07x02 - It's the End of the World, Worm Girl

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Younger"...

We don't have to rush.

I'm not going anywhere.

I can be impatient when I know what I want.

The question is out there.

There's something I think you should know; it's big.

- Will you marry me?

- Oh, my God.

Did she say yes?

Are they engaged?

- We just lost Millennial.

- What?

Everything that we've worked for, it's gone.

Relationships don't have to be defined, right?

I want to be happily unmarried to you.

I do know what I want, and it's not some kind of fantasy.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I didn't want things to end.

I just don't want to get married, but I guess that's a deal-breaker for him.

I'm impressed at Chaz's passion.

I mean, I basically thought he was a man-shaped building with a good haircut, and then you brought him to life.

Just in time to see him walk out of mine.

Oh, please.

He's not going anywhere.

You're gonna see him every day, and he's going to see you doing all the things that turn him on, like wearing reading glasses or chewing on pencils.

He'll come running back.

This is just hurt pride.

I tried calling him three times last night, and he just let me go to voicemail.

- I didn't think he'd be this...

- No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You want me to trash him, and then the two of youse are going to get back together, and I'll be as welcome as that short hair in a bar of soap.

Uh-uh.

No.

No.

He's great.

You're great.

This is gonna blow over.

I'm not going to change my mind about this, Maggie.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- ♪ I made you look last night ♪

- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Last night I made you look last night ♪ ♪ Made you, made you look ♪

Liza Miller?

[GASPS]

It's happening!

No, no, but she's one of my people.

Yeah, yeah, I can take those.

Thank you.

Oh, boy.

Looks like someone got the answer you wanted.

- Ooh.

Who are those for?

- They're for Liza.

Can you go give those to her?

I can't say any more.

Ah.

I don't work for you, and more about what?

Kelsey.

I am in a circle of trust here that you are not a part of, okay?

And I'm gonna make sure the sh*t gets celebrated properly.

: .

Conference room.

All will be revealed.

Oh, my God.

Charles again?

God, what will florists do when all the Boomers die?

"Some people care too much.

I think it's called love." It's Winnie the Pooh.

It's sweet, huh?

Oh, it's not from Charles.

It's from the benefit this weekend.

"Thank you for your support, table sponsor.

See you Saturday." Children's Literacy Fund.

You know, CLIT.

That's the name?

C-L-I-T?

[HUFFS]

They better hope those kids don't read!

Oh, God.

You're right!

- Mm.

- Hey...

do you have a minute to talk before the morning meeting?

Me first.

Check this out.

Shame on you, big sh*ts.

You have ruined the world.

Example...

microphone for each person is waste, and ice in glass!

Why?

Much energy dies to make these cubes.

That is Fupa Grunhof, the -year-old Austrian climate change doomsayer in Washington taking on the House Committee on Environment, and she's in town right now.

She's amazing.

and speaking truth to power like that?

Everyone wants to publish a book by her, and she's turned them all down.

But I think that we're different!

We're like her.

We're women.

We are fighters.

We haven't lost our hope that things can get better.

Oh, Charles is here.

That "Arabian Sea" book that Zane left me with is just blowing up, and I have to go pretend to be happy about it.

Okay.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

♪ ♪ Good news, everyone.

"Arabian Sea" just hit the "Times" best-seller list at number eight.

Wow.

Oh, we're so happy about that.

Super happy!

Hi.

Crazy morning, sorry.

What'd I miss?

Just congratulating the team on the McCoy book.

Oh, thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm just doing my job.

I did get the author on "New Day USA" in the prime first-hour slot on Wednesday.

- Oh, that's confirmed?

- Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I reached out to Rebecca, the booker, last night.

Well, reached over, but same diff.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Thank you.

Really, but Liza and I actually have an idea that we would love to pursue.

It is a nonfiction, current-issue book, and it could be a publishing event.

- It's...

- Oh, my God, hey!

Speaking of publishing events, could I jump in with a pitch of my own?

It's a love story set in a glamorous arena very close to home.

Liza, can you get the lights?

Thank you.

[AHEM]

Okay.

Let me set the stage with the characters.

- _ - [BERLIN'S "TAKE MY BREATH AWAY" PLAYS]

Love isn't just for the young and obviously desirable, right?

I mean, even with people ripening in the September and early Octobers of their years, love can find a way.

Love, say, between a publishing titan with very big hands and shoes and a housewife from New Jersey who moved to New York to impersonate young people and learn about memes and Snapchat lenses.

- Lauren, I don't think that's necessarily...

- Actually, can we...

And this lovable, kitten-eared impostor soon won the heart of the boss/slash/hero who, incidentally, believes in promoting from within, and he summoned up the courage to...

you know what?

I believe that he can say this far better than I can.

Will you marry me?

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ You take my breath away ♪

- Okay.

