02x04 - The Sex Cabin

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ Damn this is t*rture ♪

♪ Don't stop here, this is your sign ♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Oh, ho, ho!

Sarah! You're here early.

You know I have cameras
all over this place.

Just kidding. Or am I?

Okay. Um...

♪ You feel so nice ♪

♪ Ain't no left turns
everything's right ♪

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, guys.

Uh, Benji, your mom
made a lemon icebox pie.

Be right down.

[KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING]

Aw, you're using Nana's throw.

Benji's grandmother made that
for him right before she d*ed.

Really? It's, uh...

It's soft.

♪

♪ You feel so nice ♪

♪ Ain't no left turns,
everything's right ♪

♪ Boy, FYI ♪

BENJI: Victor, how are
your hands on my face

- and my butt at the same time?
- What?

[ALL CHATTERING, EXCLAIMING]

[CRASHING]

Sorry. Benji, I, uh, I didn't,
I didn't realize that was you.

But you know, to be fair, you
and Lake have identical butts.

Oh.

- A huge compliment.
- Thanks.

Benji and I have been having
a hard time finding privacy.

Same! Lake and I are
constantly getting interrupted.

If that rabbi tells us that the
synagogue lawn is "private property"

one more time...

Well, my family has a
cabin at Lake Lanier.

Why don't we all go up this weekend?

We could swim, or hike,

or, uh... whatever.

Sounds amazing. Yeah, I
just gotta check my cal.

Oh. Well, I synced our cals,

and we are wide open.

[BELL RINGS]

Well, come on, butt twin.

We gotta go t*nk a chem test.

[CHUCKLES] Bye!

[DOOR OPENS]

- [BOTH SIGH]
- I got a question.

You and Benji...

How do I ask this like a gentleman?

We haven't had sex yet.

We've done everything else, though.

A lot of really, really
good "everything else."

Same! I...

Lake has been wanting
to take things slow.

Which I totally respect.

I mean, she talks a
big game, but deep down,

she is pruder than my Aunt Barbara.

Yeah. You know, it's just...

I just kind of want our first
time to be special, you know?

And it's so hard to find privacy.

But nothing sounds more private
than a secluded lake house.

I can't believe we're gonna be
losing our virginities together.

You know, we're gonna be bone brothers.

Yeah, okay. Don't, don't call us that.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- Deflowered dudes?

♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be all right ♪

♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be just fine ♪

♪ If someone has been there
before, say it right now ♪

♪ 'Cause I just need to hear it ♪

♪

Hello! Hello. Hi. Hi.

What's with the dumb smile?

Is that a weed scone? 'Cause
it's eight in the morning.

Tyler made it.

He took me to watch the sun rise
over Piedmont Park this morning.

Okay. Damn.

College guy is romantic as balls.

I could listen to him talk
about his art projects forever.

The boy does seem to
talk a lot about his art.

Oh, my God, wait. You
should totally bring him

to Benji's cabin this weekend!

I mean, everyone's going.

You think?

I mean, we've only
been out a couple times.

I mean, Andrew is bringing
Lucy. Would that be weird?

I don't know.

I mean, he's with Lucy now,
and I'm excited about Tyler.

Well, great. I will tell Benji.

Wait, are you and Felix
gonna do it this weekend?

- [BELL RINGS]
- Um...

Maybe. Yeah, I mean, I haven't
really thought about it.

You have a whole "losing your
virginity" Pinterest board.

LAKE: I mean, yeah, I
have thought about it.

But yeah, I don't know if
it's really the right vibe.

You know, a bunch of
sweaty, horned-up teenagers

drinking room temp beer in the woods?

- No.
- Cabins are so romantic.

I mean, there's lying under the stars

with your favorite person,

and thinking about how small
you actually are, and...

Okay, I'm trying this.

Thank you very much. Bye!

[BELL RINGS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Hey, uh, can I talk to you
about something really quick?

[DOOR CLOSES]

You guys ready to spend
the weekend at my place?

I got the Scrabble board all set up!

How many points for "k*ll me now?"

Um, actually, I-I was
just about to tell Mom,

uh, Benji invited us all
to his cabin for the night,

and I really want to go.

Uh, okay. Uh, we'll hang
out next weekend. [CHUCKLES]

Armando.

Don't you think we should
talk about this in private?

Yes! Discuss it privately.

Maybe in the bedroom,
over a nice glass of vino?

He watched The Parent Trap,

so now he thinks he can trick
us into getting back together.

There will be no vino.
It is : a. m.,

and it's not a major holiday.
Go, and get ready for Papi's.

Mom, there's nothing to discuss.

I understand you don't like the
idea of me going away with Benji.

But that's not a good reason
for you to ruin this for me.

Damn. Gay Victor has way bigger
balls than straight Victor.

Your father said yes.

