04x23 - 4SNP

[bunniefuu]

ADRIAN: Previously on The Secret
Life of the American Teenager...

What is that?

I thought I'd make it a theme night

since we're getting
married the Fourth of July.

You're going to have sex with Kathleen?

She's not divorced.

You could get caught up in
some legal something or other.

I promise not to be with any
other man for the next week.

Week?

You texted me so, uh, I hope that meant

there's at least some possibility
we can be friends again.

- Alice says she and I can be friends again.
- I told her to text you.

You can't say anything
to Amy about this.

About what?

Anne is gay.

I hope this doesn't get out.

And keep thinking about
transferring to our school.

Please, you guys, I'm begging
you. Please, please, please.

If you're Amy's friends at all,

please don't say anything
about Amy's mother being gay.

Let's just talk about the wedding.

I only told Kathleen that I
thought your mom might be gay.

Do you realize that Mom is
going to come home next week

and everyone is going
to be talking about this?

I don't know. I feel as if
people are looking at me.

They've been looking
at me all week, I think.

Are people looking at me?

No.

I don't think so.

And if they are looking at you,

they're looking at the
three of us, not just you.

Madison, why would they be
looking at the three of us?

They're looking at me. They're
definitely looking at me.

They can't still be talking
about my mother, can they?

No, I don't think so.

No, it must be something else,
you know, something about you.

Oh geez, they're
talking about my wedding.

Oh! Your wedding. Of course!

Yeah, that's probably it.

Just because Amy's mother's
gay doesn't mean she's gay.

Wouldn't that be funny
if she is, though?

I mean, she's the one girl
Ricky chose and she's gay?

It's genetic, you know.

So it really could be true.
Amy Juergens could be gay.

No, that's not true. They
haven't identified a gay gene.

Still, I doubt youould put off marrying
Ricky for another year if you weren't gay.

And the Fourth of
July is such a gay day.

Fireworks. Sparklers. Parades.

Sounds as if you've taken a
couple of stereotypical images

and gone to the limit with them.

Yeah.

On the other hand, I
guess it's possible.

Amy? Gay? No, she's engaged to Ricky.

She's had a baby. She's getting
married. I kind of doubt she's gay.

Her mother had a baby,
her mother was married,

and apparently her mother is gay, so...

So what? Don't people
have something better to do

than talk about who's gay and who's not?

You should be happy they're
not talking about you anymore.

People were talking about me?

Are you kidding? They think I'm gay?

No, no, no, they think you're Dr. Bowman's
son from an affair he had in South Africa.

But I am.

See? Sometimes these rumors
that go around are true.

That's what keeps people
hooked into the gossip.

So Amy definitely could be gay.

I can't believe no matter what happens,

Amy Juergens always ends
up the center of attention.

Well, if you want to be
the center of attention,

I could start a rumor
that your mom's gay.

No one would believe my mother
is gay. She's a flight attendant.

Flight attendant or not, I
think everyone would remember

that your mom had an
affair with Amy's dad.

And? And maybe George Juergens
has that effect on women.

Maybe George Juergens turns women gay.

Then I guess your mom is next.

I want my mom to be gay.

I would welcome that.

Even if she has to go out with
George Juergens for a while first.

At least she'd stop getting married.

Uh-huh. You know, the
legalization of gay marriage

could be just around the corner.

You could end up with two moms.

Great. Two moms.

Better than one mom and
a lying, cheating dad,

or a stepdad who runs away to Africa
and sends back the other dad's kid.

I doubt that would happen again.

I didn't think it could
happen the first time.

Hey, hey, Amy, how are you?

I'm fine.

You know, we can k*ll this
rumor going around right now.

What rumor? It's not a rumor. It's true.

I knew it.

What do you mean you knew it?

We told you.

What does Ricky think?

He's happy about it.

Yeah. So it'll be the three of you?

Yeah. Yeah.

I think I'd be happy about it. It's...

It's kind of, you know, unconventional.

I thought you thought it was unromantic.

I don't know, I guess it
could be very romantic.

As long as Ricky's going along with it.

Well, yeah, of course he's okay with it.

Hey, I'm not surprised,
I mean, he's Ricky.

Yeah, um, Ethan, I really have to go.