Now, we didn't get her answer here on video, but he got it, obvi, and therefore, it brings me great pleasure to present to you, our Empirical family, the future Mr.

- and Mrs. Charles Brooks!

- Lauren...

Lauren!

Uh...

Lauren, we're not, um...

- we're not getting married.

- ♪ Never hesitatin' to...

♪ We're not engaged.

It's not...

it's not happening.

- [CLICK]

- [MUSIC STOPS]

Wait, he proposed to you at Diana's wedding?

Uh, yes, I did, and I got my answer.

Charles, I love you.

I just don't need a piece of paper to prove it.

And I love you, and I never thought of marriage as just a piece of paper, but if that's what it means to you...

- So it's your way or the highway?

- I just...

I...

- [GASPS]

- [MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS]

Oh, my God!

Oh, right, the cake for the "Arabian Sea" success.

Ha, ha!

To the kitchen, please.

Thank you.

So, so thoughtful.

My apologies for everyone having to hear this, um...

Excuse me.

Oh, my God.

Liza, Liza, I am so sorry.

I-I got...

I got this really wrong.

I just...

you know, I wanted to make a big fuss over you.

I know.

It would have been fun if I'd said yes.

This is what you wanted to tell me.

Yeah, for days now, yeah, but you were going through own heartache with Zane.

I couldn't pile on.

So what do I do?

The same thing that I do when my life blows up in my face.

Kels, I don't want to day drink.

Not drink.

Work.

Come on.

We've got a writer to sign.

[SOFT MUSIC]

He just left me on the carousel.

I must have ridden that thing for an hour in shock.

Well, clearly his ego just couldn't handle the rejection.

But I didn't reject him!

- You get it, right?

- No, no, no.

I get that, but I'm not the one that needs to.

Ugh.

- Wait, where are we?

- Fupa Grunhof's Insta says she's holding a composting rally near here.

Ooh.

Mina Soul Food.

I don't think I can handle chicken and waffles right now, Kels.

Mmm, you're going to have to.

Like, literally.

Let's just hope their dumpster's full.

Come on!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

If you want to get into the meet and greet, you've got to donate, so we basically have our VIP passes for free.

Well, my VIP pass is leaking chicken guts all over my shoes.

Oh, my God.

Is that a beak?

Oh, look!

There she is.

It's Fupa!

[APPLAUSE]

Food waste is / rd of all garbage here in New York City.

We can use it to save valuable wetlands that are being consumed by landfill dumps.

[APPLAUSE]

- Whoo!

- Whoo!

Stop patting yourselves on the back for this!

This is nothing.

I've seen your portions here.

- Stop eating so much.

- Ha.

Supersize is a sin, and why are there triple patties?

Are there three mouths in one face?

- You are idiots!

- Wow, she's incredible.

She's like one of the von Trapp children, but hangry.

Oh!

Oh, my God, the smell.

I can feel myself turning vegan.

You are all dilettantes.

Get your hands dirty.

Like that person there!

Hurrah!

Come here, filthy one!

Come here.

Yes.

Show them.

It is not about looking good.

It is about doing good for the planet.

Fupa!

Kelsey Peters, Empirical Press.

This is Liza Miller.

Do you have a minute?

Of course I don't.

No one does.

The planet's dying.

It's a time b*mb with a few nice beaches.

That's it.

Well, that's why a book by you could do so much good in sounding the alarm.

I get a dozen offers from publishers a day.

- They just care about money.

- I know.

They're terrible vultures, but...

I love vultures.

Nature's recyclers, but these book people, they know nothing about glaciers or carbon impacts or composting.

Well, I love composting.

Eggshells, coffee grounds.

I have a daughter.

She's in college, and we compost together.

I worry about her future.

- That's why your voice is so important.

- They're here!

The worms are here!

No, no, no.

We're not worms.

We have a true passion for what you're doing.

Oh, no.

I think she means worm worms.

For the compost.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- Hi.

- I hate worms.

Just the sight of them makes me want to...

[GASPS]

- They look really angry.

- No, they are beautiful.

They are our saviors, turning our waste into liquid gold.

Ah, yeah.

They're great.

I mean, you don't even have to look at them to know how great they are.

My fellow composter, I want you to do the honors.

Oh.

Into the box!

Pick them up.

Go ahead.

Oh, God.

And now dump the whole thing, the whole box, into the compost bin.

God.

Now, mix.

With your hands.

Get in there.

It feels like they could just do it on their own if you just give them some space.

Let me show you.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh.

- See?

It's fun.

- Yeah.

Sometimes they break in the middle, but they don't care.

Uh-huh.

Ugh.

No, no, no, no, my God!

My bracelet, it slipped off!

Well, you know what?

We can get you a new bracelet, like a signing bonus kind of thing.

