Mr. Wayne.
My card.
Pennyworth Security.
I'm trying to build a nice business so I can settle down and have kids.
su1c1de missions are not part of the plan.
Alfie... you have forgotten who you are.
You are SA f*cking S.
Hey, sit down, Spanish.
The No-Name League are fools who want to overthrow the government and set up a socialist utopia.
For the Raven Society, they're lunatics who want to overthrow the government to set up a fascist utopia.
Who is the leader of the Raven Society?
I'm the leader.
Send Lord Harwood to... the barbers.
They're to keep him alive.
But break him.
What does your father do?
He's a vicar of Salisbury.
Well, then why haven't I met your old man yet?
'Cause he's bloody tedious.
Will you marry me?
Yes. Yes, I will.
What's happened to Bet Sykes?
We've had no word.
You don't need to worry about her.
Well, I am worried.
She's hanging under a hood for the Longbrass m*rder next bank holiday.
No!
Well...
I'll be off.
It was a pleasure to meet you, my lord.
You played a... thankless innings with a damn straight bat, if I may say so.
That's kind of you.
Tell the prime minister I have seen his last days coming.
For every ounce of blood I spill, he will pay tenfold.
The nation will rise in my name, and he will die in hellish torment. You tell him.
Will-will you... will you tell him that?
You tell him!
The country... will rise in my name!
True what they say.
You really can have too much fun.
My go, Alfie.
I, uh...
I'm fresh as a daisy.
Shh, shh.
Sounded like a jeep.
Every bastard's got jeeps.
Fall in, you useless f*cking shower!
Mr. Pennyworth, Your Worship.
Alfred. Sir.
Thank you.
I hope you don't mind orange pekoe.
Uh, no, sir.
So, young man... we meet at last.
Well...
I've gleaned one or two snippets about you from my, uh, daughter, but you must tell me about yourself, Alfred.
Well, I'm-I'm 26.
Born in Poplar.
My father's a butler.
Go on.
I spent ten years in the army.
Out East, mostly.
Demobbed last year.
I run my own security business.
You make no mention of your emotional life.
Church of England, sir.
No funny business.
I'm glad to hear it.
I was thinking of Esme.
I'm very much in love with Esme, sir.
That's why I'm here.
To request your permission to marry her.
If she'll have me, sir.
Ten years in the army, eh?
Changes a man, I should think.
Hardens him.
Brutalizes him.
It can do that.
But a man can keep changing, don't you think, sir?
That's my plan, anyway.
With Esme's support, I hope.
A woman's love is indeed the great engine of our salvation.
The mirror of his grace.
Tell me, Alfred, have you fathered a child on my daughter?
No, sir.
Well, there's a blessing at any rate.
Esme is my only child.
So much like her dear mother.
Such a graceful, luminous girl.
A dancer. But... from a young age... she was always fascinated by the dark side of life.
Gruesome murders, famous criminals, girls saved from brutal ravishment by strapping young heroes, and so forth.
The carnal vices possess her.
She blames me, of course.
And of course, I-I blame myself, but, um... clergymen's daughters are famously wayward.
Uh, let me be blunt, Alfred.
I know my daughter's proclivities.
She likes the fact that you've k*lled people.
You satisfy her adolescent revenge fantasies.
If she loves you... she loves the animal in you.
There is no... animal in me, sir.
There's an animal in all of us.
Don't you think?
Esme is a young lady of good family.
You are the child of servants, without means or education.
That, young man, is no foundation for a good Christian marriage.
Only squalid misery can result from such a union.
I will disinherit her.
Do you understand?
Thank you for your time.
Good day to you, madam.
You'll be Mrs. Spicer?
I am.
Be a love and tell Lulu I'm here.
Lulu?
There's no one here called Lulu.
There is, you know.
It didn't go well, I assume.
I told you it wouldn't.
Why didn't you tell me you were an heiress?
I look after myself.
He has money. So what?
What did he say?
He said I'm the child of servants and you're a lady, and only sordid misery can follow from such a union.
