01x03 - The Kingdom of Bones

Episode transcripts for the TV show "m*rder Rooms: Mysteries of the Real Sherlock Holmes". Aired: May 18, 2000 to October 2001.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


m*rder Rooms is the "behind the scenes" original mini-series to the origins of Sherlock Holmes.
Post Reply

01x03 - The Kingdom of Bones

Post by bunniefuu »

Life may be stranger than fiction.

It is often more disturbing.

Before I wrote my stories of the great detective, I had access to a terrifying world of mystery and m*rder.

My companion and teacher on this journey was Dr.

Joseph Bell.

Here in this extraordinary man was my inspiration, but it is only now that I have chosen to reveal the dark beginnings of Sherlock Holmes.

Behold it.

ladies and gentlemen.

Mount Roraima.

the great unknown plateau of the South Americas.

untried.

unconquered.

land of secrets and wonders.

This undiscovered terrain will be the subject of my next expedition.

Beyond this ascent lies a land unseen since the world began.

Imagine that.

Who knows what rare sights. what strange species we may find there.

I trust in God that it will be a great adventure.

Are there any questions?

When does the expedition start?

December with the aid of the Royal Geographical Society.

Ha.

ha.

ha.

ha.

I was half expecting you to leap up and beg to go adventuring with them.

Don't think I wouldn't be tempted.

but.

no.

Reuben.

no more adventures for me.

So what did you join the Society for.

the literature or the science?

The customers if I can raise any.

There's me?

All rude health and no money to your name.

what use are you to a medical man?

I understand your ambition.

Arthur.

We're alike in so many ways.

That's because I run a practice with precious few patients while you run a museum which nobody visits.

Spare me ten minutes.

Why?

yu'll see why.

(Banging)

Arthur.

it's ready.

Here she is.

She?

My princess.

in a manner of speaking.

yu're beginning to concern me.

Reuben.

I assure you she's mine.

I paid seven guineas for her.

And by the inscription.

she is most definitely.

a princess.

Seven guineas?

Due to her condition and the wretch who sold her to me had nothing for ancient history or for anything else.

I didn't so much buy her as pay gin money to rescue her.

How old is she?

My guess would have to be around 3.000 years.

Some of the hieroglyphs resisted translation.

I've bad new for you.

Reuben.

yu'll be lucky if she lasts for three months.

Water's breached the casing.

That's the smell of decay.

And therein lies our opportunity.

I don't plan to be a curator of sea shells and flint axes for the rest of my days.

If her days are numbered.

then preservation is no issue.

If preservation is no issue.

then we can unwrap her.

What.

now?

No.

not now.

At a public event before an invited audience.

I see mainly academics.

some press.

some dignitaries.

A tasteful display.

but still a sensational one.

Oh.

Not just an unwrapping but an anatomy lesson.

a full postmortem examination covering the life and tragic death of a princess of Egypt.

How do you know it was tragic?

Well.

show me a young death that isn't.

Try to imagine it.

Arthur.

Recognition for both of us.

yu'll have access to society.

With patronage and subscriptions.

I can lay the foundation to a major collection.

Dr.

Doyle strode up to the podium and after gripping it and sweating for 20 minutes commenced to stammer in a most enlightening fashion.

No.

no.

Don't mock me.

Arthur.

I have a most serious purpose in this.

My mother.

my sister.

I do it for them.

Our father was disgraced in his lifetime.

He claimed honors from Oxford that he did not earn.

It is a cloud I will dispel.

I'm no public speaker.

Reuben.

yu've seen the evidence.

That's not what I'm asking of you.

It's your connections I have need of.

Good morning.

madam.

yur baby has gangrene of the heart.

That will be sixpence.

thank you.

(Bells chiming)

Arthur.

9:00.

Thank you.

Innes.

How ever did I manage without you?

Today's bills for you.

sir?

Never mind the bills.

How is this?

Quite the dandy.

aren't we.

Dr.

Doyle?

Well.

I have to make an effort.

Oh.

I'm as nervous as a schoolboy.

Where's Innes?

Exploring again I expect.

yur brother will know Southsea like a native before he gets home.

Oh.

didn't I tell you.

He's not going home just yet.

He's staying a while.

Oh.

Well.

mother needs her space and I've got plenty.

yu've got to admit he's good company.

Well.

you certainly know he's about.

If there's an emergency.

send him to find me at the station.

If I'm not there.

I'll have taken the visitors on to the museum.

Shouldrt you hurry?

I don't need to rush.

There's plenty of time.

Which one is 9:00?

Is it the one that pings or that bongs or that plays the tune?

God.

I'm going to k*ll you.

Where's Mr.

Proctor?

He's upstairs with his mummy.

(Laughing)

Is there any sign of two gentlemen from the station?

If they're not our wagon.

I havert seen them.

Is there any organization here?

Look at this.

Still building the place.

Sir.

Professor Rutherford.

welcome.

Who are you?

Doyle.

sir.

Arthur Conan Doyle.

yu taught me anatomy.

Did I?

Don't worry about paying for the cab.

William.

I just managed to b*at you to it.

and I rescued your luggage before the cabby drove off with it.

Doyle?

- Doctor.

It's grand to see you.

lad.

yu're well I hope.