No, no you don't understand!

It was given to me by Al Gore and blessed by Baby Yoda's main puppeteer.

It's everything to me!

Really?

Oh, okay.

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Oh, God.

Oh!

Oh...

Danke, mein Engel!

Oh, anything for you, Fupa.

That's how much we believe in your message.

I like you, Liesl.

We must talk about this book you want.

It's good news, right?

You look like you want to, uh... kotzen.

No, it's great.

I'll kotzenlater.

I can't believe she's coming in for a pitch tomorrow with us.

We b*at out everyone in New York City.

Ah!

Today is a good day.

Yeah, it's great.

You know what, Liza?

All I heard is that Charles Brooks said he loves you in front of all of us.

That's what happened today.

He did.

You're right.

Thank you.

That feels better.

Great.

You've got a worm in your hair.

What?

sh*t!

Oh, my God!

Get it out!

[KELSEY LAUGHING]

- Guten morgen.

- Fupa!

I'm sorry I'm late.

We had to stop the car and take a straw out of a child's juice box.

Oh, this is my handler.

Don't worry.

She won't speak.

- Right, Mutter?

- Ja, liebling.

- Oh, this is your mother?

- Yes.

Is handy for buying drinks and voting.

Are we ready?

Time is a resource, too.

Well, we are all very passionate about conserving resources here, and so are our readers, thanks in large part to you.

Yeah, I actually only shop organic.

This foundation is, in fact, moss-based, and you should check out my Insta.

- I'm mostly barefoot.

- Yech, performative activism.

Posting and retweeting, so difficult.

Millennials do not want to do the hard work.

And books!

All that paper.

It's like tree m*rder.

Is it really worth it?

Of course we will heavily promote the digital and audio versions, but books reach older people, and those are the minds you have to sway.

Is true.

Old oaks must fall so young saplings can thrive.

And this young sapling got one of our authors booked on "New Day USA" tomorrow.

That's the kind of reach Empirical can provide.

Tomorrow?

I will be on that show, too.

That's great!

Maybe you could mention in the interview that you're going to be doing a book with us.

Yes.

Okay.

Bring the contracts.

Maybe I will sign them before I leave for Davos Thursday.

So soon?

Isn't Davos a month away?

I will be traveling there in a zero-emission sailboat.

It takes time.

Anyway, tomorrow.

Oh, and one more thing.

A gift for you.

Your bracelet?

From yesterday?

But that's your most valuable possession.

[LAUGHING]

I do not care about this bracelet.

Is a cheap souvenir.

I was playing little joke on you yesterday.

"Save it!

Save it!" So fun.

The book will be full of my humor.

You make me laugh, worm girl.

[CHUCKLING]

- Got a minute?

- Uh, yeah, come in.

Unless you have a slideshow.

Oh, God.

That was horrible yesterday.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I usually don't let my emotions get the best of me.

Yeah.

Silver lining.

We said a lot of nice things.

Well, shouted a lot of nice things.

We're never gonna say bad things about each other, are we?

No.

But how do we manage around here?

We can't have a scene like that again.

I've got some vacation saved up.

Maybe I should take it now.

We can find a way to work together, regardless of what's happening between us.

And you're needed around here.

Not just by me.

I just...

I don't know what the rules are.

Are we allowed to have lunch together?

Dinner?

Free tonight?

Now, for instance?

Uh, I am seeing Bob and Julia tonight.

Oh.

Well, tell them I said hi.

I will.

But Saturday is the Children's Literacy Fund.

We still have a table, right?

Yes.

The girls have it on the kitchen calendar.

So we'll see you there.

Oh, great.

Good.

Okay.

[SMALL LAUGH]

Well, good night.

Good night.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪ Not to say that women aren't important.

I like women, and I write them well.

- So I've been told by women.

- Wow.

Not every guy can manspread and mansplain at the same time.

Oh, my God.

I know.

He needs some kind of award like a Manny.

Oh, my God, no.

A Teste.

I insist on very small print, understand?

To save trees.

On paperback only.

Easy to ship.

- You put that in?

- Absolutely.

Ah, Liesl.

I can tell you have a deep sadness, no?

I like sad people because they know we are doomed.

Oh, is this your author?

A plucky, waterfront prost*tute who sacrifices...

Yeah, this is Josiah McCoy, "Arabian Sea."

Ah, is oceanographer.

Let me see.

Now, some reviewers are commenting on the timeliness of this book because the rise of piracy can be traced to climate change, right?

Warming waters impacting fishing economies, forcing coastal populations to pursue a life of crime on the high seas.

Climate change?

Please.

Not proven.

It's just weather, pal.

It means nothing.

Climate change is a myth, a left-wing conspiracy theory...

You know what?

I saw some responsible,

- low-emission snacks back...

