04x04 - Everybody Loves the Carringtons

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on Dynasty...

- I'll be moving

- into La Mirage.

- Maybe you can get adjoining suites with Cristal and her new boyfriend.

CRISTAL: I suppose I could take over as your therapist.

But for PT only...

I'm not moving back in, and we're not back together.

This divorce is going to get very ugly.

I offered you this house in our settlement as a goodwill gesture.

But as long as we're still married, I own half of it.

And I'm moving in until this is settled.

[EXHALES]: Ooh...

I am hitting the gym when we get home.

Two weeks of eating like this,

- isn't good for the six-pack.

- Well, I thought the whole point of being married is that you don't have to work out anymore.

Or we can turn this plane around and go back to the Maldives for Honeymoon: Part Deux.

As much as your sexy knowledge of French tempts me, we can't avoid reality forever.

- And for once, I don't want to.

- Because being married to me is the happiest you've ever been?

Yes, that, and because of this national TV interview with Meredith Prescott that we're doing as one of America's newest power couples.

- You were serious about that?

- Liam, we're in crisis.

Carrington Atlantic going under.

Blake losing the manor.

Our wedding turning into a crime scene.

I need a platform to sh**t down these rumors that the Carrington dynasty is imploding.

Okay, but is it a problem that these "rumors" are actually true?

Yes.

Confidence in Fallon Unlimited is plummeting.

I had a wealth management group ready to invest eight figures, and now they're afraid to commit.

But once I show everyone that I'm stronger than ever, all will be well.

You told me it's an "at home with the power couples" show, so does that mean that we can finally...

No, no, no, no, no.

We discussed this.

The manor is my home, and now it is yours, too.

Did... we discuss it?

Well, I might have discussed it for us.

Now, just eat your ice cream before it melts.

MICHAEL: You look great.

"Great" great, or great for someone who got stabbed by a psychopath?

- Ah, I'll go with both.

- Shocking, 'cause I haven't been out of here in two weeks.

I'm losing my mind.

Tell me something exciting.

I do have some soccer news.

Do you not know what the word "exciting" means?

The league named me Owner of the Year.

Oh!

Oh, I didn't think you could pull it off, but that is exciting!

- Congratulations!

- [LAUGHS]

What's exciting?

Besides my girlfriend hugging her ex.

Culhane was just named the soccer league Owner of the Year.

Congratulations.

It's a good thing they voted before last night's Atlantix game, though.

Offense couldn't finish.

Defense was terrible on the counter.

What?

I was the team doctor, remember?

Okay, then, Doctor, what'd you think about Victor Diaz's performance?

Wasn't his best showing.

All right, cut him some slack.

Maybe his knee is still hurt from when those guys shattered it at La Mirage last year.

His trainer would know if he was hurt.

Unless Victor lied to them about it.

Which is why we're gonna have a little talk about things, straighten this out.

[GROANS]

Classic Owner of the Year move right there.

How did the rehab go with Cristal this morning?

Which rehab?

Physical or marital?

I assumed they were one and the same.

They are.

And they're both improving.

I may even ask her to move back in.

Which would be fine if you still owned the manor.

Not to mention one or two other problems.

- Other problems like what?

- Cristal is aware that you stole the foundation money for her clinic.

And I've heard a rumor that Father Caleb has been visiting her often at La Mirage.

Well, then I'm just gonna have to up my game.

- Mm.

- Find another way to get more time with her.

When I turn it on, no one can resist that old...

Blake magic.

Check.

You know, speaking of checking...

have you found my long-lost friend yet?

Sadly, he remains hidden.

Eastern Europe is not small.

I need you to find him.

Soon.

Well, I guess that one goes down as a draw.

Fourth one in a row.

We really need to discuss our grand entrance for this interview.

- I was thinking that maybe we...

- JEFF: Oh, welcome back, newlyweds.

It's good to have you home.

- I have so many questions.

- I only have one.

Why is there an office set up in the foyer of my house?

Yeah, that was mine.

Well, because I live here now.

Your mother double-crossed me, so I amended our divorce settlement,

- and I won't be moving out until she signs it.

- Well, even if that made sense, there are dozens of rooms in this house that you could set up in.

I mean, I literally have an office and a sewing room upstairs

- that I've never even seen.

- Well, I need to pressure your mother.