So go.

Thanks.

And thank you, Papi.

Sure.

["PARENTS HOUSE" BY KID BLOOM PLAYING]

Wow. This place is insane.

Benji, are you low-key rich?

I make twelve dollars an
hour at Brasstown coffee.

But my grandpa invented this
non-damaging straightening iron...

- so...
- Oh, my God. Can you thank him for me?

VICTOR: This place is amazing.

I know. Can you imagine
the bird-watching here?

I don't know what I'm more excited
about... the birds or the sex.

♪ Baby, every night ♪

Pretty great, right?

My family's had it forever.

I'm really excited we're here.

Me, too.

[VICTOR CHUCKLES]

[EXHALES]

[SHOWER WATER RUNNING]

[SIGHS] Okay...

Hey, Simon.

You said I could talk
to you about anything.

So, I think that I'm
gonna have sex with Benji

for the first time tonight,

and I was wondering if
you're around to chat.

[PHONE BLOOPS]

Uh, hey, babe?

Do you guys have WiFi here?

No service. No WiFi.

And it takes a second, but...

it actually feels really
great to just... disconnect.

[SIGHS] Feels great already.

["FEVERISH" BY MPAX X CAROLENA PLAYING]

TYLER: One time I went into the studio

to work for twenty minutes before lunch,

and next thing I know,
the sun is coming up.

I'm like that, too.

Like, when I'm in the zone,
the hours just, like, fly by.

- Um-hmm.
- I started getting into painting recently.

I'm currently in a water color phase.

Oh. Cute.

I'm working on this new photo series

where I'm taking pictures of my hand.

Right, you mentioned that this morning.

It's gonna be close ups of my hands,

holding all these different objects

- from throughout my life.
- [CAR CLUNKING]

- You know, rattles, bottles...
- Is your car usually this loud?

No. But I don't really
take her on road trips much.

- [CLUNKING, RATTLING]
- Tyler, I think you should stop.

- Okay, yeah, it's, um... yeah.
- Yeah.

[MIA SIGHS]

It's okay. I have a spare.

Great.

I hate to ask, but do you
think you could change it?

I just don't want to mess with my hands

right in the middle of my photo series.

I'll be your tire wingman
every step of the way.

[CHUCKLES] Uh, sure.

TYLER: Thanks.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Isa?

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Oh, look who it is! The good cop.

[SIGHS] Adrian forgot his turtle.

- He really loves that thing.
- Yeah.

I heard him talking to her the other day

about how they were gonna
get married one day. [LAUGHS]

She's not there.

- [GASPS]
- What?

I must have forgotten to close it when

- I fed her this morning.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]

I can't believe I lost his future bride!

I mean, I don't think
we should normalize that.

Well, she's gotta be around.

Her species isn't
known for speed, right?

Here, Heather!

BENJI: Wow, Victor.

You know, I promise you, today's
TikToks will still be there tomorrow.

[CHUCKLES] Sorry.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- ANDREW: Yo!

- [LAUGHS]
- Hello, hello.

- ALL: Hey.
- LUCY: Hey, what's up?

Benji, this place is legit!

We are definitely doing it on
a bearskin rug this weekend.

LUCY: Oh, my God. Gross, Andrew.

Bedrooms are down the hall.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

You know, there's a sexy
rug in our room, too.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, but we'll barely
even be in there, right?

We'll just be hanging out
with everyone else all night.

Oh.

Okay.

I'm gonna go freshen up.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

Uh, I just told my parents I'd
let them know when we got here,

and I don't want them
to freak out on me.

Oh, well, the general store has service.

It's ten minutes into
town. I'll walk with you.

Oh, no, no, no.

I can go with. Uh, Lake
actually needs some bug spray.

You know those mosquitoes

can't resist, uh, her delicate veins.

Uh, okay, yeah. Yeah.
We'll be right back.

Just stay here and host.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

CONFESSION: I don't need bug spray.

I just need to talk.
One virgin to another.

Yeah, what's up?

[SIGHS] This whole trip
was supposed to be about

me spending some alone time with Lake.

Now she's acting all weird about it.

And I get wanting to take things slow,

but I'm starting to wonder if
she's just not that into me.

Like, physically.

Felix, that's not true.

Must be so much simpler with two guys.

Uh, don't be so sure.

Are you stressed about
having sex with Benji?

It's just... Benji's had sex before.

And I have no idea what I'm doing.

Like, when it's two guys,

how do you know who's
supposed to do what?

[SIGHS] I don't know. It's just...

Straight people grow up

seeing other straight
people have sex in movies.

I didn't have that.

Unless you count p*rn,

which is usually really fast,

and grunty, and they're
always named Cade.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no. I know Cade.

Yeah, he does straight p*rn, too.

[SIGHS] I just...

really needed a gay person
to talk me through this.