Understand this.

Doyle.

yu say I taught you?

For the best part of five years.

sir.

I won't pretend to remember you.

As far as I'm concerned.

this is a professional engagement in the light of which I expect full professional respect.

The sum of 50 guineas was agreed.

I believe in the letter I offered 50 pounds.

sir.

No.

I recall.

It's 50 guineas as you say.

sir.

And when do I get to see it?

When your bill is tendered in respect of your professional services.

sir.

Dr.

Rutherford?

Can'ter.

sir.

Hampshire Post.

and Southsea Observer.

I understand you'll be giving us a turn in the mummy show tonight.

A turn.

sir?

In the what.

sir.

the mummy show?

To begin with.

young sir.

there is no Dr.

Rutherford.

There is Professor William Rutherford of Edinburgh University here for an academic engagement.

not a sideshow for the amusement of morons.

Either report the facts correctly or do not report them at all.

If you misquote me.

I will sue.

If you misspell my name.

I will sue.

In fact.

if you harass.

misrepresent or annoy me at any way at all.

I'll have your likes for lunch.

Ha.

what have we here?

Wrong.

Wrong.

I have summoned a demon.

- Wrong.

I had ten hours of him in a locked compartment on the night train.

He doesn't sleep.

Ha!

The public awaits.

(Bells chiming)

Good evening.

ma'am.

I'm Reuben Proctor.

the museum's curator.

Good evening.

welcome to the museum.

Delighted.

sir.

It's an honor.

Good evening.

ma'am.

I'm Reuben Proctor.

the museum's curator.

Good evening.

How do you do?

Straight up the stairs.

Do take a seat in the hall.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Welcome to the museum.

yur Ladyship.

straight up the stairs.

please.

and into the hall.

Filling up nicely.

This has to be the most terrifying night of my life.

yu'll look back at it as the foundation of your success.

yur Grace.

And furthermore...

(Knock at door)

Yes?

Two minutes.

gentlemen.

What do you think this is.

Doyle.

a theater of varieties?

My colleague has been clarifying his opinions for my benefit.

Yes.

tell him what we agreed.

Professor Rutherford will dissect the remains without my assistance.

Uh-huh.

I will then speculate on a diagnosis without his.

Oh.

yes.

and.

Doyle.

be sure all those inbred provincials understand that this evening has a serious purpose.

We are not here to entertain.

If I see any people enjoying themselves I shall.

of course.

expect them to be thrown out.

Programs.

oranges.

pickled whelks...

Ladies and gentlemen.

ladies and gentlemen.

welcome.

one and all.

Before I introduce our distinguished professors.

I have here a telegram from the great Egyptologist.

Sir Flinders Petrie who thanks us for his invitation but regrets he cannot join us tonight engaged as he is in the major excavation at Tarnis.

It's signed by his secretary.

Let me now tell you what I can about our subject which is precious little I'm afraid as the only evidence is in these hieroglyphs and many of them are variations on those forms that present scholarship can recognize.

It's my belief that our subject is...

...was a highborn female who d*ed in her 23rd year.

The circumstances of her life are unknown to us as is the cause of her death.

We hope to shed a little light on both in the course of the evening.

It's my privilege to present Professor William Rutherford.

Bravo!

The preservation of corpses in ancient Egypt involved the removal of brain.

lungs.

and viscera followed by a desiccation of the flesh.

In this condition.

the dead were sent forth to derive whatever pleasure they could from the afterlife.

This body has been wrapped in linen.

The linen has then been soaked to form a hard shell.

This state would have been further protected by a mummy case or sarcophagus in the absence of which the condition of this specimen is poor.

very poor indeed.

It has.

however.

retained its integrity for the millennia.

Now.

despite the smell of certain decay.

I have to say that for a 3.000-year-old cadaver.

the state of preservation is remarkable.

quite remarkable.

especially with regard to the watch chain and the waistcoat!

Mr. Proctor!

I shall not withdraw to my unremarkable and noticeably inexpensive hotel.

I shall take the first train to London where for the rest of the week I may be contacted at my club.

They'll send you the bill.

yur opinion.

Dr. Doyle?

I'll defer to yours.

sir.

Three thousand years buried but only three or four weeks dead.

An impossibility.

Yes.

More of a police matter I think.

Bah.

No one is to leave here without giving a statement.

Yes.

sir.

Please.

please accept my personal apologies.

I'll be in touch with every one of you to explain.

I can't think how this could have happened.

Please cooperate with the officers.

Control yourself.

It's a disaster.

Nothing here was your fault.

Stop feeling responsible.

Well.

if not me then who?

yu brought a m*rder to light.

When all this blows over.

it'll be seen as a public service.

Believe what you like.

I'm finished in Southsea.

For God's sake.

There's more to the world than Southsea.

Aha.

Mr.

Proctor.

speaking as someone that has often been gipped by the sellers of antiquities.

may I say that I sympathize.

yu are.

sir?

Heywood Donovan.

I got in on the invitation of the Bishop.

I have to tell you.

sir.

that I found this a far more entertaining evening than I anticipated.

For a fair few moments I feared we'd be obliged to learn something.

I doubt whether you'll get many subscribers out of the occasion.

and yet I hear that you've run up a fair few expenses.

