04x02 - Vows Are Still Sacred

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Dynasty". Aired: October 2017 to present.*

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04x02 - Vows Are Still Sacred

Post by bunniefuu »



- Previously on Dynasty...

- What if I said


that I was responsible for my mother's death?

And what if your father knows all about this and he's trying to make me pay?

Shelly Duncan?

I do know Adam, and I'm afraid he might be dangerous.

BLAKE: I just sent the final signed contract, putting up my personal assets as collateral.

Eric's logic just sold us the loan.

I'm pretty sure that's the priest Cristal's been sleeping with.

[GASPING]

So, you still want to marry me tomorrow?

FALLON: Not only do I want to marry you but I want to be with you every day after that.

And I promise you that no one will ever tear us apart.

♪ Sun is shinin' on my shoulders ♪

- ♪ Oh, ooh ♪

- ♪ Never want it to be over ♪

♪ Gettin' caught up in the moment ♪

♪ Yeah, got me slowin' down the motion ♪

♪ I need this vibe forever, yeah ♪

♪ Hope this feeling never ends ♪

- ♪ With you, yeah. ♪

- [LAWN MOWER WHIRRING]

[GROANS LOUDLY]

Power gardening tools should never be turned on before : a.m.

Not even when it's for our wedding?

Oh, is that today?

Speaking of which, you have to get out of here before everyone realizes I slept with the groom pre-wedding and locusts start raining down upon us.

Well, after the rehearsal dinner from hell, I just...

- thought we weren't worrying about tradition anymore.

- Yeah.

I guess you're right.

With Sam performing the ceremony, we've pretty much tossed tradition out the window.

[SUCKS AIR THROUGH TEETH]

Are you... taking notes on our conversation?

I'm finishing my vows.

And since tradition's out the window,

- you want to hear a quick preview?

- No!

Absolutely not.

Some things are still sacred.

Plus, I don't want to be bored during the ceremony.

Quite the vote of confidence.

Thank you.

Aw.

Don't look so sad.

I'm sure whatever you wrote is great.

Now get out of here so I can finish mine.

Okay.

See you at the altar?

No kissing.

I need your office to send me proof of sale as well as evidence of shipping.

Great.

We have a deal.

Bang.

, more barrels secured.

- Where are we?

- ADAM: We are at .

million barrels.

- We need around two million to fill the order.

- [EXHALES]

So you're giving me all afternoon to lock down the last .

million?

Well, that's easy.

Really?

Where you gonna get it?

I know a supplier named Cliff Wilson.

Haven't tapped into him yet.

He could easily sell us enough oil to cover this.

We deliver the oil to Accordion, collect payment, repay the loan before it's due in... four hours and minutes.

Otherwise the bank's gonna start grabbing my personal assets.

- I don't think it'll get to that.

- [KNOCKING]

- Uh..

- Oh, right.

I need to get some...

eggs.

BLAKE: Hey there.

You're early.

You know the wedding's not for hours, right?

- [DOOR CLOSES]

- I hope you don't mind.

I came here to get dressed.

The rooms at La Mirage don't quite have the space I'm used to.

- And definitely not enough mirrors.

- Surprising, considering how much Sam loves to look at himself.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

We still have a long way to go before...

Yeah.

No, I know that.

And remember what we discussed about today.

It's all about the wedding.

No mention of priests or Van Kirks.

Exactly.

It's Fallon's day, not ours.

I'll see you later.

[DEPARTING FOOTSTEPS]

I always felt out of place in Wyoming, you know?

I mean...

I was an amazing line dancer.

But only because I had a huge crush on the cowboy

- who taught me.

- Cute.

- I practiced a lot.

- I thought you said you grew up in Ohio.

Mm-hmm.

I did.

Yeah, my mom and I moved to Wyoming when I was ten.

Where was your dad?

I thought they're still married.

They are.

Yeah, um, he...

stayed in New Orleans...

um, I mean Ohio for a few more-more months.

It was a long time ago.