Pompous bastard. I knew it.
Well, he's not wrong. I am the child of servants.
Oh, do stop it.
You know bloody well you're not.
I-I mean... you are, but you're so much more than that.
Alfred, we don't need his blessing. I'm not a child.
He said he'll disinherit you.
As if I care.
I told him years ago to stuff his bloody money.
You should care.
That's your future.
You're my future.
How can we get married?
Wouldn't be right.
Not without your father's blessing.
f*ck his blessing.
You wanted to meet the bastard, and now you have.
I don't care what he says.
Why do you care?
He said what you love... is the animal in me.
He said you like that I've k*lled people because of your revenge fantasies.
Revenge, he said?
Typical.
He's the animal... an animal and a f*cking coward.
Steady on.
That's your dad.
What did he do wrong to make you so angry?
Nothing.
Nothing. He did nothing wrong.
And he's right, I do like it that you've k*lled people.
I suppose I thought it was romantic, but it's all just rather f*cking squalid, isn't it?
Ez. f*ck him, and f*ck you!
Not hatched yet, darling?
You'll get there.
Ian.
You scared me.
Sorry.
You should have woke me.
Well, you looked so peaceful.
What time is it?
Um...
2:47.
I've got to be at home at 5:00 for the vet.
Time for tea and biscuits.
No biscuits.
You've arse biscuits.
At ludicrous expense, I bought some of the biscuits you prefer.
You went to the shop?
Had no tea.
I could have gone for you.
Nobody saw me.
The grocer didn't see you?
I assure you that everything...
Whoa.
3.1415926535.
You did it, my darling.
Ha-ha!
She did it! Did what?
Found pi to the tenth decimal place... by herself!
Um, that's good, is it?
This is the power of-of flight, Sam.
The-the human mind has wings!
What's pie got to do with it?
This is the police!
Come on out! We know you're in there!
Come on! Open up!
We know where you are! Open it now!
Lady called about a job.
I said you'd be here.
Name?
Well, she didn't say.
You should ask for a name.
Hello, Alfie.
All right, Sand?
♪ Guess our plan can fade away... ♪ Lovely weather anyway, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
♪ Time will come when death... ♪ Well, glasses don't wash themselves.
♪ All is gone from love that is today... ♪
♪ On a cloud so far away... ♪ Mr. Pennyworth.
♪ In a world that we can be... ♪ Yes, miss?
Have we met?
No. But you're the only man here who might conceivably be a security consultant.
I'm Martha Kane.
Miss Kane.
Please have a seat.
A drink?
A cola, please.
I saw your ad in the paper.
First time that's paid off.
Usually business comes by word of mouth.
I'm new in town.
I don't have many friends, or I'd have sought a recommendation.
I thought Pennyworth sounded like a trustworthy name.
How can I help you, Miss Kane?
I need a driver bodyguard.
One day, two days at most.
We can do that.
Let's say five pounds an hour?
Plus expenses, of course.
Five pounds an hour is a lot of money.
Your advertisement says ex-m*llitary.
Yes, miss.
Myself and all the boys.
Then I expect you're all calm, capable men who know the value of discretion.
And the price of ignorance.
There'll be no gunplay or v*olence.
We'll be picking up a man and taking him to an airport.
Discretion is needed because there's a warrant out for his arrest on charges of h*m*.
The British government is going to take this man to a room in a prison and cut his balls off.
Well, that's not cricket, is it?
Who is he to you?
Nobody. He has good friends.
I'm working for them.
Funny sort of job.
It's more of a hobby.
I'm a photojournalist by trade.
Thomas Wayne isn't a friend of yours, is he?
I don't know the name.
Hmm.
Well, Miss Kane, you have a driver.
This is an advance.
I'd like to set off early tomorrow morning.
♪ On a cloud so far away... ♪ Let's say 6:00?
6:00 it is.
Miss Kane?
You haven't told me where we're going.
Do you need to know that now?
Only if you need to tell me.
I like you already, Mr. Pennyworth.