I don't have time for
you right now. I'm sorry.

No, completely understandable.
You're a very busy lady.

I don't think anyone knew how busy.

♪ Falling in love is
such an easy thing to do

♪ Birds can do it We can do it

♪ Let's stop talking Let's get to it

♪ Let's fall in love

Well, It's a Private school, and
you right, it's a very good school,

But then again, this
is a very good school.

Ben, you'd be going to a
new school your senior year.

You really want to do that?

What if you and Dylan break up?

We're not going to
break up. We're in love.

I can get you an application
going to be the one I'm not

to approach your father
I'm not supportive.

You don't have to be supportive.

He has to be supportive.
He's got to pay the tuition.

He even has to pay
for you to apply there.

And I think it's about $1,200.

Really? Really.

(SIGHS)

What's he doing in there, anyway?

What do you think he's doing?
He's trying to transfer.

He's not going to transfer.

No. He is. If he gets accepted, he is.

But we're all friends
again, the three of us.

It's the three of us against the world.

The three of us plus one. Dylan.

And it's the two of us
against the two of them,

which really isn't a friendship,

or not the friendship we had, anyway.

But you and I are friends.

And I'm really happy about that.

Me too, Alice.

You know what I was thinking,

I mean, it's not the ideal,
but you and I could be

friends with benefits.

No. No, no, no. We are
not going to go there.

We've been there. But
we're just friends now.

Oh, we're still going to be friends.

I can't.

You can if you want.
That's what I'm saying.

Don't make me hurt your feelings, Alice.

You're not going to hurt my feelings.

Good. Because I can't.

You can.

I don't think the two of us
should do that with each other.

How about with someone else?

What if there's someone else
that I want to have sex with?

You mean like another girl?

What! No! Just because Amy's
in school is gay.every girl

No, but it certainly explains a lot.

I would never have sex with a girl.

They're dramatic, they're
fickle, they're emotional,

and it would be like
having sex with myself.

I just don't get it.

See, this is what I like
about our being friends.

I like hearing your thoughts
about not having sex with women.

This is a very stimulating conversation.

Shut up, Hank.

So you're not going
out with Jack tonight?

No. I told him I don't
even want to be friends.

He just wants to have
wanted.at's all he's ever

I think he wants more than that.

I think he wants a relationship.

Yeah. Well, I thought I did, too,

but it's just too much trouble to be

in a relationship
with a guy at this age.

What about a girl at this age?

(SCOFFS) I am not interested in
having a relationship with a woman,

especially not a sexual relationship.

And before you say anything,
I have nothing against lesbians

or gays or bis or trans or

anyone questioning what they are.

I just know what I am. And I
know I am not interested in women.

What?

Are you thinking about
having sex with a woman?

Well, I can't say I've never thought
about having sex with a woman.

I've thought about
kissing a woman, anyway.

Who?

I don't know.

Not me?

You? No! Of course not you.

Why not me? I've thought
about kissing you!

(STAMMERING) Oh, my God, I did
not say that. I did not mean that.

I have never thought about
kissing you or having sex with you.

All these rumors about Amy...

They're really confusing and
upsetting. I can't think straight.

I did not mean "straight" straight.

I have to go.

(LAUGHS)

Hi.

Hi. I left my stupid keys in my locker.

I have to pick up John from
the nursery and then go home

to study for my history
final. I'm not working today.

Are you just in a hurry to get home
because of all the talk at school?

No, I don't care what people
think about my wedding.

I don't know why everyone
is so weirded out by me

and Ricky getting married
on the Fourth of July.

I don't know, but you have heard
the rumors going around school?

No, but I know that everyone is
talking about my wedding plans.

They were talking about
your wedding plans and

then they were talking
about your mother.

Oh, please. That was ridiculous.

My father told Grace's mother
that he thinks my mother is gay

just so the two of them wouldn't
feel guilty about seeing each other.

Oh. I didn't know they
were seeing each other.

I hope no one knows because my mother
is not going to be too happy about it,

especially if she hears
it from someone else.

You know how she is. She hates getting
information after everyone else has it.

Yeah, which is why I thought
I might mention this to you.

Ben, my mother is not gay, okay?

Everyone knows that she's not gay,
and even if she is gay, who cares?