Let's talk about you.

So, uh, you're officiating a wedding tonight.

You're excited?

Well, I'm not exactly in a "till death do us part" mood.

Oh.

I get it.

I mean, traditional weddings are pretty...

pretty corny.

When my brother...

You lied to me, Ryan.

You didn't get bumped off your flight, and you don't even have a new one booked home.

- How...

- I called the airline.

Wait, you called the airline?

That's...

Crazy?

No, crazy is lying about a law school visit just to swindle the first...

hot, mildly successful guy you meet.

You are a scammer, buddy.

Yes, I changed my flight.

But not to scam you.

- I just...

- You just what?

I was trying to make a romantic gesture.

And-and I only got flustered because I like you, okay?

But instead of telling me, you decided creating a web of lies was a better plan?

I was worried, Sam.

I mean...

come on, we-we got married, and I was only a little bit drunk.

I just...

I-I didn't want to come across as desperate or a stalker.

[SIGHS]

Look, I want to believe you.

But, um, I've experienced firsthand that once a liar, always a liar.

So, uh...

Yeah.

You should get going.

ADAM: So, his name's

- Cliff Wilson.

- [CLEARS THROAT]

He's about to sell Blake the final crude oil installment he needs to bring C.A. back.

But, I think, for the right price, he'd be willing to sell to you.

JEFF: Well, for the price we'll offer, Cliff should be willing to sell us his firstborn child.

Blake won't be able to get the oil he needs to fulfill his contract in time.

Be careful.

He knows he's racing against the clock.

Well, he can race all he wants.

We own the clock.

It's perfect.

Okay.

I'm going to help my daughter get married.

You two can handle this transaction?

- We got it.

- Mm.

Look at you guys, finally becoming friends.

Warms my heart.

- We're not friends.

- I know.

No.

[SIGHS]: Okay.

Mm.

Maybe.

What bride doesn't have her shoes picked out before the wedding day?

Well, I did.

But that's when the ceremony was in a church.

Different venue, different footwear.

Well, maybe you should just go barefoot so we don't miss the actual ceremony.

She does have a point.

Also, you'll be walking on grass now.

Maybe stilettos aren't the best idea?

FALLON: Oh, please.

All I need is the right Sherpa and lots of oxygen and I could climb Mount Everest in heels.

Okay?

I'm not trading beauty for comfort on my wedding day.

- Let me see those.

- Is there some kind of...

[EXHALES]

...wedding program that I can look at?

I don't want to mess things up in front of a crowd.

FALLON: Aw.

Preshow jitters are normal.

I remember when I played Fantine in Les Mis, I was always nervous preshow.

But once the curtain came up,

- I k*lled it.

- Les Mis?

Like on Broadway?

FALLON: Yeah, yeah.

Like on Broadway but, you know, in high school, which is, uh...

which is harder than Broadway.

Besides, you'll be great.

Oh, Liam and I will be reading our own vows.

Actually, I will be singing mine, assuming I finish writing them.

Speaking of, let me show you what I have.

- [GASPS]

- [cr*ck]

[SHOUTS]

Do you happen to remember who your understudy for Fantine was?

[SQUEAKS]

♪ - Does it hurt when I do this?

- Ow!

Yes!

Note to self, don't do that.

Maybe it's broken.

It's not broken.

[GASPING]

Okay.

But it's not great.

Oh.

I thought we were done with bad things happening.

This wedding is clearly cursed.

What if my whole life is cursed?

What if nothing good ever happens to me again?

- What if I peaked in high school?

- Fallon, you're spiraling.

And it's not good for your worry lines.

And where is Kirby with the ice?

Mm.

She's probably having a drink first.

- [SIGHS]

- Come on, let's get you up.

- Okay.

[WHIMPERING]

- Here we go.

Okay.

Let's get her sitting down.

I just was sitting down.

[MOANS, GRUNTS]

[EXHALES]

Great.

[SHUDDERS]

I made it two feet.

