12x10 - f*ckin' f*cked Out Of Our f*ckin' Minds

[bunniefuu]

Where the f*ck is he, man?

People are driving me nuts!

Chill the f*ck out.

I'm trying to talk to the camera here.

f*cking talk, then.

Well, today's a big day.

We're making this announcement that's gonna f*cking change the lives of everybody here in Sunnyvale.

You know, Sunnyvale's our home.

We care about each and every one of these people.

How much longer do we have to wait, for f*ck's sake?

Murray, shut the f*ck up or go the f*ck home!

All right?

We're doing this for you, for f*ck's sake!

-f*ck you!

-f*ck me?

-[arguing]

-[horn honking]

[honking]

f*ck...

Holy sh*t, Bubs!

What the f*ck is this?

[Bubbles]

Check that out.

[giggle]

[Ricky]

f*cking silver space ship.

-[Bubbles]

f*cking right.

-Look at that, man.

[Bubbles giggling]

It looks like a spaceship.

-Check it out.

-f*ck.

Check it out, boys.

[whispering]

Julian, you didn't make the announcement without me, did you?

We wouldn't do that without you, man.

Here, you do the honours.

What's the big f*cking announcement?

Bobby, I swear to f*ck, you say one more f*cking word.

-Ricky!

-Say one more f*cking word!

Ricky, it's all right.

It's all right.

Hey, everybody!

Sorry for the wait.

Look.

I know you all know I started this little beer company a few months back because you guys all kept me in business.

So I wanna thank you for that.

-[laugh]

-[mixed cheers]

Well, Ricky and Julian are my new partners and we are very happy to announce that as of today, Freedom 35's gonna be available right across Canada!

[cheering]

Yeah, and...

and...

you guys are all gonna be a part of the new company.

[cheering]

Yes, sir.

That's our way of, you know, giving something back to the park that's given so much to us over the years.

We care about everybody here.

So anybody that needs a job, you just f*cking got one.

-[cheering]

-And that goes for Lahey and Randy, too.

[laughter]

You know, it's been like f*cking Armageddon around here ever since I got out of jail but I think we really turned a corner and I'm looking forward to a...

a bright and wonderful post-apocalypstic future.

Okay, everybody, thanks for coming out.

I hope the surprise was worth the wait.

-Cheers.

-That wasn't the whole surprise.

Actually, Julian, the old Bubbler has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.

No way.

Not actually, Ricky.

Not my real sleeve.

Everybody, today we are having...

the f*cking...

double stag party to end all double stag parties!

-No f*cking way!

-[cheering]

We've got more f*cking beer than you can shake a stick at.

We've got food, we've got weed.

All the fellas are invited.

[cheering]

Today's for getting f*cked up, everybody.

-What are we gonna get?

-[all]

f*cked up!

I can't hear you!

What are we gonna get?

f*cked up!

[theme music]

When people get married, they do have a stag.

That is normal, right?

-I know, I know, but sometimes girls...

-Hey boys, get the f*ck in here.

It's time for surprise number one.

Get ready to be freaked out.

[laughing]

What do you got going on here, Bubs?

What is this, f*cking Dexter's k*ll room or something?

[Bubbles]

No, no.

Just come in.

Come in.

[Ricky]

What the f*ck's happening, man?

Well, my two best friends are all grown up, and getting married and everything, and it just got me thinking about, you know, when we were kids and how much sh*t we used to get into.

So, boys, I went around the park and I was asking people if they had any old footage of us.

Mrs.

Peterson had this in her shed.

-[Julian]

Oh, no.

-Yes.

Are you ready for this?

-[Ricky]

Yes.

-[Bubbles giggling]

Watch this.

[whirring]

[Ricky laughing]

I remember that hash!

[Bubbles]

Hot knives!

-[Ricky]

Right on!

-[laughter]

That is awesome.

[Bubbles]

Ha-hah!

Doin' blades!

Oh yeah, check this, boys.

[Julian]

Holy sh*t, isn't that Lahey's old place?

[Ricky]

No way, is this the day?

No!

[Bubbles]

This is it, Ricky.

This is it, this is the day.

[laughter]

Can't believe it.

[laughter]

[Bubbles]

Right in the bird!

