01x08 - Assignment: Get That Assignment!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
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A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
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01x08 - Assignment: Get That Assignment!

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm so proud of myself.

I turned in my creative
writing assignment... on time.

You mean the one you already
got three extensions on?

Yep. Made it in just under the wire.

Yeah, the final, final, final wire.

So what'd you write your story about?

It is about a teenage spy
who is protecting this guy

who is wanted all over the world.

See, he'd been involved
in some sort of, um...

Cyber-att*ck? Yeah, yeah!

The main character's name is Dirk Henry.

He's hiding out in a safehouse at
an abandoned railway station...

Both: ...in Diriama, Nicaragua.

Yeah! Did you read my paper?

No, Marisa, I lived your paper!

You've just described everything that
happened in my mission last weekend.

Oh yeah, I knew it felt familiar.

But don't worry, Mr. Forman
will just think I made it up.

Yeah, yeah, until the
cyber-att*ck story is on the news

and they realize that you knew Dirk
Henry's name before Channel did.

As well as the location of
his undisclosed location!

Marisa, that information
was completely classified.

Well, then you probably shouldn't
have blabbed about it to me!

I'm starting to realize that now.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪


♪ I always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪


♪ But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect, so many things I ♪

♪ Want to tell you, but I ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Living my life on red alert ♪

♪ Doing my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪


♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I got to find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

Marisa, I don't think you get it.

If Mr. Forman reads that top-secret
information, he's gonna have to go away.

Oh, great. Yeah, he could
really use a vacation.

He's been very snippy lately in class.

Yeah, not that kind of "go away."

I mean, like, go away-go away.

And then when they realize that
he got that information from you

and you got the information
for me, all three of us

will be living on some Siberian ice farm
where there's no Internet, no cable,

and no curling irons. (Gasps)

Yes, just ice. Lots and lots of ice.

And before you ask, not
the kind you skate on.

So I'm gonna need you to go
in there and get that paper.

Uhhh! This is what I get
for doing my homework.


Hey, Mr. Forman. Aah.

I need my paper back. I think
there might be a typo in it.

Well, based on the last
six papers you turned in...

I'm pretty sure there is.

(Fake) Ha ha ha ha ha.

Good one, Mr. F.

Uh, but seriously, can I have it back?

No. You've already gotten
more extensions than...

Bonnie Silverstein.

It's too much, Bonnie.
You're not fooling anyone.

(Cell phone rings)

Hey, Beverly.

Don't "Hey Beverly" me.

We still haven't gotten
your mission report.

We need your debriefing about
the cyber-att*ck ASAP, KC.

I know. I'm sorry, it's just that

we got home really late
last night, and then I had...

My mother-in-law is
visiting, my kid has the flu,

and I just managed to eat
an entire jar of bacon bits

because nobody here can manage

to stock the kitchen with actual snacks!!!

But you really don't care, do you?

Well, no, not really.

Yeah, well, now you know
how I feel about your stuff.

No excuses. Get it done.

Nothin' but bacon bits?! Really?!

Forman won't give me the paper.

Well, there's only one thing we can do.

k*ll him?

No.

Oh, sorry. I'm new at all this spy stuff.

Okay. Now we just need to
get into Forman's classroom,

get your paper... easy as pie.

See, what does that mean, "easy as pie"?

Cuz once I tried to make pie, and
it was kind of a pain in the butt.

I mean, the crust alone...
Would you just focus?

It's locked.

See? Pie not easy. Pie hard.

Not when you have the Helping Hand.

It is the latest addition in The
Organization's arsenal of gadgets.

Okay.

(Bubbly sounds)

(Timer beeps)

We're in!

Wow, this is the first
time I've ever seen you

this excited about being in a classroom.

(Laughs)

Mr. Forman is a magician.

He's doing some sort of magic show.

The Great Formini?

Well, I believe the meanie part.

Mr. Forman: Thanks for letting
me use the office copier, Marjorie.


Let me just grab my flyer.

Oh man, it's Mr. Formini. I mean Forman.

Hide.

Hmm.

Marisa, what are you doing? He
already took your paper. It's gone.

Oh no, I'm looking for my phone.

He took it away from me in class.

(Sing-songy) Here it is!

Welcome to my humble abode! I hope...

Oh, it's just you.

Why aren't you at school?

I forgot my book.

Is it a book on how to
avoid showering after gym?

Maaaaaybe.

It's called "personal hygiene"
for a reason: it's personal.


Hey, what are you doing
home? I took a "me" day.

You can't just take a day off.

Public education is the cornerstone
of a progressive democratic society.

So is showering. Yet here we are.

Besides, my friend Trudy is coming over.

She's also a robot.

A robot playdate.

What happens? You compare
nuts and bolts? (Laughs)

(Laughter trails off)

We were manufactured in the same factory.

But I can't stand her.

Just because she was first
off the assembly line,

she thinks her circuits don't stink.

I can't wait to brag how I'm a part of
an elite family of supercool spies.

By the way, you're not going to be
here when she gets here, right?

Are you saying I'm an embarrassment?

Maaaaybe?

Don't just stand there.

Go learn.