But unless we move the wedding to my bedroom,

- how am I gonna make it down the aisle?

- Well, Blake is walking you down the aisle.

Why don't you just...

use him as a crutch and go slow?

And you might want to...

rethink your shoe selection.

I am not wearing flats.

Not today.

Not ever.

I would rather crawl.

I just don't think Blake will be enough.

Well, he never was for me.

- Ew.

- Okay, Mother, do you think that you could possibly find the strength to put your differences with Blake aside for as long as it takes for you guys to help me hobble down the aisle?

Of course.

I was wondering why I wasn't doing it in the first place.

Way to make it about you.

Blake's not gonna be happy.

I'll handle Blake.

[GASPS, EXHALES]

But not right now.

Um, first, I have to finish my song.

- Can you escort me down to the piano?

- Yeah.

So I can keep writing it.

And, Mom, you stay here and, um...

try to come up with a rhyme for "publisher." [SHUDDERS]

Would you like to guess what I'm holding in my hand?

Uh... new apartment lease because you're moving out.

Cute.

This is a deed for all mineral rights underneath Carrington Manor, which I own...

well, the mineral rights, not the manor.

It was left in a safe-deposit box for me by our father, Thomas Carrington.

It's my daughter's wedding day.

Is there a point to this?

Yes.

While you may own the manor land, I own anything valuable under the land.

Rubies, emeralds, whatever.

But since I don't have the time or the money to start excavating, I'm offering you a chance to buy my rights.

For a suitable price, of course.

Suitable for who?

- I expect to be fairly compensated.

- Mm.

No one knows what treasures lie

- below the surface.

- Look, I never heard anything about my father splitting property rights or leaving you anything, so I think I'll politely pass on your offer.

I think that's a big mistake.

Well, I think I'll be okay.

I'm sorry to show up unannounced, especially on your sister's wedding day.

I just felt like we should talk about this in person.

Talk about what?

I...

I don't know why you're here in Atlanta.

A man named Joseph Anders came to see me in Montana, and he was asking a lot of questions about your mother.

- Such as...?

- He seemed to have suspected that you had some involvement in her overdose.

And I assume you told him that nothing could be further from the truth.

Well, I was very vague.

I mean, I do remember a few things that seemed suspicious, but I'm willing to forget them if he or the police asks again.

For a price, I assume.

Well, reimbursement for my travel, obviously.

And some spending money, since I'm retired now.

Uh, I really appreciate you bringing this to me first...

Shelly.

I have some wedding obligations I need to fulfill, so how about we meet back here later, when everyone's at the party, and...

...I'll get you what you want.

♪ You and me and... ♪ There you are.

They told me you needed a fresh one of these.

Looks angry.

Gonna be tough to hobble down the aisle with that, hmm?

Oh, funny you should mention that.

I have a request.

I will not carry you over the threshold.

Okay, that's more of a bride-groom thing, so, no.

I was hoping it would be okay if Alexis walked with us down the aisle.

I'm just worried about how I'm gonna make it...

I have no problem with it.

What?

Oh.

Okay, I had a whole speech planned.

It's your day, sweetheart.

I will do whatever you need to get you down the aisle.

Are you okay?

- Yeah, I just...

- [PHONE BUZZING]

I can't believe both my parents are stepping up for me when I need them, and...

Yeah.

Okay.

Thanks for the ice.

Don't turn around.

How did you get on with Adam?

He wants to meet later, but he makes me nervous.

Oh, don't worry.

Nothing's gonna happen to you.

You don't know that.

I know that you think he's dangerous, but that's the reason why you agreed to do this.

Adam can't get away with k*lling his mother, and he can't be allowed to hurt other people, like my daughter.

You're right, I know.

It's just...

he may not admit it to me.

We need proof.

And what if he att*cks me?

I'll have men stationed nearby.

You won't be in any danger.

Worst case, we can also charge him with attempted m*rder.

[CHUCKLES]

Too soon for jokes?

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Hey, it's Blake Carrington.