Remember?

You got him, Ricky.

Remember?

Went right in his pee hole.

Sorry, bud.

[Ricky]

f*ck's happening here?

[Bubbles]

You guys remember this day?

-Oh!

-Uh-oh!

[Bubbles]

Remember how drunk he was?

-...six hours.

-[laughter]

[Bubbles]

Look at Barb!

Look at Barb!

[giggle]

That was one of the best...

one of the best space sessions we ever had.

[exclamations from the crowd]

[Julian]

We were young.

-Had to start sometime.

-Oh, you used to be so cute!

[Bubbles]

I think that's the first time I ever drank liquor.

Uh-oh.

-What were you, 12?

-We were young, we were young.

[Bubbles]

I think that car's still at the bottom of the lake.

[laughter]

-[applause]

-Yeah!

Bubs, get over here, man.

That was awesome.

-Give me a hug.

-Yes.

That was the coolest f*cking thing I've ever seen in my life, man!

Bring it in, Bubs.

That was badass, buddy!

Thanks.

-Right on.

-Congratulations, boys.

Okay, you guys ready to go get f*cked up or what?

-[various]

Yes!

[Bubbles and Julian]

Let's do it!

[Ricky]

Gotta stop by my trailer for a minute.

[Julian]

All right, let's go.

[bottles clinking]

Hey T, can you get all the boys down to the gravel pit?

I'll meet you there.

-I got you, B.

-All right.

So I don't want you worrying about me today, okay?

I promise I won't get too f*cked up.

What?

No, I want you to get f*cked up.

It's your stag party, babe.

-You for real?

-Yes!

I mean, don't get, you know, bang-a-stripper messed up, but have fun.

Baby, I don't want to be banging any strippers, believe me.

-Exactly.

-Strippers?

Baby, I don't want you around any strippers.

What the f*ck you talking about?

Of course there's going to be strippers.

It's a stag party.

STAG: Strippers That Are Greasy.

There's going to be strippers.

Right, Bubs?

What?

I...

don't know that for sure.

It's not a big deal.

We're just gonna look at them.

It's not like we're gonna f*cking tee off on them -or finger blast them or anything.

-What does that even mean?

Get some sh*t going.

Not gonna do it.

We're just gonna look at them.

I don't care if you look at male strippers.

-Good.

Maybe we will.

-Perfect!

Yeah.

If you lay a finger on them, I swear to God...

Don't do it, Ricky.

I hear you.

Don't grab any f*cking cocks.

Okay.

Well, if you touch any strippers, you come home, I'm gonna have a cock in each pocket.

Why would you even say that?

I didn't say, "Hey, gonna get a bag full of tits and come home...

If you come home with a f*cking bag full of tits...

-I'm not going to, Susan!

-...the stupidest thing.

-f*ck!

Love you.

-Love you too, baby.

-Have fun.

-You too.

Prepare for some drunken banging when I get back, all right?

-Okay, baby.

-All right.

I love you, babe.

Have fun.

[Julian]

All right, boys.

Let's do it!

Holy f*ck, this thing is badass, man!

Is this real wood?

[Bubbles]

Oh, you're f*cking right, it's real wood, Ricky.

It's all mahogany, I think.

A smoke eater, too.

That's awesome, for smoking the dope.

A f*cking flat screen TV!

Are you kidding me, buddy?

Ricky, it's got a satellite dish too.

-I got all the f*cking channels.

-f*ck off!

There's a Rambo marathon on tonight, boys.

Maybe we could watch that when we're all f*cked up later.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, we could, or maybe we'll do some other sh*t.

We'll see what happens.

I just can't believe you own this f*cking thing.

Well, I technically do, Ricky, and I'll probably end up living in it.

But, I mean, I feel like we all own it, you know?

Yeah, but we don't.

You own it, right?

You just said that.

Well, we could all have one very soon, Ricky.

I mean, you know, the beer guy said if everything goes the way it should, we're going to make 90 grand this year possibly.

-What?

-Think about that.

-You shut the f*ck up!

-That's 30 grand each.

-What?

-[Julian]

Holy f*ck!

-[laugh]

-Set for life!

Bubs, where you going?

You just passed the f*cking road to the pit.