♪ It's your last chance on this green grass. ♪
Five pounds an hour to put a h*m* on an airplane?
I'm your man.
I'll give him a wank as we go.
No, mate. I'm taking this one.
Can I borrow your car, Baz?
No.
I need the money more than you.
Daveboy, this is a class job.
Needs a touch of grace.
Not your strength.
Suck my wet cock.
I've got class and grace to burn.
Five pound an hour?
Hey, she was straight. I could tell.
Ah, you could tell.
Are you reassured now?
Look, if there's anything shady afoot, I'll leg it.
Well, I mean, let's face it, there's bound to be something a little shady afoot.
If there's anything really lairy afoot, I'll leg it.
Please do. Hello, Alfie.
Esme. How are you?
Good. Good enough.
And you?
Fabulous, actually.
And my play's moving to the Marlowe for a proper run.
So I get to leave this wretched dump.
Oh, well done.
Congratulations.
The Marlowe.
Yes.
Well, I thought I probably won't see you again, so I should say good-bye.
Bazza, Daveboy, best of luck.
Alfie, I wish you every happiness.
♪ Say fear's a man's best friend... ♪ Ez.
♪ Say fear's a man's best friend ♪
♪ Say fear's... ♪ Good luck with the show.
I mean, break a leg.
♪ Man's best friend ♪
♪ Say fear's ♪
♪ A man's best friend. ♪
Fair play.
Where to, miss?
Oh, yes.
Here. All is well.
Cards, eh?
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Daveboy? Hmm?
Go away.
You smell like sh*t.
Is that me?
I thought there was a dead rat in here somewhere.
Shite.
Daveboy, do you know where you're going now?
Onslow's got a hose in the beer cellar.
You're not at the pub.
You're at the Rope.
Even better.
You wanted the police station?
Yes.
Your man's already under arrest?
I'm afraid so. I can't mislead you.
I'm going to represent myself as Thurso's lawyer and get him out.
Represent yourself as his lawyer.
Yes. But you're not a lawyer.
They're going to castrate him.
That doesn't make you a lawyer.
They carry briefcases and act like assholes.
I think I can pull that off.
Good morning.
Margo Garrick, Goodge and Warren, representing Mr. Ian Thurso.
I need to see my client immediately.
Good morning, Mr. Thurso.
Your friends in America sent us.
We're here to get you out of here.
Oh, thank God. I thought you'd never come.
I'm Chief Constable Wilkes.
Good day to you, Miss...?
Garrick. Goodge and Warren.
Finchley, my clerk.
You're very young to be a solicitor.
Well, Goodge and Warren don't send silks to rural police stations.
I'm presenting you with a writ of habeas corpus on behalf of my client Ian Thurso, asserting his rights as a free British subject and respectfully demanding his immediate release by authority of the Court of Chancery.
Chancery?
Why are they involved?
He's up for common buggery, not treason.
Mr. Thurso has powerful friends.
_
He's all yours.
I'm glad to be sh*t of him.
Uncuff him.
Bloody q*eer.
That's correct, sir, I am a bloody q*eer.
I copulate with men, whereas you prefer to oppress them.
Mr. Thurso, shall we?
I'm not going anywhere.
Not until I speak to Sam Shay.
Where is he?
You leave him be.
Haven't you brought enough disgrace on that family already?
They've been farming this area for generations.
Now poor Mrs. Shay won't even leave the house.
Where is he?
None of your business.
I'd like to speak with Mr. Shay.
You like what you want, miss.
He's giving a victim's statement.
Oh, so he's not under arrest.
But you won't let me speak with him.
Huh.
Make a note of that for the Chancery clerk.
You can take them both for all I care.
Good riddance.
You can say what you want in here, Sam.
There's no need to be ashamed.
No, I'm not ashamed. That's good.
I'm flummoxed, Ms. Ferris.
Why am I here?
I mean, your Brian sucked me off at the Harvest Festival, and, uh, well, he's not here.
Let's stick to the current investigation, shall we?
Samuel Shay?
What is that?
The technical term is computer.