That way she'll agree to our divorce faster, and I can go home.

Okay, putting the fact that we are now living in a sitcom aside, Liam and I have an important TV interview that we are doing from this very room...

- [PHONE BUZZING]

- ...tomorrow, so if you could just move everything out of...

Sorry, hang on one sec.

Oh, I need to take this.

Something big is about to go down in this office.

Not an office.

This is all insane, especially when jet-lagged, so I'll be asleep, dreaming of the Maldives.

I lost my connection.

What happened to the Wi-Fi?

I was just playing with my new toy.

It's called a Wi-Fi jammer.

Could that have ended your call?

I'm so sorry for your loss...

of signal.

Welcome home, sweetheart.

I want to hear everything about your trip.

I mean, clearly,

- I've stepped into an alternate reality.

- Alexis, you turn that thing off.

Happily.

Simply agree to my new divorce terms, including more cash and restarting excavation on the diamond mine.

Then you can move back into your own mansion with your own private office and close all the deals that you want.

I'm not doing anything until you agree to my terms.

- [GRUNTS]

- Which include not a penny for excavation.

Fine.

You win.

Really?

Yes.

Here's your signed deal.

[LAUGHING]

- Really?

Alexis, stop.

- [WHOOPS]

Oh, - I just love it when it snows in Georgia.

- Stop.

This is ridiculous.

Damn it, Alexis!

- There's paragraph one...

- JEFF: Cut it out!

- Oh, and here's paragraph two.

- Cut it out right now.

- Stop.

- Hey.

Hey, you...

are the head of this family.

Do something.

This can't be going on during my interview.

I am absolutely doing something.

I am moving out.

Later.

What?

No, no, no, no, no.

You can't just leave.

Don't worry, I'm sure it'll work out.

If it doesn't, don't call me.

- You're ruining my suit!

- See you at Thanksgiving.

No.

♪ Anders.

- Is everything okay?

- Peachy.

I just stopped by to introduce your new neighbor.

You remember Blake Carrington.

Hello, Cristal.

Does one of you want to explain what's going on here?

I just moved out of the manor and into La Mirage.

In fact, I haven't eaten yet.

Can I join you?

I hear the sea bass is excellent.

The chive velouté sauce has quite a kick.

I'm meeting someone.

But thank you.

No-no problem.

I'm not here to bother you, I promise.

But, uh, I'll be on the penthouse floor if...

if you want to bother me.

Yeah, I'll be on the third floor, junior suite, if you need me.

- [SIGHS]

- CALEB: Hi.

Was that Blake that I just saw leaving?

Yes, it was.

I'm guessing that you didn't take the opportunity to tell him about us.

I told you, I will tell him once his PT is done,

- which will be soon.

- Mm.

He's actually moving in here.

- What?

- He has nowhere to live.

And he said he's not here to bother me.

Well, that's exactly what someone who is gonna bother you would say.

He's manipulating you.

Listen.

You don't need to worry about Blake.

I want to be with you.

I just... need a little time.

Open it.

[SIGHS]

Sam, you did not need to do this.

Of course I did.

It's our two-week video chat anniversary.

Yeah, I don't think that's a thing.

Look, I just wanted to do something nice for you, and something that would help us feel more connected.

Okay.

Okay, that is a White Stilton Gold Cheese from the UK, with flecks of edible gold leaf.

And yeah, it's pricey, but, again, you're eating gold, so...

A-And it pairs really well with that bottle of Bordeaux I had flown in from France.

And I know what you're thinking, but don't worry.

I have a matching set.

[SIGHS]: Look, Sam, you really got to stop sending me expensive gifts every day...

it's kind of...

making me uncomfortable.

Maybe just, um, just dial it back a little bit, yeah?

No, I, uh, I hear you.

I can get a little carried away.

But this is the last one, I promise.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

I have to get back to you in a second.

I have to call the, uh, New Orleans zoo to cancel something.

Completely unrelated to this conversation.

LIAM: Why are you so stressed out about this?

This interview is meant to restore faith in my brand, to show that international wealth management group that alles is gut and Fallon Carrington is a name to be trusted.

But it can't happen if Jeff and Alexis are fighting to the death in the foyer.

Hey, well, have you thought about moving the interview to somewhere more stable?

Like the Titanic?