Okay, enough games.

I'm getting that paper back,
and nothing is gonna stop me.

Except the door to the teachers' lounge,

where he's probably gonna read the paper

and then we're all gonna
wind up in a Siberian prison.

Nice knowing you, everybody!

Dasvidania!

Marisa, relax.

I'm goin' in there.

But no student has ever
gone inside that door.

And Marisa... no student ever will.

(British accent) Well,
helloooo, fellow educators.


Substitute teacher Margaret
Cavendish reporting for du-ty!

Oh, yes!

Nothing like the smell of
uneducated minds, am I right?

Makes you just want to
fill them up with knowledge.

Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge!

Well, before I start
edificating these young minds,

I'm going to rest my weary bones.

Excuse me!

Oh! How kind of you to
squeeze me in, buttercup.

You know, back in my day, we didn't
allow students in the teachers' lounge.

Well, actually I am a teacher.

Oh! But you are just a pup!

A little bitty baby puppy pup!

Thank you.

Oh. Oh, heavens.

I should have never had those
bangers and mash for lunch.

The gas is starting.

(Farts) Uhh!

Would you be a dear and get me some tea?

Happily.

What? A lovely handbag.

Is this a Ravello, too?

(Cell phone rings)

(Regular voice) Yo, wassup.

(British accent) I mean, helloooo!

KC? This is Beverly.

Oh! Hello, dear.

You still owe us that debriefing
report, and we need it ASAP.

Oh, now is not a good time, Snookums.

Okay. Look here, Mary Poppins,

if you've got time to make
up fake character voices,


then you have time to
turn in that debriefing.


Now, this is the last
warning before I come up there

and pull that report out
of your chim-chim-cheroo.

Oh? You got it, Snookums.

Love you too. (Kisses)

You got... What?

Girl, I...

My hubby Herbie, forty years and
he's still chasing after me.

Excuse me. Who are you?

Oh! Hello!

Margaret Cavendish, substitute
teacher extraordinaire.

Well, what are you doing in here?

We need a substitute in room .

Oh! Yes!

Righty-O! Tally ho!

On my way-O!

This way? This way?

Yep! Go on in!

Lovely. Lovely. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you!

And this is our other living room.

What a nice house.

Small, but nice.

Oh, Trudy, you look as good
as the day they made you.

You can hardly see the wear and tear.

You don't look too bad yourself.

I guess you don't see much action.

Oh, robot child, please.

I see plenty of action.

Plus I have the most wonderful family.

No one's better than the Coopers.

Ha! Beg to differ.

Right now I'm on assignment
with a family too.

We live right here in
D.C. in a big white house.

In fact, it is the White House.

You're working for the First Family?

Yes, I am.

Hey! Look at that!

First off the assembly
line, and first again!

But enough about me.

Where's your manners? I'm starving!

You can eat?

Of course.

Didn't your family
spring for the upgrade?


Ha.

Ha ha ha. I hate you.

So Mr. Forman drove
away. Now what do we do?

We are gonna call him
and get him to come back.

Do you think he would do that for you?

No, but he will do it for...

(Altered voice) Vice-Principal Slutsky.

Uh, you need to clear your throat, honey.

Uh-huh. No, this is a voice modifier.

It can make me sound like anybody I want.

(Line out ringing)

Mr. Forman: Hello?

(Man's voice) Mr. Forman.

Yes, uh, this is Vice-Principal Slutsky.

I'm gonna need you back down
at the school immediately.

Ahh. What's the problem?

You do realize I'm your supervisor.

(Static, regular voice resumes) That means you
don't ask questions, you follow direction.

I am getting sick of your attitude, Forman.

Maybe that's why you haven't
had a date in two years.

KC? Is that you?

(Clears throat) No. No,
this is Vice-Principal...

You know what, I'm gonna
have to call you back.

My voice modifier just
d*ed. I need to call Beverly.

Don't bother. I'm here.

Oh, hi! I'm Marisa. Nice to m...

Oh! Thanks goodness you're here.
I was just about to call you.

See, my voice modifier just
d*ed for, like, no reason.

Oh, there's a reason. You just
lost all your gadget privileges.

I shut you down.

Uh, why?

Hmm. Maybe it has something to do with

the fact that you haven't
turned in your debriefing!

When you do, the gadgets go back on.

(Cell phone rings)

Ohh, great. My
mother-in-law.

Hey. How ya doin'?

Why are you calling me?!

You should be calling the fire department!

Lord, that woman. She's burning
my house down on purpose.

She never liked me. She said I
wasn't good enough for her son.

Get the report done!

...eet you.

W-What happened to Bev?

She's gone. And worse, she took
all of my gadget privileges.


How am I supposed to find
this paper with no gadgets?

Right, because they have
been so helpful up to now.


Well, let me throw you
out... I mean, show you out.


It's been fun.

Maybe for you.

Ha ha!

Sorry. Thought you'd have tighter bolts.

You did that on purpose!

(Screams)

Ow!

You give me my arm back right this second!

Okay, if that's what you want.

(Groaning)

Give it to me.

Okay.

Hyaaahh!

