08x19 - My Finale (2)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Scrubs". Aired: October 2001 to March 2010.*
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A doctor works at a hospital with unpredictable staffers and patients.
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08x19 - My Finale (2)

Post by bunniefuu »

J.D.: Previously on Scrubs...

- How'd you sleep?
- Really well, actually.

I knew it. You want to know why?
This is my bed.

I had it brought here
because it's so comfortable.

So we live together.

Kind of, I guess.

You are sneak-moving-in!

Your ears are playing tricks.

And, J.D., people should make a big
deal about you leaving Sacred Heart.

But don't be disappointed

if it doesn't live up to the expectations
you have in your head, okay?

It's also the penny that
you put in the door eight years ago.

For the last time,
I did not put a penny in the door.

Admit it!

Huntington's is caused by
a faulty gene.

And since your mother has it,

you have a - chance
of having it, too.

Newbie, I know that you want this to be
a very special day for the both of us.

I get that. I truly do.

You want feelings to be shared
and you want hugs to flow.

But that is not now, nor has it ever been
who I am, and you know that.

How could Dan not want to know
if he has Huntington's disease?

Maybe he's in denial.
I mean, if it were me, I'd be going crazy.

I'm going to go talk to him.

I implore you,

please do the one thing
that I am beyond confident

that you know how to do. Nothing.
Do nothing.

It is the patient's decision.

Has Perry told you
how he feels about you yet?

No, and he says he's not going to.

Well, just wait him out.
You'll b*at him in the end.

Un... Let it arrive. Acceptable.
Unacceptable.

- You love torturing him, don't you?
- I do.

How come you never tortured me,
you know, like, when I first started?

You were Bambi. Somebody had
to teach you how to walk.

Thank you for that.

For being my teacher.

No problem.

Is there anything I can do
to repay the favor?

Tell me my husband loves me
more than he loves you.

It's about the same.

I'll take it.

I'm going to miss you, Bambi.

I'm going to miss you, too.

- Why are you stopping?
- Why are you stopping?

- I don't want to say.
- Just say.

Let's face it.
We said goodbye too early.

I don't think I've got another hug in me.

Honest to God, I never thought
I'd hear you say that.

How could I ever not want to hug you?
Has the world gone mad?

This is crazy. We can do this.

You're absolutely right, buddy.
Come here.

- Nope. Not feeling it.
- You smell like regret. Let it go.

Young lady, are you responsible
for jamming those elevator doors?

- No, good sir, I am not.
- Tell the truth.

Okay, I did it, but it was an accident.

That's okay, because you came clean.

And here's $ to buy some ice cream.

This is stupid.
He blackmailed me into doing this.

No improv-ing.
Give me the money back.

No. My script says to rip it up
and walk away dramatically.

She was supposed to be
my long-Iost sister.

- Were you getting that?
- Look, it's been a very long day.

Well, long days are like pancakes...
Admit it!

Fine! I put a penny in the door!
It was eight years ago.

- What do you know? It finally worked.
- It was an accident.

It fell out of my pocket
and rolled into the door.

It was my first day.
I didn't want you to be mad.

- Do you believe me?
- Yeah. I saw it happen.

If you saw it happen,
then why did you ask me back then

- if I put a penny in the door?
- It was a test of character.

You failed, and you lost out
on a wonderful friendship.

We could still be friends.

I can't do this all on my own

No, I know

I'm no Superman

I'm no Superman

So you're actually going to
stop working around here?

That's right, Ted.

So you're actually going to
stop working around...

- Thanks.
- No worries.

Did you know it's Dr. Dorian's last day?

You should give him a hug
and share your feelings about him.

- Do you think you're funny?
- Funny-Iooking! Pow!

Hey, you. I'm trying to develop
a sentimental side,

you know, for my stupid kids,
and you and I did it once, so...

- Take care.
- Thanks, Jordan.

So you're actually going to
stop working around here?

Ted, come here.
I need to be horrible to someone.

Well, that's weird, that you came.

Ah, you seem like you need it.

I'm super-sensitive
about my skin today.

Focus on that.

- It looks really blotchy.
- Yeah, and check this thing out.