This interview is about power couples in their homes, so moving it somewhere else would be a sign of instability.

All right, so we can't move it, but we...

can't have it here?

No, we can have it here once I get those two to work it out like any normal couple divorcing from a sham marriage.

[RICKY RICARDO SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

- LUCY: Never mind that.

- Oh...

it's Lucy.

Just stay right over there.

That's your line.

You can't come over here without a passport.

Everything is so much easier in sitcoms.

A half hour, and all your problems disappear.

♪ Honey, I'm home.

ALEXIS: Hi, darling.

I'm just getting to my light dusting.

Whoa.

What's that on your neck?

Jewelry.

Which you'd know if you ever bought me a present.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

How much did that little trinket cost?

Whatever they charged your credit card.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

It's part of our deal, remember?

If you're going to be a slob, I get to buy whatever I want.

Well, I don't remember signing that deal.

It's probably underneath all that mess over there.

Oh, it's not a mess.

I know exactly where everything is.

So do I.

On the floor.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

- Ah.

Sorry we're late.

- [AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS]

This one couldn't get off the phone with his mother.

Why do you hate my mother?

- Yeah, I know.

Dumb question.

- Oh.

What happened here?

Did a tornado blow through and touch down in your living room?

No.

My husband's just decided to live in filth.

No, your husband can live however he wants.

A man's home is his manor.

Hey, now, hold on a sec.

I might not be Alfred Einstein, but I think I can solve this problem.

That's your clean side over there.

This is Jeff's messy side over here.

All you have to do is stay on your own sides.

Problem solved.

Oh.

Finally, some peace in here.

Oh, speaking of peace, I could go for a piece of that famous Colby Coconut Cream Pie

- you sell at the club.

- Now you're talking, neighbor.

It's in the kitchen.

Uh-uh-uh.

Kitchen is on my side, darling.

The beluga-albino caviar you special ordered from the Caspian Sea.

Well, it took you long enough.

Next time, I'll travel there myself and pack it by hand.

- Hmm.

- JEFF: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

The caviar's on my side.

Enjoy those empty plates.

Enjoy eating with your hands.

While you two may be at a stalemate, somebody should eat those little fish eggs.

You hungry, big boy?

A little champagne?

[CHUCKLES]

A lot of champagne.

Hmm.

Mother, the red zones are yours.

- Jeff, you are the green.

- [SIGHS]

Just stay in your zones, and all will be well.

You expect me to be confined to a zone like some sort of grazing cow?

- If the grass fits...

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

What's up with these yellow zones?

Shared zones.

So, each of you will get a schedule with predetermined time slots for those.

Strictly off-limits during my interview.

So I can't go certain places in my own house?

- Our house.

- FALLON: Look, I just need a temporary cease-fire, okay?

So, just please try to leave each other alone for hours, and it'll be great for everyone.

Or we could sit down and work it out right now.

You want to do that?

No, I didn't think so.

So, go to your zones and stay there.

Can my red zone be more of a burgundy?

It feels richer.

Go!

VAL: So, Meredith is just gonna ask you some basic questions.

Who does what in the relationship, how you att*ck the world together.

Just that sort of thing.

And where do you want to do the actual interview?

Oh, Liam and I are planning on descending the staircase together, taking a quick tour of the grounds and then winding up here, actually,

- for the interview.

- Perfect.

And your home is magnificent.

Calm, too.

Meredith likes calm.

Well, I insist upon calm.

- Calmly, you know.

[CHUCKLES]

- Yeah.

- [DRONE BUZZING]

- What?

- What's that?

- What's what?

Oh.

Uh...

Well, we sometimes use drones in the manor to complete basic tasks.

You know.

It provides a sense of tranquility, don't you think?

Uh,

- is that normal?

- Uh...

ALEXIS: How dare you incinerate my proposal?

How dare you even make that proposal?

Okay.

Red and green zones only!

There is no parking in the yellow zone.

You still haven't settled this?

Who the hell is that?

DOMINIQUE: Dominique Deveraux.

- Charmed.

- Crazy woman.

DOMINIQUE: You're behaving like a child, Jeff.

You need to forgive my mild duplicity and move on so we can all get rich off our diamonds.

- Hmm.

- [FALLON CHUCKLES]

Can nobody read a grid?

Is everybody colorblind?

Why are you being so difficult?