Listen, I'm just wondering when I can expect the final payment to come in.

You guys are kind of cutting it down to the wire here.

What?

No.

No, that's impossible.

Look, I'll-I'll call you right back.

Cliff, hey.

I was just about to call you.

What the hell is going on, huh?

Why hasn't the oil been delivered to Accordion?

We had a deal.

CLIFF: That's why I'm calling.

I made a little accounting mistake.

Those .

million barrels of crude had already been pre-sold to someone else.

Hey, that's not a mistake!

That is a giant...

Funny thing.

No one bothered to tell me.

Anyway, I can probably get you what you need.

Just give me a week or two.

I don't have a week or two, Cliff!

I got three hours to find two million barrels or $ million to pay back the bank.

Yeah, I can't help you with either of those, partner.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

It's so nice to see you back in this room.

Can we talk for a minute?

If I can ask you a question first.

Sure.

I just got a call from the hospital clinic.

Did you put a hold on their funding?

From the foundation?

Yeah, and it's just temporary.

So you're taking money from charity now?

What is wrong with you?

I borrowed it.

I'll replace it in a few days, I promise.

I saw all those monitors in your office, like a control center.

Is there something going on?

Yes.

Uh, my company is in some trouble.

And I know how you feel about my business, but this time, I have personal assets on the line, and I am out of oil.

That's why I wanted to talk to you.

What can I do about that?

Well, about the oil, nothing.

But, um...

I need some money to pay back the bank.

And I was wondering if there's any way that you could talk to your father about a quick loan.

He would have his money back before he knew it was gone.

It would mean the world to me.

To us.

So first, you steal from the clinic, and now you want me to just get back in business with my father?

When I've spent my life trying to get away from that?

This is different.

This could be the end of Carrington Atlantic.

The fact that you would even ask me to do that shows how much this company has destroyed the man I fell in love with.

My answer is this.

Nothing would make me happier than to watch Carrington Atlantic crash and burn.

It may be the only way to save our marriage.

FALLON: Everybody ready?

[GASPS]

Amazing.

Darling, you look beautiful.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, make sure it's not Liam, please.

I mean, the way things are going, the dress might just split right down the middle the second he walks in the room.

- It's your dad.

- Okay.

Oh.

You look...

Thank you, Daddy.

Can I have a moment with the bride?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Thank you for being so great about Alexis and the aisle walk.

I know it was supposed to be your thing, but you have to admit, it was a little patriarchal anyway.

It's your day.

I want it to be perfect.

Which is why I hate to do this right now, but, um, it's a bit of an emergency.

Oh.

Well, I mean, what kind of an emergency?

Well, um, it's about C.A.

Yeah, I borrowed some money to replace the oil that we lost in the refinery expl*si*n.

One of my suppliers has screwed me out of my last few barrels, and I'm not getting paid, which means I can't pay back the loan on time.

Was that just a really long-winded way of asking me for money?

The loan is due in less than an hour.

Now, I'm about to call the bank and ask them for an extension, but if they don't give it to me...

I'll pay you back as soon as I sort this out.

- How much do you need?

- It's just under a hundred mil.

- No.

- It's just a wire transfer.

I'll take care of everything.

You won't have to give it another thought.

Wow.

[SCOFFS]

This is why you were being so nice today.

Yeah.

And why you were agreeing to walk down the aisle with Alexis.

You were just buttering me up.

For what?

A wire transfer?

I'm an idiot for actually believing my father was gonna come through for me.

Don't worry.

My mother will walk me down the aisle.

Alone.

RYAN: I don't understand.

Why couldn't this be taken care of on the phone?

Because I wanted to see you.

And apologize for calling you a liar, and not letting you have a late check-out.

- What changed?

- Well, actually, seeing Fallon with her parents on her wedding day made me realize that I was being cynical.

So you tricked me into coming back?

Well, "tricked" has kind of a negative feel to it.

I would think of it maybe as a romantic gesture.

I really am sorry.

Apology accepted.

