01x06 - Skate-a-Rooney

[bunniefuu]

Bingo!

Bonanza!

Big news.

My boyfriend's coming to town.

- Boyfriend?!

- Boyfriend Boyfriend.

Liv's been long-distance dating Miller White The world-class skateboarder with the famous ponytail.

He pulled off the first ever nose-grab five forty hand-plant.

Impressive.

But can he drain a buzzer-beater from half court at Regionals?

Bam!

What?!

Why is Miller White coming to Stevens Point, Wisconsin?

Oh, to see me, myself and I.

He's skateboarding in a competition downtown this weekend, and get this; His sponsor, "Flip Kick Magazine," asked me to be a celebrity Judge.

Liv, you are Many things But seriously?

The Judge of a skateboarding competition?

Celebrity Judge.

Emphasis on Celebrity.

Hey, I have skateboarding cred.

You're forgetting, not only am I the star of Sing it loud!

I'm also the star of the highest-grossing skateboarding bank robber movie ever.

In between seasons of Sing it loud!

Liv starred in a movie called "The Skateboard Bandit".

A girl, a bag of loot, a skateboard.

She'll take your money and steal your heart.

Liv, you do know that being in a skateboarding movie doesn't actually qualify you to Judge skateboarders.

Well, the good people at "Flip Kick Magazine" think differently.

I'm picking my credentials up Saturday morning, and you can come with me if you want to meet Miller.

Ugh, I can't.

Early morning basketball practice compliments of Coach dad.

What?

No, Maddie, I need you with me to run interference.

When the family knows that Miller's in town, they're gonna want to meet him and then they're gonna completely embarr-a-blast me.

These people have been embarrassing me for the past four years.

Your turn now, Hollywood.

Better in stereo.

B b better in stereo.

- I'm up with the sunshine.

- Let's go.

- I lace up my high tops.

- Oh no.

- Slam dunk.

- Ready or not.

Yeah, show me what you got.

- I'm under the spotlight.

- Holler.

I dare you, come on and follow.

You dance to your own b*at.

I'll sing the melody.

When you say yea-ah-ah.

I say no-oh-oh.

When you say stop.

All I want to do is go, go, go.

You, you, the other half of me, me.

The half I'll never be.

The half that drives me crazy.

You, you, the better half of me, me.

The half I'll always need.

But we both know.

We're better in stereo Look at that ponytail fly, Parker.

Can you believe we are actually breathing the same air as Miller White?

Ooh.

Some little kid left his skateboard.

We should bring it to lost and found.

No no no!

Don't touch that!

That is Stanley.

It's Miller White's first skateboard.

He built it himself when he was eight.

He takes it with him everywhere.

I wish I was Stanley.

Okay, got my Judge's badge.

Let's get out of here, people, before anymore damage to my relationship is done.

No, honey, I want to meet your boyfriend.

This is just the kind of thing that we missed out on when you were in Hollywood.

You'll introduce us, he'll be nervous But I will settle him down and let him know that I'm not just your mom.

I'm also your super-cool friend.

Great, pal.

But let's get going.

Miller's practicing and he's totally slammed.

Doesn't even have a sec to say hey.

Hey!

- Miller.

- Hey, cute-sicle.

Oh, is this the fam?

Hi, I'm Karen, cute-sicle's mom.

Oh, you're the psychologist.

Can you see my future?

You're thinking of a psychic.

Wow, you are good.

I totally was!

They brought Miller in to teach me how to skateboard for my new movie.

They would not have brought him in to teach me rocket science.

Or simple math.

Little guy's Parker, and I'm Joey The misunderstood ladies man.

Whoa.

So this is your identical twin, huh?

No.

Maddie's coming later.

She's a blonde.

And a girl.

Cool.

Hey dude, ever tried to grow a ponytail?

It's pretty sick.

Woo!

Kinda got this look I'm locked into here.

Cool.

Uh, would you excuse us?

We have some super top secret skate biz to attend to.

Bye, Miller.

- Thanks for being so sweet with my fam.

- Oh, no prob.

I have one too.

You look really great by the way.

It's so nice to see you in the reals.

It's nice to be seen in the reals.

Oh Someone wants to say hey.

Hey!

Miller, I dig you, but I'm not saying "hey" to your skateboard.

That's cool.

I don't want you talking to other dudes.

Well hey, I gotta go practice, but I'll see you later tonight?

- You gonna shine bright?

- Like a diamond.

I'm gonna walk away now.

- Not if I walk away first.

- Oh oh oh oh.

- All right.

- Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Okay, people!

The competition starts in four hours which leaves me only three and a half to figure out what I'm gonna wear.

Wait, we have to leave already?

We just got here.

Can't we stay and watch practice?

All right, but no spitting, hitting or yelling.

And if you get into any trouble, your last name is not Rooney.

It is Johnson.

Okay.

What do you guys think?

Is Miller gonna like this?

Does it say fantasta-licious with a touch of bling-a-ding-ding?

I stopped having an opinion like 12 bling-a-ding-dings ago.

You know my vote.

If a boyfriend's around, go with sweatpants and a baggy shirt.

- You can go now, dad.