All debts will be properly settled.

sir.

Not by wishful thinking they won't.

May I express my sympathies in a more practical way?

Come out to my house in the morning.

and I will give you a note from my bank.

Unless...

Canadian patronage isn't good enough for an English museum.

I don't mean to be rude.

It's been a difficult day.

I thank you.

sir.

I'll wager you don't see many like this in Edinburgh.

Oh.

are you still without a divisional surgeon?

I believe you're a mind reader as well as an exceptional physician.

Dr. Bell.

Right.

I want the body drawn up in this sheet and removed to the mortuary.

No part of it is to be interfered with.

no sightseers.

no seekers after souvenirs.

Put a man on guard on the door all night if you have to.

Should we remove the wrappings?

Do not touch them.

I will remove them at postmortem.

That's a relief.

Men.

So.

I take it you've offered your services.

Only to finish the task I came down to do.

How's your friend?

I'm worried about him.

All he wanted was to make a name.

Well.

I'd say he's succeeded.

poor laddie.

How much of this fiasco involves you?

My only contribution was the invitation letters to you and the professor.

Well.

that's probably just as well.

How goes your practice?

It's growing.

Oh.

Progress is good.

It's not spectacular.

It's solid.

Uh-huh.

No.

it is.

Forgive an old friend's concern for your welfare.

but I observed that you've been obliged to borrow that suit.

It's father's.

Of course.

I'm very sorry.

I should have realized.

I won't say it's not a precarious living.

but it does improve.

yu must believe me when I tell you I command the respect of this towrs quality.

Sadie!

Ah.

Nobody come in.

The good doctor here says I've got to drop my kicksters.

yu'll not sell many tickets for that.

(Laughter)

All right.

This won't take long.

Swallowed a sovereign once.

Now.

it's yours if you find it.

Aye.

aye.

Admiral.

Ship's on the horizon.

Do you know what hemorrhoids are?

No.

Well.

you've got them.

Oh.

Thank you.

doctor.

Without an educated man to guide me.

I'd have carried on thinking it was the piles.

Agh.

so you're ready?

We're back on the road.

And I'm itching for it.

I can tell you.

Always the same with winter quarters.

Everybody loves show people.

Nobody wants them for a neighbor.

Do you own every one of these?

If I don't own 'em I made a gift of 'em.

Started in the business as a lowe comedian.

When I got married.

my dad set me up with my own go show.

Saved my money and put it into the portables.

Now.

I do the same for my own.

How's it going.

Uncle Walter?

Hmm.

The Giant Rat's fallen out of public favor.

Got a cold in the winter and d*ed.

Wasrt really a rat.

Was a little dog what's hair had fallen out.

Quite a little trooper.

We've pickled him for the freak show.

It's what he would have wanted.

Here.

Doctor.

meet our so-called Bearded Lady.

Can't recommend us a good hair restorer.

can you?

I think that's a case for nature to handle.

It's also a matter of two shillings for the ointment?

yu're right.

Forgive me.

doctor.

Oh.

I see your own a boxing booth.

Heddie.

Sorry about this.

Dr. Doyle.

End of the winter always leaves me anti denary.

Yes.

Dad.

Take your sister and give them a song and dance outside the Trafalgar Hotel.

Soon as you've made two-bob bring it straight back to the doctor here.

(Singing)

I'm a...

No.

wait.

wait.

Don't make them beg for my fee.

We never beg.

Doctor.

No.

what I mean is...

if you don't have the cash to hand.

let me take it in kind.

How?

Get the gloves out and bring on your champion.

I confess to a lifelong weakness for the noble art.

yu sure about this.

Dr.

Doyle?

Believe me.

sir.

you indulge me.

I've had as much pleasure from this as from any form of sport.

And it's been a long time since I had the honor of facing...

...a professional.

Okay.

Jasper.

give the doctor his money's won'th.

Fight!

Forgive me.

sir.

I appear to have the advantage.

I will go easy on you.

Jasper!

yu're a gaming doctor.

I'll give you that.

Too game for my own good sometimes.

And no hard feelings.

Oh.

good Lord.

no.

Got exactly what I asked for.

a lesson from a master.

Arthur?

Who's this.

then?

It's my brother.

Innes.

down from Edinburgh to keep me company.

This came.

Why don't you join in the show.

young Innes?

We're in need a new strong man.

No.

How about Kn*fe thrower's assistant?

Gypsy Bob gets through a lot of those.

No.

Indian club catcher for one-armed juggler.

No.

What do you want to be then.

Innes.

a fine doctor like your brother?

Oh.

Reuben!

Reuben!

Cut him down.

He's beyond your help.

Doctor.

Cut him down!

It's a su1c1de note.

He knew I'd get it too late to be of help.

Did not wish to be discovered by strangers.

I'll inform the coroner.

Good morning sir.

Dr. Doyle.

I'm here to sign off the death certificate for Reuben Proctor.

Certainly.

Doctor.

Let me see.

I don't care where it lives or what it lives on.

Just keep it out of my way, madam, please.

Stupid man.

primitive mockey.

Who is he going to get to do all this.

neither the rats?

Not you I can promise.

Doyle.

Is something wrong?

I've been attending a patient.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

It is always distressing to lose one.

