ladies. I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan: That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Turk: [hissing] I was covered in bees!
Their attention is suddenly drawn down the hall, where the Janitor stops the interviewer.
Carla: Oh my God, he's actually giving him an orange soda.
The interviewer takes the soda, and gives Elliot a thumb's up.
He continues on, and Janitor comes over to an impressed and grateful Elliot.
Elliot: What happened?
Janitor: He's gonna reconsider you.
Elliot: How'd you do that?
***FLASHBACK: MOMENTS BEFORE
The Janitor talks to the interviewer.
Janitor: Hey, buddy. I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor. And I'm gonna tell you why. See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor? And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh -- [the guy looks over at Elliot] hey, over here -- I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or...gab across the fence with neighbor Marge. Nice lady. Polish, I think. Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice.
Interviewer: What the hell are you talking about?
Janitor: Here's the thing: I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile, and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up! Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda, follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it.
The guy pointedly takes the soda, puts down his briefcase, and gives the thumb's up.
BACK TO PRESENT***
Janitor: We...talked about your future.
===
I.C.U.
Murray and J.D. stand looking in the observation window of Mr. Marks's room.
Murray: I don't know if I can go through with this. I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
Dr. Cox comes up behind them.
Dr. Cox: Hey, jerk-hole.
J.D.
& : Yeah?
Murray
Dr. Cox: No, new jerk-hole! Now, no matter what you think of that guy in there, he always knew he wasn't your father but he stayed in the game anyway. So how's about you get your selfish ass in there.
Murray: [cowed] Okay.
He goes in. Dr. Cox and J.D. watch.
Murray: Hey.
Mr. Marks: Hey.
Murray: So, I got this extra kidney I'm not using.
Mr. Marks: Are you sure?
Murray: Yeah.
Mr. Marks: You know I love you, right?
Murray: Yeah, I know you do. I love you too, dad.
Mr. Marks starts to play his guitar.
Mr. Marks: [singing] Child arrived just the other day --
Murray: Dad.
Mr. Marks: [singing] -- came into the world in the usual way.
Murray: Dad. Dad!
The man stops singing.
J.D.'s Narration: In a hospital, it's easy to take things too far. Still, sometimes you have to go too far to see where the line is.
Meanwhile...
NURSES' STATION
Elliot comes up to Franklyn with e urine sample in hand.
Elliot: Please, Franklyn?
Franklyn: Oh, okay. [takes the jar] Come with me, little friend.
Elliot: [smiling] Huh!
J.D.'s Narration: As for me...
Meanwhile...
I.C.U.
Mr. Marks sings and plays his guitar for Murray.
Mr. Marks: [singing] Hey, good lookin'! Whaa'cha got cookin'...
He continues singing and is drowned out by...
J.D.'s Narration: ...Maybe I got too involved with Murray and his fake real dad. But as I watched Gregory serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realized something.
Mr. Marks: [singing] Heeey, sweet baby! Dooon'cha think maybe...
He continues singing and is drowned out by...
J.D.'s Narration: If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him, maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank-you for the same thing.
J.D. turns to the Nurses' Station, where Dr. Cox is going over a chart.
J.D.: Hey. I just wanted to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem.
Dr. Cox: My pleasure.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Now wrap it all up with a slow motion hand wave.
He does so.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh, I'm slooooow, baby.