I don't care. I would hope
that she's not because obviously

that would simplify my life if her
and my dad eventually got back together

but hey, whatever.

So it was only a rumor. But now that
rumor has taken a turn in your direction.

What? What do you mean?

Oh, wait. Are people actually
talking about my mother

coming to my wedding with
another woman or something?

They're talking about you coming to your
wedding with another woman or something.

People are saying that you're gay
because, well, your mother is gay.

(LAUGHS) No, they're not.

No, they are. Here...

(SIGHS)

Yeah, sorry to be the one to tell you.

Wait, if people think I'm
gay because my mother is gay,

which she's not, then people must think
that Ricky is gay because his mother is gay.

No, not necessarily.

Are you sure?

I mean, maybe that's why everyone thinks
the Fourth of July wedding is so insane,

because we're both gay.

No. Not both. Just you.

+

What's up? Going out with Dylan?

Not tonight.

Tonight I've got to study, got
that history final coming up

and I'm hoping to ace
it, go out with a bang.

Summer school is almost over.

And you know, this time next year, I'll
be getting ready to go off to college.

You hope. Yeah, I do hope.

I'm going to do everything I can to
get into the best school possible.

What schools are you going to go for?

Funny you should ask that.

I was just talking to the counselor today
about what colleges would be best for me,

and I was slightly disappointed at
the colleges she was recommending.

Really? But your grades are
good and your SATs were good

and you still got time
to take those again.

Yeah, it's just that, well...

Our high school is rated
very highly academically,

but it just doesn't have that

sparkle that some of
the private schools have.

Let me guess. Like Dylan's school.

Please, Dad, please.
Just let me transfer.

Look, I know it's a lot of
money, it's $32,000, but...

(LAUGHS)

Thirty-two grand? Are you kidding me?

You have the money and what's more important
than investing in your child's education?

Do you have any idea
how much I pay in taxes?

I pay well beyond 50%
of my income in taxes!

And I don't try to avoid it.

I can pay, I pay, and a large percentage
of what I pay goes for public education.

I am not going to pay 32 grand
on top of what I pay in taxes

just so you can go make out with
your girlfriend your senior year.

Because I know you're not
that interested in academics.

You're going to finish at
the school where you started.

Just keep an open mind about it.

I don't have an open mind about this.

They have uniforms.

You know how much I could save on
clothes by wearing a uniform every day?

What kind of an argument is that?

They got uniforms in prison,
too. You want to go to prison?

You know how much money
that would save me?

Thirty-two grand a year, to
start with? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Dad, Dad, come on, just
consider it, please?

No.

Okay, well, I've planted the seed

and now I'll just let it grow.

Get out of here.

Okay, okay. Good night.

Thirty-two grand.

Ha.

Well, all the other girls
are getting bunk beds.

But you don't have a roommate.

Leo got you a private dorm room, so
you're not restricted to a bunk bed.

Betty, we could do something that
makes this more of a gathering place.

Like an antique recamier
with a tufted back

and a couple of Napoleon
chairs, but with a bold fabric.

Then we'll mix in some Lucite
tables in the French style

to get some modern pieces.

Leo says there's no budget on
this one. Do whatever you want.

Yeah, that's because
he's feeling guilty about

thinking about having
a kid with Camille.

He says he doesn't want one

but since he gives me
everything that I want

I bet you he does the same for her.

They can borrow any one of my five
children any time they feel the want.

Oh, dear. . Speaking of which,
we need to hurry this up.

I've got a teacher-parent meeting

and homework and on top of that,

Anne is coming back late
tonight or tomorrow morning

and I've got a ton of
business to go over with her

and I wasn't expecting her back.

Is she coming back
early because Amy is gay?

Amy Juergens is gay?

Yeah, but she's getting married
to Ricky on the Fourth of July.

Oh, good choice. It's
my favorite holiday.

But are you sure about this, Betty?

Oh, yeah. I heard it
from the kids at school,

they text me all the time.

And you know what? It makes
sense since her mother is gay.

Her mother-in-law.
Nora.

No, her mother. Anne.

Anne is gay.

Oh.

Have you ever thought about being gay?

Hello.

Oh, no, I thought you two
were going out for the night.