I didn't raise you like this.

- This doesn't concern you, okay?

- [GASPS]

And I don't remember you raising me at all.

Just sign the papers, Jeff.

- No.

You sign them.

- You sign them!

No, you sign them!

Oh, so, this isn't gonna work.

I can't subject Meredith to this sort of atmosphere.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is not the atmosphere.

This is a glitch in the atmosphere.

Sorry.

The interview's off.

Mother.

Stepfather.

Stepgrandmother.

I just want to personally thank all of you for ruining everything.

[GASPS]

Hey, there he is.

Now, see?

Isn't this so much better?

Just the two of us talking.

You don't have to tell me twice.

You don't want me sending you packages, I'm not sending you packages.

I didn't mean to sound ungrateful.

It's just that we're both so busy, I-I didn't want to spend our time online opening presents.

Of course not.

[CHUCKLES]

Which is why today's present is appearing from home.

What do you mean?

Say hello to Brian Littrell.

[LAUGHS]

What's up, Sam?

And you must be Ryan.

It's nice to meet you.

Can someone explain what's happening here?

Well, uh, video calls can get a little stale, and I wanted to keep things fresh, so I hired Brian to do a few songs for us.

I've been a huge fan since the Backstreet Boys days.

Okay, Bri.

Let's do it.

♪ You are my fire ♪

- ♪ The one ♪

- [MOUTHING ALONG]

♪ Desire ♪

♪ Believe ♪

♪ When I say ♪

♪ I want it that way ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Ain't nothing but a heartache ♪

- ♪ Tell me why ♪

- Um, I-I just realized

- how late it is.

I-I got to bounce.

- ♪ Ain't nothing but... ♪

Wait, what?

[EXHALES]

Uh, n-now what?

Well, keep singing.

I paid a lot of money for three songs.

Well, don't you think that's a little awkward?

Do you really think it can get more awkward than this?

Good point.

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Ain't nothing but a heartache. ♪

ADAM: So, why am I here?

[GAME PLAYING ON TV]

- [TV MUTES]

- I brought Victor in this morning to see if I could get him to sit out a few games to rest his knee.

He admit that it was hurting the last few games but says it's fine now.

Well, you got to admire his fortitude.

I don't think he's telling the truth.

Do me a favor.

Watch him from the other night.

ANNOUNCER: ...his, uh, injury, but they don't...

Does it look like his knee is bothering him?

- The more I watch, the less I'm buying it.

- What, because he's outrunning every player on both teams like a gazelle?

Yeah, he looks perfectly fit.

I think he's lying to you.

- [SIGHS]

- Probably to make an excuse for having a bad game.

That's the problem.

This is the third game in a row that he's done fine in the first half and missed easy chances

- in the second.

[SIGHS]

- Hmm.

I got a bad feeling he's involved with dangerous people again.

Maybe even throwing games.

I may have to go to the commissioner.

Look, that's a big swing and a serious charge you're making.

You better be right, and you better have proof, or the commissioner's gonna be looking for a new Owner of the Year.

What do you want?

I got my own problems going on right now.

Which I am totally willing to listen to.

Okay.

Well, Ryan and I had a really bad FaceTime.

I didn't mean now.

Look, my interview was canceled, and I need your help to uncancel it.

Really?

Well, I don't feel like going on some crazy escapade tonight, so...

Oh, come on.

Can you imagine if Ethel had said that to Lucy?

Okay.

Fine.

I'll do it.

But only if I can be Lucy.

You can be Lucy.

Meet me downstairs in two minutes.

Ethel.

LIAM: Personally, I think the interview getting canceled is a great thing.

I mean, yeah, sure, it may cost you a sizable investment.

Oh, it will cost me a sizable investment.

Yeah, but your company will survive.

You don't know that.

And I can't have my family dragging me down again.

But you don't need to worry about that.

You can just sit here and look pretty.

I will fix this.

Fred.

- Ricky?

- There we go.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay, you are on watch duty.

- You know what she looks like, right?

- Yeah.

Okay.

So, just say the code word if you see her coming.

- Anything?

- Well, I just started, and I haven't found anything that's labeled "stuff to blackmail Val with" yet, so no.

Rude.

And this is Val's office, so it would be labeled "stuff to blackmail me with."

Cocoa Puffs.

Cocoa Puffs.

She's...