It's a sort of powerful calculator.
For doing sums?
Looks like a b*mb to me.
It does, doesn't it?
Well, that thing's the future, apparently.
And that's why we're here.
Not because you care about Thurso or his bollocks.
The government want to keep him and his work locked in a dungeon, slaving under their control.
Wish you'd told me that bit when you hired me.
Anything else you haven't told me?
A great deal.
It's better that way, isn't it?
We have to go.
Ah.
Fuckery.
Sub us another fiver, eh, Baz?
Why not call it a day, brother?
No, I'm good.
Call it a day.
I asked you for a sub.
If it's a no, then say so.
No.
No?
Call.
What?
Am I persona non grata now, eh?
Aye, I can do Latin, too, you posh c**t.
After all I've done for you.
Walk away.
You're my oppo, Baz.
My f*cking oppo.
Five quid?
We playing or what?
No, we're not f*cking playing!
My people were the high chieftains of Strathclyde!
We don't play!
We don't have f*cking games, you cocksucker!
And who the f*ck are you, anyway?
This is who I am, you mental c**t. f*ck...
You put that away now.
No, no, no, no.
You let him be himself, Baz.
A gunman are you, eh?
Show me.
Daveboy, don't do this. I have a delicious hand.
f*ck your hand.
Back up.
Show me who you are.
Don't push.
I'm pushing, you sister-f*cking, Saxon piss drinker.
Show me!
Daveboy! Relax, Baz.
Just amusing myself.
This wee man here wouldn't sh**t me if I was titty-f*cking his weeping mother.
Shh.
What's your name?
Phil.
I'll call you Archie.
Sit down.
Pals, eh?
Sorry.
Who do you work for?
I thought we agreed it's better you don't know too much.
Yeah, now I worry I know too little.
This is deep water.
I work for the No-Name League.
You're joking. Why would I make jokes?
I thought, at worst, you're CIA.
God, no. No? You have use of an old U.S. Air Force base with a half-mile runway, lights on, not a soul around.
You have real Chancery documents and far too much money, and you're American.
And you're not CIA?
Sorry to disappoint you.
The No-Names write pamphlets, b*at up coppers.
Here's you doing high-level espionage work for the Americans.
Sounds a bit fishy, doesn't it?
I work for the No-Name League.
If the leadership instructs me to work with other entities, I work with other entities. Entities?
I'm trying to save a good man and his work from abuse and destruction.
Isn't that enough?
Transformers!
You, in there!
Come out.
Let's have a chat.
Who are these lot?
Raven Society, I'm afraid.
Of course.
Oh, God. You-you-you can't let them take her.
We won't.
Alfred, what's our best move here?
Surrender. We can't do that.
They'll take him and the computer.
Nobody dies. That's a good result.
Thurso and his work are far too precious to let fall into the hands of evil people.
And those are evil people.
They can't have him.
They can. They have g*ns.
So do I.
They can't have him.
And you're willing to die to stop that happening?
I'll have a chat to 'em.
Jesus.
A pair of cheery f*ckers, us, eh?
Let's get some music on.
There's a radio.
f*ck the ras-hole radio.
I said I'm sorry.
For f*ck's sake.
I tired, Daveboy.
You're exhausting me.
It was an accident. It's you, brother.
You're the accident. Now, f*ck off.
You need help with the drinking.
I can drink fine on my own.
I trying to talk to you.
You can't be serious for one moment?
You wee, cowering, timorous bastard.
Look what you did.
There he is.
Which one?
You see me smiling?
We're even now, yeah?
Mr. MacDougal, a word!
The... Durex machine, Mr. MacDougal, is not your personal pig bank.
Agreed.
Got him. Oh.
Oh, that was close, eh?
"The Durex machine, Mr. MacDougal, is not your personal pig bank".
Daveboy, look at me!
If you want to die...
...do it quickly and don't make your friends... watch.
I don't want to die.
I'm just trying to pass the f*cking time.
You know?
I'm trying to pass the time.
What's wrong, brother?