But...

I fly out in an hour.

If you want to call the airline to confirm, be my guest.

Okay.

I deserved that.

Look, earlier, you said that you were flustered because you had feelings for me.

And, uh, I think I acted the way I did because...

because I have feelings for you.

What if you stay a couple more nights?

You could be my plus-one to Fallon's wedding tonight, and that would give us a chance to talk.

I have a dozen tuxedos for you to try on.

- None of them breakaway.

- [LAUGHS]

Look, I...

I appreciate the gesture, but, uh, I think I just need a-a moment to step back and-and process all this?

- Okay.

I get it.

- Yeah?

But let's maybe not ruin a good thing before it starts.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, how about this?

Um, you'll hear from me if I want to keep talking.

Take as much time as you need.

Just not too much.

All right.

Eric, it's Blake Carrington.

Listen, I am gonna need a little flexibility on that loan deadline.

What?

What?

You sold it to who?

Yeah.

Yeah, I want you to put me through.

- [LINE RINGING]

- [DISTANT PHONE RINGING]

ALEXIS: Hello?

Alexis?

What the hell's going on?

I assume Eric told you he sold your loan.

You know how banks do that sometimes to cover themselves?

Yeah, I know he sold the loan.

Why am I talking to you about it?

Because he sold it to us.

Pleasure doing business with you.

I want you both out of my house.

ALEXIS: Actually, unless you can pay back the loan in...

- Forty...

- minutes, this isn't your house anymore.

You understand.

We'll have no choice but to take all the collateral you put up.

Including the manor.

I have most of the loan back.

I'm just working on the last little bit.

Oh, we know it's more than a little bit, Blake.

- Even for you.

- And no, we can't offer you an extension.

Nothing personal, just business.

You can't do this!

But we're not cruel.

Oh, of course not, sweetheart, no.

You don't have to leave until after the wedding.

- [GRUNTING]

- Hey, stop it!

Hey, stop it!

Fallon?

I thought you were upstairs.

And I thought you were the one good parent I had left.

Uh, just bring your left shoulder forward a smidge?

That's too much of a smidge.

Perfect.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hi.

Wow.

Are you okay?

Well, my right ankle is the size of a grapefruit, my father just asked me for $ million, and my mother stole the house from him.

So I've been better.

What?

Look, I'll explain everything in the car.

Can you give us a minute?

- Hey.

- Hey.

What do you say we blow this popsicle stand and get married somewhere else?

Weddings are just for the guests anyway, right?

I'm in.

Where do you want to go?

The last place everything was perfect for me.

By the way, you look beautiful.

Thank you, but you may have to carry me up these steps.

That was almost as good as putting Blake in jail.

The look on his face.

Oh, did you see Fallon's face?

She's going to k*ll me.

Fallon's a big girl, okay?

She's seen worse.

She's done worse.

She's still my daughter, Jeff.

I'm supposed to help her, not hurt her.

It's what mothers do.

Yeah, I'm not sure Dominique got that memo.

It's not always easy.

You would understand that if you had kids.

Oh...

I'm sorry.

That just slipped out, but I don't even know if you want them... children.

- Do you?

- Do you really want to talk about this now?

Fallon is starting her new life with Liam.

I finally have my home back.

You should have what you want, too.

I don't want to deny you the chance to have the life that you see for yourself.

I guess I do want children, um,

- someday.

- Which means, there's no future for this marriage.

Which we both kind of knew going in.

Have your lawyer draw up the divorce papers.

And I'll, uh, sign over my share of the house to you, of course.

Thanks, Alexis.

Thank you.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Mmm.

Are you supposed to be eating that right now?

Guests haven't even started arriving yet.

I can eat whatever I want.

I'm basically the most important person at this wedding.

Okay, does that mean you've seen the happy couple?

- No, but...

- [PHONE BUZZING]

Okay, check your phone, but be discreet.

Discreet-er.

- [PHONE CHIMES]

- [GASPS]

What?