- She's...

- Um,

- can I help you with something?

- [CLATTERING]

Hey.

You must be Val.

I'm Sam, Fallon Carrington's friend.

And, uh, I'm actually here to help you.

Oh, really?

Yes.

I think you should give her a second chance for the interview.

And you came all this way just to tell me that?

How did you even know where I work?

Oh, Fallon told me.

That's how excited she is to be doing this.

Uh, look, I would consider it a personal favor even though we don't know each other, but, uh, we can get to know each other.

If you know what I mean.

Yeah, I-I don't think so.

You know, I thought I was gonna eat this, but I'm not that hungry.

Oh.

Uh, so, can I walk you out?

Sure.

And tell your friend in the trash can that I'll see her tomorrow.

Really?

How did you know I was in here?

I saw you two walking in when I was getting into my car and figured something was up.

If you're gonna go to this much trouble just for an interview, you must be crazy.

[SIGHS]

And crazy makes good TV.

Well, that is great.

I guess, um, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

You might want to clean up those noodles

- before then.

- Yeah.

You said Cocoa Puffs.

The code word was Cheerios.

Really?

Oh, I had Cocoa Puffs for breakfast.

Oh, you did?

Did the, uh, milk get all chocolaty?

- Yeah.

- No!

Please help me out of here.

I'm a literal garbage person.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I'm not sure I can handle eating breakfast at such a small table.

Just pretend that all the tables are yours.

And all the food.

Oh.

That does help a little.

I have good news.

I've found your long-lost friend.

Oh, fantastic.

What condition is he in?

- Pristine.

- Thank God.

You know, that Chagall's worth mil.

Well, the gentleman that you loaned it to apologizes for the delay in getting it back to you.

He had to go underground while sponsoring a regime change...

I'm glad that he could use it as collateral, though don't tell me what for.

Plausible deniability.

Now you can sell it, get back on your feet and to a table worthy of your stature.

Oh, the big table will happen.

But I have more urgent plans for that money.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

So, how's your phone sex thing with Ryan going?

I think yesterday you said something about a problem?

First of all, it's more than just phone sex.

And, yes, it's on hold for the moment.

We haven't spoken since our Brian Littrell incident.

I'm sorry, there was a Brian Littrell incident?

- Let me guess, he wanted it that way.

- Ha-ha.

But you wouldn't quit playing games with his heart, so he said, "Bye bye bye." One, not funny.

- Fine.

- And, two, that's NSYNC.

- Oh.

- And, yes, I hired my favorite Backstreet Boy and first crush to give a concert in our video chat, but Ryan bailed before he even hit the chorus.

Maybe he doesn't like Brian Littrell?

Which would be weird.

Yeah.

Or maybe he thinks it's weird that you're throwing concerts over FaceTime instead of having an actual conversation.

Because I do.

Well, I'm doing everything that I can to show him how into this I am, and he clearly doesn't appreciate it.

I mean, anyone can just look at each other over a computer screen.

Well, I think you need to look at yourself.

Okay?

Because Ryan could listen to music anytime.

To be honest, he'd probably rather hear you sing than Brian Littrell.

Well, I do have the voice of an angel.

Interesting.

[EXHALES]

Thank you.

Sure.

- [SIGHS]

Hey.

- Hey.

Hi.

[GROANS]

I need five minutes to decompress.

Mm.

Who is it, Alexis or Jeff?

Neither.

My mother won't stop e-mailing me listings of houses in Buckhead, all within broom-flying distance of her house.

Mm.

Well, maybe it's time.

Really?

Are you serious?

Oh, what, time to move out?

No, no.

To change your e-mail.

[EXHALES]

Like this house is any better?

Unless you solved World w*r III.

- Yeah.

- RICKY: If they're not speaking to each other, how did you get 'em to come here for dinner?

Neither one knows that the other one is coming.

RICKY: Oh.

- That should be interesting.

- [KNOCKING]

LUCY: There's one of the lovebirds now.

RICKY: Yeah, before the evening is over, there'll be feathers flying all over the place.

Now that the interview is back on, I am open to ideas.

Maybe I've been thinking about it all wrong.

Gee, thanks for setting me up, pal.

You're the best.

I haven't had a date since my heart att*ck.

You got to stop saying that.

Getting your heart broken's not the same thing as a heart att*ck.