No, we got one more stop to make first, Julian.

[giggle]

So I said, you can't had herpes.

[laughter]

Sarah, I'm so sorry for how I acted.

I mean, I'm sure it must be difficult for you to accept that Ricky and I are getting married but I feel like we're all adults.

Okay, wait.

You think that I'm upset that you're marrying Ricky?

[laughing]

I couldn't be happier.

I can't believe anybody would marry him.

What the f*ck do you mean by that?

Well, like I've slept with him a couple times over the years.

Like, you know, he's really good in bed, okay?

But I wouldn't marry him in a million years.

Well, he may be good in bed but he is one shitty handyman.

Ugh.

[Sarah]

Yeah, he's a total f*ck-up.

No offence, Trin.

None taken.

Mm.

He is great in bed.

I don't think anybody's disputing that.

Oh my God, guys!

It's my dad.

Has anyone not slept with him?

-Seriously, anybody?

-I haven't.

Hello?

-Well, I'm not saying anything.

-[laughing]

Yes, sir.

I can be there in, uh, 15 minutes.

-Sorry, ladies.

Duty calls.

-[several]

Awww!

Yeah, there's a really big case I've been working on for the past several months.

An international drug case.

-Ooh, that sounds exciting.

-One step closer to being a judge.

[mixed laughs, cheers]

-Cheers to dicks.

-[laughter]

Have fun.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

-Bye!

-We won't.

-[door banging]

-[Bubbles]

Ricky...

Grab a seat, boys.

What the f*ck are we doing here?

Isn't there food at the pit?

Yeah, there's food at the pit.

I just wanted to come here and I thought it was the perfect place to make a toast.

All right.

[giggling]

You guys don't even realize where we are, do you?

-We're at the f*cking school.

-Yeah, why are we here?

We should be at the f*cking pit getting f*cked.

Boys, this is where we were sitting the first time you ever mentioned the words "Freedom 35", Julian.

Holy f*ck, the memory on you.

Yeah, that's the day you picked us up at jail.

-Yes, sir.

-Wow, man.

Oh, my f*ck!

And then we went to steal car stereos.

-Yes, we did.

-Are we gonna steal car stereos?

No, Ricky, no.

I just wanted to come here and just, you know, make a toast, -because I love you guys.

-We love you too, man.

You're f*cking right we do.

-Wow.

-To friends, family, and to my best friends getting married.

And to never giving up.

And to ever never going back to jail.

We did it, boys.

To Freedom 35.

To Freedom 35.

-Let's just take it in.

-[Julian]

Ahh.

Okay.

Well, now we got that out of the way.

Let's go to the pit and get f*ckin' f*cked out of our f*ckin' minds!

Let's do it!

Let's go.

Come on, boys.

-[Julian]

Let's go, Bubs.

-[Ricky]

Come on, buddy.

Whoo!

I thought we could sit here for a minute and enjoy the sentimentality of it.

f*ck!

Look at all this sh*t, man.

-This is f*cking amazing!

-[Bubbles laughing]

Boys, I want you guys to have the best day you've ever had in your entire f*cking lives.

Look at all the people.

And what the f*ck's with these cars, Bubs?

They're not for what I think they are, are they?

[Bubbles]

Oh, you're f*cking right they are, Ricky.

-[Ricky]

Oh, yeah!

-We're having a smash-up derby and once they're f*cking sufficiently immobilized, guess what?

-What?

-[Bubbles giggling]

We're going to sh**t them with machine g*ns and then blow them up with f*cking dynamite!

-[Ricky]

No, we're f*cking not!

-[Julian]

What?

I got everything from Reggie, baby.

[Ricky]

Bubbles!

You are f*cking awesome!

-Everything from Reggie.

-[laughter]

Man, this is gonna be f*cking incredible!

Let's f*cking get some drinking going, boys!

-[giggle]

-[cheering]

[Bubbles]

Everybody, let's get this party started!

-[mixed cheers]

-Just wait..

Pam.

What the f*ck are you doing?

Grill...

You can't cook a burger to save your f*cking life!

Randy, get on the cheeseburger detail, bud.

-Okay, Bubbles.

-Mr.

Lahey, get the liquor flowing, will you?

Come on.