You can't walk?
Hey.
Okay.
Evening.
Parky, isn't it?
You've a Mr. Ian Thurso in there?
Bring him and his belongings out here.
We'll see he's well looked after.
Looked after?
You'll k*ll him.
His machine's useless without him.
We won't hurt him.
Honestly, mate. It's more than my job's worth.
Not up to me, love.
Give us a moment, and I'll talk to my employer.
Well?
A right old pickle.
Suppose... just suppose... I was to sort it out.
Yes?
What would that be worth to whoever pays your bills?
Name a price.
10,000 quid.
Done. f*ck.
This is deep water.
10,000 pounds? Seriously?
What's the plan?
Give me that g*n.
I talked to my boss. She said no.
No?
These No-Names are loony bastards, aren't they?
She's under strict instructions to k*ll him and destroy his machine rather than let 'em fall into your hands.
What? She says it's your choice.
Go away, or I k*ll him, and she smashes his machine.
She's in there with a hammer.
So, if you don't f*ck off, I'm gonna k*ll him as ordered.
Smartass bastard.
Look, the plane's not landing, so Thurso can't leave the country.
You chaps can try again tomorrow.
Can't you? There's hope.
Long as he's alive, of course.
Dead, he's just a sad story to tell the boss.
And I know what that's like.
Can't hang about all night.
Please.
I'm-I'm... I'm fibrillating.
You're all right. Drink some water.
They've really gone?
No.
They'll be waiting to ambush our car a couple of miles down the road.
So, then, how are we supposed to get the...?
Follow me.
Count to 15 slowly.
One.
Two, three.
11, 12, 13, 14. _
15.
I'm coming with you!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Perhaps you'll consider working with me again?
If you'll name an acceptable price.
You need not carry a g*n.
Just driving.
That's what you said about this job.
sh*t happens.
That's why the pay is good.
I respect your courage and commitment, Miss Kane, but I think you work for some very dodgy people.
On the other hand, money is money, and I need some.
I'll work for you.
Driving.
I won't carry a g*n, and you'll be honest with me.
Implying I've lied to you, which I haven't, but I take your point.
No g*n required.
No dishonesty.
I'll need you next week if you're available.
I am.
You're a strange sort of soldier who doesn't like g*ns and v*olence.
You probably haven't met many soldiers.
My father was a soldier.
Did he tell you about his nightmares?
He said he slept like a baby.
He was lying to you.
♪ Finished with my woman ♪
♪ 'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind ♪
♪ People think I'm insane ♪
♪ Because I am frowning... ♪
10,000 quid, and she's got plenty more work for us.
Who did you k*ll?
A little bother, but nobody d*ed.
Hmm... What's the bad news?
Yeah, fair play, there is some bad news comes with.
Hey, don't look at me like that, Baz.
She's a No-Name or a CIA spook or both.
I'm not sure.
A dark path.
But so be it.
I shall call for champagne.
How was your day, anyway?
Ordinary.
Very ordinary.
♪ I must be blind. ♪
I thought we'd go to the park later.
Feed the ducks.
We've fed 'em enough already. Fat bastards.
Any road, looks like rain.
On the rag, are you?
Stuck pigs are laughing.
I could run a watermill.
You've got to eat eggs.
Boil three eggs.
Yes, ma'am.
Do you want an egg?
No, thanks, mistress.
I'm restless, Peg.
I'm a caged animal.
Mind the yellow's still runny.
Yes, ma'am.
There's no one looking for us.
Been near on a month and nowt in papers.
Maybe you're right.
It would be nice to get home.
You can go home.
I'll be off back down to London.
Why? You've had nowt but trouble since you went down there.
There were good times. I made friends.
Like who? Like whom? Them daft Raven people?
Esme. Esme Winikus.
You're out of your mind.
We had a connection.
She likes me.
You abducted her and you locked her up, you daft bitch, she's terrified of you.
You wouldn't know.
You weren't there.
I have to see her again.
She thinks you're dead.
That's romantic, isn't it?
Coming back to life.