Oh.

I see you've been in a dispute.

Oh.

yes.

It's a sporting trophy.

Indeed.

Well.

I'm glad you're here because I would value your opinion.

Come and look at this.

Not as exotic as an Egyptian princess perhaps but a rather more challenging mystery.

Who is he?

Is there no identification?

It has been removed.

and the clothing labels have been cut off and in a hurry.

So the watch chain is broken.

And the watch itself is missing.

That's depriving us of any marks or inscriptions that might have been of help.

Any further views?

He was about 45 years of age?

Agreed.

And a right handed stone mason.

Look at his left hand.

yu see how the thumb is calloused and then on the ball of the palm there is a patch of thick skin.

That is the hand that braced the chisel.

And if our conclusions are correct.

there should be traces of stone dust under the fingernails.

Yes.

here it is.

Now.

how long dead would you estimate?

Oh.

antiposia has begun to form.

Conversions not advanced.

Saponification doesn't begin until at least three weeks after death so weeks at least.

months at most.

Well done.

Oops.

forgive me.

The teaching habit dies hard.

That is the fatal wound?

Yes.

A single thrust from a straight blade about two inches broad.

And then there are these.

Five of them in all.

In the case with the body?

Yes.

any theories?

Were they down by the feet?

Aye.

They're weights.

Yes.

And so...

if we note the nautical stitching on the wrappings.

we must conclude...

That the body was originally sewn into the canvas for a sea burial.

My conclusions exactly.

Thank you.

Dr. Doyle.

Do we know where our young friend.

Mr. Proctor.

obtained this manufactured antiquity?

I'm afraid not.

Then our next priority must be to ask him.

That won't be possible.

What about his things.

Doctor?

Sorry?

Would you like to take charge of his personal effects?

I wouldn't leave them here.

When there's no immediate family around to make a fuss.

you'd be surprised how things can travel.

yu know what I mean.

Right.

How long can you stay?

Oh.

no longer than you originally arranged.

We have a new childrers hospital in Edinburgh awaiting my attention.

and I mustrt keep the wee bens waiting.

So our mystery must remain unsolved.

Not necessarily.

Inspector Warner is working on it.

Why don't we speculate a little over dinner at my house tonight?

Well.

I should be delighted.

but as a matter of fact...

I have a patient who's a grocer.

He pays me in goods so each time he has a seizure.

we dine rather well.

And on a practical note.

with Reuben gone.

I cannot see how your expenses can be guaranteed.

I realize that.

and as I was about to say.

I canceled the hotel reservation this morning and I had all my bags sent round to your house.

All I know is that Reuben believed he had a genuine antiquity.

but he wouldn't tell me exactly how he came by it.

Did you notice anything unusual about the smell on that mummy canvas apart from the odor of damp.

of course.

And the decay.

yes.

Why?

There was something else?

Glue size and pigment.

Closer examination revealed that the aging and deterioration were as fake as the hieroglyphs on the casing.

I'll open the door.

Mrs. Williams.

And then was the contents of his stomach.

I doubt the average Egyptian diet consisted of steak and kidney pudding.

Aye.

Innes.

Why are you not in your bed?

Mrs. Williams won't let me have a candle in my room.

yu're never afraid of the dark.

surely.

What are you reading?

It's one of Arthur's stories.

He's written much.

you know.

What is it?

Collin Hill.

May I look?

No.

Arthur says you're not meant to read anymore of his stories.

And why?

He says you're rude about them.

Oh.

now.

away with you.

Go on.

it's late.

This is ridiculous.

man.

How can I get Mr. Donovars consent to an interview if you won't even let me in so I can ask?

Dr. Doyle here to see Mr. Donovan on a matter concerning the museum.

Dr. Doyle.

can you put in a word for me?

So all that you see here I'm sending home.

I have a 60-room mansion going up in Alberta.

And believe me.

son.

that's a lot of space to fill.

And a lot of time spent in sale rooms.

I have a seat with my name on it in every one of them.

I asked for a big house close to the middle of London.

and my agent fixed me up with this.

On the map.

it looked like that far away.

Still it has its compensations.

Better value for money.

Money's no object these days.

son.

I come from three generations of Donovars who starved on land that finally became rich in two things.

coal and dinosaur bones.

I got a lot of poverty to make up for.

that's for sure.

We're here on a year's visit so my daughter can do society and I can furnish the family home.

yu noticed my daughter?

Well.

I couldn't fail to.

sir.

She has that effect just like her mother.

May I ask her name?

It's Gladys.

It means mistress of the land.

I thought it was Irish when I gave it to her.

It turns out to be Welsh.

Well.

I suppose on the map it looks like that far away.

Let's do some business.

I was sorry to hear about your friend.

I know he had his embarrassment but uh.

there was no need to take his own life over it.

If he'd given himself time for reflection.

I'm sure he'd agree with you.

Now.

do you have some news on that so-called Egyptian princess?

Dr. Bell has deduced that he was a right-handed stone mason.

who's last meal was a steak and kidney pie.

and that the k*ller had m*rder*d him with some kind of a wide bladed implement like a Kn*fe or a sword or a scythe.

and that the k*ller had gone to some trouble to conceal the victim's identity.

Oh.