Fallon and Liam are at a-a high school?

What?!

She's been feeling nostalgic all day.

They want me to come officiate and you to bring her new shoes.

But we can't tell anyone.

And we shouldn't leave together, either.

Meet me there.

Okay.

Oh, um...

uh...

[BOTH GROAN]

Congratulations on your new house.

[BOTH LAUGH]

- Are you really moving in?

- Nah.

- Oh!

- I just wanted to make Blake suffer.

Alexis wants it.

I was never interested in living here.

Oh, I don't know.

You might want to think about it.

- A Black man owning Carrington Manor.

- Mm.

Would definitely make a statement.

And you could change the name.

Oh, I'm sure Alexis is already on that.

[BOTH LAUGH]

That's a good point.

Oh, Blake must be losing his mind.

It is so nice to see him finally get a taste of his own medicine.

Mm.

Hey, where are you going?


Ah.

Did you ever talk to Ryan?

Actually, I need to talk to you for a second.

Can you come with me?

O... kay.

Hi.

You've reached Fallon Carrington.

Damn it.

Voice mail.

Let me try your phone.

I imagine she knows my number, as well.

Really?

Why?

[LINE RINGING]

Ah.

[PHONE RINGING]

Anders, would you please tell my father to stop calling me?

BLAKE: Fallon, it's me.

Where are you?

If I wanted you to know that, I wouldn't have disappeared.

Fallon, look, I know you're upset.

I'm upset.

But what your mother's trying to pull is selfish, and it's stupid.

She's trying to take everything from me.

This is exactly why I left.

You are making this about you, even on my wedding day.

So just leave me out of this, okay?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our production of Liam and Fallon's wedding.

Liam!

Goodbye.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

ANDERS: What is it?

Hey, Adam just texted me.

He said he needs a few more hours?

Yeah, there's been some sort of minor delay at the wedding.

Um, why don't you just say to him you can't wait any longer?

I don't have a good feeling about this.

I told you I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.

Everything's in place, my security team's standing by.

As soon as you get a confession, you're on your way back to Montana.

How am I supposed to get a confession if he doesn't show up?

Text him back.

I'm on my way.

Oh, my God.

How do you not have bunions, girl?

Shoe, shoe, shoe.

Oh.

Flats.

Let's see how it goes.

Okay.

Which ones do you want?

[TEXT WHOOSHES]

Oh.

[MURMURS]

Okay.

[GASPS]

Kirby, right?

Evan Tate.

What are you doing here?

Looking for Fallon.

I have to talk to her about something.

On her wedding day?

It's urgent.

Where is she?

I don't know.

Did you try, like outside...

where the wedding is?

- [LAUGHS]

- It doesn't look like the wedding's started yet.

Aren't you supposed to be with the bride?

I just...

[CLEARS THROAT]

forgot my shoes.

But those are Fallon's shoes, not yours.

- [PHONE BUZZES]

- You know, I seem to have lost my phone.

Could I borrow yours for a moment?

Or just tell me where she is.

Get away from me!

[GRUNTING]

[KIRBY GASPS]

- You're not going anywhere!

- [YELLS]

[WHIMPERS, YELLS]

[GROANING]

- [GRUNTS]

- [GROANS]

Thank you.

- So this is where the magic happened?

- Yes.

They still talk about my Nellie Forbush here, which sounds p*rn, but really,

- it's just a character from South Pacific.

- [DOOR OPENS]

I'm sorry I missed it.

- The minister has arrived!

- Ah.

Finally.

Where's Kirby?

- She's not here yet?

- No.

I knew it.

[TEXT WHOOSHES]

FALLON: Okay, okay.

She said she's on her way.

Come on.

It's almost showtime.

So I suppose I should congratulate you.

Well, the mother of the bride is the second most important person of the wedding.

I was actually talking about the rumor I heard you're the new owner of Carrington Manor.

It's not a rumor, and I'm sure you're wondering about the status of your tenancy.

Actually, I wanted to discuss ownership.