No, you didn't.

Hey, Adrian. Omar.

I didn't know you two were
seeing each other again.

I didn't either. (LAUGHS)

It's not going to prove anything.

What does that mean? This is
"not going to prove anything."

Oh, I don't know. I
told her I missed you.

And this proves it, if you ask me.

I was surprised to hear from you.

Really? Yeah.

I don't like her using him.

I don't know if she's using
him or if he's using her.

How would he be using her?

I think he's seeing Raven again, but
Raven is still seeing other guys, so...

So he's seeing Grace.

Don't say anything.
That's their business.

And besides, isn't
she still seeing Jack?

No, she's not seeing Jack.

She's angry with Jack
because Jack can't tell her

that he's absolutely
certain he would marry her.

Well, at this point, maybe
Jack should know that.

I mean, I know that about you.

You want to go in my bedroom?

I just got here. Let me catch my breath.

I think we should do it. I
think we've waited long enough.

Slow down, Grace, what's your hurry?

You don't want to have sex with me?

I think you know that I'm
really only comfortable with sex

when it's within an
exclusive relationship.

Well, I can give you that.

Well, I can't exactly
give you that right now.

I've been out a couple
of times with Raven.

Okay, well just don't
go out with her again.

It's not really that simple.

It is! It is that simple!

Grace, you cheated on me.

I really liked you, no, I
was even in love with you,

and you cheated on me.

It seems to me you're
more than a little fickle,

so excuse me if I don't just
jump back into bed with you.

You're just scared Raven
won't go out with you anymore.

Yeah.

Fine. Just go home.

(SCOFFS)

Well, all right.

I'm sorry I didn't fit into whatever
little scheme you have going on here.

Me too.

Good night.

Good night.

Ugh!

I hate men!

No! I didn't mean that.
What I meant was...

Never mind, if you're listening.

What is going on with her?

She's all paranoid.

We were talking about whether
or not Amy Juergens is gay,

which I think she is,

and I said I can't deny that
I've thought about kissing a girl

and Grace said she's attracted to me.

And ever since then, she's
been trying to take it back.

Want to call her in here?

(LAUGHS) I'm just
kidding. I'm not into that.

But I can't deny I've thought about it.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Just because you think about doing
something doesn't mean you'd actually do it.

Or that you really want to do it.

It just means you're thinking about it
or you thought about it. It means nothing.

Are you trying to convince
me or yourself of that?

You.

Are you kidding me?

What? What's going on?

Guys, can you please
stop? I'm trying to study.

Is that bothering you?

It's not bothering you? It's probably
bothering the whole neighborhood!

Yeah, but how else is he going to learn?

Well, he doesn't have to learn tonight!

Tonight I have to study for a test.

Come on, he'll be in bed
in another 20 minutes.

I can't take another 20 minutes of
that. I can't take another two minutes.

Why are you in such a bad mood?

Something happen at school today?

Yeah, something always
happens at school.

That's why I want to pass this test,

get through my senior year
and get the hell out of school.

Wow. "Get the hell out"? Must
have been a big something.

You know, don't you?

I suspected all along. Otherwise,
you'd marry me right away.

You know what? That's not funny.

I can't believe people think I'm gay.

Oh, come on, laugh it
off. It's ridiculous.

You're not gay just because
your mother is gay. I'm not gay.

No one thinks you're gay. That's
why you can laugh about it.

And my mother is not gay.

Maybe we should move the wedding up.

What's another gay day to get married?

What?

Yeah, people think that the
Fourth of July is some kind of

high holy day for gay marriage.

Since when?

Since you set the date, I guess.

Okay, that's not funny
either. None of this is funny.

It's all funny.

(JOHN PLAYING DRUMS)

Come on, buddy, jam session's over.

I am not gay. I am deeply heterosexual.

Gay.

Must be going around
gaycare. I mean, daycare.

(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)

+

(SIGHS)

I wonder how long it's gonna
take them to get through customs.

You think they got stuck in customs?

I don't know. Depends on
how much stuff they bought.

Oh, but I think they'll just
let us know when they land.

They haven't even landed yet.

By the way, I got all my
stuff out of Ashley's room.

You didn't have to do that.
She'll be out of here in a week.