Cory, Jacob, there's about a hundred cases of beer on there.

You guys hump 'em off there, please.

Cool, man.

I got one already.

Well, just go get the f*cking cases.

You take off the hundred and you can have a six pack between yous.

Dope.

Hey, everybody, without further ado, I'd like to hand over the floor to the master of grease ceremonies...

-[cheering]

-Do it, T!

Yes, man.

Y'all make some noise for my mans, Ricky and Julian, y'all!

-Right on, T!

-[cheering]

-All right.

-Look at the size of that...

-...this little bitch into my lungs.

-[giggle]

-How's it going?

-[Bubbles]

Here we go.

I'm not allowed to touch you today but I'm allowed to look at you.

-I am!

I am!

-[Julian]

Right on!

I'm pretty f*cking impressed with what Bubble's pulled together for this stag party.

It's f*cking incredible.

We've got ladies, f*cking food with the burgers, cars to f*cking smash up and then blow up and sh**t, g*ns, kablammo powder...

This could be the best stag party in the history of the f*cking world.

The only thing that might make it better would be a f*cking magic unicorn sh1tting golden nickels on us from a rainbow.

Maybe.

[Bubbles]

Boys, drive some more burgers into you.

There's tons of food.

Get some more food.

Keep cooking, Randy.

Boys, are you ready to get the f*cking smash-up derby going or what?

-You're g*dd*mn right!

-Let's f*cking do it, man!

I mean, I don't want to break up the par-tay here.

It's okay, we'll be back.

We'll be back, ladies.

Okay.

Boys, you ready to get the smash-up derby going?

-Yeah!

-Do we get a car, Bubbles?

You're g*dd*mn right you get a car.

Lahey, you're f*cking driving.

All right!

[Bubbles]

Okay.

Everybody get your f*cking helmets on.

Safety first!

[Lahey]

Gentlemen, start your engines!

-Helmets on, Ricky.

-I'm not wearing a f*cking helmet.

-Yes, you are wearing a f*cking-- -It'll f*ck up my hair.

Ricky, would you rather have f*cked-up hair or a f*cked-up brain?

Okay, boys, climb in.

Let's get this f*cking thing going!

Yo, dude, our doors are locked.

[Bubbles]

It's f*cking chained shut, Cory.

You've got to go in through the window.

[engines starting]

[whooping, cheering]

[rock music]

[Bubbles grunting with excitement]

Ahh!

Look out, Mr.

Lahey!

[Julian]

Holy f*ck this is awesome!

I'm coming to get you, Lahey!

[Jacob]

Aw, dude, man, Cory, look out!

[Ricky]

Yeah!

f*ck you, Lahey and Randy!

Whoo!

All right, who the f*ck else wants a piece of me?

[Julian]

Eat my ass, Lahey!

[motor revving]

-[Ricky]

All right, come on, Bubbles!

-[Bubbles]

No, Ricky!

Not head-on!

[Ricky]

f*ck off, man.

You can't get hurt!

[Bubbles]

Yes, you can!

[cheering]

[Ricky]

Oh, you think so, do you, you little f*ckers?

-Boom!

-[Bubbles]

f*ck's sake, Rick!

[cheering]

[Julian]

f*ck, Ricky, watch the...

[Bubbles]

Fatal mistake, Cory and Jacob.

Here comes the Bubbinator!

[screaming, grunting]

-[engine sputtering]

-[Cory]

Aw, dude.

What's going on?

Start the car, dude!

[Ricky]

Bubs, Julian, they can't start their car.

Malachi f*ckin' Crunch!

[Cory]

Hey dude, what's a Malachi Crunch, dude?

[Ricky]

Get the f*ck out of my way!

-[Julian]

Just back the f*ck up!

-[engine sputtering]

[Bubbles]

Boys, not the Malachi Crunch!

All right!

Hit it!

Do it!

[Bubbles]

Boys!

-[Ricky]

Boom!

-[crowd]

Ohh-h-h!

[laughter]

[Ricky]

Whoo!

Right on, Julian.

That was f*cking perfect.

[Jacob moaning]

sh*t, dude.

I can't believe...

Oh, man what's wrong, dude?

You okay?

I think so.

I think I might have broke this thing again, though.