- Did you pick that?
- No, it did it by itself!

I want to touch it, but I don't!

Did you just page me to ask me

how much ibuprofen to give
Mrs. Lenzner here?

Well, I was worried
it would exacerbate the patient's...

It's ibuprofen! Here's what you do.

When she wakes up, get her
to open her mouth nice and wide,

then get some of those ibuprofen pills
in your hands and throw them at her.

Whatever sticks in there,
that's the correct dosage.

- And the cycle repeats, huh?
- Beg your pardon?

You yelled at me for the very
same thing when I was an intern.

I'm going to go ahead and jot that down

as one of the most fascinating
tidbits of the day.

J.D.: So maybe that's
who Perry Ulysses Cox is.

A gruff, insensitive teacher.

And after everything we went through,
if I'm still just another student to him,

it doesn't mean I should be
any less grateful.

Thank you for everything, Dr. Cox.

Keep moving.

J.D.: I expected that.
I didn't expect this.

- We're sorry.
- We're sorry.

About what?

- I blew my goodbye.
- The whole moving-in thing.

- I did it too early, and now I can't hug...
- I totally blew it, because...

Guys, can you not talk simultaneously?

- I can, but I'm not sure she can.
- I can, but I'm not sure he can.

- That was awesome!
- That was awesome!

Turk, your goodbye was great.

And Elliot, I told you to move stuff in

because I want you to be there
all the time.

I subletted my house.

- That's aggressive.
- I can't help it, I lost my mind.

Still, guys, I want you to know,
we're all good, okay?

- Thanks.
- Okay.

J.D.: I understood their neediness,
because I'm feeling it myself.

And I know what's causing it.
The future.

I wanted to know what was next.

Whether we would make it
as a couple.

Whether I would stay tight
with my friend.

Whether he'll even miss me
when I'm gone.

Hey.

Hey. Where's your mom?

They wheeled her out in her bed
to get some kind of scan.

- I should probably go check on her.
- Before you go, I gotta ask,

why aren't you gonna get that test?

I don't know.

I still might, you know,
in the next few years or days.

But right now, if I found out

that I was eventually going to die
from something...

Once you learn that information,
you can't unlearn it.

And this way, my future's still mine.

It can be whatever I want it to be.

- Does that make sense?
- Yeah.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

J.D.: My last chart.

So your shift is officially over,
and that'll do it.

Nice knowing you, John Dorian.

It was nice knowing you, too...

- What is your name?
- Glen Matthews.

- Well, that was easy.
- Yeah, it's easy now.

When I was a kid,
I had a horrible impediment.

I'd say "Gen Maffewf."

I'm glad I wasn't there
during those times.

Yeah, I would've torn you to "pieffeff."

- Why would you tell me now?
- It's the first time you've asked.

- No, it's not.
- Pretty sure it is.

I've been here for eight years,
and I don't know your name.

I call you "The Janitor." I'm sure
I have asked you what your name is.

- I don't think so.
- Really?

People don't want to know
a janitor's name.

You've probably forgotten
my name already.

- Glen.
- Glen.

Maffewf.

Well, then, so long, Glen Matthews.

So long.

- Hey, Tommy.
- What's up?

- Adiós.
- See you.

J.D.: Things rarely go exactly
the way you want them to,

so sometimes you make do
with whatever you can get.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Ah, he's finally gone. Talk about making
a big deal over nothing, you know?

I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was
no better than any other doctor.

For the record, he was the best
that ever came through this dump.

John Dorian was the first
and only doctor I ever met

who cared as much as I do,

and you can forget about him
being just an exceptional physician.

Because the fact of the matter is,
he was...

He's a damn exceptional person.

That's why people gravitated to him.
It's why I did.

He was my friend.

Thank you, God. That was beautiful.

Oh, God, no.

It's okay, Perry.
You just said how you feel.

Honestly, I am so full
of your love right now,

I literally could not take another drop.

Brace yourself. I'm coming in.

You smell like a father figure.


Oh! Please stop.

J.D.: Mmm.

Great job, Sunny.
You said your line perfectly.