Shouldn't you know that?

You're a doctor.

Kinda.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

Sue me.

I'm romantic.

I think it's pronounced "pathetic."

[LAUGHTER]

Oh!

You are going to fall for him.

I mean, I personally don't find him attractive, but we have different taste in men.

Good versus bad.

What if I'm not ready to date again?

Well, I wish you'd mentioned that before I took my curlers out, threw a girdle on and ironed my dress, but that's okay.

[LAUGHTER]

Listen, sweetie, I know that you might feel like you're not ready to date again, but, trust me, I am ready for you to date again.

And that's really all that matters anyway.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh!

Come on.

He's waiting down there somewhere.

Okay, well, don't go too far away.

Oh, no, no.

I'll be right here, climbing into a bottle of gin.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GASPS]

Adam?

Kirby?

Well, we'll just leave you two alone.

But I will take that.

[LAUGHTER]

They think they're so smart.

I know.

Why is that again?

Because they tricked us.

Into showing up at the same place at the same time for a blind date with each other.

Right, right.

Is that why Fallon told me to dress the same as I did for our first date?

I thought it was because I looked nice.

Well, you do.

So maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all.

That was a... pretty good night.

Roses for your lady?

No, thanks.

We're allergic.

[LAUGHTER]

Earrings for your lady?

On the house.

I know I said I'd leave you alone, but how's it going?

Are you guys back together?

Did the secret plan work?

Ew!

I mean, good for you two, but...

ew.

[LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]

[DOOR CREAKING]

- Well?

- Well, what?

Fallon said you were ready to talk settlement.

What?

She said the same thing to me about you.

[GROANS]

That duplicitous little...

Watch your mouth, Mother.

I don't want to have to give you a time-out.

What the hell are you doing?

My interview is imminent, and I need the two of you out of the way.

So I'm not letting you out until you sign divorce papers...

I don't care whose... and go your separate ways.

[EXHALES]

- Okay.

- Fallon, do not lock us in here!

Th...

- [DOOR OPENS]

- [SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

You'll need these.

Fallon.

Fallon!

Fallon!

[LOCK CLICKS]

♪ [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Kirby?

- Oh, my God.

Victor.

- Hi!

- Okay.

[CHUCKLES]

Um, what are you doing here?

I'm meeting someone, but I don't see him yet.

Want to have a drink with me?

Of course.

I just need to finish something up first, but I'll meet you at the bar.

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

I would make an awesome thief.

Indeed.

So, I'll be in the back.

I just need five minutes to copy the data from his phone, see if there's any evidence of gambling.

But he cannot see me before that.

So keep him entertained.

Yeah.

I'm awesome at that, too.

[EXHALES]

So...

it has been a minute, handsome.

I was actually hoping to run into you here.

- [CHUCKLES]

- And now here you are.

Stop teasing me.

I'm not.

Kirby.

- Who's this?

- Uh...

this is Victor Diaz.

He plays for the Atlantix.

And you know him how?

We're just...

old friends.

Yeah, you know how that goes.

Right, well, I'm with Kirby now, so maybe you should keep your eyes off her ass

- and put them somewhere else.

- Excuse me?

[CHUCKLES]: Just kidding.

I'm actually a big fan.

I was the team doctor before you came.

Can I get you a drink?

Yeah?

Let's have a drink.

You know, I should be upset that we're going after J. Lo and A-Rod, but I've decided to spin it that they are the warm-up power couple and we are the main course.

How's that spin working?

Not great.

Have you seen her abs?

Well, you're gonna do great.

And you...

look dazzling.

Oh, thank you.

You look...

Do I have time to change everything you're wearing?

No, I don't.

You look great, too.

Have you seen Jeff?

No, I haven't.

But if I do, I'll be sure to tell him you forgot to knock.

Mm.

I want to show him this mock-up of a mother-son brand I came up with for when the diamond mine opens.

I call us "Colbys in Ice." Hopefully Jeff will love it so much he'll want to start digging tonight.

What do you think?

I think he'll probably have some very strong feelings about it.

But, again, I don't know where he is, so...

It's an absolute miracle that you, me and Jeff turned out as well as we did with egomaniacal mothers who act like children.

Mm, they should start a club.

Or we should start a support group.

So, our last game to qualify for the World Cup is in three hours.