-Broke what thing?

Your neck?

-I think so.

Jacob, stop being a p*ssy.

You can't break your neck twice -in the same place.

It's impossible.

-No, it's not, Ricky.

-You can totally do that.

-Well, can you walk?

I think so.

[panting]

All right.

Cory, drag him the f*ck out of there.

Go lay down in the RV and relax.

You're not ruining a perfect f*cking day with a g*dd*mn broken neck, Jacob.

Well, just be careful with him.

These cars are about as f*cked up as they're going to get from driving them.

What do you say we sh**t these cocksuckers -and then blow them up?

-f*ck, yeah!

[cheering]

All right, I'll get my homemade kablammo powder!

-[cellphone ringing]

-Right on, Bubs.

Best day ever, buddy!

Hi, baby.

What?

Slow down.

What...

why is it off?

Japanese mafia?

What are you...?

No, listen to me.

Listen to me.

No, no, babe, babe, let me...

Stop yelling.

Ba...

Candy?

[click]

[sigh]

For f*ck's sakes!

f*ck!

[Ricky]

What the f*ck's going on, man?

Are you all right?

No, I'm not all right!

Candy just broke up with me.

What?

What the f*ck did she say?

I don't know, man.

She was screaming at me, calling me a liar and...

something about the f*cking Japanese mafia.

Told me to get a lawyer, sh*t's coming down.

I don't f*cking know, man.

It sucks but...

-So, you're not getting married?

-Apparently not, Ricky.

[laughing]

That's f*cking amazing!

-f*ck you!

-No, seriously.

If you're not getting married, I'm definitely not getting married!

It's f*cking perfect.

-I gotta go f*cking deal with this.

-No, no, no, no.

-No, I'm dealing with this...

-This is an awesome day...

-Get the f*ck out of my way!

-It just got awesomer.

Think about it.

We're f*cking single now.

-I don't want to be single!

-Okay, well, trust me on this one.

When they're f*cking worked up, yelling and screaming at you, you've got to let them calm down.

It's happened to me, and that's the best f*cking thing.

-Let them calm down.

-Yeah?

Yeah.

All right.

Okay, let's go blow some sh*t up.

-Yes, let's go blow some sh*t up!

-Deal with this later.

[Ricky]

Whoo!

[Jacob panting]

Thank you.

[Randy]

Holy frig, your neck is crooked, Jacob.

[panting]

Thank you.

[Ricky]

Holy f*ck, these are amazing, Bubs!

-Where did you get these f*cking things?

-f*cking Reggie just got 'em in.

Ricky.

[laugh]

All right, boys.

Listen, that's f*cking full of kablammo powder.

The first one to hit the sweet spot, that baby's going up.

-Right on.

I'm hitting it.

-You guys ready?

-Yeah!

-Do it.

All right.

One, two, three, fire!

[g*nf*re]

[crowd cheering]

[Bubbles]

Yeah!

Holy f*ck!

That was f*cking incredible, man!

Let's do another one.

You want me to wire up another one, Ricky?

Yeah!

-Let's do it!

-Wait, wait, wait...

what's that?

What?

-[sirens in the distance]

-Is that sirens?

Yeah.

They sound like they're far away, though.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on.

In the RV.

-[Ricky]

Come on, buddy.

-[Lahey]

Hey, Julian.

Jacob's really not feeling very well, boys.

He's going...

Get the f*ck in!

Get the f*ck in!

-Everybody in.

-What are we doing?

-[Ricky]

We're not taking them.

-[Julian]

Get in!

-[Ricky]

f*ck!

-[Julian]

Let's go!

-[Bubbles]

Let's blow up another one!

-[Julian]

Get the f*ck in here, Bubbles!

Julian, what the f*ck is going on here?

I don't know.

Just give me a second to think.

Well, why are we f*cking leaving?

Like, we didn't really do anything wrong.

And is this cop...

What's this?

Is this here for us?

Holy f*ck.

-Julian?

-What?

Bubs, just give me a f*cking second here!

Am I f*cking driving or are we pulling over?

-What is happening?

-Keep f*cking driving.

-Where the f*ck am I going?

-Ricky, just pull over.

No.

Keep driving until I f*cking sort this out.