My bank will take care of this draft.

I notice that there's no provision included for yourself.

Why would I seek to profit?

Oh.

don't misunderstand me.

I respect the fact.

I mean you are protecting your friend's honor for no personal reward.

Do you know what a rarity that makes you?

I believe anybody would do the same.

Hmm.

Let me see if I can make this visit won'th your while.

hey?

Sometimes I feel as though I can't turn around in this country without someone trying to rob.

cheat or take advantage of me.

yu.

are a breath of fresh air.

Dr.

Doyle.

Where are we going.

sir?

I have a patient for you.

Michael.

Yes.

sir.

Fetch a chair or something and let the doctor take a look at that leg.

(Groaning in pain)

Well.

this wouldn't hurt so much if you'd had it treated sooner.

Well.

the problem lay in trying to find a doctor who is prepared to travel further than the last rich widows salon.

That's hardly fair.

Dr.

Pike's a good man.

He's far better established than I.

So how did this happen?

There were thieves in the boathouse.

There was a shotgun accident when Michael chased them off.

Did they get away with anything?

A wagon load of cheap stone urns and statues of no great value which I'm sure they were convinced was some priceless treasure.

ha ha.

We laughed about it.

Michael.

Gladys.

yu remember Dr.

Doyle?

They were dynamiting tree stumps down by the lake again.

Lightening got spooked.

Were you thrown?

I mean the doctor's right here.

Thrown?

Me?

Don't worry.

Dr. Doyle.

Maybe next time.

So have someone call at my surgery this afternoon.

I'll have some medicines ready.

Thank you.

I'm sorry I did not get to see your Dr.

Bell in action.

I expect he's gone home.

No.

still in Southsea.

Oh.

well.

then maybe we'll meet.

yu must both come for dinner.

yur mystery's got me hooked.

I have to say that I have been sold a lot of things that werert as old as they pretended to be but not one of them was a dead body.

Oh.

do you know there's a journalist at your gate?

Well that's as far as he'll get.

Right.

Walk on.

I suppose you could say he lived over the shop.

Come and look at this.

It's a note of receipt for the mummy.

From whom?

Doesrt say.

There's no signature.

only a mark.

A mark I've seen before.

There's one exactly like it on the wrappings of the mummy.

Hmm.

It's no wonder Mr. Proctor had no luck in his translating.

That's not an Egyptian hieroglyph.

That's a Romany sign.

Gypsies.

Not just gypsies.

They're used by all sorts of itinerants.

They leave their marks on doors and gateposts.

It's their way of signaling to each other when they're on the road.

Yes.

gypsies.

Egypt.

I do believe it may all just tie up.

Let me warn you about these traveling people.

Doctor.

They can be as honest as the day is long.

but you know how short the days are in winter.

They have nothing to fear from me nor I from them.

Surely they'll cooperate in a police matter.

No more than they have to.

Very well.

I shall have to try alone.

I can't recommend that.

Dr. Bell.

If you must.

take my police whistle as a precaution.

A blast from that can be heard a mile away.

yu're anticipating trouble.

Well.

they are van dwellers.

and to them we are flatties.

And here we come inviting them to squeal on their own.

Don't be surprised if the invitatiors not taken is all I'm saying.

Right.

Hey.

Invitation wasted I'm afraid.

By the way.

can you get some of your men to check all the pawn brokers for a recently pledged watch possibly with a length of chain still attached.

It's already being done.

Eastern necromancy.

When I was a boy.

my father took me to see John Henry Anderson.

They called him the Great Wizard of the North.

I thought that was Sir Walter Scott.

Well.

this was a professional magician.

He put a young woman in a cabinet and ran a sword straight through it.

yu do know what Mascaline's Magic Theater in London is called?

The Egyptian Hall.

Could we be looking at the consequence of a failed illusion?

That's a possible explanation but not a complete one.

If an illusion fails.

it fails in public.

The disaster is there for all to see.

But by what logic do you cover such a disaster by disguising a rotting body as a museum piece?

Oh.

I see the lights of the house.

What's Donovars full name?

Heywood Donovan.

And he wants to meet me?

He admires your methods.

Indeed.

And you admire something else I suppose.

Well.

Dr. Doyle.

Miss Donovan.

And what are your feelings on the Celtic revival?

Well.

I see little future or sense in the politics of revenge.

We were talking about its significance in art and culture.

Oh.

We never discuss politics at the dinner table.

Forgive me.

But when people become so emotionally engaged with the past that they can't form a proper view of the present.

that's when your art and your politics become difficult to separate.

This isn't right.

Mr. Donovan.

I can't think why you insist on quizzing me as if I were a detective.

I assure you I'm not.

I'm just fascinated by your methods.

that's all.

For a doctor.

a method of observation and deduction is necessary for clinical diagnosis.

I'm sorry.

Have I been rude?

Please.

tell me if I have.

No.

not at all.

merely direct.

A colonial trait.

No offense taken?

No.

Oh.

dear.

oh.

dear.

What troubles you.

sir?

The place setting.

It's all wrong.

It's all changed.

sir.

The family you served had to part with the house.

yu're my guest now.

He was a chaplain to the people that lived here.

but that was a long.

long time ago.