With me new look and everything.
You're coming back home with me if I have to lash you to the roof rack.
Fall in, you useless f*cking shower!
That's our boys!
I don't envy the Hun right now.
Never seen such a... villainous crew.
In an hour or so, it's going to get rather warm 'round here.
So let's show these blighters that we can take the heat and give it back to 'em... hotter.
We hold this position, come what may.
I say!
f*ck me.
Steady on, Doris.
We're on your side.
Get you steady, Bazza.
Here you go.
♪ A lonely mystery ♪
♪ When you... ♪
Don't he look smart, Mr. P?
You look like a hairdresser.
Oh. Money in your pocket, and you do what any common spiv would do.
Waste it on flash clobber and sports cars.
The car's on tick.
Ten pound a week.
Don't think I don't give you credit for your progress.
I do.
Thank you.
Here.
I do worry, though.
Well, you don't need to. No, I worry that, now you're doing well enough, you'll be thinking you're good enough for Esme.
Never occurred to me.
Good.
Yeah, that would be a mistake.
I'm telling you, you're well sh*t of her.
Is that right?
Mark my words, son: East is East, and West is West, and ne'er the twain.
Oh, give it a rest.
Excuse me?
It was you who got sh*t of her.
How'd you make that out?
You with your anger and your bitterness.
You scared the life out of her.
And you did it on purpose, didn't you?
I don't know what you mean.
Now what?
I've had enough of him.
"Never the twain" my arse.
Be careful now.
Or what? Shh.
Who wants a sandwich?
See how he behaves, eh?
Hasn't changed.
Still a belligerent little thug that doesn't know what's what.
What is what? Why don't you show me, Dad.
You need showing. Well, show me, then.
Shh.
Just leave him be, Alfie.
No, no, let him carry on.
Let him disrespect his father in his own house. I can take it.
There's only ever been two people disrespected in this house, and you ain't one of them, are you, Dad? Be honest.
You were a troublemaker.
You needed discipline.
Mum need discipline, too, did she?
Making trouble, was she?
Alfie, leave off.
It's between me and your father.
Least said, soonest mended.
That's what you always say.
It's what I believe.
Carry on, son.
You're a big man now.
Raise your voice.
Chastise your own father.
All right.
It's all right, Mum.
You're not wrong.
Least said.
Sorry, Dad.
I should hope you are.
Esme.
Alfie, what are you doing here?
Come for a bus ride with me.
A bus ride? Why?
Well, I had a car, but I got rid.
Don't need a car in London, do you?
I mean, where would we be going on this bus ride?
Well, you trust me, don't you?
No.
Not really.
Upstairs.
What do you think?
What do I think of what?
The roses and the chocolates are for you.
Um, thank you?
Alfie, what is this?
I rented the place.
Two years up front.
It's yours.
Course, if you wanted me to live here, too, I could be persuaded.
Alfie, this is mad.
We're not a couple.
You left me, remember?
No, you left me.
I was there. You gave me the ring back and you left.
You didn't try to stop me from going.
I got scared.
You, scared?
All this talk of animals.
I do have an animal in me.
He's fed me, paid the rent, kept me alive since I was 16.
And I don't know if there's anybody else in there.
Somebody more peaceful.
Somebody that deserves you.
Anyway, I've decided not to worry anymore.
It's a waste of time, so...
So, you robbed a bank.
Business has been good, but that's not the point.
Well, no, that sort of is my point, actually.
Uh, sorry, you're distracting me. What's my point?
Why are we here, Alfie?
You had the courage to go your own way and trust yourself.
I didn't.
But I do now.
If you'll have me.
♪ To everything ♪
♪ Turn, turn, turn ♪ Let's go! Let's go!
♪ And a time ♪
♪ For every purpose under heaven ♪
♪ A time to be born ♪
♪ A time to die ♪
♪ A time to plant ♪
♪ A time to reap ♪
♪ A time to k*ll ♪
♪ A time to heal ♪
♪ A time to laugh ♪
♪ A time to weep. ♪