[Bubbles]

What do you mean sort it out?

Sort what out?

All right.

Candy called me earlier.

She said it was f*cking...

something about me being involved with the Japanese mafia or something.

I think it has something to do with the mushroom deal.

Oh, do you f*cking think, Einstein?

-And there's f*cking more cops coming?

-[sirens blaring]

You didn't think to mention this?

Look at them, they're f*cking coming in hot.

-f*ck!

-Pull this the f*ck over right now, Ricky!

I'm not f*cking pulling over now.

It's three f*cking cop cars, Bubs.

You know what?

We can outrun them.

We got the perfect buzz on for this.

Ricky, we cannot outrun f*cking three cops -in this old f*cking piece of sh*t!

-Yes, we can.

We just need to make it to Moncton, cross the f*cking border and we'll hide out in Moncton.

They can't f*cking touch us there.

Oh, we're making a run for the county line, are we, Ricky?

This isn't f*cking Porky's!

Pull the f*cking thing over.

-Bubs, I can f*cking outrun them.

-[Julian]

Just punch it.

-[engine roaring]

-Ricky!

So I said to him, "I don't think that's gonna fit in there." -[breaking news music on TV]

-[laughter]

[Sarah]

Holy f*cking sh*t!

Trinity!

[Steve Rogers]

Police are now in pursuit of four suspects believed to be involved in the drug bust in Halifax Pier yesterday involving psilocybin mushrooms en route to Japan.

Hey, I think we lost them, boys.

Good driving, Rickles.

Well, hopefully they just f*cking pulled back for safety reasons.

Watch the bumps, eh, boys.

I'm really hurting down here.

-[Cory]

Here dude.

-[Ricky]

Are you okay, Jacob?

-The f*ck is that?

-[helicopter whirring]

[Bubbles]

Jesus f*ck!

There's a Channel 10 news chopper!

How?

I thought we f*cking sh*t it down with your rocket.

-You did?

-Oh, my f*ck, no, -they must have got a new one.

-[Ricky]

What?

-It is nice!

-[Julian]

Ricky!

Rick-Rick-Rick...

-[clattering]

-[mixed shouting]

[Bubbles]

Holy f*ck, Ricky!

[Jacob moaning]

[Bubbles]

Ricky!

[Julian]

That way, that way, that way!

Dead end up here.

Dead end!

Take a...

Do a U-ey!

-Where am I going?

Where?

-[Julian]

Just do a f*cking U-ey!

[Bubbles]

Ricky, what in the f*ck are you doing?

[various]

Right!

Right!

Right!

Ricky!

-[crashing]

-[Jacob groaning, moaning]

[Julian]

Over this way!

Over this way!

Back on the path!

Ricky!

[Bubbles]

Ricky, you hit every f*cking thing in the park!

What the f*ck did they do?

Put all this sh*t right in the f*cking middle?

-Oh f*ck!

Cop, cop!

-[Bubbles whimpering]

-Oh, we're f*cked, boys!

-[officer]

Stop the vehicle!

Stop!

-[Julian]

Just pull over.

-[Ricky]

How you doing?

[officer]

Pull that f*cking thing over!

[Steve Rogers]

A dramatic chase unfolding that Steve Rogers will continue to report on despite a crippling fear of being back in the news chopper after that horrendous crash several weeks back.

-f*ck!

-Those f*cking idiots.

-What a bunch of A-holes.

-Ugh.

[Steve Rogers]

New information just coming in.

The RV apparently belongs to Bubbles of the Sunnyvale...

[Bubbles]

Oh my f*ck, they named me!

...in crime, Ricky and Julian, are said to be on board as well.

Police now saying that the dr*gs, had they hit the streets of Japan, would have been worth well over a million dollars.

What?

A million dollars?

I knew that f*cking guy was f*cking ripping us off!

[Julian]

Turn this sh*t off.

[Bubbles]

Ricky, just pull over, please.

Let's just face the f*cking music.

It's a little more complicated than that, Bubs.

Look, we're almost at the highway.

It's pretty much a straight sh*t to Moncton from there.

Why are you still trying to get to f*cking Moncton?

[on radio]

Dispatch, get this chopper out of here.

-[Ricky]

They still back there?