SIMON [ON VOICEMAIL]: You've
reached Simon. Leave a message.

- [VOICEMAIL BEEPS]
- [SIGHS]

Hey, Simon.

Uh, sorry about all the texts.

And the DMs, and now this voicemail.

But if you could give me a call
back within the next ten minutes

and tell me everything I
could possibly need to know

about gay sex,

that would be great. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, this is Victor, by the way.

Hope you're well.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

ANDREW: What up, lover boy?

Dah, who am I kidding?

Ah, sexual health.

- So important. Underfunded in schools.
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]

So, you and Lucy have
a very robust sex life.

- Sure.
- Lake and I do, too.

You know, s-s... not, well,
you know, not yet, but we...

We will one day.

- So you and Lake haven't...
- You know...

You probably won't understand
'cause you're gorgeous, but, uh,

I'm just, I'm starting
to wonder if Lake is...

All right, man. You need to relax.

Stressed and desperate are not turn-ons.

You have to be... confident.

Well, stressed and desperate
is my resting state.

All right, look. Sex is scary
for everyone the first time.

I think the key is accepting

that some moments will forever live on

in the sexual blooper reel of our lives.

If you're with the right person,

doesn't matter.

Well, that's how it was for me, anyway.

Oh, and grooming is no
longer just for the ladies,

so, if downtown Felix looks
anything like uptown Felix...

Tidy up.

♪

FELIX: I know we don't like Andrew,

but he just gave me
some surprisingly sweet,

and very specific sex advice.

Well, congratulations.

I'm sorry. I'm just really
freaked out right now.

Victor, everything is gonna be fine.

All right? From the words of a
sex god, stressed is not a turn on.

You just need to relax.

And how exactly do
you suggest I do that?

ANDREW: Yo! You nerds
ready to get loose?

I got vodka.

♪

[SIGHS] Okay, uh,

I, I finished taking off the
lug nuts. What do I do next?

Tyler!

[CAMERA WINDING]

Tyler!

Sorry. There's a really pretty
beetle on top of this pile of sh*t.

The juxtaposition
between beauty and filth,

- it's just, it's...
- What do I do after the lug nuts, Tyler?

[MIA EXHALES]

ISABEL: You should go home.

You're missing your whole
weekend with the kids.

ARMANDO: I am not going
back there without a turtle.

That little boy's already on the brink.

Who isn't?

Look, I know you're mad at me for

letting Victor go to
the lake with Benji,

but I want him to know
that I support him.

That's what they tell us
to do at my PFLAG meetings.

You know what? I'm
really impressed with you.

How you're handling all of this.

A lot of guys would get
all weird and machista,

but you're really trying.

- Okay. All right. [LAUGHS]
- I'm serious.

Who would have thunk that
the -year-old tough guy

walking around school
with his little goatee,

listening to Naughty
By Nature on his Walkman

would turn out to be such a
caring and sensitive father?

I love me some Naughty By Nature.

Whew. You are...

lapping me at dealing with this, Mando.

You'll get there.

Yeah, I, I know you will.

Thank you.

Hmm. We should look for the turtle.

Yeah.

ANDREW: Let me see that.

Delish.

[SIGHS] Uh, hey, can I have some more?

Thanks.

[LIQUID POURING]

Pace yourself.

I'll be fine. [LAUGHS]

I hope Mia's okay. She
should be here by now.

[SIGHS] Let's play a drinking game. Huh?

Ooh, let's play something
where we can get Benji naked.

Or we can play Never Have I Ever.

Okay. I'll go first.

Never have I ever had a sex dream

about my mailman.

Aah. Not cool.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Okay, let me go.

Never have I ever had sex

with more than three people.

- LUCY: At once?
- ANDREW: No!

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Oh! [LAUGHS]

Hey, Victor.

Looks like you've got yourself an
experienced lover on your hands.

[VICTOR CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

- [SIGHS]
- Wanna check on those nachos with me?

Uh, I'm gonna go and find Felix.

LAKE: Oh. Mia. Finally.

You are just in time
for Never Have I Ever.

Aah. Um...

Never have I ever dumped a college guy

by the side of the road

because he turned out to
be an insufferable jackass,

and then walked the last
five miles to a cabin.

Just me?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GULPING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Can I get you a drink?

[EXHALES]

Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on...

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

- [THUDS]
- Aah! Oh!

Damn!

[GRUNTS] Okay...

Aah!

- Ooh...
- Holy sh*t!

[EXHALES] Close the door.

Felix, what did you do?

I had a little man-scaping accident.

I couldn't find the shaving
cream, so I used conditioner,

and all that hair and skin and
conditioner got very slippery...

What happened to your head?

I fell off the bed.

Look at us.

Two virgins,

bleeding out in the bathroom.

At least it's not on your head.