- Yes!

Lacking any style pays off again.

I tried to teach mom what an app was last week, and that was less grueling than this.

Oh!

It's Miller.

Oh, his texts are like poetry.

"Hey cute-sicle, loved our fly-by this afternoon".

"Fly-by" adorbs!

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm breaking up with you".

"It's not you, it's me".

"Well, me and Stanley".

Liv, I'm so sorry.

You know, just because I'm a dad doesn't mean I can't handle girl stuff.

Ooh.

Crying.

I'll get mom.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Maddie told me the bad news.

Honey, I'm so so sorry.

You know, as any good psychologist knows, there's only two ways you ever really feel when someone breaks up with you.

Sad or mad.

If you're feeling sad I have the hugging pillow.

Mm!

And if you're feeling mad, I have the punching pillow.

Now when I was dating your father, I used both of them.

Constantly.

Miller text-dumped you?

Who does that?

What a jerk!

But he used ocean body spray.

He always smelled like the beach.

I love the beach.

He ruined the beach!

I've been kicked to the curb.

And we're back to the hugger.

That is a great rhythm you got going there.

Whoa!

Oh, the Masked Shredder!

They say he wears the mask because he's taken so many falls that he doesn't even have a face.

And he will shred anything.

Because he's the craziest guy in the circuit.

He is known for his wipeouts.

There's this one on the Internet where he caught so much air he took out a duck.

The Masked Shredder.

I have got to get a picture with him.

I'll put it in my locker, and it'll totally up my hallway cred.

But he's charging for pictures.

All right.

I guess we're doing the old sneak-and-snap.

I'll walk up behind him, give my patented cool guy face Then you snap our picture.

Okay.

But be careful.

He's a bad dude, and you're kind of a How do I say this?

Weak baby kitten.

It's go time.

You two, come with me.

I'm too young to die.

I'm even younger.

I can't believe this.

Joey Rooney?

Skippy Ramirez?

You're the Masked Shredder?

Sure am.

I have not seen you in years.

I know.

I just assumed you pretended to move away and stopped calling me.

Not that that's ever happened.

Wait.

The Masked Shredder knows my brother?

Joey was the first guy to get me on a skateboard.

My brother taught The Shredder how to skate?

Wait, is Joey not a total butt nugget?

I gotta warm-up.

Feel free to hang here and take whatever you want from my swag bag.

Just don't eat my lemon yogurt!

Ooh.

This must be bad.

Mom's got the pillows out.

Hey, Mads.

Okay.

You ready to go to that competition?

No way.

It'd just be too hard to face Miller.

Liv, don't do this, okay?

Don't let him win.

You are Liv Rooney, international teen sensation.

You shouldn't be in here moping, you should be out there sticking it to Miller.

I don't think I like that tone, Maddie.

You think you need punchy for a few minutes?

Mom, can we have some twin time please?

Oh, sure.

I was there for all but if you don't need me in this moment of crisis, I guess that's fine.

Liv, I am not gonna let you sit here feeling sorry for yourself.

We are going to march down to that skate park and hit Miller where it hurts.

We are?

I love it when you get all "Friday night lights" on me.

Keep talking.

Just don't spit so much.

We are going after the one thing Miller cares about most.

That stupid skateboard.

- Stanley!

- Yes.

Stanley's going down.

Faboosh.

We have a plan.

Which is so great because my outfit totally came together today.

Welcome, fans.

I'm Johnny Nimbus, your channel four meteorologist, sitting alongside professional skateboarder Spike Bickle.

But who cares about us, right?

You're here to see a real celebrity Judge.

And here she is, Liv Rooney!

She's the star of the hit summer blockbuster "The Skateboard Bandit," and Sing it loud.

- Did I do that right, Liv?

- Not even close, Johnny.

Fantastic.

Hey folks, I gotta tell you, I was checking out this Miller White earlier today and I think he is positively boss.

Liv, that word "boss," is that still hip?

Right up until the second you said it, Johnny.

Great stuff.

Hey fans, we're five minutes away Hey, Liv.

Hey, before you start judging, I need to talk to you.

- Oh no, I'm not who you think I am.

- Shh shh shh.

Move the finger or you lose the finger.

I know you're angry, but hear me out.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have dumped you.

I get all crazy before I skate and do stupid things.

But Any chance you'll take me back?

Oh, I see.

You just text-dump a girl and then you suddenly remember she's a Judge at your competition so you suddenly ask her to take you back?

Well, not happening.

Step it, Miller.

Bam!

What?!

Dudes, a little help?

Okay.

Um, Skippy?

What's wrong?

I sprained my ankle doing a Gangnam Style.

You're up next.

How are you gonna compete?

I'm not.

I hate to let my fans down, but I guess I'm out of the competition.

Then let Joey take your place.

Wait, what?

Just wear the mask.

Nobody will know.

Little dude's right.

You can do this.

You're the one who taught me how to skate.

I was four.

We were sitting on the board eating animal crackers and I accidentally rolled down the driveway.

Skippy, since we parted I've focused more on the sedentary video game angle of skateboarding.

Joey, you don't have to win.

That's not what my fans look for.