-[horns honking]

Oh, yeah, we've got f*cking people cheering us on like f*cking O.J.

now?

Thank f*ck the traffic's not dreadlocked.

We'd be really f*cked.

We're almost at the f*cking highway, boys.

We're gonna make it!

[Bubbles]

We're gonna make it, are we, Ricky?

f*ck.

It's one of those circley things.

What the f*ck do you do with these?

Go, stay to the right, go around it, Ricky!

-The circle or...?

-Go around the circle.

-[Jacob]

Don't go too fast.

-[Cory]

Dude man, if you go backwards you could lose the chopper, 'cause choppers don't go backwards.

[helicopter whirring]

[man on radio]

Dispatch in pursuit of a silver RV on Chipper Drive.

-It's your f*cking fault, Julian!

-Why is it my fault?

-Why do I listen to you?

-We all agreed to do this.

Stop f*cking trying to get around me!

-f*ck off!

-[Lahey]

sh*t!

[Bubbles]

Ricky!

Ricky!

Get back in the f*cking vehicle, Ricky!

[Julian]

...over this way.

He's gonna pass.

Over this way.

-[siren buzzing]

-[Bubbles]

Jesus Murphy.

[Julian]

Roadblock.

What the f*ck are we gonna do here?

-f*ck's sakes...

-Correction.

Half block.

[laughs]

You f*cking idiot!

-[Bubbles]

Ricky!

-[tires hissing]

[shouting]

f*ck's sakes!

This f*cking piece of sh*t must have shitty tires!

Every one of 'em just f*cking blew at once!

Just pull over, Ricky.

We're on f*cking rims.

We can make it still!

Ricky, you name one person on "Cops" you ever saw make it on f*cking rims.

I don't know their f*cking names but...

I've seen't them f*cking do it!

f*ck!

-[Bubbles]

f*ck.

-[Julian]

sh*t!

[man on speaker]

This is the Sunnyvale Police Department.

We have you surrounded.

Come out with your hands up.

All right, everybody calm the f*ck down for a second here!

Just give us a second.

I think I can get us out of this, boys.

-Just f*cking stay with me here.

-Oh, f*ck.

My name is J.P. Cormier.

I've got my son-of-law in here.

He f*cking pretty much snapped his neck in f*cking half!

It's broken big time!

I didn't know you guys were following me till right now, okay?

Coming out.

Give us a second.

It's all good here.

[man]

Get out of the vehicle with your hands up now!

Our f*cking whole lives down the tubes!

[Julian]

Don't worry.

I'll take the heat for everything.

f*ck...

Don't worry about it, Bubs.

Your life's not gonna change a bit, believe me.

Oh yeah?

You don't think my life changes if you go to jail?

That's the part you guys don't seem to understand.

Let's just go out and f*cking deal with this.

Maybe we'll just get a warning if they don't have any f*cking evidence.

Get the f*ck out of the way, Jacob.

This isn't all about you, okay?

It's not quite that simple unfortunately, buddy.

-[groaning]

-[Bubbles]

What are you talking about?

-f*ck's sakes.

-Oh, my f*cking f*ck, Ricky!

Are you out of your mind?

Ricky, why didn't you f*cking tell us about those?

Because I was saving it for an end-of-the-night surprise, all right?

I was gonna keep the party going with them.

Why didn't you tell us when we were moving?

We could have dumped the f*cking things.

'Cause I thought we were gonna get away.

Wouldn't have anything to celebrate with then!

There must be f*cking toilet.

Flush the f*cking things.

Ricky, we're in a f*cking RV.

You can't flush anything, it'll just go in the t*nk.

You know that they could just f*cking...

they can put these under a microscope and match them up to the ones from the bust.

We're f*cked!

That's it, boys.

Freedom 35 just turned into Incarceration 100.

Well, there's only one thing left to do.

We're gonna have to eat the f*cking things.

Eat them?

There's enough of those f*cking things to take down a moose!

Yeah.

There's a lot.

There is.

But we could f*cking do it.

We can't eat them.

We'll die.

We're f*cked.

No, we totally can, dude.

Back in the day, I ate like a ton, a ton of 'shrooms.

Yeah, did you ever think maybe that's why you're f*cked in the head, Cory?