You can keep the room. Yeah, we'll see.

Oh, and I put fresh sheets on
Amy's bed so you can sleep in there.

You let Anne have your room tonight.

They've been traveling all
day. They're going to be tired.

Yeah, yeah, or I can sleep on the
couch and you can have Amy's room.

You don't think they
heard that, you know...

That Amy is gay?

Amy? You mean Anne, don't you?

Nope, I mean Amy, that's the latest.

But Amy's getting married.

On a gay holiday and
her mother is gay. Yay!

Oh! You lose.

So, wait, you're saying
you know Anne's gay?

No, I'm not saying that.

She better be gay or I'm up
the creek without a paddle.

Are you going to tell
her about Kathleen?

You mean that I told
Kathleen that she's gay?

No, I meant are you going to tell
Anne that you're seeing Kathleen

and that you told her she's gay.

Nah, she'll have enough to worry
about when she finds out Amy is gay.

Wait. Did you say the Fourth
of July is a gay holiday?

Well, it wasn't.

But apparently someone at the high
school started that rumor and now it is.

Teenagers.

What's gay about the
Fourth of July? Hot dogs?

I don't know. I have never
heard that one before.

Um, could it be volleyball?

Uncle Sam? Uncle Sam is not gay.

Plenty flamboyant clothing
he's wearing there.

And hey, what does gay look like?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Like that. Ashley's gay friend.

Hey, long time, no see. How you doing?

Come on in.

Griffin, Nora. Nora, Griffin.

You're both gay, just so you both know.

Well, I never had any doubts about me,
anyway, but I don't usually introduce myself

starting with my sexual identity.

Ignore him. He's just ignorant.

Nice to meet you. You
want to play cards?

Do gay men play poker?

Do straight men pee in the woods?

What? Funny. I like you.

Deal me in.

What does that mean?

It means gay men do everything
straight men do except sleep with women.

And sometimes we do that too,
now that I think about it.

I am so happy to have some relief
here. I can't even tell you.

I just thought I'd stop by, say hello.

Wait for Ashley to get home?

Ashley's coming home? Tonight?

If you didn't know she's coming
home, why'd you stop by to say hello?

Oh, let me guess.

Because Amy's gay?

You thought George might
need some help with that?

Amy's gay?

Yeah, I might have heard that.

In addition to mentioning that
I'm gay in his introduction,

maybe George should have
mentioned that I am Ricky's mom

and I'm going to be Amy's
mother-in-law, because Amy is not gay.

So it's just Anne?

How did you know about that?

I'll tell you how, because some bigmouth
said something about it to someone

and she said something about it to
her daughter and so on and so forth.

You think Anne knows?

That she's gay?

That people are saying that she's gay.

Not people! Your
people! Your girlfriend!

And Anne's not going to be too
happy about that. Bet on it.

You have a girlfriend?

I might.

I'm surprised any woman would
go out with you at this point.

What point?

Oh, you've been hit, too.

Hit?

By the rumors.

Oh, I can't wait.
What is it? What is it?

Oh, you'll like this.
Apparently, you turn women gay.

No, I don't!

Oh! (LAUGHS)

I don't. There's no turning.

You are or you aren't
or you're figuring it out

or emerging or evolving or whatever.

You've been reading again, haven't you?

Just deal.

(SIGHS)

(RINGING)

Hi, Mom.

Mmm. Hey, I made your
favorite cake tonight.

I thought you said you might drop by.

(SIGHS) I wish I had.

Well, it's not too late.

No, it is.

Are you okay?

Mom, do we have any...

Gay genes?

I don't know, what kind
of jeans are gay jeans?

Are there gay jeans?

I don't know, aren't there?
That's what I've heard.

Honey, I don't think a pair
of jeans can make you gay.

Unless they're really, really tight.

(CHUCKLES)

That was a joke.

No, I mean like genes as in genetics.

Yes, I realize that now.

Are you asking because kids
at school are saying Amy is gay

or because I told you that Anne is gay?

How do you know that kids at
school are saying that Amy is gay?

Because now I have a kid in
the house who tells me things.

Fine. Go talk to him, then.

No, honey, talk to me, what's going on?

Nothing.

Really, Grace, come over.