We're two hours from the stadium, hungover, no money, no phones and a car with no doors that only goes in reverse.

[LAUGHING]

Where's my phone?

I can't find my phone.

Uh, maybe you dropped it when you were walking in.

Deep breaths.

It's just a phone.

My entire life is on that thing.

I just can't have some stranger find it.

- Well, let's go outside and look.

- Yeah.

Wait, I-I have a find-my-phone app on here.

[BEEPING]

- [CHIMES]

- [EXHALES]

Thank God.

It says it's somewhere in here.

[MUTTERING]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

It-it looks like you're limping.

Is everything okay?

Can I check it out?

We don't want you hobbling during the playoffs.

Yeah, is it your knee?

You know, from when they...

[CLICKS TONGUE]

I-I'm fine.

And I really don't need you to examine me.

- Wait!

- Hey.

You.

I've been looking all over for you.

Guess you dropped your phone.

[EXHALES, INHALES]

Shall we finish that exam?

Don't touch me, bro.

I'll be over there when you want to talk.

Bye, Victor!

Did you get the proof?

I did.

And it looks like this gambling thing is much bigger than I expected.

I'm glad you called.

I've been wanting to talk to you.

I wanted to talk to you about something important as well.

But then I found out the clinic just got a cash gift from an anonymous donor to keep it open.

Really?

That's great news.

For someone so good at lying, you're a terrible actor.

I know it was you.

Well, you weren't supposed to find out, but since you did, you're welcome.

For repaying the money you stole from the clinic in the first place?

- How generous.

- Excuse me?

You're doing the same thing you always do, Blake...

throwing money at your problems instead of owning them.

I'm currently homeless.

I'm relying on the generosity of my late wife's nephew to keep a roof over my head.

I can use that money.

I think that's a little harsh.

Harsh?

I called your original physical therapist to get your records from her, and after I questioned her professionalism, she confessed that you paid her to do a bad job in order to trick me.

Mm, I should've paid her to keep her mouth shut.

I am so sick of your manipulations, Blake.

And I am leaving you... for good.

For the priest that you were supposedly never gonna see again?

You know about that?

- Yeah.

- Well, Caleb is a good man.

An honest man.

And he makes me happy.

So that's why I came up here...

to say goodbye.

If this was about my feelings, I would never stop fighting for you.

Ever.

But this is about your feelings, so I'll honor your wishes, and I will leave you alone.

As much as I hate it.

Thank you.

That's the most selfless thing I've seen you do.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Do you not understand how to negotiate?

You can't just keep going up.

That's called the Alexis way of negotiating.

Seems like most things only work the Alexis way.

Negotiating, drinking, foreplay.

Well, I never heard you complain.

[BOTH LAUGH]

How did we get here?

I think your daughter locked us in.

[LAUGHS]

I don't know, but...

maybe we can work this out?

[DOOR OPENS]

I locked you in here with the wrong mother.

Fallon...

I want you to know...

Hush, woman.

I realized that if Dominique hadn't betrayed you again, you wouldn't have been so hell-bent on revenge.

That does make some sense, but...

No "buts." Go deal with your insane mom, agree to a settlement with mine, and then get out of this house, because I know you can't stand it here.

This place does make people do crazy things.

So, how do we celebrate our new, unbreakable alliance?

By not pretending that we have one, because we don't.

Excuse me.

Where is this coming from?

Take your pick.

Ruining my wedding, ruining Blake's life, destroying the manor and the Carrington dynasty.

I mean, you got your wish, Mother.

You've driven everyone away.

I think what you need is some time alone without all the chaos.

I agree, which is exactly why I am moving out of the manor.

First thing tomorrow.

But I did all of this for you.

No.

No, you didn't.

You did this for you.

So, hopefully, everything works out.

But if it doesn't...

...don't call me.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Sam, I'm surprised to hear from you, especially without your backup singers.

I deserve that.

Look, I don't like that we haven't spoken since our Brian Littrell call.

Yeah.

Me, neither.

And I'm sorry about that.

So...

goodbye.

Sam?

Are you... are you there?

- [PHONE BUZZES]

- Sam?

Pick up the phone!

Hello?

Look, I know I went a little crazy with the gifts and...

the Backstreet Boy.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

I think I was just afraid that...

just me on a screen wouldn't be enough to keep you interested.