[man]

It's over, boys.

Come out with your hands up.

What are we gonna do, boys?

Well, that depends on how bad we want f*cking Freedom 35 here.

It's not just about us anymore.

It's about the entire future of everybody back at the park.

-Well, I'm in.

-I'm in.

[Jacob]

Ah, man.

I guess so.

Mr.

Lahey?

We're in.

[Julian]

And I'm in.

What do you say, Bubs?

Huh?

Well, f*ck it.

I guess I'm in too.

All right, we're coming out.

Just give us a couple of minutes.

We're dealing with a f*cking guy with a broken neck and a guy with a f*cked-up brain!

But we are coming out.

-[Bubbles]

To the future, boys.

-[Julian]

Give me some.

-Oh, my God!

-[Julian]

Oh, my f*ck.

[Bubbles]

Just eat 'em, boys.

[Cory gagging]

[Julian]

These are f*cking disgusting!

Ah, gross, dude!

Boys, if you mash them into a ball, they're not so bad.

Make a little mushroom ball and just pretend it's...

a nice risotto or somethin'.

Come on, Bubbles.

Come on, keep it together.

Keep it together.

You can do this.

Julian, how long has it been since we ate the f*cking things?

I don't know.

20, 30 minutes maybe.

I'm not in the right frame of mind for this.

That's the problem.

Yeah, listen.

You can't be scared or you're definitely gonna have a f*cking bad trip and be dealing with demons and f*cking zombies and bugs trying to f*cking claw your eyes-- Ricky, Ricky, Ricky!

Stop it!

You're making it worse.

Are you feeling all right, Mr. Lahey?

Yeah, I feel okay.

How about you?

I think so.

Would we be talking about this if we were...

frigged up?

[Lahey giggling]

I don't know!

[Steinberg]

Gentlemen, I've got good news and bad news.

Or what I would say, more like...

okay news, semi-okay news or-- -What's the f*cking news?

-Oh yeah, okay.

I think we're gonna be okay on the drug charges.

Yes!

Yeah.

Tommy did, in fact, rat you guys out, but there's no hard evidence linking you guys to it.

So I'm pretty confident I can b*at that.

-But it's not gonna be cheap.

-What about the other sh*t?

Well, the evading the police, uh, damage to public and private property, et cetera, et cetera.

Now you're probably gonna have to eat that.

But, hey, at least no one got hurt, right?

[Jacob]

My neck got broken actually.

[Steinberg]

Ooh.

Nice.

Might be able to use that to our advantage.

-[Ricky]

Good job, buddy!

-What?

Okay, thanks, man.

Just keep us in the loop -if anything comes up, all right?

-Yeah.

We should talk fees.

We'll talk fees, okay?

But not right now.

And you better not f*cking f*ck me over again.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I'll be in touch.

[Bubbles whimpering]

Julian...

Julian, I'm definitely starting to notice -that I'm not right.

-Go with it.

Just go with it.

I'm not right.

I'm starting to feel...

How long does it take for them to totally kick in?

[Ricky]

I think they just did, boys.

[Bubbles screaming]

Ricky!

Holy f*ck!

Was I f*cked?

I feel like a cartoon!

-[Bubbles whimpering]

-[Ricky]

Oh my God!

-This is f*cking amazing.

-Ricky...

-You guys gotta try this!

-[Cory]

You're spreading it, dude!

-Ricky!

-You guys seeing this too?

-[Bubbles]

Ah, stop it, Ricky!

-[Randy]

I'll protect you, Mr. Lahey.

[Ricky]

I hope this never f*cking ends!

[mixed moaning, whimpering]

Aw, dudes, this is dope.

-We're cartoons!

-Boys...

we're f*cked.

[Ricky]

Yeah-h-h!

Yes!

You know what the best currency is?

And I just thought about this yesterday.

The best currency, the most valuable of all, is gratitude.

And if...

When you're dead, you're dead, but you're not quite so dead if you contribute something.

[theme music]

[seagulls squawking]

[fish]

f*ck!

f*ck!

f*ck off!

f*ck!...

f*ck off!

Jesus Christ!

[whisper]

f*ck.

-[light clicks off]

-f*ck off.