I've eaten half the cake
waiting for George to call

to let me know if I'm off the hook,

if we are off the hook,

the two of us, you and me.

For what?

He's the one who opened
his big mouth and told us

his ex-wife was gay. It's
not like we just made it up.

Yeah, well, I never
should have told you.

I mean, if I have any hope of having
a good relationship with George,

I'm going to have to
get along with Anne.

Well, you don't have to
get along with her too well.

What? What do you mean?

You don't have to sleep with her.

Of course not!

You don't have to
sleep with him, either.

Honey, who said anything about
sleeping with either one of them?

I'm still married and I'm
not having sex with George,

although, at some point, I might.

Do you want to tell me what's going on?

You know I'll find out anyway.

Hi, Grace.

Hi.

Omar went home 20 minutes ago.

Yeah, well, so what?

So, it's just you and me here.

Oh, and I just got out of the shower.

I am not attracted to you.

Yeah, you are. No, I'm not!

It's okay.

It's not okay. I am not gay.

You may not be, but I think
you're afraid you're gay.

No, I'm not. You know
why? Because I'm just not.

Just because you've thought about
kissing me, that doesn't mean you're gay.

Look, I just said the
wrong thing, all right?

All right, all right.

I'm just gonna sit over here and study.

You know, you should study,
too. We have that history final.

We've been studying for that for weeks,

and if I wanted to study for it,
I would just study in my room.

Would you stop being ridiculous?

Nothing has changed. We're just two
girls sharing an apartment for the summer

and studying for a history exam.

Okay, come on. We gotta get
things back to normal here.

It's too weird and it's all my fault.

I promise I'll stop teasing you.

It's me, Grace. Your best friend.

We should be able to talk
to each other about anything,

tease each other about anything.

And I see that we can't and
I've made you uncomfortable.

I apologize.

Okay, well, I just want
things to go back to normal.

(SIGHS)

Sorry.

No problem.

I can't believe I said that.

Forget about it. It
didn't mean anything.

I know, but still... Hey.

I said I've thought
about kissing a girl.

Doesn't make me gay.

Yeah, but you didn't say who.

Angelina Jolie.

(CHUCKLING) What?

I don't know, she's really pretty.

And I've honestly thought about it.

But you wouldn't like actually
kiss her if you had the chance.

Uh, I might, yeah.

Have you ever kissed a girl before?

No. Honestly, I never even thought about
it until I heard that Katy Perry song,

she kissed a girl and liked it. Yeah.

I don't know. It just made me curious.

Or, I was curious anyway and then
I felt free to say I was curious.

Kiss me.

What?

Yeah. You're curious. I'm curious.

Kiss me.

All right.

(GASPS)

I have never gotten any
complaints from any guys.

(CLEARS THROAT)

+

I don't know, the
tuition's a little steep.

Just fill out the application
and worry about the tuition later.

It's $1,200 to apply. I need
money from him right now.

You have a credit card?

Put it on your credit card.

You can put it on my
credit card if you want.

I believe in you, Ben.

And I would love to have
you at my school next year.

Wouldn't it bebe great? The two
of us at the same high school?

I really want to do
this. Please do this.

Maybe we should just think
about going to the same college.

I'm only going to be a junior next year,
so that would be two years from now.

I don't want to wait two
years to be at the same school.

Yeah, two years is a
long time, you're right.

I'll charge it.

I mean, a $1,200 charge
will go through on my card

and then my dad can
just clobber me later.

I mean, what's the point about arguing
about tuition if I don't even get in?

Right.

What's going on? What's the emergency?

Are you all right? Why añe you dying?

From what? You look okay to me.

Jack, where have you been?

Isn't it obvious I was
at football practice?

I just got suited up and I went
to put my phone in my locker

and I saw I had 27 messages.

What are you doing here? Why
are you in the guest house?

Because as of right now,
I live in the guest house.

Did you and Adrian get
in a fight or something?

Or something.

Grace, this better be important
or I am in big trouble.

This isn't a high school team
I'm on anymore. It's college.

I could get kicked off for
not showing up on the field.

Just tell me what's going on so I
can get back before anyone notices.

I kissed Adrian.

Really? Say that again.

Well, I didn't kiss her. She
kissed me. I asked her to kiss me.