(Tapping on lamp)

Please feel free to take a last look.

ladies and gentlemen.

before these treasures leave your shores.

The colonial raider has struck at your sale rooms for the very last time.

Oh.

just remember.

if you break it.

you bought it.

(Laughter)

This will fit in right over the main fireplace.

I measured it first to be sure.

yu don't like me.

do you?

yu're too ready to be disliked.

Never jump to conclusions.

Is that one of the rules of the method?

yu must have a very big fireplace.

Oh.

it's big enough to walk into.

And do you know what the whole thing is made out of?

No.

Dinosaur bones.

The whole valley is lousy with them.

Now.

I send out can't loads of relics to museums all over the world and they send me back can't loads of money.

"The Fall of Lucifer".

I was schooled by Jesuits.

Hell holds no terrors for me.

I hadrt realized you were a Catholic.

Dr. Doyle.

Severely lapsed.

My family would have me play it for advantage whereas I feel to play it at all would be irrelevant.

So.

you live by your principles.

Such as they are.

I may have misjudged you.

Doctor.

yu mean I might not be the provincial idiot that you thought I was?

No.

Thank you.

Miss Donovan.

My brother appears to have left the party.

Well.

he did seem a little vague at the table.

He's like a child these days.

I'll have my men check the house.

yu cannot reach conclusions based on what yu read in the bible.

It's there in holy writ.

It says an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

If you're going to take the bible literally.

it becomes as dangerous as any other work of art.

No man is justified in harming another on the grounds that worse happened between his ancestors.

Well.

thank God for a man that can give a decent argument.

All those other ninnies can talk about are my eyes or my skin or my voice or my hair.

Oh.

my heart's racing.

Feel.

It's all right.

isn't it?

It's perfect.

I mean it's all right because you're a doctor.

Pulse is more commonly taken at rest.

Hmm.

Collet Bog.

Collet Bog?

The fairy sword of Cohaven.

Ah.

yes.

the great warrior king of the Celts.

May I?

This was his Excalibur.

was it not?

A formidable symbol and a formidable w*apon in its time.

More intended for ceremony than for w*r.

Please be careful.

Dr. Bell.

It is very old.


I hadrt realized there was a reserve collection as well as the main one or that you had such a passionate interest in Celtic history.

It is the land of my fathers.

And yet here you are in England.

What is so strange about that?

I've heard it said that the average enemy is a sucking dog then his feelings towards England does compare to a true bitter Irish American.

Well.

there you are.

I am not an American.

No offense taken?

No.

My brother needs to go home.

I think our evening is at an end.

Such a pity.

I was enjoying it so.

I'll call carriages.

Don't slow down.

driver.

An extra guinea if you don't slow down.

What's wrong.

Doctor?

The sword.

It must be the sword.

Do I have to wake the dead to get in?

Dr.

Bell.

sir.

Quickly.

has anyone viewed the mortuary since I left?

No.

Doctor.

of course not.

No cats.

No cleaning ladies.

Nobody.

Doctor.

why this haste?

Sometimes.

Doyle.

it is not a matter of the detail but the perspective from which one views the detail that is important.

Our host tonight was not remotely interested in my method.

He was merely trying to discover how much I might know.

Why?

And one must also ask why given that he's obviously so passionate about Celtic mythology.

he should be of such pains to disguise his enthusiasm.

What of his household staff?

Those men were not trained servants.

No.

not if the place settings or the service are anything to go by.

Now.

there may be a connection here or there may be nothing of the kind.

What we have here may be the consequence of a bizarre accident or a strange and savage ritual.

But I wonder if what we are looking at is actually some kind of ceremonial execution.

His watch.

Towel.

please.

Not removed but driven into the body cavity.

Exactly.

I had underestimated the power of the thrust.

I think we'd better sent for Inspector Warner.

Look here.

If you'll stop eating that pie and listen for a minute.

I have an important job for you.

Is it inscribed you may ask?

Yes.

it is.

Hudson.

our stone mason has a name.

And once had a proud father who made him a gift of this.

Ah!

Look.

fetch the inspector.

and I will personally stand you beer and oysters in any public house you care to name.

Sorry.

Dr. Doyle.

I was just eating my supper.

Doctor!

Dr.

Bell.

I have to move you.

sir.

Quickly.

the trolley.

Right.

sir.

Give me a hand.

Quick.

man.

yu!

Who's there?

There's something holding it.

Quickly!

Speed the can't alright.

- Is he all right.

Get him away from the smoke.

Thank heaven for that.

I'll see if I can get some more help.

Sir.

have you seen someone running?

That way.

sir.

yu're not going anywhere.

Well.

Doctor.

yu?

Who are these men?

Say hello to the Rebel Sons of Ireland.

yu're Fenians.

My God.

you're a cell of t*rrorists.

(Police whistle)

Into the coach.

(Police whistle)

yu stay there.

Doctor.

Mr. Donovan will be around to see you.

I'm sorry we had to leave you in the dark for so long.

Dr. Doyle.

We'll have you on your way in just a moment.

Search the house and get him found.

Pass this on please.

There's no doubt that Dr. Doyle will be missed.

I'm going to take no chances.

I'm going to bring the plan forward.

Let's get the men on their way.

We can deal with Doyle.

Right.

boys.

up to London with you.