You just have to wipe out so huge that you go viral.

Or if you guys hold the ropes, I can wow the crowd with my double-dutch skills.

Dude, if the Masked Shredder wants you to skate for him, you gotta do it.

For the fans.

For me.

Parker never looked at me that way before.

I wasn't gonna let him down.

Even though it meant I would likely die.

You're The Shredder now.

Shred on!

I am totally going to dominate.

Can someone teach me how to work the voice thingy?

And coming up next ooh, the Masked Shredder.

All right, dude, remember.

You are The Shredder.

So the crowd's here to watch you wipe out.

But before you do, you've got to put on a show.

Okay, catch some air, Kickflip into a no-comply, turn that into a pop-shove it, wave to the audience and wrap it with a McTwist.

Simple.

Question, am I allowed to do this sitting?

Animal crackers style.

You're hilarious.

Oh my!

The Masked Shredder just shredded himself like a pork sandwich.

Nailed it.

Hey, extreme sports fans, get ready to blow the roof off the Mega Extreme Sports Complex.

Because entering the arena is the reason we're all here.

The man, the myth, the Miller White!

Hey!

Ah, there it is.

The familiar sight of Miller White marching around with his good luck board, Stanley.

Liv, isn't Miller White something?

Oh yeah, Johnny.

He's definitely something.

Yeah, that's right.

Kiss that skateboard.

Kiss it good-bye.

Bam!

What?!

Why are you "bam what"-ing?

Are you and your sister up to something?

Let's just say that text-dumper's about to be cut down to size.

Oh honey, I know it's tempting to want to strike back, but it never feels as good as you think it will.

No mom, you don't get it.

He hurt my sister.

He's a jerk.

Oh no, I do get it.

When my high school boyfriend broke up with me, I tap danced all over his precious muscle car in high heels.

Oh, it felt good for about five seconds, but to this day, every time I put on heels I feel ashamed.

You know, who knows?

Maybe Miller's gonna realize he made a mistake and apologize.

That's how you know he's a nice guy.

All right.

Miller White looks ready to go.

The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up straight.

Probably because they're not a luscious shimmering ponytail like Miller White has.

You're catching what I'm laying down, aren't you, Spike Bickle?

Oh!

There it is folks, the patented ponytail wave.

That means Miller White's ready to get crazy.

Hold on there, Johnny.

Before Miller takes his run I have a special presentation for him.

Ooh!

Do I smell a song coming on?

You sure do, Johnny.

It's a lullaby.

For Stanley.

Whoa, Liv.

What are you doing with Stanley?

Teaching you a lesson.

Text-dumping is uncool.

So much better to do it in person when you can have a clean break!

- No!

- Stop!

- Maddie, what are you doing?

- Stopping you from making a huge mistake.

Miller apologized.

He thought I was you.

Wait.

This is your identical twin?

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

This just in, folks, due to her actions here today, "Flip Kick Magazine" has disqualified Liv Rooney as a Judge in this competition.

How crazy-pants do you have to be to get kicked out of this dog and pony show, folks?

Hey, fans, how do you feel about Liv Rooney?

Boo!

Boo!

- What are we booing?

- Your daughter.

Miller apologized and you didn't tell me?

Liv, I was protecting you.

I mean, I thought if he was a jerk then he'd never change, but Who knows, maybe he's just a great guy who did a really dumb thing.

He said he was sorry and he wants to get back together with you.

He did the right thing, he just did it to the wrong girl.

Miller, I'm sorry.

And if you want to get back together, I say we give it a try?

Nah, I didn't really mean that.

- What?

- What?

Well, after I dumped you, I realized that you could ruin my scores.

So I apologized and strung you along so I could win.

But you're not a Judge anymore, so um Don't be a hater, see you later.

Wait a minute.

What's she doing with those scissors?

Oh no!

Ponytail down!

Ponytail down!

My ponytail.

You cut off my ponytail.

- Did you just?

- I did.

This is why we punch the pillows.

Okay, like way more to your right.

Like way more.

Okay, now back a little bit.

Tiny bit to your left.

Up a little bit.

Perfect.

I can't believe Miller let us keep that.

See?

Being grounded isn't gonna be so bad.

These two weeks are just gonna fly by.

- How long has it been?

- 15 minutes.

How are you doing on the whole breakup thing?

Still hurting, but I'm gonna get over it eventually.

Will it make you feel better if we watch "The Skateboard Bandit"?

Are you serious?

Maddie, you're the best sister ever.

Wait.

We're grounded.

Mom and dad aren't gonna let us watch anything.

Oh, Maddie, it doesn't matter.

I can act it out for you.

We open!

On a deserted bank a grungy street kid zooms by, on a skateboard.

She's pretty, but doesn't know it.

Oh, I'm pretty sure she knows it.

Whoa!

Dude, that was epic!

You out shredded The Shredder.

Your wipe out video has over a million hits already.

You're bigger than the dog that says "I love you".

Once again, Joey Rooney has schooled me.

Props to the master.

I would high five you, but I can not feel my arm.

Or see you very clearly.

- I'm proud of you munch.

- Thanks.

That means a lot dad.