But I think that what you're looking for, or what I hope you're looking for, is just me.

Of course that's what I want.

Sam, that's all I wanted, just to... talk.

Well, here I am.

So let's just shut off our screens and do that.

Okay.

[DISHWARE CLINKING, FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

- We need to talk.

- Is it about the Colbys in Ice design?

I guess I could make you more prominent.

As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about.

But Alexis and I have agreed to a divorce settlement, and I'm moving back home.

Thank God!

Not that you're leaving, just that you've made peace.

It's always healthier to release anger than to hold on to it.

Then this is gonna feel super healthy.

Because I wasn't angry at Alexis.

I was mad at you...

Hmm.

...for choosing her over your own son.

I can see how it would look that way, but sweetheart, I was cornered.

No, it's a pattern with you.

Your obsession with the Carringtons has always come at the expense of your own family.

These mineral rights have shown that you're more connected to generations of their greed than to me, Monica or even Vanessa.

[LAUGHS]

That's hilarious, coming from you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You have spent years trying to destroy Blake.

You fake married his daughter, and then, you actually married his ex-wife.

And you say I'm obsessed with the Carringtons?

They may be a greedy family, but those diamonds... are mine.

You're right.

I was obsessed, but I'm done now.

And I'm done fighting you on this excavation.

One of us has to be the adult here, and it's clearly not gonna be you.

So I'm giving Alexis the money she needs, and I'm out of this.

Good luck being a wealthy Carrington.

It's worked so well for the rest of them.

Well, you're finally getting your wish.

Mm, private Jefferson Starship concert?

No.

We're moving out.

And getting far away from my mother.

I... am going to tell the million people watching our interview, plus a certain investment group, that the Fallon Unlimited brand is thriving, and that I officially have nothing to do with the Carrington dynasty madness anymore.

Done.

Okay.

Well, your mouth is saying "okay," but your face is saying "no-kay." I know you, Fallon.

We can move , miles away, but you'll still be connected to this family.

Your mother behaving like a child... that's on her.

But you being the mature one...

that's on you.

Moving away won't solve anything.

Why couldn't I have married beautiful but dumb?

Deputy Commissioner Dawkins, thanks for joining me.

Oh, how can I help our esteemed Owner of the Year?

I'm afraid it's not good news.

I have found evidence of a gambling ring involving multiple players in our league.

That's unfortunate.

Well, what's unfortunate is, from what I can tell, you are the ringleader.

So, here's how I see it.

You've got two options.

We can go to the press together, and you can come clean, or you can deny it, and I can go to the press alone.

You know, there's a third option, where you just keep your mouth shut about this.

And why would I choose that option?

'Cause I heard that you've been sniffing around, and if you say anything about this, multiple players will testify that you are the ringleader.

Not a good look for our first African-American Owner of the Year.

Option number three sounds pretty good now, doesn't it?

Well, I see it didn't take you long to mark your territory.

Please tell me I'm not standing in urine.

Cute.

And gross.

Does this mean you've come to your senses?

Let me guess.

You want me by your side at the interview.

I have come to my senses.

So I am going to give you a little preview of what I'll be telling the world.

That rumors of the Carrington dynasty crumbling are wildly exaggerated.

Are they?

I think it already has crumbled.

In fact, I will be taking over as head of the dynasty.

And I will be doing so right here, in Carrington Manor, in this office, so get your ass up and out.

Ooh.

I love to see you all revved up.

And staying in my house.

Oh, about that.

About what?

I am currently in the process of purchasing all of the land holding access roads that surround the manor.

So while you may own the house, and Dominique owns the mineral rights,

- I'll own the access to them.

- Meaning?

Meaning, if you act like a child again, the only diamonds you'll ever see are when you're playing Texas Hold'em.

I...

have been the collateral damage from my family's poor choices my entire life, but that ends now.

Forgive me, Father.

I'm about to sin.

- Excuse me?

- Not gonna make a scene.

That would be sacrilegious.

What are you doing here, Blake?

Let me make my confession clear.

I have a very dangerous Albanian friend who owes me a favor, and that favor will be to make your life hell on earth if you don't disappear from Cristal's life.

You think I'm afraid of you?

I really don't care.

But if you want to be stubborn and don't go away, when I come back, you can bet it's not gonna be for forgiveness.