I've recently discovered that my father left me the mineral rights to the entire manor property.

- The mineral...?

- Rights.

I can spell it for you if you'd like.

So while you may own everything on the land, I own everything underneath it.

Unless, of course, I sell the rights to Blake, which I think he'd be very interested in buying now.

- I'm sure he would.

- It's only right that I give you the opportunity to bid first.

I'm afraid I'm not particularly liquid at the moment.

I'm sure, as long as we keep it between us, we can make arrangements.

I get it.

A little something outside the box?

Outside the box is where I live.

[DOOR OPENS]

Over here!

I told you not to tell anyone else!

I think you have enough room for one more guest.

Oh!

Perfect.

Clearly, Kirby is lost,

- so you can be our witness.

- Wait.

- You're getting married here?

- Yeah.

I mean, it's as good a place as any.

So, let's get the show on the road.

[SIGHS]

Okay.

Welcome, friends, or, well, friend, technically.

Anyway, it's great to be here.

Fallon and Liam.

Liam and Fallon.

These two have been through a lot of ups and downs.

But the one thing that...

[PHONE RINGING, BUZZING]

- Are you kidding?

- It's Ryan.

Unless his last name is "Gosling," do not answer.

Well, tell him you'll call him back.

Okay.

- Hey.

- I've thought about it, and...

I think we should give this a try.

SAM: Really?

So do I.

Just, uh, give me five minutes to marry Fallon and Liam, and then we can talk about it, okay?

Uh, no, actually, listen to my speech.

Hold this.

- Uh, hi?

- RYAN: Hey.

Can we get this over with, please?

So that we can live happily ever after.

- [WHISPERS]: Okay.

- Look, the point is that even though it seemed like a fluke, you two found each other.

And it doesn't matter when or why or under what circumstance it took place, because if it didn't happen the way it did, it would have happened in some other crazy way.

When something is meant to be, it's meant to be.

And it may take you five months to realize it or five minutes.

But it didn't take any of us very long to realize that you two are the real thing.

And now for the vows.

Fallon?

Liam, instead of regular, old, boring vows, I wrote a song just for you.

And all you have to do is listen.

♪ A courthouse in the rain ♪ ♪ Where we begin ♪ ♪ You had the chance to walk away ♪ ♪ But you followed me in ♪ ♪ I threw you into the fire ♪ ♪ And you said it was fun ♪ ♪ Should've moved on, but you stayed ♪ ♪ When I told you to run ♪ ♪ I was fine alone ♪ ♪ But now I've found my home ♪ ♪ It's you ♪ ♪ And me ♪ ♪ And finally ♪ ♪ A man of my own way ♪ ♪ And you're mine ♪ ♪ Now I believe ♪ ♪ Without a b*at ♪ ♪ 'Cause more than before ♪ ♪ I love you more ♪ ♪ More than before ♪ ♪ I love you more ♪ ♪ More than before ♪ ♪ I love you more than me. ♪

[APPLAUSE]

Yeah!

[CHUCKLES]

- Are you kidding?

- FALLON: No.

You want me to read my regular, old, boring vows after that?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

I will make one vow to you.

To never let you go.

Because when you find the person that you want to be with forever, you hold on tight.

And you shout it so everyone can hear.

I love you, Fallon Carrington!

[CHUCKLES]

I-I was, uh, expecting hundreds to hear that.

More of an impact.

It's okay.

I heard it.

That's all I need.

By the power vested in me by the Internet, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Kiss it out, kids.

[CLAPPING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CALEB PANTING]

CALEB: Cristal.

[EXHALES]

What are you...

what are you doing here?

Well, I didn't come to work out.

I-I wanted to call.

Um, I'm so sorry about what happened last night.

I...

Cl-Clearly, I ruined the wedding.

You didn't ruin the wedding.

Blake did.

Though, you did ruin the rehearsal dinner.

Yeah.

I should have walked away.

Well, I'm glad you didn't.

[EXHALES]

What does that mean?