(Crash)

Both: Hyaahh!

(Banging on door) Petey: Judy!!!

(Banging on door) Judy!!!

You weren't in school so
I brought your homework.

Anybody home?

Judy!

Aaaaaah!

Hahhhh!

You put my head back on right this second!

Petey: Judy!!!

Judy!!!

(Electrical crackling)

Oh, hi, Petey.

Aaaaaah!

This is my friend Trudy.
Trudy, Petey. Petey, Trudy.

Nice to meet you.

Maaaaahhh!

Awright. Here it is,
just like the flyer said.

The Great Formini.

All right, we have found Mr. Forman.

And we didn't need any of
your fancy gadgets to do it.

We did it the old-fashioned way...

with the Internet.

I'm gonna keep watch.

You go find your paper
before my cover is blown.

I found it. I found my paper!

Great, let's get out of here.

Mr. Forman: Oh, this is a disaster!

(Audience booing) I hope
I brought my backup doves.


It's Mr. Forman! Hide!

Okay, um...

In here. Okay.

Hey, the door is locked. What's happening?

Duh....magic?

(Sighs) Man...

I don't know how to get out of here.

Oh, I do.

Abracadabra!

Hey, nothing is happening.

Shocker.

Wait, do you... do you have any
of those gadgety thingies left?

Marisa, have you not been
with me the entire day?

No. I don't have any gadgety thingies

because my gadgety thingies were taken away

because I was unable to
turn in my debriefing report.

You are the reason why I have
nothing to get us out of here.


You're the reason why I almost
got kicked out of The Organization.

You are the reason why we are
stuck in this tiny magic cabinet!

Oooh! I am so mad right now.

If I could turn my back on
you I would, but I cannot,

so I am going to close
my eyes on you instead.

Well, someone wants to be greedy

and use up all the oxygen in
here on her little tantrum.

This is the most ridiculous
story you've ever come up with

in your entire life.

Ma, I'm not making it up.

I'm telling you, Judy didn't have a head!

You have a runaway imagination.

It's because you watch all those TV
shows that are too mature for you.

Well, Mama's gonna go in her purse and
write you a check... a reality check!

(Knocking on door)

Hi, Ernie. Can I see your mom?

Probably not from here. She's in Florida.

But please, come in.

Hello, Mrs. Goldfeder.

Hiya, Petey. Nice to see you both.

Well, well, well.

Look who has a head, Petey.

But Mom, I'm telling you.

There was another girl with no body
parts, and Judy's head was off!

And she was yelling at the girl
who had wires coming out of her!

Petey! Does that sound like an actual thing

that could happen to an actual
person in actual real life?

Does it?!

But it seemed so real.

Ohh.

Someone's been watching too many TV shows.

Mom, look! There's the girl!

She has no head! And a missing arm! And...

Petey! That's enough.

I think we need to make an
appointment for you to see Dr. Feldman.

I know what I saw!

See ya later, Petey!

But Mom!

(Chewing noisily)

Really?!

You're gonna chew gum in my face?

Wouldn't k*ll you to have a piece.

You're not exactly minty fresh.

Why, Marisa, why did you
have to take my story?

I don't know.

Could you just tell me?

KC, just leave me alone.

I would love to leave you
alone, but if you haven't

noticed, we are stuck in this teeny
little box, so can you just tell me?

KC, stop. Seriously, just tell me!

I don't have a story of my own to tell.

What are you talking about?

KC, you are a spy.

You do all of these amazing spy things.

You fly to Bulgaria and repel off
of mountains and save the world,

and then you come home and
you ace your calculus test.

You know what I do?

I sit around and I wait
for you to get home.

Which story would you want to read?

You know what? You're right.

There is absolutely nothin'
interesting about you.

I mean, unless you want to
count the fact that you are

extremely creative, hilariously funny,

and you have this way
of looking at the world

like absolutely nobody on this planet.

Look, Marisa, you may not have a special
life, but you make life special.

KC, that's the most beautiful
thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, me too.

Got it off a greeting card.

What? You're not the only one
who can rip off something good.

What's going on? We're moving!

Um, I don't know.

Emcee: And now, welcome to
the stage The Great Formini.


(Applause) Mr. Forman: Thank you!

Thank you.

We're on the stage. This is his show.

I've always wanted to
see how these tricks work!

Which one do you think he'll start with?

I'm gonna go with the one
with the sword through the box.

That's right. The cabinet
is completely... empty.

Now, who will volunteer to step
inside the Cabinet of Mystery?

(Nervous giggle)

And that is how The Great Formini
makes two high school girls


appear from an empty cabinet!

Ta-da!

(Applause)

Marisa! KC!

Uh, and now, watch...

as The Great Formini

makes these two high school girls...

disappear.

Abracadabra!

(Applause)

Well, I handed in my new paper
and you got your gadgets back.

Yep. Wait until you see what this one does.

Okay.

Okay, this is so cool. How does it work?

Well, it basically uses the scientific
principles of gravity and repulsion...

Okay, I'm bored. Make me spin.

(Squeals with delight)

Ha ha!

Woman: Rob, your name's on TV!

(Boing)
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