James?

Good.

yu and your brother do Lord Ruxtors house.

Francis and Danny to Enmore Park.

I'll take care of the final target myself.

Where did you put the bags?

In the carriage.

Well.

get them!

yu two.

take that journalist out of the confessional and dump his body in the lake.

Father!

yu're stamping all over the trail.

Which way?

No swords or ceremonies for this one.

Let's round him up and sh**t him like a dog.

(Animal sound)

Easy.

Lightening.

easy.

(Animal sound)

(Animal sound)

Father!

I've found him.

Oh!

Uh!

(Animal sound)

(Animal sound)

(Animal sound)

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa.

boy!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ah!

Whoa!

Ah!

Ah!

Oh.

oh!

Oh.

oh!

Uh!

No!

(Animal sound)

Oh.

good Lord.

Ahhh!

No!

No!

(Animal sound)

Doctor.

yu're well.

Oh.

I shall live.

and I'm happy to say so shall you.

Will you talk to them for me.

Dr. Doyle?

I'm having a bit of trouble here.

Whose are the elephants?

Oh.

they're part of this dog and pony show we hitched up with.

Look.

we don't know anything about any dead bodies.

Will you tell his jewels here?

I think I can put most of it together.

No.

Before we proceed.

I think we may require the presence of your scene painter.

What is his name?

Walter.

Let him be sent for.

please.

Sir.

Heywood Donovan is sponsoring a cell of Fenian skirmishers in a campaign to commit outrages on the British mainland.

He told me he'd been duped by an agent into renting an estate so far outside London.

The truth is he wanted to be close to Portsmouth.

It's where they Irish pocket boats come and go.

He's no Irishman.

He's a Canadian.

What's his argument?

A sentimental indignation of the most destructive kind.

They've been practicing with dynamite.

Miss Donovars horse had been panicked by an expl*si*n on the day of my first visit.

I think a man named Michael is their b*mb maker.

I treated his injured leg.

We found him alone at the estate.

He won't say where the others are.

They're on their way to London.

They brought their plans forward.

To strike where?

I heard mention of Lord Ruxtors house at St. James's and Enmore Park.

There's at least one other target but I...

Did these bombs have clocks or normal fuses?

I couldn't see.

Is that significant?

There was an attempted outrage at Victoria Station three months ago.

The device had a clockwork fuse that failed to go off.

The work of the same cell perhaps.

I know they've been making their plans for some time.

I saw them about to put a body in the lake prepared in exactly the same way as the m*rder*d stone mason.

I believe it's Donovars dumping ground for anyone who outlives his usefulness or shows too much interest.

Slain with a Celtic sword and disposed of by the former sailor with a mermaid tattoo.

Mr. Walker?

- Sir?

Speculate with me.

please.

As long as I don't have to admit to anything.

Donovars man was treated for a shotgun accident.

It happened while he was chasing robbers from the boathouse.

The thieves got away with garden statues that they mistook for antiquities.

I saw those smashed up at the inn yard.

But they mistook something else.

did they not?

One m*rder*d stone mason in a canvas shroud made ready for disposal in the lake.

Rigid with rigor mortis and to a laymars eyes not unlike an Egyptian mummy which was the kind of thing they were expecting to see anyway.

So they take everything back to their gaffer.

and their gaffer is not impressed.

This is merely speculation.

The petty crimes of a wintering show troupe are of no interest to me today.

I told them to smash up the rubbish and see if we could make an exhibit out of the mummy.

Put it on show as the Pharaoh's daughter.

yu know.

a bit of glamour pulls them in.

Which meant giving it to your scene painter to dress up a bit.

The glue size I smelled on the canvas.

that was theatrical pigment.

no?

That wasrt all you could smell.

After a few days it started to stink and leak.

We couldn't show it like that.

I told Walter to get rid of it.

So you sold it to Mr. Reuben Proctor at the Southsea Museum of Natural History and Antiquity.

And then drank the seven guineas.

Don't waste your time with him.

Dr. Bell.

He's not even with us.

I have painted cloths for Charles Keane.

I have made scenes for Kimball.

I have worked with Hall of the Globe and in Boxton at the Hay market.

Sir John Milley told me that my "Midsummer Night's Dream" was fit to hang in the Royal Academy.

yu are a master of your craft.

sir.

and you deceived us well.

We salute you for it.

Well.

put yourself in their place.

Winter is a difficult time.

Money goes out.

but none comes in.

And then you hear local gossip about a free spending millionaire who has more treasures than he can keep track of.

Are you defending dishonesty?

No.

I am trying to understand it.

Well.

I'm as sympathetic as the next man.

Here comes the next man.

What?

Inspector.

have you done with us?

We need to get back to town.

I am not done with you yet.

gentleman.

I'm afraid we're too late to prevent the skirmishers from reaching London.

Well.

that is in the hands of the Metropolitan Police.

surely.

It is.

But who is going to identify these men.

There's only you and Dr. Doyle that'll know them on sight.

What's use is that?

Here it's of no use at all.

but I'm going to stop the next express train and put you on it.

We are less than a mile from the main line.

Can you do that?

This is a national emergency.

Doctor.

I will do whatever's called for.

Shall we move on?

In a moment.