It means I'm still a married woman...

...but I'm just not sure if I want to be anymore.

I'll be there in a minute, Shelly.

As soon as I get this money.

Things have gotten a little trickier now that my sister has disappeared.

Just hang tight.

Kirby?

Kirby!

Oh!

[EXHALES]

Kirby.

Kirby, can you hear me?

ANDERS: My guess is they're in a theater of some kind.

Um, sounded like a big, open space, and-and Liam mentioned something about "production."

So, uh, you know, unfortunately, we haven't got a lot to go on.

I'm trying to find Kirby, see if she can help.

Why would they go to a theater?

Fallon hasn't been in a theater since...

Wait a minute, I think I know where she is.

So, pretty much how you pictured your, uh, third wedding when you were a kid?

Completely.

Well, as long as we're alone, maybe we should consummate the marriage.

You ever had sex on the stage of your high school theater?

Um, I don't think you really want me to answer that question.

[GASPS SOFTLY]

No, no, no.

Hey, what?

Where are you going?

It was just once.

Well, okay, it was twice.

But it was with the same guy, so it was kind of like an encore.

Relax.

I'm going to get the champagne from the car.

Oh, great.

I'm sure it's nice and warm by now.

[CHUCKLES]

- Thank you.

- ALEXIS: You don't say goodbye now?

[SIGHS]

Well, clearly, this wedding isn't happening,

- so I figured I'd go.

- Before you do, can I ask you a question?

Don't ask how, but I happen to own the mineral rights to everything underneath the manor.

- And?

- And there are rumored to be oodles of diamonds down there.

And just because we aren't partners anymore sexually doesn't mean we can't be partners business-ly.

Well, I do like diamonds.

And knowing that we were digging up the grounds would drive Blake insane.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Whatever we find we can split fifty-fifty.

After I reimburse you for the excavation, of course.

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

Great.

I'll be in touch.

Maybe I'll be seeing you back around here once in a while after all.

He's in.

I knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

He is his mother's son.

- Don't let him hear you say that.

- True.

If he finds out I'm anywhere near this deal, he'll shut it down before it begins.

Don't worry.

He has no interest in living here.

He won't know, and we'll be able to get everything we want.

To a new partnership.

Foot off the gas, okay?

We're not Thelma and Louise.

Keep me informed.

Take care of this, will you?

FALLON: Liam, is the champagne at a boil?

Evan?

Liam!

Liam, help!

- I'll use this if you make one more sound.

- [WHIMPERING]

Don't move.

I guess congratulations are in order.

Shelly?

I'll be right back.

Got to do some reconnaissance, find out where Adam is.

Evan, you don't have to do this.

Actually, I do.

It's the least I could do for my sister.

Wait, this is about Trixie?

But I already explained that to you.

It was an accident.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

Yes, when we were dating.

And what about the two of us?

You know, I thought we had something special.

[WHIMPERS]

Oh.

I even kept a lock of your hair.

Okay.

Well, I mean, I-I thought we had something special, too.

But then you rejected me for Liam.

But, you know, to be fair,

- Liam did have amnesia.

- More excuses!

You know, I tried to open your eyes by delaying the wedding.

Tried to give you one last chance to choose me.

Maybe we can just talk.

What the hell is going on here?

You stay right there!

- Kirby?

- I already called .

You did this.

No.

No, it's not what it looks like.

If she dies, so do you.

- Whoa, hey, hey, hey.

- I said don't move!

Either of you.

Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Okay?

Um...

I just, um...

I'm just nervous.

You know?

I-I...

I can't believe there's an actual chance for us to be together.

Don't lie to me, Fallon.

I know exactly the type of person you are.

No, I'm not lying.

Let's just...

Please put down the Kn*fe, Evan, okay?

And...

And we can discuss this like two normal adults in a high school theater.

We're gonna talk, but not here.

Liam, now!

Fallon, move!

[EVAN YELPS]

- [GRUNTING]

- [THUDDING, CLANGING]
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