- This is what your company promotes?

- I will be in bed with him?

- No, I sent him b*llet points.

- He's going rogue.

- You know, Fupa, why don't we go to the green room, and we can sign the contract?

- You are a bad, bad man.

- Who the hell is this?

Hello, America.

Do not buy this book, good peoples.

But if you've bought it already, don't burn it.

That's pollution.

There is use for this paper, yes?

You know what I'm saying.

- No.

- This is perfect for toilettenpapier!

For the number two!

Did she really just say, "Don't buy this book"?

I mean, great.

We had a golden goose in our driveway, and then she backed over it.

We're roadkill.

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC]

♪ Call me Lady Renegade ♪

♪ Renegade ♪

- ♪ Call me Lady Renegade...

♪ - Fupa isn't responding to any of my texts.

Wait, I'm sorry.

You still want to sign her after she just crashed our biggest moneymaker?

Relax.

I highly doubt she still wants to sign with us.

Maybe if we promise to donate the profits of her book to her foundation.

We can't bribe authors to publish with us.

Uh, guys, "it's just weather, pal" is trending on Twitter, and Tucker Carlson just retweeted it

- with a link to our website.

- What?

I mean, this will mean a fifth printing for the book.

Hey, sorry.

I'm just trying to do my job over here.

At least we don't have to cry over losing Fupa.

Oh, no.

No.

I had my arm in a barrel of manure.

I had a worm in my armpit.

I'm not letting this go.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪ There is no point to this, Liesl.

You publish him, you can't publish me.

Fupa.

Fupa, please.

Look, I love how strong you are, but sometimes, those strong principles, they push people away, the very people that you are trying to reach.

Empirical can reach those people.

They'll come to buy McCoy, and your book will be right next to his on our website, on our shelves, like a little stealth b*mb.

I am also against bombing.

But maybe you are right.

I do get tried sometimes, always having better principles than everybody else.

Okay.

I will bend to have my voice heard.

That is good advice, Liesl.

I am so glad.

So...

But I will give you small wisdom, too.

Adults give me advice all the time, and usually...

no, always, it is advice they need to hear themselves.

Maybe you don't bend, too?

Ah, but what do I know?

I'm just a -year-old girl who's saving the world.

Mutter!

The pink suitcase goes on top!

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Poor Liza.

Poor Charles.

He told us the whole story the other night at dinner.

Oh?

What did he say?

That you two wanted different things.

We're so sorry.

Oh.

Bob is waving me over.

We'll talk later.

Okay, you can look that sad at a CLIT party.

She's one of Charles's best friends, and she thinks it's over.

What do you think?

Well, look at him.

He's here, and I think he's still...

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm an editor.

I know endings, and it doesn't seem like that's where we are.

At the end.

Go turn the page, and find out.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- Hi.

Thanks for being here.

Lucky me.

I won everything that I bid on at the silent auction.

You overbid.

You always do at these charity things.

It's 'cause you're one of the good guys.

Hm.

Charles.

Can we compromise on the whole marriage thing?

Compromise how?

I think I was wrong to say never.

It's how I feel now, but who knows?

In time, maybe I change my mind, or maybe you do, but let's give ourselves that time.

And if we each bend a little...

Liza.

I've had to bend a lot to be with you ever since we met.

You never asked me to, but I walked away from my company for you, and I had to bend on the custody agreement, time with my girls, 'cause Pauline was so upset about your lie.

So if I bend any more, I'm gonna break.

That's not what I'm asking.

We just want different things.

I realize that now, and there are no villains here.

Hard as it is, it's best we both move on.

With respect, not with anger.

But if we still love each other...

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

I found her.

We can go.

Can you come spend the night, Liza?

You can make pancakes tomorrow.

Daddy's aren't as good.

You know I would love to see you.

See, Daddy?

She wants to come.

You're just being mean.

He's not being mean.

I mean, he brought us here, didn't he?

He didn't want to come, but you begged him, so he's not being mean.

I couldn't come anyway.

I have things tomorrow.

Come on, girls.

Goodbye, Liza.

Wait!

We didn't say goodbye.

Come here.

Okay.

Promise me if you come to the office, you'll come say hi, okay?

And the secret to the batter is the chocolate chips.

I hid a bag behind the flour.

- I told you...

- See you Monday.

[MOODY MUSIC]

♪ ♪ ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ♪ Liza.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

Next time on "Younger"...

I just can't believe it's really over.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I am blown away.

Surf legend Kai Manning.

He said he wants to hang.

- Liza can hang with him.

- What?

♪ ♪

- Liza, what do you think?

- I don't know what to think.

Hasn't anyone told you?

Don't ask me if I'm okay.

I'm gonna scream my head off.

Isn't it true that with every loss comes unexpected opportunity?

What...

what is she doing here?

No way.