Enmore Park covers quite an area.

I'm sorry.

I can't be more precise.

That's one of my men.

I've got a whole division out there.

All right.

Suppose...

yu recognize someone?

Uh-huh.

but I can't be sure.

He's trying to swallow something.

He tried to swallow this.

It's Lord Ruxtors house and this address.

Town and Country Club.

Close off the streets.

Yes sir.

All right then.

come on.

Move back.

move back.

Come on now.

(Knocking)

(Knocking)

May I help you.

sir?

I'm Superintendent Mulford.

Scotland Yard.

Who's in charge here.

is it you?

My apologies for disturbing your rest.

gentlemen.

but there is danger here.

yu must leave the building at once.

Please go to the front door.

gentlemen.

Towards the front door.

please.

gentlemen.

please.

Not another step.

gentlemen.

Doyle is a former medical student who has not lost his taste for student pranks.

and I have had enough of them.

Professor.

He specializes in the attempted humiliation of his betters.

And on more than one occasion...

Police.

Superintendent Mulford.

sir.

of Scotland Yard.

Let me assure you the danger is genuine.

and you will all assist me by leaving the premises immediately.

Immediately.

gentlemen.

Aye.

Excuse me.

Sir?

Wait.

Stop!

Stop that man.

No!

No!

No!

Doyle.

what the devil are you doing...

Stay in here.

The b*mb's in the pillar box.

If you value your life.

old man.

then leave this place now.

I do.

And that warning may just have saved your soul from hell.

Safe.

So.

they reverted to ordinary fuses when their clockwork timers failed.

Clockwork fuses don't make smoke.

No.

But caused everyone to be sent out into the street.

Imagine the mayhem that would have followed.

And the night's not over yet.

There's one more target still.

Let Mulford do his job.

We have done all we can.

Doyle.

what was the name on the stone masors watch?

Hudson.

And what is the name on that stone masors wagon?

Hudson.

Driver.

stop.

Whoa!

Tell the superintendent we've found the third target.

Very good.

sir.

We shall now sing the hymn, 'Our God, our... ' I'll have to interrupt the service.

And do what?

Send everybody outside?

What if the b*mb is out there?

Do you gentlemen wish to join the worship?

Could you tell us where the stone masons have been working?

It's all right.

yu can tell us.

We're doctors.

If all the hills in order stood, or earth receive her frame From everlasting Thou art God, to endless years the same.

Please stand.

(Singing)

Oh God, our help the ages past Our hope for years to come Our shelter from the stormy past and our eternal home.

Beneath the shadow of Thy throne Thy saints have dwelt secure.

Sufficient is Thy love alone And Thy defense is sure.

No closer.

Dr. Doyle.

Fine by me.

It will be safe enough if I just watch you until the police arrive.

On the shortest possible fuse.

No time to reconsider.

The stone mason marked the pillar for you.

He had his uses.

Take that one away.

and the whole roof comes down or so he reckons.

Why a church?

Minor royalty.

big wedding Saturday.

All those leeches and politicians in one fell swoop.

But you brought everything forward?

Thanks to you.

But you've no enemies down there tonight.

just ordinary people. women and children.

Casualties of w*r.

yu're not at w*r.

yu're not even Irish.

The shades of the oppressed call on me for justice.

yu know.

I'm amazed they can find you in your mansion.

Which of the 60 rooms do you do your suffering in?

My daughter is dead.

And on whose conscious is that.

if not yours?

(Whistle blowing)

Pardon me.

sir.

for being so un-sporting.

but I think you set the precedent tonight.

Safe.

Mr. Donovan.

no!

Not too close.

dear.

yu'll hurt your eyes.

Mother.

I'm trying to read what it says.

Reuben Charles Proctor.

Curator of this museum.

1882 to 1884.

Thank you.

Doctor.

Pleasure.

Innes.

why are you cowering here like a wee.

sleek.

timorous beastie.

Mrs. Williams said if I stayed here.

and held my wish.

I'd get all the leftover sandwiches.

Oh.

well.

let's hope the present company are not hungry then.

But I'm glad to find you.

We have to say good-bye.

On my way back to Edinburgh today.

Do you not wish you were coming with me?

I'm all right.

yu like living in England?

Arthur says he values my company.

And that's why you're here.

Father's in the madhouse.

I'm not supposed to say.

Arthur won't hear it spoken of.

I see.

Innes.

will you do something for me?

Should your brother meet with distress or difficulty.

will you write to me?

He need not know.

It'll be our wee secret.

All right.

Away and get yourself a sandwich and never mind Mrs. Williams Who is the artist?

Walter Ward.

madam.

a neglected master although his Midsummer Night's Dream was deemed won'thy of the Royal Academy.

Hmm.

Worth staying on for?

Certainly.

Oh.

I understand that part of the Heywood Donovan collection is to be confiscated and donated to the museum in your late friend's name.

Reubers sister is a handsome woman.

is she not?

Oh.

Doyle.

- What?

I despair of you.

I mean as a work of art in herself.

Oh.

save your artfulness for your stories.

I must go.

I have a train to catch.

Don't bother to come and see me off.

Take care of yourself.

until you find someone else who will.

Until the next time?

Whenever that may be.

Sooner than you think.
Post Reply