Really?

Yeah, and I don't really
know why I did that.

Yeah, I don't know why you did
either, but I'm glad you did.

Why? I don't know. I just am.

Where were you?

I'm not going to give
you all the details.

Then why'd I come over here?

Because I need you to kiss me.

Yeah, sure. I'll kiss you.

And I need you to be my
boyfriend and have sex with me.

Lots and lots and lots of sex, okay?

Day and night, around the clock, 24-7.

Oral sex, sex sex, any kind
of sex, all kinds of sex.

I need that. With you.

Okay, this was totally
worth leaving practice for.

And you have no idea why Grace would
move home in the middle of the night?

No.

What could have happened?

Maybe she and Adrian got into it.

I don't think it has
anything to do with Adrian.

I think it has to do with Jack.

His car is outside.

You're kidding.

No, I'm not kidding. Maybe he and
I can move back in the guest house.

I have a feeling if Jack moves back into
the guest house, it'll be with Grace.

Oh no, he is not moving into
the guest house with Grace.

I second that.

I'll find out what's going on.

I'll let you know. Thank you.

What is wrong with you?

Brothers do not rat out sisters.

I'm protecting Grace.

From what?

I don't really know. That's
just what your mother said.

You can't listen to her.

Mothers will tell you
anything to get information.

That's ridiculous.

My mother and I have a very open
relationship. We tell each other everything.

Why wouldn't I tell
your mother everything?

Because this is America.

Everyone lies to their mother.

They do not.

Do they?

Yes.

Well, she's not my mother.

Your father is my father but
your mother is not my mother.

I have a very bad temper, you know.

(SIGHS) Mom and Ashley
got stuck in Amsterdam.

They're still not home yet.

Are you going to leave
school when they get home?

No, I'm not going to school.

I'm not going to have people
guessing whether or not I'm gay.

They're going to do that
whether or not you're at school.

Amy, you have to go to
school. This is ridiculous.

Is it? Would you go to school
if people were pointing at you

and whispering behind your back
trying to figure out if you're gay?

First of all, there is
nothing wrong with being gay.

Except that I'm not.

Secondly, don't get all upset and nervous
because a bunch of idiots are texting.

Well, I don't like it,
okay? I just don't like it.

I'm gonna go over to
my dad's house and wait

for my mom and Ashley to get there.

Griffin is over there, you
know, he spent the night.

Griffin? What is Griffin doing there?

Oh, no. He, uh, heard the rumors.

I think he went over
to talk to your dad,

see how your dad was, see if
he could offer some support.

Because I'm gay?

(LAUGHS) Are you?

That does it. I am going to school.

You have a history final.
You have to go to school.

I am. And I'm going to
tell everyone I am not gay.

People are probably going to be talking
about something entirely different today.

It's high school. That's
how high school is.

You know that. So don't
do anything stupid.

(SIGHS)

I forgot John.

(SIGHS)

Bonjour!

Hi, George. It's good to be home.

Let me get that for you.

Hey, sugarplum, how was France? Fine.

Oh, don't tell me all I'm
going to get is "fine."

She needs some sleep.
We both need sleep.

First I wanna go check on Robie.

Is that lady still in my room?

Nora? No, I had her take everything out.
It's all yours, as long as you want it.

I don't really want it. I
just need someplace to crash.

You got it. You want
some breakfast first?

Not really.

God, how many people did you
feed in here this morning?

Oh, your buddy came by to
see you last night. Griffin.

And he stayed for breakfast?

Uh, yeah. We stayed up all night
playing cards, waiting on you two.

Why? Because you've been gone for weeks.

No, why would Griffin stay up all night
with you waiting for me to get home?

Because he missed you?

What's going on? Nothing.

Never mind. I'll ask Griffin.

Ask Griffin what?

Robie's still asleep.

Why he stayed up all night with Dad
playing cards waiting for me to get home.

Oh, that was sweet.

Uh-huh. We'll see. Good night.

Boy, the trip to Europe did her some
good. She's more delightful than ever.

She's tired.

We spent the layover in
Amsterdam seeing the city

when we should have gotten a
hotel room and gotten some sleep.

We've been up almost 48 hours, except
for a couple of naps on the plane.