Ah, thanks. I worked on it.

I knew it would set you off.

Good night, best friend.

He thinks I'm an exceptional...

...person!

You realize that even though
he gets to leave, you have to stay?

- I didn't think that out.
- No. You didn't.

J.D.: Endings are never easy.

I always build them up
so much in my head,

they can't possibly live up
to my expectations,

and I just end up disappointed.

I'm not even sure why it matters to me
so much how things end here.

I guess it's because
we all want to believe

that what we do is very important,

that people hang on to our every word,
that they care what we think.

The truth is,
you should consider yourself lucky

if you even occasionally get to make
someone, anyone, feel a little better.

After that, it's all about the people
that you let into your life,

and as my mind drifted to faces
I've seen here before,

I was taken to memories of family...

Hey, little brother.

Of coworkers...

Goodbye five from the Big Dog.

Of lost loves...

You never called.

I miss you.

Even of those who've left us.

There you are!

Hi, tiger.

And as I rounded that corner,
they all came at me

in a wave of shared experience.

Keep it holy, Q-tip.

Boing, fwap

I broke my penis again,
but this time it was fun.

Take care, bra. Take real good care.

I didn't k*ll her.

Way to leave a cherry gig, bra.

I got me some white meat.

Key party later.
There will be prostitutes.

Did you ever go on that picnic?
Make sure you do.

I hate you so much, J.D.

It's like a baguette.

Hooch is crazy.

J.D.: And even though it felt warm
and safe, I knew it had to end.

It's never good
to live in the past too long.

As for the future, thanks to Dan,
it didn't seem so scary anymore.

It could be whatever I want it to be.

The book of love
is long and boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It's full of charts and facts and figures

and instructions for dancing

But I

I love it when you read to me

And you

You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it

In fact that's where music comes from

Some of it is just transcendental

Some of it is just really dumb

But I

I love it when you sing to me

And you

You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring

And written very long ago

It's full of flowers
and heart-shaped boxes

And things we're all too young to know

But I

I love it when you give me things

And you

You ought to give me wedding rings

And I

I love it when you give me things

And you

You ought to give me wedding rings

You ought to give me wedding rings

J.D.: And who's to say
this isn't what happens?

Who can tell me that my fantasies
won't come true, just this once?

Good night.

Good night.

Out the door just in time

- Hey! Say "Action."
- Action.

Gotta meet the new boss by a.m.

The phone rings in the car

The wife is workin' hard

She's running late tonight again

Well, I know what I've been told

Whoa!

I want to touch it, but I don't!

Eighteen hos, take one. Mark.

I'm no Superman

You've got your love online

Oh, that's funny, because
we were bowling the other night,

and he says, "Man, no one ever
says my name right,"

and I says to him, I says, "Muh,
you got two bigger problems than that.

"One of them is that seven-ten split
that you left for yourself,

"and another one is,
how about trying to write a movie

"without a big twist ending?"

He says, "What's with the accent?"

I said, "What d'you mean?
This is just how I grew up."

He says,
"I'm going to put you in a movie."

I said, "Okay."

Then we're on a hayride later,
and he makes a monkey face.

I said, "What in the world is this?"

He says,
"Hey, man, welcome to the big time,"

and he slaps me across the face.

Why, I didn't know whether to .
Or write a screenplay.

Zach, just hit him.
Zach, hit him. Hit him. Good God.

Just hit him. Come on.
Come on. Hit him.

You got me, you got me!

J.D. AND ELLIOT:
Gabby only listen on Fridays

She doesn't really

Oh, my God, you're listening.

That's a wrap
for Donald and Sarah.

You've crossed the finish line

Won the race but lost your mind

Was it worth it...

I'm going to miss you.

Cut, check.

That's a season wrap on Judy Reyes.

Oh. Mmm.

- I'm going to miss you so much.
- Yeah, well, you...

- Yeah?
- Mmm. Let me get one of these.

Oh, yeah, one of those?
Is that what you need?

All right, Donald.

- Camera set?
- Yeah.

Cut. Check it.

Hey, that's a season wrap on Zach Braff.

Blanks, we're going hugs.
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