Oh, no.

I got the head.

Oh, Felix.

You know, probably a stupid question,

but why don't you just tell Benji

that you're nervous to have sex?

For the same reason you
don't want to talk to Lake.

It's embarrassing.

More embarrassing than this?

Oh, there you are.

Hey. Sorry for vanishing.

[GROANS SOFTLY]

You okay?

Are you limping?

No! No, no, this is, uh,
actually, uh, you know.

New walk I've been trying.

Right?

Okay, fine. Um, I, uh...

I shaved, and I...

... cut my testicles, and a
teensy, tiny bit of my penis.

Oh...

Wait. Why?

Because I wanted...

things to look good for you.

In case, you know,
tonight was the night we...

took it to a new level.

But I've been kind of getting your vibe

that you don't want to do
that, which is perfectly fine.

I want to do everything
exactly how you want.

But I mean...

I need to know if you
find me attractive.

Because not knowing has
been making me spiral.

Felix.

[GROANS]

You are the best person
I have ever known.

And I am counting
that time I met Malala.

But it's just...

It's my own stuff.

[EXHALES]

When I was five,

my mom started putting me on diets.

And making me do weigh-ins.

And if I was down, she'd be like,

"Oh, good job. You did it!"

But if I was up...

She would look so disappointed.

Then, every day,

she texts me some new article or fad.

- Lake, you are the most...
- Beautiful woman you've ever seen?

Yeah, I know that. You tell me,
like, a thousand times a day.

But it is just really, really hard

for me to see what you see.

You are the most beautiful woman

I have ever seen.

And I know you might not believe me.

But I'm not gonna stop telling you.

So how about we forget
about sex tonight,

and just...

do something fun and stupid?

Yeah, that sounds good.

Okay. What do you wanna do?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[DOOR OPENS, THEN CLOSES]

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

Just wanted to make
sure that you were okay.

Oh.

Thanks. Yeah.

Uh, I'm fine.

Hmm.

I'm sorry things didn't work
out with your college guy.

It was just nice to be
excited about someone.

I'm really happy for
you and Lucy, by the way.

Thank you.

She's pretty great.

Hmm.

It's kind of overwhelming.

The universe. How big it is.

How small we are in comparison.

Kind of makes me nauseous.

A good nauseous,

like going up in a roller coaster.

Yeah.

What?

- What?
- Nothing.

♪

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

There you are.

I went for a walk by myself.

'Cause my boyfriend's been acting
pretty weird since we got here.

I'm... terrified to have
sex for the first time.

I just don't really want our first time

to be something else that you
have to hold my hand through.

I don't want you to feel like you...

always have to teach me how to be gay.

Victor, I know who I'm dating.

There's a lot that's new to you,

and that's fine with me.

Although, for the record,

a lot of gay stuff seems to
come very naturally to you.

[VICTOR CHUCKLES]

Besides, this is new
and scary for me, too.

The idea of being with someone who I...

Well, you know how I feel about you.

Can we just lay like this
for the rest of the night?

That sounds perfect.

Okay...

So on three, we're
gonna drop our towels.

Okay.

- One...
- One...

BOTH: Two...

- Three.
- Three.

[TOWELS FLAPPING]

Whoa.

You dropped your towel.

So did you. [CHUCKLES]

Uh-huh.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Come on.

[GASPS] Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!
- [SPLASHING]

FELIX: Hot damn, does that
feel good on my nicked penis!

["FADE INTO YOU" BY BLONDE MAZE PLAYING]

That was amazing.

♪ And I see nothing ♪

And unexpected.

Mmm-hmm.

Probably get back to the kids.

Yeah.

♪ You live your life ♪

♪ You go in shadows ♪

FELIX: So...

- Last night was...
- Yeah, it was.

I can't believe I lost my
virginity on an actual lake.

Is it poetic, or too on the nose?

♪ Some kind of light
into your darkness ♪

♪ Colors your eyes
with what's not there ♪

[PHONE CHIMES]

SIMON: Victor, sorry I missed your call.

And you're right... I did tell
you we could talk about anything.

But your sex life is...

Well, it's between you and Benji.

If you're truly ready,

you won't need my
advice, or anyone else's.

The only person who can
make that decision is you.

Morning.

Good morning.

I love you.

You don't have to say
it back or anything,

- but I just...
- I love you, too.

I was scared to say it yesterday, but...

Of course I do.

Look at you.

Taking the lead in our relationship.

♪ Fade into you ♪

♪ Strange ♪

♪ You never knew ♪

[VICTOR CHUCKLES]

♪ Fade into you ♪

Is this okay?

Yeah.

♪ I think it's strange ♪

♪ You never knew ♪

♪ A stranger's light comes on slowly ♪

♪ A stranger's heart without a home ♪

♪ You put your hands into your head ♪