I really need to get to bed.

Yeah, sure. I set the room up for
you, cleaned the sheets, everything.

Did you? I sure did.

Well, you know, Robie's still
sleeping and I really did miss you.

Do you want to go back to bed with me?

Could be like old times.

Really, we could just go
back to the way things were.

If you hadn't told Kathleen that I'm
gay and she hadn't told the entire world!

We'll talk when I get up.

Yikes.

+

Hey! Ashley!

(MOANS JOYFULLY)

What? You called me all the way back
over here and this is the greeting I get?

What were you doing
over here last night?

I just droed by to
say hello to your dad.

He and Nora were playing cards
and I just hung out. I don't know.

No, you know. I know what?

You know something.

Oh. I thought I knew something,
but it turns out I don't.

Uh-huh. What don't you know, then?

That Amy is gay?

I knew it!

No, no, you don't know anything.
It turns out it was a rumor.

Well, sometimes rumors are true.

Sometimes.

The Fourth of July was a sign.

Where do people get this, that the
Fourth of July is a gay holiday?

I'm gay and I've never
heard of that before.

Oh, come on. Shorts? Bandanas? Visors?

Everyone wears shorts, bandanas, visors.

Well, everyone includes gays.

I think you're reaching.

Maybe.

So Amy is gay.

Does Ricky know yet?

You're not back to
that, are you? To Ricky?

I can't believe that the two of
you did not tell me that that's

what people were talking about.

Well, you can't just walk
up to someone and say, "Hey,

"there's a rumor going around
school about you that you're gay."

Yes, you can.

Ben did. Ben told me.

I really don't like that you and
Ben are getting so close again.

Why not? Ben is never going to come
between Ricky and me. We're just friends.

Are you sure you're
going to marry Ricky?

I set the date.

Yeah, but it's... The Fourth
of July is not a gay holiday!

It is now. That's the
power of suggestion.

People hear it, they believe it, whether
it's absolutely ridiculous or not.

Until something more
ridiculous comes along.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hey, if you guys hear
anything, it's totally true.

Yeah, okay, thanks.

Wait. Wait. What would we have heard?

Do we have to do this?

Come on, you know you
want to. No, I don't.

Oh, forget it. I thought you
guys already probably heard.

I mean, Grace did move out in the
middle of the night, and by now

I thought she would have texted
Jack and Jack would have texted you.

And you would have told Henry
and Henry would have told Ben.

Oh, the suspense is building.

No, it's not. No, it is.

Why did Grace go home in
the middle of the night?

Did you two get in a fight?

Like was there physical
contact or anything?

Stop it.

Oh, it was just something stupid.

I kissed her.

Well, she asked me to kiss
her and so I kissed her

and then she got all
freaked out about it.

See you guys later.

Good morning.

Good morning. Oh, and by
the way, hey, I am not gay!

And the Fourth of July
is not a gay holiday.

Whatever. No one cares about that now.

You can't always be
the center of attention.

I don't want to be the center of
attention. Where did she get that?

Hey, okay, I am not gay!

All right? If any of you are still talking
about my mother or me or my wedding,

my mother is not gay, I am
not gay. I am getting married

and the Fourth of July is
not some kind of gay holiday!

No one's talking about that.

Oh, really? What are they talking about?

Adrian and Grace kissed.

Each other.

Yeah. Breaking news.

Wow.

Don't get any ideas.

What's up? Want to go sh**t some hoops?

No, I don't.

I just thought you might be
interested in a text I got from Raven.

Why would I be interested
in a text from Raven?

'Cause you're the one who told me
that Grace wanted to sleep with me

just to prove she's
not attracted to Adrian.

Hey, don't be spreading
that around, all right?

Adrian would get really upset with me.

Yeah, or you would get
really upset with Adrian.

Don't you two have some sort of
agreement to be just with each other?

She and Grace kissed
each other last night.

What? And Raven knows that how?

Well, let me see.

Adrian told Ben and Ben told Dylan
and Dylan told Raven and Raven told me.

That can't be true. And if it is?

I mean, just because a girl kisses
a girl does not mean that she's gay!

You're making way too much of this.

Am I? Am I making too much of this?

Because if this ever got out...

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(WHISPERING) Oh, my...